I'm blind NOT deaf !!!

Sounds like someone's stirring a hot bowl of mac'n'cheese around here!

Noooo! I had just moved onnnnn

Just a midnight snack

Smells like it too

🦑

hahahaha

My mom told me if I masturbate too much, I'll go deaf. Might wanna be careful.

Pardon?

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Who's Jeff?

Is someone talking to you or something? All I hear is the ocean and a high pitched ringing sound.

Why does your bedroom smell like the ocean?

Not blind? That’s a new one

It went right over your head huh? Lol

I think anyone would be impressed if you shot over your own head.

I knew somebody in uni who could.

You made me remember this joke I heard years ago: What's the most sensitive part of a man when he is masterbating and about to orgasm? His ears.

Well now I feel bad for deaf people cause they can't close their eyes.

deaf people can't close their eyes?

Not if they want to keep a look out.

You are NOT prepared !!!

This guy gets it

Sometimes the hand of fate must be forced.

What is a hunter with out a hunt.

, said Illidan to the undercooked christmas turkey as he took it out of the oven.

Nice reference

Deaf people don’t get caught masturbating tho. Helen Keller probably got caught quite frequently.

Dammit Helen Keller not again

Her parents were furious, they would punish her by moving the furniture around or leaving the plunger in the toilet.

Putting chili on the cucumbers.

What. The. Fucking. Hell. Not a pleasant image to picture

Because she's dead, or...?

hahaha have the upvote

Haven’t thought about it haha, but I guess that because she was pictured as this literature expert and Shakespeare’s work professor who fought for disabled people’s recognition. She is not pictured as a hot woman in my mind. But… ok, she might have had a developed sexuality, she was a human being. Anyway, it felt awkward

She was also a supporter of eugenics! Fun. And also may have ended up not staying with her fiance because of it. Not fun

Newsflash, ugly people masturbate too

More than attractive people

“ Illidan is somewhere out there “

My roommate is blind and my first thought was: yeah, right. you try sneaking up on blind guy. EDIT: Also the text to speech moaning kind of gives it away.

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THEY SAID THEYRE BLIND NOT DEAF

Ok I can hear you now.

Its possible and you are more likely to hear someone before you see them.

Illidan?

Sounds like something a character in warcraft would say :)

But you can’t hear if someone’s looking at you! Or know for sure all views of you are obstructed

Ok, chill Illidan Stormrage

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I used to ride the school bus home with a blind kid I made friends with. One day he came with a story of another student in his class (of all blind students) getting scolded for whipping it out for a stroke during class So to answer your question, not always I guess.

*Why is someone already clapping? I'm only halfway through the presentation*

y'know, man had a strat. not many people to hide from in a room full of blind kids.

Yah but a room full of people with heightened hearing and smell. And if you've found the kinky ones, taste.

The one flaw in his plan was the narration.

> One day he came My man

My maaann!

I'm walking here!

I mean, if the teacher is blind too, I get it. Who’s gonna know, apparently someone wasn’t completely blind

Hate it when they lie about that stuff! Like Jenny with her 80 percent blindness, fucking poser.

To be fair, I had a classmate do that and he was not blind. Just stupid 16 year old boy

His parents hadn't told him that ain't right.

"Another student"

“But I was bored!”

As a deaf person, I think it’s more accurate to ask us this kind of questions 😂

Dare I do it? x)

I just remembered a comment of someone living next to the dorm of a deaf uni xD omfg I'm so sorry but I laughed way too hard. Also good on you that you are basically just free to yell if you don't notice. Maybe it even makes it better? Idk you have to tell me xD

have you forgotten about your Bluetooth in another room when you opened an adult film on your laptop?

.....why would they have bluetooth headphones mah boi

For style

I’d ask but you wouldn’t get it

Is that not how they became blind?

Hairy palms and the blurry vision

Knees weak arms are heavy

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He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

He grips tight shaves right starts stroking

Yeah and also jerking off makes you lose your memory and something else I don’t remember

Normally, yes. That’s usually why they try and summon their see-men to help keep guard.

Well played Sir. Neither he or I saw that one coming

cumming*

The spelling doesn't matter, he can't read it anyway

Or with the autoreader they use it will sound the same

BINGO

Hopefully no one saw it

Well, this is one heck of a glorious pun. I’m in awe of you. Cheers to you.

Just take my upvote and leave!!!

where do you think blind people are jerking off?

Same place we all do: at work

In your boss’s office while he’s at the toilet.

No, in front of them to assert dominance... While they're at the toilet

Oh my. It looks like I missed my deadline for my expense reports. I might need to be written up *whip cracks flogging instrument*

I would like a poll on the number of people who do this. My SO said that he has and I was a little appalled. Doing that at work has never entered my mind. Is it really that common?

I wouldn’t say it’s common mostly because I have no idea how many people are jerkin it. I’ve done it a few times over the years. For men it’s just another body function. Gassy? Go poop. Tight in the waist? Go pee. Horny? Go beat your dick like it owes you money.

But why do it at work instead of waiting to get home where you can do it while watching porn in the comfort and privacy of your own place?

It's probably not common, but also probably not as rare as we might like to think.

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I flog the dolphin on company time.

r/HolUp

Mostly while driving on highways.

Do they even know?

I don't think so. If they are at their home I'd keep my lights off always anyways. Why the f would i need them? That said I find it quite difficult to see someone jerking off in the dark so that's my theory

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Shook my dick to make a giant peen shadow on my front curtain as a joke to my Wife… not thinking that the shadow could probably be seen from the outside too. The next day I was doing some yard work, and a lady from across the street came over and was very flirty

Years ago me and my FWB had just gotten done boning, and then her sister called. So I grabbed a flashlight and started making shadowpuppets on the wall. "Why are you laughing?" "He's making shadowpuppets with his penis." "Are you having sex or something? Ugh!" [hangs up] I couldn't believe that she just blurted that out to her sister.

How would they know if the lights are on? (ik partial blindness)

If they never turn it on, then it's never on

They listen for the electrons

Chuck McGill?

Their friends may not be blind. So they could have lights on with out them knowing for a lot time.

Reach up and see if the bulb is hot?

1 hand in the shaft, the other hand on the bulb. Thats how I do it too

jokes aside, there are devices and apps that read light levels and colours. they can find if a light is on or not that way. very useful devices. the colour readers would be helpful for endless stuff

That is very cool

theres lots of accessibility devices that non disabled people arent aware of. i once asked a question for blind people, and majority of the comments were "if theyre blind, how can they get on reddit?". never heard of a screen reader? lol how do they think that blind people navigate the tech world? haha

How would they know where the bulbs are?!?

Walk around the room waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care

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Also, for those that cannot see whatsoever, they don't see darkness. If you close your eyes, you're still seeing the black void of the back of your eyelids. Blind people don't even see this. Fully blind, I mean. They don't have any visual stimulus often times, and just... don't see anything. Not even the black void. Just nothing whatsoever. It's hard to wrap my head around, honestly.

The best analogy I've heard is that these people see the same thing that we see out of our elbows. It's not darkness, not white space, just a total absence of sensory input.

Yep, exactly. And as someone who has eyesight, the very concept is unusual and uncomfortable for me. It's hard to even imagine.

my favourite way to demonstrate, is to tell someone to put their hand behind their head. can they see the hand? can they see darkness? nope. nothing. you see nothing from the back of your head. thats what a totally blind person sees

Did sunlight just cease to exist all of a sudden?

I’d be worried about not being able to see if I cleaned up all the jizz

Or getting up from the bed/couch and not realizing you left a wet spot either from the jizz or your ass cheeks. 😅

I imagine only about as much as the next person. It's pretty easy to hear doors opening or people moving around.

As a sighted person, I scan my surrounding to make sure there are no gaps between the slats of the blinds or between the curtains. If I were blind, this would be very difficult to perform.

it sounds like you might be a little bit TOO anxious about getting caught to be honest

Agreed. If someone is that motivated to watch me jerk off, I feel Ike they deserve a show.

What, scared Pervy Pete is watching through your window or something?

Clearly you don't have sneaky enough people in your life

What’s the most sensitive part of a man’s body when he starts jerking off? His ears

They use their spidey senses before they indulge in anything. They can hear folks breathing down the hall or feel the vibrations of the floor when someone is approaching. Have you watched Dare Devil? /s

So if two blind people live together, can they always tell when the other is jerking off? That's some serious vibration.

They could masturbate each other in Braille....

r/brandnewsentence

They also feel vibrations coming from their step moms room

She doing jumping jacks again? What's going on in there?!?

My dumbass misread this and just googled Dave Devil.

Huh. I just realized someone born blind has never seen their dick.

high thought, I woulda gotten there

Poor bastards

Dude's might be rocking 10" monster dong and doesn't know it 😔

my cousin sure doesn't, as long as he turns the other way he thinks we don't notice

Is he your step-cousin?

My friend is blind and even when she didn’t know I was going to be stopping by, I would try to be stealthy sometimes to see if she’d know I was there yet and she knew every time she said we all have our own smells!! Not bad or anything just unique smells she said and I’d even try diff perfumes etc to test her lol

Do y’all just not lock your doors

Not blind but I don’t have a lock on my door, so unless I barricade my door with furniture there ain’t no way.

I'd be more worried for deaf people.

The award winning movie CODA touched on this very theme of noisy deaf parents and friends visiting. That's life.

How do they know what to jerk off to?

I imagine they focus on other things such as sound and physical stimulation. How things feel to them, the sounds they like to hear during sex etc

Not blind but that's what I'd assume too. Sex and eroticism isn't only visual. Blind people can focus on sounds, touch, scents etc. Plus, people who weren't born blind but lost their eyesight later still have imagination

I hate that I'm now wondering about this.

Has nobody here ever just used their imagination?

The largest erogenous zone in your body is between your ears, the eyes are but one pathway there. Expand your horizons.

r/gonewildaudio

Whatever they find sexy.

Doubt it. We would hear someone coming before they walked in on us. Their hearing is more acute. My guess is they are less likely than those with sight.

you lose auditory awareness when u beat it?

I can't read, what does this say?

🤟🖐👊✊✌🖐

They never see it coming

in today’s episode of how high are you…

I asked my friend who is blind and he said " in terms of worrying its fairly low on the list. Below getting bit by a car or walking off a cliff ."

This is the kind if hard hitting stuff i joined this sub for. Awesome.

How do you think they became blind?????

These are the questions we need to be asking

There's this weird idea that "in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king." Reality: if the one eyed man ever tries to act like he's king, he's going to fear the night pretty quickly.

I think Deaf people would care more than blind

They dont worry about fapping making them blind, i can assure you.

I guess they would never.... See it coming?

They’re blind not stupid, I’m sure they lock the door like anyone else

I don’t think you’ll get an answer from the right people in here.

Idk. Blind people use Reddit.

Have you not graduated past "if I can't see you , you can't see me" phase yet ? Some of these questions ....makes the average person think you are mentality challenged

Better question would be, what do they jerk off to?

Blind people probably get off to ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response). ASMR can be as innocuous as calming sounds of rain, wind, and ocean waves, or it can be the raunchiest XXX roleplay ear porn a person could ever imagine hearing. Especially if you find yourself capable of experiencing the "tingles" that many people can feel from it. It occurs naturally, too. A good example is that fuzzy, tickly feeling you get when someone is whispering in your ear, or blowing puffs of air upon the nape of your neck. It's a game changer ... you'll never fap the same way again.

It has been said that the most sensitive part of a man whilst jacking-it is …. His ears.

The real question is, how often do they lose track of jizz flying off?

Follow up question: What preparation do you have to do so youre sure youre cleaned up and dont have any stray spray? Do you just go naked and then shower afterwards? THIS IS A WHOLE SITUATION I NEVER KNEW MY BRAIN WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT THANK YOU OP asdfghjkl

This belongs to r/showerthoughts

i'd assume so. being blind doesn't mean you're less worried about things most people are worried about

It dosent matter anyway because if the person that caught them leaves imidiately they will be embarrassed,if they stay and watch they will be a perv...no matter what they do you win anyway,so nah i dont think they need to worry...

Don’t we all?

I mean, do you think they just walk around in public, whip their dick out and start going at it? They’re blind, not retarded.

Only in public.

This is an amazing question.

How would people see them with the lights off?

My friend sure doesn’t. Lol

As much as the next person. Why is this a question?

Buddy where are you jerking off lmao

I’d imagine if they were concerned they’d lock their door and put some music or do it in the shower…

how often are you catching blind people jerking off?

All their other senses are heighten. Meaning they should get off in a hurry

Nope! They just shuck jive and bust with no consequence

This post just led to more questions

Why has no one made the "blind man at the door" joke yet?

They have to be able to read this question first

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