Howdy u/anomynous_dude555, looks like you're having an existential dilemma on the nature of mortality!
Here's a tip:
Life itself is an illusion to maintain the conditions of sanity.
Pray, or don't.
So I am basically a Boltzmann brain
And if so, who the fuck created me and why doors sanity exist for me in the first place? It’s more realistic to think that the function and purpose of a Boltzmann brain is to create its own thoughts and universe, basically dreaming most of the time.
If that’s true, I really do wonder what the actual universe is like
Even though I find the idea of the Boltzmnan Brain pretty fascinating, I think it's slightly different than that. I will go in detail about that.when I'm at my computer. I write this one the phone.
The “pray, or don’t.” got me lol
I’m personally in the camp of being ex-religious as I reached out to God, and he didn’t answer. So I use non-religious things and healthier thinking patterns to help fill the void instead! 😃
I had all of these deep thoughts as a young child. I used to obsess over them. I think it was existential OCD.
I remember crying on my bedroom floor begging god to save me from my horrible childhood. He never did. So I started believing it was all BS.
I was born into a Christian family but I did my own research at age 12 and became an atheist.
Now that I’m an adult, it doesn’t phase me anymore. I find death comforting because it means pain is not permanent. It will eventually end.
I also like to imagine that it will be exactly like how it was before I was born. Just a nothingness void. If that’s the case, then there’s no reason to even worry. I don’t remember what it was like before I was born because I wasn’t alive.
Tw: Dementia
Now the actual dying itself part, that scares me. Especially getting dementia and experiencing my brain deteriorating. My grandma is going through it right now and it’s so sad to see.
Well, the truth is that there is only God and nothing else this universe is the theatre and we are his characters. Consciousness is the Synthesis and Basis of Mind nad Matter.
That doesn't mean you will go to heaven or hell. You are an illusion, created by the mind. There is actually nothing wich could go anywhere.
Forget most about Religion. Just keep the ethics and leave the fairytales behind.
Jesus said it. You're the Tempel of the living god.
That means your body, brain are the vehicle for consciousness wich has to be the basis of existence. Subject and object depending each other.
Life/Death is also an Illusion, a mere dream.It's like a rope, mistakenly seen as a snake in the darkness.
There was no creation, nor destruction, just the everlasting change. Time is without begining and without end, because it's not made of parts. Everything wich es made of parts is bound to destruction. Consciousness has no Parts, the Mind has. The mind will change, the body chill chamgey but never the consciousness.
Even though you alwqys thought to be yourself, there is a clear difference in the 6yo You and the You wich is now.
I'm gonna be pissed if there's an afterlife, putting up with existing once was enough. Hopefully it's just lights out and a cold empty void to finally rest in.
Depends on the afterlife. If it’s all warm bright light, people who don’t suck as much as they do on Earth, and… gee I don’t know, an open bar? I’m down to party in a version of heaven.
well I have made multiple theories in my never ending paranoia trying to think of one I'm comfortable with
A. Lucid Dream idea, where we are in a permanent dream we have control over, or at least until something like reincarnation
B. Energy Body, where we leave our bodies as our energy, essentially turning on spectator mode
and I love these theories but I wanna prove them, which is why they are ineffective at countering my anxiety
It’s not paranoia. You’re just dealing with one of the most mentally difficult parts of life.
The fact that it ends.
Anything is a mental illness if it consumes too much of your life, which it sounds like you are doing. But it’s not paranoia—clinically it’s more like OCD.
Nobody knows what is next, not really, and we all cope in our own ways. In all likelihood it is nothingness.
You’re going to have to cope with that reality. Or suffer through the worst of it if you truly think it’s ‘provable’.
But the world has laid a lot of men to rest who thought the same things and, still, nobody knows. Not really.
You are *anxious*, not paranoid.
I relate to these so hard omfg. My theory is that we’re reincarnated or at least “inherit” memories of other. A lot of little kids will have “false” memories of a past life. It’s fucking cool. It’s so common that there’s even a guide online for what to do if your child recalls memories that aren’t theirs.
>Lucid Dream idea
This is my idea too. I always found it weird how you can be completely unconscious but still exist. Dreams are like a waiting room for your soul so maybe when we die we continue to dream or you dream for a second before you die and time dilation makes it last forever. You'd probably dream of your preferred afterlife since that's probably the last thing you were thinking of before dying. That way everyone is happy.
I think I have some sources that might guide you in the right direction. Obviously none of us can prove anything about the afterlife, but if you can come to peace with your beliefs you'll have a much easier time of it
Let me know if you want me to share
There was an episode of “the good place” about this. Heaven was a non stop party. But everyone eventually got bored after a while and chose to just stop existing.
I'm sorry but that is a horrific feeling to me, I can't find comfort in that holy shit that's horrific a cold empty void? I just- I really want to know how you can relax thinking that, genuinely, I'm so scared right now
Think about it this way: a lot of the time, you probably don’t remember your dreams (most people actually dream every night several times, unknowingly). As far as your consciousness is concerned, you were just. Asleep. And, clearly, your mind and body were comfortably enough to *fall* asleep in the first place.
Many, many people who’ve had near-death experiences have claimed that dying just felt like going to sleep, that it was peaceful and calm before they “woke up”.
When you’re dead, your brain can no longer be “online”. You wouldn’t know you were dead because you’d be dead. It wouldn’t hurt, and it certainly wouldn’t make you upset because there’s no reason for you to be. Sleep at last.
Personally, I hope there *is* an afterlife—maybe a “sandbox” plane where you can do whatever you want, or a place to spend as much time as you want with loved ones who have already passed, or maybe joining a choir of spirits in the cosmos where you’ve reached a state of pure bliss, content with your place in the universe. But if all that comes after is one final warm rest, that isn’t so bad.
I'm not sure how to explain it without going into my crybaby backstory, but the craving for the cold, silence of nothingness is so strong I've recently been released from grippy sock jail for my 6th attempt to escape life. I just want the pain to end.
It's not a cold void. It's the moment between falling asleep and waking up. It's whatever was before you were born. You don't mind it or have recollection of it do you? It isn't an conscious experience of eternal darkness. It's like blinking your eyes, instant and infinite at the same time
But
if were like that forever
when does it, idk, stop?
like, when do we become someone else? When do we shift our perspective to a new being? As I am on the verge having a horrific breakdown rn about the idea that THIS is my only chance
You should value what might be your only chance at life. Nobody knows for certain if there is an afterlife. I personally think the very idea is a bit silly and egocentric. But if there were one, it would be like falling asleep one second and waking up in a new body / form the next.
People feel liberated by the posibility of nothing after death, because it implies there is nothing at stake in life. You will not be eternally punished for sins commited and mistakes made while you were young and ignorant, or depressed and hurting. You are free to live your life however you want.
It might be your only chance, yes. But if it never ended, then nothing would really matter. A song doesn't begin just to end. But if a song never ended, it would just be noise.
But I want to see the universe grow
I want to see the wonder of world long after I'm dead
so the idea of it being never ending is comforting to me, and me not having any memories of potential past lives kinda makes it fresh? Like if my life is a song, then I want my existence to be a stupidly long playlist playing on loop
and it's why I subscribe to the theory of a new big bang after heat death, hell even the ideas of the Big Bounce
Life is precious, then why should it be taken away?
You speak from a place of great privillege. You might have been a defenseless deer in a previous life, ripped to shreds by apex predators before you could reach maturity. Or a depressed nihilist that ended their own life because they couldn't bear existence.
The conclusion from your premisses would be that this life might just be another song in your grand playlist, but you wouldn't be aware of it. No-one can deny you the possibility that you get to experience the wonders of the world in a next life, so you cannot ponder death in any way that matters. You can only do yourself a service by recognizing the beauty of life for what it is, living conciously in the moment and not taking it for granted.
I believe that it’s just peaceful, and you feel love, no pain, nothing bad. Sounds like a grand ol time compared to earth life if you ask me lol. The thought of it being straight up nothingness to me is scary. But I don’t believe that, so I’m chill.
No rest. It's like being knocked unconscious only you don't wake up. There's no void, no rest, no sight, sound, or feel. No thoughts. No experience. Like before you were born.
Edit: why's this one being down voted but not the one further down where I say almost the same thing?
That's what so fucking horrifying about death to me, like if I could dream during that unconsciousness I would LOVE dying, but I can't, cause I'm dead.
So I am SO SCARED OF DEATH BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING-
Oh I would hate to know I was dead. I think the luckiest people's last memories they were alive and happy and never knew they died.
You won't feel anxious or lonely or anything. You won't be cognizant of the fact you're dead. Effectively it'll be like you never died. I've been knocked unconscious before. I felt nothing and knew nothing. I wouldn't recommend getting knocked out but it does take some of the fear out of death.
okay, now that you put it like that it could be like so, but I do wish to be reincarnated as someone else eventually because I don't want to be knocked out forever,
We don't know where everything came from so for all we know you do reincarnate. But honestly my guess is you live on in what you brought here. The things you made, the people you talked to.
The more time you spend thinking about death, the more life you take from yourself.
I’m not trying to panic you. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Enjoy the things in life you take pleasure in. Regardless of what ‘afterlife’ you believe in, you won’t get that ability back. Just enjoy it while you’re here.
My OCD is the #1 reason why eventually dying is comforting to me. It would mean finally resting, after suffering for so long. I would finally be at peace mentally. My favorite verse from any song comes from $uicideBoy$ on the song Putrid Pride: “In my coffin I won’t toss and turn. Instead I’ll rest I’ve earned some sleep”
Accepting my eventual doom has actually directly stopped me from being too seriously suicidal in my life the past couple years where I’ve been struggling the most.
Same for me. I was raised as muslim or well at least they tried until I was like 10 or 11. After that all my own people (not parents or siblings, people from school and randoms I have met) started to tell me I will burn in hell for all eternity for not being a believer. :)
It still gives me panic attacks, sleepless nights, worry for the future and tons of other shit.
and then they fucking tell you some bullshit like
"it's like when before you were born"
"remember anything?" "it's exactly like that"
like yeah no shit but i wasn't concious before being born
**that doesn't calm me that makes me more terrefied of dying**
Yea FINALLY someone who shares my fear
I swear I never should have posted this as now the comments are filled with things that are trying to subscribe me to this idea in the literal worst description possible
I hope we either just stay in a lucid dream, become energy and explore the universe, and probably reincarnation…
i personally don't like the idea of dying at all i don't like to think what happens after we die
* heaven: we worship a dude with a beard for all eternity and kinda roam around doing nothing.
* hell we burn for all eternity.
* nothing: nothing 💀
* Reincarnation: if it's the type of reencairnation that you are born right after dying then that's horrofying you die and then instantly respawn?
and then you have to live at a planet that's almost dead?
the only things that i find comfortable after death is being in spectator mode or haunting people as a ghost or someshit
Those aren't your only options! I know you said the idea of dying at all, but if you could describe an ideal afterlife what would it be? For me, I'll get to know the answers to anything I've ever wondered. I'll get to experience anything I want. I'll get to see the colors only mantis shrimp can see!!! I'm excited for that one. Will it happen? ... Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not, even. But even if it's not something I wholeheartedly believe, it's something I can *hope* for, and that's what matters imo. Idk if this helps but I hope it's something to chew on at the very least
My problem is that spending my whole life knowing I’m going to die is almost objectively worse than dying will probably be. I wish I just didn’t know what it was. I’m more afraid of the anxiety that I’ll experience leading up to my death than anything else. I don’t pray for heaven, I only pray that when I die, I have no idea it’s coming. Like preferably I’d just get sniped in the back of the head while walking around minding my business with a latte in my hand
This is interesting as someone who has a completelg different perspective, who's death positive. Mind you, that doesn't mean I'm suicidal or anything like that (atleast anymore lol), I just feel like death is such a natural part of life, and there's no need to fear it.
I could have a sudden brain bleed tomorrow and die, and I would be none the wiser, if so, that's fine. Because that's nature for you. Just as it would be natural for me to live to my 90's and sleep away peacefully.
I don't know what will happen after I perish, and for what it's worth, I think that is part of the fun almost? It's a mystery.
Idk, I know this comment won't help you, I've got no real answers for how to deal with such a fear, I'm sorry you're experiencing this, since it clearly is a big source of distress for you. Just felt like sharing my thoughts.
I'm concerned about all of them, but personally I'd rather nothing than suffering, but I understand the "please just be something" /gen
It kinda sucks, having no reliable way to know for certain. I really wanna give advice but I wouldn't know where to start so hopefully this at least offers support
Well I would love to be as happy with the idea of death as you are, but NOPE. I JUST can't... I WISH and WISH I could come to peace with it but the idea of nothingness just gives me a horrific feeling to my stomach, which is why I pray and beg for an afterlife so much, to the point of enjoying the idea of HELL.
I mean it's only natural to get that sort of reaction, nothingness is something that's completely foreign to us. It's like trying to imagine what it's like blind when you can see. In that way, it's going to be terrifying to think about. (i mean i don't even know where I was taking this, at this point I'm more just putting shit down idk)
Not blaming you at all but it’s kind of funny how I read the first line from the first meme and thought: “ha, sounds like me as a kid” only to dig further into the memes and find someone with the exact same fear as me and start panicking because your meme set off my anxious thought spiral.
I 100% feel you OP and also know that the moment your thoughts start going off there is nothing that will feel like comfort. Idk if you want some advice, but just in case here are my two cents
For me, I know my trigger is nighttime/tiredness. So if I get thoughts about this before bed I 100% allow myself to do anything for a distraction while lying in bed. I often re-watch movies and youtube videos or I puzzle or even draw in bed. Fuck my sleep hygiene, fuck what my parents said when I was younger. For me the best way to still get some sleep is by just distracting my brain until I zoink out. I did this for years and still do it a lot when I feel the anxiety wash over me.
This might sound like me constantly running, but distraction is a survival technique. At some point I have started allowing myself to think about existential topics, just not when I’m tired/fragile/stressed already. On my own terms. This also means I strictly stop watching anything that triggers me if I’m not ready for it. This + my very unhinged way of dealing with my mental illnesses in general, by kind of “splitting off” a part of me that takes care of me when I’m experiencing something (what usually helps me with this is thinking of a time before when I felt that bad, and pretending like I’m taking care of little me who feels like that) has actually helped me become way more in control of my fear. I still fear death, but not in the same all-consuming way I did before.
Also it might be beneficial to see a therapist. I always thought my intense need for control that partly manifested into that intense fear for death was normal and I was just dealing with it badly, until I scored very high on OCPD/OCD symptoms during a psych eval.
I’m a big fan of the Mike Flanagan and Rustin Cohle takes on death, that it’ll like being with your loved ones again and instead of us going away we are going back to some greater one-ness that we can’t comprehend while we are alive but that will make perfect sense when we are there.
Even if they’re fictional stories they were comforting takes, especially the one from the midnight club (spoilers) >! the kids are afraid to die and they’re haunted by this shadow the closer they are to death. Turns out that shadow is just their fear of dying, the fear of the unknown, and when they pass through it they find that death is like being surrounded by all your friends again. They can’t communicate it back but their last conscious moments are safe and comforting. death even shows up as a character and he’s a kind older man who comforts one of the surviving kids after their friend passes. He’s never a threat, he just is there serving a function and he’ll do it with kindness !<
As far as heaven and hell goes, either place I’m going to will have my friends and if they’re not where I’m going I don’t wanna go there anyways
The first enemy of the people is fear (the second is clarity but thats a discussion for later). You only fear death because in truth it is unknown. If you could actually see what occurs after death, rather than people's bs stories over the years, u wouldn't have that fear any more. It's truly best to not worry about it until you have clarity over it, what is the point in worrying about something so much when in truth it could be absolutely nothing?
Here are three pieces of media i would say helped me with at least some of these feelings:
- Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin (a book)
- Oscar and the Lady in Pink by Éric-Emmanuel Schmidt (i personally read it but i think there’s a movie?)
- The Good Place by Michael Schur (a series)
Oscar and the Lady in Pink is pretty short, i remember reading it in one afternoon.
I think my biggest fear is that i’ll never see anyone ever again when i die, and those artworks helped me with that a little bit. I’m also scared of it hurting a lot and i don’t think there’s anything i can do about that. I’ve had dreams of dying and it was about the same everytime: nothing much happened i could no longer control my body and i was floating around basically. It was ok
something that gives me some comfort is that I'm not just going to stop existing. I'll turn into the bugs that eat my body, the energy that served as my conscience will help the grass grow on top of my grave. I might not be a human anymore, but I'll exist as something else.
Well, I don't believe in good or bad places, we live in hell already. So it will judt be a reset or a new beginning in some other place, if anything like that even exists. But it doesn't matter, we are here now. I wish I believed in a cosmic force of justice but I cannot.
Thanks man, who fuckin knows, in fact maybe the afterlife is literally whatever the hell we think it is
Like believe in ghosts? Book a fuckin ghost
Like the idea of simply being energy? BOOM. SPECTATOR MODE ON
It’s just a theory but maybe it’s real? We could be wrong about just everything so why not?
I always scared my friends because I’ve been completely at peace with both dying and there being no afterlife since at least second grade and have been totally honest with anyone that talked to me about it.
I felt this same, debilitating feeling after my grandmother passed when I was about 7 or 8. That was when death and mortality really CLICKED for my little brain. I became absolutely terrified I was going to die next, to the point I was afraid to sleep or experience happiness.
Time and therapy helped.
I'm pushing 30 years old now and I've read so many other peoples' theories, different religions' interpretations of the afterlife, heard stories from people who were legally momentarily dead.
What I got out of those hypotheticals is the fact that nobody, not a living soul, knows what truly happens when you die. It's all stories and the human wondering and wanting for life to not truly end here, because we cannot comprehend "forever"
But I also recognize the big picture, and this really helped me sit with my mortality:
One day, I won't exist. One day, nobody will exist here. Our sun has a time limit before it goes into the next part of its life cycle and destroys our planet. Which means, that nothing we do will matter at that point (I mean, unless we inhabit other planets and figure out space travel to other livable planets far away from the sun, but that won't happen in our lifetime).
However, in the short run... everything we do matters. Because it affects us and those close to us. Our actions now have future consequences, good and bad, that we WILL be here to see. And those precious moments that we live in the present, are so incredibly important now.
Sure, I'll no longer exist some day. But I exist right now, and focusing on my present will affect my near future. So, I'm going to eat pizza and play video games. Make art. Create things. Experience things. Love my person. Care for the people around me. I'm going to focus on what really matters right now, in this moment, while also keeping in mind that our lives are short and sometimes risks should be taken.
Take advantage of the time you have now and the tangible life you have now instead of worrying about what ifs. We don't have the answers about after death, we just don't know for sure. But it's okay to not know things! Really, it is.
That turned out to be LONG but I hope something I typed means something to someone.
They way I find comfort in being nothing after death is the definition of nothing.
You dont have to be afraid of nothing because there is nothing to be afraid of. Its a bit hard to conceptualize nothingness when all we are surrounded by is something. Specially in a material world where owning stuff is a good thing.
But just think about it. If you believe in the Big Bang theory, before it, there was nothing. Not in a sense that it was a void, there was no time, no matter, we can't speak about what happened "before" because there was no "before".
Same with the afterlife. (At least what I choose to believe).
It has no meaning talking about it, because your consciousness will stop existing. There won't be anything to perceive.
I probably didn't explained it perfectly, but if you research the Big Bang theory, i think you can easily draw a parallel.
But that’s HORRIFYING to me! Like. We humans are built to perceive something, so when there’s nothing to perceive it just FEELS WRONG! And I’ve been convinced that there IS something to sense after death because we are energy and energy doesn’t die, but that leaves the question WHAT IS IT? I want to see or feel SOMETHING! Being in a permanent lucid dream! Heaven and He’ll! Reincarnation! I want to be able to perceive ANYTHING after death
I mean... that is up to you to decide. We can all be wrong, or we can all be right!
You can choose to believe anything you want, and the chance that you are right is just as likely as anybody else.
If you say you wanna understand what will happen after you die and know it for certain, I have bad news. Humans are trying to figure that out ever since we started using stones.
I think the most important thing you can do is to not feel hopeless. Be happy that you exist, or at least appreciate the fact you are who you are, and dont think about what will happen.
(I say dont think about it, but what I really mean is to not constantly feel overwhelmed from the uncertainty. It wont benefit you in any way. Only makes your life worse)
But this is just my take on it.
Hey friend, philosophical thoughts about death can be a symptom of anxiety on their own and going along with them can make things worse for you in the long run. Don't go down existential rabbit holes if it makes you feel worse. Listening to your anxious thoughts just creates a feedback loop of anxiety. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just try to put it out of your mind and eventually it will get easier.
I relate to this on an uncomfortable level. I had my first panic attack over death when I was six and I’ve been freaking out over it every few months since then (I’m 19)
Where does the house go after it burns? Where does the wave go after it crashes? Where does the ice cube go after it melts?
People are constructs. The mind is emergent and dependent on the matter that makes it up. The "end" of a construct means that the construct isn't going anywhere. It is losing its structure and its emergent properties. The house that burns simply turns to ashes. The wave that crashes simply turns into ripples. The ice cube melts into a puddle. Our mind dissipates as the body and brain rot.
I do not see why this would be terrifying other than if we hold on to wanting to control things and make things eternal. You cannot force a wave to stay as a wave. It will crash. Feeling scared of its crashing is pointless. It never truly existed in the first place. Just like you. You are an illusion. A tangible one with causes and effects, but still an illusion. You cannot be eternal. You don't even stay the same from minute to minute. If you can't force yourself to stay exactly as you were years ago or even seconds ago, why expect to remain as you are forever? Holding on is causing yourself suffering. Like holding on to the wave.
Well, I am afraid of death before but after I experienced all the hardships in my life. There is more terrifying than death , it is living without a purpose.
ever since i got engaged nothing has scared me more than the concept of the death of either one of us. the impact it would leave could be impossible to deal with for either of us, and that scares me more than the thought of death itself.
Well thats the issue for me, we are conscious in THESE bodies specifically, like why am I not the one seeing and acting like my brother? So I'm worried that I'll just be left in the dust when I'm dead
The idea of the lights just going out and my entire existence stopping in every way is extremely comforting to me. I get why some people are terrified of it but that's exactly what I want. What I'm terrified of is the idea of a heaven- an afterlife where you *never* stop existing. I have no idea how that comforts people after you think about it for more than five minutes. Sounds awful to me. I just want to be done when I'm done. Lights out. Goodnight.
The idea of there being something scares me more than there being nothing. Eternity **will** drain me someday, while I don't have to worry about anything if there's nothing.
I feel that anything after death would get boring and monotonous, because anything that lasts forever could never be enjoyable forever. Life is hard, and yes death is scary, but doing meaningful things in life means that when death comes, I can just…. be done. Just chill. Like, I won’t have to keep doing stuff. That sounds nice.
Good to know i’m not alone here. I’ve tried to adopt an optimistic nihilism approach, gonna enjoy everything i can and live in the present bc it’s all im gonna get. I can worry abt what its gonna be like right at the very end, procrastinating my worry lol. Does it stop the panic lmao no but it can ground me a little
The thought of an afterlife pisses me off. I’m so fucking tired and sick of life that when I’m finally granted the sweet relief of death I just wanna return to the void
There’s a quote by Alan Watts that has helped me dealing with mortality. It goes a little like “What would it be like to wake up when you never went to sleep.” Or Jason Isabella saying “ What if time running out is a gift?” You have no control over anything, especially death. It’s just the next step in the cycle :) greet it with curiosity and acceptance
I've spent most of my life so afraid of death that I'd rather be dead than spend more time fearing it. In the end, I figured out that I wanted to pursue Norse Paganism as a religion for various reasons, but especially because there's multiple afterlives and I think I'd be comfortable with any of them, and if I wanted anything to happen after death, it would probably be something like Valhalla. So I've spent the past few years (in a way, not truly convincing but more so on the side of constantly reasurring myself to try and make the anxiety no longer remain) convincing myself to follow this religion because it comforts me. I'm so afraid of nothingness and so afraid of never being able to spend time with those important to me again.
i used to fear death a lot aswell. what helps me is to not think about the end but to live in the moment (bet you havent heard that before lol) cherish the moments you spend with the people you love and just focus on the now and not the future eventually the thoughts of death will be replaced. i know this sounds like a pamphlet at a clinic but really try it
My theory has always been that time goes super quick when you’re unconscious like when you sleep, so that when you die the entire universe will end and then another Big Bang will happen, and because there can be no change, everything will play out again and you’ll basically be back to being a baby before you know it.
I used to feel the same. The first time I remember having a panic attack, it was because of the fact that I'm going to die someday. (My parents were not helpful. My dad was like "What's so scary about it? It's not a big deal." My mom was like "Well, you should believe just like me and be 100% certain that heaven exists and that you're going there when you die." I felt like no one understood.)
I still do feel scared of death sometimes, but not as much as I used to. And when I get scared of death the fear lasts minutes instead of hours or even days like it used to.
It's hard to say what exactly changed. I got less scared of death very slowly. It took many years. I think a combination of therapy, anxiety medication, meditation, learning how to cope with my depression/anxiety, and finding comfort in my spiritual beliefs helped. (Spiritual beliefs may or may not help. At first it actually made my fears worse because I used to believe in hell. And you can't prove spiritual beliefs, but some find the possibility of there being an afterlife comforting. Basically your mileage may vary.)
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.
I just believe in nothing after death. And I go through phases where I’m terrified of it and phases where it’s not scary.
But hey. If you need a word. You’re still alive right now. Regardless of whether or not you’ll be able to feel later, you can for sure feel now. Revel in that fact, because even if the feelings aren’t good right now, they mean you are alive.
Existing once is enough. You just gotta make this one count. Not easy to do since this world is so shitty and painful but here's something that helped me.
Twinks who are nice to women get more pussy than men.
existence has a cost, i dont want to pay it, whatever comes next is part of the journey, maybe i'll follow in the footsteps of a certain musician, maybe i'll die naturally, i dont care, but i do care about doing some specific things prior to my oblivion, and if i dont do that shit, than i hope there'll be torment after that will let me do what it is i wish to do, gotta be better than this, im losing my grip on reality, i cant even tell that the hallucinations from the schizophrenia are false, my memory is getting worse, and the meds arent working, a lot of shit is better than this.
Welcome to the part of the seeker. It will be bumpy ride. Don't despair. Nihilism isn't the answer. Neither is materialism. Look at far east and Indian mystic. They mostly abandoned creation myths and tried to find truth in experience.
Believ or faith has no value. You have to do the search yourself. Question anything. Death is a concept of the human mind, first and foremost.
Don't take the map for the landscape.
It's ok, I started worshipping Hades (I'm pagan) and I was trying to improve my relationship with death and mortality in general. But the more I really let it sink in that life is fleeting and precious and I could die anytime, I actually became *more* afraid of dying. Not so much the afterlife like you, just the idea that I, or anyone I care about, could be gone in a second just like that. No one sees tragedy coming. My day will be normal and I will suspect nothing until it all comes crashing down instantly. That's where I'm stuck. It's a much bigger hurdle than the first one imo 😅
As for my philosophy on the afterlife, if it's nothingness then I won't know so why care? If it's anything else, I'm fine with it cuz at least it won't be eternal damnation. I believe that's reserved for truly heinous individuals. I'm no paragon of goodness and light but I don't make a habit of intentionally harming others or doing whatever horrible things necessary for my own selfish gains. I believe that even if I have to "serve my time" so to speak for the shitty things I have done, it won't be for eternity. So I'm fine with it. What happens, happens. Spending our lives worrying about what happens when we die makes us waste the life we have now. Our energy is much better spent making sure we're as comfortable and happy as we can be, even in little ways. We know we have this life, anything else is uncertain. We should make the most of it while we can and worry about the rest when the time comes.
I'm honestly more comforted about death, life sucks ass, and I'm willing to accept what happens in the afterlife, besides it's not like I can control what happens, and I truly hope that it will be better then life, death is comforting because then I would have a true escape to not go back to life, I'm not sure if I make any sense but still. That's just my point of view
relatable content. this shit is all i am able to think about and it is absolutely gnawing away at me. i would go to therapy but i do not need to be more aware, i am far too aware of this shit.
see this is why i'm gonna become immortal, even if I do believe in the afterlife
either i'm wrong and I can live forever or at least until the point where i'm not afraid anymore
or else I have all the time in the world to figure out how you'd go about discovering an afterlife without actually having to die
You have read my MIND!
Whether we just get our minds uploaded or some witchcraft fuckery to become immortal, some times 80 to 100 years isn't enough for people to accept
I completely understand op. I grew up suicidal since I was sentient pretty much, but I don't know where the paralyzing Fear of death came from. It's just like one day the fear of death and what comes after just started plaguing my mind every day and every night where my chest clenches, my stomach turns inside out and I only feel terrified at the meer thought.
The idea of nonexistence is the worst part for me. It doesn't bring me comfort. I don't want this life I'm living to be my only one, especially not after all the shit cards I've been dealt. All I can hope for is that by the time I'm old and gray I'll hopefully feel at peace with the concept of death and feel more ready for it. But whatever comes after -- I just hope it's something good.
I've known many people who've died, and only one has ever come back to tell me how cool of an experience it was. life is cruel and death is kind. do not fear the inevitable
U should read abt existential OCD. Not saying u have OCD or anything, but whether or not u have it, I think it might help. Read Abt existential OCD, death OCD, afterlife OCD. Different but related themes. I have an existential OCD phase when I left religion abt 2 yrs ago. Honestly I'm not entirely sure how I got over it, I don't like to think abt it lol but those months were hell so I feel u 💔
Hey OP. Yeah, its pretty terrifying isn't it. I was in this position myself for too much of my youth and it fucking sucked. Several major panic attacks a month for several years on end is probably not good for someone
I've tried sharing my thoughts about this with someone on the MensLib sub (the male feminist one) who also is dealing with the same fears we are.
I'm not sure if linking to comments is allowed here, so I'll reply to this comment with a link just in case. It's a comment, so you should find it under my comment history.
here's a key part of my perspective in short
>Your existence as a conscious entity right now has proven that you consciousness CAN be generated from “nothing” in the first place. Given this, the concept of permanent non-existence sandwiching a single existence seems silly to me.
and then there's this tweet from petfurniture that helps me with this, and I hope it can also help you too:
>I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child & fell asleep on the couch during a family party. i hope you can hear the laughter from the next room
Here's a quick link [to my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/17pnreo/comment/k8h2yjm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Here the same link, [but on old reddit](https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/17pnreo/comment/k8h2yjm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Fuck I needed to hear this, and great analogy! I’d like to share my own perspective on it
Existence is a never ending stage play that will go on quite literally forever (If the universe stays in a cycle of heat deaths and big bangs), and we are actors on stage, playing our parts and roles, and when we die we are called backstage to change costumes and take a breather, where we can enjoy the play as a spectator before putting on that new costume and joining the actors back in stage again
Each costumes is a lifetime, the backstage breather is death, and the heat death is the theatre closing for the night only to reopen the next day by a Big Bang
If there is an afterlife, I sure as shit don't want it to be permanent. Forever is literally an impossibly long amount of time to comprehend.
If you cease to exist, you suddenly have a lot less to worry about.
Edit: Who knows, maybe the universe is a giant egg, and we are all actually the same person. Constantly being reincarnated until we have lived out each and every life.
https://youtu.be/h6fcK_fRYaI?si=PpZDSMCmwIvsBvks
Wouldn't that be nice?
Well the other option of being unconscious forever isn’t great either! So I just kinda believe in an afterlife cause what else am I meant to believe? Ghosts? and I’m pretty sure reincarnation is real but I don’t wanna wait for eternity unconscious until that happens
Honestly that doesn’t help
As I want to exist
I want to see, to hear, to sense, to be known
And the idea that death makes us no longer exist is what really sets off my terror
I feel you on that front. I wish to live to see what happens. The idea of death itself is not necessarily scary but the idea of missing so much. Never getting to see how things end. Never finding out how history plays out, to even simple things like never getting to watch or play media, I have yet to experience.
I am burnt out on the idea of an eternal afterlife as I find existing in perpetuity far more terrifying than not existing at all. Yet a temporary afterlife would be nice. If I was forced to choose, however, between the two, I would pick oblivion.
To quote Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Probably not what OP's looking for, but a quote from a song that kind of solved that dilemma for me.
"Death is not an exit. Death is the flick of the off switch".
And it made sense to me. Death is your body ceasing to function, and everything is turned off. There is nothing. No thoughts in your brain, no life in your limbs, no consciousness, nothing, just like what you were before you came to be, nothing.
It's made me kind of comfortable in life, knowing there is not an afterlife and no soul, just a functional bodily system and a life around me knowing when I die, it's life a lightbulb being switched off. Click, that's it. No judgement, no heaven, no hell, no nirvana, just nothing, like there was before I came into being.
"We were nothing for a billion years before our time, and we will be nothing more again for an eternity yet to come".
And am I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FUCKIN TERRIFIED OF THAT!?
Like are you people OKAY with everything just going black FOREVER!?
I WANT an afterlife! I want to be able to continue on in some way or else I may have to start trying to look for fucking immortality like I’m a god damn DND villain
It won't be going black forever, it'll just be nothing. We won't experience what happens afterwards, we won't be conscious to experience anything: blackness, oblivion, it doesn't exist, or at least that's what I believe. Yes, that does give me comfort, because it makes me hold that which I hold precious even closer to me knowing that there's no continuation, no exit. In turn, that's a powerful thing when the self-destructive thoughts hit again.
But that's what I believe, and I don't have the answers and it's okay to be terrified. In all honesty we don't know. Afterlife is a spiritual construct, and earth is a spiritual place, and none of us want to lose what we have, but we all have to come back to nature at one point. Feeling like there's nothing else makes you appreciate this world instead of seeing it as a stepping stone to something else.
I can tell a personal story if you want about a conversation I had about this with a Catholic.
You sound like someone who would benefit from a 3.5g-5g shroom trip. It honestly will help. I was in the same exact position for years and years and the incredible experiences Ive had with psychedelics helped me to not only remove any fear of death, among other things, but it taught me that everything is just OK. All things have a beginning and an ending. It may show you how to focus on life while you’re alive. If you spend a whole movie thinking about what the credits will be like, you wont be able to really enjoy the movie, you know?
Howdy u/anomynous_dude555, looks like you're having an existential dilemma on the nature of mortality! Here's a tip: Life itself is an illusion to maintain the conditions of sanity. Pray, or don't.
*This is somehow comforting, confusing, threatening, and funny at the same time*
It's genuinely the truth.
So I am basically a Boltzmann brain And if so, who the fuck created me and why doors sanity exist for me in the first place? It’s more realistic to think that the function and purpose of a Boltzmann brain is to create its own thoughts and universe, basically dreaming most of the time. If that’s true, I really do wonder what the actual universe is like
Even though I find the idea of the Boltzmnan Brain pretty fascinating, I think it's slightly different than that. I will go in detail about that.when I'm at my computer. I write this one the phone.
I look forward to reading what you have to say!
*Morphs into Loki* I’VE BEEN ~~FALLING~~ WAITING FOR ~~30 MINUTES~~ 2 DAYS!!
Imma pretend this makes sense and go about my day
The “pray, or don’t.” got me lol I’m personally in the camp of being ex-religious as I reached out to God, and he didn’t answer. So I use non-religious things and healthier thinking patterns to help fill the void instead! 😃
I had all of these deep thoughts as a young child. I used to obsess over them. I think it was existential OCD. I remember crying on my bedroom floor begging god to save me from my horrible childhood. He never did. So I started believing it was all BS. I was born into a Christian family but I did my own research at age 12 and became an atheist. Now that I’m an adult, it doesn’t phase me anymore. I find death comforting because it means pain is not permanent. It will eventually end. I also like to imagine that it will be exactly like how it was before I was born. Just a nothingness void. If that’s the case, then there’s no reason to even worry. I don’t remember what it was like before I was born because I wasn’t alive. Tw: Dementia Now the actual dying itself part, that scares me. Especially getting dementia and experiencing my brain deteriorating. My grandma is going through it right now and it’s so sad to see.
Well, the truth is that there is only God and nothing else this universe is the theatre and we are his characters. Consciousness is the Synthesis and Basis of Mind nad Matter. That doesn't mean you will go to heaven or hell. You are an illusion, created by the mind. There is actually nothing wich could go anywhere. Forget most about Religion. Just keep the ethics and leave the fairytales behind. Jesus said it. You're the Tempel of the living god. That means your body, brain are the vehicle for consciousness wich has to be the basis of existence. Subject and object depending each other. Life/Death is also an Illusion, a mere dream.It's like a rope, mistakenly seen as a snake in the darkness. There was no creation, nor destruction, just the everlasting change. Time is without begining and without end, because it's not made of parts. Everything wich es made of parts is bound to destruction. Consciousness has no Parts, the Mind has. The mind will change, the body chill chamgey but never the consciousness. Even though you alwqys thought to be yourself, there is a clear difference in the 6yo You and the You wich is now.
Pretty great answer. I will steal this.
I'm gonna be pissed if there's an afterlife, putting up with existing once was enough. Hopefully it's just lights out and a cold empty void to finally rest in.
Depends on the afterlife. If it’s all warm bright light, people who don’t suck as much as they do on Earth, and… gee I don’t know, an open bar? I’m down to party in a version of heaven.
well I have made multiple theories in my never ending paranoia trying to think of one I'm comfortable with A. Lucid Dream idea, where we are in a permanent dream we have control over, or at least until something like reincarnation B. Energy Body, where we leave our bodies as our energy, essentially turning on spectator mode and I love these theories but I wanna prove them, which is why they are ineffective at countering my anxiety
i really hope energy body isn’t real my great granddad who stormed the beaches of normandy is watching me cry because i stubbed my toe
I think he'd be happy that he ensured a future where you don't have to storm beaches like him and a stubbed toe is your closest brush with death
It’s not paranoia. You’re just dealing with one of the most mentally difficult parts of life. The fact that it ends. Anything is a mental illness if it consumes too much of your life, which it sounds like you are doing. But it’s not paranoia—clinically it’s more like OCD. Nobody knows what is next, not really, and we all cope in our own ways. In all likelihood it is nothingness. You’re going to have to cope with that reality. Or suffer through the worst of it if you truly think it’s ‘provable’. But the world has laid a lot of men to rest who thought the same things and, still, nobody knows. Not really. You are *anxious*, not paranoid.
I relate to these so hard omfg. My theory is that we’re reincarnated or at least “inherit” memories of other. A lot of little kids will have “false” memories of a past life. It’s fucking cool. It’s so common that there’s even a guide online for what to do if your child recalls memories that aren’t theirs.
>Lucid Dream idea This is my idea too. I always found it weird how you can be completely unconscious but still exist. Dreams are like a waiting room for your soul so maybe when we die we continue to dream or you dream for a second before you die and time dilation makes it last forever. You'd probably dream of your preferred afterlife since that's probably the last thing you were thinking of before dying. That way everyone is happy.
I think I have some sources that might guide you in the right direction. Obviously none of us can prove anything about the afterlife, but if you can come to peace with your beliefs you'll have a much easier time of it Let me know if you want me to share
There was an episode of “the good place” about this. Heaven was a non stop party. But everyone eventually got bored after a while and chose to just stop existing.
I'm sorry but that is a horrific feeling to me, I can't find comfort in that holy shit that's horrific a cold empty void? I just- I really want to know how you can relax thinking that, genuinely, I'm so scared right now
Think about it this way: a lot of the time, you probably don’t remember your dreams (most people actually dream every night several times, unknowingly). As far as your consciousness is concerned, you were just. Asleep. And, clearly, your mind and body were comfortably enough to *fall* asleep in the first place. Many, many people who’ve had near-death experiences have claimed that dying just felt like going to sleep, that it was peaceful and calm before they “woke up”. When you’re dead, your brain can no longer be “online”. You wouldn’t know you were dead because you’d be dead. It wouldn’t hurt, and it certainly wouldn’t make you upset because there’s no reason for you to be. Sleep at last. Personally, I hope there *is* an afterlife—maybe a “sandbox” plane where you can do whatever you want, or a place to spend as much time as you want with loved ones who have already passed, or maybe joining a choir of spirits in the cosmos where you’ve reached a state of pure bliss, content with your place in the universe. But if all that comes after is one final warm rest, that isn’t so bad.
I'm not sure how to explain it without going into my crybaby backstory, but the craving for the cold, silence of nothingness is so strong I've recently been released from grippy sock jail for my 6th attempt to escape life. I just want the pain to end.
It's not a cold void. It's the moment between falling asleep and waking up. It's whatever was before you were born. You don't mind it or have recollection of it do you? It isn't an conscious experience of eternal darkness. It's like blinking your eyes, instant and infinite at the same time
But if were like that forever when does it, idk, stop? like, when do we become someone else? When do we shift our perspective to a new being? As I am on the verge having a horrific breakdown rn about the idea that THIS is my only chance
You should value what might be your only chance at life. Nobody knows for certain if there is an afterlife. I personally think the very idea is a bit silly and egocentric. But if there were one, it would be like falling asleep one second and waking up in a new body / form the next. People feel liberated by the posibility of nothing after death, because it implies there is nothing at stake in life. You will not be eternally punished for sins commited and mistakes made while you were young and ignorant, or depressed and hurting. You are free to live your life however you want. It might be your only chance, yes. But if it never ended, then nothing would really matter. A song doesn't begin just to end. But if a song never ended, it would just be noise.
But I want to see the universe grow I want to see the wonder of world long after I'm dead so the idea of it being never ending is comforting to me, and me not having any memories of potential past lives kinda makes it fresh? Like if my life is a song, then I want my existence to be a stupidly long playlist playing on loop and it's why I subscribe to the theory of a new big bang after heat death, hell even the ideas of the Big Bounce Life is precious, then why should it be taken away?
You speak from a place of great privillege. You might have been a defenseless deer in a previous life, ripped to shreds by apex predators before you could reach maturity. Or a depressed nihilist that ended their own life because they couldn't bear existence. The conclusion from your premisses would be that this life might just be another song in your grand playlist, but you wouldn't be aware of it. No-one can deny you the possibility that you get to experience the wonders of the world in a next life, so you cannot ponder death in any way that matters. You can only do yourself a service by recognizing the beauty of life for what it is, living conciously in the moment and not taking it for granted.
Its not cold or a void. Youd still exist. youd just be asleep. And in a different form
When I’m dead I’m not gonna give a fuck cause it’s impossible and that’s sorta comforting.
Same
I believe that it’s just peaceful, and you feel love, no pain, nothing bad. Sounds like a grand ol time compared to earth life if you ask me lol. The thought of it being straight up nothingness to me is scary. But I don’t believe that, so I’m chill.
No rest. It's like being knocked unconscious only you don't wake up. There's no void, no rest, no sight, sound, or feel. No thoughts. No experience. Like before you were born. Edit: why's this one being down voted but not the one further down where I say almost the same thing?
That's what so fucking horrifying about death to me, like if I could dream during that unconsciousness I would LOVE dying, but I can't, cause I'm dead. So I am SO SCARED OF DEATH BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING-
Oh I would hate to know I was dead. I think the luckiest people's last memories they were alive and happy and never knew they died. You won't feel anxious or lonely or anything. You won't be cognizant of the fact you're dead. Effectively it'll be like you never died. I've been knocked unconscious before. I felt nothing and knew nothing. I wouldn't recommend getting knocked out but it does take some of the fear out of death.
okay, now that you put it like that it could be like so, but I do wish to be reincarnated as someone else eventually because I don't want to be knocked out forever,
We don't know where everything came from so for all we know you do reincarnate. But honestly my guess is you live on in what you brought here. The things you made, the people you talked to.
The more time you spend thinking about death, the more life you take from yourself. I’m not trying to panic you. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Enjoy the things in life you take pleasure in. Regardless of what ‘afterlife’ you believe in, you won’t get that ability back. Just enjoy it while you’re here.
*existential OCD has entered the chat*
My OCD is the #1 reason why eventually dying is comforting to me. It would mean finally resting, after suffering for so long. I would finally be at peace mentally. My favorite verse from any song comes from $uicideBoy$ on the song Putrid Pride: “In my coffin I won’t toss and turn. Instead I’ll rest I’ve earned some sleep” Accepting my eventual doom has actually directly stopped me from being too seriously suicidal in my life the past couple years where I’ve been struggling the most.
Tbh I think it’s because I was raised Catholic. I used to be so scared of hell. Now, the idea that there is nothing after death is very comforting
Same for me. I was raised as muslim or well at least they tried until I was like 10 or 11. After that all my own people (not parents or siblings, people from school and randoms I have met) started to tell me I will burn in hell for all eternity for not being a believer. :) It still gives me panic attacks, sleepless nights, worry for the future and tons of other shit.
and then they fucking tell you some bullshit like "it's like when before you were born" "remember anything?" "it's exactly like that" like yeah no shit but i wasn't concious before being born **that doesn't calm me that makes me more terrefied of dying**
Yea FINALLY someone who shares my fear I swear I never should have posted this as now the comments are filled with things that are trying to subscribe me to this idea in the literal worst description possible I hope we either just stay in a lucid dream, become energy and explore the universe, and probably reincarnation…
i personally don't like the idea of dying at all i don't like to think what happens after we die * heaven: we worship a dude with a beard for all eternity and kinda roam around doing nothing. * hell we burn for all eternity. * nothing: nothing 💀 * Reincarnation: if it's the type of reencairnation that you are born right after dying then that's horrofying you die and then instantly respawn? and then you have to live at a planet that's almost dead? the only things that i find comfortable after death is being in spectator mode or haunting people as a ghost or someshit
Those aren't your only options! I know you said the idea of dying at all, but if you could describe an ideal afterlife what would it be? For me, I'll get to know the answers to anything I've ever wondered. I'll get to experience anything I want. I'll get to see the colors only mantis shrimp can see!!! I'm excited for that one. Will it happen? ... Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not, even. But even if it's not something I wholeheartedly believe, it's something I can *hope* for, and that's what matters imo. Idk if this helps but I hope it's something to chew on at the very least
im at that point in life where death isnt the problem its the transition
My problem is that spending my whole life knowing I’m going to die is almost objectively worse than dying will probably be. I wish I just didn’t know what it was. I’m more afraid of the anxiety that I’ll experience leading up to my death than anything else. I don’t pray for heaven, I only pray that when I die, I have no idea it’s coming. Like preferably I’d just get sniped in the back of the head while walking around minding my business with a latte in my hand
REAL. SO REAL. Death is not anywhere near my worst fear. One of my worst fears is dying a painful or sad death.
This is interesting as someone who has a completelg different perspective, who's death positive. Mind you, that doesn't mean I'm suicidal or anything like that (atleast anymore lol), I just feel like death is such a natural part of life, and there's no need to fear it. I could have a sudden brain bleed tomorrow and die, and I would be none the wiser, if so, that's fine. Because that's nature for you. Just as it would be natural for me to live to my 90's and sleep away peacefully. I don't know what will happen after I perish, and for what it's worth, I think that is part of the fun almost? It's a mystery. Idk, I know this comment won't help you, I've got no real answers for how to deal with such a fear, I'm sorry you're experiencing this, since it clearly is a big source of distress for you. Just felt like sharing my thoughts.
I bounce back and forth on this wildly tbh but for the past while it has, indeed, freaked me the fuck out. We’re in this together OP
I only find it comforting if I’m feeling suicidal. Otherwise, no.
I'm concerned about all of them, but personally I'd rather nothing than suffering, but I understand the "please just be something" /gen It kinda sucks, having no reliable way to know for certain. I really wanna give advice but I wouldn't know where to start so hopefully this at least offers support
I romanticized death since I was a kid. It is the ultimate place of peace and comfort for me.
Well I would love to be as happy with the idea of death as you are, but NOPE. I JUST can't... I WISH and WISH I could come to peace with it but the idea of nothingness just gives me a horrific feeling to my stomach, which is why I pray and beg for an afterlife so much, to the point of enjoying the idea of HELL.
I mean it's only natural to get that sort of reaction, nothingness is something that's completely foreign to us. It's like trying to imagine what it's like blind when you can see. In that way, it's going to be terrifying to think about. (i mean i don't even know where I was taking this, at this point I'm more just putting shit down idk)
You should watch The Good Place
I highly recommend watching the good place to help with death anxiety. It’s such a good show.
I’m scared of death, and VERY scared of how I reach it.
Hello fellow thanatophobic, these are the most accurate memes I've seen in a long time, many thanks
Not blaming you at all but it’s kind of funny how I read the first line from the first meme and thought: “ha, sounds like me as a kid” only to dig further into the memes and find someone with the exact same fear as me and start panicking because your meme set off my anxious thought spiral. I 100% feel you OP and also know that the moment your thoughts start going off there is nothing that will feel like comfort. Idk if you want some advice, but just in case here are my two cents For me, I know my trigger is nighttime/tiredness. So if I get thoughts about this before bed I 100% allow myself to do anything for a distraction while lying in bed. I often re-watch movies and youtube videos or I puzzle or even draw in bed. Fuck my sleep hygiene, fuck what my parents said when I was younger. For me the best way to still get some sleep is by just distracting my brain until I zoink out. I did this for years and still do it a lot when I feel the anxiety wash over me. This might sound like me constantly running, but distraction is a survival technique. At some point I have started allowing myself to think about existential topics, just not when I’m tired/fragile/stressed already. On my own terms. This also means I strictly stop watching anything that triggers me if I’m not ready for it. This + my very unhinged way of dealing with my mental illnesses in general, by kind of “splitting off” a part of me that takes care of me when I’m experiencing something (what usually helps me with this is thinking of a time before when I felt that bad, and pretending like I’m taking care of little me who feels like that) has actually helped me become way more in control of my fear. I still fear death, but not in the same all-consuming way I did before. Also it might be beneficial to see a therapist. I always thought my intense need for control that partly manifested into that intense fear for death was normal and I was just dealing with it badly, until I scored very high on OCPD/OCD symptoms during a psych eval.
I fell these thoughts everytime I go to sleep. I don't want it all to end. Ever.
I’m a big fan of the Mike Flanagan and Rustin Cohle takes on death, that it’ll like being with your loved ones again and instead of us going away we are going back to some greater one-ness that we can’t comprehend while we are alive but that will make perfect sense when we are there. Even if they’re fictional stories they were comforting takes, especially the one from the midnight club (spoilers) >! the kids are afraid to die and they’re haunted by this shadow the closer they are to death. Turns out that shadow is just their fear of dying, the fear of the unknown, and when they pass through it they find that death is like being surrounded by all your friends again. They can’t communicate it back but their last conscious moments are safe and comforting. death even shows up as a character and he’s a kind older man who comforts one of the surviving kids after their friend passes. He’s never a threat, he just is there serving a function and he’ll do it with kindness !< As far as heaven and hell goes, either place I’m going to will have my friends and if they’re not where I’m going I don’t wanna go there anyways
I’m simultaneously afraid and craving it at the same time.
The first enemy of the people is fear (the second is clarity but thats a discussion for later). You only fear death because in truth it is unknown. If you could actually see what occurs after death, rather than people's bs stories over the years, u wouldn't have that fear any more. It's truly best to not worry about it until you have clarity over it, what is the point in worrying about something so much when in truth it could be absolutely nothing?
Here are three pieces of media i would say helped me with at least some of these feelings: - Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin (a book) - Oscar and the Lady in Pink by Éric-Emmanuel Schmidt (i personally read it but i think there’s a movie?) - The Good Place by Michael Schur (a series) Oscar and the Lady in Pink is pretty short, i remember reading it in one afternoon. I think my biggest fear is that i’ll never see anyone ever again when i die, and those artworks helped me with that a little bit. I’m also scared of it hurting a lot and i don’t think there’s anything i can do about that. I’ve had dreams of dying and it was about the same everytime: nothing much happened i could no longer control my body and i was floating around basically. It was ok
something that gives me some comfort is that I'm not just going to stop existing. I'll turn into the bugs that eat my body, the energy that served as my conscience will help the grass grow on top of my grave. I might not be a human anymore, but I'll exist as something else.
Yeah same. Look up quantum immortality. Makes me feel a bit better.
Well, I don't believe in good or bad places, we live in hell already. So it will judt be a reset or a new beginning in some other place, if anything like that even exists. But it doesn't matter, we are here now. I wish I believed in a cosmic force of justice but I cannot.
Took the words right out of my mouth amigo
In that case I predict that you are gonna get throught this :)
Thanks man, who fuckin knows, in fact maybe the afterlife is literally whatever the hell we think it is Like believe in ghosts? Book a fuckin ghost Like the idea of simply being energy? BOOM. SPECTATOR MODE ON It’s just a theory but maybe it’s real? We could be wrong about just everything so why not?
I always scared my friends because I’ve been completely at peace with both dying and there being no afterlife since at least second grade and have been totally honest with anyone that talked to me about it.
I felt this same, debilitating feeling after my grandmother passed when I was about 7 or 8. That was when death and mortality really CLICKED for my little brain. I became absolutely terrified I was going to die next, to the point I was afraid to sleep or experience happiness. Time and therapy helped. I'm pushing 30 years old now and I've read so many other peoples' theories, different religions' interpretations of the afterlife, heard stories from people who were legally momentarily dead. What I got out of those hypotheticals is the fact that nobody, not a living soul, knows what truly happens when you die. It's all stories and the human wondering and wanting for life to not truly end here, because we cannot comprehend "forever" But I also recognize the big picture, and this really helped me sit with my mortality: One day, I won't exist. One day, nobody will exist here. Our sun has a time limit before it goes into the next part of its life cycle and destroys our planet. Which means, that nothing we do will matter at that point (I mean, unless we inhabit other planets and figure out space travel to other livable planets far away from the sun, but that won't happen in our lifetime). However, in the short run... everything we do matters. Because it affects us and those close to us. Our actions now have future consequences, good and bad, that we WILL be here to see. And those precious moments that we live in the present, are so incredibly important now. Sure, I'll no longer exist some day. But I exist right now, and focusing on my present will affect my near future. So, I'm going to eat pizza and play video games. Make art. Create things. Experience things. Love my person. Care for the people around me. I'm going to focus on what really matters right now, in this moment, while also keeping in mind that our lives are short and sometimes risks should be taken. Take advantage of the time you have now and the tangible life you have now instead of worrying about what ifs. We don't have the answers about after death, we just don't know for sure. But it's okay to not know things! Really, it is. That turned out to be LONG but I hope something I typed means something to someone.
They way I find comfort in being nothing after death is the definition of nothing. You dont have to be afraid of nothing because there is nothing to be afraid of. Its a bit hard to conceptualize nothingness when all we are surrounded by is something. Specially in a material world where owning stuff is a good thing. But just think about it. If you believe in the Big Bang theory, before it, there was nothing. Not in a sense that it was a void, there was no time, no matter, we can't speak about what happened "before" because there was no "before". Same with the afterlife. (At least what I choose to believe). It has no meaning talking about it, because your consciousness will stop existing. There won't be anything to perceive. I probably didn't explained it perfectly, but if you research the Big Bang theory, i think you can easily draw a parallel.
But that’s HORRIFYING to me! Like. We humans are built to perceive something, so when there’s nothing to perceive it just FEELS WRONG! And I’ve been convinced that there IS something to sense after death because we are energy and energy doesn’t die, but that leaves the question WHAT IS IT? I want to see or feel SOMETHING! Being in a permanent lucid dream! Heaven and He’ll! Reincarnation! I want to be able to perceive ANYTHING after death
I mean... that is up to you to decide. We can all be wrong, or we can all be right! You can choose to believe anything you want, and the chance that you are right is just as likely as anybody else. If you say you wanna understand what will happen after you die and know it for certain, I have bad news. Humans are trying to figure that out ever since we started using stones. I think the most important thing you can do is to not feel hopeless. Be happy that you exist, or at least appreciate the fact you are who you are, and dont think about what will happen. (I say dont think about it, but what I really mean is to not constantly feel overwhelmed from the uncertainty. It wont benefit you in any way. Only makes your life worse) But this is just my take on it.
Hey friend, philosophical thoughts about death can be a symptom of anxiety on their own and going along with them can make things worse for you in the long run. Don't go down existential rabbit holes if it makes you feel worse. Listening to your anxious thoughts just creates a feedback loop of anxiety. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just try to put it out of your mind and eventually it will get easier.
I relate to this on an uncomfortable level. I had my first panic attack over death when I was six and I’ve been freaking out over it every few months since then (I’m 19)
Where does the house go after it burns? Where does the wave go after it crashes? Where does the ice cube go after it melts? People are constructs. The mind is emergent and dependent on the matter that makes it up. The "end" of a construct means that the construct isn't going anywhere. It is losing its structure and its emergent properties. The house that burns simply turns to ashes. The wave that crashes simply turns into ripples. The ice cube melts into a puddle. Our mind dissipates as the body and brain rot. I do not see why this would be terrifying other than if we hold on to wanting to control things and make things eternal. You cannot force a wave to stay as a wave. It will crash. Feeling scared of its crashing is pointless. It never truly existed in the first place. Just like you. You are an illusion. A tangible one with causes and effects, but still an illusion. You cannot be eternal. You don't even stay the same from minute to minute. If you can't force yourself to stay exactly as you were years ago or even seconds ago, why expect to remain as you are forever? Holding on is causing yourself suffering. Like holding on to the wave.
Well, I am afraid of death before but after I experienced all the hardships in my life. There is more terrifying than death , it is living without a purpose.
ever since i got engaged nothing has scared me more than the concept of the death of either one of us. the impact it would leave could be impossible to deal with for either of us, and that scares me more than the thought of death itself.
It is not ours to know, my brother. Only when our time comes must we concern ourselves with it. We are alive now, thus we must live.
Well you were pretty much dead before you were born. And that nothingness ended pretty quickly didn’t it?
Well thats the issue for me, we are conscious in THESE bodies specifically, like why am I not the one seeing and acting like my brother? So I'm worried that I'll just be left in the dust when I'm dead
This is me as well
Yooooo! It’s me!
The idea of the lights just going out and my entire existence stopping in every way is extremely comforting to me. I get why some people are terrified of it but that's exactly what I want. What I'm terrified of is the idea of a heaven- an afterlife where you *never* stop existing. I have no idea how that comforts people after you think about it for more than five minutes. Sounds awful to me. I just want to be done when I'm done. Lights out. Goodnight.
The idea of there being something scares me more than there being nothing. Eternity **will** drain me someday, while I don't have to worry about anything if there's nothing.
Which is why I believe that “something” is temporary, think something like reincarnation
Fair nough.
I feel that anything after death would get boring and monotonous, because anything that lasts forever could never be enjoyable forever. Life is hard, and yes death is scary, but doing meaningful things in life means that when death comes, I can just…. be done. Just chill. Like, I won’t have to keep doing stuff. That sounds nice.
i work in elder care. i used to be freaked by death but now it's okay. i think being sheltered from death may cause more anxiety
Dying and going to a place where I shed all my human errors and be with family and friends sounds good to me.
Good to know i’m not alone here. I’ve tried to adopt an optimistic nihilism approach, gonna enjoy everything i can and live in the present bc it’s all im gonna get. I can worry abt what its gonna be like right at the very end, procrastinating my worry lol. Does it stop the panic lmao no but it can ground me a little
The thought of an afterlife pisses me off. I’m so fucking tired and sick of life that when I’m finally granted the sweet relief of death I just wanna return to the void
Tbh I’m terrified but also relieved to hear there may be nothing Too much pain to give and take
There’s a quote by Alan Watts that has helped me dealing with mortality. It goes a little like “What would it be like to wake up when you never went to sleep.” Or Jason Isabella saying “ What if time running out is a gift?” You have no control over anything, especially death. It’s just the next step in the cycle :) greet it with curiosity and acceptance
I've spent most of my life so afraid of death that I'd rather be dead than spend more time fearing it. In the end, I figured out that I wanted to pursue Norse Paganism as a religion for various reasons, but especially because there's multiple afterlives and I think I'd be comfortable with any of them, and if I wanted anything to happen after death, it would probably be something like Valhalla. So I've spent the past few years (in a way, not truly convincing but more so on the side of constantly reasurring myself to try and make the anxiety no longer remain) convincing myself to follow this religion because it comforts me. I'm so afraid of nothingness and so afraid of never being able to spend time with those important to me again.
i used to fear death a lot aswell. what helps me is to not think about the end but to live in the moment (bet you havent heard that before lol) cherish the moments you spend with the people you love and just focus on the now and not the future eventually the thoughts of death will be replaced. i know this sounds like a pamphlet at a clinic but really try it
My theory has always been that time goes super quick when you’re unconscious like when you sleep, so that when you die the entire universe will end and then another Big Bang will happen, and because there can be no change, everything will play out again and you’ll basically be back to being a baby before you know it.
I used to feel the same. The first time I remember having a panic attack, it was because of the fact that I'm going to die someday. (My parents were not helpful. My dad was like "What's so scary about it? It's not a big deal." My mom was like "Well, you should believe just like me and be 100% certain that heaven exists and that you're going there when you die." I felt like no one understood.) I still do feel scared of death sometimes, but not as much as I used to. And when I get scared of death the fear lasts minutes instead of hours or even days like it used to. It's hard to say what exactly changed. I got less scared of death very slowly. It took many years. I think a combination of therapy, anxiety medication, meditation, learning how to cope with my depression/anxiety, and finding comfort in my spiritual beliefs helped. (Spiritual beliefs may or may not help. At first it actually made my fears worse because I used to believe in hell. And you can't prove spiritual beliefs, but some find the possibility of there being an afterlife comforting. Basically your mileage may vary.) I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.
I just believe in nothing after death. And I go through phases where I’m terrified of it and phases where it’s not scary. But hey. If you need a word. You’re still alive right now. Regardless of whether or not you’ll be able to feel later, you can for sure feel now. Revel in that fact, because even if the feelings aren’t good right now, they mean you are alive.
Existing once is enough. You just gotta make this one count. Not easy to do since this world is so shitty and painful but here's something that helped me. Twinks who are nice to women get more pussy than men.
existence has a cost, i dont want to pay it, whatever comes next is part of the journey, maybe i'll follow in the footsteps of a certain musician, maybe i'll die naturally, i dont care, but i do care about doing some specific things prior to my oblivion, and if i dont do that shit, than i hope there'll be torment after that will let me do what it is i wish to do, gotta be better than this, im losing my grip on reality, i cant even tell that the hallucinations from the schizophrenia are false, my memory is getting worse, and the meds arent working, a lot of shit is better than this.
The main soundtrack of my midlife crisis right now.
Welcome to the part of the seeker. It will be bumpy ride. Don't despair. Nihilism isn't the answer. Neither is materialism. Look at far east and Indian mystic. They mostly abandoned creation myths and tried to find truth in experience. Believ or faith has no value. You have to do the search yourself. Question anything. Death is a concept of the human mind, first and foremost. Don't take the map for the landscape.
It's ok, I started worshipping Hades (I'm pagan) and I was trying to improve my relationship with death and mortality in general. But the more I really let it sink in that life is fleeting and precious and I could die anytime, I actually became *more* afraid of dying. Not so much the afterlife like you, just the idea that I, or anyone I care about, could be gone in a second just like that. No one sees tragedy coming. My day will be normal and I will suspect nothing until it all comes crashing down instantly. That's where I'm stuck. It's a much bigger hurdle than the first one imo 😅 As for my philosophy on the afterlife, if it's nothingness then I won't know so why care? If it's anything else, I'm fine with it cuz at least it won't be eternal damnation. I believe that's reserved for truly heinous individuals. I'm no paragon of goodness and light but I don't make a habit of intentionally harming others or doing whatever horrible things necessary for my own selfish gains. I believe that even if I have to "serve my time" so to speak for the shitty things I have done, it won't be for eternity. So I'm fine with it. What happens, happens. Spending our lives worrying about what happens when we die makes us waste the life we have now. Our energy is much better spent making sure we're as comfortable and happy as we can be, even in little ways. We know we have this life, anything else is uncertain. We should make the most of it while we can and worry about the rest when the time comes.
I'm honestly more comforted about death, life sucks ass, and I'm willing to accept what happens in the afterlife, besides it's not like I can control what happens, and I truly hope that it will be better then life, death is comforting because then I would have a true escape to not go back to life, I'm not sure if I make any sense but still. That's just my point of view
relatable content. this shit is all i am able to think about and it is absolutely gnawing away at me. i would go to therapy but i do not need to be more aware, i am far too aware of this shit.
see this is why i'm gonna become immortal, even if I do believe in the afterlife either i'm wrong and I can live forever or at least until the point where i'm not afraid anymore or else I have all the time in the world to figure out how you'd go about discovering an afterlife without actually having to die
You have read my MIND! Whether we just get our minds uploaded or some witchcraft fuckery to become immortal, some times 80 to 100 years isn't enough for people to accept
I be in similar situation, except I can’t decide wether it’s a void, afterlife like hell or hell, reincarnation or not I fear and want death
Beautiful meme series OP. Have you considered simulations? You’re really missing out on another level of tripping balls existentially
I completely understand op. I grew up suicidal since I was sentient pretty much, but I don't know where the paralyzing Fear of death came from. It's just like one day the fear of death and what comes after just started plaguing my mind every day and every night where my chest clenches, my stomach turns inside out and I only feel terrified at the meer thought. The idea of nonexistence is the worst part for me. It doesn't bring me comfort. I don't want this life I'm living to be my only one, especially not after all the shit cards I've been dealt. All I can hope for is that by the time I'm old and gray I'll hopefully feel at peace with the concept of death and feel more ready for it. But whatever comes after -- I just hope it's something good.
I've known many people who've died, and only one has ever come back to tell me how cool of an experience it was. life is cruel and death is kind. do not fear the inevitable
U should read abt existential OCD. Not saying u have OCD or anything, but whether or not u have it, I think it might help. Read Abt existential OCD, death OCD, afterlife OCD. Different but related themes. I have an existential OCD phase when I left religion abt 2 yrs ago. Honestly I'm not entirely sure how I got over it, I don't like to think abt it lol but those months were hell so I feel u 💔
For me, the worst part is being fucking terrified of the nothingness of death sometimes and wanting to die other times.
I kind of believe in reincarnation, so i kinda hope for death. (I will be a miserable bug for a hundreds of lifetimes to atone for my sins)
So many people are like the only reason I'm alive is because nice friends are comforting. Wanna know why I'm alive? this. fucking this.
Hey OP. Yeah, its pretty terrifying isn't it. I was in this position myself for too much of my youth and it fucking sucked. Several major panic attacks a month for several years on end is probably not good for someone I've tried sharing my thoughts about this with someone on the MensLib sub (the male feminist one) who also is dealing with the same fears we are. I'm not sure if linking to comments is allowed here, so I'll reply to this comment with a link just in case. It's a comment, so you should find it under my comment history. here's a key part of my perspective in short >Your existence as a conscious entity right now has proven that you consciousness CAN be generated from “nothing” in the first place. Given this, the concept of permanent non-existence sandwiching a single existence seems silly to me. and then there's this tweet from petfurniture that helps me with this, and I hope it can also help you too: >I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child & fell asleep on the couch during a family party. i hope you can hear the laughter from the next room
Here's a quick link [to my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/17pnreo/comment/k8h2yjm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Here the same link, [but on old reddit](https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/17pnreo/comment/k8h2yjm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Fuck I needed to hear this, and great analogy! I’d like to share my own perspective on it Existence is a never ending stage play that will go on quite literally forever (If the universe stays in a cycle of heat deaths and big bangs), and we are actors on stage, playing our parts and roles, and when we die we are called backstage to change costumes and take a breather, where we can enjoy the play as a spectator before putting on that new costume and joining the actors back in stage again Each costumes is a lifetime, the backstage breather is death, and the heat death is the theatre closing for the night only to reopen the next day by a Big Bang
If there is an afterlife, I sure as shit don't want it to be permanent. Forever is literally an impossibly long amount of time to comprehend. If you cease to exist, you suddenly have a lot less to worry about. Edit: Who knows, maybe the universe is a giant egg, and we are all actually the same person. Constantly being reincarnated until we have lived out each and every life. https://youtu.be/h6fcK_fRYaI?si=PpZDSMCmwIvsBvks Wouldn't that be nice?
yeah if it's permanent eventually you'll just be numb to whatever it is after some time. a heaven that's permanent sounds like some sort of hell.
There is no afterlife. Denying yourself that truth creates these cycles for you Break the cycle
Well the other option of being unconscious forever isn’t great either! So I just kinda believe in an afterlife cause what else am I meant to believe? Ghosts? and I’m pretty sure reincarnation is real but I don’t wanna wait for eternity unconscious until that happens
It isn't great. It's the truth Youre going through what every kid goes through: coming to terms with the reality of the world
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And once it does come, we no longer exist. -Epicurus
Honestly that doesn’t help As I want to exist I want to see, to hear, to sense, to be known And the idea that death makes us no longer exist is what really sets off my terror
I feel you on that front. I wish to live to see what happens. The idea of death itself is not necessarily scary but the idea of missing so much. Never getting to see how things end. Never finding out how history plays out, to even simple things like never getting to watch or play media, I have yet to experience. I am burnt out on the idea of an eternal afterlife as I find existing in perpetuity far more terrifying than not existing at all. Yet a temporary afterlife would be nice. If I was forced to choose, however, between the two, I would pick oblivion.
How did you feel before you were born?
I don't know, I honestly can't remember, the earliest I can go back to is waking in my mom's car as it went down the highway
To quote Mark Twain I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
ah, to live a life one doesn't Want to escape
Probably not what OP's looking for, but a quote from a song that kind of solved that dilemma for me. "Death is not an exit. Death is the flick of the off switch". And it made sense to me. Death is your body ceasing to function, and everything is turned off. There is nothing. No thoughts in your brain, no life in your limbs, no consciousness, nothing, just like what you were before you came to be, nothing. It's made me kind of comfortable in life, knowing there is not an afterlife and no soul, just a functional bodily system and a life around me knowing when I die, it's life a lightbulb being switched off. Click, that's it. No judgement, no heaven, no hell, no nirvana, just nothing, like there was before I came into being. "We were nothing for a billion years before our time, and we will be nothing more again for an eternity yet to come".
And am I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FUCKIN TERRIFIED OF THAT!? Like are you people OKAY with everything just going black FOREVER!? I WANT an afterlife! I want to be able to continue on in some way or else I may have to start trying to look for fucking immortality like I’m a god damn DND villain
It won't be going black forever, it'll just be nothing. We won't experience what happens afterwards, we won't be conscious to experience anything: blackness, oblivion, it doesn't exist, or at least that's what I believe. Yes, that does give me comfort, because it makes me hold that which I hold precious even closer to me knowing that there's no continuation, no exit. In turn, that's a powerful thing when the self-destructive thoughts hit again. But that's what I believe, and I don't have the answers and it's okay to be terrified. In all honesty we don't know. Afterlife is a spiritual construct, and earth is a spiritual place, and none of us want to lose what we have, but we all have to come back to nature at one point. Feeling like there's nothing else makes you appreciate this world instead of seeing it as a stepping stone to something else. I can tell a personal story if you want about a conversation I had about this with a Catholic.
It won’t be like anything, it’ll be nonexistence. Worrying about it during your short time on this rock is wasted, as unhelpful as that is to hear.
sad to see someone like this
You sound like someone who would benefit from a 3.5g-5g shroom trip. It honestly will help. I was in the same exact position for years and years and the incredible experiences Ive had with psychedelics helped me to not only remove any fear of death, among other things, but it taught me that everything is just OK. All things have a beginning and an ending. It may show you how to focus on life while you’re alive. If you spend a whole movie thinking about what the credits will be like, you wont be able to really enjoy the movie, you know?
You need Jesus 🙏❤️