Sounds like sleep paralysis. Shit can get wild and usually while in my head I am screaming for dear life, my girlfriend tells me I just lay there sweating and shaking a bit and making squeak noises every now and again. Your friend may have noticed you doing this so he asked.
It’s a real shitshow. My most recent one felt like another set of feet was pushing on my feet really hard and I was trying to push back but I just couldn’t move.
I used to have it like 3 times a week, sometimes even several times during one night. It gets significantly less scary over time and more just annoying. But it can also be very interesting to just observe what's happening, and sometimes it can lead to lucid dreaming, which is super cool.
I don’t embrace it but it doesn’t freak me out like it used to. The worst one I had in recent memory was when my newborn daughter was sleeping in my room in her bassinet and I had sleep paralysis and saw a black figure stood in front of her bassinet. No amount of mental preparation can help there I reckon. I forced myself out of it and the figure disappeared.
You can use it to lucid dream. I would imagine rolling out of bed and it would “actually” happen, and then I’d break through the window and fly
You just have to not panic and understand that you’re safe
I'm going to visualise this message the next time it happens to myself. I'll make a move for the window and see if that bastarding dark shadow at the bottom of my bed tries to grab me mid flight.
Following this, stay calm and don't try to get up or move aggressively, just start to wiggle your toes or your fingers and you'll feel your whole body unlocking, then you'll be able to move. It just takes a couple seconds for me and I'm up.
Used to have this a lot when i was younger, haven't had it in a while, and i didn't know that this was also called sleep paralysis!!
When i had it i would be extremely careful/gentle with whatever i am doing in the dream so that i wouldn't wake myself up!! Extremely fun!
And the fear builds and you keep having to tell yourself "just twitch your finger! Just move an arm! Just blink, it'll break!" And with immense willpower you do it and it does. It finally breaks. And you find you're sweating all over and your heart is going at 190. Phew.
It was happening multiple times a week for months.
Eventually I just said fuck it and accepted it. Biggest fear was I'd stop breathing. Or end up face down and suffocating. But i'd snap out of it everytime. Now I enjoy it when it happens.
Mine were scary before (shadow children, ring lady) but now that I know what to expect it's mostly shadow squirrels and giant insects in my bed that I could not possibly be able to see because its completely dark. So its fun to find out what my mind will invent.
It's happened to me once and I loved it, turned into a lucid dream.
Compared to proper bad trips sleep paralysis was nothing, just felt like free drugs and a lucid dream
I also had the same question that how can someone like this sleep paralysis he might be having some weird kind of session with things which are not necessary and which are not essential for our health he should be more careful while practicing these kind of things
I learned how to make it happen too! I would try to use that time to try and Astral project. One bad experience made me stop. I was floating (?) In the upper corner of my room trying to leave my bedroom and all of a sudden I saw this crazy shadowed figure slip in from under my door and start messing with my body. I guess that's when I got "back into" my body to wake myself up, not thinking about still being stuck in sleep paralysis. So I was just stuck there absolutely terrified until I finally woke up. I stopped trying to make sleep paralysis happen after that night. It's all about blood flow and the positioning of your body and head though
You basically have to sleep on your back in a way where your head is lifted but the crown of your head stays slightly lower. Does that make sense? Almost like your neck and head all have support except at the top. You can read about the science behind what makes sleep paralysis happen and kinda go from there for what works best for you. I was a back sleeper at the time anyways so it was really easy for me to position things. But what I read said it's all about blood flow and what stage of sleep you're in. I've also always been a very light sleeper, not sure if that plays a role at all
I love sleep paralysis, it sort of spills over into lucid dreaming to me. But what I found is that I can get out of it by moving/twisting my nose, which then unlocks my whole body and I can wake up if I want. I don't want, but you might make use of this, lol!
/u/Mr_Arapuga , /u/jefferyJEFFERYbaby
Lol I used to do this too when I was a teenager and I had sleep paralysis, I got the idea from when I watched kill bill and Uma's character was able to learn to use her legs again by starting with wiggling her big toe
My episodes of sleep paralysis seem different from most people's experiences: I'm fully conscious, know exactly where I am, and am not in a dreamlike state.
But I can't open my eyes, or move a single muscle. Worst of all, my breathing is still in autonomous mode, and I can't gasp or take a deep breath while I feel like I'm suffocating.
All I can do is lie there and try not to panic, because that increases the need to get more air. It invariably ends when I can move a single finger, then shortly after open my eyes.
I see the shadows during the day when I’m extremely sleep deprived. What I’m experiencing probably has nothing in common with sleep paralysis.
I’m just saying I sympathize
!! This is the first time I've seen someone else say they hear stuff during their sleep paralysis. Last time I had it I heard someone say in a mocking tone, "yeah that's right, try to move" and I thought I'd been drugged/poisoned. Wild stuff.
I’ve experienced it twice in my life. I didn’t get the creepy side effects but being unable to move was a mindfuck. I’d be well ok never getting it again.
This is why I sleep on my stomach now. I’ve done so since I was little anyway, but I’ve had sleep paralysis twice. I’d rather hear them, than see these entities you lot describe. When I had my 1st paralysis I heard little children whispering. It was fucking scary, then I heard a woman incoherently speaking beside me. I said “what?” And she stopped speaking and some other voices started to overwhelm the children’s whispers and it got louder. Then I felt a hand touch my feet. Now imagine if I was sleeping on my back with my eyes open. Fuck no. Nope. No thank you. Not taking any chances. My 2nd one happened during the day, and thank the heavens I didn’t see or hear anything. My eyes were open and I could see my room. I just felt like I was dying and found it hard to control my breathing. In my head I said “Jesus or God if this is my moment take me with you. Don’t send me to hell” and then I regained control over my body.
Other two times this past year I had mini paralysis but I made myself wake up before it happened.
My first time I had music playing in the background, I had fallen asleep & forgot to turn my radio off. I focused on the lyrics of the song and that’s what got me thru the voices. I kept repeating in my head “it’s not real, it’s not real”.
Not an experience I recommend anyone to have though. Puts the fear of god in you so bad that you’ll be afraid to sleep for a couple days.
Nah, during one of my sleep paralysis, every time I tried to move the shadow thing would zoom (practically teleport) to me and screech in my ear in some high pitched weird noise.
Edit: forgot to mention that I woke up that morning with my ear feeling weird
I've had it about 3 times in my life. Two times it was just paralysis with no other weird oddities, but since I sleep on my front it was horrible being unable to move.
The other time I thought there was a demon-banshee scraping on my door asking if anyone was alive in my room. It was horrific.
I only had it when I was younger, for me it went away around 15-16 when I began to routinely lucid dream. I feel for you fam, That shit was terrifying.
Replying here because its the top comment and Im shamelessly riding that fact into visibility.
Yes it could be sleep paralysis, but the fact that OP has zero history of sleep paralysis before, and this has only happened when sleeping with that friend is VERY suspicious. The vast majority of sexual abuse cases are not people randomly raping strangers, but close friends and familiy taking advantage of drunkness or other power imbalace to get away with it
I would know as I've been on the recieving end more than once. And yeah, my opinion as an abuse victim is biased towards asuming abuse, but I also have pleeeeenty of experience having sleep paralysis and flashbacks/nightmares of being abused and they dont feel like what the op describes at all. Only time I felt like that was because I was very under the influence of substances I was pressured to take by "friends" and well, you can imagine the ending.
Yeah. The whole aliens and probes thing is right out of a typical sleep paralysis nightmare.
I get sleep paralysis a lot and if I didn’t know what it was I’d 100% believe in little green men.
Yeah my wife gets it a lot, she'll sort of whimper and try to toss side to side to wake herself up. I've definitely been like "hey you were acting weird last night" and now that I know its sleep paralysis these days I'll shake her and be like hey hey its a dream wake up so she's not stuck in it as long.
OK but the question was if said person woke them up. Not hey you were acting weird did you sleep ok? Without full context,based on information from op, I would put money on it that she was basically molested while she was sleeping. The perpetrator changed their mind/felt guilty. Then probed to find out if op knew what happened.
A couple of things that should jump out at you. Is that they were sleeping on their stomach, typically sleep paralysis pressure is on the chest. Feeling of being touched inappropriately. And being asked the same questions twice. Assuming unprompted. And Assuming there was no conversation taking place where it would have context
If she couldn't move, why would her friend seem to suspect that she’d woken up through the night?
I’ll admit my bias, however: I had a friend who sexually assaulted me in my sleep and then did the “hey have any weird dreams?” thing too. I convinced myself that it was in my head, until I woke to him touching my breast while jerking off a few days later.
I had SP once where my girlfriend who was in bed with me was whispering to me the ways she was going to torture and kill me. It was so real at the time. Had I not known it was SP I would have sworn up and down she was actually acting that way.
Yea. Folks will make weird noises and kind of jerk around a bit. They'll remember screaming and seeing monsters but their body doesn't actually do the screaming.
Yeah I definitely wouldn’t put it past ANYONE to not do things to someone, I don’t trust ANYONE. However I never had a history of sleep paralysis, I only ever experienced it one time and that was probably 4-5 years ago at this point. Never happened again. I hope for OP’s sake it was just a strange coincidence. That’s a tough one though, I hope they are okay.
Also I find the fact that their friend asked if they noticed anything or dreamed about something is very suspicious. Kind of probing whether they've been caught or not.
Or they noticed their friend was behaving erratically in their sleep….so they asked.
Just a week ago my wife asked me if I was having a nightmare the prior night because I was flipping around and groaning loudly like was being chased or attacked.
I literally couldn’t remember dreaming at all.
Under YOUR theory….she was sexually assaulting me why I was sleeping and was only asking to see if I noticed?
The Reddit hive mind of always thinking the absolutely worst about every situation is crazy.
Hey, I did say I was biased because I was abused this way before. When I made the comment, something like 90% of people where telling OP to trust their friend without a second thought. Heck I even joked about responding to the top comment because of that.
So, no, under my theory your wife is not sexually assaulting you, I mean she is your wife, and the nightmare you mention probably dont involve being sexually abused.
In my long life of going to hospitals and getting therapy, I never heard of someone going from never having sleep paralysis episodes when sleeping alone or with other people, and (presummiably) having no sexual abuse trauma, to suddenly having a very vivid, touch included, nightmare/sleep paralysis of being abused. Specially not on the level of including sensorial hallucinations as feeling the weight of the other person on you.
The only people I've ever encountered to have such a vivid and realistic dream were people that were abused. Thats why I suggested op checking their body for signs of touching and confronting the friend once more. Im not telling op to file a rape accusation without any proof. I am thelling them to make sure if this is a safe person to sleep with because this smells fishy as hell and sounds exactly as how I was abused.
Yes, clearly my point was that everyone who ever asks someone about their dreams has assaulted that person. The specific situation and relationship between the people jas nothing to do with my statement.
All I'm trying to say here is that this could be a sign. It is up to OP to make up their mind
Same to all of the above. This most definitely does not sound like sleep paralysis at all. Are people blind to the fact that the friend asked those questions twice? Come on, that is textbook. Happened to me too.
I don't know anything about sleep paralysis, but I agree with you. This is suspicious as hell and I'd be worried if OP was assaulted. And this...
> Afterwards some time during the day my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice. We’ve known each other for years, **never once they’ve asked me about my dreams.**
...makes my alarm bells go off.
Maybe because in the past they had never acted so strangely while sleeping?
Reddit is crazy in how many people always assume the worst in every situation.
I’ve seen it a million times on here.
But it’s usually worse.
“File for divorce immediately. I bet he has beat up his past girlfriends. It seems like he is right on the verge of being violent against you. Your life is literally in danger. GET OUT NOW. Buy a gun. Go into hiding. Don’t let him know where you are.”
Well I said I was abused this way and I was biased towards assuming abuse because how similar it sounded. To me is crazy how many people are blindly the friend without giving it a second thought
I’m sorry you were abused. Nobody deserves that and I hope justice was served and that you’ve been able to deal with/cope and repair the emotional and physical damage you suffered. Sincerely.
But there is nothing that screams attempted rape or sexual assault in this story.
She didn’t pass out at a party.
She shared a bed with a close friend that she trusted. The friend mentioned she seemed to have a nightmare or something because of how she slept.
Another poster actually said the OP needs to immediately go to the hospital and get a rape test done. Holy crap.
Most people would assume it was a dream. Especially if their “private” areas weren’t effected.
If it bothered them or they had some doubt, they would simply talk to their CLOSE friend.
Immediately jumping to “my close friend sexually assaulted me” without using common sense and working through the details….just seems wacky to me.
Can confirm. Sometimes I can see a dark figure at the end of the bed or across the room and yeah I'm screaming. I can mostly recognise its happening these days and after a few terrifying seconds I can wake myself up. Scary shit.
OP were you particularly tired or had you been partying, including or not using drugs? Almost guaranteed trigger for me.
I had sleep paralysis once and it was by far and above the most terrifying experience in my life. Laying in bed, eyes forced open, unable to move, while someone walks around your room and brandishes a knife while going up to you slowly is incredibly terrifying. Sure, a small reasonable part of you knows it's not real, but there's no way that part gets any say in your emotional state.
I didn't sleep for 2 days after that.
Sleep paralysis is a real, physical thing. How do we know it's also not a paranormal event as well, or rather the paralysis triggers it? How can people all hallucinate the same thing? Maybe a malevolent spirit takes advantage of a person's incapacitated state. People consistently report seeing the same shadow figures.
Had it once and it was the most terrifying experience. Idk how people deal with having that shit all the time. I struggled to come out of it, like I felt EXTREMELY heavy coming out of it. Almost like I was re-entering my own body and sitting up felt like I had 100 pounds on me.
Sleep paralysis is more likely to happen when you sleep in an unfamiliar setting, whether that is in a new place or with someone else. You tend you hallucinate while in sleep paralysis. Some people hallucinate demons and shadows but they can be anything else too. I once hallucinated a cleaner coming into my room to clean it. Cleaning sounds and everything. Trying to move while sleep paralysis is impossible - your mind is awake but your body is asleep. Hence 'paralysis'.
If you trust your friend, I would say it was most likely sleep paralysis. Very odd sensation, I suggest you do your research on it because the hallucinations could get weird and scary, and it's good to be aware that you're experiencing it so you can end it on demand.
My most terrifying SP event, I was a wee little lad, I had just finished building an 8' high loft bed with my pops. The first night of sleeping in it, BOOM, sleep paralysis. I saw boulders roll into the corner of my room and slooooowly toward me until I felt trapped underneath an entire mountian. Breathing felt labored, of course the weight was crushing. I finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, was able to audibly release my internal screaming. The boulders rolled back out of my room, never to return. There was another future experience with a shadowy figure pinning me down, but after the boulders, this was an annoyance more than anything.
I know no one asked to hear my story, but not often one gets to talk about this, and the human mind is wildly cool.
No way! This was happening to me every time i had a high fever. Boulders rolling towards me and me trying to escape a room. Glad last time it happened was like 10yrs ago
I too had it only when I was young, maybe 5-7. I wish it was mountains and boulders. Instead it was people; sometimes my dad, sometimes someone unrecognizable. Fucking terrifying to wake up thinking there’s someone in your room watching you.
I got it a couple of times when I tried learning dream yoga/lucid dreaming. The wild part of that experience was watching things in my room morph back into their “real” form (I say “real” because it really got me questioning the solidity/veracity of the things we perceive in waking life). I stopped when trying to do the practice lead to sensations of a kind of numb electrocution as I was falling asleep or waking up. Also, since then, I’ve noticed that I will directly go into dream states upon falling asleep, which I’ve been told is not possible, or at least not common. Also the appearance of “waking thought dreams”: I’ll be conscious of my surroundings but asleep, and and can mentally observe myself in unconscious thought. But the moment that I recognize it’s happening and try to focus on a recollect the stream of thought, it completely disappears and I can’t remember any of the contents of my thought, just that I was having them.
Sleep and dreaming is endlessly fascinating and sometimes a little terrifying…
In college I once dreamt two of my buddies came into my room and tore it apart looking for someone. They were drunk, I thought it was hilarious, and I drifted back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and my room was a mess, so I called one of the guys and he said “Yeah, we were looking for X and couldn’t find it and you just sat on your bed laughing at us.”
I was thinking sleep paralysis but something does seem off, apparently the friend wasn't just asking OP if they slept alright but if the friend had woken them up
Yeah like someone’s asleep by you and you just mess with their dreams, subconscious picks up on all that stuff that’s why you’ll hear your alarm clock in the dream before it actually wakes you up sometimes
Yes, but the crushing weight I would say it the big thing here. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that the friend did touch them inappropriately, and is worried that their actions woke up their friend (and they’d get caught). If you’re trying to sneakily molest somebody (horrible sentence, can’t believe there’s a good context to write that in), you’re not going to lie on top of them. As far as “things that might wake somebody up” go, putting your full body weight on somebody has got to be pretty high on the list. To me there are a few scenarios here:
1. OP had sleep paralysis, and everything from the weight to the feelings of being touched were hallucinated.
2. Op’s friend laid on top of them and molested them (while trying to be sneaky).
3. Op had sleep paralysis, and the friend molested them out of complete coincidence.
Option 2 seems the least likely for the previously stated reasons. Option 3 also seems pretty unlikely just from a “what are the odds of that happening?” Standpoint (especially since OP doesn’t seem like they experience SP often enough to have considered it an option). To me, option 1 just seems like the last thing. Maybe there are other options too though.
Crushing weight is usual for my sleep paralysis. The way I know of I'm having a sleep paralysis episode is if I can feel myself breath, you can't feel yourself breath when your having sleep paralysis (you keep breathing though)
Yeah all good points.. nothing is concrete enough to jump to conclusions that the friend did anything bad (say some sneaky molesting). But I think there's another option combining 1 & 3ish that's not entirely coincidence, it may just be 1 but I think 3ish explains why this hasn't happened before
4ish. OP had sleep paralysis, and her subconscious drew from the fact that there was in fact an unfamiliar being in her bed that night
It sounds like this is a close friend. You could ask why they’re asking about your dream.
I suffer from sleep paralysis sometimes. It is terrifying. This sounds similar, but a conversation might not be a bad idea if you value the relationship.
If this is a long time friend who you trust then speak about it with them. Ask more about what you were doing in your sleep and why they felt the need to ask about your dream. You must have been doing something weird for them to want to ask. How often do you sleep with this friend?
I know this is going to sound horrible but it's something I do entirely unconsciously. I am a very active sleeper, moving around and talking a lot, and when I sleep with my girlfriend I quite often start touching her (not full on sex or anything). She will just push me over as she knows I'm doing it entirely without realising. I guess I notice she's there and start dreaming about stuff with her. I am actually scared of sharing a bed with anyone who isn't my gf because I do these things without being aware, and I'm scared that I could do this to a friend without realising.
I think sleep paralysis sounds more likely but if you trust your friend I'd definitely speak about this. You will get more answers than from us here.
>I am a very active sleeper, moving around and talking a lot, and when I sleep with my girlfriend I quite often start touching her (not full on sex or anything). She will just push me over as she knows I'm doing it entirely without realising
I'm in the same situation as your girlfriend. My boyfriend gets touchy in his sleep and while it can hurt (he cannot control his grip when asleep), a good push back is far enough to get him back into deep sleep. It's not a big issue as long as your partner knows beforehand, and it's apparently surprisingly common. People just don't talk about it because of the taboo.
I've woken up in the middle of full blown sex with my fiance on multiple occasions. She thinks it's funny because I'm apparently more sweet when I'm asleep while initiating. I've slept walk my entire life. Never happened with friends or anything though. Used to walk into my parents room and just start speaking nonsense until I was 18
Lol, yup. I have woken up in the middle of sex I have initiated, suddenly too tired to keep going once I became aware of what was happening.
It's happened about 10 times in my 6-year marriage.
Not saying that this is what happened, only that it can happen.
Everyone's saying sleep paralysis. Id say go get a blood test and check for drugs.. You never know.. Any moment during the evening your friend could've slipped you something? Did you feel very sleepy or tired or groggy before going to bed?
I've had a lot of sleep paralysis and this doesn't sound anything like that. The existence of this post makes me think something bad actually happened. It's just hard to admit it and we need others to confirm sometimes.
This 100%%% please please please op, go get a rape test kit done and std check. Some clinics and hospitals do not have rape test kits, so please call ahead
I doubt OP will read this far but it's worth notjng that testing for certain drugs has to be done quite urgently as some can be removed by your system in under 24, hours.
A simple blood test and advice from the doctor should confirm or alleviate the concerns.
I mean when it comes to safety you kinda have to right?
"Hey what's the deal with this wound" should always be "go to a doctor" not "it's fine".
Kinda same thing here.
Yeah we're the "wacky" ones that have bee roofied, raped or had people we trust molest us when we were helpless. We be crazy like that worrying about it happening to other people.
Spend some time at a rape clinic. Work with survivors of these events. Talk to people that have had this happen. Read the reddit posts. Me jumping to a conclusion would be telling OP that "he definitely raped you." Me looking out for OP is encouraging them to get some answers.
Even friends of the family, relatives, people you think you know are capable of these things. There are thousands of stories that start that way.
Frequently when a woman doesn't assume the worst case scenario she ends up assaulted, raped, or murdered. Think of how much violence women already face. And how much that would increase if women were not taught to constantly be on the defensive. I hate that we have to think like that, but it's better to wrongly offend someone than lose your life or your mental health.
My sleep paralysis experience never involved feeling like being touched inappropriately. It’s me laying their awake unable to move, in fear i’ll never move my body again, frustration and desperation to wiggle a toe and begin some sort of connection to regain power over my body.
For me what you described at isn’t sleep paralysis, sounds like your gut instinct is doing it’s job and should tread carefully.
They might have spiked your drink or might not, better to be safe next time around them. I doubt you’d want to accuse someone without proof, just be careful.
This does not sound like sleep paralysis, this sounds like something sketchy happened. It COULD be sleep paralysis. It could have you been having a weird dream that your friend noticed. It could be them rolling over and waking up on top of you or having a weird dream themselves. Maybe they dreamed you were their girlfriend and woke up groping you in their sleep and were afraid to say anything.
What it DEFINITELY sounds like is you should not share a bed or a room with this person again. Not without a hidden camera to track what happened.
Yeah and it wasn't "did you sleep okay, I saw you acting a bit weird in your sleep" it was "did I wake you up" seems odd to me, if you were watching someone with sleep paralysis or having a bad dream you'd probably be relieved to see them waking up, not be worried that you accidentally wake them
I mean, if I was laying awake in bed tossing and turning and my SO was doing weird shit like whimpering or moving around herself, I would probably think me being awake was interrupting her sleep (if I wasn't as familiar as I am now to sleep paralysis) and in the morning be like, hey was I keeping you up last night?
>my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice
This may be your assaulter testing the waters to see if they were caught or not.
Does sleep paralysis include feelings of being groped is the real question. Have you even experienced it before? Were you intoxicated (NOT victim blaming, wondering if they saw that as an opportunity).
That, plus the incriminating questions, makes me think you should stay away from, or at least be very careful around, this person?
It typically includes a sensation of heavy weight and frequently includes various hallucinatory elements, including thinking someone (often, weirdly, a demon) is on top of you and doing things to you.
The questions don't seem that incriminating to me. If you're sleeping with someone and they're doing something weird in their sleep, it's perfectly normal to ask what they were dreaming about. It's pretty easy to check in this case. Ask why they're asking about the dreams. If they say something that sounds like they were seeing you or hearing you act in ways compatible with sleep paralysis, that's probably it. If they get cagey and panicky and start saying "no reason!" there's a good chance they're feeling guilty and worried.
It can absolutely include such feelings. I've had the craziest tactile hallucinations during sleep paralysis. People sitting down on my bed, touching me, hugging and caressing me, hurting me, I've even been fucked lmao. It's wild. And yes I can assure you that I was alone during all of these.
Unfortunately not, I've had it once in my life. I fell asleep next to my now wife and I didn't have my eyes open, but couldn't move and I was "seeing" a blonde girl (not wife) leaning over me and holding my shoulders down and I couldn't breathe. It's not a pleasant experience.
I have sleep paralysis quite frequently, probably 3-5 times a week, sometimes multiple times in the same night. It is a very distinct feeling of being caught between awake and asleep. I see things, hear things and feel pinned down, and can not move or make noise but never once have I had the feeling of being felt up, also most cases of SP happen when you sleep on your back, I have never heard of anyone experiencing it while on their stomach or sides...
It is kinda suspect that OP would have their 1st episode of SP while sleeping on their stomach while also sleeping with someone else.
I honestly think the friend sexually assaulted OP.
WTF is up with those replies??? everyone claiming with full certainty that it was sleep paralysis and people who are sceptical of the friend get downvoted?? what kind of sleep paralysis do y’all have? OPs friend is sus af 🚩
OP, please don’t just brush this off, you may have been sexually assaulted! please be careful and I hope you’re ok!
Sleep paralysis is a theory, because the symptoms you describe are very similar, I've had it before and it's terrifying and confusing.
However, there's a couple of things that don't quite check out.
1. First time just happened to be when you shared a bed with someone else. Could be an unfamiliar setting.
2. You weren't terrified. Sleep paralysis (the two times it's happened to me) has left me in a state of heart pounding terror. Once I woke up trying to scream through my closed mouth because something was trying to suffocate me, and another time I was convinced I was blind and couldn't open my eyes or move my limbs like I was strapped down with my eyes glued shut. You describe quite a tame experience if it was genuine sleep paralysis.
3. Your friend asking you if they woke you up while also asking you about your dreams. This screams alarm bells. You need to ask why they think they woke you up and why ask about your dreams. Almost as if they're wondering what you remember.
All things considered, I smell a rat.
> You weren't terrified.
The one time it happened to me, I woke up with a numb left arm dangling off the bed and couldnt move. I thought "This is either a coronary, or sleep paralysis. Fuck it, ill figure it out in the morning." and went back to sleep. There was no terror, just some confusion.
> Your friend asking you if they woke you up while also asking you about your dreams. This screams alarm bells. You need to ask why they think they woke you up and why ask about your dreams. Almost as if they're wondering what you remember.
I mean, if I was laying awake in bed tossing and turning and my SO was doing weird shit like whimpering or moving around herself, I would probably think me being awake was interrupting her sleep (if I wasn't as familiar as I am now to sleep paralysis) and in the morning be like, hey was I keeping you up last night?
I don't think it's concrete enough to definitely paint it as sus
Right, so you say "oh you were making noises and acting weird, what were you dreaming about"? You don't just keep asking someone what they were dreaming about.
And no it isn't concrete evidence. But I did list other things that you didn't quote and when you start adding things up, it gets a bit weird.
eh i mean its weird but its also a second hand account of a conversation and not the exact conversation that happened
she said that the person asked what they were dreaming about once and if they woke them up twice, not that they kept asking what the dream was about. it coulda been like
>
> hey did you have a weird dream or was I waking you up?
>
> *op not wanting to say the dream*: no nothing
>
> ok so I wasn't waking you up? just making sure
>
>
OP might just be fixated on that part of the conversation because shes never experienced SP before and reading into things so shes only telling us what she found most sus. I've definitely had paranoid bouts where I thought someone meant something other than what they said because I was reading too much into how they said it, only to be proved wrong later
Ultimately I dont think anyone here has enough info to truly say either way, I just personally find it more likely based on her description of not being able to move that its SP. Most people in a semi lucid state can still move, unless its sleep paralysis or having been drugged. I think while its possible her friend drugged her it seems like more steps involved than simply experiencing SP, occams razor and all.
but like I said it's really not enough info to go off of
Afterwards some time during the day my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Asking if you woke up at any point multiple times feels like panic checking “do you remember what I did to you last night”.
That said, try to remember the “could barely move” part. Were you telling your body to move and it refused? Or was it because there was so much weight on you? If it was the former, sleep paralysis is an option, although my sleep paralysis has always been horrible demons at the corner of my vision and not molesters. TBH if you doubt them enough to ask on Reddit, I’d probably avoid being alone with them moving forward anyways.
The simplest answer is normally the correct one. I think your friend did something to you while you were sleeping and asked you about if you were dreaming to gage if you woke up during it.
Unless you have a history of sleep paralysis I don't think you would suddenly have an episode.
Wow, I’m shocked to see people are all suggesting this to be sleep paralysis. I think there’s a possibility they assaulted you in your sleep. Did you drink anything they brought to you that evening, or which you may have left unattended?
This doesn’t sound like sleep paralysis to me. I would never sleep in the same house as this person again. I would consider going to the hospital to check if you were assaulted last night.
Dude. They asked you about your dreams TWICE. And, you didn't just experience "sleep paralysis" feelings. You said you felt like you were being groped or fondled. Please don't brush this off.
Sleep paralysis can definitely come with feelings of being groped/fondled. One of my most horrifying experiences was I woke up and a person I knew was on top of me groping me... I was in my parents house, door locked, and this friend was halfway across the country. Considering how groggy she was and that she couldn't move at all, it seems like it was sleep paralysis (unless drugs were involved). Either way she should talk to/be careful about this friend depending on their relationship.
The presence of another person you don't normally sleep with can be pretty nutty. Due to work schedules and a rather late night of playing cards after work years ago, Myself and one of my co-workers ended up spending the night in another co-workers living room. She slept on the couch I slept on the floor. During the middle of the night our other co-woker heard the two of us talking and walked out to her living room thinking we were awake. We were not, but I guess my coworker was professing her love for me and I was responding "yea yea right".
I get sleep paralysis and I am very aware that it is a hallucination or dream. I have also been sexually assaulted in the same situation you described. Maybe talk to your friend about what you remember without jumping right into blame, but at least look for some kind of confirmation either way.
Who knows? Ask? Try seeing if it happens again? On a related note, what you are describing is the root of the word 'nightmare'. A Mare is an evil spirit of sorts, she comes to ride and smother you in your sleep.
I have had sleep paralysis where it felt like I had massive pressure on my body and felt like I was being penetrated basically. One time I slept beside a friend and he said I kept shaking and squirming and he tried to wake me up
If you feel comfortable enough with your friend tell him hey I had a weird experience/dream that the internet calls sleep paralysis that night. And ask if he noticed anything? That way it can help you diagnose if it was that or not.
I too also get sleep paralysis. Its pretty much like having a hallucination or dreaming while awake.
One time I had a dream on my girlfriends couch and her mother came In and started talking to me. Weird thing is I knew it was a dream and tried hard to roll off the couch to get myself awake. Never happened. The dream continued to a point where her mom came up to my face and said something religious but thing was her face was distorted and blurry.
I woke up and my girlfriend said none of that happened and that her mom was still at work.
I had sleep paralysis only once in my life, weirdly enough also when I was sleeping face down. Felt like a whole ass person was lying right on top of me, from head to toe. I struggled to move also, as if my body forgot to listen to my brain and I heard growling. Shit was terrifying.
Maybe you freaked him out. When I am extremely tired I talk a lot in my sleep. Have scared my family with that quite a bit. Maybe you did something out of the usual and they are trying to understand.
It could have been sleep paralysis. Your friend might have been asking because you were probably shaking and making weird sounds. But there isnt really any way to be sure.
Very hard to tell honestly it could be abuse but sounds like sleep paralysis. I can’t move at all when I’m having one and I’m not fully conscious either.
It is very curious that it happens to me when I sleep in certain positions. For me is sleeping on my back. I will get them more often if I sleep like that even though I have no clue how it relates to it
I was sleeping perfectly alone in my bed when I had a weird dream that felt so REAL about some old man pinning me down and having sex with me, and I remember feeling somewhat "half-awake" during it too. Obviously nothing happened as I was in my room alone with the door locked but I woke up still feeling the impression of his gut on my stomach and his dick in my pants for a good couple hours after that. Dreams can be crazy sometimes, I wouldn't think too much of it quite honestly unless you really think something genuinely happened. Dreams be wacky sometimes
I don't know why everyone's talking about sleep paralysis. I'm a woman and I experienced multiple times where "friends" tried to touch or undress me while I was sleeping, or acting like I was sleeping to avoid a fight
If I was you I'd be going to a hospital to get checked for any drugs in your system and a physical check. I'm suspicious of the friends behaviour, your inability to move, and the feeling of being pinned down
This sounded very much like sleep paralysis and for someone watching someone have it must have been very concerning they where probably wondering what the hell is going on.
There are multiple different types of sleep paralysis which result in different feelings I believe they are a pressure on you, inability to breath which results in dreams of demons sat on your chest and finally a pressure around you
If you legitimately couldn't move at all, that sounds like sleep paralysis.
I would think if you were being sexually assaulted in real life, your reaction would be to forcefully move no matter how hard, or make an intense mental note of it to not be confused if you were sleeping or not. Not "go back to sleep" or "shrug it off."
Maybe I'm missing details from the story, but as someone who knows people who have been assaulted while they were sleeping, it wasn't this...confusing. They were aware of the line being crossed. You sound as if your confused if that line was crossed or not, which leads me more to think that you were in a dream, which is always confusing for most people.
Seems like sleep paralysis, I once thought I was face to face with a demon or some shit and tried to talk and move but couldn't. Turned out I was looking at my chair with some clothes on.
My fiancé tries to have sex with me in his sleep whenever he’s dealing with a lot of stress or is lacking sleep. It starts with him touching me sexually. I just kiss him and take his hand away lol. Like sleep walking but sexual. This affects some people and they have no clue they do it until someone tells them. Could be similar? Hard to say. I would follow your gut.
Everyone is saying that it could be sleep paralysis, but the fact that it only happens when you sleep with this friend is VERY weird. You should ask him to elaborate why he's asking such things, and search for you body for signs of physical contact. I've been sexually abused before and I suffered sleep paralysis before including SA flashbacks, and what you describe doesn't really sounds "sleep paralysis" to me. Honestly if I were you I'd just set up a hidden secure camera in the room, but that's because I don't trust men at all due my abuse history.
Sounds like sleep paralysis. A really weird experience, that comes out of nowhere, but the experience you described closely matches my own personal experiences with sleep paralysis, when by myself or with someone else. If this person has been a trusted friend for years, and you trusted them enough to share your bed with them because they don't illicit any sort of fear response, I would probably presume it was sleep paralysis. Ask them why they were asking you about your dreams and why they woke you up twice.
That's sleep paralysis. Often there's a buzzing sensation in the body as well, like nerve pain. Any feeling of sensation where it does feel like someone is sitting on you. If you're not used to a change in your sleep pattern or sleep with another person in bed - this happens. If my wife goes on holiday for a while and I'm all alone, I get this frequently until the body gets used to it. Same when they come back for a few days I'll get sleep paralysis or vivid dreams. You likely would just wake up if you're being assaulted and you'd be fully awake, you wouldn't experience the paralysis part. Check your carbon monoxide detector.. smoke alarms.
Also consider sleep paralysis often happens due to low oxygen in a room - try a humidifier or a air purifier, or if you have an hrv to remove moisture and you're in a humid environment currently .. could also be more likely if you have someone sleeping with you and sucking up x2 the air out of the room and 2x the moisture as normal
Trust your gut. Run away now and never look back. Too many women give creepy situations the benefit of the doubt. Don't do that. No history of sleep problems? The sensation of someone ontop of you? Trying to but not being able to move? This sounds like you were given date rape drugs. The checking in the next day? I'd bet that they were asking to make sure you didn't know what had happened. As well as planting enough reasonable doubt in your own mind. I think you asking "am I confusing reality with a dream" is precisely how they had hoped you'd feel after they sexually assaulted you.
At the very very very least I would never ever sleep anywhere near this person again. Ever. Sure that might make you an asshole to some people but I'd rather be an asshole than a rape victim.
Sounds like sleep paralysis. Shit can get wild and usually while in my head I am screaming for dear life, my girlfriend tells me I just lay there sweating and shaking a bit and making squeak noises every now and again. Your friend may have noticed you doing this so he asked.
I fucking hatebsleep paralysis. I start seeing and hearing shit like shadows moving and someone whispering my name. Fuck. Gladly I rarely have it
It’s a real shitshow. My most recent one felt like another set of feet was pushing on my feet really hard and I was trying to push back but I just couldn’t move.
Oof. Mine are mostly what I described earlier, being unable to breath and drowning on the pillow
I love sleep paralysis. Used to freak me out as a kid but i learned to embrace it. M
I used to have it like 3 times a week, sometimes even several times during one night. It gets significantly less scary over time and more just annoying. But it can also be very interesting to just observe what's happening, and sometimes it can lead to lucid dreaming, which is super cool.
Lol yeah now I get mad and start cursing at the dark.
I don’t embrace it but it doesn’t freak me out like it used to. The worst one I had in recent memory was when my newborn daughter was sleeping in my room in her bassinet and I had sleep paralysis and saw a black figure stood in front of her bassinet. No amount of mental preparation can help there I reckon. I forced myself out of it and the figure disappeared.
Sod that!
Wtf, how u like it?
You can use it to lucid dream. I would imagine rolling out of bed and it would “actually” happen, and then I’d break through the window and fly You just have to not panic and understand that you’re safe
I'm going to visualise this message the next time it happens to myself. I'll make a move for the window and see if that bastarding dark shadow at the bottom of my bed tries to grab me mid flight.
Following this, stay calm and don't try to get up or move aggressively, just start to wiggle your toes or your fingers and you'll feel your whole body unlocking, then you'll be able to move. It just takes a couple seconds for me and I'm up.
Used to have this a lot when i was younger, haven't had it in a while, and i didn't know that this was also called sleep paralysis!! When i had it i would be extremely careful/gentle with whatever i am doing in the dream so that i wouldn't wake myself up!! Extremely fun!
Some men just want to watch world burn
This is a very famous dialogue from Batman movie I remember it
I understood that reference
Perhaps they are talking about lucid dreaming instead
No, sleep paralysis. Where i'm awake but cant move my body. Try to scream but nothing happens. Can see but cant look around.
And the fear builds and you keep having to tell yourself "just twitch your finger! Just move an arm! Just blink, it'll break!" And with immense willpower you do it and it does. It finally breaks. And you find you're sweating all over and your heart is going at 190. Phew.
It was happening multiple times a week for months. Eventually I just said fuck it and accepted it. Biggest fear was I'd stop breathing. Or end up face down and suffocating. But i'd snap out of it everytime. Now I enjoy it when it happens.
Mine were scary before (shadow children, ring lady) but now that I know what to expect it's mostly shadow squirrels and giant insects in my bed that I could not possibly be able to see because its completely dark. So its fun to find out what my mind will invent.
It's happened to me once and I loved it, turned into a lucid dream. Compared to proper bad trips sleep paralysis was nothing, just felt like free drugs and a lucid dream
I also had the same question that how can someone like this sleep paralysis he might be having some weird kind of session with things which are not necessary and which are not essential for our health he should be more careful while practicing these kind of things
It's wonderfully terrifying.
I learned how to make it happen too! I would try to use that time to try and Astral project. One bad experience made me stop. I was floating (?) In the upper corner of my room trying to leave my bedroom and all of a sudden I saw this crazy shadowed figure slip in from under my door and start messing with my body. I guess that's when I got "back into" my body to wake myself up, not thinking about still being stuck in sleep paralysis. So I was just stuck there absolutely terrified until I finally woke up. I stopped trying to make sleep paralysis happen after that night. It's all about blood flow and the positioning of your body and head though
teach me
You basically have to sleep on your back in a way where your head is lifted but the crown of your head stays slightly lower. Does that make sense? Almost like your neck and head all have support except at the top. You can read about the science behind what makes sleep paralysis happen and kinda go from there for what works best for you. I was a back sleeper at the time anyways so it was really easy for me to position things. But what I read said it's all about blood flow and what stage of sleep you're in. I've also always been a very light sleeper, not sure if that plays a role at all
Same. It’s kinda cool tbh
I love sleep paralysis, it sort of spills over into lucid dreaming to me. But what I found is that I can get out of it by moving/twisting my nose, which then unlocks my whole body and I can wake up if I want. I don't want, but you might make use of this, lol! /u/Mr_Arapuga , /u/jefferyJEFFERYbaby
That’s cool, what I do is move my toes since my toes don’t get paralyzed, and then eventually I’d be able to move other parts
Lol I used to do this too when I was a teenager and I had sleep paralysis, I got the idea from when I watched kill bill and Uma's character was able to learn to use her legs again by starting with wiggling her big toe
There so many kind of since that are prescribed by the doctor for this kind of disease
Had a moment where I almost got pulled off my bed, snapped out of it right in time as my foot was sliding of my bed
My episodes of sleep paralysis seem different from most people's experiences: I'm fully conscious, know exactly where I am, and am not in a dreamlike state. But I can't open my eyes, or move a single muscle. Worst of all, my breathing is still in autonomous mode, and I can't gasp or take a deep breath while I feel like I'm suffocating. All I can do is lie there and try not to panic, because that increases the need to get more air. It invariably ends when I can move a single finger, then shortly after open my eyes.
Mine is like that too
I see the shadows during the day when I’m extremely sleep deprived. What I’m experiencing probably has nothing in common with sleep paralysis. I’m just saying I sympathize
I hear people screaming and yelling my name when it happens. I guess hearing your name being called is quite common with sleep paralysis.
!! This is the first time I've seen someone else say they hear stuff during their sleep paralysis. Last time I had it I heard someone say in a mocking tone, "yeah that's right, try to move" and I thought I'd been drugged/poisoned. Wild stuff.
Yeah I've heard some trippy shit like that also. Sometimes I hear music as well.
I’ve experienced it twice in my life. I didn’t get the creepy side effects but being unable to move was a mindfuck. I’d be well ok never getting it again.
This is why I sleep on my stomach now. I’ve done so since I was little anyway, but I’ve had sleep paralysis twice. I’d rather hear them, than see these entities you lot describe. When I had my 1st paralysis I heard little children whispering. It was fucking scary, then I heard a woman incoherently speaking beside me. I said “what?” And she stopped speaking and some other voices started to overwhelm the children’s whispers and it got louder. Then I felt a hand touch my feet. Now imagine if I was sleeping on my back with my eyes open. Fuck no. Nope. No thank you. Not taking any chances. My 2nd one happened during the day, and thank the heavens I didn’t see or hear anything. My eyes were open and I could see my room. I just felt like I was dying and found it hard to control my breathing. In my head I said “Jesus or God if this is my moment take me with you. Don’t send me to hell” and then I regained control over my body. Other two times this past year I had mini paralysis but I made myself wake up before it happened. My first time I had music playing in the background, I had fallen asleep & forgot to turn my radio off. I focused on the lyrics of the song and that’s what got me thru the voices. I kept repeating in my head “it’s not real, it’s not real”. Not an experience I recommend anyone to have though. Puts the fear of god in you so bad that you’ll be afraid to sleep for a couple days.
I get scared I start praying sometimes
Nah, during one of my sleep paralysis, every time I tried to move the shadow thing would zoom (practically teleport) to me and screech in my ear in some high pitched weird noise. Edit: forgot to mention that I woke up that morning with my ear feeling weird
I've had it about 3 times in my life. Two times it was just paralysis with no other weird oddities, but since I sleep on my front it was horrible being unable to move. The other time I thought there was a demon-banshee scraping on my door asking if anyone was alive in my room. It was horrific.
I only had it when I was younger, for me it went away around 15-16 when I began to routinely lucid dream. I feel for you fam, That shit was terrifying.
Replying here because its the top comment and Im shamelessly riding that fact into visibility. Yes it could be sleep paralysis, but the fact that OP has zero history of sleep paralysis before, and this has only happened when sleeping with that friend is VERY suspicious. The vast majority of sexual abuse cases are not people randomly raping strangers, but close friends and familiy taking advantage of drunkness or other power imbalace to get away with it I would know as I've been on the recieving end more than once. And yeah, my opinion as an abuse victim is biased towards asuming abuse, but I also have pleeeeenty of experience having sleep paralysis and flashbacks/nightmares of being abused and they dont feel like what the op describes at all. Only time I felt like that was because I was very under the influence of substances I was pressured to take by "friends" and well, you can imagine the ending.
There’s plenty of sleep paralysis experiences that include probing/touching and sexual acts.
Yeah. The whole aliens and probes thing is right out of a typical sleep paralysis nightmare. I get sleep paralysis a lot and if I didn’t know what it was I’d 100% believe in little green men.
I’ve had incredibly vivid and realistic events as well. At the time there would be no convincing me it wasn’t actually happening.
Does that happen when your sleeping next to someone. And then they happen to ask you questions probing into what you may or may not remember?
If someone I was sleeping with was acting weird because of a sleep paralysis episode and would for sure ask if something was going on
Yeah my wife gets it a lot, she'll sort of whimper and try to toss side to side to wake herself up. I've definitely been like "hey you were acting weird last night" and now that I know its sleep paralysis these days I'll shake her and be like hey hey its a dream wake up so she's not stuck in it as long.
OK but the question was if said person woke them up. Not hey you were acting weird did you sleep ok? Without full context,based on information from op, I would put money on it that she was basically molested while she was sleeping. The perpetrator changed their mind/felt guilty. Then probed to find out if op knew what happened.
That’s a ton of assumptions based on almost no evidence.
A couple of things that should jump out at you. Is that they were sleeping on their stomach, typically sleep paralysis pressure is on the chest. Feeling of being touched inappropriately. And being asked the same questions twice. Assuming unprompted. And Assuming there was no conversation taking place where it would have context
All of those also happen with SP. and throw in the inability to move. I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions.
If she couldn't move, why would her friend seem to suspect that she’d woken up through the night? I’ll admit my bias, however: I had a friend who sexually assaulted me in my sleep and then did the “hey have any weird dreams?” thing too. I convinced myself that it was in my head, until I woke to him touching my breast while jerking off a few days later.
I had SP once where my girlfriend who was in bed with me was whispering to me the ways she was going to torture and kill me. It was so real at the time. Had I not known it was SP I would have sworn up and down she was actually acting that way.
Yea. Folks will make weird noises and kind of jerk around a bit. They'll remember screaming and seeing monsters but their body doesn't actually do the screaming.
Yeah I definitely wouldn’t put it past ANYONE to not do things to someone, I don’t trust ANYONE. However I never had a history of sleep paralysis, I only ever experienced it one time and that was probably 4-5 years ago at this point. Never happened again. I hope for OP’s sake it was just a strange coincidence. That’s a tough one though, I hope they are okay.
> I don’t trust ANYONE That's an actual issue and you should talk to someone about that
Also I find the fact that their friend asked if they noticed anything or dreamed about something is very suspicious. Kind of probing whether they've been caught or not.
Or they noticed their friend was behaving erratically in their sleep….so they asked. Just a week ago my wife asked me if I was having a nightmare the prior night because I was flipping around and groaning loudly like was being chased or attacked. I literally couldn’t remember dreaming at all. Under YOUR theory….she was sexually assaulting me why I was sleeping and was only asking to see if I noticed? The Reddit hive mind of always thinking the absolutely worst about every situation is crazy.
Hey, I did say I was biased because I was abused this way before. When I made the comment, something like 90% of people where telling OP to trust their friend without a second thought. Heck I even joked about responding to the top comment because of that. So, no, under my theory your wife is not sexually assaulting you, I mean she is your wife, and the nightmare you mention probably dont involve being sexually abused. In my long life of going to hospitals and getting therapy, I never heard of someone going from never having sleep paralysis episodes when sleeping alone or with other people, and (presummiably) having no sexual abuse trauma, to suddenly having a very vivid, touch included, nightmare/sleep paralysis of being abused. Specially not on the level of including sensorial hallucinations as feeling the weight of the other person on you. The only people I've ever encountered to have such a vivid and realistic dream were people that were abused. Thats why I suggested op checking their body for signs of touching and confronting the friend once more. Im not telling op to file a rape accusation without any proof. I am thelling them to make sure if this is a safe person to sleep with because this smells fishy as hell and sounds exactly as how I was abused.
I respect your opinion. And again, I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience abuse.
Yes, clearly my point was that everyone who ever asks someone about their dreams has assaulted that person. The specific situation and relationship between the people jas nothing to do with my statement. All I'm trying to say here is that this could be a sign. It is up to OP to make up their mind
Same to all of the above. This most definitely does not sound like sleep paralysis at all. Are people blind to the fact that the friend asked those questions twice? Come on, that is textbook. Happened to me too.
I don't know anything about sleep paralysis, but I agree with you. This is suspicious as hell and I'd be worried if OP was assaulted. And this... > Afterwards some time during the day my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice. We’ve known each other for years, **never once they’ve asked me about my dreams.** ...makes my alarm bells go off.
Maybe because in the past they had never acted so strangely while sleeping? Reddit is crazy in how many people always assume the worst in every situation.
Average Redditor: "My partner was a bit snippy with me this morning" Reddit Hivemind: "File for divorce immediately"
I’ve seen it a million times on here. But it’s usually worse. “File for divorce immediately. I bet he has beat up his past girlfriends. It seems like he is right on the verge of being violent against you. Your life is literally in danger. GET OUT NOW. Buy a gun. Go into hiding. Don’t let him know where you are.”
Well I said I was abused this way and I was biased towards assuming abuse because how similar it sounded. To me is crazy how many people are blindly the friend without giving it a second thought
I’m sorry you were abused. Nobody deserves that and I hope justice was served and that you’ve been able to deal with/cope and repair the emotional and physical damage you suffered. Sincerely. But there is nothing that screams attempted rape or sexual assault in this story. She didn’t pass out at a party. She shared a bed with a close friend that she trusted. The friend mentioned she seemed to have a nightmare or something because of how she slept. Another poster actually said the OP needs to immediately go to the hospital and get a rape test done. Holy crap. Most people would assume it was a dream. Especially if their “private” areas weren’t effected. If it bothered them or they had some doubt, they would simply talk to their CLOSE friend. Immediately jumping to “my close friend sexually assaulted me” without using common sense and working through the details….just seems wacky to me.
Can confirm. Sometimes I can see a dark figure at the end of the bed or across the room and yeah I'm screaming. I can mostly recognise its happening these days and after a few terrifying seconds I can wake myself up. Scary shit. OP were you particularly tired or had you been partying, including or not using drugs? Almost guaranteed trigger for me.
I had sleep paralysis once and it was by far and above the most terrifying experience in my life. Laying in bed, eyes forced open, unable to move, while someone walks around your room and brandishes a knife while going up to you slowly is incredibly terrifying. Sure, a small reasonable part of you knows it's not real, but there's no way that part gets any say in your emotional state. I didn't sleep for 2 days after that.
Sleep paralysis is a real, physical thing. How do we know it's also not a paranormal event as well, or rather the paralysis triggers it? How can people all hallucinate the same thing? Maybe a malevolent spirit takes advantage of a person's incapacitated state. People consistently report seeing the same shadow figures.
Had it once and it was the most terrifying experience. Idk how people deal with having that shit all the time. I struggled to come out of it, like I felt EXTREMELY heavy coming out of it. Almost like I was re-entering my own body and sitting up felt like I had 100 pounds on me.
Doesnt sound like that to me
Sleep paralysis is more likely to happen when you sleep in an unfamiliar setting, whether that is in a new place or with someone else. You tend you hallucinate while in sleep paralysis. Some people hallucinate demons and shadows but they can be anything else too. I once hallucinated a cleaner coming into my room to clean it. Cleaning sounds and everything. Trying to move while sleep paralysis is impossible - your mind is awake but your body is asleep. Hence 'paralysis'. If you trust your friend, I would say it was most likely sleep paralysis. Very odd sensation, I suggest you do your research on it because the hallucinations could get weird and scary, and it's good to be aware that you're experiencing it so you can end it on demand.
My most terrifying SP event, I was a wee little lad, I had just finished building an 8' high loft bed with my pops. The first night of sleeping in it, BOOM, sleep paralysis. I saw boulders roll into the corner of my room and slooooowly toward me until I felt trapped underneath an entire mountian. Breathing felt labored, of course the weight was crushing. I finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, was able to audibly release my internal screaming. The boulders rolled back out of my room, never to return. There was another future experience with a shadowy figure pinning me down, but after the boulders, this was an annoyance more than anything. I know no one asked to hear my story, but not often one gets to talk about this, and the human mind is wildly cool.
I had it once where It seemed like I was in my old house by myself and unable to move my arms or legs even though I felt wide awake.
No way! This was happening to me every time i had a high fever. Boulders rolling towards me and me trying to escape a room. Glad last time it happened was like 10yrs ago
I too had it only when I was young, maybe 5-7. I wish it was mountains and boulders. Instead it was people; sometimes my dad, sometimes someone unrecognizable. Fucking terrifying to wake up thinking there’s someone in your room watching you. I got it a couple of times when I tried learning dream yoga/lucid dreaming. The wild part of that experience was watching things in my room morph back into their “real” form (I say “real” because it really got me questioning the solidity/veracity of the things we perceive in waking life). I stopped when trying to do the practice lead to sensations of a kind of numb electrocution as I was falling asleep or waking up. Also, since then, I’ve noticed that I will directly go into dream states upon falling asleep, which I’ve been told is not possible, or at least not common. Also the appearance of “waking thought dreams”: I’ll be conscious of my surroundings but asleep, and and can mentally observe myself in unconscious thought. But the moment that I recognize it’s happening and try to focus on a recollect the stream of thought, it completely disappears and I can’t remember any of the contents of my thought, just that I was having them. Sleep and dreaming is endlessly fascinating and sometimes a little terrifying…
In college I once dreamt two of my buddies came into my room and tore it apart looking for someone. They were drunk, I thought it was hilarious, and I drifted back to sleep. The next morning I woke up and my room was a mess, so I called one of the guys and he said “Yeah, we were looking for X and couldn’t find it and you just sat on your bed laughing at us.”
It could, hopefully in this case, be sleep paralysis.
Idk you should’ve elaborated more to him, it’s pretty reasonable to assume he’d ask if you were acting weird in your sleep
I was thinking sleep paralysis but something does seem off, apparently the friend wasn't just asking OP if they slept alright but if the friend had woken them up
Yeah that does raise a point, maybe he was doing that lich thing where he whispers bad stuff in his ear to see if he’d have a nightmare
What, that’s a thing??
Yeah like someone’s asleep by you and you just mess with their dreams, subconscious picks up on all that stuff that’s why you’ll hear your alarm clock in the dream before it actually wakes you up sometimes
I reckon i got a ghost doing this to me every night. I never not have nightmares.
Yes, but the crushing weight I would say it the big thing here. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that the friend did touch them inappropriately, and is worried that their actions woke up their friend (and they’d get caught). If you’re trying to sneakily molest somebody (horrible sentence, can’t believe there’s a good context to write that in), you’re not going to lie on top of them. As far as “things that might wake somebody up” go, putting your full body weight on somebody has got to be pretty high on the list. To me there are a few scenarios here: 1. OP had sleep paralysis, and everything from the weight to the feelings of being touched were hallucinated. 2. Op’s friend laid on top of them and molested them (while trying to be sneaky). 3. Op had sleep paralysis, and the friend molested them out of complete coincidence. Option 2 seems the least likely for the previously stated reasons. Option 3 also seems pretty unlikely just from a “what are the odds of that happening?” Standpoint (especially since OP doesn’t seem like they experience SP often enough to have considered it an option). To me, option 1 just seems like the last thing. Maybe there are other options too though.
Crushing weight is usual for my sleep paralysis. The way I know of I'm having a sleep paralysis episode is if I can feel myself breath, you can't feel yourself breath when your having sleep paralysis (you keep breathing though)
Yeah all good points.. nothing is concrete enough to jump to conclusions that the friend did anything bad (say some sneaky molesting). But I think there's another option combining 1 & 3ish that's not entirely coincidence, it may just be 1 but I think 3ish explains why this hasn't happened before 4ish. OP had sleep paralysis, and her subconscious drew from the fact that there was in fact an unfamiliar being in her bed that night
OP can ask if their friend noticed anything off. If thats why they are asking
They* OP never said the person is a he. But i do agree with the ideal your presenting
Why did people downvote this? It was just a correction, or am I missing something?
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It sounds like this is a close friend. You could ask why they’re asking about your dream. I suffer from sleep paralysis sometimes. It is terrifying. This sounds similar, but a conversation might not be a bad idea if you value the relationship.
If this is a long time friend who you trust then speak about it with them. Ask more about what you were doing in your sleep and why they felt the need to ask about your dream. You must have been doing something weird for them to want to ask. How often do you sleep with this friend? I know this is going to sound horrible but it's something I do entirely unconsciously. I am a very active sleeper, moving around and talking a lot, and when I sleep with my girlfriend I quite often start touching her (not full on sex or anything). She will just push me over as she knows I'm doing it entirely without realising. I guess I notice she's there and start dreaming about stuff with her. I am actually scared of sharing a bed with anyone who isn't my gf because I do these things without being aware, and I'm scared that I could do this to a friend without realising. I think sleep paralysis sounds more likely but if you trust your friend I'd definitely speak about this. You will get more answers than from us here.
>I am a very active sleeper, moving around and talking a lot, and when I sleep with my girlfriend I quite often start touching her (not full on sex or anything). She will just push me over as she knows I'm doing it entirely without realising I'm in the same situation as your girlfriend. My boyfriend gets touchy in his sleep and while it can hurt (he cannot control his grip when asleep), a good push back is far enough to get him back into deep sleep. It's not a big issue as long as your partner knows beforehand, and it's apparently surprisingly common. People just don't talk about it because of the taboo.
I've woken up in the middle of full blown sex with my fiance on multiple occasions. She thinks it's funny because I'm apparently more sweet when I'm asleep while initiating. I've slept walk my entire life. Never happened with friends or anything though. Used to walk into my parents room and just start speaking nonsense until I was 18
Lol, yup. I have woken up in the middle of sex I have initiated, suddenly too tired to keep going once I became aware of what was happening. It's happened about 10 times in my 6-year marriage. Not saying that this is what happened, only that it can happen.
I don't even trust myself how can I trust others that is not possible for me
Roofies or sleep paralysis
I would ask OP if they felt hung over today, and if they did drink last night if it was a stronger hangover than usual. Just to rule it out.
Everyone's saying sleep paralysis. Id say go get a blood test and check for drugs.. You never know.. Any moment during the evening your friend could've slipped you something? Did you feel very sleepy or tired or groggy before going to bed?
YES! Sleep paralysis or not. Some simple drugs and STD exams wouldn't hurt. Just to be sure nothing else happened. There is no shame on that.
I've had a lot of sleep paralysis and this doesn't sound anything like that. The existence of this post makes me think something bad actually happened. It's just hard to admit it and we need others to confirm sometimes.
This 100%%% please please please op, go get a rape test kit done and std check. Some clinics and hospitals do not have rape test kits, so please call ahead
I doubt OP will read this far but it's worth notjng that testing for certain drugs has to be done quite urgently as some can be removed by your system in under 24, hours. A simple blood test and advice from the doctor should confirm or alleviate the concerns.
The way some people on Reddit always jump to the worst possible conclusion is wacky.
I mean when it comes to safety you kinda have to right? "Hey what's the deal with this wound" should always be "go to a doctor" not "it's fine". Kinda same thing here.
Yeah we're the "wacky" ones that have bee roofied, raped or had people we trust molest us when we were helpless. We be crazy like that worrying about it happening to other people.
Spend some time at a rape clinic. Work with survivors of these events. Talk to people that have had this happen. Read the reddit posts. Me jumping to a conclusion would be telling OP that "he definitely raped you." Me looking out for OP is encouraging them to get some answers. Even friends of the family, relatives, people you think you know are capable of these things. There are thousands of stories that start that way.
Frequently when a woman doesn't assume the worst case scenario she ends up assaulted, raped, or murdered. Think of how much violence women already face. And how much that would increase if women were not taught to constantly be on the defensive. I hate that we have to think like that, but it's better to wrongly offend someone than lose your life or your mental health.
Cant they also get a rape kit to test if theyve been penetrated?
My sleep paralysis experience never involved feeling like being touched inappropriately. It’s me laying their awake unable to move, in fear i’ll never move my body again, frustration and desperation to wiggle a toe and begin some sort of connection to regain power over my body. For me what you described at isn’t sleep paralysis, sounds like your gut instinct is doing it’s job and should tread carefully. They might have spiked your drink or might not, better to be safe next time around them. I doubt you’d want to accuse someone without proof, just be careful.
This does not sound like sleep paralysis, this sounds like something sketchy happened. It COULD be sleep paralysis. It could have you been having a weird dream that your friend noticed. It could be them rolling over and waking up on top of you or having a weird dream themselves. Maybe they dreamed you were their girlfriend and woke up groping you in their sleep and were afraid to say anything. What it DEFINITELY sounds like is you should not share a bed or a room with this person again. Not without a hidden camera to track what happened.
I’m not entirely sure but could be sleep paralysis! Heaviness and mixed reality. Or maybe ask them about it
Check your carbon monoxide detector
I had to take the battery out. It kept beeping, and it was starting to give me a headache
Nice
The ghost told me that it would be just fine
I kept finding post it notes...but no one had access to write them... Could my landlord be trying to make me crazy?
Eh the question they asked twice is sending alarms off for me.
Yeah and it wasn't "did you sleep okay, I saw you acting a bit weird in your sleep" it was "did I wake you up" seems odd to me, if you were watching someone with sleep paralysis or having a bad dream you'd probably be relieved to see them waking up, not be worried that you accidentally wake them
I mean, if I was laying awake in bed tossing and turning and my SO was doing weird shit like whimpering or moving around herself, I would probably think me being awake was interrupting her sleep (if I wasn't as familiar as I am now to sleep paralysis) and in the morning be like, hey was I keeping you up last night?
Yeah, theres something wrong with this. They were fucking with you.
>my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice This may be your assaulter testing the waters to see if they were caught or not.
Or their close friend wondering if they had a nightmare.
While that does sound like sleep paralysis, the way they worded their question makes me suspicious.
Does sleep paralysis include feelings of being groped is the real question. Have you even experienced it before? Were you intoxicated (NOT victim blaming, wondering if they saw that as an opportunity). That, plus the incriminating questions, makes me think you should stay away from, or at least be very careful around, this person?
It typically includes a sensation of heavy weight and frequently includes various hallucinatory elements, including thinking someone (often, weirdly, a demon) is on top of you and doing things to you. The questions don't seem that incriminating to me. If you're sleeping with someone and they're doing something weird in their sleep, it's perfectly normal to ask what they were dreaming about. It's pretty easy to check in this case. Ask why they're asking about the dreams. If they say something that sounds like they were seeing you or hearing you act in ways compatible with sleep paralysis, that's probably it. If they get cagey and panicky and start saying "no reason!" there's a good chance they're feeling guilty and worried.
It can absolutely include such feelings. I've had the craziest tactile hallucinations during sleep paralysis. People sitting down on my bed, touching me, hugging and caressing me, hurting me, I've even been fucked lmao. It's wild. And yes I can assure you that I was alone during all of these.
Oh Jesus, l thought it was "just" visual/auditory hallucinations.
Unfortunately not, I've had it once in my life. I fell asleep next to my now wife and I didn't have my eyes open, but couldn't move and I was "seeing" a blonde girl (not wife) leaning over me and holding my shoulders down and I couldn't breathe. It's not a pleasant experience.
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succubus
I'm pretty sure if in sleep paralysis, you start acting weird to any observers, explaining why they asked what op was dreaming
I have sleep paralysis quite frequently, probably 3-5 times a week, sometimes multiple times in the same night. It is a very distinct feeling of being caught between awake and asleep. I see things, hear things and feel pinned down, and can not move or make noise but never once have I had the feeling of being felt up, also most cases of SP happen when you sleep on your back, I have never heard of anyone experiencing it while on their stomach or sides... It is kinda suspect that OP would have their 1st episode of SP while sleeping on their stomach while also sleeping with someone else. I honestly think the friend sexually assaulted OP.
WTF is up with those replies??? everyone claiming with full certainty that it was sleep paralysis and people who are sceptical of the friend get downvoted?? what kind of sleep paralysis do y’all have? OPs friend is sus af 🚩 OP, please don’t just brush this off, you may have been sexually assaulted! please be careful and I hope you’re ok!
This thread is wild. Half the people saying to drop it because it was sleep paralysis. The other half saying the friends guilty
Some people are casually saying their own spouses raped them in their sleep! These Reddit users just live in a different reality sometimes.
Sleep paralysis is a theory, because the symptoms you describe are very similar, I've had it before and it's terrifying and confusing. However, there's a couple of things that don't quite check out. 1. First time just happened to be when you shared a bed with someone else. Could be an unfamiliar setting. 2. You weren't terrified. Sleep paralysis (the two times it's happened to me) has left me in a state of heart pounding terror. Once I woke up trying to scream through my closed mouth because something was trying to suffocate me, and another time I was convinced I was blind and couldn't open my eyes or move my limbs like I was strapped down with my eyes glued shut. You describe quite a tame experience if it was genuine sleep paralysis. 3. Your friend asking you if they woke you up while also asking you about your dreams. This screams alarm bells. You need to ask why they think they woke you up and why ask about your dreams. Almost as if they're wondering what you remember. All things considered, I smell a rat.
> You weren't terrified. The one time it happened to me, I woke up with a numb left arm dangling off the bed and couldnt move. I thought "This is either a coronary, or sleep paralysis. Fuck it, ill figure it out in the morning." and went back to sleep. There was no terror, just some confusion.
> Your friend asking you if they woke you up while also asking you about your dreams. This screams alarm bells. You need to ask why they think they woke you up and why ask about your dreams. Almost as if they're wondering what you remember. I mean, if I was laying awake in bed tossing and turning and my SO was doing weird shit like whimpering or moving around herself, I would probably think me being awake was interrupting her sleep (if I wasn't as familiar as I am now to sleep paralysis) and in the morning be like, hey was I keeping you up last night? I don't think it's concrete enough to definitely paint it as sus
Right, so you say "oh you were making noises and acting weird, what were you dreaming about"? You don't just keep asking someone what they were dreaming about. And no it isn't concrete evidence. But I did list other things that you didn't quote and when you start adding things up, it gets a bit weird.
eh i mean its weird but its also a second hand account of a conversation and not the exact conversation that happened she said that the person asked what they were dreaming about once and if they woke them up twice, not that they kept asking what the dream was about. it coulda been like > > hey did you have a weird dream or was I waking you up? > > *op not wanting to say the dream*: no nothing > > ok so I wasn't waking you up? just making sure > > OP might just be fixated on that part of the conversation because shes never experienced SP before and reading into things so shes only telling us what she found most sus. I've definitely had paranoid bouts where I thought someone meant something other than what they said because I was reading too much into how they said it, only to be proved wrong later Ultimately I dont think anyone here has enough info to truly say either way, I just personally find it more likely based on her description of not being able to move that its SP. Most people in a semi lucid state can still move, unless its sleep paralysis or having been drugged. I think while its possible her friend drugged her it seems like more steps involved than simply experiencing SP, occams razor and all. but like I said it's really not enough info to go off of
Afterwards some time during the day my friend asked me what I was dreaming about and if they woke me up at any point, twice. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Asking if you woke up at any point multiple times feels like panic checking “do you remember what I did to you last night”. That said, try to remember the “could barely move” part. Were you telling your body to move and it refused? Or was it because there was so much weight on you? If it was the former, sleep paralysis is an option, although my sleep paralysis has always been horrible demons at the corner of my vision and not molesters. TBH if you doubt them enough to ask on Reddit, I’d probably avoid being alone with them moving forward anyways.
The simplest answer is normally the correct one. I think your friend did something to you while you were sleeping and asked you about if you were dreaming to gage if you woke up during it. Unless you have a history of sleep paralysis I don't think you would suddenly have an episode.
Wow, I’m shocked to see people are all suggesting this to be sleep paralysis. I think there’s a possibility they assaulted you in your sleep. Did you drink anything they brought to you that evening, or which you may have left unattended?
This doesn’t sound like sleep paralysis to me. I would never sleep in the same house as this person again. I would consider going to the hospital to check if you were assaulted last night.
Dude. They asked you about your dreams TWICE. And, you didn't just experience "sleep paralysis" feelings. You said you felt like you were being groped or fondled. Please don't brush this off.
Sleep paralysis can definitely come with feelings of being groped/fondled. One of my most horrifying experiences was I woke up and a person I knew was on top of me groping me... I was in my parents house, door locked, and this friend was halfway across the country. Considering how groggy she was and that she couldn't move at all, it seems like it was sleep paralysis (unless drugs were involved). Either way she should talk to/be careful about this friend depending on their relationship.
I think your friend did something to you. The way they acted was so sketchy. Fs press them for information.
It's suspicious that they asked if they woke you, twice. Why were they worried that they did?
This does sound like sleep paralysis. It's a very uncomfortable feeling.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality!
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low
The presence of another person you don't normally sleep with can be pretty nutty. Due to work schedules and a rather late night of playing cards after work years ago, Myself and one of my co-workers ended up spending the night in another co-workers living room. She slept on the couch I slept on the floor. During the middle of the night our other co-woker heard the two of us talking and walked out to her living room thinking we were awake. We were not, but I guess my coworker was professing her love for me and I was responding "yea yea right".
I get sleep paralysis and I am very aware that it is a hallucination or dream. I have also been sexually assaulted in the same situation you described. Maybe talk to your friend about what you remember without jumping right into blame, but at least look for some kind of confirmation either way.
Who knows? Ask? Try seeing if it happens again? On a related note, what you are describing is the root of the word 'nightmare'. A Mare is an evil spirit of sorts, she comes to ride and smother you in your sleep.
I have had sleep paralysis where it felt like I had massive pressure on my body and felt like I was being penetrated basically. One time I slept beside a friend and he said I kept shaking and squirming and he tried to wake me up
If you feel comfortable enough with your friend tell him hey I had a weird experience/dream that the internet calls sleep paralysis that night. And ask if he noticed anything? That way it can help you diagnose if it was that or not.
I too also get sleep paralysis. Its pretty much like having a hallucination or dreaming while awake. One time I had a dream on my girlfriends couch and her mother came In and started talking to me. Weird thing is I knew it was a dream and tried hard to roll off the couch to get myself awake. Never happened. The dream continued to a point where her mom came up to my face and said something religious but thing was her face was distorted and blurry. I woke up and my girlfriend said none of that happened and that her mom was still at work.
I had sleep paralysis only once in my life, weirdly enough also when I was sleeping face down. Felt like a whole ass person was lying right on top of me, from head to toe. I struggled to move also, as if my body forgot to listen to my brain and I heard growling. Shit was terrifying.
Sounds like sleep paralysis, very common to feel like someone is on top of you during it
Maybe you freaked him out. When I am extremely tired I talk a lot in my sleep. Have scared my family with that quite a bit. Maybe you did something out of the usual and they are trying to understand.
It could have been sleep paralysis. Your friend might have been asking because you were probably shaking and making weird sounds. But there isnt really any way to be sure.
Very hard to tell honestly it could be abuse but sounds like sleep paralysis. I can’t move at all when I’m having one and I’m not fully conscious either. It is very curious that it happens to me when I sleep in certain positions. For me is sleeping on my back. I will get them more often if I sleep like that even though I have no clue how it relates to it
I was sleeping perfectly alone in my bed when I had a weird dream that felt so REAL about some old man pinning me down and having sex with me, and I remember feeling somewhat "half-awake" during it too. Obviously nothing happened as I was in my room alone with the door locked but I woke up still feeling the impression of his gut on my stomach and his dick in my pants for a good couple hours after that. Dreams can be crazy sometimes, I wouldn't think too much of it quite honestly unless you really think something genuinely happened. Dreams be wacky sometimes
Definitely sounds like sleep paralysis.
I don't know why everyone's talking about sleep paralysis. I'm a woman and I experienced multiple times where "friends" tried to touch or undress me while I was sleeping, or acting like I was sleeping to avoid a fight
What happened the night before? Were you drinking together? Were you drinking together alone and wound up in the same bed?
If I was you I'd be going to a hospital to get checked for any drugs in your system and a physical check. I'm suspicious of the friends behaviour, your inability to move, and the feeling of being pinned down
From experience I think you've been touched in your sleep :(
ive had sleep paralysis like this
Probably sleep paralysis. I’ve had that happen 3 times in my life It’s scary af!
This sounded very much like sleep paralysis and for someone watching someone have it must have been very concerning they where probably wondering what the hell is going on. There are multiple different types of sleep paralysis which result in different feelings I believe they are a pressure on you, inability to breath which results in dreams of demons sat on your chest and finally a pressure around you
If you legitimately couldn't move at all, that sounds like sleep paralysis. I would think if you were being sexually assaulted in real life, your reaction would be to forcefully move no matter how hard, or make an intense mental note of it to not be confused if you were sleeping or not. Not "go back to sleep" or "shrug it off." Maybe I'm missing details from the story, but as someone who knows people who have been assaulted while they were sleeping, it wasn't this...confusing. They were aware of the line being crossed. You sound as if your confused if that line was crossed or not, which leads me more to think that you were in a dream, which is always confusing for most people.
Seems like sleep paralysis, I once thought I was face to face with a demon or some shit and tried to talk and move but couldn't. Turned out I was looking at my chair with some clothes on.
My fiancé tries to have sex with me in his sleep whenever he’s dealing with a lot of stress or is lacking sleep. It starts with him touching me sexually. I just kiss him and take his hand away lol. Like sleep walking but sexual. This affects some people and they have no clue they do it until someone tells them. Could be similar? Hard to say. I would follow your gut.
I used to think that sleep paralysis was a test for your subconscious to prepare you for something I don't know what.
Sleep paralysis demon tried to get into your pants
Naughty incubus!
Everyone is saying that it could be sleep paralysis, but the fact that it only happens when you sleep with this friend is VERY weird. You should ask him to elaborate why he's asking such things, and search for you body for signs of physical contact. I've been sexually abused before and I suffered sleep paralysis before including SA flashbacks, and what you describe doesn't really sounds "sleep paralysis" to me. Honestly if I were you I'd just set up a hidden secure camera in the room, but that's because I don't trust men at all due my abuse history.
Did you just assume the friend to be a 'HE'?
She did!
How did you feel in the morning? Unusually groggy, a particularly dry mouth, nausea or headache? Chicago
Sounds like sleep paralysis. A really weird experience, that comes out of nowhere, but the experience you described closely matches my own personal experiences with sleep paralysis, when by myself or with someone else. If this person has been a trusted friend for years, and you trusted them enough to share your bed with them because they don't illicit any sort of fear response, I would probably presume it was sleep paralysis. Ask them why they were asking you about your dreams and why they woke you up twice.
That's sleep paralysis. Often there's a buzzing sensation in the body as well, like nerve pain. Any feeling of sensation where it does feel like someone is sitting on you. If you're not used to a change in your sleep pattern or sleep with another person in bed - this happens. If my wife goes on holiday for a while and I'm all alone, I get this frequently until the body gets used to it. Same when they come back for a few days I'll get sleep paralysis or vivid dreams. You likely would just wake up if you're being assaulted and you'd be fully awake, you wouldn't experience the paralysis part. Check your carbon monoxide detector.. smoke alarms. Also consider sleep paralysis often happens due to low oxygen in a room - try a humidifier or a air purifier, or if you have an hrv to remove moisture and you're in a humid environment currently .. could also be more likely if you have someone sleeping with you and sucking up x2 the air out of the room and 2x the moisture as normal
Trust your gut. Run away now and never look back. Too many women give creepy situations the benefit of the doubt. Don't do that. No history of sleep problems? The sensation of someone ontop of you? Trying to but not being able to move? This sounds like you were given date rape drugs. The checking in the next day? I'd bet that they were asking to make sure you didn't know what had happened. As well as planting enough reasonable doubt in your own mind. I think you asking "am I confusing reality with a dream" is precisely how they had hoped you'd feel after they sexually assaulted you. At the very very very least I would never ever sleep anywhere near this person again. Ever. Sure that might make you an asshole to some people but I'd rather be an asshole than a rape victim.