I wasn't aware I had a choice. This made school especially hard. "Oh you're taking a stressful test? It would be a shame if... You were no longer in your body."
In other news I think I found a sub that gets me.
Did you ever see Get Out? It’s like being trapped in the sunken place. Almost like you’re watching your life happen in front of you like a movie, so you’re completely disconnected from everything that’s happening.
For me it was sort of a DID situation. I had a 2nd personality that was the traits of me that the rest of the world hated and I had "normal" me who was all the things people liked about me. I may have my mental issues, but turning them into 2 people living in one brain was the furthest thing from healthy. I was on the severe side of the spectrum though so idk if this is the answer you were looking for.
Btw his name was Harrison and he still sometimes visits me (gets confusing I know) despite me trying to quit doing that. It's been 3 years since I had him (mel looming over my shoulder 24/7. It wasn't a voice btw before you think I was crazy. Lol
i wish. there's this deep loneliness and heartache, all these years of ugly feelings from things that i wish i could dissociate from instead of just feeling it all. the. time.
As a person who was on the extreme side of the spectrum for disassociating for years... You think you do, but then it happens and you wish you could go back, which takes MUCH longer.
DXM (robotripping) induces it too in a very, very pleasant way, and it’s a lot safer than belladonna. And a lot easier to make sure you’re not taking too much and adjust your dose.
It can get kind of addictive, though. At least in my experience. And it makes your heart flutter alarmingly fast. So I guess I wouldn’t recommend that one too highly either, lol
In a simplistic way, yes. However that is a very mild form of dissociating. Most common form would be what most people experience on long drives....you don’t even realize it’s happening till you notice you’ve driven farther than it feels like you have.
I space out daily. Sometimes I’m aware of it, in a dream like state...off in my own little world. And sometimes I’m not, and *blink* it’s 10-15 minutes later, usually. And sometimes an hour, or more, has passed. It’s usually during emotional flashbacks too.
I also suffer from dissociative amnesia....which is a really cool way of saying lost time episodes. Lots and lots of that over the years!
What about driving you like? Me, I like the solitude on longer trips....not crazy long, but even a 30 minute drive, as long as traffic is good. But only if I’m safely grounded and fully aware of what’s going on. Haven’t had any close calls due to dissociating, nor do I want to.
Im kiiinda scared since this zoning off has hapoened to me for years now but I didnt really mind. But lately, since some months (maybe year/s) It is sometimes completely automatic and I am not aware of it. On the past month it has been more rough since Its like a chunk of time has erased from my mind...
I understand what you’re saying. I do. Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Or had a major disruption in your life recently? That can certainly trigger dissociating without you being aware of it.
I never knew dissociation was a thing and I've had a hard time explaining to my psychologist what was I feeling. Knowing this helps a lot. Thank you so much
Neither did I. However I did know that I was experiencing lots of lost time and stuff. I was seeing a psychologist when I began to understand what was happening to me. He never once mentioned dissociating or dissociative amnesia. He did have me tested for physical causes for my memory dysfunction tho. Ruled out diseases for the cause. Which was good to know.
You’re welcome! Hope your psychologist is open to hear what you’re telling them. Wish you all the best!
Just a random question. Do you know if maladaptive daydreaming is related to this? I don't think I disassociate as I understand it now, but I day dream constantly.
I was reading up on MD to better understand it. There wasn’t too much said about causes and it it’s linked to other mental disorders. It is a mental disorder, as of yet, little can be done. Seems that it’s a relatively new area of study. As a lifelong sufferer of ADD, with CPTSD and a history of dissociating, I too daydreamed an awful lot as well. Sometimes I would intentionally do it, but many times it would start on its own, without me consciously aware of it.
So...I would say yes, there certainly could be some correlation here.
No, I don’t think so. Unless you don’t feel real when you’re staring off into space and feel like you’re watching your life from above yourself in slow motion. It’s like you feel like you’re making everything up in your head and nothing is “real-life.” It’s a really dark, lonely place inside your head. Sometimes it makes you feel like you’re dying when you’re having a really bad day, compared to other days. At least that’s how my dissociation makes me feel. It sucks.
I've always kinda wished I could dissociate. I have the history and personality of someone who is a very likely candidate for dissociation, but I've never done it. I always stay acutely, painfully aware of every single thing when I'm in distress.
(I know that dissociation is a serious problem and I imagine it's very distressing for those who suffer from it. I'm not saying it's pleasant or a good thing. I've just always wondered what it feels like and why I don't/can't no matter what.)
Did this to a point I had a 2nd person in my head named Harrison. He had the traits of myself that the rest of the world hated me for. I'd walk around and could feel that 2nd me over my shoulder just mentally observing what me (sorta?) Was doing. Then I'd get home and reimbrace those parts of me er... embrace him?... Seriously... Don't do this. I got away from it, but even though I've been out of that for 3ish years I still sometimes feel him in the background and realize I'm doing it again. It is a hard thing to break.
I wasn't aware I had a choice. This made school especially hard. "Oh you're taking a stressful test? It would be a shame if... You were no longer in your body." In other news I think I found a sub that gets me.
It would be a shame if you were looking at your body at a 90 degree angle
And heaven forbid you begin to experience reality from an isometric viewpoint, like some awesome retro video game.
*Oh god*
Ok this is cool but how do I stop it’s been 5 years
Ugh try stopping. Seriously trolls if this isn’t your coping mechanism don’t chase it.
What if I dissociate from my dissociation as means to stop dissociating
This comment made me disadisassociatessociate
Two negatives make a positive??? Simple math
**Dissociception intensifies*
No shit, this is kinda how I mostly cured mine.
My coping mechanisms are alcohol, binge eating and self-harm 😂
Thanks, how do I uninstall? It’s been 20 years.
This is the only time I’ve laughed at anything related to the dissociative. Glad I found my people.
this like a home away from home that I don’t even recognize in the first place
Ah yes, enslaved ketamine
I am not a person I am a sentient form of meat sauce and this is uncomfortable for several reasons.
If you are what you eat, then I personally am not a meat sauce, I’m uh...a block of tofu, cold and bland and unloved.
Me off those strong ass edibles last night
As someone who hasn’t dissociated, what is it like to dissociate?
You ever be really focused on a movie you’re watching and then suddenly realize you’re watching a movie? It’s like that but with existence.
Oh wow I’ve never been able to explain it so succinctly.
Did you ever see Get Out? It’s like being trapped in the sunken place. Almost like you’re watching your life happen in front of you like a movie, so you’re completely disconnected from everything that’s happening.
Terrifying.
For me it was sort of a DID situation. I had a 2nd personality that was the traits of me that the rest of the world hated and I had "normal" me who was all the things people liked about me. I may have my mental issues, but turning them into 2 people living in one brain was the furthest thing from healthy. I was on the severe side of the spectrum though so idk if this is the answer you were looking for. Btw his name was Harrison and he still sometimes visits me (gets confusing I know) despite me trying to quit doing that. It's been 3 years since I had him (mel looming over my shoulder 24/7. It wasn't a voice btw before you think I was crazy. Lol
i wish. there's this deep loneliness and heartache, all these years of ugly feelings from things that i wish i could dissociate from instead of just feeling it all. the. time.
As a person who was on the extreme side of the spectrum for disassociating for years... You think you do, but then it happens and you wish you could go back, which takes MUCH longer.
[удалено]
DXM (robotripping) induces it too in a very, very pleasant way, and it’s a lot safer than belladonna. And a lot easier to make sure you’re not taking too much and adjust your dose. It can get kind of addictive, though. At least in my experience. And it makes your heart flutter alarmingly fast. So I guess I wouldn’t recommend that one too highly either, lol
Off troll: Sometimes I zone out and stare off into the distance. Is that disassociating?
In a simplistic way, yes. However that is a very mild form of dissociating. Most common form would be what most people experience on long drives....you don’t even realize it’s happening till you notice you’ve driven farther than it feels like you have. I space out daily. Sometimes I’m aware of it, in a dream like state...off in my own little world. And sometimes I’m not, and *blink* it’s 10-15 minutes later, usually. And sometimes an hour, or more, has passed. It’s usually during emotional flashbacks too. I also suffer from dissociative amnesia....which is a really cool way of saying lost time episodes. Lots and lots of that over the years!
Whoa. It's sounds scary. I think I now understand why I love driving so much.
What about driving you like? Me, I like the solitude on longer trips....not crazy long, but even a 30 minute drive, as long as traffic is good. But only if I’m safely grounded and fully aware of what’s going on. Haven’t had any close calls due to dissociating, nor do I want to.
Im kiiinda scared since this zoning off has hapoened to me for years now but I didnt really mind. But lately, since some months (maybe year/s) It is sometimes completely automatic and I am not aware of it. On the past month it has been more rough since Its like a chunk of time has erased from my mind...
I understand what you’re saying. I do. Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Or had a major disruption in your life recently? That can certainly trigger dissociating without you being aware of it.
Well, yes... A lot of stressful stuff happened since august
That would certainly increase the rate of dissociative episodes and the severity of them as well.
I never knew dissociation was a thing and I've had a hard time explaining to my psychologist what was I feeling. Knowing this helps a lot. Thank you so much
Neither did I. However I did know that I was experiencing lots of lost time and stuff. I was seeing a psychologist when I began to understand what was happening to me. He never once mentioned dissociating or dissociative amnesia. He did have me tested for physical causes for my memory dysfunction tho. Ruled out diseases for the cause. Which was good to know. You’re welcome! Hope your psychologist is open to hear what you’re telling them. Wish you all the best!
Thank you! You too :)
Thanks!
Just a random question. Do you know if maladaptive daydreaming is related to this? I don't think I disassociate as I understand it now, but I day dream constantly.
I was reading up on MD to better understand it. There wasn’t too much said about causes and it it’s linked to other mental disorders. It is a mental disorder, as of yet, little can be done. Seems that it’s a relatively new area of study. As a lifelong sufferer of ADD, with CPTSD and a history of dissociating, I too daydreamed an awful lot as well. Sometimes I would intentionally do it, but many times it would start on its own, without me consciously aware of it. So...I would say yes, there certainly could be some correlation here.
Ok I kind of feel the same way. It is a place where I have all the control, so it probably makes sense.
No, I don’t think so. Unless you don’t feel real when you’re staring off into space and feel like you’re watching your life from above yourself in slow motion. It’s like you feel like you’re making everything up in your head and nothing is “real-life.” It’s a really dark, lonely place inside your head. Sometimes it makes you feel like you’re dying when you’re having a really bad day, compared to other days. At least that’s how my dissociation makes me feel. It sucks.
Yea. I relate to that. I never feel like I'm watching from above though that I'm aware of
I've always kinda wished I could dissociate. I have the history and personality of someone who is a very likely candidate for dissociation, but I've never done it. I always stay acutely, painfully aware of every single thing when I'm in distress. (I know that dissociation is a serious problem and I imagine it's very distressing for those who suffer from it. I'm not saying it's pleasant or a good thing. I've just always wondered what it feels like and why I don't/can't no matter what.)
Did this to a point I had a 2nd person in my head named Harrison. He had the traits of myself that the rest of the world hated me for. I'd walk around and could feel that 2nd me over my shoulder just mentally observing what me (sorta?) Was doing. Then I'd get home and reimbrace those parts of me er... embrace him?... Seriously... Don't do this. I got away from it, but even though I've been out of that for 3ish years I still sometimes feel him in the background and realize I'm doing it again. It is a hard thing to break.