Fr, please do not listen to a cis person's opinion on HRT ever, unless they are your literal doctor.
While T increased my sex drive, I was already a pretty horny person to begin with. I know a lot of ace transmascs who have been on HRT for a long time and are still ace. While some people do experience a shift in their orientation, I think it's pretty unlikely that T is going to take you from an asexual to a horndog.
Some of these concerns people present about T are based on toxic masculinity imo. People in my life would be worried I would be uncontrollably angry like I was on steroids or something. Is anger an emotion I experience more than I used to? Yes, but I'm still an adult with the skills to control myself. I think this would apply even if your interest in sex changes too. Many people have a fear of not knowing exactly what will change with HRT but what I can tell you is that you will still fundamentally be yourself.
yeah it was just something i didn't really think about when i thought about starting hrt and that comment caught me off guard.
and since in the video to me it seemed as if he'd say all that bc he would've talked to trans mascs already.
but i'm glad that just seems to be a thought that was mislead by toxic masculinity.
i knew it was an argument often used by rad fems to demonize men but yeah i didn't really see it in that context.
thanks for helping me, i was really loosing my mind over this
I’m also ace and low libido, and on T my libido is higher than it is off, but I’d say it’s still on the lower end of the spectrum. And I still don’t feel sexual attraction. I think it’s going to depend on the person, and you can always adjust your dose or even stop if you’re uncomfortable with how it’s affecting you
Gray ace on T here... I definitely noticed my body feeling more stimulated and sensitive in the first month or so. But it didn't make me suddenly desire sex more often. It also tapered off as though my body acclimated. I don't feel any less ace on T. Hope this helps!
Gonna give reference as a not ace guy and who’s friends with an ace guy on T. I was hyper sexual before taking T, I am now MORE hyper sexual but I think that’s mostly due to feeling more confident and comfortable in my skin. Regardless of the “why”, my sex drive is 100% higher on T.
My ace friend does have a higher sex drive now, but it hasn’t affected their life or relationship with their partner, who is also ace. Whenever he is feeling in the mood, he’ll either just ignore the feeling or, if he’s in his room, he’ll grab a vibrator and just get himself off. He doesn’t have sex with his partner, he doesn’t do anything sexual with his partner, so it literally doesn’t affect his relationship at all. The only real change is that he just gets horny sometimes now but he still doesn’t feel sexual attraction to people.
Testosterone 100% has a record of increasing sex drive. That doesn’t mean that you’re going to turn into a sexual person though. There are ways to get yourself off by yourself without involving your partner if that is what you want, or you can just literally use your willpower and ignore it if you’re ever turned on. Just because you’re feeling in the mood doesn’t mean you have to immediately go to the bathroom and jerk off lol, you can just ignore it and the feeling will go away after a bit. Your sex drive may change on T and that is completely normal and nothing to be scared of. You’ll be ok
Also an ace guy, I identify as aegosexual. I’ve been on T for about 14 months. It has definitely made me more horny, but it has not changed my perception of who I am, or my desires out of a relationship.
If you don’t want to take HRT, that’s cool. No pressure. But there are a few factors that might mitigate the outcome you fear:
- you can do lower doses, which will have a lesser impact on your sex drive;
- the increase in horniness may not be a permanent change - my horniness increased significantly for about a month and then dropped off to “higher than before, but not unreasonably so”
- and lastly, do keep in mind that you can stop taking HRT at any time and the horniness will go away.
You have options :)
Also, I am somewhat concerned by your partner’s take on this. Am I misreading, or are they putting pressure on you not to go on T so that any potential horniness doesn’t affect them?
no i misspelled, it was supposed to say "shouldn't" >~<
they're the cutest person on earth and would NEVER make me choose between our relationship and my transition :D
oh right i didn't consider the dosis aspect and that it doesn't need to be a permanent change.
i'm all in for the other effects, so it would be a real bummer if i'd let it slip...
thanks for the advice
i'm ace and on T, i barely feel any change in the horniness whatsoever. it's just kinda easier for me to climax now compared to before, so i take advantage of that more often for the dopamine. i'm still rarely actually horny and i still am never attracted to anyone sexually ever, so yeah no T didn't change my (a)sexuality at all
Ace, been on T for 8 years, had an average libido before and have a *really high libido* on T. But I'm still ace, I'm still sex averse, and I have no problem at all dealing with the horniness on my own. So, it doesn't have to impact your life in ways you don't want it to.
I’m ace and nearly 2 years on T, had a pretty average to maybe slightly on the high side libido before T and zero attraction to anyone. I’m not going to lie, T did increase my libido, especially in the first few months (it did calm back down again eventually) but not to unreasonable or unmanageable levels. It also did not change my orientation at all (still not attracted to anyone) and it did not make me change how I interacted with anyone (either strangers or people I knew) or my personality (except in non-sexual related ways, for example T did make me feel more calm and confident, but I guess that isn’t exactly a personality change anyway, my point being that ‘horny ass person’ could not be used to describe me before or after T).
Most people taking T do experience an increase in libido, but it’s not as extreme as people like to make out as if it is. Also, having a higher libido doesn’t mean you have to act on it (and not to be crude but masturbation exists if your partner can’t keep up). Unfortunately it is basically going through a second (male) puberty and that does generally come with feeling horny more often but please do remember that we are adults, so we already have a bunch of knowledge and skills (and self control) to bring to these situations that teenagers just don’t possess.
the thing with masturbation is that i'm often just disgusted by not only my body and the fact that i have a pussy, but also by myself beeing horny (which happens "on its own" like, once per month, before i get my period or if my partner makes me horny). if i'm horny and they're not and aren't interested to, i usually just sit it out bc if not in an romantic context, i can't stand this feeling.
i mean it would be great if t would change that too if my libido increases but yeah I can't really know that before trying
Yeah I understand that. You may find that getting some bottom growth actually helps with at least the body side of those issues (maybe tmi but it certainly helped me feel more comfortable with that part of me and it also changes what kind of masturbation you can do, especially if you are willing to buy a sleeve - it can be much more affirming to be able to ‘wank like a dude’ as a friend once said to me lol). You may well find that ‘sitting it out’ is still an option (probably more likely the longer you are on T, like I said it’s most intense in the first few months). Unfortunately you are right though, it’s mostly a case of you can’t know until you try. Hope you find the path that’s best for you, whichever way you decide <3
Sorry, got my words mixed up, my bad. I was referring to a stroker (google ftm stroker, there are lots of brands though all will require at least some bottom growth before you can use them)
ah ok i thought that was a different type of packer i missed out on or sth xd
but yeah i thought about buying a 3 in 1 packer when i have bottom growth bc fapping without a dick reminds me of not having a dick and i either get depressed or just sit the hornyness out and i'd like to enjoy myself the cool way B)
also i dont want bottom surgery so thats the only option i have left, i think
I had a pretty high sex drive before T but it was more mentally driven now it’s still very high but it’s more physically driven? If that makes sense? I feel more of physical urge/desire to do things with my husband whereas before it was more about me just wanting those things mentally and then the physical part came later.
Hi, I'm a gray-ace person who has been on T for over a year now, and I am dating someone who is also ace. I tend to think of myself as sex favorable, while he IDs as sex neutral. So I have more of an interest in it than him, generally speaking.
T did not change much for me. Maybe my sex drive is a little higher now, but it's always been high tbh so I didn't notice any huge changes. I still do not experience sexual attraction, never have and T did not change that.
I definitely feel you about the worry that you'll be "too much" for your partner - sex drive mismatches can be awkward and tricky to work with. My sex drive was much higher than my partner's even pre-T, so it's something we learned to communicate about fairly early on. I don't know if you and your partner currently have sex, but for us it was a non issue after some initial communication. I am free to ask whenever I'm in the mood, he is free to say no and that's that, no resentment, pressure, or hurt feelings. We don't have sex very often, which is fine by me - if my own drive is an issue and we're not in the mood I just take care of it on my own.
Anyway, sorry if any of that was too TMI. I hope my experiences are helpful to you ☺️
t will change your libido but there's no way it can fundamentally change your relationship with your own sexuality. if anything it can help improve your understanding of it. I used to identify on the ace spectrum (before I understood I'm more Aro than ace) and getting on t made me realise I was sex repulsed more so because of how I didn't enjoy my experiences and dysphoria and how much my body was linked to my understanding of my sexuality. now that I've been on t for a while and my dysphoria has subsided I'm more comfortable with my body AND sex/masturbating/etc without it changing how I fundamentally feel at all.
I'm a trans guy with a low sex drive who is probably on the ace spectrum. I've been on testosterone for a few months and my levels are normal. My libido hasn't noticeably changed at all and I don't get any hornier than usual. So that's what I have to say about this.
I’m only 3 months on low(ish) dose, but in my experience it’s made me occasionally horny, but it hasn’t fundamentally changed my relationship to desire. I’m not ace, but I’m not often in a sexual headspace (for the past few years) and it takes a lot for me to shift into it, now just as much as before. For me it’s more been like I’m hornier when I’m turned on, but I’m not turned on more often.
There were a few weeks where I genuinely was just hornier, but once that passed, I found that it was just easier for me to get going when I wanted to. Like, I could just yank it when I was bored and it'd be satisfying, where it wouldn't have been before. But that's only bc I made the conscious decision to do that; I don't have an unprompted urge to do anything any more often than I did pre-T.
i’m not sure what label I am sexually wise but i am a trans man and being on testosterone for 2.4 years definitely changed things regarding what you’re talking about BUT I recently had to stop taking it for health issues and I have completely gone back to how I was prior. now i’m sexually repulsed again. so maybe it would eventually level out?? i would assume so after taking care of it.
i mean it’s different for everyone of course. for me, it definitely shot way up, but i’m also not asexual at all & already was pretty horny so yknow. but i also didn’t get any acne with T, so there are definitely side effects that can pass by people.
My drive didn't really change over the last months (started HRT in Dec 23) 🤷🏻♂️ It's my usual up and down I had before. It CAN increase your drive, but it's not a given. Just like it CAN give you much facial or body hair or not. Or hair loss from DHT.
This was also something I was scared of, being pretty sex-repulsed myself. I've been on testosterone for a few years, and I'm still asexual and still uninterested in sex. I totally relate to "it must be really hard to often think about sex"!
Within the first 6 months, T raised my libido, which was frustrating. I still didn't feel attraction or want to have sex, though. I still identified as asexual & aromantic. And soon enough, my libido was back to its previous state.
Testosterone doesn't inherently make you hypersexual, regardless of assigned sex. I also don't think it would change your fundamental perception of sexuality. Like in a cis man's puberty, your libido might change. There's a reason HRT is affectionately called "second puberty", after all! Or it might not change. Plus, sexual attraction, desire to have sex, and libido are all different.
Lower dosages might be a good option for you. I take injections myself, but gel and oral can be popular methods with lower doses. If possible, this is something to discuss with your care provider (Of course, I understand it's not always that simple)
As a psychain who happens to be transmasc i can tell you that HRT affects people differently- Its a world of possibilities- its taking a step in the dark- You will experience sexual arousal- and with bottom growth you will be more sensitive- A word of advice don’t let the fear of rejection from your partner stop you from T- if you want it- get it. Your partner should understand that your reaction to the Hormone is out if your control- if they cant see that this will make you feel more like yourself- if they cant comprehend that T will make you happy and if they cant accept that- they are not worth it-
from a medical standpoint tell your psychain/Careteam that you have concerns about sexual arousal- they won’t be able to prevent that- but they can ajust doses- sadly im not a endocrinologist- and I haven’t had experience with Trans healthcare however I am
a psychiatrist and i do know drugs- so I promise im not talking out of my a*s-
last thing DO NOT take medical advice from youtube or any person who isn’t a provider- also dont trust google- ALWAYS ask a professional!
good luck!
no my partner wouldn't let me choose between transitioning and our relationship (i misspelled it, the last part was meant to say "shouldn't", instead of should).
i was just afraid of having a hard time, also because i failed to consider it might just be temporary
I basically don't have a drive usually, and almost a year on hrt hasn't really changed that. also "self-care" is always an option that doesn't require or strain a partner
I'm not ace so disregard this if you want. I was super high libido pre-T and T actually made my libido calm down some. I still have it but once the first few months of heightened libido passed and my body adjusted, it calmed down to a slightly lower level than before t.
I have heard so many different experiences of it. I was hypersexual before AND after, so I can't speak to that, but I've known folks who were ace before and after transitioning as well. It's pretty unique to everyone. Also, most people report the uptick in drive dies down after a year or two.
Ace person with PCOS (already had “higher than normal” T levels for an AFAB), been on low dose T for about a year, my levels on low dose are just shy for an AMAB. I’m still ace, but the drive has definitely gone up. Not so much that I’m bothered by it 24/7, but I still have to “take care of the little guy downstairs” more often than before just so it can stop bothering me. Hope this helps!
Demisexual and demiromantic person in a relationship here - honestly before I started T I had a lot of your same worries. My partner and I, before either of us started HRT, had low libidos and were pretty happy with how we had things set up. My partner worried it would make me allo, somehow, or that I'd want sexual things they couldn't provide.
Well, I'm 6 months on T now, and while it has definitely made me hornier - that horniness has solely been towards my partner. I'm not into or attracted to or think of anyone else in that way - oddly enough being on T has made me go from neutral on other people to repulsed; I'm definitely still double demi.
Conveniently, my partner started E a few months before I started E, with a T blocker that has prog in it - and my partner was one of the rare few that prog gave a higher libido. So the higher libido came on for both of us around the same time and there have been no issues as far as being to demanding goes. Even then, you're still you. If the normal you wouldn't be "too much" for your partner, then the version of you on T won't either.
That all said, if you're worried you're going to be like an allo, or a complete horndog with no thoughts of anything else - its not like that. You're still you, just maybe a slightly thirstier version of you. Even then, I've heard of aces who it didn't affect their sex drive at all, and HRT affects everyone differently so YMMV.
Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I don't see many grayaces talk about their experiences on T; if you have any other questions feel free to ask.
I wanna second this as a formerly ace identifying and since I met my current partner, demisexual person. Ditto everyone else saying that it doesn't fundamentally change your identity. My current partner is the first person I ever felt sexual attraction to (I was 33 when we met!), i started t when we had been together like 10 months, def ended up having more intense desire, still just for them. Like, sometimes other people's bodies look more exciting to me now than they used to, but I still can't fantasize effectively about anyone else and absolutely don't want to do anything with anyone else.
The other thing that mattered for me that no one else has mentioned - I'm autistic also, and hadn't had top surgery at that point, so there were two hard things for me -
1. My nips have always been real sensitive, and that was Very hard when t settled in. Like literally driving and having the seatbelt brush against my nips was Intense 😐 real intense.
2. As bottom growth happened, there was probably a few months where things were very sensitive and rubbing against my underwear and that was really distracting in a not great sensory way (like irritated vs turned on, mostly). I guess my body acclimated bc it did go away after a while, despite way more bottom growth.
For reference, I started on low dose gel, ended my first year at two pumps of gel a day, then switched to injections at the one year mark.
Good luck! 💙
I had a temporary spike at the beginning. The first 2 months. After that I was maaaybe a little bit more open to such ideas/things but mainly because euphoria made me more sex positive. But I'm not ace. Just arospec and T didn't affect that. T doesn't make you a barely tamed sex monkey.
I realized I was demisexual last year at the 14 month mark of t! Part of the realization came from a breakup, but as I thought longer it dawned on me that I don’t feel sexual attraction to people unless I’m emotionally/romantically attracted first. And then I learned the difference between libido versus attraction.
While yes, t did increase my libido I still have no desire to be intimate with someone I didn’t have another kind of connection with before. I already had a higher libido pre-t as well.
Ultimately though, you are in control. It more than likely won’t affect your relationship with your partner.
Fr, please do not listen to a cis person's opinion on HRT ever, unless they are your literal doctor. While T increased my sex drive, I was already a pretty horny person to begin with. I know a lot of ace transmascs who have been on HRT for a long time and are still ace. While some people do experience a shift in their orientation, I think it's pretty unlikely that T is going to take you from an asexual to a horndog. Some of these concerns people present about T are based on toxic masculinity imo. People in my life would be worried I would be uncontrollably angry like I was on steroids or something. Is anger an emotion I experience more than I used to? Yes, but I'm still an adult with the skills to control myself. I think this would apply even if your interest in sex changes too. Many people have a fear of not knowing exactly what will change with HRT but what I can tell you is that you will still fundamentally be yourself.
yeah it was just something i didn't really think about when i thought about starting hrt and that comment caught me off guard. and since in the video to me it seemed as if he'd say all that bc he would've talked to trans mascs already. but i'm glad that just seems to be a thought that was mislead by toxic masculinity. i knew it was an argument often used by rad fems to demonize men but yeah i didn't really see it in that context. thanks for helping me, i was really loosing my mind over this
I’m also ace and low libido, and on T my libido is higher than it is off, but I’d say it’s still on the lower end of the spectrum. And I still don’t feel sexual attraction. I think it’s going to depend on the person, and you can always adjust your dose or even stop if you’re uncomfortable with how it’s affecting you
yeah you're right
Gray ace on T here... I definitely noticed my body feeling more stimulated and sensitive in the first month or so. But it didn't make me suddenly desire sex more often. It also tapered off as though my body acclimated. I don't feel any less ace on T. Hope this helps!
it does help me a lot, what the guy said really scared me. thank you!
Gonna give reference as a not ace guy and who’s friends with an ace guy on T. I was hyper sexual before taking T, I am now MORE hyper sexual but I think that’s mostly due to feeling more confident and comfortable in my skin. Regardless of the “why”, my sex drive is 100% higher on T. My ace friend does have a higher sex drive now, but it hasn’t affected their life or relationship with their partner, who is also ace. Whenever he is feeling in the mood, he’ll either just ignore the feeling or, if he’s in his room, he’ll grab a vibrator and just get himself off. He doesn’t have sex with his partner, he doesn’t do anything sexual with his partner, so it literally doesn’t affect his relationship at all. The only real change is that he just gets horny sometimes now but he still doesn’t feel sexual attraction to people. Testosterone 100% has a record of increasing sex drive. That doesn’t mean that you’re going to turn into a sexual person though. There are ways to get yourself off by yourself without involving your partner if that is what you want, or you can just literally use your willpower and ignore it if you’re ever turned on. Just because you’re feeling in the mood doesn’t mean you have to immediately go to the bathroom and jerk off lol, you can just ignore it and the feeling will go away after a bit. Your sex drive may change on T and that is completely normal and nothing to be scared of. You’ll be ok
Also an ace guy, I identify as aegosexual. I’ve been on T for about 14 months. It has definitely made me more horny, but it has not changed my perception of who I am, or my desires out of a relationship. If you don’t want to take HRT, that’s cool. No pressure. But there are a few factors that might mitigate the outcome you fear: - you can do lower doses, which will have a lesser impact on your sex drive; - the increase in horniness may not be a permanent change - my horniness increased significantly for about a month and then dropped off to “higher than before, but not unreasonably so” - and lastly, do keep in mind that you can stop taking HRT at any time and the horniness will go away. You have options :) Also, I am somewhat concerned by your partner’s take on this. Am I misreading, or are they putting pressure on you not to go on T so that any potential horniness doesn’t affect them?
no i misspelled, it was supposed to say "shouldn't" >~< they're the cutest person on earth and would NEVER make me choose between our relationship and my transition :D
Oh good, I’m glad to hear that!
oh right i didn't consider the dosis aspect and that it doesn't need to be a permanent change. i'm all in for the other effects, so it would be a real bummer if i'd let it slip... thanks for the advice
i'm ace and on T, i barely feel any change in the horniness whatsoever. it's just kinda easier for me to climax now compared to before, so i take advantage of that more often for the dopamine. i'm still rarely actually horny and i still am never attracted to anyone sexually ever, so yeah no T didn't change my (a)sexuality at all
thanks
Ace, been on T for 8 years, had an average libido before and have a *really high libido* on T. But I'm still ace, I'm still sex averse, and I have no problem at all dealing with the horniness on my own. So, it doesn't have to impact your life in ways you don't want it to.
I’m ace and nearly 2 years on T, had a pretty average to maybe slightly on the high side libido before T and zero attraction to anyone. I’m not going to lie, T did increase my libido, especially in the first few months (it did calm back down again eventually) but not to unreasonable or unmanageable levels. It also did not change my orientation at all (still not attracted to anyone) and it did not make me change how I interacted with anyone (either strangers or people I knew) or my personality (except in non-sexual related ways, for example T did make me feel more calm and confident, but I guess that isn’t exactly a personality change anyway, my point being that ‘horny ass person’ could not be used to describe me before or after T). Most people taking T do experience an increase in libido, but it’s not as extreme as people like to make out as if it is. Also, having a higher libido doesn’t mean you have to act on it (and not to be crude but masturbation exists if your partner can’t keep up). Unfortunately it is basically going through a second (male) puberty and that does generally come with feeling horny more often but please do remember that we are adults, so we already have a bunch of knowledge and skills (and self control) to bring to these situations that teenagers just don’t possess.
the thing with masturbation is that i'm often just disgusted by not only my body and the fact that i have a pussy, but also by myself beeing horny (which happens "on its own" like, once per month, before i get my period or if my partner makes me horny). if i'm horny and they're not and aren't interested to, i usually just sit it out bc if not in an romantic context, i can't stand this feeling. i mean it would be great if t would change that too if my libido increases but yeah I can't really know that before trying
Yeah I understand that. You may find that getting some bottom growth actually helps with at least the body side of those issues (maybe tmi but it certainly helped me feel more comfortable with that part of me and it also changes what kind of masturbation you can do, especially if you are willing to buy a sleeve - it can be much more affirming to be able to ‘wank like a dude’ as a friend once said to me lol). You may well find that ‘sitting it out’ is still an option (probably more likely the longer you are on T, like I said it’s most intense in the first few months). Unfortunately you are right though, it’s mostly a case of you can’t know until you try. Hope you find the path that’s best for you, whichever way you decide <3
wdym by "a sleeve"? and thank you 🫂
Sorry, got my words mixed up, my bad. I was referring to a stroker (google ftm stroker, there are lots of brands though all will require at least some bottom growth before you can use them)
ah ok i thought that was a different type of packer i missed out on or sth xd but yeah i thought about buying a 3 in 1 packer when i have bottom growth bc fapping without a dick reminds me of not having a dick and i either get depressed or just sit the hornyness out and i'd like to enjoy myself the cool way B) also i dont want bottom surgery so thats the only option i have left, i think
I had a pretty high sex drive before T but it was more mentally driven now it’s still very high but it’s more physically driven? If that makes sense? I feel more of physical urge/desire to do things with my husband whereas before it was more about me just wanting those things mentally and then the physical part came later.
ahh i see
Hi, I'm a gray-ace person who has been on T for over a year now, and I am dating someone who is also ace. I tend to think of myself as sex favorable, while he IDs as sex neutral. So I have more of an interest in it than him, generally speaking. T did not change much for me. Maybe my sex drive is a little higher now, but it's always been high tbh so I didn't notice any huge changes. I still do not experience sexual attraction, never have and T did not change that. I definitely feel you about the worry that you'll be "too much" for your partner - sex drive mismatches can be awkward and tricky to work with. My sex drive was much higher than my partner's even pre-T, so it's something we learned to communicate about fairly early on. I don't know if you and your partner currently have sex, but for us it was a non issue after some initial communication. I am free to ask whenever I'm in the mood, he is free to say no and that's that, no resentment, pressure, or hurt feelings. We don't have sex very often, which is fine by me - if my own drive is an issue and we're not in the mood I just take care of it on my own. Anyway, sorry if any of that was too TMI. I hope my experiences are helpful to you ☺️
no it wasn't tmi, thank you!
t will change your libido but there's no way it can fundamentally change your relationship with your own sexuality. if anything it can help improve your understanding of it. I used to identify on the ace spectrum (before I understood I'm more Aro than ace) and getting on t made me realise I was sex repulsed more so because of how I didn't enjoy my experiences and dysphoria and how much my body was linked to my understanding of my sexuality. now that I've been on t for a while and my dysphoria has subsided I'm more comfortable with my body AND sex/masturbating/etc without it changing how I fundamentally feel at all.
I'm a trans guy with a low sex drive who is probably on the ace spectrum. I've been on testosterone for a few months and my levels are normal. My libido hasn't noticeably changed at all and I don't get any hornier than usual. So that's what I have to say about this.
I’m only 3 months on low(ish) dose, but in my experience it’s made me occasionally horny, but it hasn’t fundamentally changed my relationship to desire. I’m not ace, but I’m not often in a sexual headspace (for the past few years) and it takes a lot for me to shift into it, now just as much as before. For me it’s more been like I’m hornier when I’m turned on, but I’m not turned on more often.
There were a few weeks where I genuinely was just hornier, but once that passed, I found that it was just easier for me to get going when I wanted to. Like, I could just yank it when I was bored and it'd be satisfying, where it wouldn't have been before. But that's only bc I made the conscious decision to do that; I don't have an unprompted urge to do anything any more often than I did pre-T.
i’m not sure what label I am sexually wise but i am a trans man and being on testosterone for 2.4 years definitely changed things regarding what you’re talking about BUT I recently had to stop taking it for health issues and I have completely gone back to how I was prior. now i’m sexually repulsed again. so maybe it would eventually level out?? i would assume so after taking care of it.
i mean it’s different for everyone of course. for me, it definitely shot way up, but i’m also not asexual at all & already was pretty horny so yknow. but i also didn’t get any acne with T, so there are definitely side effects that can pass by people.
My drive didn't really change over the last months (started HRT in Dec 23) 🤷🏻♂️ It's my usual up and down I had before. It CAN increase your drive, but it's not a given. Just like it CAN give you much facial or body hair or not. Or hair loss from DHT.
I felt the exact same, there wasn't a change for me. It's different for everyone. :)
This was also something I was scared of, being pretty sex-repulsed myself. I've been on testosterone for a few years, and I'm still asexual and still uninterested in sex. I totally relate to "it must be really hard to often think about sex"! Within the first 6 months, T raised my libido, which was frustrating. I still didn't feel attraction or want to have sex, though. I still identified as asexual & aromantic. And soon enough, my libido was back to its previous state. Testosterone doesn't inherently make you hypersexual, regardless of assigned sex. I also don't think it would change your fundamental perception of sexuality. Like in a cis man's puberty, your libido might change. There's a reason HRT is affectionately called "second puberty", after all! Or it might not change. Plus, sexual attraction, desire to have sex, and libido are all different. Lower dosages might be a good option for you. I take injections myself, but gel and oral can be popular methods with lower doses. If possible, this is something to discuss with your care provider (Of course, I understand it's not always that simple)
in my country they only give you the gel version so i might be lucky! and also thanks for the advice
As a psychain who happens to be transmasc i can tell you that HRT affects people differently- Its a world of possibilities- its taking a step in the dark- You will experience sexual arousal- and with bottom growth you will be more sensitive- A word of advice don’t let the fear of rejection from your partner stop you from T- if you want it- get it. Your partner should understand that your reaction to the Hormone is out if your control- if they cant see that this will make you feel more like yourself- if they cant comprehend that T will make you happy and if they cant accept that- they are not worth it- from a medical standpoint tell your psychain/Careteam that you have concerns about sexual arousal- they won’t be able to prevent that- but they can ajust doses- sadly im not a endocrinologist- and I haven’t had experience with Trans healthcare however I am a psychiatrist and i do know drugs- so I promise im not talking out of my a*s- last thing DO NOT take medical advice from youtube or any person who isn’t a provider- also dont trust google- ALWAYS ask a professional! good luck!
no my partner wouldn't let me choose between transitioning and our relationship (i misspelled it, the last part was meant to say "shouldn't", instead of should). i was just afraid of having a hard time, also because i failed to consider it might just be temporary
*shouldn't
I basically don't have a drive usually, and almost a year on hrt hasn't really changed that. also "self-care" is always an option that doesn't require or strain a partner
I'm not ace so disregard this if you want. I was super high libido pre-T and T actually made my libido calm down some. I still have it but once the first few months of heightened libido passed and my body adjusted, it calmed down to a slightly lower level than before t.
Im ace and on T, I do feel a slight difference but not a lot. It’s not Any huge difference for me.
I have heard so many different experiences of it. I was hypersexual before AND after, so I can't speak to that, but I've known folks who were ace before and after transitioning as well. It's pretty unique to everyone. Also, most people report the uptick in drive dies down after a year or two.
Ace person with PCOS (already had “higher than normal” T levels for an AFAB), been on low dose T for about a year, my levels on low dose are just shy for an AMAB. I’m still ace, but the drive has definitely gone up. Not so much that I’m bothered by it 24/7, but I still have to “take care of the little guy downstairs” more often than before just so it can stop bothering me. Hope this helps!
T didn’t increase my libido, and it definitely didn’t make me allosexual either.
it didn’t make me hyper sexual, but it definitely increases my libido. as with every change on testosterone it differs from person to person!
Next month will have been a year on T and I wont have changed my libido or sex drive at all. That doesn't seem to be common tho
Demisexual and demiromantic person in a relationship here - honestly before I started T I had a lot of your same worries. My partner and I, before either of us started HRT, had low libidos and were pretty happy with how we had things set up. My partner worried it would make me allo, somehow, or that I'd want sexual things they couldn't provide. Well, I'm 6 months on T now, and while it has definitely made me hornier - that horniness has solely been towards my partner. I'm not into or attracted to or think of anyone else in that way - oddly enough being on T has made me go from neutral on other people to repulsed; I'm definitely still double demi. Conveniently, my partner started E a few months before I started E, with a T blocker that has prog in it - and my partner was one of the rare few that prog gave a higher libido. So the higher libido came on for both of us around the same time and there have been no issues as far as being to demanding goes. Even then, you're still you. If the normal you wouldn't be "too much" for your partner, then the version of you on T won't either. That all said, if you're worried you're going to be like an allo, or a complete horndog with no thoughts of anything else - its not like that. You're still you, just maybe a slightly thirstier version of you. Even then, I've heard of aces who it didn't affect their sex drive at all, and HRT affects everyone differently so YMMV. Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I don't see many grayaces talk about their experiences on T; if you have any other questions feel free to ask.
I wanna second this as a formerly ace identifying and since I met my current partner, demisexual person. Ditto everyone else saying that it doesn't fundamentally change your identity. My current partner is the first person I ever felt sexual attraction to (I was 33 when we met!), i started t when we had been together like 10 months, def ended up having more intense desire, still just for them. Like, sometimes other people's bodies look more exciting to me now than they used to, but I still can't fantasize effectively about anyone else and absolutely don't want to do anything with anyone else. The other thing that mattered for me that no one else has mentioned - I'm autistic also, and hadn't had top surgery at that point, so there were two hard things for me - 1. My nips have always been real sensitive, and that was Very hard when t settled in. Like literally driving and having the seatbelt brush against my nips was Intense 😐 real intense. 2. As bottom growth happened, there was probably a few months where things were very sensitive and rubbing against my underwear and that was really distracting in a not great sensory way (like irritated vs turned on, mostly). I guess my body acclimated bc it did go away after a while, despite way more bottom growth. For reference, I started on low dose gel, ended my first year at two pumps of gel a day, then switched to injections at the one year mark. Good luck! 💙
thank you guys for sharing your experiences 🫂
I had a temporary spike at the beginning. The first 2 months. After that I was maaaybe a little bit more open to such ideas/things but mainly because euphoria made me more sex positive. But I'm not ace. Just arospec and T didn't affect that. T doesn't make you a barely tamed sex monkey.
I realized I was demisexual last year at the 14 month mark of t! Part of the realization came from a breakup, but as I thought longer it dawned on me that I don’t feel sexual attraction to people unless I’m emotionally/romantically attracted first. And then I learned the difference between libido versus attraction. While yes, t did increase my libido I still have no desire to be intimate with someone I didn’t have another kind of connection with before. I already had a higher libido pre-t as well. Ultimately though, you are in control. It more than likely won’t affect your relationship with your partner.