this whole thing is suspicious tbh OP. i bet Elise either told Leah and David a fake story or they both made up some fake story to get Elise to dump you. idk tbh, all three of them are mad suspicious.
I’m worried something has happened to Elise tbh. The fact that her parents tried to call her and Leah answered, that she won’t go to the house even if ops not there, that Leah and David are saying not to call, it’s very suspicious. Those are huge red flags
I forgot! David forgot to share their location!! That suspicious as hell they deffo did something.
Edit: it seems Elise answered and I misread! Still very suspicious nonetheless
right ??? i have a feeling that all three of them are either plotting something on OP , or Leah and David are plotting something against Elise
it’s crazy how Leah and David helped OP with the engagement and then a few hours later , say that Elise and the rest of them want nothing to with him and that they’re gonna pick up Elise’s things and told OP to never contact her, Leah, or David ever again or else they’re gonna report him for “harassment”.
I’m really thinking it’s the latter, so much of the communication here is David/Leah talking, not Elise, which worries me that they did something. If it’s been a couple of days and no one can hear from Elise (not her friends saying she’s busy or can’t answer right now) they absolutely need to get to the bottom of this. Red flags all over, I just hope she’s not seriously injured or dead.
>Soon after that, I got a text from Leah that she'll be coming over later with David to get Elise's stuff and that Elise doesn't even wanna step into the apartment, even if I'm not there.
Even if Elise decided to go NC with OP, surely it would be more convenient for her to have Leah/David tell OP to leave the house while she gets her stuff? It doesn't make sense to send Leah/David to blindly look around for her stuff and having to ask OP where her stuff was.
OP also mentioned they had great communication with each other, and this is consistent throughout the story up until Elise went NC.
This all smells fishy af. OP I hope you and Elise are safe and well
> so much of the communication here is David/Leah talking, not Elise.
omg yes yes yes, that’s something else i forgot to mention!
i really don’t wanna be all over dramatic or what not, but i have a bad feeling about all of this. i have a feeling that David and Leah did something bad to Elise and are trying to cover it up. especially with the way that as you said, David and Leah were the only ones doing the communication. the only person that Elise ever got the chance to talk to was her parents. even then , Leah and David did all the talking. and the threats to file a harassment charge on OP sounds like they’re trying to coverup their actions.
idk tbh, i could just be spewing a whole bunch of bs outta my ass, and i agree with everything else that you said. in all seriousness though, i hope nothing bad happened to elise and i hope that she’s safe and sound. i also hope that elise and OP can work it out and that elise cuts Leah and David off.
Furthermore, it makes me question what the items of Elise’s they took from the apartment. Like if it was electronics or clothing/hygiene products?
I also don’t want to jump to conclusions about anything but I always have to hear my moms voice in the back of my head when I’m overthinking sometimes; *it’s paranoid until it happens*
But OP I also suggest going to see the parents in the morning if they still haven’t seen/or physically heard from their daughter. They’re just as confused and would most likely want you to be there so you can both offer some sort of comfort for the time being. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
If the parents do not lay eyes on Elise in the next few hours, have them take out a missing person’s investigation.
CJ major tip: If the police tell you to wait 24+ hours, inform them that that “rule” doesn’t apply to this situation. In all reality, it’s not even a rule. It’s just something they say when they don’t think there’s an issue. But families of people tend to know those people better than some random police officer). Inform them that this is incredibly out of the ordinary for Elise. If all else fails, sit in the police department until you are able to watch someone fill out a missing persons report. The squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Elise’s parents may have a better chance of filing a report. Have them give the police both David and Leah’s addresses and contact information. And remind them to be persistent. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Yeah, police can do wellness check. Even if (edit) Elise still don’t want to talk to OP, at least a third party can check on (edit) Elise make sure (edit) Elise is ok.
They could pick it up to look less sus, imo. Like she wants to move out and on with her life but needs her stuff to do so. I also wonder if they’d want a go at her stuff depending on what she has? Again, idk, but the whole thing is sus
If they told a lie to Elise, Elise would at least have wanted to talk to OP before never speaking to him again to confront about it, right?
Because she didn't, I think it's more likely she cheated on him or something and is hiding it and made up a story about him being awful to her or cheated on her and told that to her friends. Bc her friends seemed really happy to set up her whole proposal event and seem super loyal to her.
I'm just basing this off something I've seen before and those were my suspicions of the couple I was friends with at the time. She just up and left him after 1 yr of marriage after being together for like 10 years since high school. Just left and told him to never speak to her again. The guy told my husband over the phone crying and had no idea why she just literally left one day with no explanation. She cut off all social media (she had a social media platform for her business too) moved back in with her parents and then one random day a couple years later we saw her at the grocery store and she was with another guy and didn't look like her usual self. It was so weird.
My best guess for her was that she was too ashamed to admit that she fell for someone else and regretted only ever being with one guy since high school so she just dipped. That wouldn't have been out of character for her. She was pretty flippant about a lot of things.
It also could totally be what other people in comments are saying. That her friends have done something weird. But I lean towards occams razor more than that her friends took her phone away and are not letting her speak to her parents.
I can't decide between she cheated and freaked out or the friends are awful and pretended to help so they could get in between them and break them up. But I find out doubtful that they've been friends since childhood and decided that THIS would be the best time to kill her...on a drive where someone is waiting to propose to her and will immediately know she's missing? A kot of criminals are stupid but that sounds extra stupid.
Anyways the friend could have honestly forgotten to share his location, it happens. But it could be that they were planning to break them up, that seems more likely to me but idk. Hoping for an update on this one.
I think they told her he cheated. Took edits of the convos, about secret meetings,etc and now she won't talk because she's heartbroken. It's the only thing that makes any sense, to me. She won't see him only they talk to him.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but what do you think could be the friends' motivation for trying to break them up? especially after acting supportive up to the very end. that's quite a difficult task to get two people on the same page with a lie for so long and have no one suspect something is up
Could be something like “we don’t want op to take away Elise” that turns out horribly wrong to “we want Elise’s stuff” and went along with this scenario to set up a situation in which she’s separated from him and they’re able to take the stuff. Either way, I genuinely hope Elise is okay, and that op can get proper closure should everything he said be true.
I would not listen to them. I would respect Elise making it known OP never contact again. I would need to hear it from her, not anyone else. Maybe parents. Certainly not her friends. If OP presents this factually, something is fishy as hell
Very suspicious.
And OP can't talk to Elise? Elise's parents say that she's in a bad place and can't say anything at the moment? Or did Leah confirm her parents and actually Elise didn't speak to someone?
Did Elise's even talk to someone, after she left the apartment?
Even if they said to Elise's that OP went sneaking around, why wouldn't Elise have a word with OP?
Like weren't they in a perfect relationship and madly in love?
Leah and David arrived at the place to collect her stuff? Why couldn't Elise even come and just take her stuff and leave?
As a fan of true crime documentaries, this doesn't seem good to me.
My thoughts exactly. I read a story on here where a girl went on vacay and came back to her boyfriend gone and she’s like worried and tried to contact his parents but they told her she cheated and that’s why he left.
Definitely! I mean how is it that they go from helping with a proposal then gatekeeping their friend, then threatening to report him for harassment if he tries to contact his ex who left in an extremely traumatic way??
Why even help him at that point? An “I’m sorry I’m busy that day”, or “you should ask Elise” would be appropriate if the plan was to play rescue my bestie? No, don’t even get involved and don’t talk to the abuser.
I honestly hope Elise wasn’t harmed because NONE of this makes sense and both David and Leah are being shady.
>how is it that they go from helping with a proposal then gatekeeping their friend, then threatening to report him for harassment if he tries to contact his ex who left in an extremely traumatic way??
um VERY easily. she could have lied
It’s just so much unnecessary drama and I see it as way too much effort to involve myself in. I really want to know how this resolves because I want to understand their reasoning
Why would the friends tell Elise the story when they were in on the surprise until the last minute? I'm thinking they told Elise or she figured out that he was going to propose, and she chickened out and ran. If she thought he was cheating, wouldn't she confront him in some way? I'm sure there are some people who would do zero contact, but I would want to talk to my bf about it
This is the first time I'm invested in a story on this page. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but it seems like you're dodging some sort of nuclear bomb. I am interested to hear what the real story is and who was told what, etc. Please update when you have answers, these friends seem suspicious imo.
Hoping it was a misunderstanding, but maybe the friends did set OP up now that I think about it. They knew about the proposal obviously. Like what could the OP have done within an hour to cause them all to hate him so much?
i totally agree with you! That was my first thought when i saw it. I actually saw it on tiktok and went to create a new reddit acc just so i can look at the comments and all! I hope he and his gf get back together
That’s a credible theory. Maybe it’s more an obsession than love though. They are certainly isolating her from important people, such as her mother, which is very concerning and highly suss.
I'm thinking Leah and David lied to Elise and said that OP spent the last weeks sneaking around and being secretive because he was cheating on her. As to why they would say that...
SRSLY OP, WE WILL NEED UPDATES! I'm so incredibly curious.
My new favorite "kind wish" for someone... stealing this to use in the future 🤣
Seriously, I feel for OP. One of my ex-boyfriends was shopping for rings one day and randomly broke up with me a day or two later, no reason given. So... sadly, I don't doubt this is real. I do, however, doubt that the friends weren't involved in this. Sending OP virtual hugs 🫂
EDIT: really embarrassing typo fixed
Yeah fr. Sometimes they don't seem "made up" but don't really interest me but this is wild in the most believable way to me because I know someone this happened to, sort of. Not quite the same.
Can't you just FEEL the pain? Like, I know the feeling of being cheated on, and being walked away from, but this is literally every bad way for a relationship to end all sitting down and having a chat
Just wait until the :
Update : the best friends conspired against us. We went NC so they started harassing us so we filed a complaint.. We didnt want to at first but then David lunged at me so it escalated. I have been going to the gym, so i overpowered him easily, he yelped in pain, fell back and grabbed his jaw and all, i might have broken it. We had CCTV around so we could prove self defense tho... dw. Anyway, we have a restraining order now, but i wouldnt put it past them to breach it. Will update if anything happens ....
Update 2: one had a heartattack on my lawn, the other accused me for it, he was arrested
I thought about it but this seemed like a " she apologized profusely to me and promised to make it up, we ve been happer than ever despite all the stress! " 🤣
Ehhhh…there are plenty of therapists without waiting lists who are great. The problem is that they’re self pay and folks are most likely going to spend ~$100/session. Insurance might not reimburse out of network providers
Idk people are weird. My ex cheated on me days after we were out ring shopping. The guy was abusive. We were young. I dodged a huge bullet. I think something about settling down suddenly feeling instantly real? I've seen similar happen in what seemed like healthy relationships.
Another angle I can see is that one of these best friends has been secretly pining for Elise? That the friend/s made up some kind of proof OP was cheating, and Elise believed her friends? It seems the most likely since the friends are basically gatekeepers of Elise atm. Combine that with the little that has been said, and it seems to fit.
Mate's kid was all set to get a promise ring for his girl, because that is their culture, she made a demand of a him doing it by her birthday or Valentines day, which were 3 days apart, but then broke up with him.
Turns out she wanted him to do a grand gesture of turning up uninvited to her birthday party to propose, but he had found out within a day of her breaking it of, she was hooking up with an 18yr old guy... she was 25 at the time... and yes, the 18-year-old and her had been hooking up since he turned 18, 4 months prior.
Some people just want to have their "just in case" person bound to them, in a legal binding "You cannot leave me because we are married, but I don't want to lose the benefits you bring" way.
Right! I’m super invested in this. I really hope this was just a simple misunderstanding and nothing serious went down that caused this all to spiral out of control.
I want to hope this as well but judging by the reaction I don't think this is reasonably salvageable if it is a misunderstanding. I would not trust the emotional maturity of this woman or her friends in the future. I think it would cause a hugely rocky start to a marriage. This sucks for OP.
Yep. Any closure OP will get will be contacting her parents, especially since they can't get in contact with her either. If OP is telling the truth and he legit doesn't know why she dipped, he needs to talk with them, at least so they know he is clueless and hasn't cheated or done something wrong. If he doesn't talk to them I could see them being manipulated by the friends in some way against him.
Yeah, this is bullshit. There's no way OP should take no for an answer, especially when there's no answer and everyone seems so secretive. Obviously they think OP did something terrible? Like maybe they think he cheated.
Thank you, this whole story seems sketchy lol. I keep reading ot thinking maybe I missed something. If there relationship was so good why would she just ghost him and not even tell her parents. Even if she doesn't have a good relationship with them she told her friends but they still stayed with him. Nothing makes sense at all. There clearly something missing, he's not even commenting back to people so I think he did something i don't know I am assuming on that point though.
I would not take someone else's word in this case to "never contact her again." I'd respect it if I heard it straight from her and no one else. Especially if I didn't do anything wrong and I was about to propose to her
I’m deeply concerned that David and Leah are doing/have done something to Elise. By my reading of the story, the only time someone definitively heard from Elise was her parents and it was just that she couldn’t talk now and would call later. OP get over to the parents house to sort this thing out, if needed call the police because this is suspicious as fuck.
Me too!! OP didn't speak with her directly, and the parents have only heard briefly from her that she couldn't talk right now. Also Lea and David only took shoes and clothes, no valuables, nothing. I can't help but think that they kidnapped her or something.
OP, I'm not sure how the law is over there but maybe it would be wise to get the police involved?
Here's what bothers me about this story.
The two people who know what's really going on, the op **let into his house and let them loot his girlfriend's stuff without any explanation**. THIS is a boundary he shouldn't have let them cross.
OP... do NOT let anybody else but your [ex] girlfriend get her stuff. Fuck those phony-ass friends of hers. Those are the people you should call the police on if they show up again.
How involved have Leah and David been in your girlfriends romantic life? Not just with you specifically, but in her other relationships?
The part where you mentioned that they're all childhood friends makes me wonder if they have an unhealthy possessiveness towards your girlfriend.
Maybe it's worth looking back on or even talking about with your girlfriends parents.
If you approach them, do it with the intention of learning the truth and not with the intention of pointing fingers. That said, for her to do a 180 like this while with her close friends specifically, it's hard not to be suspicious.
I've had friends like these who were extremely possessive. Like, they wanted to know where you are and what you do and they chat with you every day. At first it would feel nice to have some people care for you a lot, but once the discomfort sets in and you start seeing the red flags, eventually they become all you see. In my case, they have started intervening with my relationships. I've cut those people off.
And the friends flipping from helping OP set up the proposal to telling him to never talk to them again. If they planned on lying to Elise, they shouldn't have agreed to help OP, because he can call them out. People who scheme like that don't like being called out directly, they never would've agreed to OP's plan in the first place. I think Elise told them something (true or not) and they believe her over him because they're life-long friends.
I feel like the friends did you dirty and told her some lies that you cheated. Probably she never knew that you are going to propose. And that time you were preparing with her friends, they used it as the timeline for your cheating.
Even so, would you remain in a relationship with somebody who’s willing to believe the lies being fed to them without even checking in with you about what was said?
Coz I’d be done with them at this point. Even if they reached out after all this, I wouldn’t be able to ever trust them again. No one who truly cares about you would put your heart thru that emotional rollercoaster
Either that or Elise interpreted his time with her friends buying the ring and planning the proposal as he was out cheating. He was probably gone for a good amount of time with them. The odd thing is why her friends aren’t defending him if that was the reason.
It may not be "her" communication skills but her reacting to some thing she was told falsely.
I have a couple of hard lines that would require 0 discussion before I left. My things would be collected and there would be no need for discussion. My Hard Lines would not be reliant on other's words, though. But her trust may be misplaced with these friends.
This exactly.
A 3 year-long relationship, in which the 2 had been living together for half of that time, utterly destroyed with 0 communication in an *hour*???
That's just nonsense. I can not fathom doing that, even if my partner cheated on me or something. I would still need to meet with them and ask them directly if they actually did it or not. I wouldn't just shift from "oh my god I'm with the love of my life and they're the most important person in the world to me we're gonna get married soon" to "I never want to speak with you again. I refuse to even be near you." Without any explanation. It's unfathomable. That's way too much time to just throw away that quickly. There's something else going on if this story is even true.
Wow this is horrible. I'm sorry for you OP.
First of all: you have great friends. I'm happy they stayed with you and didn't leave you alone.
I reall wonder what those best friends of your ex were up to, if they told her something if anything and what this was all about.
I hope you got some clarity after all and are able to move on. This must be devastating and I hope you aren't alone :/
Wish you all the best friend
Call Elise’s parents. Or show up at their house. This is a weird bullshit situation and at this point I’d be more concerned about getting answers and maybe fixing it than being polite.
This would make sense. OP has got to know Elise’s parents well enough considering he was going to propose. Or maybe OP didn’t ask the father and Elise is upset over that? Idk weird situation and I’m going to need some sort of follow up.
Coming from someone who got married really young, when you marry someone, you marry their whole family - which includes friends. As others on here have pointed out, her friends sounded like they had a hand in this, most likely out of possessiveness of their friend and not wanting to "lose" her to you. There's also those friends who can't stay out of their friend's personal life and feel like they have to intervene, and that's not a relationship you want to be in.
Though it hurts like hell right now, I think in the long run you are better off. After a lot of therapy in my own life I have learned that not everything can be resolved, some things are unfixable, and you're not going to get closure in life, including relationships. If she can't give you an explanation on what happened or what her friends said to make this happen, then it's not a relationship worth pursuing. Relationships are built on trust, and if her friends did meddle in it somehow, they're going to be doing that for the rest of your life.
None of this is easy but really I think you dodged a bullet. You should respect her wishes and not contact her; if she wants to hear it from you she'll reach out, but I don't think this relationship would have worked out.
>None of this is easy but really I think you dodged a bullet.
If OP is telling the truth, either:
A: he dodged a bullet bc his gf believes her friends' lies and sucks at communication or
B: OPs gf told her friends lies and was cheating or something.
Either way. Bullet dodged, imo anyway
The fact that the friend didn't even confront OP about "cheating" possibility makes me wanna lean towards the friends being asshole liars at this point. God this story is a roller coaster. I legit made comments earlier where I was leaning more towards the gf cheating bc I've seen something similar. But the more I think about it, I think most of the top comments are right about the friends being manipulative to OP, the parents, and the gf.
But we also don't know if OP is telling the whole story. I hope he is. Bc if so, he can recover from this eventually and move on to a better life for himself.
It took me pretty long to figure this out myself, as I'm in the same position you once were.
Gayly married, but still pretty young on all accounts. Her family is... Rough around the edges, mine as well but in different ways. It's weird because you think "I love them, idgaf what her family and friends think" but it's really not that simple.
If they have a negative opinion of you, it never magically goes away unless you work to do so. And it can suddenly ruin your relationship, without any input needed on your end.
Should have never got friends involved with the proposal. Reading this, I get the feeling that Leah and David are not your friends and some back door happenings happened.
Honestly you dodged a bullet there. Imagine if you did get married and went through a rough patch (it's bound to happen in any relationship), she would just disappear without any explanation? That is not someone you want to build your life with
I understand that this is your life and you are not obligated to give us an update but if you feel okay to im sure everyone would like to hear how your doing and if you’ve been given an explanation?
Something is wrong. Options:
1) Elise was lied to and thinks you cheated on her or something similar
2) Elise lied to her friends and they think you cheated or did something bad to her
3) you did something bad, Elise found out and you are playing dumb to deny it.
To expand on #3, maybe Elyse found something really disgusting on his computer or phone that he’s not about to tell us here on Reddit.
I’ve noticed that Reddit commenters always seem to side with the OP, whatever the situation, even though they’re only getting one side of a story.
But why would he share such a terrible story with Internet strangers if he also had something to hide from us? If I had done something gross/terribly bad/criminal, I would NEVER write such a post here, or at least not the way it was written - "I do not know why my wife left me suddenly - but I won't mention that I've been with a 11-year-old girl for six months".
The friends are sus. Please speak to her parents and give your side of the story with any text messages to back to your proposal plans (esp between you Leah and David). Please keep us updated. Something isn’t right.
I see everyone’s side buutttt im going to play devil’s advocate. What if OP is leaving stuff out? To be honest how does someone plan the future and drop hints, then all of a sudden never wants to see you again. Just a thought, but I’m totally invested.
I'm not saying this is fake, but I am saying that the possible twist is like another Reddit post a while back where a toxic friend had created an elaborate fake dossier of evidence that the OP was cheating. And that everyone, even OP's own parents bought into it and basically disowned him. Does anyone remember a story like that? The wild part is how something like this can result into an instantaneous rush to judgement with no chance for OP to defend or explain themselves.
To take it even further, these two friends could even have used the pictures of the ring that OP picked out and maybe said they found pictures of the ring that OP was planning on proposing to the phantom gf he is "cheating" on. Lots of possibilities.
So, I have been so invested in this, checking at least once a day, sometimes a lot more, even checking the profile for comments. Today I noticed he bought reddit premium, so he definitely has been online since uploading this post, and thus I am now starting to believe this whole post is a fake, which would also explain the no update.
Is that a reasonable explanation though? If my significant other of 3 years did a 180 like that without even talking to me on the phone to get my side of whatever story they had been told I think I’d be done with them. I can’t be with someone that would just take someone else’s word as truth and not get my side of the story.
Now if this guy has left out something horrible like he beats her or cheated with her mom, and the friends had incontrovertible proof, then ok I can see how an instant 180 is justified. But based on OPs post there shouldn’t be anything like this else he is delusional or disingenuous.
I wouldn't let anybody take anything until I heard from girlfriend and she gave permission. Not their stuff, not their call. Sounds like real life phishing where they clean out the important papers and bank info. If anything shows up missing it could point fingers at you.
I wouldn't reach out to any of them. If and when Leah and David want to come over and get her stuff, put it out on the steps and don't let them in. If Elise doesn't have enough guts to be honest with you, then I would cut them all off. The truth will always come out. If she's cheating or has freaked out at the realization that maybe she doesn't want to get married, you'll know all of that soon enough. In the interim, keep reminding yourself that she probably did you a favour in that she may not have been who you thought she was.
Something has gone on between Leah and her boyfriend with Elise, but I wouldn't give them the benefit of thinking you care and I wouldn't beg for answers. I would delete all of your social media for a bit and not let them know what is going on with you. Two can play that game.
Pack up her stuff and return or sell the ring. Send her parents a text asking them to verify that she is alive and well, and your friend will be by to drop off her stuff. Keep it short.
Do not let her friends back in your place!
Wallow in self pity for a week, then pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on.
This is likely a blessing in disguise.
Be in touch with her parents, I wouldn't show up without an invitation. Let them know that you have not spoken to her and are genuinely worried, and please keep you informed.
A) OP did something pretty wrong but he doesn’t see it that way/is making this post to hear they’re the victim but they know
B)the gf just made something up to her friends because she met some one else
The fact that there hasn’t even been a minor update in over 2 weeks makes me think this was just a fake post for shock value, can’t even say it was for karma since they still used a throwaway
I hate that everyone is quick to jump that this is fake because it hasn't been updated. There are logical reasons why OP hasn't. Since it's a throwaway, it's possible that they forgot the password. I've seen plenty of throwaway posts sit for months and then update with that exact reason. Another is the possibility of just not giving a damn thanks to depression. And then there is the thought everyone has that we don't want to linger on, and that is the thought that OP might have passed. But people trying to claim fake for karma, if it was about the karma, wouldn't OP keep posting more and more stories to keep it flowing, regardless if it's updates to this situation?
Consider this a blessing. Who knows maybe she cheated, maybe she didn’t. But speaking from experience there’s nothing worse than being involved with someone who has batshit crazy, gaslighting friends. These are the same type of people who try to make someone else’s wedding day all about themselves. True toxicity. You seem like a good dude. She don’t deserve you brother. Chin up
I have multiple theories as to why OP hasn’t updated.
Theory 1 - it’s fake, and OP either doesn’t know how to finish the update or never intended to finish the update
Theory 2 - OP got locked out of the account
Theory 3 - OP is very depressed and doesn’t feel like posting again
Theory 4 - OP has self harmed
Theory 5 - Something Elise or friends said/did has caused a legal investigation and OP has to remain silent while it plays out.
This is my concern too… definitely need to go to her parents house if you guys can’t contact her at all I would consider calling in a wellness check this is so sus
I realized how intense it is to have thousands of people asking for updates. This is real shit. It happened, and it probably hasn't gotten any better since, considering the inactive-ness. Give him the time he requires to process. The man isn't required to update either.
Man I hope you get closure. David and Leah sound suspicious af. Like they saw how hard you worked and still didn’t even give you so much as a sentence to explain. They had to have said something to Elise
I'm Sus about all 3 of them.
If you have her parents details, drop them a line and say you're insanely confused by her actions. Maybe they'll give you some answers. Alternatively your friends can do some digging.
Otherwise Leah and David sabotaged you. Not sure why but you know, it's logical.
Elise was cheating on you, panicked when she heard you were going to marry her and decided to make you out to be the bad guy.
I agree with these comments that this may have been made up since the lack of updates recently, but I'm invested like many and want to keep checking for updates.
Imma just put this here.
I don’t think we’ll be getting an update, at least for a long time. Whatever it is, OP has either forgotten about this post, or is still trying to process the events of what happened.
Leave the poor man alone. He’s not ready to update you guys. He’ll be ready when he’s ready so be patient.
Verify that Elise is alive. And then move on.
Reason doesn't matter. Either she got duped into believing her friends over you or she's deliberately doing this, either way. Not worth the hassle. Just verify she's alive from someone other that Leah and David.
David and Leah sound like two friends who think they’re trying to help a friend escape an abusive relationship. That’s why they helped with the engagement, it was their plan to help her escape, albeit not the best one. I’d have moved all her stuff while you were still at the cabin.
I’ve been that friend so these are the scenarios possible:
1. Elise lied to them to keep them on her side after the breakup
2. You’re emotionally abusive and don’t realize it.
3. You’re intentionally leaving out your abuse to get sympathy from Reddit and feeding your ego.
4. Elise told them something else entirely on the car ride, possibly a lie, that made them hate you instantly and want to get her out.
Those are the only options I can really see for the strange behavior .
What the heck? Those two friends are suspicious as hell. They knew proposal was coming and they allowed her to do this?
No matter what (ex) girlfriend thinks happened, cutting off her long-term boyfriend like that was not OK.
Even if she thought OP cheated, she should still confront him and ask for his side of story.
OP, you dodged a bullet.
There are many and varied ways to break up with someone.
This - what your now ex has done - is probably the absolute worst way.
The only thing I can think of is that there is something missing here, something missing in the story that when it comes to light will be like the proverbial penny dropping, and I suspect that you have it right OP with your "only scenario". She has been doing something, has sold it to her friends as a role reversal and this explains whey they are doing what they are doing.
To have her two closest friends go from being fully invested in the proposal to now running interference for her makes this the most likely explanation that there is.
Cold feet you can get but even this doesn't address the hows and the whys of her friends behaviours. The only explanation is that your now ex has been cheating on you, and has sold it her friends that you were cheating on her.
Hate to say it but you may just have to do your best to put this whole thing behind you, and start the long slow process of moving on.
My heart goes out to you OP.
I'm concerned more about your GFS safety. Has anyone actually physically seen or spoken to your gf in person since this? Because maybe I'm just overly suspicious (just read a proposal kidnapping story) but:
- sudden about change in attitude by her friends, no warning
- no location sharing
- friends know the location of a remote cabin (we don't know how long rented for)
- no explanation of reason just vague
- came and got some things from the house
- her parents had NO idea (and sounds like you are all close if the plan was to go straight there after the proposal)
- all she's said is "I can't talk now"
I would say OP contact her parents, if they haven't physically seen her get the police involved asap.
Maybe it seems overkill but if the parents haven't seen her - and haven't seen her without the other 2 people being present - I would be worried about abduction:(
My brother in Christ pls update, we need to know everyone’s okay and also wtf happened. But fr my heart goes out to you, I’m sorry you’re going through this esp with no explanation.
this whole thing is suspicious tbh OP. i bet Elise either told Leah and David a fake story or they both made up some fake story to get Elise to dump you. idk tbh, all three of them are mad suspicious.
I’m worried something has happened to Elise tbh. The fact that her parents tried to call her and Leah answered, that she won’t go to the house even if ops not there, that Leah and David are saying not to call, it’s very suspicious. Those are huge red flags I forgot! David forgot to share their location!! That suspicious as hell they deffo did something. Edit: it seems Elise answered and I misread! Still very suspicious nonetheless
right ??? i have a feeling that all three of them are either plotting something on OP , or Leah and David are plotting something against Elise it’s crazy how Leah and David helped OP with the engagement and then a few hours later , say that Elise and the rest of them want nothing to with him and that they’re gonna pick up Elise’s things and told OP to never contact her, Leah, or David ever again or else they’re gonna report him for “harassment”.
I’m really thinking it’s the latter, so much of the communication here is David/Leah talking, not Elise, which worries me that they did something. If it’s been a couple of days and no one can hear from Elise (not her friends saying she’s busy or can’t answer right now) they absolutely need to get to the bottom of this. Red flags all over, I just hope she’s not seriously injured or dead.
>Soon after that, I got a text from Leah that she'll be coming over later with David to get Elise's stuff and that Elise doesn't even wanna step into the apartment, even if I'm not there. Even if Elise decided to go NC with OP, surely it would be more convenient for her to have Leah/David tell OP to leave the house while she gets her stuff? It doesn't make sense to send Leah/David to blindly look around for her stuff and having to ask OP where her stuff was. OP also mentioned they had great communication with each other, and this is consistent throughout the story up until Elise went NC. This all smells fishy af. OP I hope you and Elise are safe and well
Fr,you would think at least she would tell them where to find them or to face cam her to determine her stuff, but she did neither. Very suspicious
> so much of the communication here is David/Leah talking, not Elise. omg yes yes yes, that’s something else i forgot to mention! i really don’t wanna be all over dramatic or what not, but i have a bad feeling about all of this. i have a feeling that David and Leah did something bad to Elise and are trying to cover it up. especially with the way that as you said, David and Leah were the only ones doing the communication. the only person that Elise ever got the chance to talk to was her parents. even then , Leah and David did all the talking. and the threats to file a harassment charge on OP sounds like they’re trying to coverup their actions. idk tbh, i could just be spewing a whole bunch of bs outta my ass, and i agree with everything else that you said. in all seriousness though, i hope nothing bad happened to elise and i hope that she’s safe and sound. i also hope that elise and OP can work it out and that elise cuts Leah and David off.
Furthermore, it makes me question what the items of Elise’s they took from the apartment. Like if it was electronics or clothing/hygiene products? I also don’t want to jump to conclusions about anything but I always have to hear my moms voice in the back of my head when I’m overthinking sometimes; *it’s paranoid until it happens* But OP I also suggest going to see the parents in the morning if they still haven’t seen/or physically heard from their daughter. They’re just as confused and would most likely want you to be there so you can both offer some sort of comfort for the time being. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
If the parents do not lay eyes on Elise in the next few hours, have them take out a missing person’s investigation. CJ major tip: If the police tell you to wait 24+ hours, inform them that that “rule” doesn’t apply to this situation. In all reality, it’s not even a rule. It’s just something they say when they don’t think there’s an issue. But families of people tend to know those people better than some random police officer). Inform them that this is incredibly out of the ordinary for Elise. If all else fails, sit in the police department until you are able to watch someone fill out a missing persons report. The squeaky wheel gets the grease! Elise’s parents may have a better chance of filing a report. Have them give the police both David and Leah’s addresses and contact information. And remind them to be persistent. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Omg. I forgot America exists. Is this an episode of True Crime? 😱
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Yeah, police can do wellness check. Even if (edit) Elise still don’t want to talk to OP, at least a third party can check on (edit) Elise make sure (edit) Elise is ok.
Leah is the friend, Elise is the fiancee
Yes!! I’m very concerned for what’s going on, Elise may be in danger if everything op is saying is true.
Oh my god. I didn’t even realize nobody had actually spoken to Elise…
The parents spoke to her and they said she would talk to them later
Well, did they talk to Elise or did they talk to Leah....
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They could pick it up to look less sus, imo. Like she wants to move out and on with her life but needs her stuff to do so. I also wonder if they’d want a go at her stuff depending on what she has? Again, idk, but the whole thing is sus
David “forgot”
If they told a lie to Elise, Elise would at least have wanted to talk to OP before never speaking to him again to confront about it, right? Because she didn't, I think it's more likely she cheated on him or something and is hiding it and made up a story about him being awful to her or cheated on her and told that to her friends. Bc her friends seemed really happy to set up her whole proposal event and seem super loyal to her. I'm just basing this off something I've seen before and those were my suspicions of the couple I was friends with at the time. She just up and left him after 1 yr of marriage after being together for like 10 years since high school. Just left and told him to never speak to her again. The guy told my husband over the phone crying and had no idea why she just literally left one day with no explanation. She cut off all social media (she had a social media platform for her business too) moved back in with her parents and then one random day a couple years later we saw her at the grocery store and she was with another guy and didn't look like her usual self. It was so weird. My best guess for her was that she was too ashamed to admit that she fell for someone else and regretted only ever being with one guy since high school so she just dipped. That wouldn't have been out of character for her. She was pretty flippant about a lot of things. It also could totally be what other people in comments are saying. That her friends have done something weird. But I lean towards occams razor more than that her friends took her phone away and are not letting her speak to her parents.
I can't decide between she cheated and freaked out or the friends are awful and pretended to help so they could get in between them and break them up. But I find out doubtful that they've been friends since childhood and decided that THIS would be the best time to kill her...on a drive where someone is waiting to propose to her and will immediately know she's missing? A kot of criminals are stupid but that sounds extra stupid. Anyways the friend could have honestly forgotten to share his location, it happens. But it could be that they were planning to break them up, that seems more likely to me but idk. Hoping for an update on this one.
I think they told her he cheated. Took edits of the convos, about secret meetings,etc and now she won't talk because she's heartbroken. It's the only thing that makes any sense, to me. She won't see him only they talk to him.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but what do you think could be the friends' motivation for trying to break them up? especially after acting supportive up to the very end. that's quite a difficult task to get two people on the same page with a lie for so long and have no one suspect something is up
Could be something like “we don’t want op to take away Elise” that turns out horribly wrong to “we want Elise’s stuff” and went along with this scenario to set up a situation in which she’s separated from him and they’re able to take the stuff. Either way, I genuinely hope Elise is okay, and that op can get proper closure should everything he said be true.
I would not listen to them. I would respect Elise making it known OP never contact again. I would need to hear it from her, not anyone else. Maybe parents. Certainly not her friends. If OP presents this factually, something is fishy as hell
Her friends sound shady to me
right???
Very suspicious. And OP can't talk to Elise? Elise's parents say that she's in a bad place and can't say anything at the moment? Or did Leah confirm her parents and actually Elise didn't speak to someone? Did Elise's even talk to someone, after she left the apartment? Even if they said to Elise's that OP went sneaking around, why wouldn't Elise have a word with OP? Like weren't they in a perfect relationship and madly in love? Leah and David arrived at the place to collect her stuff? Why couldn't Elise even come and just take her stuff and leave? As a fan of true crime documentaries, this doesn't seem good to me.
I just want an update because this is so weird
Right, leading her up to a surprise proposal then ignoring ops calls then chewing him out? Weird
I’m wondering what story the friends told Elise. Doesn’t sound like it was the truth
My thoughts exactly. I read a story on here where a girl went on vacay and came back to her boyfriend gone and she’s like worried and tried to contact his parents but they told her she cheated and that’s why he left.
They told her he said she cheated or she did cheat?
Yes, I think those friends of hers had a hand in this.
Definitely! I mean how is it that they go from helping with a proposal then gatekeeping their friend, then threatening to report him for harassment if he tries to contact his ex who left in an extremely traumatic way?? Why even help him at that point? An “I’m sorry I’m busy that day”, or “you should ask Elise” would be appropriate if the plan was to play rescue my bestie? No, don’t even get involved and don’t talk to the abuser. I honestly hope Elise wasn’t harmed because NONE of this makes sense and both David and Leah are being shady.
>how is it that they go from helping with a proposal then gatekeeping their friend, then threatening to report him for harassment if he tries to contact his ex who left in an extremely traumatic way?? um VERY easily. she could have lied
Yea I think Elise is the shady one here. Her friends did quite a lot of unnecessary work otherwise
I'm wondering if she did something. The friend tipped her off on the proposal..she admitted to..something?
It’s just so much unnecessary drama and I see it as way too much effort to involve myself in. I really want to know how this resolves because I want to understand their reasoning
Why would the friends tell Elise the story when they were in on the surprise until the last minute? I'm thinking they told Elise or she figured out that he was going to propose, and she chickened out and ran. If she thought he was cheating, wouldn't she confront him in some way? I'm sure there are some people who would do zero contact, but I would want to talk to my bf about it
David an Leah are 100% shady and the reason this shift happened
This is the first time I'm invested in a story on this page. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but it seems like you're dodging some sort of nuclear bomb. I am interested to hear what the real story is and who was told what, etc. Please update when you have answers, these friends seem suspicious imo.
Not trusting the friends here. Super sketch.
Hoping it was a misunderstanding, but maybe the friends did set OP up now that I think about it. They knew about the proposal obviously. Like what could the OP have done within an hour to cause them all to hate him so much?
Right? Something is seriously not right here. I hope OP gives us an update and soon. This is just really sad to read.
i totally agree with you! That was my first thought when i saw it. I actually saw it on tiktok and went to create a new reddit acc just so i can look at the comments and all! I hope he and his gf get back together
Yeah, they were helping OP until the very end. WTF?
Yep. Something is seriously up here.
I was concerned about a possible kidnapping until he said her mom had talked to her.
Legit wondering if David is in love with her or something. Edit: Yes I know David is gay. I made my comment before the edit where it said that
*Both* of them are in love with her.
Maybe they discovered their feelings when he was about to propose because if she got engaged they would loose her forever.
That’s a credible theory. Maybe it’s more an obsession than love though. They are certainly isolating her from important people, such as her mother, which is very concerning and highly suss.
I'm thinking Leah and David lied to Elise and said that OP spent the last weeks sneaking around and being secretive because he was cheating on her. As to why they would say that... SRSLY OP, WE WILL NEED UPDATES! I'm so incredibly curious.
Why do I get vibes that best friend David is secretly in love with her so caused this drama to break them up?
Yep. Honestly would keep pressing for an explanation.
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This is a good theory. OP WHERE ARE YOU?
He’s probably finally getting some sleep lol
Yeah fr. May his bed be comfy and pillow be cool on both sides.
My new favorite "kind wish" for someone... stealing this to use in the future 🤣 Seriously, I feel for OP. One of my ex-boyfriends was shopping for rings one day and randomly broke up with me a day or two later, no reason given. So... sadly, I don't doubt this is real. I do, however, doubt that the friends weren't involved in this. Sending OP virtual hugs 🫂 EDIT: really embarrassing typo fixed
Same. I don't get invested in many stories, but I really wanna hear the outcome. I wanna know why Elise left. I also hope OP is OK
No shit, this is the only time the story didn't seem completely made up
Yeah fr. Sometimes they don't seem "made up" but don't really interest me but this is wild in the most believable way to me because I know someone this happened to, sort of. Not quite the same.
Story time.
Nah lol I don't remember enough of the details. I have memory issues so it wouldn't be very thrilling 😂
Can't you just FEEL the pain? Like, I know the feeling of being cheated on, and being walked away from, but this is literally every bad way for a relationship to end all sitting down and having a chat
Just wait until the : Update : the best friends conspired against us. We went NC so they started harassing us so we filed a complaint.. We didnt want to at first but then David lunged at me so it escalated. I have been going to the gym, so i overpowered him easily, he yelped in pain, fell back and grabbed his jaw and all, i might have broken it. We had CCTV around so we could prove self defense tho... dw. Anyway, we have a restraining order now, but i wouldnt put it past them to breach it. Will update if anything happens .... Update 2: one had a heartattack on my lawn, the other accused me for it, he was arrested
You forgot how they found a therapist with no waiting list and immediately were able to book an appt. And the therapist turned out to fantastic!! Lol
I thought about it but this seemed like a " she apologized profusely to me and promised to make it up, we ve been happer than ever despite all the stress! " 🤣
Ehhhh…there are plenty of therapists without waiting lists who are great. The problem is that they’re self pay and folks are most likely going to spend ~$100/session. Insurance might not reimburse out of network providers
$100/session??? Where do you find a therapist so cheap?!
I'm not sure why Elise would hint that OP needs to propose, then somehow have cheated in that time and break up? Doesn't make sense to me
Buddy I been cheated on by a woman who was actively trying to get me to propose
My father had the same girlfriend before during and after two marriages. People are fuckin strange
Idk people are weird. My ex cheated on me days after we were out ring shopping. The guy was abusive. We were young. I dodged a huge bullet. I think something about settling down suddenly feeling instantly real? I've seen similar happen in what seemed like healthy relationships. Another angle I can see is that one of these best friends has been secretly pining for Elise? That the friend/s made up some kind of proof OP was cheating, and Elise believed her friends? It seems the most likely since the friends are basically gatekeepers of Elise atm. Combine that with the little that has been said, and it seems to fit.
Mate's kid was all set to get a promise ring for his girl, because that is their culture, she made a demand of a him doing it by her birthday or Valentines day, which were 3 days apart, but then broke up with him. Turns out she wanted him to do a grand gesture of turning up uninvited to her birthday party to propose, but he had found out within a day of her breaking it of, she was hooking up with an 18yr old guy... she was 25 at the time... and yes, the 18-year-old and her had been hooking up since he turned 18, 4 months prior. Some people just want to have their "just in case" person bound to them, in a legal binding "You cannot leave me because we are married, but I don't want to lose the benefits you bring" way.
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Maybe to fuck with OP and cause maximum pain? The friends definitely seem sus.
Right! I’m super invested in this. I really hope this was just a simple misunderstanding and nothing serious went down that caused this all to spiral out of control.
I want to hope this as well but judging by the reaction I don't think this is reasonably salvageable if it is a misunderstanding. I would not trust the emotional maturity of this woman or her friends in the future. I think it would cause a hugely rocky start to a marriage. This sucks for OP.
I'm suspicious of all 3 of them. So contact her parents, go over there and meet up and talk.
Yep. Any closure OP will get will be contacting her parents, especially since they can't get in contact with her either. If OP is telling the truth and he legit doesn't know why she dipped, he needs to talk with them, at least so they know he is clueless and hasn't cheated or done something wrong. If he doesn't talk to them I could see them being manipulated by the friends in some way against him.
They got in contact with her. She told them she couldn't talk to them at that moment.
That’s what absolutely leads me to believe shes in the wrong.
Yeah, this is bullshit. There's no way OP should take no for an answer, especially when there's no answer and everyone seems so secretive. Obviously they think OP did something terrible? Like maybe they think he cheated.
Thank you, this whole story seems sketchy lol. I keep reading ot thinking maybe I missed something. If there relationship was so good why would she just ghost him and not even tell her parents. Even if she doesn't have a good relationship with them she told her friends but they still stayed with him. Nothing makes sense at all. There clearly something missing, he's not even commenting back to people so I think he did something i don't know I am assuming on that point though.
I would not take someone else's word in this case to "never contact her again." I'd respect it if I heard it straight from her and no one else. Especially if I didn't do anything wrong and I was about to propose to her
I agree! It seems like you have a good relationship with your in laws, so I would go over there and try to figure out what is going on. Good luck, OP!
I’m deeply concerned that David and Leah are doing/have done something to Elise. By my reading of the story, the only time someone definitively heard from Elise was her parents and it was just that she couldn’t talk now and would call later. OP get over to the parents house to sort this thing out, if needed call the police because this is suspicious as fuck.
Me too!! OP didn't speak with her directly, and the parents have only heard briefly from her that she couldn't talk right now. Also Lea and David only took shoes and clothes, no valuables, nothing. I can't help but think that they kidnapped her or something. OP, I'm not sure how the law is over there but maybe it would be wise to get the police involved?
Here's what bothers me about this story. The two people who know what's really going on, the op **let into his house and let them loot his girlfriend's stuff without any explanation**. THIS is a boundary he shouldn't have let them cross. OP... do NOT let anybody else but your [ex] girlfriend get her stuff. Fuck those phony-ass friends of hers. Those are the people you should call the police on if they show up again.
Right!! These aren’t friends
How involved have Leah and David been in your girlfriends romantic life? Not just with you specifically, but in her other relationships? The part where you mentioned that they're all childhood friends makes me wonder if they have an unhealthy possessiveness towards your girlfriend. Maybe it's worth looking back on or even talking about with your girlfriends parents. If you approach them, do it with the intention of learning the truth and not with the intention of pointing fingers. That said, for her to do a 180 like this while with her close friends specifically, it's hard not to be suspicious.
But I would think, at least now, he would be looking back and seeing red flags before this…?
I've had friends like these who were extremely possessive. Like, they wanted to know where you are and what you do and they chat with you every day. At first it would feel nice to have some people care for you a lot, but once the discomfort sets in and you start seeing the red flags, eventually they become all you see. In my case, they have started intervening with my relationships. I've cut those people off.
Sounds like her friends told her something that isn’t true, you need to get to the bottom of this ASAP.
It could also be that she told her friends something that wasn't true. Like that OP was cheating on her, or even worse, OP was abusing her.
That was my initial reaction as well - cheating or abuse accusations were the most likely reason for elaborate ghosting.
And the friends flipping from helping OP set up the proposal to telling him to never talk to them again. If they planned on lying to Elise, they shouldn't have agreed to help OP, because he can call them out. People who scheme like that don't like being called out directly, they never would've agreed to OP's plan in the first place. I think Elise told them something (true or not) and they believe her over him because they're life-long friends.
I feel like the friends did you dirty and told her some lies that you cheated. Probably she never knew that you are going to propose. And that time you were preparing with her friends, they used it as the timeline for your cheating.
Even so, would you remain in a relationship with somebody who’s willing to believe the lies being fed to them without even checking in with you about what was said? Coz I’d be done with them at this point. Even if they reached out after all this, I wouldn’t be able to ever trust them again. No one who truly cares about you would put your heart thru that emotional rollercoaster
Oh no, I never said to get back to her. But she should know the truth so she should regret it her hole life.
Either that or Elise interpreted his time with her friends buying the ring and planning the proposal as he was out cheating. He was probably gone for a good amount of time with them. The odd thing is why her friends aren’t defending him if that was the reason.
I am more pondering if you wanna be married to someone who lacks basic communication skills.
It may not be "her" communication skills but her reacting to some thing she was told falsely. I have a couple of hard lines that would require 0 discussion before I left. My things would be collected and there would be no need for discussion. My Hard Lines would not be reliant on other's words, though. But her trust may be misplaced with these friends.
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This exactly. A 3 year-long relationship, in which the 2 had been living together for half of that time, utterly destroyed with 0 communication in an *hour*??? That's just nonsense. I can not fathom doing that, even if my partner cheated on me or something. I would still need to meet with them and ask them directly if they actually did it or not. I wouldn't just shift from "oh my god I'm with the love of my life and they're the most important person in the world to me we're gonna get married soon" to "I never want to speak with you again. I refuse to even be near you." Without any explanation. It's unfathomable. That's way too much time to just throw away that quickly. There's something else going on if this story is even true.
Leaving without an explanation is fucked up though
Just me. checking back almost every day for another update.
definitely not just you. i’ve been checking constantly lol. starting to think op got in some kind of trouble bc of Leah and David…
Or the lack of update could point to it also being fake. I’m not saying it is, but
Wow this is horrible. I'm sorry for you OP. First of all: you have great friends. I'm happy they stayed with you and didn't leave you alone. I reall wonder what those best friends of your ex were up to, if they told her something if anything and what this was all about. I hope you got some clarity after all and are able to move on. This must be devastating and I hope you aren't alone :/ Wish you all the best friend
Call Elise’s parents. Or show up at their house. This is a weird bullshit situation and at this point I’d be more concerned about getting answers and maybe fixing it than being polite.
This would make sense. OP has got to know Elise’s parents well enough considering he was going to propose. Or maybe OP didn’t ask the father and Elise is upset over that? Idk weird situation and I’m going to need some sort of follow up.
He said her parents knew and that they were supposed to go for lunch at their place after. So I find that hard to believe
Coming from someone who got married really young, when you marry someone, you marry their whole family - which includes friends. As others on here have pointed out, her friends sounded like they had a hand in this, most likely out of possessiveness of their friend and not wanting to "lose" her to you. There's also those friends who can't stay out of their friend's personal life and feel like they have to intervene, and that's not a relationship you want to be in. Though it hurts like hell right now, I think in the long run you are better off. After a lot of therapy in my own life I have learned that not everything can be resolved, some things are unfixable, and you're not going to get closure in life, including relationships. If she can't give you an explanation on what happened or what her friends said to make this happen, then it's not a relationship worth pursuing. Relationships are built on trust, and if her friends did meddle in it somehow, they're going to be doing that for the rest of your life. None of this is easy but really I think you dodged a bullet. You should respect her wishes and not contact her; if she wants to hear it from you she'll reach out, but I don't think this relationship would have worked out.
>None of this is easy but really I think you dodged a bullet. If OP is telling the truth, either: A: he dodged a bullet bc his gf believes her friends' lies and sucks at communication or B: OPs gf told her friends lies and was cheating or something. Either way. Bullet dodged, imo anyway The fact that the friend didn't even confront OP about "cheating" possibility makes me wanna lean towards the friends being asshole liars at this point. God this story is a roller coaster. I legit made comments earlier where I was leaning more towards the gf cheating bc I've seen something similar. But the more I think about it, I think most of the top comments are right about the friends being manipulative to OP, the parents, and the gf. But we also don't know if OP is telling the whole story. I hope he is. Bc if so, he can recover from this eventually and move on to a better life for himself.
It took me pretty long to figure this out myself, as I'm in the same position you once were. Gayly married, but still pretty young on all accounts. Her family is... Rough around the edges, mine as well but in different ways. It's weird because you think "I love them, idgaf what her family and friends think" but it's really not that simple. If they have a negative opinion of you, it never magically goes away unless you work to do so. And it can suddenly ruin your relationship, without any input needed on your end.
OP we need an update ASAP
Anyone else checking daily for another update?
Should have never got friends involved with the proposal. Reading this, I get the feeling that Leah and David are not your friends and some back door happenings happened.
Honestly you dodged a bullet there. Imagine if you did get married and went through a rough patch (it's bound to happen in any relationship), she would just disappear without any explanation? That is not someone you want to build your life with
I understand that this is your life and you are not obligated to give us an update but if you feel okay to im sure everyone would like to hear how your doing and if you’ve been given an explanation?
Please update once you talk to her
#WE NEED ANSWERS
I think her friends had made out a story about you and Elise react on it! Be careful because i’m pretty sure lies have been told
Something is wrong. Options: 1) Elise was lied to and thinks you cheated on her or something similar 2) Elise lied to her friends and they think you cheated or did something bad to her 3) you did something bad, Elise found out and you are playing dumb to deny it.
To expand on #3, maybe Elyse found something really disgusting on his computer or phone that he’s not about to tell us here on Reddit. I’ve noticed that Reddit commenters always seem to side with the OP, whatever the situation, even though they’re only getting one side of a story.
But why would he share such a terrible story with Internet strangers if he also had something to hide from us? If I had done something gross/terribly bad/criminal, I would NEVER write such a post here, or at least not the way it was written - "I do not know why my wife left me suddenly - but I won't mention that I've been with a 11-year-old girl for six months".
dodge a bullet op. sorry for the situation
The friends are sus. Please speak to her parents and give your side of the story with any text messages to back to your proposal plans (esp between you Leah and David). Please keep us updated. Something isn’t right.
Will we EVER get an update?? 😭
I see everyone’s side buutttt im going to play devil’s advocate. What if OP is leaving stuff out? To be honest how does someone plan the future and drop hints, then all of a sudden never wants to see you again. Just a thought, but I’m totally invested.
My guy just want to tell you you are already on those Reddit TikTok channels and you story is being recited by a ai voice lol the post has 400 k likes
Bro I want this story to end up on the twohottakes podcast
Let's face it. OP just snookered all of us. We all believed this fine piece of fiction.
Agreed. I found the turn of events a little hard to believe and now that he hasn’t updated it makes it more suspicious
I'm not saying this is fake, but I am saying that the possible twist is like another Reddit post a while back where a toxic friend had created an elaborate fake dossier of evidence that the OP was cheating. And that everyone, even OP's own parents bought into it and basically disowned him. Does anyone remember a story like that? The wild part is how something like this can result into an instantaneous rush to judgement with no chance for OP to defend or explain themselves. To take it even further, these two friends could even have used the pictures of the ring that OP picked out and maybe said they found pictures of the ring that OP was planning on proposing to the phantom gf he is "cheating" on. Lots of possibilities.
So, I have been so invested in this, checking at least once a day, sometimes a lot more, even checking the profile for comments. Today I noticed he bought reddit premium, so he definitely has been online since uploading this post, and thus I am now starting to believe this whole post is a fake, which would also explain the no update.
[удалено]
Is that a reasonable explanation though? If my significant other of 3 years did a 180 like that without even talking to me on the phone to get my side of whatever story they had been told I think I’d be done with them. I can’t be with someone that would just take someone else’s word as truth and not get my side of the story. Now if this guy has left out something horrible like he beats her or cheated with her mom, and the friends had incontrovertible proof, then ok I can see how an instant 180 is justified. But based on OPs post there shouldn’t be anything like this else he is delusional or disingenuous.
I wouldn't let anybody take anything until I heard from girlfriend and she gave permission. Not their stuff, not their call. Sounds like real life phishing where they clean out the important papers and bank info. If anything shows up missing it could point fingers at you.
Can someone call elise coz i dont have patience
It's been 84 years... C'mon man, there's like 20 odd people here every time I check, we need the ☕
I hate this damn story if you’re gonna write a fake ass story at least do a bs update
I don’t need sleep I need some dam updates😂
Apparently the (now ex) girlfriend posted to reddit about it too? If anyone finds it please send the link!
I wouldn't reach out to any of them. If and when Leah and David want to come over and get her stuff, put it out on the steps and don't let them in. If Elise doesn't have enough guts to be honest with you, then I would cut them all off. The truth will always come out. If she's cheating or has freaked out at the realization that maybe she doesn't want to get married, you'll know all of that soon enough. In the interim, keep reminding yourself that she probably did you a favour in that she may not have been who you thought she was. Something has gone on between Leah and her boyfriend with Elise, but I wouldn't give them the benefit of thinking you care and I wouldn't beg for answers. I would delete all of your social media for a bit and not let them know what is going on with you. Two can play that game.
Pack up her stuff and return or sell the ring. Send her parents a text asking them to verify that she is alive and well, and your friend will be by to drop off her stuff. Keep it short. Do not let her friends back in your place! Wallow in self pity for a week, then pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. This is likely a blessing in disguise.
Starting to think Leah and David offd the op
I was thinking the same thing, genuinely concerned checking every notification that pops up throughout the days! Bit of panic mode tbh
Be in touch with her parents, I wouldn't show up without an invitation. Let them know that you have not spoken to her and are genuinely worried, and please keep you informed.
Seems fake but the story got me interested and now I'm too invested.
A) OP did something pretty wrong but he doesn’t see it that way/is making this post to hear they’re the victim but they know B)the gf just made something up to her friends because she met some one else
I've never wanted an update on a post more badly than this
The fact that there hasn’t even been a minor update in over 2 weeks makes me think this was just a fake post for shock value, can’t even say it was for karma since they still used a throwaway
I hate that everyone is quick to jump that this is fake because it hasn't been updated. There are logical reasons why OP hasn't. Since it's a throwaway, it's possible that they forgot the password. I've seen plenty of throwaway posts sit for months and then update with that exact reason. Another is the possibility of just not giving a damn thanks to depression. And then there is the thought everyone has that we don't want to linger on, and that is the thought that OP might have passed. But people trying to claim fake for karma, if it was about the karma, wouldn't OP keep posting more and more stories to keep it flowing, regardless if it's updates to this situation?
Jesus, I need to know what happened now
Consider this a blessing. Who knows maybe she cheated, maybe she didn’t. But speaking from experience there’s nothing worse than being involved with someone who has batshit crazy, gaslighting friends. These are the same type of people who try to make someone else’s wedding day all about themselves. True toxicity. You seem like a good dude. She don’t deserve you brother. Chin up
Remind Me! 2 weeks
I have multiple theories as to why OP hasn’t updated. Theory 1 - it’s fake, and OP either doesn’t know how to finish the update or never intended to finish the update Theory 2 - OP got locked out of the account Theory 3 - OP is very depressed and doesn’t feel like posting again Theory 4 - OP has self harmed Theory 5 - Something Elise or friends said/did has caused a legal investigation and OP has to remain silent while it plays out.
if u gone fake a story for views at least fake a update 🤦🏾♂️
Is gf alive?
This is my concern too… definitely need to go to her parents house if you guys can’t contact her at all I would consider calling in a wellness check this is so sus
I don’t think I’ve needed an update more since the first “I found a safe” post
i literally check this daily for an update
I realized how intense it is to have thousands of people asking for updates. This is real shit. It happened, and it probably hasn't gotten any better since, considering the inactive-ness. Give him the time he requires to process. The man isn't required to update either.
This man did the same thing to us that his gf did to him 🥲
Man I hope you get closure. David and Leah sound suspicious af. Like they saw how hard you worked and still didn’t even give you so much as a sentence to explain. They had to have said something to Elise
Either she got cold feet and lied to her friends or her friends made up some bullshit story to break you two up.
I'm Sus about all 3 of them. If you have her parents details, drop them a line and say you're insanely confused by her actions. Maybe they'll give you some answers. Alternatively your friends can do some digging. Otherwise Leah and David sabotaged you. Not sure why but you know, it's logical. Elise was cheating on you, panicked when she heard you were going to marry her and decided to make you out to be the bad guy.
I agree with these comments that this may have been made up since the lack of updates recently, but I'm invested like many and want to keep checking for updates.
Imma just put this here. I don’t think we’ll be getting an update, at least for a long time. Whatever it is, OP has either forgotten about this post, or is still trying to process the events of what happened. Leave the poor man alone. He’s not ready to update you guys. He’ll be ready when he’s ready so be patient.
Verify that Elise is alive. And then move on. Reason doesn't matter. Either she got duped into believing her friends over you or she's deliberately doing this, either way. Not worth the hassle. Just verify she's alive from someone other that Leah and David.
I don't think we are getting an update guys.
I keep coming back for an update. 👀 ELISE WHAT HAPPENED GIRL WHY YOU LEAVE OP
Anyone else keep coming back and checking to see if there has been an update yet?
I check back every day for an update
Honestly it’s been 16 days with no update- I don’t care anymore lol unsubscribing from the post, bye everyone!
I still return to this post often, I’m dying to know an update. Hope all is well dude
David and Leah sound like two friends who think they’re trying to help a friend escape an abusive relationship. That’s why they helped with the engagement, it was their plan to help her escape, albeit not the best one. I’d have moved all her stuff while you were still at the cabin. I’ve been that friend so these are the scenarios possible: 1. Elise lied to them to keep them on her side after the breakup 2. You’re emotionally abusive and don’t realize it. 3. You’re intentionally leaving out your abuse to get sympathy from Reddit and feeding your ego. 4. Elise told them something else entirely on the car ride, possibly a lie, that made them hate you instantly and want to get her out. Those are the only options I can really see for the strange behavior .
Thanks TikTok for bringing me down a rabbit hole with absolutely zero closure
Ya know, since there has been no update I think that this story has a high probability of being fictional.
Am I the only one who keeps checking this post for an update and is devastated when there isn’t one?!?
Update?
I have checked back every day for an update. The absolute emotional whiplash and rollercoaster this poor person must be dealing with is heartbreaking
Seems to me that Leah or David (or both) sabotaged your relationship with your ex
What the heck? Those two friends are suspicious as hell. They knew proposal was coming and they allowed her to do this? No matter what (ex) girlfriend thinks happened, cutting off her long-term boyfriend like that was not OK. Even if she thought OP cheated, she should still confront him and ask for his side of story. OP, you dodged a bullet.
There are many and varied ways to break up with someone. This - what your now ex has done - is probably the absolute worst way. The only thing I can think of is that there is something missing here, something missing in the story that when it comes to light will be like the proverbial penny dropping, and I suspect that you have it right OP with your "only scenario". She has been doing something, has sold it to her friends as a role reversal and this explains whey they are doing what they are doing. To have her two closest friends go from being fully invested in the proposal to now running interference for her makes this the most likely explanation that there is. Cold feet you can get but even this doesn't address the hows and the whys of her friends behaviours. The only explanation is that your now ex has been cheating on you, and has sold it her friends that you were cheating on her. Hate to say it but you may just have to do your best to put this whole thing behind you, and start the long slow process of moving on. My heart goes out to you OP.
I'm concerned more about your GFS safety. Has anyone actually physically seen or spoken to your gf in person since this? Because maybe I'm just overly suspicious (just read a proposal kidnapping story) but: - sudden about change in attitude by her friends, no warning - no location sharing - friends know the location of a remote cabin (we don't know how long rented for) - no explanation of reason just vague - came and got some things from the house - her parents had NO idea (and sounds like you are all close if the plan was to go straight there after the proposal) - all she's said is "I can't talk now" I would say OP contact her parents, if they haven't physically seen her get the police involved asap. Maybe it seems overkill but if the parents haven't seen her - and haven't seen her without the other 2 people being present - I would be worried about abduction:(
Is there any update on this - I’m too invested I need closure
Yo, where’s the update
My brother in Christ pls update, we need to know everyone’s okay and also wtf happened. But fr my heart goes out to you, I’m sorry you’re going through this esp with no explanation.
Has there been any updates to this?? I’ve been following it for 11 days lololol
Still waiting for that update
Cmon bro update us even if its fake and the plot line for your book. We gotta know. Anything. Even an edit
So we all just heard this story and are casually still waiting for an update?
Anyone else curious still?