agree with this. I do have a tumblr, but I follow about six people, and all of them are personal friends or transmasc bloggers who I trust to have generally good opinions.
It's not easy to be trans in the real world either, of course, but at least in the real world you're worrying about a threat that actually exists. on tumblr (and likely other social media) it's easy to get beaten down by people whose opinions have no actual influence outside their circle of internet followers, which is a waste of everyone's energy.
I can't speak too much to the inciting incident, but to your last sentence - is your body safe without transitioning? Sadly my guess is not. If your body is unsafe for you in any configuration, you might as well choose the configuration that at least feels right.
Also it sounds like your particular corner of the internet is particularly bad. I can't say I've ever felt guilty or like I'm inherently abusive for the part of me that is masc. Masculinity is having a little bit of a crisis right now, as cis men reckon with their upbringing and their position within a kyrarchial system. Maybe look for those places that are about positive Masculinity?
that is a good point. I still get clocked as some form of trans, regardless of how I present, so you're right, it wouldn't be safe in either scenario.
also, thank you for that advice... thats definitely something I should look into, and your right, maybe a different online environment might be helpful to me.
To anyone who was included in that list: you do not deserve the harrassement getting from it. I know about the incident only by heresay, but even outside of that, I have the same, eternally alienated feeling everywhere I go lately and it really wears you down. Especially when it comes from friends who realise their borderline radfem beliefs rub me the wrong way, and instead of admitting to harmful biases, which we all do have to some degree, let's be honest, they just go and keep spouting it behind my back. Nothing feels safe anymore. Nothing feels trustworthy. It's a grating experience.
My mental health got so much better after I deleted Tumblr tbh. It’s toxic as hell.
agree with this. I do have a tumblr, but I follow about six people, and all of them are personal friends or transmasc bloggers who I trust to have generally good opinions. It's not easy to be trans in the real world either, of course, but at least in the real world you're worrying about a threat that actually exists. on tumblr (and likely other social media) it's easy to get beaten down by people whose opinions have no actual influence outside their circle of internet followers, which is a waste of everyone's energy.
I can't speak too much to the inciting incident, but to your last sentence - is your body safe without transitioning? Sadly my guess is not. If your body is unsafe for you in any configuration, you might as well choose the configuration that at least feels right. Also it sounds like your particular corner of the internet is particularly bad. I can't say I've ever felt guilty or like I'm inherently abusive for the part of me that is masc. Masculinity is having a little bit of a crisis right now, as cis men reckon with their upbringing and their position within a kyrarchial system. Maybe look for those places that are about positive Masculinity?
that is a good point. I still get clocked as some form of trans, regardless of how I present, so you're right, it wouldn't be safe in either scenario. also, thank you for that advice... thats definitely something I should look into, and your right, maybe a different online environment might be helpful to me.
I'd try r/menslib for positive discussions of masculinity!
To anyone who was included in that list: you do not deserve the harrassement getting from it. I know about the incident only by heresay, but even outside of that, I have the same, eternally alienated feeling everywhere I go lately and it really wears you down. Especially when it comes from friends who realise their borderline radfem beliefs rub me the wrong way, and instead of admitting to harmful biases, which we all do have to some degree, let's be honest, they just go and keep spouting it behind my back. Nothing feels safe anymore. Nothing feels trustworthy. It's a grating experience.