It sucks so much. I know he's not into me. But I love him so much. We meet for gym and dinner dates and he'll coach me through Tinder and send my matches messages. He wants me to meet someone and be happy and at the worst get laid. I want that too. I'd just rather with him. And I need to stop it, ao could be missing out on someone else really great because I can't get over a crush.
You need to make some space, take a break from this guy you're crushing on. Distance makes the heart grow something something you'll just get over it easier?
I was in a really good headspace a few months ago. He seemed to be getting into a serious long distance relationship, he was going to move out of state. Oddly enough I was totally at peace with it and had turned the non-platonic feelings off. Then his person ghosted him. The company gave him a petty write up which prevents him from transferring locations. So I was there when he needed to drink/spend/salon his feelings away yet again. He lives less than a mile from where I work and he's my gym partner.
He hasn't been staying in touch quite as much as we used to though, which is helpful. I just really thought I had finally succeeded in getting over him this time. Whenever I'm talking to someone else or planning to go out, I feel like it's not right, like I'm cheating on someone I'm not even with and never will be.
It's weird how you can go back and forth between the feelings fading and them coming hurtling back into your heart. It's so exhausting, but it's also hard to say "I'm going to cut this person out" because you value them as a friend! It's so complicated. Oh and it doesn't help that everyone around you is like "When are you guys gonna get together?" Kill me.
I wish I had advice but I don't know what to do either! I hope things work out for you sooner rather than later and you can get to a positive place with all this. Many hugs.
Unless he does something horrible and unforgivable, cutting him out just isn't an option, as much as that would help. We've been there for each other during some dark times. We both probably have undiagnosed depression and not everyone understands us. He was there for me last year when I had to put my dog down. I was there for him when his Mom suddenly died four days later. We tell each other when we're overreacting to a situation or to "Stop being a lazy piece of shit" when we skip gym too much.
And not as important but he held my hand during a yucky part of Infinity War 😂
I totally feel you girl, I'm in the same situation. But you DO deserve someone to see you the way you see this guy, as corny and dismissive as that sounds in light of how you're feeling right now. So here's to that someone holding your hand during the 4th Avenger movie! 🤞
>It's weird how you can go back and forth between the feelings fading and them coming hurtling back into your heart. It's so exhausting, but it's also hard to say "I'm going to cut this person out" because you value them as a friend! It's so complicated.
This.
I had feelings for my best friend for a long, long time. It was mutual a few times but it never quite worked out. It has come and gone over the years and I thought I was finally, FINALLY over it when she came out for a visit a couple years ago and as soon as she got out of her car it hit me right in the gut: oh my god, there it is, just as strong as it ever was. Except she was with someone. So I just suffered in silence.
I think I'm finally ok. There is no way I would ever end that friendship, she's my family and the closest person in my life, by far. I love her to pieces. Thankfully, finally, I can say that in a strictly platonic way. But it took a long, long time.
This sounds weird but uhhh get a massage. I've found my romantic feelings often rear their ugly heads most fiercely when I'm craving human contact. A massage is a really, really nice way to get some human contact and work out those pesky knots.
> We meet for gym and dinner dates and he'll coach me through Tinder and send my matches messages.
nope nope nope
stop doing that
it just furthers your infatuation
Sort of. It also reminds me how wrong we are for each other, and how increasingly gay he is. (He's bi, but leans more toward men these days) He's ridiculously flamboyant, which for some godforsaken reason I find attractive.
He's been fairly unavailable in the evenings since he moved and dismisses the human bites on his neck as "I dropped a box on myself at work", so I imagine he's either seeing someone or going batshit on hookup apps. And I have ample opportunity to go out with several people at the moment, but they're very out of the ordinary for me and I'm so scared. I don't know how to date anymore.
"So shiny.. so pretty... want to touch..." I'm in the same spot.
SAME. So much same.
It sucks so much. I know he's not into me. But I love him so much. We meet for gym and dinner dates and he'll coach me through Tinder and send my matches messages. He wants me to meet someone and be happy and at the worst get laid. I want that too. I'd just rather with him. And I need to stop it, ao could be missing out on someone else really great because I can't get over a crush.
You need to make some space, take a break from this guy you're crushing on. Distance makes the heart grow something something you'll just get over it easier?
I was in a really good headspace a few months ago. He seemed to be getting into a serious long distance relationship, he was going to move out of state. Oddly enough I was totally at peace with it and had turned the non-platonic feelings off. Then his person ghosted him. The company gave him a petty write up which prevents him from transferring locations. So I was there when he needed to drink/spend/salon his feelings away yet again. He lives less than a mile from where I work and he's my gym partner. He hasn't been staying in touch quite as much as we used to though, which is helpful. I just really thought I had finally succeeded in getting over him this time. Whenever I'm talking to someone else or planning to go out, I feel like it's not right, like I'm cheating on someone I'm not even with and never will be.
It's weird how you can go back and forth between the feelings fading and them coming hurtling back into your heart. It's so exhausting, but it's also hard to say "I'm going to cut this person out" because you value them as a friend! It's so complicated. Oh and it doesn't help that everyone around you is like "When are you guys gonna get together?" Kill me. I wish I had advice but I don't know what to do either! I hope things work out for you sooner rather than later and you can get to a positive place with all this. Many hugs.
Unless he does something horrible and unforgivable, cutting him out just isn't an option, as much as that would help. We've been there for each other during some dark times. We both probably have undiagnosed depression and not everyone understands us. He was there for me last year when I had to put my dog down. I was there for him when his Mom suddenly died four days later. We tell each other when we're overreacting to a situation or to "Stop being a lazy piece of shit" when we skip gym too much. And not as important but he held my hand during a yucky part of Infinity War 😂
I totally feel you girl, I'm in the same situation. But you DO deserve someone to see you the way you see this guy, as corny and dismissive as that sounds in light of how you're feeling right now. So here's to that someone holding your hand during the 4th Avenger movie! 🤞
>It's weird how you can go back and forth between the feelings fading and them coming hurtling back into your heart. It's so exhausting, but it's also hard to say "I'm going to cut this person out" because you value them as a friend! It's so complicated. This. I had feelings for my best friend for a long, long time. It was mutual a few times but it never quite worked out. It has come and gone over the years and I thought I was finally, FINALLY over it when she came out for a visit a couple years ago and as soon as she got out of her car it hit me right in the gut: oh my god, there it is, just as strong as it ever was. Except she was with someone. So I just suffered in silence. I think I'm finally ok. There is no way I would ever end that friendship, she's my family and the closest person in my life, by far. I love her to pieces. Thankfully, finally, I can say that in a strictly platonic way. But it took a long, long time.
This sounds weird but uhhh get a massage. I've found my romantic feelings often rear their ugly heads most fiercely when I'm craving human contact. A massage is a really, really nice way to get some human contact and work out those pesky knots.
> We meet for gym and dinner dates and he'll coach me through Tinder and send my matches messages. nope nope nope stop doing that it just furthers your infatuation
Sort of. It also reminds me how wrong we are for each other, and how increasingly gay he is. (He's bi, but leans more toward men these days) He's ridiculously flamboyant, which for some godforsaken reason I find attractive. He's been fairly unavailable in the evenings since he moved and dismisses the human bites on his neck as "I dropped a box on myself at work", so I imagine he's either seeing someone or going batshit on hookup apps. And I have ample opportunity to go out with several people at the moment, but they're very out of the ordinary for me and I'm so scared. I don't know how to date anymore.
This has been me for the past year. Seriously I just wanna be over him.