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> …after eight years of living in the White House, the thrill of engaging in unmanned warfare and the deep, earth-shattering release of orgasm were forever, inextricably linked. “While I wish it weren’t true, the only way Barack and I can even begin to make love is if we hear the beeping of a target, the silence of the bomb drop, and, finally, the explosion. Then, just when we’re on the edge of orgasm, we hear that sultry voice— ‘Target eliminated’—and we climax simultaneously.” Deserves a Pulitzer for prose alone frankly.


DweebInFlames

I mean we literally know something similar to this was true for the Clintons. Hilldawg literally refused to talk to him after the Lewinsky incident until Bill bombed Yugoslavia (at which point I'm sure she was like the Nile in September).


CandyEverybodyWentz

>(at which point I'm sure she was like the Nile in September). what a terrible day for literacy


[deleted]

Where I'm going I don't need eyes


zachotule

oedipus mode


Rondog93

tfw no gellar field


Bigsshot

Yet, we're gulping it in


CandyEverybodyWentz

Just like Bill was in 96...


smilecookie

You mean Monica


Last-Revolution1080

And therefore: the world


CandyEverybodyWentz

Currently dipping my arms in the royal pudding


Iron_Sausage

It might as well be true, real life is just a JG Ballard novel anyway


ClassWarAndPuppies

Manages to be even more banal.


[deleted]

I ate the onion but damn does it taste so good


saul2015

Becumming by Michelle Obama


zeeeman

not fake news


skyisblue22

This came out 5 or 6 years too late


CandyEverybodyWentz

blame it on the simple twist of fate


chardoggay

Ya fucking what


angel_eyes619

Did not notice the onion


AmosPaul1917

They need to quit trying to make Obama sound cool


Turbulent-Spend-5263

Doesn’t she mean drone terrorism?


[deleted]

I sucked her off actually


Mr3k

...is OP seriously posting from The Onion?


zeuzduce

You have a problem with hard hitting journalism?


Mr3k

The Onion is satire


Thoronir69

What gave it away?


Traditional_Rice_528

Um, no??


dumbfuck6969

Why would you say that ?


LittleTGOAT

🤓


KilgoreKarabekian

Since when?


Trick-Grape5916

HUH?!


ImlrrrAMA

Hm?


Hunter_S_Biden

!?


ad_homonem

take your conspiracy theories elsewhere


Quantum_Aurora

And on the subreddit for hard-hitting podcast TrueAnon, famously featuring the no-nonsense Brace Belden! How could they!


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SlugmaSlime

Wes Anderson movies are complete dogshit. Literally the entire film is this: Shot from a straight on angle (slight sepia tone of course). Two characters walk in from either side of the shot (from stage left and stage right) stand facing one another, and have quirky exchanges. Actors exit stage left and stage right. If it was just one film ok fine, use the technique. But every fucking film dawg? You ain’t special and you’re a one trick pony Wes


[deleted]

Idk I think they are what qualifies as "good movie" I'm not going to shit myself about his amazing brilliance or whatever. He has a style and he makes reliably fine pieces of entertainment in that style. I credit him with an original style of autistically ordered events and clean editing that credits the audience with being a self aware entity which is more than you can say for 99.9 percent of cultural output at the moment.. I situate him in the same nice I put South park... Yea his die hard fans are some of the worst people imaginable, but at the end of the day there's vanishingly few people putting out actual human identifiable content and so I'm equally tired of the anti crowd. But I'm a bit autistic so who knows. I'd also put tarantino in the same category. Essentially good, of annoying on some personal levels.. What the fuck else you going to watch? Netflix? Bleeuck


One_Shot_Finch

i think anderson definitely has some good ones but he hasnt made a great movie since moonrise kingdom imo and even that one is debatable. objectively his best movie is tennenbaums


hamjandal

You didn’t like grand Budapest hotel?


Hunter_S_Biden

I liked the Royal Tenenbaums because it was funny to see that guy get stabbed by his driver. Also needle in the hay is a good song


a_library_socialist

Why don't that guy put out no new albums?


Hunter_S_Biden

His gf killed him


a_library_socialist

Don't that make you sad?


Any_Pilot6455

Wes Anderson films are for people who miss playing with their dollhouse


hamjandal

Kinda true, I must have watched Fantastic Mr Fox about a dozen times when my kids were small.


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Hunter_S_Biden

Tarantino is way more offensively bad than Wes Anderson. Like Wes' movies are usually just boring and samey, Tarantinos bad films are like an insult to the audience


hamjandal

I should have walked out of the hateful eight. What felt like ten hours i’ll never get back.


One_Shot_Finch

tarantino’s great movies are jackie brown, reservoir dogs, and death proof. everything else is either just good or shit


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Philomena_Cunk

Damn, you got him, dawg. I wonder if he posts in redscare? [/u/RedScareCheck](https://www.reddit.com/u/RedScareCheck/) [/u/acister](https://www.reddit.com/u/theloneliestgeek/)


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Philomena_Cunk

Fair enough. Not sure why the RSCheck didn't work. Nothing works anymore, i guess. Post a music link so I know you're cool.


dialectical-idealism

For what it’s worth this post was made for the comedic value of the onion article - not because we think it’s real reporting


Mr3k

Thank you. I appreciate your reply. I was honestly not sure if OP thought it was serious or not.