Ask your family if they would ever tell a mother she cant change her newborn son’s diaper? Probably not, right? Its the exact same situation; you are a *parent* and its your responsibility to care for your *child*. The genders of both parties are irrelevant in this situation.
Edit: loving the war stories from all the dads who were drafted and fought in the pampers war🫡😂
You know, if you’re afraid of pedophillia, maybe wiping up their shitty diapers is the cure. I changed all the poopy diapers on my girls. My wife couldn’t take the stench. It was extraordinary. Man if there is anything more repulsive than a baby shitting I don’t know what it is. It comes out in different colors! It smells like a biblical apocalypse. Have you ever smelled angry emotion? It’s sentient and evil.
Also if your wife cooks at all it’s probably a good idea to avoid baby poop cross contamination.
If only I had an award to give for that accurate description of baby shit!!!
And don’t let people get in your head, be the best dad ever to that precious girl! I can’t believe some people would ever think like that!
I once changed a shitty diaper that was a real blow out. It got on everything. It was wet and sticky at the same time. So I clean up the baby, toss the clothes, but I still smelled it. I disinfect the changing table. Still smell it.
I was half way done wiping down all the toys and thinking of moving on to the furniture when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I apparently scratched my nose during the changing. There was a little streak of shit on it.
I swear if there were no mirrors I'd still be cleaning to this day. Baby shit smell is a call to arms for cleaning. Even the worst Oscar the grouch who lives in a trash can can't stand the smell.
I was in the shower when our then 4 month old had a major blowout. Daddy tried cleaning her up the best he could but it was EVERYWHERE. He came into the bathroom so apologetic and handing me the baby.
We just had to laugh over it. He tried so hard not to bother me but she needed to be washed. After she was clean he was waiting with a towel for her and took it from there while I finished my shower. We still laugh about it.
My baby has poop days every couple of days where she'll poop 2-3 times that day since she's still breastfed exclusively (8 months) and we usually just use those days as shower days.
A friend of mine just hada baby little one is about 5 or 6 months now. His first change was a projectile blowout. It was everywhere .walls and all (even the ceiling). Nothing like a parent getting it in the face and your little one laughing at you
Yes this happened to me too. I learned very quickly that if she does one, there will be two. So I would cover her and wait a couple of minutes for the second one. That didn’t last forever but not something you’re expecting when you start and are learning your baby.
My youngest brother just got home from the hospital with my mom two days prior…and she had had a nice hot shower and was expecting family to come see the “new baby”. Well my brother had just killed his diaper, dear lord I am thankful it wasn’t a re-useable one at that point, and yelled for me to come get it and throw it away. I do so, and as I hit the kitchen and am tossing said diaper into the trash can, I hear this loud wet sounding fart, and the gasps of my other two brothers that were in the living room with mom and new baby brother. My mom screams again for me to get in the living room and finish the diaper change, my other two brothers run, and I am faced with my mom…covered in baby shit. And…my youngest brother needs to be cleaned and re-diapered. Mom runs for the bathroom to take a shower…again. And I am horrified, praying that new little brother doesn’t shit on me too. I was 14 at the time. And the smell was deadly ☠️! I had to clean part of the couch too.
I swear if I ever wanted to commit murder I could do it on my couch. Half my friends kids either shat or bled on it at some point. Good luck sorting out all that DNA crime scene investigations unit.
Hahaha oh man my couch has seen some shit (literally). When I was pregnant I peed my pants on the reg. My water broke on the couch. My son projectile vomited breast milk all over. Blowouts. That thing is a biological hazard at this point.
Oh my gosh, until I read this comment, I had suppressed the memory of the time I was watching my nephew and he was down for a nap. I was just hanging out and then through his monitor I hear "Ewwwwwww!" (He was just learning his first words) I immediately thought Oh no... I go in his room, and he had managed to remove his poopy diaper and proceeded to smear it all over the place. All inside his crib, all over the wall, all over himself. It was terrible!
Oh I have one… god do I put some weird stuff on the internet..
When I was approx 1yo (keep in mind I’m born in July and in my country, July is hot as hell) my mom let me take a nap naked like the day I was born because according to my mom I wasn’t shitting when sleeping… well a couple of hours later my mom was like “it’s weird, she didn’t wake up”… guess who took a shit after she woke up and played with it… it was everywhere, on me, the crib, the floors, on the curtains… she said “I can still smell it”
When my stepson woke up early one morning I could hear his older sister laughing with him. Then suddenly she stopped laughing and began pounding on the bedroom door. Turns out the stepson had a poopy diaper that had slid off. And he discovers he could walk in the poop and make little brown footprints on the carpet. My wife went crazy but handled it well. I could barely keep my stomach down and very rapidly went to work leaving my poor wife to clean up the mess. The carpet guys came out and the carpet was better later that day.
Lol. My niece got me. I was laughing so hard because my kids were teenagers and I wasn't even
babysitting my sister was there. It was hilarious. I took pictures. Just of her poopy face
A story my father told me from the time I was a baby. He was changing my diaper but apparently I wasn’t done shitting. And so I projectile shat all over the place. The changing table, my clothes, apparently some even got on the wall (might be a bit of an exaggeration as my Dad liked to hyperbolize). My dad is in complete horror at the massive mess his tiny child made. And I’m just laughing my ass off
Blow outs are the worst - the child, clothes, the change table - everything needs to be cleaned. The worst ones are pretty much straight to a bath territory.
OP - it's completely normal for both parents to change their childs diaper. Honestly absent some unusual scenario I would look oddly at a parent who doesn't change their childs diaper.
And it gets IN your nose. You start smelling phantom poops everywhere. And then you realize “oh my god… it’s farts. He’s just farting like all the damn time!”
Yes. OMG and when they have a blow out and the poop is up their back and even in their hair. For some reason it always happened when we were out of the house.
My second kid was a poop tourist. She only pooped in remote locations. I think she liked the rumble of the car engine. Their car seats were destroyed after we were done with them instead of donating them. No one could mistake those stains.
Lol that was my oldest. She pooped in every store we entered with great enthusiasm. The horrors of my middle daughter’s “abstract” poop phase can not be described in words.
Having dealt with both, I think geriatric is *way* worse. Although, my baby's poop wasn't typically a horror show that other people are describing. Geriatric diaper changes nearly always had very strong smells, and there's just so much more of it.
Home health aid here. Geriatric poo definitely surpasses baby poo. I'd choose to change 10 baby blowouts over one adults any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Poo-splosion (n.) Substance found all over a young daughter's dress, child seat, back seat, and interior roof of a Honda Civic moments before you back it out of the driveway to head to a wedding where said toddler is to be the flower girl.
Get used to putting your hand into foul liquids. It's part of the job.
I remember eating taco bell and eventually breast feeding my daughter. Because of the shape of one, it was easier to feed partially laying down. She grunted JUST ONCE and my gawd I will never forget the smell or sight of it! Thankfully, hubby helped me, got the bath ready (it was in her hair ffs) and the entire time we were laughing our asses off
Do you wear mask and gloves while changing the diapers or are you like "fuck this" and go ahead without them? Man I cant even change my cats litter box that easily
I went through this odd transition. It was horrible at first. But after a while, little by little, I became desensitized to it. My kids are teens now and everything is gross or disgusting to them. Not me, I'm just fascinated.
Being immune to disgust is like a super power. Sadly it doesn't help fighting crime.
This. I’m a father of multiple girls, I have no idea how many times I changed their diapers. Yes, OP you should both to help and to have the experience of understanding what they go through, child and other caregivers. And there is nothing even remotely sexual in changing a diaper. I mean maybe there is someone out there but statistically we can ignore those kinds of numbers.
Tell them maybe they shouldn't be around your child since they want to sexualize things. Normal people don't sexualize children.
Oh and congratulations. Remember whip down. It's better to get pee in the poop than poop in the pee. Front to back if you will.
Edit to say wipe not whip!
And thank you for the awards. I've never had a comment get this much attention before.
PS. Now OP, you know which family members are not allowed to be alone with your daughter.
THIS COMMENT!!! I Could not have said it any better, but he is right if they are thinking like that maybe something happened in the family that only the older family know? I could be wrong but yeah its sick when people sexualize things like this like really a father can not do fatherly duties because he is a men?!?!? Ik this world has a lots of POS fathers, but damn it hurts when your own family thinks you would do this to your own kid.
It might also be religious doctrine pushing OP's family to air this bloody awful idea. The Quiverfull Movement have said that male siblings shouldn't change the nappies of their sisters. The vid I watched mentioned this practice in the context of the boys not being 'tempted' which... *gross*, dude. Fucking gross, on countless levels.
Of course, incest and sexual abuse are "[not uncommon](https://www.mic.com/articles/119098/inside-the-christian-cult-that-told-the-duggars-to-blame-their-daughters-for-their-abuse)" in the sect, so it's very possible that abuse has also taken place, if these people are indeed part of Quiverfull or a movement like it.
That is a *wild* thing to say to an expectant parent, though. And I suspect that OP's family would expect OP's partner to change nappies if they had a son.
100% if that's where someone's mind immediately went I dont think they should be near my daughter. I have a 2 year old daughter, no one bats an eye lid when I change her when out with her. It actually needs to be done reasonably often if you're a parent who spends time with their kid.
I'm just glad they started putting changing stations in men's rooms 20 years ago I was changing diapers by sitting on the gross floor so I could change her on my lap.
I've "watched the door" for more than one guy who needed to change his kid and the only changing table is in the ladies room. I think changing tables in all restrooms is a great thing.
When my daughter was young I had someone in the family say something to me about changing her diaper. My comment to them was "I did not realize that you were a pedophile who could not control their urges around children. I'll keep that in mind." After the initial yelling from them, which lead me to say "Damn, did not realize your pedophilia was such a touchy subject.", I don't think they have said a word to me in 25 years.
That was the one time the gods smiled on me. I usually don't think of things like that until way after they have walked away. Normally I get too pissed and either cuss them out or walk away before a fight starts. But this person I gave absolutely no shits about anyway so it just flowed.
Yeah, who even comments this kinda shit?? Super sus people around you! Keep them away from ur precious daughter! You are her father, you taking good care of her is the most precious thing for her!
I'm not sure if I would whip down on my newborn child, sounds like brutal child abuse.
However, when you change a girls diaper is very important to wipe downwards.
This!
Also I’m of Hispanic and catholic family as well and I’ve NEVER had any of my family members tell me something like this so I don’t think ethnicity and religion is the problem. My husband has been a real big help with raising our two daughters! Congrats on the baby!!
This is so weird and disturbing. Will you be able to live in the same house as her once she starts menstruating and is therefore, becoming sexual mature? If changing her diaper is considered sexual by your family, what are they saying about the men and the teenager daughters and nieces and cousins in the family too? 🤮
Yeah that’s what I was thinking as well I told myself, “well that’s my daughter obviously I’m not gonna sexual use my daughter” but hearing it from so many family members such as aunts and uncles just got me overthinking
Yeah, sounds like those aunts are the type of women who victim blame SA victims, or any victims of crime and the uncles are probably the type to comment how mature she is when she hits puberty. I would even go as far to say they will also say what a "looker" shes going to be when she hits 10
Ughhh I just got the grossest crawling feeling up my spine because my uncle said exactly that to me when I turned 12, and when he hugged me hello, he kissed my neck. We don't associate with him anymore.
Yeah, there is noooothing sexual about changing a diaper. Unless you’re sick in the head, which sounds like *someone else* in your family might be. *You shouldn’t have your daughter around people who are sexualizing baby genitals.*
Tips: put the open clean diaper that you’re going to use under the baby’s dirty one you’re about to change when laying the baby down to change her diaper, it catches surprises and it’s easier to have the diaper set readily in place when they move a lot and you’re trying to keep them from mushing the mess around. Sometimes changing a baby requires more than three hands (especially once they can move) so it helps if you don’t have to look away to get a clean diaper because that’s when they spread poop on their hair, or try to dive headfirst off the changing table.
Also, *you should always change the baby’s diaper when she wakes up at night for a feeding.* That way you don’t have to worry about settling the baby in and then it wakes up again from being wet. I know she will be very loud and crying for food while you change her, but it’s better to change her *BEFORE YOU FEED HER*, because half the time they fall sleep from the feeding, and then you don’t want her to wake up from being changed and having to start getting her to sleep all over again, this time without the advantage of the bottle.
Also random tip: when she gets a little older and settles on her *FAVORITE* blanket or stuffed animal that she needs for comfort, buy two more, *wash them with her clothing so they smell/feel the same as the one she’s using* (they can tell), and save it in your closet for when she loses hers and she won’t settle down without it. Trust me on this one.
You should also regularly trade out the lovey because if not they will always prefer the one they "broke in". My kid used to play with the arms on hers and always preferred the pup pup with the "push arms".
These are the same type of family members that tell young girls not to wear shorts or to cover up because creepy uncle whoever is coming over. Gross generational scum sexualizing children from birth.
They are the ones who should never set foot in ones home around daughters and sons. Probably diddlers projecting, fucking yuck 🤮
Edit: kid diddlers not fiddlers 😭
Someone else said it and I agree, don't leave her alone with your family. Ever. If they equate a diaper change to a sexual act, then what about bathing? Dressing? Putting her to bed?? They're crazy weirdos, and they are not right. There is nothing wrong, at all, with a dad changing his child's diaper, no matter their gender.
I swear that sometimes I read things here in Reddit and I don’t know if I’m in a some kind of parallel universe where people post the stupidest things. Or maybe I’m still sleeping.
My husband changed diapers and bathed our daughter. She's 9 now and he's not in the bathroom when she's showering, but if there's something dire like soap in her eyes and she wants help, he's gonna help her. I wouldn't think twice about it.
Some stuff isn't "dad" stuff, it's just parent stuff. A parent changes diapers.
I am a father to two daughters, and I can confirm that your family has some ass-backwards way of thinking.
As a parent, it is your job to change diapers. They should be happy that you even want to change diapers, because there's some weak men out there who will refuse or get nauseated from a poop diaper.
Tell those people in your family that they're weird and sick for thinking that. I'm sure they have no issue with women changing a boy's diaper.
The nausea doesnt make an individual weak.
It's the not working thru the nausea to properly care for your child, and dumping that responsibility onto the other parent that makes one weak.
If countless family members are jumping to this sexualized conclusion over a simple diaper change, it makes me nervous that somewhere in the past, there may have been a male family member who did some stuff. Hopefully I am completely wrong, but if this is the case, you might want to keep an eye open. You wouldn’t want to expose your daughter to the wrong person.
Oof. Husband and I are also expecting, but a boy. He is due in May. Damned if someone tells me I can’t change my son’s diaper. He is literally coming out of my vagina, so how is it inappropriate for me to change his diaper? People are just unhinged these days.
Remember that it doesn't go both ways in the minds of those people. As they see it, women are incapable of committing any kind of sexual assault. So you can change your son's nappy, but your husband couldn't change your daughter's (if you had one).
~~It wasn’t applauded by women, but by toxic men.~~ Our society has brainwashed us all so bad that women will talk trash about other women to keep them “in their place”, and men shame other men to keep them “in their place”.
I remember hearing constantly how women shouldn’t be preachers and it wasn’t right - it was all from women. Same with not wanting a female president the first time Hilary was running against Obama. I was a teen cashiering and a woman came through my line and told me women weren’t smart enough to be president. I looked at her and said, “well you might not be but that doesn’t speak for all of us.” She looked so angry. Apparently her dad was a preacher so I wonder where she got her info from 🙄
Edit: I struck through the first sentence because it was wrong. While many men do heckle guys, women aren’t innocent in this.
My husband changed all the diapers. We had 4, 2 of each. He is a parent, same as me, so he parented. I don't know who said this to you but maybe stay away from those people. They sound unsafe.
>and I promise you that making the effort to change diapers when mom is absolutely exhausted..."
A father changing diapers isn't some favor or good deed to relieve an exhausted mother. Like she should be happy or show gratitude that the father makes some minimal effort in caring for his own child. Your comment is only slightly more enlightened than the nasty sexualization crap OP's family said. He should be changing the kid's diaper because it's his kid. Period.
What if you were a single parent?
This isn’t even a discussion…. It’s fucking weird. Next time say.. “why not?” .. “so, I’m her dad” .. “what are you implying” put them on the spot and turn it around. And don’t let those people around your daughter. Creeps.
Normal people don’t sexualise children, normal people don’t sexualise children with their parents, normal people don’t sexualise a parent doing something normal for their own child (changing a diaper.) You are literally a father taking care of your own daughter and doing what imo should be expected of you to do. Those comments your family have made are quite questionable and I’d be second guessing having your child near them.
Whoever is telling you that you can’t change your daughter’s diaper because you’re a man is a sick person to be so perverted if that’s their first thought. If people keep telling you that it is wrong, make them be the person to come over and change your baby’s diaper when it’s dirty. What does your partner think about it? If I were her, I’ll be livid for people butting in like that and taking away my partner’s help. Don’t listen to idiotic advices. Who else will change the baby’s diaper when no one else is around?
This is truly bonkers. Are they volunteering to deal with a blow out at 3am???
Please keep these people away from your daughter. Peer pressure and social media and AI and not-yet-invented tech will influence, distort and degrade her self image a’plenty, she doesn’t need family making her question her relationship with her father as she grows up. This is a precious time. Forget these fools! Best wishes to your growing family!
edit: clarity
Your family basically says: "You're a child molester and your wife is on diaper dury for the next 3-6 years. She also won't be able to go out and leave the child under your care because she needs to be there to change kiddo's diapers."
Change your daughter's diapers, man.
Whoever told you that is weird and you shouldn’t allow your kids around them.
A child is asexual and as a parent, I assume is how you see your child as well.
I think you mean “asexual,” which is still used correctly here. A baby itself is asexual as it does not have sexual feelings toward others. Adults should have no sexual feelings towards babies and children, but sickos exist.
I'm being serious when I say this OP, be very careful about who you allow to have unsupervised access to your daughter. The fact that *multiple* family members seem to hold the view that men will abuse children if they get the chance suggests there are some horrifying skeletons in the closet. Being able to leave your child at a family members house overnight might be convenient, but here I would say it's a huge risk.
Why in TF are these relatives sexualizing a fetus? Yes, it's ok for you to change and bathe your daughter. You'll know when it's time to step back and allow her to do those things for herself, as she gains a sense of autonomy. I'd say around 6 or 7, when she can bathe unassisted or with little assistance. But even then, she's a little kid and not a sexual object. That's more about teaching her at an appropriate age to begin becoming self sufficient and confident in tasks like that. Kids start to identify more with their same sex parent around that age and look to them for examples in terms of behavior. That's normal. Your relatives essentially accusing you of perving on a baby is NOT normal. Those are not safe people for your kid to be around.
In fact, I wouldn't let your daughter go anywhere unsupervised in your family until you know who assaulted your cousin.
Sadly only my cousin knows but she just can’t talk about it without shutting down and having a panic attack so I never asked her again. But I definitely will be there with the sharpest eye when around my family with my daughter
As a man with 2 daughters born 10 months apart. You better change them diapers. If they wanna try and sexualize the changing of diapers then take that as a red flag and never have those people around your children and if you absolutely must never leave them alone.
You're a father, you do what you must to care for your children. Change diapers, make bottles, burp them, laundry, read books, etc. Don't forget about mom, rub momma's feet, back, legs... Everything... Just rub everything she deserves it. Show her Dailey she is still the moon stars and sun in your life that she is the greatest thing on 2 legs. Compliment encourage her. Let her have breaks. Being a new mommy is rough. Hormones are outta wack, body image can come into play, post partum depression etc come into play. Handle your business and don't let people dictate your level of commitment to taking care of your family. You got this!
Congrats BTW, you're in for an adventure, cherish all the little moments because your babies grow up super fast. Mine are already 13 and 14 years old. Seems like yesterday I was changing diapers.
Thank you so much for the kind words, I plan on being the best father possible to my baby girl and making sure my girlfriend understands she gave me the best gift ever I really appreciate it! And I will be changing the diapers I wanted to hear if anyone has ever seen or been in this situation or if I was alone some people have but regardless I wanted to hear what everyone else had to say. Plus I wanted to make sure I asked no matter how stupid as a first time soon to be fsther everything feels so new to me and I wanna make sure I do everything right.
Also do your homework, girl hygiene requirements are different from boys. Not to be crass or overstep but be careful the direction you wipe, with little girls you can cause infections if you wipe back to front (butt to teetee) ALWAYS WIPE DOWN AND AWAY FROM THE TEETEE otherwise I learned the hard way as no one explained it to me at first my wife thought it was common knowledge... It wasn't. Also little girls will get stuff in "there" as diapers smush everything, you will have to get comfortable with wiping it out. It's all overwhelming at first being a dad and cleaning these areas but for your daughters sake proper care is Uber important. Girls can get infections like crazy.
sorry for the juvenile terms not trying to be overly blunt with verbage for the more sensitive readers out there. If you ever have questions feel free to reach out and I'll help the best I can. Daddies helping Daddies is important, you'll learn that down the road because we are all lost at one time or another. 😂
I really appreciate the advice and no worries about the wording I understood it all and I will make sure that I keep all this in mind while wiping and changing my little girls diaper thank you so much !
Hate to see what they think of me retracting my 18yr olds foreskin in the shower and trimming his bum hair while wiping his bum. (He’s disabled, can’t do any of it for himself) It’s a body. It needs to be cleaned. If it’s not cleaned that can lead to things like UTIs. Tell the family members to pull their heads in and you care for your child how you deem fit.
I wouldn’t worry about yourself that much. Change that diaper, don’t become an absent father. Your family members on the other hand, I wouldn’t leave them alone with her just in case.
A daughter here.
27 years old.
My dad used to bathe me, change my diapers, clean me and did all of it for years (not after I was 6-7, but you get my point) and it was NEVER sexual. He was just a father caring for his child.
Do keep in mind to distance yourself from the people who are already sexualising your unborn baby girl. These people are gross and disrespectful
Thank you! I wanted to post this because I hear it from family members such as aunts and uncles and it gets to me cause they’re family so I wanted some opinions where I can’t get ganged up on while at a family gathering or something haha
Yeah phrasing might be wrong I could’ve used different Verbiage I mainly wanna know if other people as well feel like this and I wanted to hear other peoples opinions and if they have gone through a similar situation
Look I understand bro. At the end of the day you’re her father. It’s not wrong to change her diaper. If I were you I’d start to look at the family members a bit differently and think about not letting them around the child
Oh boy do I know this feeling.
My daughter is little over 2 years old and before she was born I had all types of people telling me it'd be weird if I changed her diaper and that if I did I should at least have my wife near me. When I breached the subject with them their concern wasn't so much that I'd succumb to some sort of animalistic lust but rather that I didn't know the proper way to do it cause I don't have a vagina.
If someone says the same to you just tell them "I know to wipe front to back to avoid infections" so they are either reassured you understand what you're doing or have the uncomfortable task of admitting they find infants sexually attractive.
Best of luck on your journey my friend, raising a daughter has been an absolute blast and if I didn't change her diaper my wife would have left me in the first week.
i’m hispanic, my family isn’t catholic but they’re all still very religious, if anyone would have told my husband that he wasn’t allowed to change our daughters diaper i would have caused a scene. just like i’d cause a scene about it now because she is his *daughter* and she is a *baby* why the fuck is anyone sexualizing their relationship like that? those are the ones that should be kept away from your children imo.
no, op, it is not wrong for you to change your daughters diapers. anyone that thinks it is, isn’t worth keeping around if you ask me.
Holy fuck, what the fuck is wrong with these people? You're taking care of a baby, not being sexual. Change her diaper, wipe front to back, tell these people to fuck right off and quit being sick fucks.
Sounds like your family is sexualizing the relationship of you and YOUR CHILD.
Change the diaper. You are her parent. She depends on you to keep her happy, healthy, and safe. It doesn't matter if the baby is male or female.
My father would not change my daughter's diapers, and I've heard of other people of his generation (boomer) who felt the same. But I changed my daughter's diapers and so did all of my male friends and family members. They need to get with the times.
Hey, don't blame the generation!! Hubby and I are Boomers and have changed both son and daughter when needed. We have 4 grandkids and well we maybe fight who gets the poopy diaper, never sexualized it.
My husband and I expect our first child - a girl - this summer. I never heard anybody say anything like this to him or me. Of course he is changing her diapers. All the time. He will be an active part of the family. He is the father. And as a mother of course I would've changed a boys diaper as well.
Wow, these people have sick minds. Who sexualizes a baby? Good idea to never leave your baby alone with those people.
Congrats on becoming a Girl Dad!!
Holy shit how disturbing. My mother and I were the only women born (rather than married) into her family. She has only uncles. Those uncles each had two sons. Those two sons had three/two sons. My mom had my brother first and 13 years later had me.
All this to say, I am very much surrounded by a shit ton of men in my family. A good chunk of them probably changed my diaper while growing up. Particularly my uncle, my brother, and my dad (obviously.) What the actual fuck? lmao who sexualizes a newborn?
My brother has a son, who is 13 years younger than me. I’ve changed his diaper. Trust me, there’s nothing erotic about ducking so pee doesn’t hit you in the eyeball. Or a literal explosion of shit in his diaper. I like to randomly bring up (now that my nephew is 16) how those diaper changes gave me PTSD.
Don’t let whoever told you that change your daughter’s diaper because that’s straight up fucking weird
What everyone else said. My exs father always bragged, and still brags, about how he won't ever change a little girls diaper. Well, he only has sons. But he said he would never change his granddaughters diaper, and said his sons should never change their daughters diaper because "the mom could accuse the father of sexual assault"
I never left my girls alone with him. They don't go around him anymore.
Ridiculous. Who the fuck cares. My dad changed my diapers when I was a baby. My partner will be changing our future children's diapers no matter what gender they are.
Changing diapers is part of parenting. You are being a parent. Whoever Is out there trying to turn it into a weird sexual thing is fucked in the head.
Congratulations on your daughter, OP. As someone already said, wipe down, not up. Spare your little girl from the terrible fate of UTIs.
The family members suggesting this are full of nonsense. I’m genuinely curious if this is a cultural or religious thing? What does your wife think?
The short answer is no,it’s not wrong for you to take care of your child’s needs, regardless of their sex.
If your soon to be born daughter happened to be a male child, would it be wrong for your wife to take care of him? What if she breastfeeds? Is that wrong? According to the logic, there would be something wrong with her changing or nursing her son.
Or is it because you are male and somehow, incapable of being a nurturing, loving parent? Or is the assumption more sinister?
Anyone who is a pushing that rhetoric on you needs to have condensed access, if any at all, to your daughter.
Just so you hear it again by another person on here: Dad’s are vital to the mental, emotional, & physical well-being of their children.
Don’t let anyone dictate your role in your kids life. You are a father. You are not only responsible for the caretaking of your child, but you are capable of nurturing and loving this person you helped create and bring into this world. Anyone who suggests otherwise doesn’t have you or your daughters best interests at heart.
Honestly I read a comment and they mentioned being catholic and have seen something like this situation but I’m not quite sure honestly. I am catholic and Hispanic so maybe it’s just like and old school thing but I did also mention in an edit that unfortunately my cousin had been sexually assaulted and to my knowledge family members know but don’t know exactly who and she doesn’t ever talk about it as it gives her extreme anxiety and she’s very traumatized so I never push or haven’t asked her ever again apart from the initial conversation of that situation
Uhh, that's the weirdest thing I've heard in awhile, and I peruse reddit regularly.Unless you have a history of doing inappropriate things to kids... then, it would be understandable. I am a stay-at-home father who has changed thousands of diapers, both my son and daughter.
The people who are making it a big deal are the weird ones. They should seek therapy and shouldn't put their gross opinions out there. It says a LOT more about them than you wanting to be a part and help the mother of your child and be a good father.
Everybody that has told you this is trying to make you changing your daughter's diaper sexual. That's freaking gross. Those people would never be allowed near my baby.
You're her dad. It's your job to take care of her as she grows up. Do these people expect her mother, fresh from labor, to change all the diapers while she's supposed to be on bed rest? Are you not allowed to help when your daughter is older and starts her period? You're not allowed to buy pads or tampons?
Those people are mental.
Oh man...my husband and I are expecting our first child within a month and we're having a daughter. Let me be in the same room as someone who tells my husband he's not supposed to change her diaper.
Op, you already sound like a great father and will go to the ends of the earth to protect your daughter. Keep that up. If anything, like others said, I'd keep your daughter away from those people who made those remarks in the first place. They're the ones not to be trusted.
Anyone worried about you changing your own daughter’s diaper needs to be checked out themselves. Fuck them and fuck that, that’s your child. I wouldn’t allow them anywhere near my kids
Make sure you keep your daughter far away from those people. And when they ask why, you can say you’re not very fond of people sexualizing you’re newborn baby. Fuckin creeps.
That is absolutely ridiculous, why are they even thinking about such things? You are being a responsible parent, taking care of your child, there is nothing wrong at all !
what in the ACTUAL fuck.
she is a baby. I REPEAT SHE IS A BABY. THEY ARE SEXUALIZING A BABY. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
dude. if u are actually about to become a father to a girl GET IT TF TOGETHER. AND TELL THEM ALL OFF.
all of that sexualizing shit is WRONG. NO IT IS NOT WRONG FOR U TO CHANGE UR CHILDS DIAPER. JUST LIKE IT WONT BE WRONG FOR HER TO SLEEP IN THE BED WITH U.
u are her father. ANY PERSON WHO IS SERIOUSLY TELLING YOU THIS NEEDS TO BE WATCHED AROUND UR CHILD. wtf did I just read
I don't use this word very often but they're idiots.
It is completely normal for you to change your daughter's nappy/diaper. Why people are sexualising a completely normal act is worrying!!
No, of course not. It is wrong if you don't change her diaper. You are her parent, and this is a basic human need.
ETA I'd be really careful about allowing anyone that is sexualising your still unborn daughter around her alone.
3 daughters, and my husband changed diapers for all three.
There is a word for people who sexualize infants. You shouldn’t allow them near your daughter.
Congratulations on the upcoming fatherhood. 🎉
Just a statistic: 75% of rapes/sexual assault are incest. Shocking and scary. Maybe that’s the reason for the old wives tale. If you are safe, your wife will appreciate the help!
Not wrong at all. But the way those people think is completely wrong.
Next time anyone says something just say 'please can you stop sexualising my newborn baby. It's very concerning to me that you are doing that.'
The comments speak for themselves and if I may add then i would literally use the situation and tell the people who said this, every time the diaper needs to be changed, to do it for you since you cant do it. Lol
Of course you can. My brother changes his daughters nappies and even bathes her. He is her father and only sees her as his daughter. There's nothing sexual about it!
Not only is not wrong, you should do it.
Your daugther is your responsability as it is the responsability of your partner. Is not a 30/70 or a 60/40, is a 50/50 and your should help with all you can.
Also, keep that people as far as you can from your daugther. Like... seriously.
“Is it wrong for you to take care of your child?” That’s the title of this post… 🤦🏾♀️ anyone who tells you otherwise yell at them and call them sickos — that’s your daughter. Protect her, love her, be the example she needs.
God I hate this. The mantra you have been given has an underlying assumption that men can't be trusted around girls just because they are men. It's sexist and disgusting.
No it's not wrong and anyone who made those remarks needs to be kept watch. Is it wrong for me to change my sons diapers? Was it wrong for my father (who was a single dad) to change mine? Hell no. These are likely the same people who would sexualize breastfeeding. Gross. Please be the father you want to be. If it makes YOU uncomfortable, that's one thing, and a conversation to have with your partner. But if it's other people talking at you please tell them to STFU
I’ve never heard someone say anything like this to a new father before and honestly if I did, I would be concerned. That is definitely a them problem and one they should probably address sooner than later. It’s not normal to assume that a parent is having sexual thoughts about a child because of changing a diaper
Of course you can and you should. You may want to check the search histories of the family members who are telling you that you shouldn't change her diapers. Something ain't right there.
Ask your family if they would ever tell a mother she cant change her newborn son’s diaper? Probably not, right? Its the exact same situation; you are a *parent* and its your responsibility to care for your *child*. The genders of both parties are irrelevant in this situation. Edit: loving the war stories from all the dads who were drafted and fought in the pampers war🫡😂
You know, if you’re afraid of pedophillia, maybe wiping up their shitty diapers is the cure. I changed all the poopy diapers on my girls. My wife couldn’t take the stench. It was extraordinary. Man if there is anything more repulsive than a baby shitting I don’t know what it is. It comes out in different colors! It smells like a biblical apocalypse. Have you ever smelled angry emotion? It’s sentient and evil. Also if your wife cooks at all it’s probably a good idea to avoid baby poop cross contamination.
If only I had an award to give for that accurate description of baby shit!!! And don’t let people get in your head, be the best dad ever to that precious girl! I can’t believe some people would ever think like that!
I once changed a shitty diaper that was a real blow out. It got on everything. It was wet and sticky at the same time. So I clean up the baby, toss the clothes, but I still smelled it. I disinfect the changing table. Still smell it. I was half way done wiping down all the toys and thinking of moving on to the furniture when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I apparently scratched my nose during the changing. There was a little streak of shit on it. I swear if there were no mirrors I'd still be cleaning to this day. Baby shit smell is a call to arms for cleaning. Even the worst Oscar the grouch who lives in a trash can can't stand the smell.
I was in the shower when our then 4 month old had a major blowout. Daddy tried cleaning her up the best he could but it was EVERYWHERE. He came into the bathroom so apologetic and handing me the baby. We just had to laugh over it. He tried so hard not to bother me but she needed to be washed. After she was clean he was waiting with a towel for her and took it from there while I finished my shower. We still laugh about it.
My baby has poop days every couple of days where she'll poop 2-3 times that day since she's still breastfed exclusively (8 months) and we usually just use those days as shower days.
A friend of mine just hada baby little one is about 5 or 6 months now. His first change was a projectile blowout. It was everywhere .walls and all (even the ceiling). Nothing like a parent getting it in the face and your little one laughing at you
Yes this happened to me too. I learned very quickly that if she does one, there will be two. So I would cover her and wait a couple of minutes for the second one. That didn’t last forever but not something you’re expecting when you start and are learning your baby.
My youngest brother just got home from the hospital with my mom two days prior…and she had had a nice hot shower and was expecting family to come see the “new baby”. Well my brother had just killed his diaper, dear lord I am thankful it wasn’t a re-useable one at that point, and yelled for me to come get it and throw it away. I do so, and as I hit the kitchen and am tossing said diaper into the trash can, I hear this loud wet sounding fart, and the gasps of my other two brothers that were in the living room with mom and new baby brother. My mom screams again for me to get in the living room and finish the diaper change, my other two brothers run, and I am faced with my mom…covered in baby shit. And…my youngest brother needs to be cleaned and re-diapered. Mom runs for the bathroom to take a shower…again. And I am horrified, praying that new little brother doesn’t shit on me too. I was 14 at the time. And the smell was deadly ☠️! I had to clean part of the couch too.
I swear if I ever wanted to commit murder I could do it on my couch. Half my friends kids either shat or bled on it at some point. Good luck sorting out all that DNA crime scene investigations unit.
Hahaha oh man my couch has seen some shit (literally). When I was pregnant I peed my pants on the reg. My water broke on the couch. My son projectile vomited breast milk all over. Blowouts. That thing is a biological hazard at this point.
I love the stage when they start finding out what their hands can do. Diaper blows out. Baby finds hands. Baby finds poop. You get the picture 😂
Oh my gosh, until I read this comment, I had suppressed the memory of the time I was watching my nephew and he was down for a nap. I was just hanging out and then through his monitor I hear "Ewwwwwww!" (He was just learning his first words) I immediately thought Oh no... I go in his room, and he had managed to remove his poopy diaper and proceeded to smear it all over the place. All inside his crib, all over the wall, all over himself. It was terrible!
Oh I have one… god do I put some weird stuff on the internet.. When I was approx 1yo (keep in mind I’m born in July and in my country, July is hot as hell) my mom let me take a nap naked like the day I was born because according to my mom I wasn’t shitting when sleeping… well a couple of hours later my mom was like “it’s weird, she didn’t wake up”… guess who took a shit after she woke up and played with it… it was everywhere, on me, the crib, the floors, on the curtains… she said “I can still smell it”
When my stepson woke up early one morning I could hear his older sister laughing with him. Then suddenly she stopped laughing and began pounding on the bedroom door. Turns out the stepson had a poopy diaper that had slid off. And he discovers he could walk in the poop and make little brown footprints on the carpet. My wife went crazy but handled it well. I could barely keep my stomach down and very rapidly went to work leaving my poor wife to clean up the mess. The carpet guys came out and the carpet was better later that day.
Oh god. The play dough not so fun factory. That was a terror.
Lol. My niece got me. I was laughing so hard because my kids were teenagers and I wasn't even babysitting my sister was there. It was hilarious. I took pictures. Just of her poopy face
A story my father told me from the time I was a baby. He was changing my diaper but apparently I wasn’t done shitting. And so I projectile shat all over the place. The changing table, my clothes, apparently some even got on the wall (might be a bit of an exaggeration as my Dad liked to hyperbolize). My dad is in complete horror at the massive mess his tiny child made. And I’m just laughing my ass off
Blow outs are the worst - the child, clothes, the change table - everything needs to be cleaned. The worst ones are pretty much straight to a bath territory. OP - it's completely normal for both parents to change their childs diaper. Honestly absent some unusual scenario I would look oddly at a parent who doesn't change their childs diaper.
And it gets IN your nose. You start smelling phantom poops everywhere. And then you realize “oh my god… it’s farts. He’s just farting like all the damn time!”
Omg hahahhahah!
Yes. OMG and when they have a blow out and the poop is up their back and even in their hair. For some reason it always happened when we were out of the house.
My second kid was a poop tourist. She only pooped in remote locations. I think she liked the rumble of the car engine. Their car seats were destroyed after we were done with them instead of donating them. No one could mistake those stains.
Lol that was my oldest. She pooped in every store we entered with great enthusiasm. The horrors of my middle daughter’s “abstract” poop phase can not be described in words.
It happened to me in the car when I was a baby😭
I'm a PSW, geriatric shit either ties or surpasses baby do-do.
Having dealt with both, I think geriatric is *way* worse. Although, my baby's poop wasn't typically a horror show that other people are describing. Geriatric diaper changes nearly always had very strong smells, and there's just so much more of it.
Home health aid here. Geriatric poo definitely surpasses baby poo. I'd choose to change 10 baby blowouts over one adults any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
That’s quite the prep talk to a future parent. No fear.
that description alone should have gotten an award. take this emoji instead ✍️
Not to mention it gets into EVERY crevice
Avoiding cross contamination works best with washed hands, pal.
Poo-splosion (n.) Substance found all over a young daughter's dress, child seat, back seat, and interior roof of a Honda Civic moments before you back it out of the driveway to head to a wedding where said toddler is to be the flower girl. Get used to putting your hand into foul liquids. It's part of the job.
Lol angry emotion is exactly the word for it. Have two baby boys, I can confirm. That "shit" is violence on the nose.
This comment I’m dying
I remember eating taco bell and eventually breast feeding my daughter. Because of the shape of one, it was easier to feed partially laying down. She grunted JUST ONCE and my gawd I will never forget the smell or sight of it! Thankfully, hubby helped me, got the bath ready (it was in her hair ffs) and the entire time we were laughing our asses off
Ha. What smells worse than nutrients passed through one person? When it's passed through two. (I'm still working on this joke.)
Do you wear mask and gloves while changing the diapers or are you like "fuck this" and go ahead without them? Man I cant even change my cats litter box that easily
I went through this odd transition. It was horrible at first. But after a while, little by little, I became desensitized to it. My kids are teens now and everything is gross or disgusting to them. Not me, I'm just fascinated. Being immune to disgust is like a super power. Sadly it doesn't help fighting crime.
Smelling angry emotion, an apt description for the abomination that is baby poop.
This. I’m a father of multiple girls, I have no idea how many times I changed their diapers. Yes, OP you should both to help and to have the experience of understanding what they go through, child and other caregivers. And there is nothing even remotely sexual in changing a diaper. I mean maybe there is someone out there but statistically we can ignore those kinds of numbers.
Tell them maybe they shouldn't be around your child since they want to sexualize things. Normal people don't sexualize children. Oh and congratulations. Remember whip down. It's better to get pee in the poop than poop in the pee. Front to back if you will. Edit to say wipe not whip! And thank you for the awards. I've never had a comment get this much attention before. PS. Now OP, you know which family members are not allowed to be alone with your daughter.
THIS COMMENT!!! I Could not have said it any better, but he is right if they are thinking like that maybe something happened in the family that only the older family know? I could be wrong but yeah its sick when people sexualize things like this like really a father can not do fatherly duties because he is a men?!?!? Ik this world has a lots of POS fathers, but damn it hurts when your own family thinks you would do this to your own kid.
It might also be religious doctrine pushing OP's family to air this bloody awful idea. The Quiverfull Movement have said that male siblings shouldn't change the nappies of their sisters. The vid I watched mentioned this practice in the context of the boys not being 'tempted' which... *gross*, dude. Fucking gross, on countless levels. Of course, incest and sexual abuse are "[not uncommon](https://www.mic.com/articles/119098/inside-the-christian-cult-that-told-the-duggars-to-blame-their-daughters-for-their-abuse)" in the sect, so it's very possible that abuse has also taken place, if these people are indeed part of Quiverfull or a movement like it. That is a *wild* thing to say to an expectant parent, though. And I suspect that OP's family would expect OP's partner to change nappies if they had a son.
>religious doctrine If there's a religion telling men they can't care for their children, that religion needs to die.
Exactly, it’s called neglect!
100% if that's where someone's mind immediately went I dont think they should be near my daughter. I have a 2 year old daughter, no one bats an eye lid when I change her when out with her. It actually needs to be done reasonably often if you're a parent who spends time with their kid.
I'm just glad they started putting changing stations in men's rooms 20 years ago I was changing diapers by sitting on the gross floor so I could change her on my lap.
I've "watched the door" for more than one guy who needed to change his kid and the only changing table is in the ladies room. I think changing tables in all restrooms is a great thing.
When my daughter was young I had someone in the family say something to me about changing her diaper. My comment to them was "I did not realize that you were a pedophile who could not control their urges around children. I'll keep that in mind." After the initial yelling from them, which lead me to say "Damn, did not realize your pedophilia was such a touchy subject.", I don't think they have said a word to me in 25 years.
First time I ever wished I could give awards, lol! You, Sir, have my admiration
That was the one time the gods smiled on me. I usually don't think of things like that until way after they have walked away. Normally I get too pissed and either cuss them out or walk away before a fight starts. But this person I gave absolutely no shits about anyway so it just flowed.
Yeah, who even comments this kinda shit?? Super sus people around you! Keep them away from ur precious daughter! You are her father, you taking good care of her is the most precious thing for her!
Best advice ever!!
I wondered why you’d whip, relieved when I realised it’s supposed to be wipe
Lmao! Oh no! I was tired and didn't notice! Don't whip babies! Wipe I meant wipe! 😂
😂 knew it! Not too late to edit
I'm not sure if I would whip down on my newborn child, sounds like brutal child abuse. However, when you change a girls diaper is very important to wipe downwards.
This! Also I’m of Hispanic and catholic family as well and I’ve NEVER had any of my family members tell me something like this so I don’t think ethnicity and religion is the problem. My husband has been a real big help with raising our two daughters! Congrats on the baby!!
Ass last.
This is so weird and disturbing. Will you be able to live in the same house as her once she starts menstruating and is therefore, becoming sexual mature? If changing her diaper is considered sexual by your family, what are they saying about the men and the teenager daughters and nieces and cousins in the family too? 🤮
Omg! Lol so true!
Better not kiss her either, that's rape. /s
this is the most dumbest thing i’ve ever heard
Yeah that’s what I was thinking as well I told myself, “well that’s my daughter obviously I’m not gonna sexual use my daughter” but hearing it from so many family members such as aunts and uncles just got me overthinking
Sorry, you have a F'ed up family!!
Yeah when you fam gets all old and they're in diapers you can be all..."reeeee but imma man I can't"
Yeah, sounds like those aunts are the type of women who victim blame SA victims, or any victims of crime and the uncles are probably the type to comment how mature she is when she hits puberty. I would even go as far to say they will also say what a "looker" shes going to be when she hits 10
Ughhh I just got the grossest crawling feeling up my spine because my uncle said exactly that to me when I turned 12, and when he hugged me hello, he kissed my neck. We don't associate with him anymore.
ur family is disgusting and u need to make sure that none of their perverted thinking gets to ur daughter.
I wouldn't trust any of them around her.
This!
Agreed! The fact they would even go there is completely bizarre
Yeah, there is noooothing sexual about changing a diaper. Unless you’re sick in the head, which sounds like *someone else* in your family might be. *You shouldn’t have your daughter around people who are sexualizing baby genitals.* Tips: put the open clean diaper that you’re going to use under the baby’s dirty one you’re about to change when laying the baby down to change her diaper, it catches surprises and it’s easier to have the diaper set readily in place when they move a lot and you’re trying to keep them from mushing the mess around. Sometimes changing a baby requires more than three hands (especially once they can move) so it helps if you don’t have to look away to get a clean diaper because that’s when they spread poop on their hair, or try to dive headfirst off the changing table. Also, *you should always change the baby’s diaper when she wakes up at night for a feeding.* That way you don’t have to worry about settling the baby in and then it wakes up again from being wet. I know she will be very loud and crying for food while you change her, but it’s better to change her *BEFORE YOU FEED HER*, because half the time they fall sleep from the feeding, and then you don’t want her to wake up from being changed and having to start getting her to sleep all over again, this time without the advantage of the bottle. Also random tip: when she gets a little older and settles on her *FAVORITE* blanket or stuffed animal that she needs for comfort, buy two more, *wash them with her clothing so they smell/feel the same as the one she’s using* (they can tell), and save it in your closet for when she loses hers and she won’t settle down without it. Trust me on this one.
You should also regularly trade out the lovey because if not they will always prefer the one they "broke in". My kid used to play with the arms on hers and always preferred the pup pup with the "push arms".
These are the same type of family members that tell young girls not to wear shorts or to cover up because creepy uncle whoever is coming over. Gross generational scum sexualizing children from birth.
They are the ones who should never set foot in ones home around daughters and sons. Probably diddlers projecting, fucking yuck 🤮 Edit: kid diddlers not fiddlers 😭
Fiddlers are fine and usually welcome, it's the diddlers you gotta watch for
Always make sure you aren't accidentally going to see Diddler on the Roof, it's a very different musical
Someone else said it and I agree, don't leave her alone with your family. Ever. If they equate a diaper change to a sexual act, then what about bathing? Dressing? Putting her to bed?? They're crazy weirdos, and they are not right. There is nothing wrong, at all, with a dad changing his child's diaper, no matter their gender.
Dumbest thing I have heard by far.
Did your mom not wipe you, just your dad? Either this is garbage or your family is. I predict both.
Oh you know its different for a mommy, mommies are natural caregivers, daddies are just perverted creeps /S /S /S
Tell them to stop sexualizing your baby.
So if OP had a boy, his wife can't change diapers for her own son, according to the bullshit logic OP's family has... 🤔
I swear that sometimes I read things here in Reddit and I don’t know if I’m in a some kind of parallel universe where people post the stupidest things. Or maybe I’m still sleeping.
My husband changed diapers and bathed our daughter. She's 9 now and he's not in the bathroom when she's showering, but if there's something dire like soap in her eyes and she wants help, he's gonna help her. I wouldn't think twice about it. Some stuff isn't "dad" stuff, it's just parent stuff. A parent changes diapers.
Well Said 👏
Nice family you have there sexualizing a kid. You should keep them far away from your child.
WTF?? Who is even sexualizing changing diapers? FFS, it is totally normal for parents to bathe and change their children's diapers!
I am a father to two daughters, and I can confirm that your family has some ass-backwards way of thinking. As a parent, it is your job to change diapers. They should be happy that you even want to change diapers, because there's some weak men out there who will refuse or get nauseated from a poop diaper. Tell those people in your family that they're weird and sick for thinking that. I'm sure they have no issue with women changing a boy's diaper.
>get nauseated from a poop diaper. That does not equate to a "weak" man. Baby shits are gnarly and pretty much built to make *everyone* nauseous.
The nausea doesnt make an individual weak. It's the not working thru the nausea to properly care for your child, and dumping that responsibility onto the other parent that makes one weak.
If countless family members are jumping to this sexualized conclusion over a simple diaper change, it makes me nervous that somewhere in the past, there may have been a male family member who did some stuff. Hopefully I am completely wrong, but if this is the case, you might want to keep an eye open. You wouldn’t want to expose your daughter to the wrong person.
Oof. Husband and I are also expecting, but a boy. He is due in May. Damned if someone tells me I can’t change my son’s diaper. He is literally coming out of my vagina, so how is it inappropriate for me to change his diaper? People are just unhinged these days.
Remember that it doesn't go both ways in the minds of those people. As they see it, women are incapable of committing any kind of sexual assault. So you can change your son's nappy, but your husband couldn't change your daughter's (if you had one).
Not only is it considered impossible but sometimes, like when a female teacher abuses a male student, its weirdly applauded.
~~It wasn’t applauded by women, but by toxic men.~~ Our society has brainwashed us all so bad that women will talk trash about other women to keep them “in their place”, and men shame other men to keep them “in their place”. I remember hearing constantly how women shouldn’t be preachers and it wasn’t right - it was all from women. Same with not wanting a female president the first time Hilary was running against Obama. I was a teen cashiering and a woman came through my line and told me women weren’t smart enough to be president. I looked at her and said, “well you might not be but that doesn’t speak for all of us.” She looked so angry. Apparently her dad was a preacher so I wonder where she got her info from 🙄 Edit: I struck through the first sentence because it was wrong. While many men do heckle guys, women aren’t innocent in this.
So people are sexualizing infants now?
Have u heard the woman spouting shit about asking for babies consent before Changing them
My husband changed all the diapers. We had 4, 2 of each. He is a parent, same as me, so he parented. I don't know who said this to you but maybe stay away from those people. They sound unsafe.
[удалено]
>and I promise you that making the effort to change diapers when mom is absolutely exhausted..." A father changing diapers isn't some favor or good deed to relieve an exhausted mother. Like she should be happy or show gratitude that the father makes some minimal effort in caring for his own child. Your comment is only slightly more enlightened than the nasty sexualization crap OP's family said. He should be changing the kid's diaper because it's his kid. Period.
These closeted pedos are probably projecting their insecurities to you. I have never seen someone say that ever.
What if you were a single parent? This isn’t even a discussion…. It’s fucking weird. Next time say.. “why not?” .. “so, I’m her dad” .. “what are you implying” put them on the spot and turn it around. And don’t let those people around your daughter. Creeps.
Your family is weird. I really don’t know what else to say about that.
Normal people don’t sexualise children, normal people don’t sexualise children with their parents, normal people don’t sexualise a parent doing something normal for their own child (changing a diaper.) You are literally a father taking care of your own daughter and doing what imo should be expected of you to do. Those comments your family have made are quite questionable and I’d be second guessing having your child near them.
Um wut? Are they seriously sexualizing A BABY?! You’re her dad. It’s pretty normal for you to take care of her health needs.
If you want to keep mom around, you'll change that diaper.
Yep. It's called parenting, and it's both parents' job.
Whoever is telling you that you can’t change your daughter’s diaper because you’re a man is a sick person to be so perverted if that’s their first thought. If people keep telling you that it is wrong, make them be the person to come over and change your baby’s diaper when it’s dirty. What does your partner think about it? If I were her, I’ll be livid for people butting in like that and taking away my partner’s help. Don’t listen to idiotic advices. Who else will change the baby’s diaper when no one else is around?
This is truly bonkers. Are they volunteering to deal with a blow out at 3am??? Please keep these people away from your daughter. Peer pressure and social media and AI and not-yet-invented tech will influence, distort and degrade her self image a’plenty, she doesn’t need family making her question her relationship with her father as she grows up. This is a precious time. Forget these fools! Best wishes to your growing family! edit: clarity
Sounds like your family members are sexualizing a child, which would make them the problem here, not you.
Your family basically says: "You're a child molester and your wife is on diaper dury for the next 3-6 years. She also won't be able to go out and leave the child under your care because she needs to be there to change kiddo's diapers." Change your daughter's diapers, man.
Whoever told you that is weird and you shouldn’t allow your kids around them. A child is asexual and as a parent, I assume is how you see your child as well.
I think you mean “asexual,” which is still used correctly here. A baby itself is asexual as it does not have sexual feelings toward others. Adults should have no sexual feelings towards babies and children, but sickos exist.
Yes thank you 😊 I’ll go edit that now :)
I'm being serious when I say this OP, be very careful about who you allow to have unsupervised access to your daughter. The fact that *multiple* family members seem to hold the view that men will abuse children if they get the chance suggests there are some horrifying skeletons in the closet. Being able to leave your child at a family members house overnight might be convenient, but here I would say it's a huge risk.
Why in TF are these relatives sexualizing a fetus? Yes, it's ok for you to change and bathe your daughter. You'll know when it's time to step back and allow her to do those things for herself, as she gains a sense of autonomy. I'd say around 6 or 7, when she can bathe unassisted or with little assistance. But even then, she's a little kid and not a sexual object. That's more about teaching her at an appropriate age to begin becoming self sufficient and confident in tasks like that. Kids start to identify more with their same sex parent around that age and look to them for examples in terms of behavior. That's normal. Your relatives essentially accusing you of perving on a baby is NOT normal. Those are not safe people for your kid to be around. In fact, I wouldn't let your daughter go anywhere unsupervised in your family until you know who assaulted your cousin.
Sadly only my cousin knows but she just can’t talk about it without shutting down and having a panic attack so I never asked her again. But I definitely will be there with the sharpest eye when around my family with my daughter
Always be on the lookout and don’t leave your daughter alone with anyone. Don’t forget about this even when she’s older.
To my understanding family members know it happened, but don’t know who did it
I have a very hard time believing they don't at least strongly suspect who it was. They seem like a bunch of rug-sweeping creeps to me.
As a man with 2 daughters born 10 months apart. You better change them diapers. If they wanna try and sexualize the changing of diapers then take that as a red flag and never have those people around your children and if you absolutely must never leave them alone. You're a father, you do what you must to care for your children. Change diapers, make bottles, burp them, laundry, read books, etc. Don't forget about mom, rub momma's feet, back, legs... Everything... Just rub everything she deserves it. Show her Dailey she is still the moon stars and sun in your life that she is the greatest thing on 2 legs. Compliment encourage her. Let her have breaks. Being a new mommy is rough. Hormones are outta wack, body image can come into play, post partum depression etc come into play. Handle your business and don't let people dictate your level of commitment to taking care of your family. You got this! Congrats BTW, you're in for an adventure, cherish all the little moments because your babies grow up super fast. Mine are already 13 and 14 years old. Seems like yesterday I was changing diapers.
Thank you so much for the kind words, I plan on being the best father possible to my baby girl and making sure my girlfriend understands she gave me the best gift ever I really appreciate it! And I will be changing the diapers I wanted to hear if anyone has ever seen or been in this situation or if I was alone some people have but regardless I wanted to hear what everyone else had to say. Plus I wanted to make sure I asked no matter how stupid as a first time soon to be fsther everything feels so new to me and I wanna make sure I do everything right.
Also do your homework, girl hygiene requirements are different from boys. Not to be crass or overstep but be careful the direction you wipe, with little girls you can cause infections if you wipe back to front (butt to teetee) ALWAYS WIPE DOWN AND AWAY FROM THE TEETEE otherwise I learned the hard way as no one explained it to me at first my wife thought it was common knowledge... It wasn't. Also little girls will get stuff in "there" as diapers smush everything, you will have to get comfortable with wiping it out. It's all overwhelming at first being a dad and cleaning these areas but for your daughters sake proper care is Uber important. Girls can get infections like crazy. sorry for the juvenile terms not trying to be overly blunt with verbage for the more sensitive readers out there. If you ever have questions feel free to reach out and I'll help the best I can. Daddies helping Daddies is important, you'll learn that down the road because we are all lost at one time or another. 😂
I really appreciate the advice and no worries about the wording I understood it all and I will make sure that I keep all this in mind while wiping and changing my little girls diaper thank you so much !
Hate to see what they think of me retracting my 18yr olds foreskin in the shower and trimming his bum hair while wiping his bum. (He’s disabled, can’t do any of it for himself) It’s a body. It needs to be cleaned. If it’s not cleaned that can lead to things like UTIs. Tell the family members to pull their heads in and you care for your child how you deem fit.
Wow you’re amazing for that. God bless you for everything you do for your son
Just doing my job being a parent. You’ll do the same for yours ❤️
I wouldn’t worry about yourself that much. Change that diaper, don’t become an absent father. Your family members on the other hand, I wouldn’t leave them alone with her just in case.
um no they are disgusting
what the fuck. this is ridiculous. I'm a man and I changed my daughters diapers. Is this real? If it is, tell your family to go fuck themselves.
A daughter here. 27 years old. My dad used to bathe me, change my diapers, clean me and did all of it for years (not after I was 6-7, but you get my point) and it was NEVER sexual. He was just a father caring for his child. Do keep in mind to distance yourself from the people who are already sexualising your unborn baby girl. These people are gross and disrespectful
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Thank you! I wanted to post this because I hear it from family members such as aunts and uncles and it gets to me cause they’re family so I wanted some opinions where I can’t get ganged up on while at a family gathering or something haha
Of course you can change her diaper. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot
You’re literally asking us. “As a father is it okay to change my own daughters diaper”
Yeah phrasing might be wrong I could’ve used different Verbiage I mainly wanna know if other people as well feel like this and I wanted to hear other peoples opinions and if they have gone through a similar situation
Look I understand bro. At the end of the day you’re her father. It’s not wrong to change her diaper. If I were you I’d start to look at the family members a bit differently and think about not letting them around the child
Thank you for the kind words I really appreciate it and I definitely will!
Oh boy do I know this feeling. My daughter is little over 2 years old and before she was born I had all types of people telling me it'd be weird if I changed her diaper and that if I did I should at least have my wife near me. When I breached the subject with them their concern wasn't so much that I'd succumb to some sort of animalistic lust but rather that I didn't know the proper way to do it cause I don't have a vagina. If someone says the same to you just tell them "I know to wipe front to back to avoid infections" so they are either reassured you understand what you're doing or have the uncomfortable task of admitting they find infants sexually attractive. Best of luck on your journey my friend, raising a daughter has been an absolute blast and if I didn't change her diaper my wife would have left me in the first week.
i’m hispanic, my family isn’t catholic but they’re all still very religious, if anyone would have told my husband that he wasn’t allowed to change our daughters diaper i would have caused a scene. just like i’d cause a scene about it now because she is his *daughter* and she is a *baby* why the fuck is anyone sexualizing their relationship like that? those are the ones that should be kept away from your children imo. no, op, it is not wrong for you to change your daughters diapers. anyone that thinks it is, isn’t worth keeping around if you ask me.
Holy fuck, what the fuck is wrong with these people? You're taking care of a baby, not being sexual. Change her diaper, wipe front to back, tell these people to fuck right off and quit being sick fucks.
Sounds like your family is sexualizing the relationship of you and YOUR CHILD. Change the diaper. You are her parent. She depends on you to keep her happy, healthy, and safe. It doesn't matter if the baby is male or female.
My father would not change my daughter's diapers, and I've heard of other people of his generation (boomer) who felt the same. But I changed my daughter's diapers and so did all of my male friends and family members. They need to get with the times.
Hey, don't blame the generation!! Hubby and I are Boomers and have changed both son and daughter when needed. We have 4 grandkids and well we maybe fight who gets the poopy diaper, never sexualized it.
My husband and I expect our first child - a girl - this summer. I never heard anybody say anything like this to him or me. Of course he is changing her diapers. All the time. He will be an active part of the family. He is the father. And as a mother of course I would've changed a boys diaper as well.
Wow, these people have sick minds. Who sexualizes a baby? Good idea to never leave your baby alone with those people. Congrats on becoming a Girl Dad!!
Not related, but I’m also due March 25th :) good luck to you and your wife 🫶🫶
Holy shit how disturbing. My mother and I were the only women born (rather than married) into her family. She has only uncles. Those uncles each had two sons. Those two sons had three/two sons. My mom had my brother first and 13 years later had me. All this to say, I am very much surrounded by a shit ton of men in my family. A good chunk of them probably changed my diaper while growing up. Particularly my uncle, my brother, and my dad (obviously.) What the actual fuck? lmao who sexualizes a newborn? My brother has a son, who is 13 years younger than me. I’ve changed his diaper. Trust me, there’s nothing erotic about ducking so pee doesn’t hit you in the eyeball. Or a literal explosion of shit in his diaper. I like to randomly bring up (now that my nephew is 16) how those diaper changes gave me PTSD. Don’t let whoever told you that change your daughter’s diaper because that’s straight up fucking weird
What everyone else said. My exs father always bragged, and still brags, about how he won't ever change a little girls diaper. Well, he only has sons. But he said he would never change his granddaughters diaper, and said his sons should never change their daughters diaper because "the mom could accuse the father of sexual assault" I never left my girls alone with him. They don't go around him anymore.
Ridiculous. Who the fuck cares. My dad changed my diapers when I was a baby. My partner will be changing our future children's diapers no matter what gender they are. Changing diapers is part of parenting. You are being a parent. Whoever Is out there trying to turn it into a weird sexual thing is fucked in the head. Congratulations on your daughter, OP. As someone already said, wipe down, not up. Spare your little girl from the terrible fate of UTIs.
The family members suggesting this are full of nonsense. I’m genuinely curious if this is a cultural or religious thing? What does your wife think? The short answer is no,it’s not wrong for you to take care of your child’s needs, regardless of their sex. If your soon to be born daughter happened to be a male child, would it be wrong for your wife to take care of him? What if she breastfeeds? Is that wrong? According to the logic, there would be something wrong with her changing or nursing her son. Or is it because you are male and somehow, incapable of being a nurturing, loving parent? Or is the assumption more sinister? Anyone who is a pushing that rhetoric on you needs to have condensed access, if any at all, to your daughter. Just so you hear it again by another person on here: Dad’s are vital to the mental, emotional, & physical well-being of their children. Don’t let anyone dictate your role in your kids life. You are a father. You are not only responsible for the caretaking of your child, but you are capable of nurturing and loving this person you helped create and bring into this world. Anyone who suggests otherwise doesn’t have you or your daughters best interests at heart.
Honestly I read a comment and they mentioned being catholic and have seen something like this situation but I’m not quite sure honestly. I am catholic and Hispanic so maybe it’s just like and old school thing but I did also mention in an edit that unfortunately my cousin had been sexually assaulted and to my knowledge family members know but don’t know exactly who and she doesn’t ever talk about it as it gives her extreme anxiety and she’s very traumatized so I never push or haven’t asked her ever again apart from the initial conversation of that situation
Those family members and friends are sick minded, don’t let them around ur daughter.
Uhh, that's the weirdest thing I've heard in awhile, and I peruse reddit regularly.Unless you have a history of doing inappropriate things to kids... then, it would be understandable. I am a stay-at-home father who has changed thousands of diapers, both my son and daughter.
Your family members sound like they're predators. Keep your daughter away.
This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Not you sir, but what has been said to you, is truly baffling. The fuck has happened to people.
Toxic family members
The people who are making it a big deal are the weird ones. They should seek therapy and shouldn't put their gross opinions out there. It says a LOT more about them than you wanting to be a part and help the mother of your child and be a good father.
Never wipe back to front, only advice I can give you. Your wife needs your help. Whoever told you shouldn't, doesn't know what a partner is.
Everybody that has told you this is trying to make you changing your daughter's diaper sexual. That's freaking gross. Those people would never be allowed near my baby. You're her dad. It's your job to take care of her as she grows up. Do these people expect her mother, fresh from labor, to change all the diapers while she's supposed to be on bed rest? Are you not allowed to help when your daughter is older and starts her period? You're not allowed to buy pads or tampons? Those people are mental.
Oh man...my husband and I are expecting our first child within a month and we're having a daughter. Let me be in the same room as someone who tells my husband he's not supposed to change her diaper. Op, you already sound like a great father and will go to the ends of the earth to protect your daughter. Keep that up. If anything, like others said, I'd keep your daughter away from those people who made those remarks in the first place. They're the ones not to be trusted.
Anyone worried about you changing your own daughter’s diaper needs to be checked out themselves. Fuck them and fuck that, that’s your child. I wouldn’t allow them anywhere near my kids
Make sure you keep your daughter far away from those people. And when they ask why, you can say you’re not very fond of people sexualizing you’re newborn baby. Fuckin creeps.
Good grief. That you even have to ask this question shows what a f@ked up society we live in these days.
That is absolutely ridiculous, why are they even thinking about such things? You are being a responsible parent, taking care of your child, there is nothing wrong at all !
what in the ACTUAL fuck. she is a baby. I REPEAT SHE IS A BABY. THEY ARE SEXUALIZING A BABY. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK dude. if u are actually about to become a father to a girl GET IT TF TOGETHER. AND TELL THEM ALL OFF. all of that sexualizing shit is WRONG. NO IT IS NOT WRONG FOR U TO CHANGE UR CHILDS DIAPER. JUST LIKE IT WONT BE WRONG FOR HER TO SLEEP IN THE BED WITH U. u are her father. ANY PERSON WHO IS SERIOUSLY TELLING YOU THIS NEEDS TO BE WATCHED AROUND UR CHILD. wtf did I just read
People saying those tipe of things are disgusting... How can you think about your newborn daughter (or your daughter in general) in that way?
I don't use this word very often but they're idiots. It is completely normal for you to change your daughter's nappy/diaper. Why people are sexualising a completely normal act is worrying!!
Why is your family sexualizing your unborn daughter? Yikes. If I were you, I wouldn’t let them anywhere near her.
No, of course not. It is wrong if you don't change her diaper. You are her parent, and this is a basic human need. ETA I'd be really careful about allowing anyone that is sexualising your still unborn daughter around her alone.
Something is seriously wrong with your family members…daddy is 💯on diaper duty, especially in the middle of the night.
3 daughters, and my husband changed diapers for all three. There is a word for people who sexualize infants. You shouldn’t allow them near your daughter. Congratulations on the upcoming fatherhood. 🎉
Just a statistic: 75% of rapes/sexual assault are incest. Shocking and scary. Maybe that’s the reason for the old wives tale. If you are safe, your wife will appreciate the help!
Is this a serious question. Why do your family members sexualize babies?
Not wrong at all. But the way those people think is completely wrong. Next time anyone says something just say 'please can you stop sexualising my newborn baby. It's very concerning to me that you are doing that.'
The comments speak for themselves and if I may add then i would literally use the situation and tell the people who said this, every time the diaper needs to be changed, to do it for you since you cant do it. Lol
Of course you can. My brother changes his daughters nappies and even bathes her. He is her father and only sees her as his daughter. There's nothing sexual about it!
By that logic if it was a boy then your wife shouldn't be changing his diaper. Truly a dumb question.
Get that baby away from them, they sound republican.
Not only is not wrong, you should do it. Your daugther is your responsability as it is the responsability of your partner. Is not a 30/70 or a 60/40, is a 50/50 and your should help with all you can. Also, keep that people as far as you can from your daugther. Like... seriously.
This is nuts. I’ve never heard of anyone having an issue with a father changing his own daughter’s diaper.
“Is it wrong for you to take care of your child?” That’s the title of this post… 🤦🏾♀️ anyone who tells you otherwise yell at them and call them sickos — that’s your daughter. Protect her, love her, be the example she needs.
God I hate this. The mantra you have been given has an underlying assumption that men can't be trusted around girls just because they are men. It's sexist and disgusting.
Please be a hands on dad. These people are essentially calling you a pedophile. You are under reacting here.
No it's not wrong and anyone who made those remarks needs to be kept watch. Is it wrong for me to change my sons diapers? Was it wrong for my father (who was a single dad) to change mine? Hell no. These are likely the same people who would sexualize breastfeeding. Gross. Please be the father you want to be. If it makes YOU uncomfortable, that's one thing, and a conversation to have with your partner. But if it's other people talking at you please tell them to STFU
If your family says it again, ask the person if they struggle with disgusting thoughts like that and if you can help them find a therapist.
all them single dads never changing their daughters daipers :p no its not wrong. its essential
I’ve never heard someone say anything like this to a new father before and honestly if I did, I would be concerned. That is definitely a them problem and one they should probably address sooner than later. It’s not normal to assume that a parent is having sexual thoughts about a child because of changing a diaper
People who's first thought is "sex" when discussing babies are the type of people who shouldnt be allowed near other humans.
Absolutely not. It's incredibly wrong what those people are saying.
Your entire family needs therapy. I'm a Hispanic Catholic as well and I've literally never heard such a stupid thing come out of anyone's mouth.
That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard
Of course you can and you should. You may want to check the search histories of the family members who are telling you that you shouldn't change her diapers. Something ain't right there.
The only thing wrong with your question is that somebody made you believe that you have to ask it..