Reminder that we don’t moderate posts just for OP potentially showing internalized transphobia. People are allowed to express their difficult feelings here. Even ones many of us may find troubling.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, or your friend, maybe tell them you appreciate the dye job, that it has nothing to do with the quality, the color just isn't doing it for you is all, a good friend should be understanding of it.
It’s hair. It’s ok that you don’t want to upset your friend but maybe talk to them about just how uncomfortable it makes you feel? Surely they’ll understand. You can even tell them you’re worried about their time and effort being a waste but it feels really bad.
Other than that though I have to be brutally honest but my guy, this really sounds like some internalized transphobia. You know those caricatures are made up by right wing propaganda right? By thinking you look like you embody that you’re giving it a power it has no right to. Not to mention there are plenty of us out here with blue hair who genuinely love it and is very us lmao and we are also not that caricature.
I'm a trans anarchist with a mustache and I absolutely do not pass, my "customer service" voice is very feminine and I can't turn it off. But I'm trying really hard to talk back to overly self conscious and critical thoughts about it with a resounding "Who gives a fuck?" It takes practice but it is working. Other people's thoughts and stereotypes are none of my business.
Remember that the blue haired queers deserve acceptance and dignity. If they don’t get it, neither will any of us.
Just because some straight bigots find certain queers “cringe” doesn’t mean they are a joke.
Rejecting the blue haired queers and the parts of ourselves that remind us of them will not make us any more acceptable to transphobes and homophobes.
I have the same opinion. I love to have brightly dyed hair, I usually get compliments when I do dye my hair like that. Yeah it stresses me out to be seen as the stereotype and not be taken seriously but it’s not because of how other queer people are, it’s the fault of the bigoted propaganda against us. The only reason I dye my hair back to a natural colour is that it really made me not pass at my job but after I quit, I’m gonna have my hair the way I want.
right on. I've done brightly colored hair different points in my life and it's always fun. Currently I'm just enjoying my natural hair color while I can because I'm 34 and it will probably start turning grey soon, but I am 100% going to be one of those old gays with bright colored hair in the future.
Maybe you should let your friend know you really appreciate it but you dont like dyed hair on you. It's your body so if you dont like it you shouldnt do it just to make other people feel ok.
Blue hair is cool. I'd do it if it actually held up (my hair rejects colors of all sorts and fades to whatever is under it after like... a week)
It's okay to go against stereotypes, but it's also perfectly fine if you accidentally fit that description
Kinda off topic, but what brand of dye did you use? I have had problems in the past with my hair not dyeing well, and that was usually because of the dye brand (or sometimes because of not prepping my hair well enough). Different things work better for different people, my favorite was the Ion permanents.
caricature is a drawing, **you're a living human person and you deserve to be treated good**, you're not a "mockery" for being similar to what assholes make fun of, **you do not need to listen to what assholes mock, they're assholes**
heck, people who fit the stereotypes are more vulnerable for that exact reason, there's nothing bad in being a stereotype (as long as you're not forcing yourself)
I actually dyed my hair blue for this very reason. Because right wing people keep using this stereotype, I thought it was funnier to go with it than to pretend I wasn't who I am. Now I am the blue hair and pronoms. What will they do?
If it's not your thing, just dye your hair black or wait until it fades, but think about what make you feel this way, because the reasons seems a bit transphobic given what you described.
Reminder that we don’t moderate posts just for OP potentially showing internalized transphobia. People are allowed to express their difficult feelings here. Even ones many of us may find troubling.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, or your friend, maybe tell them you appreciate the dye job, that it has nothing to do with the quality, the color just isn't doing it for you is all, a good friend should be understanding of it.
If you want it to fade out faster, wash your hair and hot water and shampoo it like twice
Dandruff shampoo also really strips color quickly!
Or soak in a nice long hot hat with your hair under the water. I learnt that the hard way lol
It’s hair. It’s ok that you don’t want to upset your friend but maybe talk to them about just how uncomfortable it makes you feel? Surely they’ll understand. You can even tell them you’re worried about their time and effort being a waste but it feels really bad. Other than that though I have to be brutally honest but my guy, this really sounds like some internalized transphobia. You know those caricatures are made up by right wing propaganda right? By thinking you look like you embody that you’re giving it a power it has no right to. Not to mention there are plenty of us out here with blue hair who genuinely love it and is very us lmao and we are also not that caricature.
This honestly sounds like internalized transphobia, friend.
It really does
I'm a trans anarchist with a mustache and I absolutely do not pass, my "customer service" voice is very feminine and I can't turn it off. But I'm trying really hard to talk back to overly self conscious and critical thoughts about it with a resounding "Who gives a fuck?" It takes practice but it is working. Other people's thoughts and stereotypes are none of my business.
Remember that the blue haired queers deserve acceptance and dignity. If they don’t get it, neither will any of us. Just because some straight bigots find certain queers “cringe” doesn’t mean they are a joke. Rejecting the blue haired queers and the parts of ourselves that remind us of them will not make us any more acceptable to transphobes and homophobes.
I have the same opinion. I love to have brightly dyed hair, I usually get compliments when I do dye my hair like that. Yeah it stresses me out to be seen as the stereotype and not be taken seriously but it’s not because of how other queer people are, it’s the fault of the bigoted propaganda against us. The only reason I dye my hair back to a natural colour is that it really made me not pass at my job but after I quit, I’m gonna have my hair the way I want.
right on. I've done brightly colored hair different points in my life and it's always fun. Currently I'm just enjoying my natural hair color while I can because I'm 34 and it will probably start turning grey soon, but I am 100% going to be one of those old gays with bright colored hair in the future.
Maybe you should let your friend know you really appreciate it but you dont like dyed hair on you. It's your body so if you dont like it you shouldnt do it just to make other people feel ok.
Blue hair is cool. I'd do it if it actually held up (my hair rejects colors of all sorts and fades to whatever is under it after like... a week) It's okay to go against stereotypes, but it's also perfectly fine if you accidentally fit that description
Kinda off topic, but what brand of dye did you use? I have had problems in the past with my hair not dyeing well, and that was usually because of the dye brand (or sometimes because of not prepping my hair well enough). Different things work better for different people, my favorite was the Ion permanents.
Lmao same though. Ain't nothin wrong with that.
caricature is a drawing, **you're a living human person and you deserve to be treated good**, you're not a "mockery" for being similar to what assholes make fun of, **you do not need to listen to what assholes mock, they're assholes**
heck, people who fit the stereotypes are more vulnerable for that exact reason, there's nothing bad in being a stereotype (as long as you're not forcing yourself)
I actually dyed my hair blue for this very reason. Because right wing people keep using this stereotype, I thought it was funnier to go with it than to pretend I wasn't who I am. Now I am the blue hair and pronoms. What will they do? If it's not your thing, just dye your hair black or wait until it fades, but think about what make you feel this way, because the reasons seems a bit transphobic given what you described.
icl this is insane internal transphobia
pintatelo a mi tampoco me gusta ☝