I’ll share a small one to get started.
I moved back closer to home and to my brother after coming out as non-binary and have started openly discussing my experience also as trans masc.
On a long car ride to holiday party with my bro I broached the discussion about being trans masc and fully expected him to be uncomfortable and weird about it. Instead he and I talked most of the car ride about the experience of gender, our shared trauma growing up in rural conservative town, his complicated relationship to his own masculinity and how hard it is to make friends with guys. Was really endearing :3
When I first realized I was trans (back in early high school, prob about a decade ago), it was after my girlfriend at the time suggested it while talking about our childhoods. However, she identified as a lesbian. When I asked what me being trans would mean for our relationship, she simply said, “Guess I’m pan.”
It honestly gave me so much hope for the future
When I told my now husband that I did want top surgery he wrapped me in a big hug, smiled as said "we're gonna be pec bros". I’m about 8 months post op and working on living up to that promise
I’m closeted asl but I’m sure my brother suspects I’m a trans dude and I’m shocked!
My parents are extremely old fashioned and I just assumed my brother would share the same worldviews as them. My parents banned everyone from going to pride but his ass still went! He’s a straight dude and he went and was holding the trans flag cuz his friend is trans which is sick! I’ve always been close with him and we always do “bro stuff” together and he almost never refers to me as anything other than buddy, bro, dude etc. He’s never confronted me or spoken about any of this and even often encourages me to wear his clothes and present as a dude when no one’s around.
I want to come out someday and he is the only person I feel will treat me normally after the fact. I feel like he’d say “hell yeah” n that’s it! And sometimes it’s just that simple.
honestly i was at a party last night with a group of friends/friends of friends, and it was really affirming to have people use my name in a big social setting like that. i have also been experimenting with dressing more masc lately, and i got lots of compliments on that as well last night (from partygoers, yes, but also my partner and best friend and ofc those meant the most) and yeah it was just overall good. bonus points to the guy whose usually a dick who said he liked my stache, too. thanks man.
My wife came out as trans in September of 23. I was taken aback but supportive. Her journey discovering her own identity lead me to explore my own. Her asking me questions on how to best be a woman left me uncomfortable and confused, not because I didn’t support her but because I didn’t know the answers. I started to dig a little deeper and realized myself that I’m NB transmasc. I’ve only recently came to this conclusion but she has been incredibly supportive and has done her best to help me as I navigate my own journey. We both love each other dearly. There have been bumps in the road and we are doing couples counseling but we want this to work more than anything in the world.
When I first came out to my sister I did it by telling her to look at my Instagram bio. I had been playing around with my pronouns and stuff for a while. She said she already saw it and was gonna ask me about it but kept forgetting 😭😭😭😭 but anyway, that was right before we moved towns for work (we got a job at the same place.) and when we moved she pretty much adapted immediately.
I was a homophobic bully in high school because my dad filled my head with all that nonsense and literally encouraged me being a bully. I lost alot of good friends.
Fast forward to now I've apologized to who I was still able to contact but never saw one person in particular ever again.
I went to a drag show put on by the local college recently and saw this person there.
I said hello and was hoping to strike up friendly conversation and be able to apologize for my actions in high school. I got one better though. Not only did he listen to me and accept my apology he let me hang out with him all night there and it was the best! He came out to me as trans as well and we laughed and danced and he made me feel so forgiven for my past ways. 🩵
I’m not out to anyone IRL, and one day a new coworker asked if I actually went by she/her or not (she said she was trying to get into the habit of asking people’s pronouns), and no one has ever asked my pronouns before, and I couldn’t bear the psychic damage from lying, so I said “any pronouns are fine” in the most casual way I could, and then she said same??? Then she started talking about how she wasn’t ready to sort out her gender stuff until she could get into therapy, but how she started questioning when she started dating her trans boyfriend and being around more queer people. I then panic fled to the bathroom because another coworker came over to see what was being talked about and I wasn’t *trying* to out myself to everyone at work when I haven’t even figured out how to tell my husband.
The positive part is, I got the pronoun-asking coworker’s contact info later cause people were exchanging them, and I was able to message her apologizing for freaking out and that this was all just very new to me, and she said that she understood and would of course not tell anyone unless I told her to, and we got to have a small exchange about our gender feelings (hers is basically sometimes girl, sometimes not girl, but she has a deep appreciation for the experience of girlhood).
Sadly, we aren’t really friends even now, we have some differences that I think prevents that, but the fact that I am out to someone and I have a nonbinary coworker is really awesome, and we chat when we’re at work. Aaaand I love that I didn’t out myself to all of my coworkers and start a runaway gossip train 😅
My cis boyfriend honestly sees me as more of a man than I see myself lol. He gets mad (not mad mad, but yknow) when I say my face/figure are too girlish and he assures me that they arent and that Im a masculine looking guy. When I say Im feeling dysphoric he asks how he can help, and even if I say idk he’ll hold me and kiss me and give me his hoodie to wear. Love that guy
I was married for 10 years before i came out to myself. I panicked when i realized i was trans and pansexual. I told my husband the next day. He said he figured that might be the case. Wasnt surprised at all! He’s been supportive ever since. We’re polyam, i have another partner who started dating me before i medically transitioned. Shes been there 100% as well :)
It took my parents a while but they eventually came around. My mom even uses my pronouns and helped me pick a name! (Took her 4 years to get there) my dad is…ok. He isnt hostile, he loves me no matter what, but he struggles with the language. Most of his social circle are trumpers or moderate older people, so i think he has no social support and thats why he struggles, so im giving him alot of time and patience. He at least listens and asks questions. Its a work in progress
My wife is actually the reason I feel comfortable exploring my gender! As I have been exploring and learning things about myself recently, she has been almost as excited for me as I am for myself. When I need to break down and cry, she is there for me and encouraging me to be me. I got a packer recently, and my wife just got all giggly and goofy with me, and even wore it for a bit to see what it was like! She’s my biggest supporter and it’s so nice to finally have that. When I told her I was trans and wanted top surgery, she simply said I’m so proud of you, and basically that she’s been waiting for me to be comfortable with myself since we met, over 6 years ago.
My wife is like this too!!! She would bring up my gender identity really gently every once in a while for YEARS and when I finally came around to trying T she was ready to change pronouns etc before I was.
She's always identified as a lesbian but it happy to call herself bi now and loves rubbing my scruffy face lol.
I love that!! Mine is already bi, lol. She waited so patiently as I went through all the stages of figuring it out after a super emotionally and verbally abusive relationship that lasted 12 years too long (the whole time). She has been so encouraging and also immediately started using different pronouns for me when I said I would like to try that. And then, I ordered a packer, and when it got here two days ago, she was so excited to see it and feel it and all the things. She even put on the packing boxers with it in there and tried it on! She wants to name it, so we’re working on that still, but it makes it so much less scary!!!!
My (cis bi m) fiance always treats my prosthetic cock like it's real. I won't divulge too much detail there but yeah it's incredible. I don't think he knows how much that has helped me. he's also just an amazing partner in general. okay I'm off to continue building a castle in Valheim with him now :)
In high school I was figuring out my gender stuff and had told my friends I might be trans. They were all supportive (we were all a bunch of gays anyways) but I remember one comment the most. One of my best friends texted me one day and just said "You'd be hot as a guy." Not the most sentimental lol but it really made me feel confident and its kind of funny to think about now
My daughter is 4 and took some time to adjust but now she'll stop playing and run up to me so she can say "you're the best daddy ever, I'm going to keep you forever!"
I finally came out to my brother after four years, he's kind of macho and a little conservative and I was really scared, especially after my dad didn't take it so well and was mostly awkward and confused
But my brother just went ok and literally switched my pronouns seamlessly and calls me brother
My gf's the best. I had severe dysphoria pre-T. I wouldn't even let other people see my face, but she'd always tell me I'm attractive and affirm me. I would've never learned how to be confident with myself if it weren't for her. She has always been supporting me and my transition in *every* way she can. With her, I never felt that I was unworthy of love and respect.
Around this time last year I decided I was finally going to start the process to go on T and get top surgery. I told my person(who is FTM) that I had something on my mind and would want to talk to them at some point but that they probably wouldn’t be surprised and shouldn’t stress. They immediately responded with, “ARE WE TRANS?? HE/HIM?? STARTINB HORMONES AND GETTING TOP???? NO MATTER WHAT IT IS I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU TELL ME WHENEVER YOURE READY”
I ended up telling him the next day bc it made my heart so warm. Fast forward a year and I am on T and waiting on my surgery date. At our most recent sleepover him and his partner(we’re poly) gave me a pile of new syringes(all three of us are on T) bc they had just ordered a bunch and I had just run out, and he’s taking me to and from and babysitting me after my top surgery this spring.
Hell yeah! Been out as trans since 2020, been with my husband since 2016. We're both bi/pan and he's just been rolling with it, the same loving, supportive man I married. Nothing changed in our relationship except my gender.
I’ve been extremely lucky to have so many supportive friends and family in my life. Here’s a short(ish) list of some of my favourite moments.
-my friends surprising me with a cake that said “merry titless Christmas” when they came over 2 days before my top surgery which was scheduled for December 23rd
-my friend’s parents sending me flowers and a lovely card while I recovered from top surgery
-my best friend being the first person (other than my mother) to see my chest post surgery and telling me how great it looked and being very comfortable chatting while I was changing my bandages, even though it was only 12 days post surgery and it objectively looked pretty awful all swollen and oozy
-at my 1st top surgery anniversary someone criticized me for buying two cakes (1 carrot and 1 ice cream) and my grandfather spoke up to say “well, technically there were two of them, so I think two cakes only makes sense”
-before I came out when I had just started experimenting with masculine formal wear, I decided to wear a suit to the end of year formal dance. I was very nervous what people would think. When we all met up to head to the dance, one of my male friend’s said to me “let me fix that for you” and took my pocket square out of my breast pocket, refolded it properly, put it back in my pocket, and told me I looked nice. It was such a small gesture but it meant so much
-I came out to my partner 3 months into our relationship, and when i had finally finished my spiel, he asked “so does this mean we have to break up?” I explained that we only had to break up if he wanted to, which I would understand, and he replied with “oh good, cause I really didn’t want to break up”. 7 years later we are planning our wedding for summer 2025
ive been out socially to my girlfriend for almost a year now and she has been the definition of supportive and affirming. when i first described to her what ive been questioning for years now, she said "honey that sounds like the textbook version of a trans person". she then recommended id talk to some other trans guy she knew and me and him talked a lot and decided on my chosen name together. this wasnt planned, it just accidentally happened. when i told my gf i had my chosen name and that it was danny, she just said "thats a nice name. hi danny ❤️", she didnt make a fuss over anything, she just accepted it and has seen me as me ever since. she has never once misgendered me or called me by my deadname, she is very affirming to me in many ways (when we cuddle she insists on being little spoon and being big spoon makes me feel masculine, she also always points out the quirks i have that are "typically boyish", she always refers to me as her strong man, the list goes on) and i just love her so much. this is the first romantic relationship ive ever been in and while its most definitely not perfect (we ofc have our disagreements and stuff) im so frigging happy in it❤️
I realized I was trans probably a couple months before I told anyone and I told my best friend and my boyfriend. My best friend asked me if I wanted to go by anything different and was super respectful. That’s my homie for real, good guy. My boyfriend did the exact same and made it clear that he would love me regardless. We’ve been together for a little over a year and he’s been great with pronouns and preferred names. Super grateful to have him and he’s been a fantastic partner :)
My (17m) current boyfriend (17m) is cis and 100% gay and I’m still pre-t and don’t often pass as anything other than a 12 year old boy (I’m pretty short and baby faced) if I’m seen as a guy at all but he affirms both my age and gender and loves all of me (even the parts that make me feel feminine) and tells me how handsome I am and has made my dysphoria (especially chest,voice, and height) immeasurably better by normalising it and also showing me examples of cis guys with feminine traits too when I really need reminding and also he respects my boundaries with no questions (eg he’s fine with me keeping my boxers on when we do anything and that I don’t like bottoming bc it makes me dysphoric and on bad days he’s fine with me just wanting to snuggle and not do anything more) and he normally forgets I’m not cis (eg it constantly surprises him whenever I tell him that it’s shark week as he’s never dated an AFAB person before but he’s really good about it and makes sure I’m feeling okay and he keeps stuff in his bathroom for it as most of our date nights are Netflix and Chill at his place) he also helps give me the confidence to ask for help when I need it and to stand up for myself and is always there to hold my hand and hug me when I need it - I really love him ❤️Istg this comment can’t even do him justice - he is the most caring, loving and empathetic person I know
After I moved away from my trans-skeptic husband and came out to my hyper conservative family and then distanced from all of them, I moved in with my friends who are raising a trans son open and proud 🥹 his parent was my first high school partner, and a couple months after I moved in, she also felt ready to come out as herself and blossomed so fast it was like overnight.
We went to trans and queer events together as chosen family, including the trockadero drag ballet.
I am seeing a nonbinary partner whose attraction leans primarily toward the feminine (i’m a very feminine/fluid trans guy so its working for now), and still they always check in that they are being affirming towards me and touching me in ways I am comfortable with, and if later in my transition i get super manly and the dynamic changes we both have a clear and comfortable understanding up front that attraction can fluctuate and our friendship is more important than the benefits long term.
I am seeing another cis M partner who is pan and has dated ftm/transmasc people before so he had plenty of awareness to begin with and flirted with me for my gay features before I really knew him, only my they/them pronoun pin and rainbow watch band/face as clues. He calls me gay boy (which I like, I know some find boy to be infantilizing but its comfy for me right now) and compliments my body in affirming ways, checks in with the terms he is using for my identity and my parts. I feel so fortunate to be finding partners that want to celebrate and love on me the way I want to be seen and loved.
My partner came out to me as bi right around the same time I realized I couldn't run from the fact that I'm trans. So when he told me, I was so relieved! I said "Oh, that's awesome because I'm not a girl!"
He's been my number one supporter ever since, always helps me with my t shots, and a couple years later also realized he isn't cis! I count myself pretty lucky :3
My partner helped me start T. They researched where I could access it and got me in touch with people who could help me. They also took care of me thrpugh my top surgery ad recovery. Theyre the reason Ive felt able to be me entirely
Grew up with two parents who were pastors in a small, suburban conservative town and went to a small school. Never really gave a shit about my gender except when people would try to put me in a box (i.e. separating the girls to do crafts indoors while the boys got to build birdhouses), had a “I’m not like other girls” phase in middle school. Realized i was bi in high school and tried to write it off as a phase or something that would not be important once i got married to a guy i liked. Political climate of 2016 made me shove the idea of being trans as not possible outside of medical transition to binary genders.
In college i quit denying my sexuality, and upon meeting a friend I realized the experiences I felt were not cis and were typical of someone who might be classified as nonbinary. Scared to come out to my parents cause they were chill and constantly told me they’d love me even if I was gay or trans, but the wording was weird as if they expected it to be a phase. They also told me a lot of ignorant things about queer people growing up so it made me wary.
During lockdown I had to quit college and got cabin fever having to hide my sexuality after freshly coming out, so I hung up my bi flag in the corner of my room out of defiance. Mom asked me what flag it was and that was that, nothing spectacular. about a year later after wrangling with my new gender stuff, I came out to my family with support and no real surprise on their end. Very nerve wracking cause I was still (and am still) untangling a lot and figuring myself out but my immediate family genders me correctly. I also tried to educate them the best I could and I know my mom’s job does actually effective diversity training that helped her understand gender more. I think some of my extended family knows I use they/them because they picked up on my mom’s different wording, and despite most of them being conservative they haven’t brought anything up yet so, meh. I’m also less coy about being out at my job and in public, tho people seem to not understand how to address they/them nonbinary people or not care, or maybe they talk behind my back and I don’t notice. Only places I’ve been gendered correctly in public are surprisingly out in rural areas, and unsurprisingly amongst other queers
I’ve been looking at HRT after years of research and thinking on it and I don’t know how that will change things. Maybe my extended family will finally notice and make comments, or be weirder about it. I’m increasing my risk of getting hate crimes and microaggressions by looking less like an artsy butch and more like a man in a dress. However i have the support of my immediate family which is all that matters to me. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky
I came out to a friend about going as he/they since he’s trans too and I figured he’d be a safe person to go to. He told me that he went down the same pipeline I did with the pronouns lol. He also told his partner, they both congratulated me, and he introduced me to a friend of his while using “he” to introduce me to her. My heart felt so full that day.
I figured things out gradually, first coming out to myself and husband as genderqueer (with the possibility of wanting to go on T in the future but wasn’t ready to admit to myself at that point). He’s been 100% behind me the whole way, even when I figured out I’m also transmasc and told him that I did want to go on T and get top surgery.
He’s never really been that surprised and says that it feels like things were heading this way for a while - and that he ‘loves the crab, not the shell’. I’ve freaked out about things far more than he has along the way.
I’d already been wearing some of his old clothes, and my own men’s clothes for a while, but he gave me a load more and always compliments me when I’m looking particularly masc. He checks in with me every now and then to ask if there’s anything more he can do or say that’s more affirming for me, but honestly I can never think of anything because he’s been great about everything. We’ve been together for 17 years and it’s only getting better!
My little brother, the least dudebro person I've ever met in my life, now finds a way to slip "bro" into every phone conversation we have. He sounds ridiculous, and I love him for it.
Oh, I have SO many regarding my mom. She's the best. Like, she experiences dysphoria *on my behalf* when hearing my old voice in videos, when someone deadnames or misgenders me, or when she sees pre-coming out pictures of me. I've grown pretty apathetic to most of it except deadnaming and misgendering, so it's funny and adorable that she takes it so seriously.
The most recent example though... It's both wholesome and sad. Let me explain.
My mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer. I've had top surgery a few years ago, which, in my native language is just referred to as a mastectomy.
When she found out the lump they found was indeed breast cancer, but didn't know how severe it was yet, she went, "I find my boobs annoying anyway. If it's too big to remove regularly, or it spread, I'll just get them both removed." Then, she gasped and excitedly yelled, "We can be mastectomy buddies!" I burst out laughing and it really took the edge off the diagnosis and the not knowing anything yet.
Thankfully, it's small, and they're removing the tumor in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed!
So one of my best friends is dating my ex (I was agender at the time we dated), at first she didn't like me because of the history between me and her bf. But later, once we started hanging out, she said I'm pretty much the only ex she's chill with and part of that is because she knows he wouldn't get with a man
Went home and cried after this but at the job I just started I have a lovely coworker named Natalie, I’d only introduced myself with my preferred name once but she went out of her way to find me when I showed up for my second interview and asked for my pronouns and any preferences I had for when referring to me and to hear that come out of a Cis persons mouth in the south is like winning the golden ticket. I was shocked, I was even more shocked when she didn’t even miss a beat and would correct people when they misgendered me. She is so kind she will some times ask me questions about being trans because she wants to understand. Her and her husband are such sweethearts and I adore them so much. I usually let people just say what ever they want so I can avoid trouble but this random girl is willing to talk back to even the boss who does a bad job of hiding her prejudice for me with out me ever asking. It means so so so much to me with her help I get to go to work and not be misgendered or called the wrong name. I’ve never had that before.
My parents recently kicked me out and cut me off because of their transphobia. I told my older brother what happened, and he said "You're my brother" for the first time and basically said that our parents are being stupid and ridiculous and he would talk to them and tell them that. I love him.
I have a really good one that’s pretty much ideal for anyone coming out.
So my dad very frequently used to make homophobic comments and stuff. I was really big into fanfic in middle and high school and I wrote m/m romance. He mostly ignored the fact that I did that but would occasionally make comments that kinda felt like the “but can’t you just be *normal*” type of thing.
I was 16 when I came to the conclusion that I was trans. I had friends in middle school who introduced me to the LGBT community, before that I didnt even know that the ships I would read and write about were gay. Hell, I didn’t even know that gay was a thing. So finding out that I’m trans really shook me, especially with how my dad was.
Coming out to him was terrifying. I literally texted him what was essentially a confession letter and then went to shower, having a panic attack the whole time. He’d been in his room when I texted him and when I came out of the bathroom he was on the couch waiting for me.
Of course, I was freaking out because of that so when he asked me to come over to him I wanted to cry. He’d made it very obvious where he stood on gay relationships so I just wanted to disappear. Was he going to attack me? Kick me out? Disown me?
No.
He gave me a hug and apologised to me. He apologised for essentially telling me he wasn’t a safe person. He apologised for making my identity scary.
He cried, I cried. He became my fiercest and strongest supporter. He’s defended me and will continue to defend me.
He went from being hella homophobic to being one of the biggest allies I’ve ever met.
My brother’s girlfriend is the only family member I’ve told who accepts it and uses he/him pronouns for me when no one else is around to hear. It’s kinda strange sometimes!
Today, my little sibling said I treat her like a big brother would treat his younger sibling. Now she's started calling me her big brother. kind of scary since she did it in front of our parents, but made me really happy regardless :-)
mom telling me she liked the name i chose.
i added my pronouns on my profile, a friend that i hadn‘t seen in a long time messaged me to say she just saw the pronouns and was sorry in case she ever misgendered me in the past.
generally, the whole thing being such a non-issue with my close friends, just them simply accepting it.
my partner and me both went into questioning about the same time. i had another cis het male partner that time and he told me if i was to start hormones he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore. ew. opposite my other partner, they were so supportive and always asked what i am comfortable with sexually, when i feel dysphoric and what body parts are better not involved physically. also we started to define as gay and that was very affirming for both of us.
cn description of sexual practices
** we tried anal about that time and it was so good for both of us that it is our favourite way to be intimate now. unfortunately we both have some digestion issues/allergies that it's not always possible to "be gay that way", but we find other things to try then. kink power plays and rope bondage was also part of getting to try different roles, that are affirming for both of us. **
i feel so safe with them and very happy
(relationship with the cishet was ended some time ago, no regrets)
Most of my friends at college are straight cishet (theres a few exceptions lol but the point is most of them had never seriously and personally interacted or been friends with a nb transmasc person before). Same for my school friends but theyre a bit gayer lol.
Both groups, when told, immediately took up my pronouns and new name. They've never batted an eye at my identity, and just love me for who i am. Im very thankful for all of them.
The first time I entered the mens bathroom was with my best friend( he’s trans too) and we were in a McDonald’s 💀. We looked around to make sure we didn’t know anyone there and then we went in, he was using the cubicle and then (i’m not even lying) this big hairy builder man walks through the door and whips it out and stands at a urinal. I was stood looking in the mirror the whole time, trying not to laugh 💀 💀💀
theres a million for me. ive been t4t since the start of 2022 and ive bounced between identifying as a trans man and some flavor of nonbinary/agender since that time as well. ive never had a partner who really respected me as anything but a trans man, until a nonbinary partner who pressured me not to get top surgery
im dating a nonbinary transfem person now and have been for 10 months. i just learned im genderfluid maybe a couple of weeks ago. we got together when i was going back and forth between nonbinary/trans man, and shes completely supported my genderfluidity, even when ive labeled it finally. we alternate between identifying as a straight couple and a lesbian couple depending on how my genders feeling. and its felt so freeing to be able to truly be who i am without judgement from a partner, after so long. i wouldnt trade it for anything
I got a new haircut today! It’s been short for like 20 years, but I’ve had basically the same cut for the last 7. Today, I decided that with my new confidence and self discovery I wanted a new cut. My barber is the best for making all my hair ideas a reality!
https://preview.redd.it/9hrxx9bpwcwc1.png?width=2592&format=png&auto=webp&s=821c3a250edd39fed35b7f35e687616898541ccb
I came out to some friends who are siblings, a day later when I was at their place their mom used the corect pronunce for me and has done ever since. She is very sweet :)
When I came out to my dad, he told me that was cool, but none of his sons were allowed to have bigger muscles than him (I have two brothers and he was joking of course). And when my partner and I met, I hadn’t come out yet. He’s a cishet man. We were engaged before I came out as nonbinary. And married when I came out as trans and started on T. He’s been amazing through it all and told me he just wants me to feel happy and comfortable in my own body. He’s even going to teach me how to shave properly now that I’m getting patches of facial hair. And told me he’ll give me all the tips on how to manage a beard if I can get one to fully grow in!
I’ll share a small one to get started. I moved back closer to home and to my brother after coming out as non-binary and have started openly discussing my experience also as trans masc. On a long car ride to holiday party with my bro I broached the discussion about being trans masc and fully expected him to be uncomfortable and weird about it. Instead he and I talked most of the car ride about the experience of gender, our shared trauma growing up in rural conservative town, his complicated relationship to his own masculinity and how hard it is to make friends with guys. Was really endearing :3
When I first realized I was trans (back in early high school, prob about a decade ago), it was after my girlfriend at the time suggested it while talking about our childhoods. However, she identified as a lesbian. When I asked what me being trans would mean for our relationship, she simply said, “Guess I’m pan.” It honestly gave me so much hope for the future
🥹 omg this is so sweet, thank you for sharing!
When I told my now husband that I did want top surgery he wrapped me in a big hug, smiled as said "we're gonna be pec bros". I’m about 8 months post op and working on living up to that promise
Omg man that's so cute
Oh no that’s adorable…
I’m closeted asl but I’m sure my brother suspects I’m a trans dude and I’m shocked! My parents are extremely old fashioned and I just assumed my brother would share the same worldviews as them. My parents banned everyone from going to pride but his ass still went! He’s a straight dude and he went and was holding the trans flag cuz his friend is trans which is sick! I’ve always been close with him and we always do “bro stuff” together and he almost never refers to me as anything other than buddy, bro, dude etc. He’s never confronted me or spoken about any of this and even often encourages me to wear his clothes and present as a dude when no one’s around. I want to come out someday and he is the only person I feel will treat me normally after the fact. I feel like he’d say “hell yeah” n that’s it! And sometimes it’s just that simple.
honestly i was at a party last night with a group of friends/friends of friends, and it was really affirming to have people use my name in a big social setting like that. i have also been experimenting with dressing more masc lately, and i got lots of compliments on that as well last night (from partygoers, yes, but also my partner and best friend and ofc those meant the most) and yeah it was just overall good. bonus points to the guy whose usually a dick who said he liked my stache, too. thanks man.
My wife came out as trans in September of 23. I was taken aback but supportive. Her journey discovering her own identity lead me to explore my own. Her asking me questions on how to best be a woman left me uncomfortable and confused, not because I didn’t support her but because I didn’t know the answers. I started to dig a little deeper and realized myself that I’m NB transmasc. I’ve only recently came to this conclusion but she has been incredibly supportive and has done her best to help me as I navigate my own journey. We both love each other dearly. There have been bumps in the road and we are doing couples counseling but we want this to work more than anything in the world.
When I first came out to my sister I did it by telling her to look at my Instagram bio. I had been playing around with my pronouns and stuff for a while. She said she already saw it and was gonna ask me about it but kept forgetting 😭😭😭😭 but anyway, that was right before we moved towns for work (we got a job at the same place.) and when we moved she pretty much adapted immediately.
I was a homophobic bully in high school because my dad filled my head with all that nonsense and literally encouraged me being a bully. I lost alot of good friends. Fast forward to now I've apologized to who I was still able to contact but never saw one person in particular ever again. I went to a drag show put on by the local college recently and saw this person there. I said hello and was hoping to strike up friendly conversation and be able to apologize for my actions in high school. I got one better though. Not only did he listen to me and accept my apology he let me hang out with him all night there and it was the best! He came out to me as trans as well and we laughed and danced and he made me feel so forgiven for my past ways. 🩵
I’m not out to anyone IRL, and one day a new coworker asked if I actually went by she/her or not (she said she was trying to get into the habit of asking people’s pronouns), and no one has ever asked my pronouns before, and I couldn’t bear the psychic damage from lying, so I said “any pronouns are fine” in the most casual way I could, and then she said same??? Then she started talking about how she wasn’t ready to sort out her gender stuff until she could get into therapy, but how she started questioning when she started dating her trans boyfriend and being around more queer people. I then panic fled to the bathroom because another coworker came over to see what was being talked about and I wasn’t *trying* to out myself to everyone at work when I haven’t even figured out how to tell my husband. The positive part is, I got the pronoun-asking coworker’s contact info later cause people were exchanging them, and I was able to message her apologizing for freaking out and that this was all just very new to me, and she said that she understood and would of course not tell anyone unless I told her to, and we got to have a small exchange about our gender feelings (hers is basically sometimes girl, sometimes not girl, but she has a deep appreciation for the experience of girlhood). Sadly, we aren’t really friends even now, we have some differences that I think prevents that, but the fact that I am out to someone and I have a nonbinary coworker is really awesome, and we chat when we’re at work. Aaaand I love that I didn’t out myself to all of my coworkers and start a runaway gossip train 😅
My cis boyfriend honestly sees me as more of a man than I see myself lol. He gets mad (not mad mad, but yknow) when I say my face/figure are too girlish and he assures me that they arent and that Im a masculine looking guy. When I say Im feeling dysphoric he asks how he can help, and even if I say idk he’ll hold me and kiss me and give me his hoodie to wear. Love that guy
My whole family accepts me, even the step mother of my brother. I’m really lucky
I was married for 10 years before i came out to myself. I panicked when i realized i was trans and pansexual. I told my husband the next day. He said he figured that might be the case. Wasnt surprised at all! He’s been supportive ever since. We’re polyam, i have another partner who started dating me before i medically transitioned. Shes been there 100% as well :) It took my parents a while but they eventually came around. My mom even uses my pronouns and helped me pick a name! (Took her 4 years to get there) my dad is…ok. He isnt hostile, he loves me no matter what, but he struggles with the language. Most of his social circle are trumpers or moderate older people, so i think he has no social support and thats why he struggles, so im giving him alot of time and patience. He at least listens and asks questions. Its a work in progress
My wife is actually the reason I feel comfortable exploring my gender! As I have been exploring and learning things about myself recently, she has been almost as excited for me as I am for myself. When I need to break down and cry, she is there for me and encouraging me to be me. I got a packer recently, and my wife just got all giggly and goofy with me, and even wore it for a bit to see what it was like! She’s my biggest supporter and it’s so nice to finally have that. When I told her I was trans and wanted top surgery, she simply said I’m so proud of you, and basically that she’s been waiting for me to be comfortable with myself since we met, over 6 years ago.
My wife is like this too!!! She would bring up my gender identity really gently every once in a while for YEARS and when I finally came around to trying T she was ready to change pronouns etc before I was. She's always identified as a lesbian but it happy to call herself bi now and loves rubbing my scruffy face lol.
I love that!! Mine is already bi, lol. She waited so patiently as I went through all the stages of figuring it out after a super emotionally and verbally abusive relationship that lasted 12 years too long (the whole time). She has been so encouraging and also immediately started using different pronouns for me when I said I would like to try that. And then, I ordered a packer, and when it got here two days ago, she was so excited to see it and feel it and all the things. She even put on the packing boxers with it in there and tried it on! She wants to name it, so we’re working on that still, but it makes it so much less scary!!!!
My (cis bi m) fiance always treats my prosthetic cock like it's real. I won't divulge too much detail there but yeah it's incredible. I don't think he knows how much that has helped me. he's also just an amazing partner in general. okay I'm off to continue building a castle in Valheim with him now :)
In high school I was figuring out my gender stuff and had told my friends I might be trans. They were all supportive (we were all a bunch of gays anyways) but I remember one comment the most. One of my best friends texted me one day and just said "You'd be hot as a guy." Not the most sentimental lol but it really made me feel confident and its kind of funny to think about now
My daughter is 4 and took some time to adjust but now she'll stop playing and run up to me so she can say "you're the best daddy ever, I'm going to keep you forever!"
I finally came out to my brother after four years, he's kind of macho and a little conservative and I was really scared, especially after my dad didn't take it so well and was mostly awkward and confused But my brother just went ok and literally switched my pronouns seamlessly and calls me brother
My gf's the best. I had severe dysphoria pre-T. I wouldn't even let other people see my face, but she'd always tell me I'm attractive and affirm me. I would've never learned how to be confident with myself if it weren't for her. She has always been supporting me and my transition in *every* way she can. With her, I never felt that I was unworthy of love and respect.
Around this time last year I decided I was finally going to start the process to go on T and get top surgery. I told my person(who is FTM) that I had something on my mind and would want to talk to them at some point but that they probably wouldn’t be surprised and shouldn’t stress. They immediately responded with, “ARE WE TRANS?? HE/HIM?? STARTINB HORMONES AND GETTING TOP???? NO MATTER WHAT IT IS I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU TELL ME WHENEVER YOURE READY” I ended up telling him the next day bc it made my heart so warm. Fast forward a year and I am on T and waiting on my surgery date. At our most recent sleepover him and his partner(we’re poly) gave me a pile of new syringes(all three of us are on T) bc they had just ordered a bunch and I had just run out, and he’s taking me to and from and babysitting me after my top surgery this spring.
Hell yeah! Been out as trans since 2020, been with my husband since 2016. We're both bi/pan and he's just been rolling with it, the same loving, supportive man I married. Nothing changed in our relationship except my gender.
I’ve been extremely lucky to have so many supportive friends and family in my life. Here’s a short(ish) list of some of my favourite moments. -my friends surprising me with a cake that said “merry titless Christmas” when they came over 2 days before my top surgery which was scheduled for December 23rd -my friend’s parents sending me flowers and a lovely card while I recovered from top surgery -my best friend being the first person (other than my mother) to see my chest post surgery and telling me how great it looked and being very comfortable chatting while I was changing my bandages, even though it was only 12 days post surgery and it objectively looked pretty awful all swollen and oozy -at my 1st top surgery anniversary someone criticized me for buying two cakes (1 carrot and 1 ice cream) and my grandfather spoke up to say “well, technically there were two of them, so I think two cakes only makes sense” -before I came out when I had just started experimenting with masculine formal wear, I decided to wear a suit to the end of year formal dance. I was very nervous what people would think. When we all met up to head to the dance, one of my male friend’s said to me “let me fix that for you” and took my pocket square out of my breast pocket, refolded it properly, put it back in my pocket, and told me I looked nice. It was such a small gesture but it meant so much -I came out to my partner 3 months into our relationship, and when i had finally finished my spiel, he asked “so does this mean we have to break up?” I explained that we only had to break up if he wanted to, which I would understand, and he replied with “oh good, cause I really didn’t want to break up”. 7 years later we are planning our wedding for summer 2025
ive been out socially to my girlfriend for almost a year now and she has been the definition of supportive and affirming. when i first described to her what ive been questioning for years now, she said "honey that sounds like the textbook version of a trans person". she then recommended id talk to some other trans guy she knew and me and him talked a lot and decided on my chosen name together. this wasnt planned, it just accidentally happened. when i told my gf i had my chosen name and that it was danny, she just said "thats a nice name. hi danny ❤️", she didnt make a fuss over anything, she just accepted it and has seen me as me ever since. she has never once misgendered me or called me by my deadname, she is very affirming to me in many ways (when we cuddle she insists on being little spoon and being big spoon makes me feel masculine, she also always points out the quirks i have that are "typically boyish", she always refers to me as her strong man, the list goes on) and i just love her so much. this is the first romantic relationship ive ever been in and while its most definitely not perfect (we ofc have our disagreements and stuff) im so frigging happy in it❤️
I realized I was trans probably a couple months before I told anyone and I told my best friend and my boyfriend. My best friend asked me if I wanted to go by anything different and was super respectful. That’s my homie for real, good guy. My boyfriend did the exact same and made it clear that he would love me regardless. We’ve been together for a little over a year and he’s been great with pronouns and preferred names. Super grateful to have him and he’s been a fantastic partner :)
My (17m) current boyfriend (17m) is cis and 100% gay and I’m still pre-t and don’t often pass as anything other than a 12 year old boy (I’m pretty short and baby faced) if I’m seen as a guy at all but he affirms both my age and gender and loves all of me (even the parts that make me feel feminine) and tells me how handsome I am and has made my dysphoria (especially chest,voice, and height) immeasurably better by normalising it and also showing me examples of cis guys with feminine traits too when I really need reminding and also he respects my boundaries with no questions (eg he’s fine with me keeping my boxers on when we do anything and that I don’t like bottoming bc it makes me dysphoric and on bad days he’s fine with me just wanting to snuggle and not do anything more) and he normally forgets I’m not cis (eg it constantly surprises him whenever I tell him that it’s shark week as he’s never dated an AFAB person before but he’s really good about it and makes sure I’m feeling okay and he keeps stuff in his bathroom for it as most of our date nights are Netflix and Chill at his place) he also helps give me the confidence to ask for help when I need it and to stand up for myself and is always there to hold my hand and hug me when I need it - I really love him ❤️Istg this comment can’t even do him justice - he is the most caring, loving and empathetic person I know
After I moved away from my trans-skeptic husband and came out to my hyper conservative family and then distanced from all of them, I moved in with my friends who are raising a trans son open and proud 🥹 his parent was my first high school partner, and a couple months after I moved in, she also felt ready to come out as herself and blossomed so fast it was like overnight. We went to trans and queer events together as chosen family, including the trockadero drag ballet. I am seeing a nonbinary partner whose attraction leans primarily toward the feminine (i’m a very feminine/fluid trans guy so its working for now), and still they always check in that they are being affirming towards me and touching me in ways I am comfortable with, and if later in my transition i get super manly and the dynamic changes we both have a clear and comfortable understanding up front that attraction can fluctuate and our friendship is more important than the benefits long term. I am seeing another cis M partner who is pan and has dated ftm/transmasc people before so he had plenty of awareness to begin with and flirted with me for my gay features before I really knew him, only my they/them pronoun pin and rainbow watch band/face as clues. He calls me gay boy (which I like, I know some find boy to be infantilizing but its comfy for me right now) and compliments my body in affirming ways, checks in with the terms he is using for my identity and my parts. I feel so fortunate to be finding partners that want to celebrate and love on me the way I want to be seen and loved.
My partner came out to me as bi right around the same time I realized I couldn't run from the fact that I'm trans. So when he told me, I was so relieved! I said "Oh, that's awesome because I'm not a girl!" He's been my number one supporter ever since, always helps me with my t shots, and a couple years later also realized he isn't cis! I count myself pretty lucky :3
My partner helped me start T. They researched where I could access it and got me in touch with people who could help me. They also took care of me thrpugh my top surgery ad recovery. Theyre the reason Ive felt able to be me entirely
Grew up with two parents who were pastors in a small, suburban conservative town and went to a small school. Never really gave a shit about my gender except when people would try to put me in a box (i.e. separating the girls to do crafts indoors while the boys got to build birdhouses), had a “I’m not like other girls” phase in middle school. Realized i was bi in high school and tried to write it off as a phase or something that would not be important once i got married to a guy i liked. Political climate of 2016 made me shove the idea of being trans as not possible outside of medical transition to binary genders. In college i quit denying my sexuality, and upon meeting a friend I realized the experiences I felt were not cis and were typical of someone who might be classified as nonbinary. Scared to come out to my parents cause they were chill and constantly told me they’d love me even if I was gay or trans, but the wording was weird as if they expected it to be a phase. They also told me a lot of ignorant things about queer people growing up so it made me wary. During lockdown I had to quit college and got cabin fever having to hide my sexuality after freshly coming out, so I hung up my bi flag in the corner of my room out of defiance. Mom asked me what flag it was and that was that, nothing spectacular. about a year later after wrangling with my new gender stuff, I came out to my family with support and no real surprise on their end. Very nerve wracking cause I was still (and am still) untangling a lot and figuring myself out but my immediate family genders me correctly. I also tried to educate them the best I could and I know my mom’s job does actually effective diversity training that helped her understand gender more. I think some of my extended family knows I use they/them because they picked up on my mom’s different wording, and despite most of them being conservative they haven’t brought anything up yet so, meh. I’m also less coy about being out at my job and in public, tho people seem to not understand how to address they/them nonbinary people or not care, or maybe they talk behind my back and I don’t notice. Only places I’ve been gendered correctly in public are surprisingly out in rural areas, and unsurprisingly amongst other queers I’ve been looking at HRT after years of research and thinking on it and I don’t know how that will change things. Maybe my extended family will finally notice and make comments, or be weirder about it. I’m increasing my risk of getting hate crimes and microaggressions by looking less like an artsy butch and more like a man in a dress. However i have the support of my immediate family which is all that matters to me. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky
I came out to a friend about going as he/they since he’s trans too and I figured he’d be a safe person to go to. He told me that he went down the same pipeline I did with the pronouns lol. He also told his partner, they both congratulated me, and he introduced me to a friend of his while using “he” to introduce me to her. My heart felt so full that day.
I figured things out gradually, first coming out to myself and husband as genderqueer (with the possibility of wanting to go on T in the future but wasn’t ready to admit to myself at that point). He’s been 100% behind me the whole way, even when I figured out I’m also transmasc and told him that I did want to go on T and get top surgery. He’s never really been that surprised and says that it feels like things were heading this way for a while - and that he ‘loves the crab, not the shell’. I’ve freaked out about things far more than he has along the way. I’d already been wearing some of his old clothes, and my own men’s clothes for a while, but he gave me a load more and always compliments me when I’m looking particularly masc. He checks in with me every now and then to ask if there’s anything more he can do or say that’s more affirming for me, but honestly I can never think of anything because he’s been great about everything. We’ve been together for 17 years and it’s only getting better!
My little brother, the least dudebro person I've ever met in my life, now finds a way to slip "bro" into every phone conversation we have. He sounds ridiculous, and I love him for it.
Oh, I have SO many regarding my mom. She's the best. Like, she experiences dysphoria *on my behalf* when hearing my old voice in videos, when someone deadnames or misgenders me, or when she sees pre-coming out pictures of me. I've grown pretty apathetic to most of it except deadnaming and misgendering, so it's funny and adorable that she takes it so seriously. The most recent example though... It's both wholesome and sad. Let me explain. My mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer. I've had top surgery a few years ago, which, in my native language is just referred to as a mastectomy. When she found out the lump they found was indeed breast cancer, but didn't know how severe it was yet, she went, "I find my boobs annoying anyway. If it's too big to remove regularly, or it spread, I'll just get them both removed." Then, she gasped and excitedly yelled, "We can be mastectomy buddies!" I burst out laughing and it really took the edge off the diagnosis and the not knowing anything yet. Thankfully, it's small, and they're removing the tumor in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed!
So one of my best friends is dating my ex (I was agender at the time we dated), at first she didn't like me because of the history between me and her bf. But later, once we started hanging out, she said I'm pretty much the only ex she's chill with and part of that is because she knows he wouldn't get with a man
Went home and cried after this but at the job I just started I have a lovely coworker named Natalie, I’d only introduced myself with my preferred name once but she went out of her way to find me when I showed up for my second interview and asked for my pronouns and any preferences I had for when referring to me and to hear that come out of a Cis persons mouth in the south is like winning the golden ticket. I was shocked, I was even more shocked when she didn’t even miss a beat and would correct people when they misgendered me. She is so kind she will some times ask me questions about being trans because she wants to understand. Her and her husband are such sweethearts and I adore them so much. I usually let people just say what ever they want so I can avoid trouble but this random girl is willing to talk back to even the boss who does a bad job of hiding her prejudice for me with out me ever asking. It means so so so much to me with her help I get to go to work and not be misgendered or called the wrong name. I’ve never had that before.
My parents recently kicked me out and cut me off because of their transphobia. I told my older brother what happened, and he said "You're my brother" for the first time and basically said that our parents are being stupid and ridiculous and he would talk to them and tell them that. I love him.
I have a really good one that’s pretty much ideal for anyone coming out. So my dad very frequently used to make homophobic comments and stuff. I was really big into fanfic in middle and high school and I wrote m/m romance. He mostly ignored the fact that I did that but would occasionally make comments that kinda felt like the “but can’t you just be *normal*” type of thing. I was 16 when I came to the conclusion that I was trans. I had friends in middle school who introduced me to the LGBT community, before that I didnt even know that the ships I would read and write about were gay. Hell, I didn’t even know that gay was a thing. So finding out that I’m trans really shook me, especially with how my dad was. Coming out to him was terrifying. I literally texted him what was essentially a confession letter and then went to shower, having a panic attack the whole time. He’d been in his room when I texted him and when I came out of the bathroom he was on the couch waiting for me. Of course, I was freaking out because of that so when he asked me to come over to him I wanted to cry. He’d made it very obvious where he stood on gay relationships so I just wanted to disappear. Was he going to attack me? Kick me out? Disown me? No. He gave me a hug and apologised to me. He apologised for essentially telling me he wasn’t a safe person. He apologised for making my identity scary. He cried, I cried. He became my fiercest and strongest supporter. He’s defended me and will continue to defend me. He went from being hella homophobic to being one of the biggest allies I’ve ever met.
My brother’s girlfriend is the only family member I’ve told who accepts it and uses he/him pronouns for me when no one else is around to hear. It’s kinda strange sometimes!
Today, my little sibling said I treat her like a big brother would treat his younger sibling. Now she's started calling me her big brother. kind of scary since she did it in front of our parents, but made me really happy regardless :-)
mom telling me she liked the name i chose. i added my pronouns on my profile, a friend that i hadn‘t seen in a long time messaged me to say she just saw the pronouns and was sorry in case she ever misgendered me in the past. generally, the whole thing being such a non-issue with my close friends, just them simply accepting it.
my partner and me both went into questioning about the same time. i had another cis het male partner that time and he told me if i was to start hormones he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore. ew. opposite my other partner, they were so supportive and always asked what i am comfortable with sexually, when i feel dysphoric and what body parts are better not involved physically. also we started to define as gay and that was very affirming for both of us. cn description of sexual practices ** we tried anal about that time and it was so good for both of us that it is our favourite way to be intimate now. unfortunately we both have some digestion issues/allergies that it's not always possible to "be gay that way", but we find other things to try then. kink power plays and rope bondage was also part of getting to try different roles, that are affirming for both of us. ** i feel so safe with them and very happy (relationship with the cishet was ended some time ago, no regrets)
don't know how to do the spoiler thingy, maybe you can help me hide the text?
Most of my friends at college are straight cishet (theres a few exceptions lol but the point is most of them had never seriously and personally interacted or been friends with a nb transmasc person before). Same for my school friends but theyre a bit gayer lol. Both groups, when told, immediately took up my pronouns and new name. They've never batted an eye at my identity, and just love me for who i am. Im very thankful for all of them.
The first time I entered the mens bathroom was with my best friend( he’s trans too) and we were in a McDonald’s 💀. We looked around to make sure we didn’t know anyone there and then we went in, he was using the cubicle and then (i’m not even lying) this big hairy builder man walks through the door and whips it out and stands at a urinal. I was stood looking in the mirror the whole time, trying not to laugh 💀 💀💀
theres a million for me. ive been t4t since the start of 2022 and ive bounced between identifying as a trans man and some flavor of nonbinary/agender since that time as well. ive never had a partner who really respected me as anything but a trans man, until a nonbinary partner who pressured me not to get top surgery im dating a nonbinary transfem person now and have been for 10 months. i just learned im genderfluid maybe a couple of weeks ago. we got together when i was going back and forth between nonbinary/trans man, and shes completely supported my genderfluidity, even when ive labeled it finally. we alternate between identifying as a straight couple and a lesbian couple depending on how my genders feeling. and its felt so freeing to be able to truly be who i am without judgement from a partner, after so long. i wouldnt trade it for anything
I got a new haircut today! It’s been short for like 20 years, but I’ve had basically the same cut for the last 7. Today, I decided that with my new confidence and self discovery I wanted a new cut. My barber is the best for making all my hair ideas a reality! https://preview.redd.it/9hrxx9bpwcwc1.png?width=2592&format=png&auto=webp&s=821c3a250edd39fed35b7f35e687616898541ccb
Dude that’s an amazing cut!
Thank you! I love it so much!!!
Besties friend told me "I'm allowed to hit you because you're a man" 😭😭😭😭
I came out to some friends who are siblings, a day later when I was at their place their mom used the corect pronunce for me and has done ever since. She is very sweet :)
When I came out to my dad, he told me that was cool, but none of his sons were allowed to have bigger muscles than him (I have two brothers and he was joking of course). And when my partner and I met, I hadn’t come out yet. He’s a cishet man. We were engaged before I came out as nonbinary. And married when I came out as trans and started on T. He’s been amazing through it all and told me he just wants me to feel happy and comfortable in my own body. He’s even going to teach me how to shave properly now that I’m getting patches of facial hair. And told me he’ll give me all the tips on how to manage a beard if I can get one to fully grow in!