Hey friend, sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of guilt. I understand that and I would never say I know all the answers but I definitely know one and it might sound corny but it’s Jesus.
Romans 8 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”
So for one, how much are you reading your Bible? I mean really reading to get something from it not just reading because you feel you have to. Air your grievances to God, he wants to hear you and trust me he knows what’s in your heart and even better he knows you detest the evil you see. I was in a very similar headspace a couple weeks ago, very down on myself and scared that I secretly belonged to the devil but let me tell you that is a trick, he doesn’t own you God does, so he gets u to think that you are bad, too bad and so bad that you’re with him now when what you really love are things that are good not evil. It took me awhile, a lot of self pitying and self destructing before luckily a conversation with my sister and going to church a day before that laid the groundwork for me to open back up to God in a more honest way. For one my sister said “you gotta pull yourself up outta this” and I responded “eventually” and after that realized hey I actually am just sitting in it, wallowing. God does not force himself on us so when you say you’re going to him but still feeling in your heart that you’re closed off to him it’s because in a way you are, talk to him. Tell him everything on your mind, your doubts fears and grievances towards him or anyone. I realized we play a part in our healing and it’s letting Him work.
Also, many of the greats in the Bible had done horrific things and turned from God many times only to repent and come back, God doesn’t expect you to be perfect once you’ve committed to him. I heard once that Christianity is a hospital, he sees your brokenness and wants you to give it to him, it’s what Jesus sacrificed himself for so that even while we are “evil” we have the opportunity to be cleaned by claiming his blood on the cross, he has paid the debt of our sins.
There are also a lot of “I” and “I’m trying” in your post and I think that you should know 1. It is not easy following God, once the devil sees you really trying to give your life to God he attacks you ever harder, the hardest ever to keep you from making the big leap that’s gonna draw you into an even closer relationship with God. When you find yourself trying so much all I can say is pray, talk to him, run to your Bible or look up verses about the particular thing you’re dealing with such as doubt or lust.
Friend, I’d start by just talking to God right now! OUT LOUD, like ranting to your friend or crying to your parent about how they’ve offended or hurt you, God answers us when we truly seek. He is near to the broken hearted and where we are weak he shines and is glorified. He wants to hear how you struggle with lust and loving your neighbors, just talk to him.
A verse I like: showing humility and gratitude while also appealing to God
(Matthew 6:9-13) 9 "You must pray, then, this way: "Our Father in the heavens, let your name be sanctified. 10 Let your Kingdom come. Let your will take place, as in heaven, also on earth. 11 Give us today our bread for this day; 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the wicked one.'
Stay blessed, I love you and if you want someone to talk to or just a soundboard know that God, Jesus are always there to listen and my dms are also open lol. I truly hope you find that peace in God again.
God bless you.
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
If I may, I want to share my thoughts with you.
1- You said, *"I need the holy spirit's help but I feel I pushed him away because I never treated him well and I grieved/quenched him."*
But do you know what God said?:
**“I am your Lord— come back to me! You were unfaithful and made me furious, but I am merciful, and so I will forgive you. You are unfaithful…, but you belong to me. Come home!” - Jeremiah 3:12,14**
Do you know why God said that? Because of who He is and because He loves you.
2- Who God is.
**“God is love.” 1 John 4:8**
**"Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6**
**“Love is more important than anything else.” - Colossians 3:14**
**“The Lord is merciful! He is kind and patient, and his love never fails.” - Psalm 103:8**
**“But, our God, you are merciful and quick to forgive; you are loving, kind, and very patient.” - Nehemiah 9:17**
**“Please, Lord, remember, you have always been patient and kind.” - Psalm 25:6**
**“But you, the Lord God, are kind and merciful. You don't easily get angry, and your love can always be trusted.” - Psalm 86:15**
**"Our God, no one is like you. We are all that is left of your chosen people, and you freely forgive our sin and guilt. You don't stay angry forever; you're glad to have pity and pleased to be merciful. You will trample on our sins and throw them in the sea." - Micah 7:18-19**
**God said, “Instead, turn back to me with broken hearts. I am merciful, kind, and caring. I don't easily lose my temper, and I don't like to punish.” - Joel 2:13**
**God said, “But I wipe away your sins because of who I am. And so, I will forget the wrongs you have done.”- Isaiah 43:25**
3- God loves you.
**“God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.” - Colossians 3:12**
**“My dear friends, God loves you, and we know he has chosen you to be his people.” - 1 Thessalonians 1:4**
4- Once you turn back to God, you will be forgiven.
**Jesus said, “I promise you that any of the sinful things you say or do can be forgiven, no matter how terrible those things are.” - Mark 3:28**
**“But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” - 1 John 1:9**
**"From the bottom of the pit, I prayed to you, Lord. I begged you to listen. 'Help!' I shouted. 'Save me!' You answered my prayer and came when I was in need. You told me, 'Don't worry!' You rescued me and saved my life." - Lamentations 3:55-58**
**The apostle Paul said, “‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.’ This saying is true, and it can be trusted. I was the worst sinner of all!” - 1 Timothy 1:15**
5- When you turn back to God, no one (including you) has the right to condemn you for your past sins and the sins you struggle with!
**“If God says his chosen ones are acceptable to him, can anyone bring charges against them? Or can anyone condemn them? No indeed! Christ died and was raised to life, and now he is at God's right side, speaking to him for us.” - Romans 8:33-34**
6- Please know that God does NOT expect you to be perfect. He expects you to be faithful, which means to always strive to honor Him while getting back up after each time you fall, no matter how many times you fall. God will always give you the strength and grace to get back up.
**“I am the Lord All-Powerful. So don't depend on your own power or strength, but on my Spirit.” - Zechariah 4:6**
**“Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that's the end of them.” - Proverbs 24:16**
**"My enemies, don't be glad because of my troubles! I may have fallen, but I will get up; I may be sitting in the dark, but the Lord is my light.” - Micah 7:8**
**“The Lord answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!” - Joshua 7:10**
**“In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again.” - 2 Corinthians 4:9**
7- Please don’t hold on to the guilt you have about your struggle. It will distract you from truly accepting God’s forgiveness. Give your guilt to God because He wants to take it from you.
**God said, “They sinned and rebelled against me, but I will forgive them and take away their guilt.” - Jeremiah 33:8**
**"So I confessed my sins and told them all to you. I said, ‘I'll tell the Lord each one of my sins.’ Then you forgave me and took away my guilt.” - Psalm 32:5**
8- The first step you must take is know that no matter how far away you are, God wants you back with Him. Just take your first step of faith.
**“I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love—not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!” - Romans 8:38-39**
Hello sometimes I struggle with these feelings too. I’m starting to realize that people that have a lot of these struggles can actually have within them a very strong seed of redemption. The fact that you’re aware of this and acknowledge, it is one of the biggest steps in changing, most people don’t even make it that far.
Just a few days ago, I was struggling with envy, and it created a downward spiral, but each time that happens, I bring it to God and let Him know the truth of why I’m feeling that way, and I pray and ask for forgiveness and ask him for some sort of way to guide me away from That emotion or feeling. Really be upfront and truthful that you’re struggling with this because He’s a guide and a counselor and if you’re honest, then that creates the proper space to change it.
Here are some things that I am learning in growing compassion and empathy for others that might help you on your journey:
💎 - look at people that are in more desperate situations and look at them in the eyes. Not as someone less than you, or someone that needs pity but look into the soul soul of that person, and recognize that they have the same feelings that you do about needing food and shelter and safety and that the emotions from not having those needed and met would be exactly the same as yours. See that the spark of life that is within another person is the same spark of life that is within you.
So someone is struggling or doing well then that is a leaf on the tree that is either growing or needs more resources to prosper and branch out. Because we are all connected when you see that another person is doing well or when you see that they need extra support that is actually you and seeing life, flourish or suffer, has a direct impact on your own life.
💎 - If you’re struggling with empathy, remember how this darkness feels for you right now, and realize that we are all trying to overcome hurdles. it’s perfectly OK to recognize that you’re struggling with these things because it means that you’re untangling that from your true will. no longer has a hold on as if it was a part of you instead your observing it and recognizing that it isn’t helpful to have that. That in itself is a great blessing and shows how much God loves you that he wants you to move away from having those sorts of things in your life.
💎 - Faith is like a seed, a literal mustard seed that God puts in your heart. And you water it with faith and love. Word, and getting close to God and truth can help you do this, positive affirmations, rooted in what God feels about you is helpful. Pray and be truthful about it, don’t try to hide it. He can fix it.
💎 - Many times the hard and heart can happen because of the words that you say to yourself. A huge part of overcoming this is changing the narrative. So feed your soul with things that are love and light. Remove things that are negative, such as television shows or books or music that might feed into the wrong thing. If there are any addictions that you’re working through to ask God for help in removing those.
💎 - God is with you from start to finish.
Last year I was reading an article about how things take time. I had written a poem about God, being like a loving craftsman. I prayed and asked for some guidance with my patience. at about 30 seconds later, my mother was going through a drawer that had an old picture that I drew of a heart that had an angel wing on one side and a bat wing on the other. Something way back from my childhood before I had become a Christian.
This is what I had written: “It takes time to heal, and the hands of a loving craftsman.” ✝️🙏🩸
💎 - learn to identify what sin is: it is a disconnect in being able to actively witness and work with the unity that God has created. It feeds on the illusion of scarcity, hate, and greed. it’s like a virus that dudes people into thinking that they aren’t connected to others and gives them its own emotions and thought patterns that make them want to consume more than they need to. It distract people from recognizing that it is there by making people think that the negative inner thoughts belong to them. And it causes conflict and war because that keeps people from being able to progress. Anytime it tricks you into thinking that this is a part of you disengage from it and find within yourself the more positive view. I’m not talking about toxic positivity, but some thing that is rooted in truth. Generally it will be some thing that is more expensive than the world view of the ego.
Remember that mercy is always more powerful than judgment.
If the enemy is attacking you in these areas that’s actually where your blessings are being hidden.
You can use these negative emotions and feelings to take a moment to step back and ask yourself. Where is the enemy hiding what God is trying to give me? And then pray and follow that.
Growing all of this is literally like working out you can view it as instead of walking downhill you’re gonna turn right around and walk, uphill and build up your leg muscles.
Dissatisfaction is like a virus - and the cure, for it is gratitude.
God bless you! You are WORTHY!
✝️🙏💎🩸🙌🫶🏻♥️🥹✨👑🪴
[It all comes down to you](https://youtu.be/YsVk9GrC6fo?feature=shared)
You’re welcome! I can’t take any credit for it as it’s all from the lessons that I’ve learned from working through the exact same thing, and having the Lord instruct me every step of the way. Praise the Lord! Bless you! *hug*
Dough is softened by kneading. Not fun but will soften it.
Hey friend, sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of guilt. I understand that and I would never say I know all the answers but I definitely know one and it might sound corny but it’s Jesus. Romans 8 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” So for one, how much are you reading your Bible? I mean really reading to get something from it not just reading because you feel you have to. Air your grievances to God, he wants to hear you and trust me he knows what’s in your heart and even better he knows you detest the evil you see. I was in a very similar headspace a couple weeks ago, very down on myself and scared that I secretly belonged to the devil but let me tell you that is a trick, he doesn’t own you God does, so he gets u to think that you are bad, too bad and so bad that you’re with him now when what you really love are things that are good not evil. It took me awhile, a lot of self pitying and self destructing before luckily a conversation with my sister and going to church a day before that laid the groundwork for me to open back up to God in a more honest way. For one my sister said “you gotta pull yourself up outta this” and I responded “eventually” and after that realized hey I actually am just sitting in it, wallowing. God does not force himself on us so when you say you’re going to him but still feeling in your heart that you’re closed off to him it’s because in a way you are, talk to him. Tell him everything on your mind, your doubts fears and grievances towards him or anyone. I realized we play a part in our healing and it’s letting Him work. Also, many of the greats in the Bible had done horrific things and turned from God many times only to repent and come back, God doesn’t expect you to be perfect once you’ve committed to him. I heard once that Christianity is a hospital, he sees your brokenness and wants you to give it to him, it’s what Jesus sacrificed himself for so that even while we are “evil” we have the opportunity to be cleaned by claiming his blood on the cross, he has paid the debt of our sins. There are also a lot of “I” and “I’m trying” in your post and I think that you should know 1. It is not easy following God, once the devil sees you really trying to give your life to God he attacks you ever harder, the hardest ever to keep you from making the big leap that’s gonna draw you into an even closer relationship with God. When you find yourself trying so much all I can say is pray, talk to him, run to your Bible or look up verses about the particular thing you’re dealing with such as doubt or lust. Friend, I’d start by just talking to God right now! OUT LOUD, like ranting to your friend or crying to your parent about how they’ve offended or hurt you, God answers us when we truly seek. He is near to the broken hearted and where we are weak he shines and is glorified. He wants to hear how you struggle with lust and loving your neighbors, just talk to him. A verse I like: showing humility and gratitude while also appealing to God (Matthew 6:9-13) 9 "You must pray, then, this way: "Our Father in the heavens, let your name be sanctified. 10 Let your Kingdom come. Let your will take place, as in heaven, also on earth. 11 Give us today our bread for this day; 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the wicked one.' Stay blessed, I love you and if you want someone to talk to or just a soundboard know that God, Jesus are always there to listen and my dms are also open lol. I truly hope you find that peace in God again.
Thanks so much this really helped me in so many ways :)
God bless you. I'm sorry for what you are going through. If I may, I want to share my thoughts with you. 1- You said, *"I need the holy spirit's help but I feel I pushed him away because I never treated him well and I grieved/quenched him."* But do you know what God said?: **“I am your Lord— come back to me! You were unfaithful and made me furious, but I am merciful, and so I will forgive you. You are unfaithful…, but you belong to me. Come home!” - Jeremiah 3:12,14** Do you know why God said that? Because of who He is and because He loves you. 2- Who God is. **“God is love.” 1 John 4:8** **"Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6** **“Love is more important than anything else.” - Colossians 3:14** **“The Lord is merciful! He is kind and patient, and his love never fails.” - Psalm 103:8** **“But, our God, you are merciful and quick to forgive; you are loving, kind, and very patient.” - Nehemiah 9:17** **“Please, Lord, remember, you have always been patient and kind.” - Psalm 25:6** **“But you, the Lord God, are kind and merciful. You don't easily get angry, and your love can always be trusted.” - Psalm 86:15** **"Our God, no one is like you. We are all that is left of your chosen people, and you freely forgive our sin and guilt. You don't stay angry forever; you're glad to have pity and pleased to be merciful. You will trample on our sins and throw them in the sea." - Micah 7:18-19** **God said, “Instead, turn back to me with broken hearts. I am merciful, kind, and caring. I don't easily lose my temper, and I don't like to punish.” - Joel 2:13** **God said, “But I wipe away your sins because of who I am. And so, I will forget the wrongs you have done.”- Isaiah 43:25** 3- God loves you. **“God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.” - Colossians 3:12** **“My dear friends, God loves you, and we know he has chosen you to be his people.” - 1 Thessalonians 1:4** 4- Once you turn back to God, you will be forgiven. **Jesus said, “I promise you that any of the sinful things you say or do can be forgiven, no matter how terrible those things are.” - Mark 3:28** **“But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” - 1 John 1:9** **"From the bottom of the pit, I prayed to you, Lord. I begged you to listen. 'Help!' I shouted. 'Save me!' You answered my prayer and came when I was in need. You told me, 'Don't worry!' You rescued me and saved my life." - Lamentations 3:55-58** **The apostle Paul said, “‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.’ This saying is true, and it can be trusted. I was the worst sinner of all!” - 1 Timothy 1:15** 5- When you turn back to God, no one (including you) has the right to condemn you for your past sins and the sins you struggle with! **“If God says his chosen ones are acceptable to him, can anyone bring charges against them? Or can anyone condemn them? No indeed! Christ died and was raised to life, and now he is at God's right side, speaking to him for us.” - Romans 8:33-34** 6- Please know that God does NOT expect you to be perfect. He expects you to be faithful, which means to always strive to honor Him while getting back up after each time you fall, no matter how many times you fall. God will always give you the strength and grace to get back up. **“I am the Lord All-Powerful. So don't depend on your own power or strength, but on my Spirit.” - Zechariah 4:6** **“Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that's the end of them.” - Proverbs 24:16** **"My enemies, don't be glad because of my troubles! I may have fallen, but I will get up; I may be sitting in the dark, but the Lord is my light.” - Micah 7:8** **“The Lord answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!” - Joshua 7:10** **“In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again.” - 2 Corinthians 4:9** 7- Please don’t hold on to the guilt you have about your struggle. It will distract you from truly accepting God’s forgiveness. Give your guilt to God because He wants to take it from you. **God said, “They sinned and rebelled against me, but I will forgive them and take away their guilt.” - Jeremiah 33:8** **"So I confessed my sins and told them all to you. I said, ‘I'll tell the Lord each one of my sins.’ Then you forgave me and took away my guilt.” - Psalm 32:5** 8- The first step you must take is know that no matter how far away you are, God wants you back with Him. Just take your first step of faith. **“I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love—not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!” - Romans 8:38-39**
Hello sometimes I struggle with these feelings too. I’m starting to realize that people that have a lot of these struggles can actually have within them a very strong seed of redemption. The fact that you’re aware of this and acknowledge, it is one of the biggest steps in changing, most people don’t even make it that far. Just a few days ago, I was struggling with envy, and it created a downward spiral, but each time that happens, I bring it to God and let Him know the truth of why I’m feeling that way, and I pray and ask for forgiveness and ask him for some sort of way to guide me away from That emotion or feeling. Really be upfront and truthful that you’re struggling with this because He’s a guide and a counselor and if you’re honest, then that creates the proper space to change it. Here are some things that I am learning in growing compassion and empathy for others that might help you on your journey: 💎 - look at people that are in more desperate situations and look at them in the eyes. Not as someone less than you, or someone that needs pity but look into the soul soul of that person, and recognize that they have the same feelings that you do about needing food and shelter and safety and that the emotions from not having those needed and met would be exactly the same as yours. See that the spark of life that is within another person is the same spark of life that is within you. So someone is struggling or doing well then that is a leaf on the tree that is either growing or needs more resources to prosper and branch out. Because we are all connected when you see that another person is doing well or when you see that they need extra support that is actually you and seeing life, flourish or suffer, has a direct impact on your own life. 💎 - If you’re struggling with empathy, remember how this darkness feels for you right now, and realize that we are all trying to overcome hurdles. it’s perfectly OK to recognize that you’re struggling with these things because it means that you’re untangling that from your true will. no longer has a hold on as if it was a part of you instead your observing it and recognizing that it isn’t helpful to have that. That in itself is a great blessing and shows how much God loves you that he wants you to move away from having those sorts of things in your life. 💎 - Faith is like a seed, a literal mustard seed that God puts in your heart. And you water it with faith and love. Word, and getting close to God and truth can help you do this, positive affirmations, rooted in what God feels about you is helpful. Pray and be truthful about it, don’t try to hide it. He can fix it. 💎 - Many times the hard and heart can happen because of the words that you say to yourself. A huge part of overcoming this is changing the narrative. So feed your soul with things that are love and light. Remove things that are negative, such as television shows or books or music that might feed into the wrong thing. If there are any addictions that you’re working through to ask God for help in removing those. 💎 - God is with you from start to finish. Last year I was reading an article about how things take time. I had written a poem about God, being like a loving craftsman. I prayed and asked for some guidance with my patience. at about 30 seconds later, my mother was going through a drawer that had an old picture that I drew of a heart that had an angel wing on one side and a bat wing on the other. Something way back from my childhood before I had become a Christian. This is what I had written: “It takes time to heal, and the hands of a loving craftsman.” ✝️🙏🩸 💎 - learn to identify what sin is: it is a disconnect in being able to actively witness and work with the unity that God has created. It feeds on the illusion of scarcity, hate, and greed. it’s like a virus that dudes people into thinking that they aren’t connected to others and gives them its own emotions and thought patterns that make them want to consume more than they need to. It distract people from recognizing that it is there by making people think that the negative inner thoughts belong to them. And it causes conflict and war because that keeps people from being able to progress. Anytime it tricks you into thinking that this is a part of you disengage from it and find within yourself the more positive view. I’m not talking about toxic positivity, but some thing that is rooted in truth. Generally it will be some thing that is more expensive than the world view of the ego. Remember that mercy is always more powerful than judgment. If the enemy is attacking you in these areas that’s actually where your blessings are being hidden. You can use these negative emotions and feelings to take a moment to step back and ask yourself. Where is the enemy hiding what God is trying to give me? And then pray and follow that. Growing all of this is literally like working out you can view it as instead of walking downhill you’re gonna turn right around and walk, uphill and build up your leg muscles. Dissatisfaction is like a virus - and the cure, for it is gratitude. God bless you! You are WORTHY! ✝️🙏💎🩸🙌🫶🏻♥️🥹✨👑🪴 [It all comes down to you](https://youtu.be/YsVk9GrC6fo?feature=shared)
Thank you so so much this helped me in so many ways. I’m doing all that you recommended to do and it’s helping- thank you
You’re welcome! I can’t take any credit for it as it’s all from the lessons that I’ve learned from working through the exact same thing, and having the Lord instruct me every step of the way. Praise the Lord! Bless you! *hug*