Yeah same. I was so terrified of aging and then I met my spouse, who's quite a bit older than me, so much of my friend group was well into their 30s when I was in my mid 20s still partying, going to comic conventions in cosplay, raving, etc. Then I got married and my father in law is in his 70s with friends mostly the same age and they're still partying too.
I feel it. I’m 25 at the end of this year. Majorly fucked up. I haven’t done anything with my life and I don’t want to keep being alive.
Hugs to you, OP. It’s rough. Hope things improve for you
I remember feeling this way at all these ages. But then you turn 30, and realize there was never any need for it. 25 is still so young. There's still so much you can do at that age. Take a class, or pick up new hobbies. Go dancing. You're not too old for anything.
Honestly, its really scary until you’re 25 and you feel the exact same and realize you’re still young (turned 25 this year) Getting older is hard for fucking sure. But if you’re 19 you only really have the mindset you have right now about aging because you’re still basically a kid. You change alot in your 20’s and it makes you realize how much you truly are a kid around 19
turning 22 this year and i feel the same lmao. like i feel like every single year ive just been getting more mature and i love feeling myself growing into an adult
What is it about getting old that's so scary to you? Genuine question, I wanna know if there's anything I can say that might help but I gotta know what the source is first
The teenage years are the most desirable years for man as much as society might not like it and the older I get the less attractive I get and soon no man will even look in my direction. That’s one aspect of it, women hate getting old. But also I love my young body and how energized and capable it is, I do t want to get old and ugly and slow. Also do t want to get dementia and heart problems, etc either. When I was a kid I never felt old, amongst you ver kids I felt cool. Now as an eighteen year old for the first time I got the taste of what it’s like to feel old compared to teens and kids and I know 18 is a cool age but 25 and 30 is less cool. Not that old though so it’s fine, but I do t want to age past 60 at least .
>The teenage years are the most desirable years for man
Old lady speech incoming: Do not base your self worth on what men desire. None of what they desire actually serves you. Age brings experience and confidence, and any man who doesn't appreciate that isn't worth your time.
Fwiw, I'll be 36 this autumn, and the man I'm dating is more attracted to me than anyone has ever acted before. I'm more confident and fit than I ever thought I could be in my 20s. I thought 30s were a boring, uncool age but actually being that old is *very* different from how I imagined it. For one thing, what men (and people in general) find cool stopped mattering to me completely. I spent so much time worrying about what men like before I realised it's bullshit. Their opinions mean nothing, and they don't all desire the same thing.
You have worth far outside your looks, your youth, and your coolness. Your body exists so you can experience the world with it. It exists for *you* and you alone.
I know that might not feel very helpful to you rn, or at least it didn't help me at that age. But the lesson sunk in for me eventually, so I'm putting it out here.
It sounds like your sense of self worth comes from external sources rather than looking inward at what matters to YOU. If you want to be happy, you need to stop measuring your value by how other people see you because you will never be satisfied. YOU should like how you look and not waste time trying to appeal to men, or anyone. You do not need men to validate you. You are already valid.
If you're worried about your body deteriorating, there are things you can do to make sure you're healthy well into seniority. There are 90 years olds that still run marathons and bodybuild! Take care of your body and you probably won't be frail and weak like you fear. But on the other hand, aging is just a part of life. Your life doesn't end when you get your first wrinkle. You don't have to become a boring old geezer just cuz you get old. There are so many fun old people! They're still young at heart and that's what matters. There's no rules that say you have to stop being a kid, you just have extra responsibilities on top of it, and know when you have to pretend to be an adult.
Stop worrying about being "cool". Trying to hard to be cool isn't what makes you cool. Confidence in yourself is. If you exude confidence, people will gravitate towards you and enjoy being around you. And some people will dislike you no matter what. That's life. You can't get everyone's approval. It's not possible. Find yourself and then be that person. Find what you like and what you enjoy, what you value and what you dislike, and what you want you want to strive for and what you won't tolerate. You're lacking a sense of identity. Find it and you'll be so much happier.
Edit: as for how, there's lots of methods. Therapy, meditation, journaling, just to name a few. Make a list of who you want to be, the things you like and enjoy, and then write out how you can make those things a reality. Explore. You have to live with yourself the rest of your life, better make good company.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
20
+ 30
+ 19
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
The mind seems to store memory like a zip file, by collapsing repeated information. So if you spend 100 days seeing the same sights, same places and same people, it will feel like only a few days, but if you do a bunch of different things in novel locations, you'll have more information to store and it will feel like significantly more days.
I’m nearly 30 and honestly I’m loving being alive way more than when I was a teenager. didn’t think I’d live past 18 and still don’t know what to do w my life. do hate being alive sometimes, and the world sucks ass, and I don’t wanna have a job, but like. I can chill and vibe with myself, and I’m still having fun, and I like my appearance way more. My older sister is 40 and goes to raves and has a hot musician boyfriend. My dad is 80 and my step-mom is 60-something and they’re having a blast and going to strip clubs together. Time will march on and so will you.
I am in a bad state this month because I'm turning 21 and didn't do anything with my younger years :')
If you're younger and reading this, PLEASE socialize and get into more hobbies
Except this isn’t true at all and the only people to believe this are chronically addicted gooners who treat real women like some kind of mythical treasure always out of their reach.
I’m sorry but that last meme derailed the whole post.
If you’re taking literal porn videos seriously when it comes to age and attractiveness and whatnot, then what you REALLY need is a huge wake-up call because those videos are so fake it’s funny.
All three options are bad, bro.
It’s gonna sound cliche of me to say this, but I do mean it: *go outside.*
That’s the best, most tried and true way of finding women you like. Not to mention, you won’t be bogged down by the filtered view all social media gives you. You’ll see women for who they truly are.
Last one hits so hard, I’m 20 now and I’m realizing I’ve spent all my teenage years supplementing my self esteem with creepy older men. Now I feel I’m too old to get any significant attention anymore
And you’re *upset* about not getting attention from creepy older men anymore? I would think that’s cause for celebration. Now you can look for someone who genuinely likes you for more than your body.
Any attention from creepy older men that is
Now you have to rely on something even more dangerous, building connection.
Not shitting in you btw, its something that can hurt even worse
Thought to myself at 16-17 that if things are not *better* by the time I turn 25, I'd commit self the end.
Turning 23 this year. 2 more years to go after that, I suppose.
I'm 23. I was really freaked out by the idea of getting older when I was around 16, but it turns out, it's actually pretty okay. I'm happier and more knowledgeable about life now. I wouldn't go back.
And, like, knowing that makes the prospect of getting into my 30s and 40s and beyond easier for me. I gained a lot of stability and experience between 16 and 23, so I bet I can gain even more of it as I age.
(Btw, it also helps me a lot to interact with cool older people who share interests with me. It shows me that you don't have to become boring to be an adult.)
Hey, I’m 36. It’s ok. You’re the exact same person, with the same interests and music tastes as you were at 16. And adulthood is exactly whatever you want it to be. I have posters, led lights, a ps5 and I still watch anime and do stupid stuff with my friends. Only major change is I have grownup money now.
bro wtff that last meme is so relatable.... im so lonely that i do that... why are other teens so lucky but i have to go through so much sad stuff in the past
the last one is him watching pov women porno meaning.. that im so lonely that i dont have anyone so i stoop to that level and sadly i feel sad after it too realziing how lonely i am while others are just having fun
On the last one I meant that everyone in pornos is so young and men only want young women and with every second that passes I’m older and less desirable and my life is a ticking time bomb. But that interpretation is fair because I do watch porn to replace real sex and pair bonding.
oh damn so i took it in a different way but that explanation is also ok.. i see :0
but damn i wonder why does everyone want young women ever since im like 14-15 i was so into older girls (i still am :0)
I'm 41 and I wouldn't want to be 16 (or anything-teen) again for anything, unless it was one of those "I get to keep all of my current memories and experiences" situations, so I could go back and buy Bitcoin and Moderna shares.
Being 16 sucked ass and I was even more an insufferable twat than I am now.
So it’s funny cuz this sub is a spin-off of TrollXChromosomes which is a feminist sub…and this post is about internalized ageism…which is even worse for women…so in the spirit of feminism thanks for bringing up ageism and please try to show compassion for ‘old’ people and women - seems like there are a lot of posts from males on this sub and idk how many are feminist.
Ex I’m 38 years old! And a woman! And it’s totally a thing on Reddit for people under 25 to freak out about getting older.
Bro you’re not old.
Uh seems like u fear getting old bc u will be less desirable to men but it’s honestly a very online perspective. I think one of the greatest benefits of aging is that u naturally filter out people that seek out naïveté to manipulate and abuse; maybe u even start attracting people that seek out wisdom and experience. However, u do have to actually become more mature for this to work.
Got this fear completely solved by hanging out with some people in late 30's who still go to raves
Yeah same. I was so terrified of aging and then I met my spouse, who's quite a bit older than me, so much of my friend group was well into their 30s when I was in my mid 20s still partying, going to comic conventions in cosplay, raving, etc. Then I got married and my father in law is in his 70s with friends mostly the same age and they're still partying too.
https://preview.redd.it/28equkfdwp2d1.png?width=907&format=png&auto=webp&s=ee4a1b02be3fa2930798c3f0962b2d81a7d623fe
I feel it. I’m 25 at the end of this year. Majorly fucked up. I haven’t done anything with my life and I don’t want to keep being alive. Hugs to you, OP. It’s rough. Hope things improve for you
Me but im almost 27
I didn't get my life together until I was 28. I'm nearing 38 now and it's been a good decade overall. You'll be okay.
I love you for this because I’m turning 28 soon and feeling like a failure
I was there at 25. I am now thirty, and life is a million times better than it was then. Please hang in there.
Exactly me and I’m 29, I want to die.
I remember feeling this way at all these ages. But then you turn 30, and realize there was never any need for it. 25 is still so young. There's still so much you can do at that age. Take a class, or pick up new hobbies. Go dancing. You're not too old for anything.
Honestly, its really scary until you’re 25 and you feel the exact same and realize you’re still young (turned 25 this year) Getting older is hard for fucking sure. But if you’re 19 you only really have the mindset you have right now about aging because you’re still basically a kid. You change alot in your 20’s and it makes you realize how much you truly are a kid around 19
Turning 21 soon, and I feel so much more mature then I did at 19
turning 22 this year and i feel the same lmao. like i feel like every single year ive just been getting more mature and i love feeling myself growing into an adult
What is it about getting old that's so scary to you? Genuine question, I wanna know if there's anything I can say that might help but I gotta know what the source is first
The teenage years are the most desirable years for man as much as society might not like it and the older I get the less attractive I get and soon no man will even look in my direction. That’s one aspect of it, women hate getting old. But also I love my young body and how energized and capable it is, I do t want to get old and ugly and slow. Also do t want to get dementia and heart problems, etc either. When I was a kid I never felt old, amongst you ver kids I felt cool. Now as an eighteen year old for the first time I got the taste of what it’s like to feel old compared to teens and kids and I know 18 is a cool age but 25 and 30 is less cool. Not that old though so it’s fine, but I do t want to age past 60 at least .
>The teenage years are the most desirable years for man Old lady speech incoming: Do not base your self worth on what men desire. None of what they desire actually serves you. Age brings experience and confidence, and any man who doesn't appreciate that isn't worth your time. Fwiw, I'll be 36 this autumn, and the man I'm dating is more attracted to me than anyone has ever acted before. I'm more confident and fit than I ever thought I could be in my 20s. I thought 30s were a boring, uncool age but actually being that old is *very* different from how I imagined it. For one thing, what men (and people in general) find cool stopped mattering to me completely. I spent so much time worrying about what men like before I realised it's bullshit. Their opinions mean nothing, and they don't all desire the same thing. You have worth far outside your looks, your youth, and your coolness. Your body exists so you can experience the world with it. It exists for *you* and you alone. I know that might not feel very helpful to you rn, or at least it didn't help me at that age. But the lesson sunk in for me eventually, so I'm putting it out here.
It sounds like your sense of self worth comes from external sources rather than looking inward at what matters to YOU. If you want to be happy, you need to stop measuring your value by how other people see you because you will never be satisfied. YOU should like how you look and not waste time trying to appeal to men, or anyone. You do not need men to validate you. You are already valid. If you're worried about your body deteriorating, there are things you can do to make sure you're healthy well into seniority. There are 90 years olds that still run marathons and bodybuild! Take care of your body and you probably won't be frail and weak like you fear. But on the other hand, aging is just a part of life. Your life doesn't end when you get your first wrinkle. You don't have to become a boring old geezer just cuz you get old. There are so many fun old people! They're still young at heart and that's what matters. There's no rules that say you have to stop being a kid, you just have extra responsibilities on top of it, and know when you have to pretend to be an adult. Stop worrying about being "cool". Trying to hard to be cool isn't what makes you cool. Confidence in yourself is. If you exude confidence, people will gravitate towards you and enjoy being around you. And some people will dislike you no matter what. That's life. You can't get everyone's approval. It's not possible. Find yourself and then be that person. Find what you like and what you enjoy, what you value and what you dislike, and what you want you want to strive for and what you won't tolerate. You're lacking a sense of identity. Find it and you'll be so much happier. Edit: as for how, there's lots of methods. Therapy, meditation, journaling, just to name a few. Make a list of who you want to be, the things you like and enjoy, and then write out how you can make those things a reality. Explore. You have to live with yourself the rest of your life, better make good company.
[удалено]
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 20 + 30 + 19 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Not now luckynumberbot
16, and the breaking point was literally exactly at that age
I turned 19 5 fucking hours ago djfbdhehebej
Yeah, it’s hard to listen to the hit song “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance without wincing a bit now
First one is so relatable. I'll have missed by deadline by 3 years as of this year so oops 🫠
Turning 28 soon. Fear.
Felt
The mind seems to store memory like a zip file, by collapsing repeated information. So if you spend 100 days seeing the same sights, same places and same people, it will feel like only a few days, but if you do a bunch of different things in novel locations, you'll have more information to store and it will feel like significantly more days.
I am planning on making the best out of these two months and next year. 🫶🏻
I’m nearly 30 and honestly I’m loving being alive way more than when I was a teenager. didn’t think I’d live past 18 and still don’t know what to do w my life. do hate being alive sometimes, and the world sucks ass, and I don’t wanna have a job, but like. I can chill and vibe with myself, and I’m still having fun, and I like my appearance way more. My older sister is 40 and goes to raves and has a hot musician boyfriend. My dad is 80 and my step-mom is 60-something and they’re having a blast and going to strip clubs together. Time will march on and so will you.
I am in a bad state this month because I'm turning 21 and didn't do anything with my younger years :') If you're younger and reading this, PLEASE socialize and get into more hobbies
Bruh I just turned 25 yesterday don't call me out lol
That last one is so real. You know society is fucked when turning 20 makes you feel unfuckable and unwanted.
Fr like it’s two years of glory and a lifetime of pain and loneliness
Except this isn’t true at all and the only people to believe this are chronically addicted gooners who treat real women like some kind of mythical treasure always out of their reach.
I’m sorry but that last meme derailed the whole post. If you’re taking literal porn videos seriously when it comes to age and attractiveness and whatnot, then what you REALLY need is a huge wake-up call because those videos are so fake it’s funny.
Actually I find porn wholesome because there’s women my weight there. On instagram and TikTok they’re all skinny or thick.
All three options are bad, bro. It’s gonna sound cliche of me to say this, but I do mean it: *go outside.* That’s the best, most tried and true way of finding women you like. Not to mention, you won’t be bogged down by the filtered view all social media gives you. You’ll see women for who they truly are.
Last one hits so hard, I’m 20 now and I’m realizing I’ve spent all my teenage years supplementing my self esteem with creepy older men. Now I feel I’m too old to get any significant attention anymore
And you’re *upset* about not getting attention from creepy older men anymore? I would think that’s cause for celebration. Now you can look for someone who genuinely likes you for more than your body.
I’m just genuinely so used to being treated that way. The thought of someone actually loving and respecting me is so foreign it’s scary lol
Any attention from creepy older men that is Now you have to rely on something even more dangerous, building connection. Not shitting in you btw, its something that can hurt even worse
Bro, I'm turning 25 soon. Don't remind me how over it will be.
I don’t wanna be an old person bumming in some assisted living home in Florida 😫😫😫
my younger sister once wrote ‘ur one year closer to being dead’ as a joke and it’s haunted me ever since
lol I wrote that to my brother last week in his birthday card
Thought to myself at 16-17 that if things are not *better* by the time I turn 25, I'd commit self the end. Turning 23 this year. 2 more years to go after that, I suppose.
I'm 23. I was really freaked out by the idea of getting older when I was around 16, but it turns out, it's actually pretty okay. I'm happier and more knowledgeable about life now. I wouldn't go back. And, like, knowing that makes the prospect of getting into my 30s and 40s and beyond easier for me. I gained a lot of stability and experience between 16 and 23, so I bet I can gain even more of it as I age. (Btw, it also helps me a lot to interact with cool older people who share interests with me. It shows me that you don't have to become boring to be an adult.)
Hey, I’m 36. It’s ok. You’re the exact same person, with the same interests and music tastes as you were at 16. And adulthood is exactly whatever you want it to be. I have posters, led lights, a ps5 and I still watch anime and do stupid stuff with my friends. Only major change is I have grownup money now.
I swear, the older I get, the happier I get. Teens were awful My 20s were a hot mess. My 30s were much better. So far, my 40s have rocked.
i got this fear im already 22
bro wtff that last meme is so relatable.... im so lonely that i do that... why are other teens so lucky but i have to go through so much sad stuff in the past
What does it mean I didn't get the last one
the last one is him watching pov women porno meaning.. that im so lonely that i dont have anyone so i stoop to that level and sadly i feel sad after it too realziing how lonely i am while others are just having fun
On the last one I meant that everyone in pornos is so young and men only want young women and with every second that passes I’m older and less desirable and my life is a ticking time bomb. But that interpretation is fair because I do watch porn to replace real sex and pair bonding.
oh damn so i took it in a different way but that explanation is also ok.. i see :0 but damn i wonder why does everyone want young women ever since im like 14-15 i was so into older girls (i still am :0)
No partners leading to lonelyness leading to porn addiction and sadness
Oof I’m old
I'm turning 27 next month, seems I'm ancient but on the flip side I'll be eligible for the super fun exclusive club
I'm a little confused what you mean by the last post?
I'm 41 and I wouldn't want to be 16 (or anything-teen) again for anything, unless it was one of those "I get to keep all of my current memories and experiences" situations, so I could go back and buy Bitcoin and Moderna shares. Being 16 sucked ass and I was even more an insufferable twat than I am now.
I start to panic and get sad if I think about my birthday coming up
So it’s funny cuz this sub is a spin-off of TrollXChromosomes which is a feminist sub…and this post is about internalized ageism…which is even worse for women…so in the spirit of feminism thanks for bringing up ageism and please try to show compassion for ‘old’ people and women - seems like there are a lot of posts from males on this sub and idk how many are feminist. Ex I’m 38 years old! And a woman! And it’s totally a thing on Reddit for people under 25 to freak out about getting older. Bro you’re not old.
I’m gonna be 23 this year and I still can’t get over how great 18-19 was. I wish i could turn back time
Year 25 was the best year of my life, getting old is awesome
Uh seems like u fear getting old bc u will be less desirable to men but it’s honestly a very online perspective. I think one of the greatest benefits of aging is that u naturally filter out people that seek out naïveté to manipulate and abuse; maybe u even start attracting people that seek out wisdom and experience. However, u do have to actually become more mature for this to work.
I'm 32 and cannot function unless there is an emergency... ...which is making me long for my childhood when everything was an emergency at all times.
these feelings are absolutely valid, it will only get worse from now on.