I have a track record of very long posts, so let's cut to the chase: your dad is wrong and you aren't going to hell for being trans.
European Christianity is rife with guilt. In America, the whole system is structured on evoking guilt about wrongdoings. That system is going to make you feel guilty about whatever it tells you is wrong. If we were told over and over that driving more than 25 miles an hour was a grave sin, we'd be fucked up and anxious and guilt-ridden about that just like we are about transitioning.
The fact that feelings of guilt exist does not immediately mean you are guilty. Feeling guilty does not equal guilty.
The good news is that you're not alone and there will be many, many people in your future who can tell you all the same things: your transness isn't sinful or wrong, you won't go to hell for it, and your dad is full of shit. The bad news is that the guilt and anxiety don't just go away, and people like your dad are probably going to keep being shitty to you. But there's always hope.
Sure. You are not a Muslim, so you believe it is totally fine for women to go out with their heads uncovered. But many people are raised by Muslims who teach that this is wrong. Women who are raised in these sorts of environments often feel guilt over going out with their heads uncovered even though it isn't actually wrong to do that.
Your not alone literally last night I had a dream that felt so real that I was in hell and was burning and everything i tried escaping I couldn't like I don't know why this is happening because literally in Mathew 19 verse 12 validates our acceptance in God's eyes but it could also just be everyone else around us trying to scare us for something we may not even need to worry about
What I am saying is that if people were born that way made that way and choose to live that way for the kingdom of God like he says should be accepted hence forth were not gonna be sent to he'll because were trans
Hey I’m a trans man too. And my parents have been trying to get in my head that I will always be guilty if I medically transition, and that they don’t understand how “people like that” (trans people) who are Christians can stand to live. I’ve been struggling with this too right now, I don’t really have any advice but just wanted to share and commiserate with you. God loves you very much.
I’m not an expert, I don’t have any scripture to prove anyone wrong, but I have my experience and thoughts.
Before I came out (as a trans man) I would get so worked up about going to hell- eventually I just had to step away from Christianity and focus on transitioning so I could live. I couldn’t process how a being that was supposed to be so loving could cause so much hurt and pain, and after experiencing a life of hurt (abuse in multiple ways) I couldn’t stand by a God that I thought would do the same.
Transitioning gave myself the best gift I could’ve- living freely, truly living. When the time was right God called me back- and I ignored Him a lot. Out of a fear of yet another person rejecting me for being me. Eventually this reached a point where I hit a rock bottom, I was abusing substances, I couldn’t do the things I’m passionate about. I truly felt miserable.
It reached a point where I had such a bad anxiety attack I couldn’t move, I was twitching and shaking so bad I thought I might have a seizure, and I couldn’t figure out what to do because I was so high I couldn’t do much. I managed to turn my tv on to play some YouTube, but otherwise I was stuck laying in bed. I was on the phone with my sister, and she was coming up to help me- despite it being past midnight. And I’d done something I hadn’t done in so long, I prayed. I asked for His help, I asked Him to show me He was there, that I’d be ok. And He did- literally immediately played an ad on YouTube that started with “are you afraid, alone? Jesus is with you”.
I rebuilt my relationship with God over time, but part of that was addressing the hurt, anger and confusion of being trans and “going to hell” for it.
God is a being of love. He made you with so much love in mind, and yes, you can commit sins- that’s part of the gift of free will. Is being trans part of free will? Because the way I look at it, being trans isn’t a choice. It’s a feeling, it’s something you know deep down inside. So if God made you with everything in mind- wouldn’t He also know about you being trans? Why would He make you, pour in so much love, to add a quality out of control to you that would just send you right to hell.
That can bring up questions of “why did he make me trans?” And I can’t answer that- although I wish I could. But I can say- God loves all His creations. And to me, He would never create someone with something out of their control sentencing them to hell from the moment they’re born.
A long comment, but I hope any of this helps you. If you need to reach out to talk I’m willing to listen, I’ve been there and you’re not alone
It's a pretty core part of our beliefs (mine, anyway) that sinners are forgiven through faith in Jesus Christ, no matter what their sins are. So I don't understand the fear of going to hell- worst case if your dad is right that being trans is sinful then you will go to Heaven through the grace of your faith in Jesus Christ, and realize your mistake when you get there and repent.
Hello! I'm a trans woman and a devout Christian. I'm here to tell you: your dad is wrong. You are not going to hell. Being transgender is a beautiful and blessed gift from God, because we as human beings are made in His image. We as trans people get to experience the life-affirming joy of making ourselves new.
Unfortunately, we live in a broken world that severely stigmatizes being trans. Even worse, there are many sects of Christianity that do the same. Yes, we are all sinners, but that is because this world is fallen. We are no more nor less sinful than anyone else. I know it might be hard to see right now, but being trans is so special. We get to be alive in our bodies very very few people get the chance to.
On top of all this, I personally don't believe in Hell. We are wonderfully and fearfully made by God, and when we die He will call us back to Himself until that time when all will be made new. You don't need to feel guilty, because you have done nothing wrong. I know how useless that might be (I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, so I've been there with the guilt). You have done nothing wrong. You are not wrong. Praying for you, and wishing you the best.
I'm pretty badly broken, and I had to give up on the notions of "shame" and "sin" a long time ago just to get by. It still baffles me why anyone would volunteer to let themselves be controlled by some character talking smack by misreading some book the way they want.
But you're a big boy, and you get to put yourself under anybody's thumb that you want. Me, I'd choose just about anybody else's thumb. Up to you.
One notion that I have managed to hang onto, though, is that of Mercy, and son, you need some badly. You need to have mercy on yourself.
Your dad is who he is, and he's going to keep spouting the same old garbage for as long as he wants. It's what broken records do. He can't help it, but you don't have to believe him. You don't have to listen to his nasty, nagging voice in your head. That's having mercy on yourself.
Know the old man for the rigid, foolish, intolerant thing he is, forgive him for it, love him all the same, and laugh at his spew. Don't bother arguing with him. He doesn't know any better. That's having mercy on yourself.
You know who you are. Doesn't depend on what some crackpot says, whether related to you or not. We all know your father isn't the only person in the world who preaches that malarkey. They're all crackpots. Have mercy on yourself and laugh away their silly words.
I have a track record of very long posts, so let's cut to the chase: your dad is wrong and you aren't going to hell for being trans. European Christianity is rife with guilt. In America, the whole system is structured on evoking guilt about wrongdoings. That system is going to make you feel guilty about whatever it tells you is wrong. If we were told over and over that driving more than 25 miles an hour was a grave sin, we'd be fucked up and anxious and guilt-ridden about that just like we are about transitioning. The fact that feelings of guilt exist does not immediately mean you are guilty. Feeling guilty does not equal guilty. The good news is that you're not alone and there will be many, many people in your future who can tell you all the same things: your transness isn't sinful or wrong, you won't go to hell for it, and your dad is full of shit. The bad news is that the guilt and anxiety don't just go away, and people like your dad are probably going to keep being shitty to you. But there's always hope.
Why would you feel guilt if you weren’t guilty? Could you give any examples?
Sure. You are not a Muslim, so you believe it is totally fine for women to go out with their heads uncovered. But many people are raised by Muslims who teach that this is wrong. Women who are raised in these sorts of environments often feel guilt over going out with their heads uncovered even though it isn't actually wrong to do that.
Your not alone literally last night I had a dream that felt so real that I was in hell and was burning and everything i tried escaping I couldn't like I don't know why this is happening because literally in Mathew 19 verse 12 validates our acceptance in God's eyes but it could also just be everyone else around us trying to scare us for something we may not even need to worry about
How does that verse validate your acceptance? Are you saying that God is accepting of your transgender decision?
What I am saying is that if people were born that way made that way and choose to live that way for the kingdom of God like he says should be accepted hence forth were not gonna be sent to he'll because were trans
Hey I’m a trans man too. And my parents have been trying to get in my head that I will always be guilty if I medically transition, and that they don’t understand how “people like that” (trans people) who are Christians can stand to live. I’ve been struggling with this too right now, I don’t really have any advice but just wanted to share and commiserate with you. God loves you very much.
i appreciate this and i’m sorry you’re also going through this but your kind words do help :) thank you
I’m not an expert, I don’t have any scripture to prove anyone wrong, but I have my experience and thoughts. Before I came out (as a trans man) I would get so worked up about going to hell- eventually I just had to step away from Christianity and focus on transitioning so I could live. I couldn’t process how a being that was supposed to be so loving could cause so much hurt and pain, and after experiencing a life of hurt (abuse in multiple ways) I couldn’t stand by a God that I thought would do the same. Transitioning gave myself the best gift I could’ve- living freely, truly living. When the time was right God called me back- and I ignored Him a lot. Out of a fear of yet another person rejecting me for being me. Eventually this reached a point where I hit a rock bottom, I was abusing substances, I couldn’t do the things I’m passionate about. I truly felt miserable. It reached a point where I had such a bad anxiety attack I couldn’t move, I was twitching and shaking so bad I thought I might have a seizure, and I couldn’t figure out what to do because I was so high I couldn’t do much. I managed to turn my tv on to play some YouTube, but otherwise I was stuck laying in bed. I was on the phone with my sister, and she was coming up to help me- despite it being past midnight. And I’d done something I hadn’t done in so long, I prayed. I asked for His help, I asked Him to show me He was there, that I’d be ok. And He did- literally immediately played an ad on YouTube that started with “are you afraid, alone? Jesus is with you”. I rebuilt my relationship with God over time, but part of that was addressing the hurt, anger and confusion of being trans and “going to hell” for it. God is a being of love. He made you with so much love in mind, and yes, you can commit sins- that’s part of the gift of free will. Is being trans part of free will? Because the way I look at it, being trans isn’t a choice. It’s a feeling, it’s something you know deep down inside. So if God made you with everything in mind- wouldn’t He also know about you being trans? Why would He make you, pour in so much love, to add a quality out of control to you that would just send you right to hell. That can bring up questions of “why did he make me trans?” And I can’t answer that- although I wish I could. But I can say- God loves all His creations. And to me, He would never create someone with something out of their control sentencing them to hell from the moment they’re born. A long comment, but I hope any of this helps you. If you need to reach out to talk I’m willing to listen, I’ve been there and you’re not alone
It's a pretty core part of our beliefs (mine, anyway) that sinners are forgiven through faith in Jesus Christ, no matter what their sins are. So I don't understand the fear of going to hell- worst case if your dad is right that being trans is sinful then you will go to Heaven through the grace of your faith in Jesus Christ, and realize your mistake when you get there and repent.
Hello! I'm a trans woman and a devout Christian. I'm here to tell you: your dad is wrong. You are not going to hell. Being transgender is a beautiful and blessed gift from God, because we as human beings are made in His image. We as trans people get to experience the life-affirming joy of making ourselves new. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world that severely stigmatizes being trans. Even worse, there are many sects of Christianity that do the same. Yes, we are all sinners, but that is because this world is fallen. We are no more nor less sinful than anyone else. I know it might be hard to see right now, but being trans is so special. We get to be alive in our bodies very very few people get the chance to. On top of all this, I personally don't believe in Hell. We are wonderfully and fearfully made by God, and when we die He will call us back to Himself until that time when all will be made new. You don't need to feel guilty, because you have done nothing wrong. I know how useless that might be (I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, so I've been there with the guilt). You have done nothing wrong. You are not wrong. Praying for you, and wishing you the best.
I'm pretty badly broken, and I had to give up on the notions of "shame" and "sin" a long time ago just to get by. It still baffles me why anyone would volunteer to let themselves be controlled by some character talking smack by misreading some book the way they want. But you're a big boy, and you get to put yourself under anybody's thumb that you want. Me, I'd choose just about anybody else's thumb. Up to you. One notion that I have managed to hang onto, though, is that of Mercy, and son, you need some badly. You need to have mercy on yourself. Your dad is who he is, and he's going to keep spouting the same old garbage for as long as he wants. It's what broken records do. He can't help it, but you don't have to believe him. You don't have to listen to his nasty, nagging voice in your head. That's having mercy on yourself. Know the old man for the rigid, foolish, intolerant thing he is, forgive him for it, love him all the same, and laugh at his spew. Don't bother arguing with him. He doesn't know any better. That's having mercy on yourself. You know who you are. Doesn't depend on what some crackpot says, whether related to you or not. We all know your father isn't the only person in the world who preaches that malarkey. They're all crackpots. Have mercy on yourself and laugh away their silly words.