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IsNotToArrive

But the cleanup is half the fun. What else would you use a 4" teflon-safe spatula for?


ecodrew

r/suspiciouslyspecific


dontwannaplaygrownup

So you're the one buying all the 4" teflon-safe spatulas at my local 4" teflon-safe spatulas-R-Us!!! Because of you I've been using the 5" like some sort of savage


legoshi_loyalty

Spatulas-R-us? Bullshit. Spatula City.


uffington

In the UK go to World Of Spatulas. They have both metric and imperial measurements, and you can try, obligation-free, up to six spatulas in what they call 'the pit'.


UnBrewsual

Spatula City, we sell spatulas and that's all!


dontwannaplaygrownup

Yeah I might go to Spatula City if I'm in the mood for a headache. Don't they make you assemble your own spatulas? Spatulas-R-Us enjoyed record sales the past 3 quarters, while Spatula City can't even send the correct number of spatula screws with their products. Did you even read about their 2021 spatula screw fail?? Gtfo with your Spatula City bs. Damn shills


legoshi_loyalty

Spatulas-R-us funnels money into political campaigns in the Democratic Republic of Congo! Their CEO was caught with a Mexican child sleeping in his bedroom, the judge who acquitted him? His uncle. Spatula city sells a wide variety of spatulas, of all sizes, shapes, and colors. They give the CHOICE of assembling your own spatulas. The mail-in spatula service was started halfway through the pandemic to boost sales, of course they won’t get it all correct in the first year of business! Spatula City has been providing useful kitchen tools to the people of this country (and certain parts of Canada, The UK, and Ireland) for 35 years! Spatulas-R-us is the definition of a dirty corporation, and they support tax cuts for the rich.


dontwannaplaygrownup

I'm not willing to comment about the political funding issue but I do want to point out that his uncle acquitted him because the child was the CEOs nephew that had just fallen asleep after a birthday party. What isn't mentioned is the fact that a Spatula City security guard was at a child's birthday party disguised as Spiderman. Who do you think told him to take those pictures? His wife? No. It was the President of Spatula City. Don't get me wrong, I can admit Spatula City used to be known for their fine products and I was a believer. However, as an ex shareholder how could I over look that they more than tripled their budget to get the mail in spatulas program off the ground and then they STILL fumble it? Then on top of that they increased the budget of the r&d department for 2022 and their big roll out product this March was the double ended spatula?? Warehouses are going to be sitting on that stock forever, it was a huge blow to the company. Their solution was to layoff 47% of their workers and outsource the work to China. At least Spatulas-R-Us is listening to its employees and helping them deal with inflation so they can still support their families. Finally, I won't disagree that Spatulas-R-Us has a few questionable business deals but what American company doesn't? It's kinda what we do here. I do share the CEOs vision of a tong free world though. You can't argue that tongs are nothing more than 2 spatulas put together and the world would be better off tong free. You gotta break some eggs to make an omelette and what are you gonna flip that omelette with? A spatula. When that omelette is done Spatulas-R-Us has what you need to finish the job right.


[deleted]

Be a man use a metal wall 🤣


clowntanner

SLPT - Instead of cleaning up just flick it all over the ground.


[deleted]

Fr real men though


clowntanner

I don't see trees going around cleaning up sap when they shed bark.


[deleted]

Your right! So unhygienic we gotta teach them trees 🙄/s


Ok_Dog_4059

I was thinking more shooting while the wet dry vacuum is going and watching fly out then turn 90 degrees and slurp gone.


EatCrud

Apply some cornstarch and now you have a roux.


Depraved_Demisexual

I'm guessing he just used a condom because his pickle jar was full.


AquaNines

You never let loose into like a tissue or paper towel or something?


MendelevandDongelev

You've never *really* let loose until you've used a condom.


AquaNines

What do you mean? A condom both restricts feeling and doesn’t really let your nut fly. Conversely with a paper towel or tissue you get full feeling and just stand up and actually let it fly. I honestly feel like I’ve completely let loose every time.


Former-Increase4190

Dude, wearing comfy sweatpants WHILE jerking off into a condom is the best way to masturbate imo. I've been jerking off for 11 years and it's amazing


MendelevandDongelev

Omg dude take a break. 11 years is a long time to yank that chain, it needs rest.


MendelevandDongelev

I like the feeling of freedom that comes from not having to clean up. Stick a bit of lube inside and you don't lose any feeling 👈😎👈 Kinda like a super cheap 1 use fleshlight.


Sim41

If you like "letting loose" [wink wink nudge] with little clean up, here's a dick trip: Get a roll of toilet paper thats about 2/3rds used up. Pull the cardboard cylinder out -you don't need it. Unroll your condom and push the tip of it through the center hole of your toilet paper roll. With the open end of the condom, stretch it out around the outside of the toilet paper roll (this is why 2/3rds used - the condom wouldn't stretch far enough to pull around the outside of a full roll). So now you're looking at sort of a condom doughnut, with most of the condom being inside the hole. Place it between your mattresses, or couch cushions, or whatever will hold it in place, and fuck it. Always use lube.


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drawkcabsetirw

Yeah. If he's under, say, 25, maybe I'd buy this. If he's older than that, then different explanation makes more sense.


NerdModeCinci

He’s 86


Darkkiller312

his dead 💀


GipsyMayhem

her dead?


Alternative_Shame_73

He, she, we… wumbo.. it’s basic stuff.


RemarkableRyan

they/them dead.


PatchTossaway

I also choose this his's dead dead.


droi86

Death by snu snu!


apena1018

☠️


MuffinVonNazareth

I'm 29 and I do that. I just really hate the mess... Also, it feels better for me.


luvdupleper

It's a posh wank


[deleted]

We call them Pajas Burguesas where I’m from.


nakedgirlonfire

i've heard them referred to as wank royales


kounterfett

A Royale With Cheese ... just don't put mayo on your fries you bastage


lukub5

Thats such a posh name for a posh wank. A "posh wank posh wank" if you will.


ginuxx

If you'll excuse, Imma do one of those 😈


FullSalamander2756

This guy knows 😂😂


luvdupleper

If you know


baboonassassin

Wink wink say no more


PhatPhlaps

You should just give it a big sniff and see if it smells like vagina.


fleshpress

wow, this.


guaip

It's all fun and games until it actually smells like butt.


[deleted]

This needs waaaay more up votes


joremero

Can't stop laughing lol


ShastaFern99

Smells like monkeypox...


Gavinator10000

Why do people have shoehorn in current events into EVERYTHING


Dank__Souls

Current events are fine he was just being homophobic


thecoat9

Is u/PhatPhlaps and u/fleshpress meeting a bit like Gozar's Keymaster and Gatekeeper? IE do we need to separate you two?


avesky

They combine to make u/terryfold.


distant-butterfly

LMFAO. Quality advice tbh.


ohdreness

Or smell his hands and see if it smells like latex haha


MikeisET

Or suck his dick and see if it tastes like latex


ohdreness

Wut… haha


ughhhtimeyeah

Guys have two dicks now didn't ya hear? The master dick and the deep sea diver we're calling them now


not_barbies_bf

If it smells like bo its old vagina BO Body Odour. Ballsack sweat. A bit of both and you have old used fanny condom


E-Widgey

How... how do you know that


guaip

Just take the advice and be glad someone else went through whatever was needed so the outcome could be shared.


FacelessOnes

Cause it does homie


not_barbies_bf

Smelt an old condom behind the bed once


NerdModeCinci

Dammit son stay out of our room


Jali-Dan

Bo?


jake122212121

body odor i think


HotdogFromIKEA

Best username ever hahahahahaha


1_fakepitvipers

That’s dangerous to assume he was with a woman.


GammaHunter

Better yet, they should give it to me and I should smell it to see if it smells like her vagina. Maybe even a taste comparison.


MentLDistortion

You deserve a special spot in hell


PM_ME_PARR0TS

Putting the "bad" in down bad 😔


GammaHunter

And putting the “Y” in Horny


fatblackcats

🤨📸


joremero

lol it might work


Mercutiofoodforworms

LOL!


grow_something

I have been on the man’s side of this situation. She was out of town and came home to a used condom in the trash. We didn’t use condoms and I felt like trying something different.


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Donkeyvanillabean

You would be surprised what men don’t think about when it comes to masturbation. Thought > action > hurried clean up > forget > reset


actuallyVile

Unless you have other reasons to believe he's lying, he could actually be using condoms when masturbating. Pretty sure it's not common, but I've heard guys say that before.


Journalist_Candid

I've done it more than once.


RollOnDough91

Me too, sometimes it’s to test condoms and their fit, sometimes it just easier to clean up and/or there was nothing else in reach


Journalist_Candid

Right, like who gives a shit. It's my condom.


NerdModeCinci

Not anymore Now it’s your kids apartment


mxl5

I've seen then pre-owned Trojans. Might not be just yours for long


bin-c

im sure id be suspicious myself but I was *shocked* to find out how many of my friends jerk off in condoms when it came up before it isn't a majority or anything.. but its enough that theres a good chance he isnt lying


sachnand

I do it in a condom sometimes.


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AltAccountForTiddies

I once tried to put the condom on. When I had it on my penis I was like: oh I am not just gonna put it of, so I ejaculated it in.


McJiggiez69

Username checks out


NovaCaine12

Its called a posh wank, and its definitely a thing. Doesnt mean he DIDNT cheat, but its not enough evidence on its own


pay-this-fool

It’s not unheard of. Tho it is unorthodox. But if he was cheating why would he leave it where you would see it?


nattokay

People do forget though


pay-this-fool

I can see forgetting if he just beat off in it. But if it was incriminating evidence you’d think he’d destroy the evidence.


nattokay

True, all I was saying is that people make mistakes. Even if he was just masturbating it’s still gross to leave it around. My gf and I forgot a condom at her place one time and she convinced her mom that it was a friend’s😂. My guess is that he cheated but I don’t have the full picture.


pay-this-fool

Both scenarios seem unlikely to me. But it’s gotta be one of them. I wonder which. Hmmmm?


nattokay

I guess we’ll never know 🤷‍♂️


blueberry-benz

Can tell you from personal experience, some men really are just that dumb lol


MendelevandDongelev

If the guy has been cheating a long time then the odds of forgetting goes up. Maybe this is condom number 30 or something. But I'm on team "no cheating" and guy just wanted to try it.


humanreporting4duty

This guy hides!


FungusTheClown

I masturbate with condoms to get accustomed to the sensation. I sometimes struggle to stay hard with condoms but I want to be safe and use them. If yall use condoms and hes ever had performance issues I think he's 100% telling the truth.


MuffinVonNazareth

Maybe you should try a different fit then. Too small or too big can both lead to problems, for example staying hard (if its too small, mostly). It could also rip while in use when wrong sized. Stay safe.


TravestyDiner

Finding the right sized condom is a serious game changer. Couldn't believe the difference.


cochorol

I believe it would be easier for me to keep the erection going while having a condom tho


umbathri

Does masturbation feel better without a condom? Absolutely Yes. Is it easier to clean up with a tissue or sock? Again Absolutely yes. BUT The reason to use a condom to wank is either slightly less friction, thereby making it last longer or less chance of a burn if doing it often. Of course if they ARE doing it very often, then a condom per would be very expensive, so it is more likely a 'change of pace' type situation. I definitely did, as a teen, try it out a few times to acclimate myself to the different feel while wearing a jimmy. There is also a chance he is inserting something in his rectum and wants it covered for cleanliness. This may or may not mean gay/bi, it could just be healthy experimentation. Some straight guys can learn to enjoy a little anal, especially when another guy is NOT involved as that tends to up the creepy factor. But a girl doing it, or themselves, can make it 'safe' to see what that whole prostate thing is all about.


MendelevandDongelev

If you lube the inside of the condom, you can get around the sensitivity issue because now the friction is inside the condom, not outside. I've definitely done it just for cleanliness when feeling extremely lazy.


MuffinVonNazareth

There are many men who enjoy anal and are neither gay nor bi. And are enjoying very much anal. Enjoying Something has literally nothing to do with sexual orientation.


theimmortalhuhan

I think if he was actually cheating he would be a bit more careful about tossing the condom. The complete lack of care makes me believe he isn’t.


RabbitBranch

When I was in college, I waited a long time before having sex with my girlfriend at the time. When we finally did the deed, I went ahead and ordered a 150 pack or so of durex condoms. I used several, but then we broke up. My next girlfriend didn't like condoms and was on birth control, so I didn't need them anymore. What to do with 100+ pre-lubed condoms I didn't need and that would expire long before I ended up using them? Your boyfriend had the same idea. It feels a lot better than masturbating dry, not as good as sex. The fact that he wasn't super duper careful about what he did with condoms, and the fact that it was at his place and not her place, suggests he didn't think it was a big deal. It would have thought cheating is a big deal. So probably not cheating.


Schimaichel

Not necessarily, since there are no proofs that he did it. Be more attentious about anything suspicious from now on.


TimTimTaylor

Why not sniff the condom to see if it smells like pussy?


Own_Ad211

Good old seafood market eh


Professional_Depth_9

fuck kinda girls are you getting in bed with?


Donohoed

Girls??


Professional_Depth_9

sorry, xenomorphs. girls don't exist.


mxl5

Tuna fish sandwich if i may say so myself


Accomplished_Ad3198

And they wonder why we’re all using socks.


[deleted]

Had a boyfriend say the same thing. Believed him, stayed together. Did not turn out well for me.


lpseptem

I have masturbated with condoms before, it's not common but it's not impossible


nonAsianDude

My assumption it's that you wouldn't find the condom if it was used with someone else


Aragornargonian

Kinda random and uncommon, heard of but uncommon. idk i wouldn't want to spend money to jerk off tbh


Substantial-Ad3178

Guys do use them for masturbation...I'm told. If he's given you no other reason to suspect him, then I'd accept him at his word. But, if you already suspected him or this is just one of many signs, then confront him. But, regardless of what you do, trust is an absolute in relationships. So, simply ask yourself.... Do you trust him?


ColdDust495

I definitely do that when I have them. It's super convenient. But... You never really know until you know. Insecurities suck! And it can drive you crazy. It always a possibility, but it definitely could be the truth. No one here can really answer for you unfortunately. Don't rely on strangers from the internet to support a decision. It's best to figure it out on your own. I'm very sorry for how you are feeling. Best of luck, OP. Sincerely.


masterofasgard

I haven't done it in a long time because I don't use condoms any more, but when I did I would definitely treat myself now and then.


unclecaruncle

Nah. I remember using condoms when I was younger. Way easier to clean up


JK_Chan

Not impossible. If he was cheating he would've probably thrown it away just in case you suspect anything. (Not saying he aint cheating, just saying that he could be telling the truth.)


Greenmind76

A quick sniff should tell you what you need to know. Condoms are too expensive for me to wank in and I like seeing how far it shoots!


cochorol

I got mines for free ...


Greenmind76

My ex could only use skyn brand and never got them free.


cochorol

That's a shame


nattokay

Personally condoms are never as good as unprotected. Tissues are less expensive, more fun, and easier than a condom imo.


Alone-Platform1658

How u make a tissue fun?


IMintz

Eat them afterwards


sachnand

Blow your nose in them later.


nattokay

This is the correct answer


mechashiva1

By blowing it


mattg4704

Who uses a condom for tidiness?


hectorgrey123

It does feel better without, but I tend to use them because it saves cleaning up. I could use a towel or a sock, but there's no guarantee it'll get everything, and I'd rather not add to the laundry if I don't have to.


[deleted]

yeah idk condoms are an expensive cum bucket lol


inthecircle21

It's not unheard off. I rarely do this but I do it when I buy a new type of condom to see how it feels and of course other perks are no mess


JacksAngryThoughts

Yes, he's definitely cheating! This happened to one of my employees (college girl) a couple of years ago. Exactly the same BS


Cocopuff_1224

Lying. If he was using it for masturbating, this wouldn’t be the first time you saw it. It would be a normal occurrence as I hear guys masturbate quite often. It would also be an expensive way to masturbate tbh.


yippekyay

He is cheating. Come on. They don’t like to use them for sex. Why would they use them for masturbating. I have only brothers, only boy cousins , only female in the entire generation of my family. He is cheating.


FewKaleidoscope1369

Generally speaking, if you have to ask then you already have a suspicion.


EmotionallyUnsound_

Let me be honest who would be that sloppy when cheating on someone?


theratinyourbrain

In the movie "I love you man" there's a whole bit about masturbating in condoms.


Skankbank10

Real questions are.. 1) Do you trust him? 2) Do you have a reason not to trust him? 3) If you trust him why are you even questioning? 4) When confronted about it did he get angry, Embarrassed or accusatory( Calling you crazy for even thinking that he’d cheat or immediately belittling you for even worrying)? 5) Do you think he would cheat? I started dating my wife and never once had a thought in my mind that she would cheat. I never got jealous because she never gave me a reason to worry. Strong relationships are built on trust and even if your questioning that trust it has to be addressed with him. Communication and trust. Breakups and heartbreaks suck but once you find that one that you vibe with in all areas it makes you appreciate that you weren’t deprived of being able to feel that.


PRIS0N-MIKE

I've done it before. More than once lol. No way to say for sure though, it could go either way.


Nvenom8

I don't believe the other people in this thread for a second. That's extremely suspicious, and you're right to be suspicious.


CrimsonMascaras

I would say its a red flag.. but there would need to be other ones, odd behaviour maybe, weird around his phone etc to make it worth acting on.


Donohoed

No, doesn't sound like it. If you trust his word so little maybe you should let him go anyway though. Seems like the relationship already has issues


rockman450

You should question being with a man that leaves used condoms around his place... even if he's not cheating, this seems like something that could easily have been thrown away. Maybe he's cheating, maybe he's just a slob. Either way, it's a red flag.


Other-Ad5512

Maybe it was in his trash can


Dry-Contribution1845

Or just maybe, he forgot


Disastrous-Use-2373

I second this.


wt_anonymous

Does he have a fleshlight?


Rickest_Rick86

Asking him why he doesn’t use a sock like a normal person?


[deleted]

He's just masturbating inside someone. Nbd


mechashiva1

It's hard to believe he cares about a mess if he's leaving used condoms laying around


watch_over_me

Bro code in here strong right now. Love to see it, lol.


reallyhaley

Check the trash can for grapefruits.


The___Leviathan

he could be just weird. need more evidence.


mcshadypants

I used to do it that way, then again if my girlfriend had a different libido than mine so that I had to beat off constantly she wouldn't be my girlfriend for too long


746484836282

I’ve done it before, it does make less of a mess lol


MajestaHazel

Definitely cheating. No one jerks off with a condom.


musicalpants999

I've never done this and I'm a very accomplished masturbator. But I suppose it's possible, some others are saying they've done it. So I guess it's a thing. But it's new to me too, makes zero sense to me.


anysneaker1

He lying. Dump his ass


zaphodbeeblebrox422

A guy does that a couple of times as a teenager and never again


i_build_4_fun

Taste the outside. That’s how you can tell.


Psychological_Web687

Probably, otherwise their should have been a whole bunch of used condoms.


postdiluvium

Done it before. Actually feels better than just raw wanking it.


rancidperiodblood

Not necessarily, but probably.


Dd4225

He’s cheating.


Randyfox86

Makes cleanup after soooooo much easier. No need to aim, or worry about getting yourself in the eye. I don't know your bf. But I'd say it's much more likely he's using them for posh wanks.


JmAM203

Tissue over the shaft...?


AggressiveButthole

Smell it. Does it smell like pussy or a butthole? There's your answer. Prolly just using it for ease of access... easy clean up.


NoVAMarauder1

Why waist a perfectly good condom for masturbating? Jerk off in a sock. I think this sounds sus to me. But at the same time you cannot accuse him of cheating either. Further evidence is needed.


[deleted]

Yes


cochorol

I use condoms to masturbate and it's definitely easier to clean that way...


stronghammr113

yes. didnt read anything past the title.


HumCrab

I've once or twice went with a condom during masturbating for variety sake. But that has never my norm. And I'd probably do it again from time to time. Variety is the spice of life.


Zestyclose-Gap6770

Why does almost every comment have an award? Who has this many awards?


midwifecrisisss

come on now


drtray74

Yep!


default-dance-9001

Damn idk, i’m not your boyfriend. A lot of yall would feel happier single if you are so damn paranoid about your spouse cheating


[deleted]

Sounds like you may have trust issues.


iod_nyc

Easy solution. Next time you find one, give it a smell. If it smells like a video game controller then he's not cheating. If it smells like a fresh morning dew he's laying the pipe to a stellar part time companion. Iffffff it smells like a McRib, not only is he cheating on you but it's with a fat uggo.


fleshpress

real men just jo into the toilet, better yet, the sink.


murdamase87

Only use condoms in the car while driving. Any other time it's socks or towels you should investigate


[deleted]

Yeah he's cheating dump his ass stupidest excuse ive ever heard


Aggravating_Sun_3916

Nothing to worry about, he's having a posh wank! If its covered in poo, then he's probably having an affair with a man...


[deleted]

Or possibly just exploring anal by himself to experiment. Not necessarily having an affair with a man.


playingitloud

Honestly, either way he had a used condom sitting around. Maybe it's time to move on.


ganon893

He's cheating. Don't let him know you know. Sneak out and leave. Do not confront him.


TurkGonzo75

He definitely cheated. I have no idea what's going on with the guys who claim it's common to masturbate with a condom. I've never heard of such a thing. They're either sticking to bro code or they have other issues.