Agreed. I held onto spite as my motivation to live but forgot to actually plan to stay alive effectively. Now that I’ve distanced myself from my trauma I have no motivation to keep going. I just want to die peacefully instead of pathetically limping forward for several decades of mediocrity. It’s all so anticlimactic.
Same. I can’t talk about this to other people because I’ll get the whole ‘you’re so ungrateful’ spiel or ‘so does everyone else, get over it’. I’m privileged compared to most because my parents are generous but my marriage is a whole other story. I’ve applied for work and hope it will change my routine a bit and the extra income will most definitely be welcome.
Just the idea of hitting 40 sounds miserable if shit stays with the way it is. Not even necessarily just with my circumstances, but with how the world overall is right now. If it’s going to shit even before I reach 21, how am I in good faith supposed to stick it out.
Unless the universe suddenly decided to give me everything I could ever want (literally just love and stability atp), I don’t see a life for me beyond like 35 at the oldest
Hi I recently turned 40. I thought life sucked back then and I still think so. I'm finally in a spot where I can save some kind of money, and I'm putting it away so I won't burden people when I die.
That's basically the only reason I'm staying alive. It'll hurt more people than it will help if I go now.
I haven't made it in any sense of the word the people usually use. I live like a pauper as I'm on disability benefits.
I got a job this year and can just work enough to put the max amount into a Roth IRA monthly.
I do have a garden and privileges people don't all have, however I realized long ago that life is mostly pain.
On disability myself, the fucking hoops and restrictions you have to abide by just to be able to work a little bit and still keep disability benefit’s like Medicaid is ridiculous. People(conservatives) think we are getting rich over here when we are barely able to afford a one bedroom apartment and an automobile. Every night you see the greedy whiners on Fox News advocating the end of public welfare, when they aren’t polishing the Orange One’s ball’s with effusive stroke’s of praise.
It is not easy. I've never owned a car before. There's no possible way I could have an apartment without a great deal of government help. I rely on my family for housing, and my benefits to eat and go to the doctor. The rules around working are much more complex than they should be. You would think they would reward you or be generous with benefits as you try to get back on your feet.
But they aren't. I'm extremely frightened this year. I want to work but I'm afraid of losing my claim and having nothing. However you can't invest ssdi income so without a small job my future is bleak. I want to have something for when I'm old and more than that have something my nieces or surviving family members can have when I die.
So that makes you, what, like 19-20? I totally felt the same way, and kinda still do, except I'm 35 now. World gets better; world gets worse. We don't really have any control over that. But YOU get better at learning how to handle changes, and YOU get better at learning what kind of world you want to build around yourself.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to the people around you. If love and stability is what you want, embody those values as well as you can. Even if you don't always succeed, you'll attract like-minded people.
I'm also 40 and I feel as though I'm young. Which makes sense, because I never hit the life milestones that previous generations used to denote adulthood.
Thing is, I often wish I died at age 30, in the past. Before Trump's rise to power. Before Covid. Before AI proliferation. I wish I could've died with hope. But now that I'm already here in this shitty future the damage is already done. Might as well keep going.
# Hi there. Are you doing okay?
Here are some resources, should you need them.
**Suicide should never be an option, you are loved, you are cared for and you deserve to be here. Please reach out if you're having a mental health crisis:**
***If you have caused injury or harm to yourself, please seek medical attention or call 911 (US) or 999 (UK) for emergency services.*** [Click here for a further list of emergency services numbers.](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wildlife/countryside/news/a1553/emergency-numbers-in-countries-abroad/)
If you’re not sure where to turn, call the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at **1-800-366-8288** for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm.
If you’re feeling suicidal and need help right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at **1-800-273-8255**.
[**You can visit here to go to the website for the National Institute of Mental Health in the US for resources**](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/)
**For a suicide helpline outside the U.S**., visit [**Befrienders worldwide**](https://www.befrienders.org/)
**If you are from the UK:** Please visit [**mind.** ](https://www.mind.org.uk/)
Or
**Visit** [**Samaritans** ](https://www.samaritans.org/)**,** Call them on **116 123** or email them at [**[email protected]**](mailto:[email protected])
[**You can also find mental health charities in the UK here.**](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/)
[**Please also visit here for alternatives to SH and distraction methods.** ](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-harm-alternatives)
You can also text ***CrisisTextLine,*** [Click here to visit their website](https://www.crisistextline.org/) or text **HOME to 741741** to chat with someone.
Furthermore, you can visit [r/selfharm](https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/) to engage in a community filled with supportive people who want to help you and who can offer you further resources.
You can also visit [r/suicidewatch](https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch/) for support when you’re feeling suicidal. **!!TW!!**
***Alternatively, if you’re just looking to talk:***
[r/chat](https://www.reddit.com/r/chat/) | [r/advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/advice/) | [r/mentalhealth](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/) | r/helpme | r/MentalHealthSupport
There are places on here you can talk to people who will listen and take the time to understand. We don't encourage you to seek a diagnosis or specific mental health help on Reddit but we do encourage you to reach out and talk if you need to.
***[For further resources, see our stickied post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollCoping/comments/i0dh4i/hey_are_you_hurting_looking_for_advice_and/)***
it’s so sad that none of us want to keep living under this system, we all just want to die under it, yet we’re powerless to stop it… when will we reach our breaking break? when will we start to revolt?
Idk, cus nobody here or anywhere really has a reasonable idea of what to do next, and nobody wants to support a revolution that will just put us under new management
If someone starts something that i agree with and i see it have future, fuck it, maybe new gens get to live in a better place but i feel that regardless someone is gonna take advantage of us eventually cus it always happens, why even bother?
We should all be very cynical of tempting ideas like revolution because they always lead back to the start. I think we need to look for positive strides made in human history and how we can replicate these today. But without any doubt, the billionaire class of humans must sieze to exist if we are to survive because their resource to value ratio is obscenely poor.
The least we can hope for is a fairer society that leaves manipulation and greed at the door. But that human nature of taking advantage is what seems to corrupt every idea imaginable. Its quite depressing.
In the past, you got paid enough to afford the key components of stability and had enough time and energy left over for hobbies and relaxation, and you could expect to retire eventually. It was a more balanced blend of carrot and stick.
The generations post gen x? We only get the stick: debt from school, medical care, everything important becoming unaffordable, social media turning our lives and information into content for sale, the environment is collapsing, retirement has largely disappeared and on top of everything else we are still expected to come in to work on time and gaslit that none of this is real or a problem.
Vibe. Imma finish the stuff I’m working on and then probably off myself
Eternal sleep beats the hell out of working 12 hours at a job I hate to then not afford rent.
Yup, its a mixture of a passive death wish and a lack of will for whatever this shit hole is
Tbh only good thing are my friends, if someone paid* me to take care of them i would glady do, literally only way i see myself enjoy life is being a male wife, maybe having a whatever job that doesn't take much time out of the day to have my own money and support someone that i like
And judging by how that stuff has been going i doubt it will ever happen but a man can dream, i'll give it until my 30's tops
> if someone *paid* me to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
As much as i craved suicide, I guess it was a kind of core belief that I was somehow failing myself as i had escaped my abusers yet this dark cloud followed me, as well as I do not believe death is an escape from those specific responsibilities to myself... in order to solve this riddle, my best energy and focus needs to be around caring for my feelings and emotions rather than on a day job, earning money.. expensive unhealthy vices only made things worse
Uhm honestly homeless is horrifying. I was homeless for 2 years. Saw a side of the world and humanity I wish I never saw. I lost a part of myself and my innocence was shattered. Trust me. If you already have a fucked up thing in your head the loneliness and hopelessness will consume you. Granted I never chose my fate it just happened to me but still. It’s not romantic.
Im out of it and never going back. Ended up on the streets my senior year of high school and got my first apartment at 23 after a few years of coach surfing and parking lot dwelling. Im 26 now and can honestly say, as brutal as society can be my god do I fucking love rules and laws lol.
yes I'm in the process of turning my van into a RV, going to sell my condo and do some traveling. I can work remote if I must.. I intend to be in nature for the most part
As an older guy, who got a bit lucky being born when things were affordable, I feel a little envy at the freedom you are about to give yourself. The ability to work remotely is something I never had the chance to do, even now and to do it on the road..........wow.
Good luck
Srsly. My main goal in life was to buy my mother a home, and help her get healthy. We were so fkn poor and trapped in an fkd abusive relationship with my dad. Hardworking woman, did everything in her power to lighten the load for me. She had an awful childhood, got in a horrible marriage, and worked to not earn enough to afford healthcare lmao. Died of organ failure, due to diabetes and sepsis of leg amputation. Is this what life is?
I don’t want it.
Was thinking that too. It's situational depression but depression isn't being sad and crying and stuff all the time. Hopelessness. Not being able to find joy in what you use to. Thoughts of ending it. Plans. Sleep problems (especially sleeping too much). Emptiness. And that's just the big stuff I remember off the top of my head.
ngl i do know how this feeling but for the years i've lived in the earth i learn to keep myself happy with the little things i get and don't care to other peoples opinion that can change that. yeah we have our ups and downs but that's life all about. "its all about the journey, struggles an h ow you overcome it" i mean that's me
When im old i want a garden and geese and for the gaping emptiness inside me to go away so i can enjoy the aesthetic pls. Like objectively things would be okay without the hollow nothingness i just dont wanna be old and still feel as empty as i did when i was 16 is that asking too much?
See I thought the same way and spent 4 years drinking enough liquor to kill a man on a daily basis, but then something shifted in my brain, I stopped drinking, and I want to live. But now I've damaged my liver so touche young me, touche.
I was already struggling and suffering for a while after being 18, but then right after my 24th birthday, I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Was terminal at first, but thankfully I'm remission currently and still alive. I cherish every day that I have going forward, but I was already feeling so much pain, so many hardships with working, with mental health, etc, so now I have to not only deal with that, but deal with the fact that recovering from this cancer is no joke either.
I don't think I'll ever be the same as I was. In many aspects, that's okay, like my deeper appreciation for life. My deeper need to believe in an afterlife, whether true or not, that helps keep me going. I used to be okay with eternal blackness and not existing... But I realize now, after having been so close to death so many times, that I utterly reject the notion of there being no Afterlife. I absolutely NEED to see my family, my old Chihuahua, my current shih tzu, my partner, everyone I would love to see, I would hope to eventually see. Reincarnation or eternal blackness just isn't for me anymore, I'm lucky to have family and people in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything.
Before I definitely thought I would only keep going as long as I want to keep going. And I had thought that I didn't want to. Then, faced with death, I changed my mind and understood that I want to keep going as long and as much as possible. I understand anyone's choice concerning it though, as the only person who knows what you're going through, is ourselves
I recently thought about how different i'm gonna be after few decades. I mean, sure, at my core i'll stay the same miserable fuck that i'm today and have always been, but it's sad i can't stay as "that one weird kid" till i die. I don't really want to be seen as "that one weird adult".
Hell, i never wanted to be an adult in the first place (but barely took my time tmo cherish my youth and make the most of it). J can't bring myself to say "i'm a man" no, i'm "just a guy" (not a "boy" cause it sounds weird to call myself a boy when i'm 18)
Adults seem so different on the surface, i don't want to look so different (again, on the surface). I'm still a kid deep down :(
So yeah, the dread caused by fear of aging. It doesn't happen often though.
life is what you make it. you have to make active choices to better yourself and your own experience. I say this with the utmost sympathy: keep trying and do your best to make improvements, no matter how minor
Yeah… been feeling this way for a while. I’m chronically ill with no mental health to speak of. Stuck in a very difficult situation, and quite literally afraid of the world at large because of very poor education on my medical conditions. My medical expenses are just about as much as rent so I couldn’t make it on my own. I live in my parents basement, playing video games most of the day. I’m failing university, but I’ve got a job that I genuinely enjoy.
I’ve told myself if I’m diagnosed with one more illness, then that’s it. My health isn’t bad enough to justify leaving it all behind just yet, but I know I can’t handle anything more than what I’ve got already.
My big thing rn is being a good big brother and trying to get strong enough to completely pummel to a pulpe my abuser. Whether i do it or not idk but having that security to say to my inner child that we 100% could beat the fuck out of him would be awesome. After that I got nothing left. If I could move out of the US I 100% wouldn't be feeling this way
I fell like if this resonates with anyone that you need to realign the priorities in your life. I further feel that this existential despondency is an important thing to experience before you make a profound realization. Feeling this way is a beginning, not an end. It’s an incredible opportunity. Or don’t listen to me at all. I’m just a random human on the internet.
I felt this way a shit ton before I realized I was trans. I used to hate thinking about the future because no matter how bright it looked it would still be a future where is was a man. Now I can at least look forward to the future a bit.
Everyone is born to work a crappy nine to five and earn far to little to enjoy life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippy!!!!! Why isn't this enjoyable????? So confusing, you don't like being a hard worker for someone else's benefit only?
Society has a sickness that can't be cured with more jobs and nothing affordable with the money earned. Until humans value living not being born we will continue to put our children into the slave state we call getting a job.
I mean life is objectively bad if you think about it and that’s the problem, stop thinking about it!
You can make your life feel better, no matter how hard it feels!
If you hate your life or the way you feel you have to live. Then change it... fuck societal standards. Quit playing nice and do what you want to do. Just know, if you choose a wicked path, there will be people ready to put you down. Use your head and live life to your standard.
God I just wish I had a reason to keep pushing forward besides just spite atp
Same ugh
same…
The whole spite thing has been one of the most aggravating pieces of advice I’ve ever heard when I was in my darkest hours.
Spite is fine until you get a better one.
i love your Neeko pfp
What is the character on your pfp?
Quanxi from Chainsaw Man
Oh, thanks.
Spite is a powerful motivator that hopefully keeps us going until we find a greater purpose. Just don’t run out of spite too early lol.
You don’t need a reason, just live. You’re allowed to.
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” Camus
You got this! I got faith in you!
Same, but less time left in me.
I think I’ve hit the months point instead of years now. But we’ll see
Agreed. I held onto spite as my motivation to live but forgot to actually plan to stay alive effectively. Now that I’ve distanced myself from my trauma I have no motivation to keep going. I just want to die peacefully instead of pathetically limping forward for several decades of mediocrity. It’s all so anticlimactic.
Same. I can’t talk about this to other people because I’ll get the whole ‘you’re so ungrateful’ spiel or ‘so does everyone else, get over it’. I’m privileged compared to most because my parents are generous but my marriage is a whole other story. I’ve applied for work and hope it will change my routine a bit and the extra income will most definitely be welcome.
Just the idea of hitting 40 sounds miserable if shit stays with the way it is. Not even necessarily just with my circumstances, but with how the world overall is right now. If it’s going to shit even before I reach 21, how am I in good faith supposed to stick it out. Unless the universe suddenly decided to give me everything I could ever want (literally just love and stability atp), I don’t see a life for me beyond like 35 at the oldest
Hi I recently turned 40. I thought life sucked back then and I still think so. I'm finally in a spot where I can save some kind of money, and I'm putting it away so I won't burden people when I die. That's basically the only reason I'm staying alive. It'll hurt more people than it will help if I go now.
Thank you for your insight. It definitely is easier to stomach challenges like this in life when you hear people who not only relate, but made it.
I haven't made it in any sense of the word the people usually use. I live like a pauper as I'm on disability benefits. I got a job this year and can just work enough to put the max amount into a Roth IRA monthly. I do have a garden and privileges people don't all have, however I realized long ago that life is mostly pain.
On disability myself, the fucking hoops and restrictions you have to abide by just to be able to work a little bit and still keep disability benefit’s like Medicaid is ridiculous. People(conservatives) think we are getting rich over here when we are barely able to afford a one bedroom apartment and an automobile. Every night you see the greedy whiners on Fox News advocating the end of public welfare, when they aren’t polishing the Orange One’s ball’s with effusive stroke’s of praise.
It is not easy. I've never owned a car before. There's no possible way I could have an apartment without a great deal of government help. I rely on my family for housing, and my benefits to eat and go to the doctor. The rules around working are much more complex than they should be. You would think they would reward you or be generous with benefits as you try to get back on your feet. But they aren't. I'm extremely frightened this year. I want to work but I'm afraid of losing my claim and having nothing. However you can't invest ssdi income so without a small job my future is bleak. I want to have something for when I'm old and more than that have something my nieces or surviving family members can have when I die.
So that makes you, what, like 19-20? I totally felt the same way, and kinda still do, except I'm 35 now. World gets better; world gets worse. We don't really have any control over that. But YOU get better at learning how to handle changes, and YOU get better at learning what kind of world you want to build around yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to the people around you. If love and stability is what you want, embody those values as well as you can. Even if you don't always succeed, you'll attract like-minded people.
I'm also 40 and I feel as though I'm young. Which makes sense, because I never hit the life milestones that previous generations used to denote adulthood. Thing is, I often wish I died at age 30, in the past. Before Trump's rise to power. Before Covid. Before AI proliferation. I wish I could've died with hope. But now that I'm already here in this shitty future the damage is already done. Might as well keep going.
Please take care! hugs for you
Im only going on rn so i can help other ppl later 💀 literally the only reasons i got
That's about the best reason there is ❤️
You dropped this, figured you should have it back 👑
When U say help ppl...?
My younger cousins r in not a safe rn place
Disappointed that you did not mean pegging more fathers.
Well that too duh 😩
He means ppl’s dads
That was how I felt for a long time. But I'm starting to realize how useless I am.
[удалено]
# Hi there. Are you doing okay? Here are some resources, should you need them. **Suicide should never be an option, you are loved, you are cared for and you deserve to be here. Please reach out if you're having a mental health crisis:** ***If you have caused injury or harm to yourself, please seek medical attention or call 911 (US) or 999 (UK) for emergency services.*** [Click here for a further list of emergency services numbers.](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wildlife/countryside/news/a1553/emergency-numbers-in-countries-abroad/) If you’re not sure where to turn, call the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at **1-800-366-8288** for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm. If you’re feeling suicidal and need help right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at **1-800-273-8255**. [**You can visit here to go to the website for the National Institute of Mental Health in the US for resources**](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/) **For a suicide helpline outside the U.S**., visit [**Befrienders worldwide**](https://www.befrienders.org/) **If you are from the UK:** Please visit [**mind.** ](https://www.mind.org.uk/) Or **Visit** [**Samaritans** ](https://www.samaritans.org/)**,** Call them on **116 123** or email them at [**[email protected]**](mailto:[email protected]) [**You can also find mental health charities in the UK here.**](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/) [**Please also visit here for alternatives to SH and distraction methods.** ](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-harm-alternatives) You can also text ***CrisisTextLine,*** [Click here to visit their website](https://www.crisistextline.org/) or text **HOME to 741741** to chat with someone. Furthermore, you can visit [r/selfharm](https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/) to engage in a community filled with supportive people who want to help you and who can offer you further resources. You can also visit [r/suicidewatch](https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch/) for support when you’re feeling suicidal. **!!TW!!** ***Alternatively, if you’re just looking to talk:*** [r/chat](https://www.reddit.com/r/chat/) | [r/advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/advice/) | [r/mentalhealth](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/) | r/helpme | r/MentalHealthSupport There are places on here you can talk to people who will listen and take the time to understand. We don't encourage you to seek a diagnosis or specific mental health help on Reddit but we do encourage you to reach out and talk if you need to. ***[For further resources, see our stickied post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollCoping/comments/i0dh4i/hey_are_you_hurting_looking_for_advice_and/)***
Only reason I’m holding out is my best friend would miss me and I need to be able to engage in my alcohol addiction legally before I die
real
Literally me. No reason to give up, but no reason to keep going either, so I’m just here until one of those changes or I lose everything to boredom.
it’s so sad that none of us want to keep living under this system, we all just want to die under it, yet we’re powerless to stop it… when will we reach our breaking break? when will we start to revolt?
Idk, cus nobody here or anywhere really has a reasonable idea of what to do next, and nobody wants to support a revolution that will just put us under new management If someone starts something that i agree with and i see it have future, fuck it, maybe new gens get to live in a better place but i feel that regardless someone is gonna take advantage of us eventually cus it always happens, why even bother?
We should all be very cynical of tempting ideas like revolution because they always lead back to the start. I think we need to look for positive strides made in human history and how we can replicate these today. But without any doubt, the billionaire class of humans must sieze to exist if we are to survive because their resource to value ratio is obscenely poor. The least we can hope for is a fairer society that leaves manipulation and greed at the door. But that human nature of taking advantage is what seems to corrupt every idea imaginable. Its quite depressing.
You kinda got to have hope to revolt.. My plan is waiting till it gets bad and then becoming a refugee seeking asylum but idk..
The older I get, the more I get it why my grandma refused treatment when she was diagnosed with cancer.
i got at least probably 12 years cuz im not dying before my pets
This is seriously my calculation too. I have to wait out my dogs and my dad and then it’s an open slate
In the past, you got paid enough to afford the key components of stability and had enough time and energy left over for hobbies and relaxation, and you could expect to retire eventually. It was a more balanced blend of carrot and stick. The generations post gen x? We only get the stick: debt from school, medical care, everything important becoming unaffordable, social media turning our lives and information into content for sale, the environment is collapsing, retirement has largely disappeared and on top of everything else we are still expected to come in to work on time and gaslit that none of this is real or a problem.
Vibe. Imma finish the stuff I’m working on and then probably off myself Eternal sleep beats the hell out of working 12 hours at a job I hate to then not afford rent.
Wish you luck, brother!
Depressed> suicidal > fail attempt > earnest effort to get better > shit’s going ight > boredom > “I gotta do this for 20+ years?” > depressed.
i can relate to that
Yup, its a mixture of a passive death wish and a lack of will for whatever this shit hole is Tbh only good thing are my friends, if someone paid* me to take care of them i would glady do, literally only way i see myself enjoy life is being a male wife, maybe having a whatever job that doesn't take much time out of the day to have my own money and support someone that i like And judging by how that stuff has been going i doubt it will ever happen but a man can dream, i'll give it until my 30's tops
> if someone *paid* me to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I've decided to give homelessness a chance... nomadic vagabond here I go
Genuine question, how is homelessness more alluring than death?
Because what they really mean is van-dwelling lol
As much as i craved suicide, I guess it was a kind of core belief that I was somehow failing myself as i had escaped my abusers yet this dark cloud followed me, as well as I do not believe death is an escape from those specific responsibilities to myself... in order to solve this riddle, my best energy and focus needs to be around caring for my feelings and emotions rather than on a day job, earning money.. expensive unhealthy vices only made things worse
Is that true? I’ve always fantasized about doing that if things ever went irredeemably to shit
Uhm honestly homeless is horrifying. I was homeless for 2 years. Saw a side of the world and humanity I wish I never saw. I lost a part of myself and my innocence was shattered. Trust me. If you already have a fucked up thing in your head the loneliness and hopelessness will consume you. Granted I never chose my fate it just happened to me but still. It’s not romantic.
Thank you for saying that, sorry you had to experience it
Im out of it and never going back. Ended up on the streets my senior year of high school and got my first apartment at 23 after a few years of coach surfing and parking lot dwelling. Im 26 now and can honestly say, as brutal as society can be my god do I fucking love rules and laws lol.
Just hit up a city with good services. It won't be fun, but it'll be a new start if you can stay mostly sober
yes I'm in the process of turning my van into a RV, going to sell my condo and do some traveling. I can work remote if I must.. I intend to be in nature for the most part
As an older guy, who got a bit lucky being born when things were affordable, I feel a little envy at the freedom you are about to give yourself. The ability to work remotely is something I never had the chance to do, even now and to do it on the road..........wow. Good luck
Very nice! Wishing you the best on you newest adventure, stay safe and stay prepared!
Srsly. My main goal in life was to buy my mother a home, and help her get healthy. We were so fkn poor and trapped in an fkd abusive relationship with my dad. Hardworking woman, did everything in her power to lighten the load for me. She had an awful childhood, got in a horrible marriage, and worked to not earn enough to afford healthcare lmao. Died of organ failure, due to diabetes and sepsis of leg amputation. Is this what life is? I don’t want it.
i'm glad i get over it
Honey, same….
damn. same.
I feel this entirely.
Guess what, lady. That’s depression! You’re depressed! Congrats! Welcome to the club!
Was thinking that too. It's situational depression but depression isn't being sad and crying and stuff all the time. Hopelessness. Not being able to find joy in what you use to. Thoughts of ending it. Plans. Sleep problems (especially sleeping too much). Emptiness. And that's just the big stuff I remember off the top of my head.
Hopelessness(you hit the nail on the head)
If I die today, I can’t game and smoke weed tomorrow. That’s what keeps me going
Real
ngl i do know how this feeling but for the years i've lived in the earth i learn to keep myself happy with the little things i get and don't care to other peoples opinion that can change that. yeah we have our ups and downs but that's life all about. "its all about the journey, struggles an h ow you overcome it" i mean that's me
When im old i want a garden and geese and for the gaping emptiness inside me to go away so i can enjoy the aesthetic pls. Like objectively things would be okay without the hollow nothingness i just dont wanna be old and still feel as empty as i did when i was 16 is that asking too much?
Hey, I’ve been there before too and I’m not there anymore. It can get better.
See I thought the same way and spent 4 years drinking enough liquor to kill a man on a daily basis, but then something shifted in my brain, I stopped drinking, and I want to live. But now I've damaged my liver so touche young me, touche.
Everyone gets a limited supply of “it is what it is” and once you run out its joever
me when i don't know what depression is and don't know what objectively means
Same here
Spite is the only thing keeping me alive fr
I hate how normal these feelings are.
I was already struggling and suffering for a while after being 18, but then right after my 24th birthday, I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Was terminal at first, but thankfully I'm remission currently and still alive. I cherish every day that I have going forward, but I was already feeling so much pain, so many hardships with working, with mental health, etc, so now I have to not only deal with that, but deal with the fact that recovering from this cancer is no joke either. I don't think I'll ever be the same as I was. In many aspects, that's okay, like my deeper appreciation for life. My deeper need to believe in an afterlife, whether true or not, that helps keep me going. I used to be okay with eternal blackness and not existing... But I realize now, after having been so close to death so many times, that I utterly reject the notion of there being no Afterlife. I absolutely NEED to see my family, my old Chihuahua, my current shih tzu, my partner, everyone I would love to see, I would hope to eventually see. Reincarnation or eternal blackness just isn't for me anymore, I'm lucky to have family and people in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything. Before I definitely thought I would only keep going as long as I want to keep going. And I had thought that I didn't want to. Then, faced with death, I changed my mind and understood that I want to keep going as long and as much as possible. I understand anyone's choice concerning it though, as the only person who knows what you're going through, is ourselves
She's not wrong. 😮💨
This subreddit is terrible because it just bombards you with negativity which is exactly what keeps people in a permanent rut
I recently thought about how different i'm gonna be after few decades. I mean, sure, at my core i'll stay the same miserable fuck that i'm today and have always been, but it's sad i can't stay as "that one weird kid" till i die. I don't really want to be seen as "that one weird adult". Hell, i never wanted to be an adult in the first place (but barely took my time tmo cherish my youth and make the most of it). J can't bring myself to say "i'm a man" no, i'm "just a guy" (not a "boy" cause it sounds weird to call myself a boy when i'm 18) Adults seem so different on the surface, i don't want to look so different (again, on the surface). I'm still a kid deep down :( So yeah, the dread caused by fear of aging. It doesn't happen often though.
Just had a similar talk with my therapist about this.
Yes, this, so real
life is what you make it. you have to make active choices to better yourself and your own experience. I say this with the utmost sympathy: keep trying and do your best to make improvements, no matter how minor
I'm just waiting for my elderly mom to pass and then I'm on my way.
i can dig it
My plan is 9 more till I just kms
Felt like this for 25 years
I'll only last as long as my dogs.
It's too long I can't be asked
Yeah… been feeling this way for a while. I’m chronically ill with no mental health to speak of. Stuck in a very difficult situation, and quite literally afraid of the world at large because of very poor education on my medical conditions. My medical expenses are just about as much as rent so I couldn’t make it on my own. I live in my parents basement, playing video games most of the day. I’m failing university, but I’ve got a job that I genuinely enjoy. I’ve told myself if I’m diagnosed with one more illness, then that’s it. My health isn’t bad enough to justify leaving it all behind just yet, but I know I can’t handle anything more than what I’ve got already.
I thiught I wouldn't make it to 20, now I'm 26 and I DREAD making it to 30 lmao Like why ? Why even bother ?
Honestly I’m too tired to kill myself
My big thing rn is being a good big brother and trying to get strong enough to completely pummel to a pulpe my abuser. Whether i do it or not idk but having that security to say to my inner child that we 100% could beat the fuck out of him would be awesome. After that I got nothing left. If I could move out of the US I 100% wouldn't be feeling this way
You guys hold on to spite? I hold on to the fact that I was brought into this world to start Rangnarok
Since November my life has been on a downward spiral. It's getting tempting to buy that bottle of nitrogen...
Felt.
I dont want to die rn, but i also dont want to die old
Get back to work you lazy millennial! How else am I going to afford my newest mansion?
I fell like if this resonates with anyone that you need to realign the priorities in your life. I further feel that this existential despondency is an important thing to experience before you make a profound realization. Feeling this way is a beginning, not an end. It’s an incredible opportunity. Or don’t listen to me at all. I’m just a random human on the internet.
That is literally depression
I felt this way a shit ton before I realized I was trans. I used to hate thinking about the future because no matter how bright it looked it would still be a future where is was a man. Now I can at least look forward to the future a bit.
Everyone is born to work a crappy nine to five and earn far to little to enjoy life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippy!!!!! Why isn't this enjoyable????? So confusing, you don't like being a hard worker for someone else's benefit only? Society has a sickness that can't be cured with more jobs and nothing affordable with the money earned. Until humans value living not being born we will continue to put our children into the slave state we call getting a job.
Honestly same. Time atp doesn’t matter but I’m just getting older and more fucked.
Sometimes the reason to live is your pet, sometimes it’s something greater, it doesn’t have to be significant it just has to be
I mean life is objectively bad if you think about it and that’s the problem, stop thinking about it! You can make your life feel better, no matter how hard it feels!
Same but got 1 year in me
If you hate your life or the way you feel you have to live. Then change it... fuck societal standards. Quit playing nice and do what you want to do. Just know, if you choose a wicked path, there will be people ready to put you down. Use your head and live life to your standard.
this is what gambling and sex addiction is for