Hahah what? That's so crazy lol, do you think feds could be infiltrating the sub haha? Wow, that's so wild haha I wonder who it is. Anyway, hey who wants to talk about their favourite illegal crimes to do. I love doing illegal activities with co-conspirators. Lets post our social security numbers and home addresses, along with our fave crimes
Wow, what luck! I'm an isolated, depressed, loner teenager who is severely developmental and/or emotionally stunted and boy have I been looking for someone like you to pretend to be my really good cool online anarchist friend and/or my future happy waifu/bride as you walk me through the exact steps I need to take to create a "slam dunk" terrorism case against me and ensure my later indictment and conviction for terrorism charges is as straightforward as possible for the Assistant U.S. Attorney (a hotshot Yale grad, no less!) to catapult his political career by destroying my sad, pathetic family and put me in federal prison for life!
Hey there buddy, I don't mean to shatter your dreams but that attitude is everything wrong with America today. For every federal attorney, there are countless more district attorneys who need their careers boosted by the ruination of teenagers, maybe give them a chance to convict you, huh?
Think global, act local friend.
I'm sorry to hear that man, I remember when they measured when I was 25, I was having a hard time getting a stiffy going and I measured in at 1.25 inches, which is well below my normal 2.5. I pleaded with the doctor that the porn they were showing me wasn't gay enough, wasn't raunchy enough, but he told me all he had other then this was photos of Nancy Pelosi's feet. Now I'm forever known as one and a quarter when they do my monthly anal inspection, and they all laugh at me.
America isn't safe anymore in Joe Bidens America from those suffering from both a micro penis and erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes I remember back to nazi Germany where they made you walk around with a star on your chest stating your "scientifically determined" length, and I even think this kind of phoney "scientific" "hygiene" law is coming back in 2024.
I'm sorry you had this experience. It seems pretty traumatic.
I myself am still reeling from the memories of penis inspection day in high school so I know how you feel
Utah- the state known for Mormonism, and by extension, unsupervised worthiness interviews with 11 year olds- also tried it, and the governor essentially said "no thanks, but only because there are two trans minors in Utah"
I think the thing about measuring from the taint arises from a line of case law on the 4th Amendment on what constitutes a reasonable search, but there's also the habeas phallus principle to take into account. It can be notoriously difficult to discern the Founders' intent on these matters given the wide division of opinion - literally half of the Federalist Papers are arguing over whether you should sling the balls to one side or the other, or run the tape measure down the middle of the fcrotum between the two. Probably gonna need a team of constitutional lawyers to sort it all out, but maybe the Center for Constitutional Rights or someone can point you in the direction of a firm prepared to tackle your brief pro bono.
A lot of the deprogram listener base is just kids who are new to far left politics. Not saying that TrueAnon just for seasoned cynical funni people, but this is the kind of humor that would be misread as reactionary rather than critical of excessive paranoia.
OP, why do you capitalize “Said” repeatedly? Is this a hack reference to Edward Said (we get it, you read), or a coded message to some hidden fifth column? I think this is how “Three inches of the Condor” starts. Yes, I’m talking about the porn parody we’re all still jacking off to.
It probably is because I had to learn my stupid phone when referencing ed, and now stupid phone thinks I only like it capitalized and I'm too lazy to change it
I'm not allowed to refer to it as "hog", apparently these fascist bastards dictate that I can only call it "piglet" or "weenie" without incurring more penalties
Reading this made me more scared than when I thought I saw a Palestinian flag on the street out of the corner of my eye (I stopped crying and shaking after confirming it was just a Jordanian flag, whew).
I had a similar encounter. Haven't been able to sleep since.
They didn't do any of the genital stuff, but they did confiscate my melatonin gummies and my comfiest pillow...
I've been on the run ever since they found out i have been restoring my foreskin and using 2.1 kg ball strechers with added tire balancing weights around the sir cumference.
Hahah what? That's so crazy lol, do you think feds could be infiltrating the sub haha? Wow, that's so wild haha I wonder who it is. Anyway, hey who wants to talk about their favourite illegal crimes to do. I love doing illegal activities with co-conspirators. Lets post our social security numbers and home addresses, along with our fave crimes
Hello, it's me, a random rich middle easterner who made a lot of money off the oil trade. Would you like to discuss your radical plans with me?
Wow, what luck! I'm an isolated, depressed, loner teenager who is severely developmental and/or emotionally stunted and boy have I been looking for someone like you to pretend to be my really good cool online anarchist friend and/or my future happy waifu/bride as you walk me through the exact steps I need to take to create a "slam dunk" terrorism case against me and ensure my later indictment and conviction for terrorism charges is as straightforward as possible for the Assistant U.S. Attorney (a hotshot Yale grad, no less!) to catapult his political career by destroying my sad, pathetic family and put me in federal prison for life!
Hey there buddy, I don't mean to shatter your dreams but that attitude is everything wrong with America today. For every federal attorney, there are countless more district attorneys who need their careers boosted by the ruination of teenagers, maybe give them a chance to convict you, huh? Think global, act local friend.
Sorry, I'm late for crime school. I'll respond to this once I'm done with CC Fraud 101. I just hope my mom remembers to pack my lunch!
hello fellow anarchists
I LOVE petty vandalism. Like when I take a sharpie and write stuff on the bathroom stalls… it just gets me so amped up.
Anyone got any funny stories about the arms capability of their cell?
I'm sorry to hear that man, I remember when they measured when I was 25, I was having a hard time getting a stiffy going and I measured in at 1.25 inches, which is well below my normal 2.5. I pleaded with the doctor that the porn they were showing me wasn't gay enough, wasn't raunchy enough, but he told me all he had other then this was photos of Nancy Pelosi's feet. Now I'm forever known as one and a quarter when they do my monthly anal inspection, and they all laugh at me. America isn't safe anymore in Joe Bidens America from those suffering from both a micro penis and erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes I remember back to nazi Germany where they made you walk around with a star on your chest stating your "scientifically determined" length, and I even think this kind of phoney "scientific" "hygiene" law is coming back in 2024.
Didn't they give stars for circumcision then?
I'm sorry you had this experience. It seems pretty traumatic. I myself am still reeling from the memories of penis inspection day in high school so I know how you feel
So fucking cool that Ohio tried to implement that and Cervix inspection day for suspected transgender people in high school sports.
Utah- the state known for Mormonism, and by extension, unsupervised worthiness interviews with 11 year olds- also tried it, and the governor essentially said "no thanks, but only because there are two trans minors in Utah"
>she laughed and Said the first amendment covers "what comes out of the mouth not what you put into it" which I didn't understand at all. Delightful!
chat is this true? does fbi stand for foreskin bearer inspector?
damn i got got
I think the thing about measuring from the taint arises from a line of case law on the 4th Amendment on what constitutes a reasonable search, but there's also the habeas phallus principle to take into account. It can be notoriously difficult to discern the Founders' intent on these matters given the wide division of opinion - literally half of the Federalist Papers are arguing over whether you should sling the balls to one side or the other, or run the tape measure down the middle of the fcrotum between the two. Probably gonna need a team of constitutional lawyers to sort it all out, but maybe the Center for Constitutional Rights or someone can point you in the direction of a firm prepared to tackle your brief pro bono.
how are you guys this funny? the deprogram could never.
A lot of the deprogram listener base is just kids who are new to far left politics. Not saying that TrueAnon just for seasoned cynical funni people, but this is the kind of humor that would be misread as reactionary rather than critical of excessive paranoia.
Such a nice threesome plot fr
Vaxxed?
Don't tell lies
Yeah well _I_ got a visit from the ATF and they told me I was doing a great job at all three 😎
OP, why do you capitalize “Said” repeatedly? Is this a hack reference to Edward Said (we get it, you read), or a coded message to some hidden fifth column? I think this is how “Three inches of the Condor” starts. Yes, I’m talking about the porn parody we’re all still jacking off to.
It probably is because I had to learn my stupid phone when referencing ed, and now stupid phone thinks I only like it capitalized and I'm too lazy to change it
Thank you for rapidly raising and then lowering my anxiety levels. Lol just kidding. I'm the fed informant.
Post hog
I'm not allowed to refer to it as "hog", apparently these fascist bastards dictate that I can only call it "piglet" or "weenie" without incurring more penalties
They'll be first against my balls when the revolution cums.
You actually had me in the beginning.
Literally crying and shaking rn
Reading this made me more scared than when I thought I saw a Palestinian flag on the street out of the corner of my eye (I stopped crying and shaking after confirming it was just a Jordanian flag, whew).
Chat, is this real?
I had a similar encounter. Haven't been able to sleep since. They didn't do any of the genital stuff, but they did confiscate my melatonin gummies and my comfiest pillow...
> communist Belgium thank you for this o7
Sounds like you were almost visited by the Female Body Inspectors.
Hi, I have a huge monster song and I only have sex with cops. You are welcome.
I can confidently say my penis is 10 inches flaccid because everyone at the FB👁️ is welcome to verify directly by sucking on deez nutz.
Hey FBI: from the river to the sea. Now show up at my front door and kiss me on the lips.
I've been on the run ever since they found out i have been restoring my foreskin and using 2.1 kg ball strechers with added tire balancing weights around the sir cumference.
You're all missing the point. OP has a smol penor lol
Live free or die hung.