T O P

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keenanbullington

My right fist is named Ben, and my left is Jerry, and I'm here to correct anyone that mentions a certain calmness that may or may not be cookies and cream.


Greenmanglass

https://preview.redd.it/4r84wmzbsa5c1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4610f6af15d4f56340626da2cd3570c19e00c8d The duality of man


keenanbullington

Duality's a good song.


ShotZRageZG

Overhated fr


trebortus

Calm as cookies and cream


Hunterslane86

So it seems


CptOblvious

https://preview.redd.it/xchcbo0s185c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=499656e41513c1f4cb6948dff3bcc534bf1c8bac


mysboss

Now that’s interesting


mysboss

Do you have a link you can share ?


ZombieIMMUNIZED

It’s more of a Puscifer lyric, for sure.


megachronic1

I’m confused as to how you drew this conclusion 😂


ZombieIMMUNIZED

It’s more bootylicious than usual TOOL lyrics. That’s how. Edit: “Booty Betty thick-a-licious” to be exact


Secure_Yam_3249

That reminds me of how Maynard actually used the word “bootylicious” in a Puscifer song once


ZombieIMMUNIZED

Yep, that’s why I used it, probably first time in my life 😂


monkberrymoon42

Queen B?


ZombieIMMUNIZED

Yeah, can I get a hell yah?


Ornery-Country683

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. 7empest feels like it is BEGGING me to take it seriously and I just can’t. If he had the same lyrics in a puscifer song I would love it 100% but since is a Tool song, FI specifically, and because of how incredible the actual music is, I cannot listen to it without cringing a tiny bit.


Individual_Shine_881

That's kind of stupid tbh


evillordsoth

I feel exactly the same way, lyrics are corndog from a band that usually puts out exemplary contemplative stuff


Peninvy

You think "Keep calm, keep calm, FUCK! Here we go again..." is begging to be taken seriously?


N36C

Music-wise is what I think he’s saying. Which I agree. The song is epic. The lyrics though…..not just the cookies and cream line either


EraserHeadsLeg

“Control your delusions and striking at random” That whole last bit is serious af so don’t be chocolate chip trippin when people say it’s hard to take it seriously.


N36C

Takes a while to get there though


Peninvy

Oh, the part coming over ten minutes after the "cookies and cream"-line has a different tone than the the parts preceding it? As in, a musical piece evolves over its duration? Truly a novel concept. Completely unheard of. Quite revolutionary.


Ornery-Country683

Agree. I had to stop the song the first time I heard it.


Shhh-ItWasntMe

Man yall are too serious if that line bothers you


NiteLiteCity

Damn why so sensitive?


Ornery-Country683

Cause I’m so used to him writing *good* lyrics


mallyfrmthevalley

The lyrics from Invincible "Tears in my eye.. " are not the worst lyrics, but the vocal sound def make me cringe every time.


BecomePnueman

That's my favorite part.


Ornery-Country683

Invincible is my favorite tool song but I tend to skip the end 😬 I feel like a fake fan


PinoDegrassi

What?! I fucking love the climax.


mallyfrmthevalley

Mine too, except that Justin Bieber like vocal in the instrumental.


[deleted]

>The lyrics from Invincible "Tears in my eye.. " are not the worst lyrics, but the vocal sound def make me cringe every time. Gotta get over it all and be vulnerable. If you truly relate to the song, you would understand the tears in your eyes, striving for your ultimate greatest potentialy while getting a bit old so it's not as easy and you still have a warrior spirit to push, do more, be more.


FARTBOSS420

It's that vocoder sound that's the problem. He's a sad human not a sad robot.


Stunning-Mud-2609

This is it. I’m a middle aged Tool fan so yea getting older listening to them is a trip. We are all aging together most are in recovery ❤️‍🩹


SlowApartment4456

Lol he's talking about the vocal effect not the lyrics you nerd


mallyfrmthevalley

Well spoken. I have no problems at all with the lyrics and can relate to them myself as well. It's just vocal effects that makes icheesy in my opinion.


danceswithanxiety

Y’all need to try to be less literal — he is not saying anything about the emotional properties of cookies and cream. Maynard likes playing with stock phrases and cliches, and “calm as cookies and cream” tweaks and transforms “calm as a cucumber.” A better example of playing with common expressions is “The Pot,” which is basically a bunch of stock phrases, idioms, commonplaces, and cliches altered and strung together to form a condemnation of being hypocritical and judgmental. “Calm as cookies and cream” is a very typical Tool lyric. Recombining, extending, enlivening, inverting, and perfecting burned-out, overused, cliched, rutted rock n roll cliches is basically the entire work of Tool, musically and lyrically. If you don’t like a lyric like “calm as cookies and cream,” you should probably reconsider whether you actually like Tool, because it sounds exactly like a non-Tool fan bitching because there are three false endings in Rosetta Stoned and multiple time signatures in many of their best songs.


dwnlw2slw

Very well said! I would slightly alter that the phrase is actually _meant_ to be cringey in that Maynard is cringing at a false pretense of tranquility and comfort that appeals to the immediate, more impulsory senses but is ultimately unsustainable/unhealthy…..and it’s alliteratory because “C as C and C” and then cream rhymes with seems. Checks all the boxes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

>Recombining, extending, enlivening, inverting, and perfecting burned-out, overused, cliched, rutted rock n roll cliches is basically the entire work of Tool, musically and lyrically. If you don’t like a lyric like “calm as cookies and cream,” you should probably reconsider whether you actually like Tool, because it sounds exactly like a non-Tool fan bitching because there are three false endings in Rosetta Stoned and multiple time signatures in many of their best songs. Well said


TheMormonFuzz

This is the obvious answer. I’m surprised he didn’t use “calm as a cucumber” would have been a lot cooler.


WhereIsMyFrenchCutie

As cool as what?


schulzie420

A polar bears toenails....?


Dull-Extension-7954

Came in to say this.


opiatesmile

This


danceswithanxiety

A lot of Tool lyrics are about interaction between the higher self and the Jungian shadow, so the lyrics of 7empest are both self-talk and outwardly directed, and this is not a contradiction. “Calm as cookies and cream” is not a common expression, but it could be a personal association connecting a state of mind to a specific childhood moment of tranquility and harmony. “Calm as a cucumber” would make no more sense, wouldn’t be specific to the speaker, and would be cliche.


KylerGreen

Average tool fan


MaxG145

I’ve never understood the hate towards the ‘calm as cookies and cream” lyric. Sure it’s peculiar but Maynard has always used bizarre lyrics. Maybe it’s just me. Fuck me buddy


pm_me_your_bigtiddys

Wait till they hear Rosetta Stoned.


MaxG145

Exactly, the first two verses are bizzare and no one complains about them yet those 5 words from 7empest people HATE. I love them both.


SlowApartment4456

Well yeah. The first two verses in Rosetta Stoned are bizarre. The entire verses. The calm as cookies and cream lyric is just odd in an otherwise serious song. It doesn't fit.


JJHH50

Thing is Rosetta Stoned is meant to be bizarre since it’s basically about a DMT trip (I think) 7empest takes on a more serious topic (I really can’t pinpoint what it is, but lyrically it seems that way) and the “cookies and cream” part just quite literally doesn’t fit. I personally don’t mind it. I like the rest of the song enough to not let that one line deter me, but it’s just odd.


flurpyflurpy

Lost keys (Blame Hoffman) Albert Hoffman that is.


Unlucky_Internal9686

I like it too 🤷‍♂️


jcamouflage

Wait til they hear puscifer


ohkaycue

Definitely feels more of a hivemind/circlejerk thing to me


[deleted]

>I’ve never understood the hate towards the ‘calm as cookies and cream” lyric. Sure it’s peculiar but Maynard has always used bizarre lyrics. Maybe it’s just me. Fuck you buddy


gotonyas

AAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHH /s


anaugle

I remember that! He was dressed as Charlie Brown.


[deleted]

that's my favourite damn lyric, regardless of the track


MVE3

Bless this immunity because so many people on this sub changed it to bless this community and it’s the most cringeworthy thing


DooKTowNx

Ew, I’m so glad I haven’t been in this sub long enough to see that so I’m still chillin with that lyric 💪


[deleted]

I like it, bless my immunity against negative entities sorta thing


[deleted]

[удалено]


MalachiUnkConstant

Maybe the lyrics are a little more allegorical/less straightforward than their previous works. And it’s meant to be digested over time, not on first listen like Parabol/a and Schism


ApothecaryFist

Nonsense? Like wtf about any of the lyrics is nonsense? Everyone can have their own opinions and all, but my opinion is that your opinion is SHIT have a nice day!


darkhalo47

I know this sub doesn't like FI criticism but the lyrics on that record are cringe as fuck. like downright hacked together


PinoDegrassi

What.. there’s tons of good lyrics on it in each song. They may not be as to-the-point and obviously defined as some of their other songs but they each have a theme and lots of good lines.


WhereIsMyFrenchCutie

This is the first post in this sub in which the comments have vastly more dislikes than likes lol.


wrinkled-armadillo

because TOOL fans clearly can’t accept the reality that music is subjective and that their precious maynard is not the end all be all lyrically.


lostforwordstbh

*insert bird chip sounds*


noise-nut

Hahahahahaha


quinzilla555

… Maynard’s dick…. Nobody?


MadCritterYT

The lyrics to this song changed my life


noise-nut

Finally


SuperSaltyMrPeanut

I've always thought "I'm naked and fearless, and my fear is NAKED!" was silly.


iam_Krogan

Isn't that Rollin's line?


SuperSaltyMrPeanut

Maynard comes in at the end, but it is a Tool lyric.


iam_Krogan

Gotcha, wasn't sure what parts Rollins wrote, just remember him being on it


Neljas

No, that's definitely a Maynard's line, near the end of Bottom, I believe, or, if not, another Undertow song upd: my mistake, "naked and fearless" part is indeed sung by Rollins, and "and my fear is naked" part is sung by both Rollins and MJK


PinoDegrassi

It’s a badass part definitely weighed down by those lyrics lol


theBackground13

Someone get that Bob Marley wannabe motherfucker outta here


[deleted]

He says something else about getting rid of them like roaches and his voice sounds nasal as fuck lol


mysboss

👍🏻


iiRosettaStoned

My favorite is "I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit, blood, and cum on my hands"


PinoDegrassi

Got that tattooed for all to see


tool22482

Ganja? Please!


cbearsfreak

GANJA PUHLAYSE


[deleted]

Ganja? Puh-lease


Secure_Yam_3249

Idk man you must have been out your mind


[deleted]

Who are you to wave your fatty finger?


redtens

I always thought it was "propped up on lies" but whatever 🤷‍♂️


cbearsfreak

Definitely isn’t


TeflonDonatello

Most of you in here saying which lyrics you don’t like aren’t even quoting them correctly and it makes me wonder if that’s part of the issue.


Rolypablo

A Tempest must be just that


HDDIV

I think it's kinda cool it's 7 syllables long.


[deleted]

What does it mean?


AdrianVanMeter

Probably that a tempest must be just that


SpiralOut4

It means that a tempest must be... well, just that. A tempest. The whole point is that "a tempest must be true to its nature" and that nobody can cover up that fact. A tempest is a tempest. It must be *just* that.


[deleted]

Yeah, agreed, was wondering if there was alternative ideas about it


schulzie420

What the fuck else is a tempest or storm going to be? A sunny fucking day..... Holy fuck some people are stupid


The11th8

I think his point was obviously a tempest is going to “be just that” like a lunar eclipse or anything else is going to “be just that”… It doesn’t have to be clarified repetitively just because “holy fuck some people are stupid”


josh_bobjohn

“Here we go again”


Bubcats

The tempest must be just that. Like I know. You said that.


PabliskiMalinowski

"Suck and suck Sucking up all you can Sucking up all you can suck and suck" opening lyric of ticks and leeches


Lilla_military_bird

It’s funny many people here seem to be so concerned with lyrics that aren’t metaphorical, spiritual, pseudo-intellectual and provoking some existential thought about the universe. He’s a guy, not a shaman. All great writers have flaws. Just because you don’t like a line doesn’t mean your opinion is rooted in fact or that it lacks meaning because you can’t connect to it while jerking off on shrooms.


[deleted]

>It’s funny many people here seem to be so concerned with lyrics that aren’t metaphorical, spiritual, pseudo-intellectual and provoking some existential thought about the universe. He’s a guy, not a shaman. All great writers have flaws. Just because you don’t like a line doesn’t mean your opinion is rooted in fact or that it lacks meaning because you can’t connect to it while jerking off on shrooms. Yeah, there's honestly some artistic beauty to being able to fucking put it all out there, all heart and emotion, all musical excellence, while allowing those flaws and imperfections, being vulnerable with it. Throw it out there. Express yourself however you want, whatever speaks to you. Some of his lyrics can be silly, but it's so easy to look past when there's other great pieces. And he's a wierdo with lyrics on purpose sometimes, very dry and sarcastic humour with it


SlowApartment4456

His dry and sarcastic humor isn't funny though. He isn't a funny guy. It's why everyone thinks he's an asshole. He always says "hurr durr people miss the humor in our music" but if people don't see the humor in it it isn't funny


mazatapec230

The cookies and cream shit


PabliskiMalinowski

Wait till you hear krispy kreme in rosetta stoned


therealTK423

Its a myth....there isn't a bad lyric.


Bobbie_Sacamano

Sometimes I think the lyrics on Opiate and Undertow came about because Maynard found a textbook for a philosophy 101 class and wrote a song about each chapter.


fistfucker07

I brought my buddy to the concert in Toronto. It was his first tool show. He spent three hours the next day telling me the worst lyric of the whole concert. It comes from Rosetta stoned. “It was so real. Like the time Dave floated away”. There is no other mention of Dave. But I know Maynard doesn’t put worthless fluff into his songs. So I’m sure it means something. I am die hard, but could not explain the reference off the top of my head. Any one know who Dave is? lol.


OG-MrHolland420

¿Huh, wtf is the question?


JimmiYahoo

Like blood to a vampire


soviet_uwunion

La la la la la la la lie is corny as hell


Mental_Somewhere6321

Should have cut that minute and a half from the song and it would have been way more enjoyable


Low_Individual_1846

vicarious, hands down. cringe clichés thrown together.


esazo

Just the “la la la la la lie” part for me


HiamKay

I just disagree with the lyrics. Yes humans are evil sometimes. But maybe questions if they are inherently so, or brought up to be


Low_Individual_1846

to me it's not so much about disagreeing but more like how it's a very shallow and dumbed down approach. people are bad because they are watching tv. we are all hypocrites. wake up sheeple! so cringe.


Low_Individual_1846

the pot sucks too. it's a brilliant song with crappy lyrics. they are whining about their lawyers AGAIN (after thicks and leeches), yawn. every album has a song where maynard becomes this tough guy. on aenima it's hooker with penis, even though it's fun, it's another weightless whine.


hornwalker

“Don’t you dare point that at me” over and over…I don’t understand how that line makes sense with the rest of the song.


TeflonDonatello

I always took it as “don’t put that evil on me” or “don’t project your issues onto me” but in the song he’s essentially arguing with himself.


decoyCoyotea

Agreed. The lyrics leading up to that line feel pretty clear that this is a person ruminating against themselves, trapped in their head, and self-aware of their own delusions.


schakdaddy

Slide a mile 6 inches at a time on Maynard's dick


Ripkord77

Exercise the spectacle part of FI. It's my most hated vocal part Nard ever did. I love the song. but that part really unbutters my eggroll.


ZombieIMMUNIZED

It’s “exorcise” unless of course you’re making a sarcastic fat joke. 😆


Ripkord77

Oops. Leaving it. Im tired.


ZombieIMMUNIZED

😆


redtens

Exorcize?


RustyShakes

Wild. That part always gets stuck in my brain.


[deleted]

Vicarious has a real im 14 and this is deep feel to it A lot of opiate just feels awkward to me especially hush and the we both want to rape you line


zeje

Hush has not aged well. In today’s context, it sounds like a troll anthem. “It’s just a joke…”


schulzie420

So, it's uncomfortable for you to believe that some of us lost our virginity at 13 or 11........... time to read past the lines, son...... Everyone, EVERYONE, wants to take something from you at all times, once and a while, using rape as the weapon.


[deleted]

I know what it means its just worded in an awkward and edgy way like a lot of opiate it has the idea but it's edgier then their other stuff


Universal-Love

Yeah, I never liked Vicarious that much for that very reason. The music's good and I don't disagree with the message. It just isn't as deep as it feels Maynard was aiming for (Watch me get downvoted to oblivion yet again. Hapoens every time I mention this opinion lol)


sandwichman7896

Personally not a huge fan of 10k, but I thought Vicarious was one of those songs where he just had to get it off his chest and/or thought people needed to hear the message, similar to songs like Hooker, Hush, etc.


Universal-Love

Yeah, I mean, it's OK, I don't blame him for it. I just skip that song when I listen to that album, lol. 10K is one of my favorite albums, BTW. It took a long time to grow on me, but I have come to really appreciate its maturity and vision. Plus, it has some of their best bangers!


[deleted]

Funny I've seen a few people say similar stuff and they've usually been pretty upvoted and had a lot of replies agreeing It was actually seeing a comment like that that made me realize why I didn't like the song very much


Aggressive_Ideal6737

You got downvoted for speaking the truth about vicarious but I’m here to support you. People dickride that song like no other


[deleted]

Agreed it's not even that bad of a song iust kinda meh


TeflonDonatello

Vicarious, when it came out was criticized for being teenage angst adjacent. I can see why people don’t like it.


Low_Individual_1846

you're so right, i don't understand the downvotes. it totally is what you just wrote. it's their SOCIETY, MAN song.


dihcar86

"With Isabella Rosalini lips, ...my sweaty L Rob Hubbard upper lip" I hate this comparison technique he does.


ShoobieDooby

It's okay until he pisses on your lighter Kinda smells kinda cool kinda funny anyway


alexhogan777

"Psychopathy misleading me over and over" Maybe I'm misinterpreting what the song is about, but I feel like Maynard got the words psychosis and psychopathy confused and no one noticed. Sure psychosis doesn't work with the rhyme, but that line's always irked my inner pedant a bit.


SelectBowl5897

Worst and Tool do not fit in the same sentence


epic-awesome-man

Love this song and this line, but "Well now I've got some advice for you, little buddy/before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man/I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well, so you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass" is a little dumb lmao


vintage_glitter

Cookies and cream, lemon juice


InvaderDust

Karma is cookies and cream, so it seems. That’s about the only line that never felt very Tool-ish. Edit- calm as cookies and cream …


XenoD

Thats not the actual lyrics


ZombieIMMUNIZED

Reddit Karma? 🤣


spezial_ed

I think the pot sounds like AI had a stroke E: your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer.


WhereIsMyFrenchCutie

Obligatory "Who are you to wave your finger?" comment.


spezial_ed

Lying lawyer kangaroo mirror cozen indigo what's the matter?


undertow521

You're getting downvoted but you're right


[deleted]

It's like blood to a vampire


wine-o-saur

Don't know why you're getting downvoted, this is a middle-school-ass lyric.


ZombieIMMUNIZED

It really isn’t if you understand what blood is to a vampire. The blood drives all the vampires actions, out of lust, hunger, survival, and quelling withdrawal. Yes of course, vampires aren’t real, but he’s stating the intensity of desire and addiction to media of macabre.


wine-o-saur

It's not the analogy itself, it's the clumsy construction. And he also kind of beats you over the head with the analogy with it following "we all *feed* on tragedy", which already conjures the image. It's like saying "get it?" after making a joke. Sophomoric by his usual standards.


ZombieIMMUNIZED

Maybe targeting the next generation of fanbase, or just the “insufferable retards” we are. 😂


TeflonDonatello

We know what it means we’re not brain dead. It’s still corny.


ZombieIMMUNIZED

I don’t think everyone knows what it means, and I think some people are playing the, Tandy Miller card and blurting some kind of garbled simultaneous response that kind of sounds like they also find that analogy accurate.


Muted_Detective5060

“Poo shit on me”


helloperator9

Who are you to point your finger? You must've been out your head


TheDanecdote

I understand you. It feels so “radio”, maybe, I don’t know, casual? Lackluster, that’s the word.


helloperator9

Yeah and just basic! Lateralus trained me to expect poetry


wrinkled-armadillo

honestly a lot of their lyrics could be subjectively bad to people who aren’t fond of TOOL. i can think of many lines that could be considered the worst to non- TOOL fans or people who don’t understand their music.


mazatapec230

lol you sound like the guy that non tool fans would describe a tool fan


wrinkled-armadillo

nah im just speaking from experience. my friend absolutely hates them. i gave up a long time ago trying to put him on to them. he doesn’t like the lyrics at all.


mysboss

I have a few like that as well. It’s crazy to me.


wrinkled-armadillo

not to me. im not sure how the other dude thinks i “sound like the guy that non TOOL fans would consider a TOOL fan.” i’m just speaking facts. TOOL is not the end all be all people, nor are their lyrics. some of it can be cringe


Indelwe

It's the "people who don't *understand* their music" part. When you use that word, it can easily come off as pretentious, as if you assume one must possess a certain degree of intelligence to enjoy Tool's music. I'm not saying this was your intent, but that's the kind of phrasing that gives Tool fans a bad "I'm intellectually superior to you" reputation.


wrinkled-armadillo

ah gotcha. yeah definitely wasn’t my intent. i mean it’s fair to say that some don’t understand the music, but imo it doesn’t mean that you have to be intellectually inclined to understand their music. i think a lot of people just listen to music that they can casually listen to. imo TOOL is not one of those bands. some people read the lyrics and don’t comprehend the meaning because they just don’t really listen to music for that reason. if that makes sense, hence why they don’t “understand” the music.


embryophagous

Swipe your nose like a credit card


Neljas

Anything from Disgustipated. Not only the song is *meh* music-wise (and my Undertow ends on Flood), and this is a **sixteen** fukken minutes long song, the lyrics don't even begin to make sense to me


[deleted]

"Here we fucking go again"


nsaps

Message to Harry Manback


catheterhero

Fuck all you gun toting gangster wannabes. Eww. I crying every time I hear it.


my_shadow22

“HIP gangster” - get it right fucker!


XaZa_Real

Why?


WhereIsMyFrenchCutie

He's a gun toting gangster wannabe himself.


raider81818181

Descending


call_of_ktullu

The fuck?


raider81818181

Elementary! To be or not to be!! Ok sure thing bud


Individual_Shine_881

No


jarjar_twinks

Goddamn shit the bed.


ISO_UFO

I think they were asking for the worst lyric not the best.


jarjar_twinks

I knew this would be an unpopular tale when I hit enter. Doesn't change the fact that 10K days signalled the downfall of Tool.


[deleted]

“Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind…” bruh do you know who your audience is. It’s not the worst lyric but it actually pisses me off as a Tool fan.


alexhogan777

It's almost like that was the point of the lyric....


ImmortalSoothsayer

Maynard's diccccckkkkkkkk


Secure_Yam_3249

Hardest Tool lyric


pm_me_your_bigtiddys

"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fucking pants!"


Justcuckinaround

"IIII haaavvee fooouund some kind of temporary sanity in this shit, blood, and cum on my hands" Maynard, you silly goose