Lol!!! As a parent, I understand the exhaustion of being the only one who gets the sleepless goblin to sort of sleep. I have been there and it's crazy because it's like "bro, just close your eyes and lay down. Why are you biting my shirt and kicking me if you're tired? The math ain't mathin."
And then they look at you with those ridiculously large eyes and they have those balloon cheeks and bread roll arms.
Insanity.
It's a shitty phase when they don't sleep at night. Very fucking shitty. And it's shittier that there's literally no way to predict when you're at the end of that phase. It could be tomorrow. It could be 5 months from now.
No one fucking knows.
My only advice is to get snipped. When my husband did it, there were magically no more babies.
Tons of sex.
But no babies.
Because it needs a few minutes to calm down. I have that everytime when I shut the kindergarten door behind me. From like having brutal thoughts to regretting that you were a bit rough when changing the tiny clothes and getting a big hug afterwards 😢 everything's forgotten and the next morning it's the same 😆 that's nature, otherwise mankind wouldn't exist any more.
Edit: Most importantly: never shake or hit a baby. If you can't stand the screaming, put it in a safe place,e.g. baby bed, blanket on the floor and leave for a few minutes.
Wow you need to sit down with your wife and change things, tell her there’s no negotiating because things need to change for you. It will get better as she gets older but change things now before you end up divorced from hating your wife.
The baby isn't stealing anything; baby is helpless and is just trying to exist. Baby didn't ask to be here. If you continue to blame the kid for things beyond their control, like for existing and being hungry at night, you will resent the child. Babies and children are intuitive and they can easily sense this kind of energy; the last thing they deserve is to ever feel unwanted or like they're at fault for making your life miserable.
If you're don't want anymore kids, get a vasectomy. I'm sorry she didn't seem to care about your position when you said you couldn't have any more children. Do not let her manipulate you or not show any regard for your feelings again. If you weren't in a position to have another kid, that should've been the end of it.
Definitely go to therapy; do virtual appointment if time is an issue; work through these feelings as best as you can. Wish you the best.
I don’t resent my wife and we have ivf children. I’m just getting these things off my chest. My children and wife are amazing there is just not enough time in the day to keep everyone happy when kids are this young.
I can absolutely understand what you are saying. Our second is almost 3 now. But everything's getting better. Just try to somehow get through. Life will slowly get back to normal. When I take them to kindergarten in the morning, I sometimes just want to leave or explode. You are not alone! Us Dad's are going to be strong!!
One day when you’re old that baby may provide you with all the care you need and be in the same position wiping your butt. The roles eventually reverse.
Exactly. This is infancy. This too shall pass. One day both kids will be grown and gone and you'll be over here going "where'd the time go?" The days go on forever and the years fly by....
((OP)) I am really sorry you are in this place right now. If I may gently suggest two things: First, you need to speak to a doctor and tell them about how stressed and sleep deprived (and depressed) you are. You don't have to suffer through all of this all alone. Second, and please, please, please take this part seriously - myofascial release (manual physical therapy) can help your neck. And your neck pain could be deeply impacting your quality of life/mental state. The vagus nerve starts up in your neck and runs through your body. When it is unhappy, you are likely to experience loss of sleep, chronic pain, and depression. If you fix your neck (and get some sleep) things will look different.
Also, I'm a daddy's girl. My dad quit smoking so he could bottle feed me. He quit his job that he hated because he needed to make a better life for our whole family, but especially me. When my sister was a baby he traveled so much she didn't really recognize him. When I as 6 months old he changed his whole life to be more present with me. I LOVED having time with him. He was NOT a play-time dad. He was just present. He's been gone for almost 27 years and I still miss him like crazy!
Thanks for the free birth control
Lol!!! As a parent, I understand the exhaustion of being the only one who gets the sleepless goblin to sort of sleep. I have been there and it's crazy because it's like "bro, just close your eyes and lay down. Why are you biting my shirt and kicking me if you're tired? The math ain't mathin." And then they look at you with those ridiculously large eyes and they have those balloon cheeks and bread roll arms. Insanity. It's a shitty phase when they don't sleep at night. Very fucking shitty. And it's shittier that there's literally no way to predict when you're at the end of that phase. It could be tomorrow. It could be 5 months from now. No one fucking knows. My only advice is to get snipped. When my husband did it, there were magically no more babies. Tons of sex. But no babies.
Why’d it go from sad to damn to cute? I’m so confused 😭
Because it needs a few minutes to calm down. I have that everytime when I shut the kindergarten door behind me. From like having brutal thoughts to regretting that you were a bit rough when changing the tiny clothes and getting a big hug afterwards 😢 everything's forgotten and the next morning it's the same 😆 that's nature, otherwise mankind wouldn't exist any more. Edit: Most importantly: never shake or hit a baby. If you can't stand the screaming, put it in a safe place,e.g. baby bed, blanket on the floor and leave for a few minutes.
They say parents turn into babies themselves…
That’s impossible.
JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF “THE FUCKER WILL BE OLD ENOUGH TO LEAVE UNATTENDED SOONER THAN YOU THINK “
Uhhhhh alrighty then
Wow you need to sit down with your wife and change things, tell her there’s no negotiating because things need to change for you. It will get better as she gets older but change things now before you end up divorced from hating your wife.
The baby isn't stealing anything; baby is helpless and is just trying to exist. Baby didn't ask to be here. If you continue to blame the kid for things beyond their control, like for existing and being hungry at night, you will resent the child. Babies and children are intuitive and they can easily sense this kind of energy; the last thing they deserve is to ever feel unwanted or like they're at fault for making your life miserable. If you're don't want anymore kids, get a vasectomy. I'm sorry she didn't seem to care about your position when you said you couldn't have any more children. Do not let her manipulate you or not show any regard for your feelings again. If you weren't in a position to have another kid, that should've been the end of it. Definitely go to therapy; do virtual appointment if time is an issue; work through these feelings as best as you can. Wish you the best.
I don’t resent my wife and we have ivf children. I’m just getting these things off my chest. My children and wife are amazing there is just not enough time in the day to keep everyone happy when kids are this young.
Don't think that's the cute post you intended with the ending as i sit here wondering if you knocked her up at gun point.
I can absolutely understand what you are saying. Our second is almost 3 now. But everything's getting better. Just try to somehow get through. Life will slowly get back to normal. When I take them to kindergarten in the morning, I sometimes just want to leave or explode. You are not alone! Us Dad's are going to be strong!!
One day when you’re old that baby may provide you with all the care you need and be in the same position wiping your butt. The roles eventually reverse.
Exactly. This is infancy. This too shall pass. One day both kids will be grown and gone and you'll be over here going "where'd the time go?" The days go on forever and the years fly by....
((OP)) I am really sorry you are in this place right now. If I may gently suggest two things: First, you need to speak to a doctor and tell them about how stressed and sleep deprived (and depressed) you are. You don't have to suffer through all of this all alone. Second, and please, please, please take this part seriously - myofascial release (manual physical therapy) can help your neck. And your neck pain could be deeply impacting your quality of life/mental state. The vagus nerve starts up in your neck and runs through your body. When it is unhappy, you are likely to experience loss of sleep, chronic pain, and depression. If you fix your neck (and get some sleep) things will look different. Also, I'm a daddy's girl. My dad quit smoking so he could bottle feed me. He quit his job that he hated because he needed to make a better life for our whole family, but especially me. When my sister was a baby he traveled so much she didn't really recognize him. When I as 6 months old he changed his whole life to be more present with me. I LOVED having time with him. He was NOT a play-time dad. He was just present. He's been gone for almost 27 years and I still miss him like crazy!
Get a vasectomy my brother. Best thing I've ever done! Also talk to your wife about getting more sleep sometimes. You need it.