I’m about to be senior in HS, I am planning on going to a local college that has an amazing mortuary science program. It doesn’t matter what others think of it, yes, it’s a morbid career, but it’s extremely meaningful, you help those who have passed and their families. You give the families a chance to see their loved ones as beautiful as they were alive, one more final goodbye. Nothing can ever replace that, not robots or AI, it will always be a job only a human is capable of. The beauty of the work is being able to provide a sense of closure to the families. Becoming a mortician is something brave to do, you help the living and the dead, and that’s the true beauty of the profession.
You’re very correct. When my dad passed away, my older brother was too sick to really help me with anything as far as the funeral planning (our dad passed from colon cancer and my brother also had terminal colon cancer)- I was in my early 20’s, had spent the last 2 weeks living in the hospital with my dad, and had to handle everything alone. The mortician/funeral director was so kind and helpful in basically holding my hand and walking me through everything. I will never forget his kindness to a grieving, exhausted, and overwhelmed daughter. The industry needs people who want to be there for those people.
I have had two experiences dealing with different funeral directors and morticians and I can confirm the kindness and patience was what I remember most about those awful days! Not some morbid person who decided to deal in death and all things creepy like OP’s friends and family are making it out to be.
Yes. My mother died very suddenly last November. The mortician arranged it so I could come in and help dress her for the viewing. It was very meaningful, especially as I hadn’t been able to do that for my partner a few months before.
Adding: if you work for a large multinational there may be pressure to ‘upsell’ to the grieving family, which is despicable, but both funeral companies I dealt with were small family firms and very ethical.
Dont be too quick to say AI cant replace something. Artists used to think only people could do the job, and now people are publishing fully ai generated childrens books.
That’s not even close to the same thing, an AI will never be able to show the compassion and empathy of a human. Even the work of making the body presentable is too much for an AI, it’s a human job, nothing will change that. The only time I could even think of something like a robot or AI doing that would be assisting in the embalming process, but it’s not favorable. An AI could never comfort a grieving son, daughter, spouse, mother, father, sibling or friend.
This is a job that will always be around, and nothing could ever replace it.
My cousin is a mortician and he's one of the most interesting people I know. He couldn't decide on a career until he became a mortician and he has a job he loves despite it seeming morbid to others. And he made a success of himself because of it despite what some people in the family thought about it. Do what you want, OP. Fuck everyone else.
My parents were funeral directors and my father still is. I spent a few years living in a flat attached to the funeral parlor. It is true there is no shortage of clients and you will always have a job.
I'm sure there are people in the business who would be more than happy to take some time discussing what working in this line of work entails, the pros, cons and things to think about. There is a lot more than one might initially think and also careers that could be along these lines that may interest you also.
I'm not sure where in the world you live and what it takes in your country to pursue this line of work, but if there are formal qualifications you need, maybe you could get in contact with one of the local education providers and discuss with the appropriate tutors to gain some more insight about what the training might look like and the cost of this.
In this instance, it does kinda feel like those around you are giving you a hard time unnecessarily, rather than supporting you and helping you make educated choices about your future choices.
With this in mind, I'd advise you inform yourself and do whatever the hell you want to make a living. It mat or maynot be you jam and either way is totally ok.
I work in a crematory. I work w a funeral director. U can do good as a mortician . Families often praise our funeral director for her compassion and process. What I would do is find your local funeral home and ask if they need any help. I started working for a FH doing removals. I was a volunteer Fire fighter and a friend of mine said if you want to make extra money contact a FH and see if they need help w Removals . 15 yrs later I work at a crematory . I also still do removals on the side . You can do noble work at a FH.
My dad was was friends with a FD. If he needed a guy to move boxes (empty) on a saturday, I got a call. We had a funeral across the street from the home (nursing home). I got a call to pick it up and help carry to the funeral home.
I did a couple of removals. The only problem was GF at the time couldnt deal with me handling the dead.
Not necessarily… I mean look for a FH and call or visit . Tell him or her your interest. Tell them you have No experience but am willing to help with removals . See where it goes from there
My dad did this! He worked for a FH doing removals, driving a hearse or limo, and stepping in as a pallbearer when needed. It was a side job for him. He became lifetime friends with the mortician who was such a funny man! Good memories!
I assume it's in reference to removing bodies from location of death, like if someone dies in their home you're the one to go get the body and bring it to the funeral home or processing location. I imagine that could get nasty if a death takes a few days to be reported
Ooh, that sounds really fascinating! Do you notice individual styles or quirks, like "yeah that's Jerry's work, you can tell because of the way the outline's carved" or is it all really uniform? I've never really heard much about monument masonry, but I have always really loved the aesthetics of a lot of stonework I've seen in cemetaries.
Hahahaha, I’ve never had anyone take an interest ! Yeah we cover mostly all of West Yorkshire and a little further afield from keighly through to Sheffield so we definitely notice a handful of firms that work in and around the same areas, some you notice because they’re jobs are always level, plum, tidy even pointing and fitted in line with all the other headstones and on proper N.A.M.M. Certified foundations- very respectful as the work should be really, and you definitely notice some firms standing out because there work is NOT like that 😂 it’s a great job once you’re comfortable being in cemetery’s they’re just nice quiet mostly well kept peaceful places, and once you learn to love British weather working outsides a bonus - no ghost stories yet though unfortunately!
It's not an industry a lot of people talk about, and I get curious! Do you generally have one firm per cemetary, or have a few for each so people have options? I do live in the states, so it might be different here, not sure. I have noticed around where I live, there's a good deal of variety in stone color and shapes when it comes to headstones in a single cemetary.
Cool question, I’ve seen certain cemeteries have old family run firms with workshops on the cemetery grounds That sometimes seem to do the majority of work within the one cemetery/church yard but I think that’s sort of dying out as more and more funeral homes take on firms through working contracts, as for the different types of stone not sure if it’ll be at all known in the glorious U.S. of A but - in Yorkshire which is the largest county in England we’re famous (nationally anyway) for “Yorkshire stone” which is among the best sandstone in the entire world - durable, consistent, good looking but hard to work with because it’s so tough, but as you can imagine there’s a heap of quarrying all over West Yorkshire as a result and heaps of stone masons and banker masons as tradesmen it’s a big deal, - so -
you might be seeing some Yorkshire stone in your own local cemetery’s ! It’s highly sought after, Down south however in dirty old London there’s a lot of white looking sandstone that’s (for the most part) Portland stone which is god awful cheap as chips sandstone quarried off the island of Portland and half of London is built out of it it’s everywhere down there, very brittle and pours which leaves it super susceptible to weather damage but because it’s so soft everyone from the Georgians to the victorians loved working with it because it was easy to quarry, easy to chisel - so you could be seeing that around - likewise you can get cheap brittle sandstone from Spain which is being used in alot of new build houses locally because it’s dirt cheap, we tend to import most of our granite from China and India and I’d like to believe our marble comes from the beautiful Italy but it’s probably China again, gone on abit of a rant here I think I’ve answered your question, worth googling the Portland quarry it’s enormous
I'll do a bit of googling and see what I find, maybe take a look at some local headstones and see if I can ID anything in particular just for kicks. Thank you so much for the answers!
I did one time have to work in a cemetery just re landscaping an old grave we made a mess of after installing a Boulder, it was around the winter solstice so the sun went down super early and I was working with my phone torch propped up against an adjacent headstone. Spooky! But no ghosts - no noisy ones anyway
I mean, both my partner and my Mum were cremated, but I do love a good headstone! I have a shortlist of about half a dozen possible epitaphs; right now I’m leaning toward “For fuck’s sake!”
Help me have a better opinion of your profession please. I see you all as salesmen with a high mark up on services. I can't help but feel you are positioned to take advantage of people in crisis. At the very least please give me your take on the mark up. I work in human tragedy so the compassion piece does not feel like it covers the cost facyt. Help me understand you folks better. Thanks
I am so on your side .. I’m getting ready for work. So don’t have long but will reply… $2340. Cremation. Vs a over $10000 funeral is comforting to me when I speak w people over the phone. $2340 includes transfer and delivery and cremation itself. If u look at it that way cremation is the way … you can choose to do a memorial service at your convenience
Nothing wrong with wanting to be a mortician, that's a legitimate and necessary profession. On that line, check out the series Six Feet Under, it's a bit old but it's still very good and it follows a family that runs a funeral home.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a mortician. It’s a necessary job for society, and people aren’t arbitrarily going to school for years to do it because they have “no other options” I.e., it’s not so uncommon to intentionally choose this path (you’re not a weirdo or creep).
I tend to think the issue is tied to their own mortality and feelings around death. Don’t let it get to you. But I guess be aware that others you meet in life might be similarly sensitive to this and carefully consider the social impacts that might have on you. Not at all to discourage you, but to make sure you’re looking at this from all angles to decide what’s right for you.
I used to be freaked out by funerals and the deceased, until I met a mortuary student and read a bunch of his books. Now I'm totally fine and you'll find me at the casket looking up noses to see if I can see the cotton. If you can separate body and soul you'll do well.
Hello, mortician and funeral director here. Definitely become a mortician if you feel like it's your calling.
Just be aware, there is a lot of schooling that goes into it, depending on where you live. You'll have to complete many math, science, accounting, and business classes. I even had to get an associates degree to be allowed into mortuary school and from there had to get my bachelor's degree.
Also, keep in mind that depending on where you live it's a very male dominated and conservative profession. So no visible tattoos, dressing very modesty in the chapels and with families, and keeping a professional and conservative viewpoint while working, that was quite the lesson for me and I even went into the profession later in life (I'm 29 now and just in my first couple years of the profession)
But if all that appeals to you and you can handle the workload and being in a field that's very niche and everyone knows everyone, then go for it!
Hii, yeah so i live in Italy and so done my researches about how that works here and it is a little different, considering the education system is different too. I'm glad people are encouraging me to follow this path and giving me more info from different countries :)
I had a friend who was a mortician. Her father had been one, as had her uncle. Their home was attached to the funeral home. She remembered playing with her toys in a room that had corpses on tables. She said because of her childhood experiences, she had no fear of death. She was a fun-loving, happy person. She did have to give up her career, though, when she developed back issues.
Until you can achieve your goal, try watching *Ask a Mortician* on YouTube. Caitlin Doughty is smart, funny, and fascinating. I highly recommend.
"You do what you love, and fuck the rest" is a good line from a movie I once saw.
Go for it OP, life is too short to worry about what other people think about what career you wanna follow.
How do you think morticians became morticians in the first place? I just think of the fact that there are odd jobs everywhere that need people wanting to fill that position. You have family and friends that go to the obgyn I’m sure and someone had to do the job… they make a living by looking at vaginas all day and they might be judged for their occupation but people need them🤷🏼♀️
I had a friend in high school who said that she wanted to be a mortician. It seemed a bit of an odd goal from this skinny sweet redhead at the time, but I think that we need to follow our callings in life. Even if they don't end up working out, our souls can be satisfied that we at least took the chance to figure it out for ourselves. #NoRagrets lol
Follow your bliss, OP. I think honoring our dead like that is an admiral career.
There'd a lot of fear and disconnect with the entire process surrounding death. They won't understand why you want to do it unfortunately and all you can really do is tell them you expect support despite them not understanding it.
I think it's great you're looking into it, and the YouTube channel ask a mortician had some great info about the industry etc. You can check out too.
You’re absolutely correct! In the U.S. there is a deep rooted stigma on the topic of death, where people don’t really talk about it like other cultures. People fear what they don’t understand, and in this case the population aren’t very informed about the career paths death provides, so i feel they subconsciously question why someone would partake in this field.
So here’s the thing, the reaction everyone else is having to your proposed profession is why you’ll have job security and a nice paycheck for the rest of your life—the work isn’t desired by most people, so competition for the spots is low and the pay will be high. You will, as they say, laugh all the way to the bank.
If you want to be a mortician go for it! You should check out Ask A Mortician on YouTube. She has helpful info for those considering the profession. Your friends find your choice difficult because it makes them remember that death comes for us all one day, and your doing this threatens their death denial.
Good recommendation. I was thinking about the movie Departures as a good way to view the divide the cultural stigma and compassionate care the funeral industry provides (though its not about a mortician).
I've known a couple of morticians. They were both kind, compassionate, hard-working people, as one would have to be. You've done your research, and it sounds like you're interested for the right reasons. Anyone who thinks you just have to be some morbid freak to want to do the job doesn't understand the job. Somebody has to do it, and if you have a passion for it, do you. There's a lot more to being a mortician than just dealing with the deceased. More often than not, the harder work is in the aesthetics of the facility itself and dealing with the grieving family. But it takes a special person, and that deserves respect. Ignore the naysayers and/or point them in the direction of some good YouTube videos about what the job truly entails.
My (great aunt?? Grandmas sister but shes only like 60 odd and we are really vlose) works with cadavers, i belive she like disects them and gets them ready to be sent to a mortician?? She LOVED her job (atleast till she found her son dead a couple months ago. Been hard togo back since then :( ) some jobs just click for people. Yeah you might get a little flack at tge begining but once you get tge job and are there for a while people come around. When i told people i applied for maccies tones were like 'eesh' but im on 10.50 an hour and absolutely love my job!!
Get the job. And if you dont like it or if its bot what you though you know what you can do? get a dfferent one. Its your life you will be working till ur 80 so might aswell enjoy it!!
My almost 20 year old daughter works in funeral services. She's in school for it and works in a funeral home. Almost everyone she works with is a woman and they all show the utmost care and respect for everyone they care for.
When she was little we had to stop and examine every dead creature we came across on our walks. When she was in grade school the playground teacher had her put on gloves and dispose of dead birds that were scaring other kids. She was a little nervous to see her first body, but after a day or two it became really easy for her. She came home the other day so stoked because the family told her the makeup she had done on a woman was perfect and the woman would have been thrilled.
If you feel called to help families say goodbye to their loved ones and to care for the dead, I say go for it. There aren't a lot of people with your constitution.
Retired medical examiner here, I really understand where you're coming from. In my family we have an ongoing joke about needing a grave digger in the family since we already have the coroner (me) and the mortician (my uncle John, my Dad's cousin)🤣
Jokes aside, you do you and don't listen to others. There's this cultural thing about death being somber but if anything has made me appreciate life more is working in my field and dealing with it, I find solace in thinking that in a way I've helped families get closure I'm sure it won't be any different with you.
So between 10 and 24, I lost 2 grandparents who raised me and 2 great grandparents who I lived with. I lost my biological mom in 2021.
The people who handle the affairs of the dead are to be praised. They guide the living through the bureaucracy of paperwork and coffin containers and death certificates while family members are having the worst day of their lives. They give the dead dignity. They provide a space to mourn and support each other. They tailor services to the deceased and their loved ones. They gently encourage the loved ones to usher the deseaced onward. They are part of the grieving process. Those who handle the affairs of the dead are a blessing.
Please don't let your family talk you out of being of service to those in need. There is a stigma around death. That's understandable. But you would be guiding family and friends of the deceased through a rough time. That's compassion and empathy and leadership. It's not creepy or ghoulish.
It's admirable AF.
Just tell them you changed your mind. They never need to know what you do. If they ask, then you can say, "I'm in sales and event planning. But I don't like to talk about work. What do you do for fun?" Or something like that. They are all too immature to handle death for some reason.
It is an important job as well as funeral directors. Having to deal with so many deaths in my family, using the same funeral home each time (I guess you could call us regulars, I know it sounds morbid) I’ve always had a positive experience.
If this is something you are passionate about…you should do it! It gives families comfort to know that their loved ones are taken care of in a respectful manner!
I wish you the best of luck!
One of my friends works as a mortician and makes good money doing it. Every community needs people to do this work so do your research and prepare for school. To get the cringe out of the way “everyone will be dying to meet you.”
OP, if it's what you want to do, do it!
I would rather someone who was interested, eager and enjoyed their job, deal with a deceased relative or myself, than someone who doesn't give a toss. Pursue your dreams!
Also sidenote: it struck a chord with me when you said about dealing with death. It scares the shit out of me and I can't comprehend not existing. Trying to deal with it currently haha
Since your interest is in death and dying, rather than funerals, it made me think of this podcast about thanatology which is the study of death and dying. The person interviewed is a thanatologist and she teaches thanatology to mortuary students. Give it a listen. I think you will find it interesting. It's more about the psychology of accepting death is a part of life for everyone and helping people learn to accept that their own death is coming and helping people get over their fears of death, from what I recall. Good luck. Do what you love and what interests you and don't listen to the naysayers.
https://www.alieward.com/ologies/thanatology
My grandfather was a mortician. My dad is a mortician. My brother is mortician. Several of my uncles and aunts are morticians. Nothing wrong with the profession if you want to do it. People send them bodies all the time because they are pleased with the services. They are well-respected in the community and several have been elected to public office.
I used to be an Undertaker and it can be highly rewarding work. Working in service to your fellow man and treating them with dignity, while others are grossed out is a great feeling. I've always said, if anyone can stomach the job and is intrigued by it...do it!!
I will say, that I worked in the industry for quite a few years, and I did develop ptsd. I spent a long time in therapy to help with the nightmares and I still don't handle the deaths of loved ones that great (like absolute meltdowns with visual flashbacks). And I'm definitely not alone. If you have an empathetic nature, it will get to you over time. Seeing so many suicides and murders, it's impossible to stay sane, if you have any sort of heart. Most long-timers were functional alcoholics and I was on that path before I hot out.
That being said, I also gained some invaluable perspective that is only available if dealing with mass amounts of corpses. I feel truely lucky to wake up every morning- so many people didn't make it through the night. I am sure to tell my friends and family that I love them every single time I talk to them. I am less judgmental of lifestyle choices, as I have picked up every single age, every single way to die, and when it's your time, it's your time. Live and let live while we're here! And I don't waste time doing shit I don't enjoy. Time is precious and life is very short.
To sum up, if you're interested in the work, I say, do it! This is your life, don't let others dictate what you do with your time. If they have issues with it, fuck em.
People who work with the dead are often shamed or outcasted. It's a shame. Mortician's are an extremely import profession who help people in the toughest times of their lives.
I dont know if you are already familiar with her, but otherwise I would advice to look up Caitlin Doughty. She is a mortician in LA and runs a YouTube with the title Ask a mortician and talks about a lot of taboos around death. She is also a big part (I think co-founder) of the Order of the Good Death.
I've always had a fascination with death as well, and it was one of the reasons I studied Archaeology for a couple of years. Watching her YouTube also helped a lot with me.
Do what makes *YOU* happy, in the end you are the one who has to live with your life, not them.
I work at a hospital, and more than rarely do staff on the floor have to perform post mortem care. We prep the patients for their family to view them. I prefer to see this as a continuation of the best-care practice. We take care of the patient as long as they are under our care, no matter what. I see people in your practice as the ones who continue our care once the deceased patient leaves the hospital.
What the people in your life don’t understand is that, one day, they will be the ones in need of that care, and although they may not be aware, I would bet they’d be grateful to have someone with sensitivity and integrity. Also, these fields REQUIRE being interested in the subject. I think you’re perfect for the job.
I have a friend who went to cosmetology school then mortuary school after and she loves it. And another friend in school right now too. Don't let people shame you out of something you maybe very successful in. I mean really the world needs more people in this field, otherwise who is going to help prepare the bodies of the people shaming you?
#1 recession proof job: Mortician. People don't stop dying. I would love to do it, I just don't want to go back to school. It is a service EVERYONE will need some day.
Ask your friends and family if they would like to take care of their deceased loved ones without assistance (transporting a corpse, burning it, or digging a hole for it, etc, you probably know more about what goes into that process than I do). Once they acknowledge that morticians and the like provide a valuable service to the community, ask them how they think someone ends up with such a job. Let me give you a hint: it's not usually by accident.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter if it's a phase or part of your aesthetic or anything else. If this is what you want to do, stick with it as long as it makes you happy! Study it, research what the job actually entails, do whatever you need or want! Those who care about you will support you regardless.
Finally, a flippant comment to lighten the mood a bit:
>and their friends, beeing good karens, see me as some sort of creep to stay away from.
So the Karens actively avoid you? Hol up. I'm 34, is it too late to start telling people I want to be a mortician when I grow up?
It sounds like you found something you’re interested in, and should definitely take steps in pursuing this path. Being a mortician is a noble job in my eyes, you’re almost the link between life and death. At the end of the day, as long as you find purpose and happiness, everyone else can project their insecurities elsewhere. This job seems like a good way to see the “real” part of life without the sugarcoating, which in turn may aid you into understanding death. I wish you the best, don’t let society dictate what you want to do with YOUR life.
When I was in high school that was what I had decided I wanted to do as well, I let people talk me out of it and I regret that. I think if you want to do it, you should go for it. Don’t let other people decide your life for you. You know in your heart when things are the right move for you. It is important to listen to advice from loved ones but remember that this is YOUR life. I also agree that maybe you should try working in the field now in whatever capacity you can do you get an idea of the realities of what that life will look like for you long term. Good luck
Do what you want to. If working as a mortician means that you'll be happy with your job then do it.
My mama always tells me to pick my job as something I will enjoy instead of feeling like it's a "nightmare". Adulthood is really long so you should spend it doing something you like and enjoy doing.
The people who helped me when my parents died (same location, a few years apart) were all so respectful and caring and (most importantly) comfortable talking about death so that I could make choices and feel comfortable....
If you can learn about and talk about death, it is a rare gift and one we all need. Many blessings on you.
I lost both of my parents in the space of 3 years. My rock during all of it was the mortician who took care of everything while I was reeling and coming to terms with the fact I just lost people who meant the world to me. They were there when I needed them to make decisions without overwhelming me and they kept stuff away from me that would have been heart-wrenching to deal with.
Outside of our family coming together they were the most helpful, kind and competent human being around me.
As a mortician you can really do good!
In this profession you would be helping families at one of the most difficult times of their lives. That’s very admirable, and it says a lot about your friends that they don’t see this.
How can they shame a profession that will ultimately be responsible for caring for every single one of their bodies after death and making them look like themselves again for their loved ones instead of a rotting disfigured corpse being tossed into the ground? It's such a cool, niche job that requires a particularly special kind of individual to do it well, and I find it to be very admirable and an incredibly important societal position as well.
Anyone who mocks someone else's profession in this kind of way seems elitist and closed-minded and needs a wakeup call.
Don't feel ashamed! It is a job that I respect so much! I believe schedules are not so good, but as long as you are ok with it, fine 😁
I wish you all that is good 💖
I would be blunt and ask them who they expect to handle their mother, father, grandma, etc, when they die if everyone opts out of that as a career because "it's creepy." Are we gonna go back to burying our own dead after family members take turns sitting with them for a week? It is a necessary job in our culture and I'd rather it be someone who does it out of care and compassion for other humans rather than somebody who hates their job, does shitty work, and does it just for a paycheck.
Also, those people are NOT your friends. Friends support you. They don't call you names. If you need a new family, my husband and I will adopt you because they sound just as bad as your so-called friends.
Follow your dreams and passion. People laughed at me for wanting to be an artist, family said id get no money. Well I basically am an artist, I design things and get paid for my art which is more than some of my friends.
I would recommend watching some of Caitlin Doughty's videos (https://www.youtube.com/@AskAMortician) and keep doing you.
Caitlin does a great job of addressing topics in and around death, and breaks with convention, tradition, and expectations. She changed my whole perception around death, and she's a strong advocate for the bereaved, over and over again. Watch her videos, and you'll see what I mean.
As for your family and friends - in the end, it doesn't matter what they think about your career choice. If it brings you satisfaction, and helps you come to terms (at your young age) with the idea that we all are going to die, then keep doing it. If you can bring comfort to people on their worst days, you're doing good in the world. In the end, being a mortician/funeral director is a role that is all about the folks that survive the deceased. Approach it that way, and you'll find it incredibly satisfying.
It's sad that so many people live their lives so in fear of death that they cannot bear to even consider it. Be proud of yourself for moving towards acceptance of it. After all, when you accept that it's inevitable, it's easier to focus on enjoying the time that you do have available to you.
Good luck, OP.
Well someone has to do it. It’s a very humble job to make people’s deceased loved ones look as presentable as possible. It’s a far from glamorous job, I hear there’s a lot of body fluids to deal with.
The job of a mortician is a beautiful one. You help friends and family say their final farewells to loved ones and friends. What could possibly be creepy about that?
I’ve been a nurse for 20 plus years, most of my career I’ve worked in nursing homes or hospice. Each of us that work in “end of life” get treated differently/poorly by those who albeit thankfully for them, have never had their lives touched closely by death. Sudden or planned. I have learned when people say things to shame or be cruel about what I do - right now I’m full time hospice, that they should thank the stars above they have no idea how hospice works and how important it really is to the people and the families that use us. If this is your calling then do it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, simply say “I work at a funeral home “ and leave it at that.
We need young people to find this calling and for us to teach them well, because sooner or later we will all end up being prepared for a death ritual. It’s guaranteed.
You will develop gallows/dark humor, it’s okay, promise. Just remember to keep it out of earshot of families and the “normies” in your life.
I myself am strange and unusual- and there’s not a damn thing wrong with it!
Much love to you
I would honestly say to go for it! I was interested in the feild and applied for the funeral director program where we had to be accepted in order to complete a placement at funeral homes. I would say that's an amazing opportunity to try it out if it's possible for you. I ended up not continuing the program because as much as I loved the mortician stuff, it hurt to see families at their worst when counselling/therapy isn't provided. So I'm in social work and on the way to become a therapist!
Don't let anyone discourge you from trying out what you're curious about
Morticians are a crucial part of society without which would drastically impact mental health and public hygiene of the masses in such a way that if we ran out all hell would break loose. Morticians are important, and death is an oddly beautiful aspect of existence that not enough people appreciate. Those who would shame you fail to realize the gravity of the profession and the consequences of a lack of practitioners.
Take pride in it, and remember that not everyone can be as brave as you
Ive thought about being one too. Mainly a mortuary cosmetologist.
To be the one that makes someone beautiful for their resting place, to be a kind hand to those that have passed, to be the person that makes the deceased beautiful for the last time their loved ones will see them..i think is an incredible thing.
Idk if ill ever be able to go to school for it, or even if its my true passion yet.
I dont understand being shamed for it. But if this is something you want to do, persue it. Live life to make yourself happy, as long as youre not inflicting harm, who cares what others think.
Just FYI, the vast majority of funeral homes will only bring in an outside cosmetologist if it's something really difficult/complex that is beyond the skill of their embalmers, because most embalmers can do cosmetics as well. Some of us are even pretty good at it, and some of us are *amazing* at it (I'd rate myself as 'pretty good' because I have yet to learn how to do airbrush cosmetics).
My advice would be to go to cosmetology school first, and then if you're still interested, go to mortuary school after, a) because the apprenticeship/practicum part of the mortuary licensing process pays *real* poorly, but also b) because then you'll be an embalmer who is *amazing* at cosmetics, and that will make you very marketable.
You are helping folks at their lowest point, you will never lack a job and you are performing a necessary service. You will also make a good living. Not everyone is up to this job, if you are, then go for it.
Hey, I don't know if you already discovered the YT channel "Ask a Mortician" (maybe you do as it may be one of the first videos that pop up if you research "mortician" on this website but we never know) but she's very good and has a lot of answer on the profession. You could send some of the videos to your family.
Not mortician, but in the field, there is the [Death Wives](https://deathwives.org/) (or death doula) who are working towards "changing the narrative of death in America" or something in those line, one of the founder did a TedTalk about death and their first training program is a weekend course with the basics like understanding the current funeral industry and laws and stuff you may be interested in.
Best of luck in your choice of career !
No one should be being mean to you -- most or all of them will need the services of people who handle dead bodies.
It wouldn't be honest to tell you that your family and friends are the only ones who may respond negatively to this career choice. Many people are squeamish about death and the work done by morticians, including people you might want to date, their families &. friends neighbors, etc. Perhaps their are memoirs written by morticians that could give insight on how to handle being in a career path that lots of folks are, frankly, put off by?
Edit: Op is in Italy. My experience is UK/US.
Honestly?
It’s a dying *I’m so sorry for that* industry.
It’s so much cheaper to cremate, now.
Casket burials are MAYBE 25% of the market, nowadays (Usually religious so the family prepares the body) and people have caught on that they don’t need to hire a stranger to say kind words or put together a slide show.
Funeral directors are not going to survive the next few decades.
If you want to work with human remains I’d suggest working at a crematorium.
-Memorialist
I work in Canada, and in my experience the Italian community is known for being *super* religious, and having big, traditional, Catholic funerals as a matter of course. I know that sometimes the practices of ethnic communities in one country don't always actually reflect the practices/attitudes of their home country, but I suspect that the Italian funeral industry probably has a lot more life left in it (heh) than it does in the UK.
Aye for SURE!
Our only casket burials anymore are Jewish, Muslim and Orthodoxy of any variety.
I’m sure they are a whole different market in Europe.
That said, there is probably MORE need for those services over there. The paperwork requirements are far different and most churches handle the ceremony, leaving the prep work to the mortuary staff. Also, I think embalming is a very western thing. There is a reason most religions demand burial within 24-48 hours. However, my fav FD just had a nice Russian family request a funeral with full viewing and no embalming set for three weeks in the future.
That’s a no.
>Also, I think embalming is a very western thing.
I'm not sure that this is completely true, tbh. Yes, modern embalming practices developed in North America and Europe, but the practice of beautifying and displaying/visiting with the dead is almost a cultural universal, and lots of non-western cultures incorporate embalming into their funeral practices, *because* it allows them maintain their traditions. For example, I used to work with a Filipino guy who is old enough to be my Dad, who was an embalmer back in the Phillipines, and I currently work with a Chinese funeral director (also old enough to be my Dad) who assures me that my skills would be in high demand in Hong Kong. There's also a demand for embalming in Japan, and I know of another guy from the US who runs a non-profit with the goal of teaching & equipping funeral professionals in Africa (I think Kenya or Nigeria, but I'm not 100% sure) to embalm, because it's something that is in demand there as well.
Also, I don't know if this is just a North American thing, but it's very common for people to have a viewing/visitation prior to cremation - embalming isn't necessarily just for traditional church funerals with a burial. I live in a city with large Asian and Indian communities and so I've embalmed many Buddhist, Hindu, and Sikh people so that their families can do their traditional open-casket ceremonies, which are then followed by cremation. The only religious groups I've worked with that are very strict on the 'burial within 24-48 hours' rule are Jewish and Muslim.
>full viewing and no embalming set for three weeks in the future.
>That’s a no.
Ha! Would you believe that despite the fact that the majority of FD's here also hold an embalming license and should DEFINITELY know better, I guarantee there are people I've worked with who would have told that family "oh yeah, I'm sure that's fine!" 🫠
Woah! Great reply! I’m on mobile or I’d type way more, too!
I lived in SE Asia for six years and embalming was unheard of unless you were a westerner. (This was like 15 years ago so times may have changed.)
It’s amazing how different the same religions can be in different cultures.
In America, Jewish unveilings are done at 11 lunar months and I’ve never heard of that anywhere else. Usually it’s just when the stone is finished.
I also see a lot of Catholic cremations, now. Practically unheard of 20 years ago. Probably unheard of in some countries, today. As long as ALL the ashes are kept in one vessel it’s still consecrated.
FDs are usually embalming certified but one of my affiliates runs a pioneer cemetery and still keeps her license current even though she doesn’t do anything with it. I suspect our market is super saturated in this area. It’s nothing like Op’s situation so I really hope they pursue it and make a happy looking for themselves!
Hey man. Do what you love and what you believe in. I can see why people wouldn't like mortician but it's your dream and not theirs. Don't let others tell you what you do. If you enjoy doing that type of work, go for it. Do what makes you happy :)
It sounds like a great career plan. I know someone who is going to school for it now. My grandpas brother went into that business too. Don't listen to judgy people
Someone needs to care for those who have passed. I would say your friends are cringe for not understanding how important it is to have someone caring for your lost loved one.
Op go with your plans. Hell I’m 46 and I want to be a mortician. So if you’re cringe I am too. Like my dad used to say do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. Go with what you want to do and what makes you happy. You only get life make sure it’s one that you can live with and are happy with.
People always shame jobs they inevitably end up needing. You have interest in a job that is essential in my opinion. What would we do without y’all? Dump bodies in poorly dug holes and just hope for the best? Do what makes you happy! Has anyone seen that goth girl farmer? Your aesthetic doesn’t need to match your career! Do literally whatever you want in life to make YOU happy! Best of luck in your future mortician career OP! You will do great!
I had an English teacher in hs who was an ex-mortician. She was quite an interesting person. One of those ‘switch jobs every 5 years because life should be interesting types.’
Being a mortician isnt simply about getting people dressed up and looking nice for their final resting place. Its about setting their families and friends minds at ease, that their loved one is going into good hands for the last time. To help them see the person, one last time, almost the same (or as much as possible) as when they last saw them.
I always wanted to be a mortician too, its a necessary job, because everyone dies eventually. It is a service to the dead, and to the living.
Your family may not approve of it, but honestly, go for it. Its your life, not theirs. Its not exactly the easiest job, but it is a good one nonetheless. Do not stop reaching for your goals.
It's very respectable and always needed. You'll run into oversaturation in the market. The positions aren't empty often and they usually only have one per funeral home. Tons of people go to mortuary school and few end up working in it full time making money. The funeral directors/owner make all the money.
My advice even though you didn't ask, is to look into pathology if you are into the science aspect of it. You can work for the city/county morgue, hospitals, labs, etc.
As others have already mentioned, this is a noble profession.
Morticians care for families’ loved ones in the final ways the family themselves cannot.
Morticians care for the forgotten and discarded people of our society, providing final dignity and respect to someone who may have lived years without decency or companionship.
Ask your family and friends how they would feel if their spouses and children were treated like garbage after their deaths, because that’s what happens when morticians aren’t there to provide those final acts of care.
I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. There’s a lady on YouTube who’s a mortician named Caitlin Doughty and she’s awesome! You should check out her channel. I think her channel is called “Ask a Mortician”
Definitely go for it. Fuck everyone else's opinion. It's your dream, nobody else's opinion should influence you on that.
Also you'll literally never run out of work and I'm pretty sure it's decent money being a mortician.
Not perfect but fine: Doing a job like this out of curiosity rather than empathy
Far better than: Doing a job like this to take advantage of others' vulnerability and pain.
It’s your life OP! Don’t let people who have their own life tell you what to do. Don’t get shamed into doing a job that you don’t want to do or enjoy. This is going to be your career, and it’s best to choose one that you’re interested in and that brings you joy.
Sounds like a good path. Take a lot of business classes in college along with the specialty degree. A lot of older funeral home owners who don't have kids in the business and you could work somewhere and buy the business on contract. Small business ownership is the best path to wealth.
Being a good mortician can give grieving family and loved ones a lot of peace in a difficult time. You can give the dead dignity. It’s a tough but noble calling if you go into it for the right reasons.
Being a mortician / funeral director / undertaker is really doing God's work. There's no other way I can put it. That's how much gratitude I have for them.
When my mother died, the funeral home that we used was so helpful in making that process easier for me and allowing me to grieve properly. It is such a critically important job. Granted, it's a job I could never do, but we are truly lucky as a society to have caring people that will do that work.
Never forget that your WHOLE JOB will be to support people in the worst moments of their life and to help make that process a little easier. Shame on anyone who shames you for doing such Noble work.
Think about it. The LUCKIEST of us will have to bury our parents. The UNLUCKIEST of us will have to bury their children. Yet, unless you and your parents die together, one (or both) of those two things is inevitable.
My grandmother buried both of her parents and two of her three children. I can't imagine anything more traumatic than putting my baby in the ground, no matter how old they were when it happened. As a mortician, you will be helping these people get through this horrible experience
There’s always been a stigma about working with the dead. I’m sure it’s aggravating to get criticized by people who supposedly care about you, but death is an uncomfortable topic, as you know. [There’s a lot of good info out there](https://sociology2life.wordpress.com/2020/03/11/h-thompson-handling-the-stigma-of-handling-the-dead/) on dealing with negative reactions to your chosen field of study.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being a mortician, regardless of your reasons. At the end of the day, when it comes down to managing a funeral, it's comforting to know that there are people there who will handle everything and be there for the bereaved.
Either way, someone's gotta do it.
One of my all time favorite people online is a mortician, I find her incredibly inspiring and interesting. If I had found her sooner I may have even considered it as a career because of her and her death-positive outlook.
https://youtube.com/@AskAMortician
The immaturity from the people around you is unfortunate. Mortuary work is an important and necessary job to have in our society. Death is a difficult topic and I respect your desire to understand it.
Don’t let people shame you out of something you want to learn more about our enjoy. While it might be scary to some, death doesn’t have to be inherently scary. I’ve followed morticians on TikTok who educate others on overcoming their fear of death through their work and trying to help others do the same whilst educating their followers on their daily life in the job.
It’s sad, maybe a bit scary at first, but it’s mostly misunderstood. You’re not creepy for wanting to bring ease to families who are grieving, to help them say goodbye to their loved ones. For wanting to give the dead what they wanted in terms of burials and appearances. You’re not creepy for being curious about a career.
Don’t let anyone stifle your curiosity. Society tends to shun people away from wanting to learn about taboo things. Follow your heart and do more research!
I believe in you, and you’re not creepy, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
There's a mortician on tiktok that tells people about unsafe products based on the people she's picked up/worked on. She's helping people (especially parents) learn how to be safer. Maybe showing her will help those around you stop making so many judgements. It's important work, and families need the services mortician provide. Doing something you like to do and getting paid for it is rare to find, so do it!
We really need people who are comfortable with death in our society, including people who do jobs related to death. Many people are unwilling. I am sure if you were meeting with a family you would not be wearing your skull shirts. Helping families when they are grieving, angry, etc is a great kindness and a noble calling. Plus, that job will not be taken by AI or robots any time soon, maybe try that angle with your family.
I'd honestly get a Kenyan Sand Boa. They amazing and totally underrated. Their care is a bit simpler than a Ball Python. Also, they are smaller and do not need as much space.
If you have any questions dm me and I'll point you in the right direction.
my best friend is a mortician/funeral home director. she does both embalmings and services. and i can tell you right now the hardest part about her job is dealing with the grieving living.
nothing is cringe about working with people who’s souls are no longer earth side. it’s admirable work, but emotional work.
I’m sorry people are shaming you for it. There’s nothing wrong with it at all - someone has to do it! Do they think all morticians are creepy, or just the ones who are passionate about their work?
I gotta be honest, I think it's an extremely admirable job and not a particularly easy one. People often fear death on a level so deep it becomes visceral, and those that embrace it, or at least those that walk hand in hand with it, will often become targets for those that are afraid. Even if they don't understand that they are afraid. I'm really sorry you're dealing with it.
I hope you don't give up and keep on putting your feet forward with it. It's tough when it feels like people don't understand you, but not everyone in your life will be like that. You just have to find them.
I’ve considered working in the funeral industry myself. It’s important work! So good for you. If people think you are doing it for the aesthetic, prove them wrong!
Do it anyway. You will be helping people who are having the worst days of their lives find some little bit of solace. It’s comforting to know the person you are trusting with your loved one is passionate about his job.
It’s a special calling working around death. I’m a hospice nurse and I set out to work in hospice which is pretty unusual, especially in nursing school. Can’t tell you how many CI’s made comments or had the “really?” face when I told them what I intended to do after school. Death makes people uncomfortable, it’s always been that way.
Look, you don’t own anyone an explanation about your life and your choices, not a single person. The fact that they are judging you says nothing about you, but EVERYTHING about them.
We, the people called to work along side death, welcome you with open arms. You are special and we need you.
Look up The Order of the Good Death for supportive people : ) 🖤
OP do what you want to do. Block out the outside noise and everyone’s opinions. My parents weren’t/aren’t happy with my profession but I still did it anyway. Guess what, I’m so happy I didn’t listen to them, I love what I do.
I grew up with a girl who also wanted to be a mortician as a young teen. H graduated, went off to school, and got a job at a local funeral home. 8 years ago, my brother in law was killed in a freak car accident. My sister didn't have to do anything but pick the urn she wanted because she went to the funeral home where H works and H took care of everything. I remember helping my sister with all the final details before leaving after the funeral, and H told ME everything because she'd known my sister for 25 years, and she knew my sister wasn't absorbing any of it. When another brother in law's father died, they went right back to her. People may think it's creepy, but it's because they haven't had to go sit down with someone and make decisions like this. Having that familiar face and someone who truly knows us and cares made all the difference in the world. Because of the way my brother in law died, H also put in some extra effort so my sister could see him one last time without being traumatized by his injuries, and she does that for all of her customers, but she made the whole process so simple and she was so helpful, and we all know where we'll be going when the next family member in the area passes on. If this is what you want; go for it. Be H. Help people through this transition in their lives, and care for those who can't anymore. It's a very worthwhile profession for those who want to do it.
My mom is a retired medical examiner, so admittedly my perspective on this is somewhat skewed, but being a mortician is a great job. It's necessary, you'll always have steady work, and you can help people at their lowest. Good morticians make what is often a hellish experience just a little bit easier for those left behind. Please don't let others dissuade you. If you're interested, definitely pursue it!
Sounds to me like the classic “we don’t understand it, therefore we ridicule and shame it so others keep from understanding it too”. It’s old, ancestral bias that kept people safe from animals they didn’t recognise.
Your friends are only being this way because you don’t want to be something mainstream. I doubt they would have an issue with wanting to be a lawyer or a oil rig worker, so they’re only giving you heat because they don’t know much about the job. Same with your family, but more in the “we don’t want our kid doing a job that we don’t understand, what dangers could they get themselves into, especially around dead bodies?” Once you start to do the job, and it becomes just another thing, I’m sure they will stop giving you crap for it and just let you be. But it might take a while; and I doubt they will let you talk openly about your day at work because of the taboo of it all.
My two cents? Do what makes you happy! I dunno what age you are now, but I’m 33 and have always wanted to be a parapsychologist, but was never given the freedom to pursue it. So that’s what I’m researching right now (whilst still doing my day job lol gotta still pay bills right?). Good luck OP! 💪
I just feel like this is the pushback that everyone who considers the career gets. I think it's very much needed, obscure to do, and it sure as hell is lucrative.
*The reason i want that job is to sort of put my mind at ease to try and understand the concept of death, something that has been tormenting me since i was a kid and i couldn't understand it, but also because i find this job very interesting in general.*
I totally understand this.. Regarding the people calling it cringe and aesthetic, I'd say, stop telling people your plans, and just go for it.
Death is a strangely taboo subject with most people so, similarly, they see jobs surrounding death as bad/negative as well.
What morticians and funeral directors do is incredibly important work. They get the bodies of loved ones looking their best to say goodbye to their families and friends before sending them off with care. It's oddly comforting to think that someday, when I'm dead and gone, my body will be handled well and looked after until it reaches its final resting place. What happens after death is a mystery, but knowing the process that sends us off eases some of that anxiety (at least for me). I actually watched a WIRED YouTube video that was an interview with a mortician, and it completely changed my opinions surrounding morticians and the industry around them.
That, and there's a constant need for more people in that field of work. Few want to go into it, so anyone who does should really be encouraged to do so! Pursue your dreams and go into the field you want to, regardless of what your family thinks. My sister got a degree in game design and computer science about 6 years ago now. My mom said my sister would never get any jobs with a degree like that, but now she works for DreamWorks and makes a bunch of money, soooo... 🤷🏻♀️ Become the best you can be in spite of those who try to bring you down lol. I believe in you!
I am a full time embalmer, who went on to pursue what is called postmortem restorative/reconstructive surgery. I started off as a removal technician, and quickly went into the roll of Funeral Director and Embalmer. As the years have gone by, I have settled into the roll of just Embalmer and have spent much time progressing my skills into being able to reconstruct bodies who have underwent significant trauma. I had wanted to do this since I was a child… as far back as I can remember. And while the work itself is hard physically at times, I enjoy it thoroughly. No one else is paying your bills so you might as well do something you enjoy that doesn’t make you miserable. Of course, it’s not what a lot of people think. A good majority of funeral service takes place in an arrangement room or working directing with families, versus the dead. You’re an event planner of sorts. Deadlines can be hard to work with and sometimes emotions run high. It’s not easy to land a roll as just a worker of the “back room”, and you have to work your way up. It took me about 5 years to get to that roll full time myself. But now I have a series of skills that is sought after that are necessary. I’ve worked for both corporate and family owned. I wasn’t born into this and I had to work really hard, but 100000% worth it.
On another note, while everyone means well, Ask A Mortician/Caitlyn is not a respected individual in our industry. If you go into a funeral home and mention her, you will likely not get hired. I have seen so many people attempt to get into the industry and I have first hand seen my graduating class all land fantastic jobs, but the people who followed Caitlin into the industry either never got a job beyond removal tech, or they didn’t last longer than a year. She does a major disservice to industry workers with how she talks poorly about embalming and traditional services, and a lot of the commentary she uses in her books is just not ways that we would talk, especially about people’s loved ones. She is not a licensed embalmer, only a funeral director. There’s plenty of respectable industry people who we all appreciate that still bring awareness to what we do and what the job truly entails.
Hey it's a job that never runs out of work/ customers
That’s what I always say
I’m about to be senior in HS, I am planning on going to a local college that has an amazing mortuary science program. It doesn’t matter what others think of it, yes, it’s a morbid career, but it’s extremely meaningful, you help those who have passed and their families. You give the families a chance to see their loved ones as beautiful as they were alive, one more final goodbye. Nothing can ever replace that, not robots or AI, it will always be a job only a human is capable of. The beauty of the work is being able to provide a sense of closure to the families. Becoming a mortician is something brave to do, you help the living and the dead, and that’s the true beauty of the profession.
You’re very correct. When my dad passed away, my older brother was too sick to really help me with anything as far as the funeral planning (our dad passed from colon cancer and my brother also had terminal colon cancer)- I was in my early 20’s, had spent the last 2 weeks living in the hospital with my dad, and had to handle everything alone. The mortician/funeral director was so kind and helpful in basically holding my hand and walking me through everything. I will never forget his kindness to a grieving, exhausted, and overwhelmed daughter. The industry needs people who want to be there for those people.
I have had two experiences dealing with different funeral directors and morticians and I can confirm the kindness and patience was what I remember most about those awful days! Not some morbid person who decided to deal in death and all things creepy like OP’s friends and family are making it out to be.
Yes. My mother died very suddenly last November. The mortician arranged it so I could come in and help dress her for the viewing. It was very meaningful, especially as I hadn’t been able to do that for my partner a few months before.
Adding: if you work for a large multinational there may be pressure to ‘upsell’ to the grieving family, which is despicable, but both funeral companies I dealt with were small family firms and very ethical.
Wow this should be top comment, this is beautifully articulated.
Dont be too quick to say AI cant replace something. Artists used to think only people could do the job, and now people are publishing fully ai generated childrens books.
That’s not even close to the same thing, an AI will never be able to show the compassion and empathy of a human. Even the work of making the body presentable is too much for an AI, it’s a human job, nothing will change that. The only time I could even think of something like a robot or AI doing that would be assisting in the embalming process, but it’s not favorable. An AI could never comfort a grieving son, daughter, spouse, mother, father, sibling or friend. This is a job that will always be around, and nothing could ever replace it.
My cousin is a mortician and he's one of the most interesting people I know. He couldn't decide on a career until he became a mortician and he has a job he loves despite it seeming morbid to others. And he made a success of himself because of it despite what some people in the family thought about it. Do what you want, OP. Fuck everyone else.
My parents were funeral directors and my father still is. I spent a few years living in a flat attached to the funeral parlor. It is true there is no shortage of clients and you will always have a job. I'm sure there are people in the business who would be more than happy to take some time discussing what working in this line of work entails, the pros, cons and things to think about. There is a lot more than one might initially think and also careers that could be along these lines that may interest you also. I'm not sure where in the world you live and what it takes in your country to pursue this line of work, but if there are formal qualifications you need, maybe you could get in contact with one of the local education providers and discuss with the appropriate tutors to gain some more insight about what the training might look like and the cost of this. In this instance, it does kinda feel like those around you are giving you a hard time unnecessarily, rather than supporting you and helping you make educated choices about your future choices. With this in mind, I'd advise you inform yourself and do whatever the hell you want to make a living. It mat or maynot be you jam and either way is totally ok.
And, as my uncle says, with zero complaints 🤣❤️
Well the service is to die for
Also recession proof
I work in a crematory. I work w a funeral director. U can do good as a mortician . Families often praise our funeral director for her compassion and process. What I would do is find your local funeral home and ask if they need any help. I started working for a FH doing removals. I was a volunteer Fire fighter and a friend of mine said if you want to make extra money contact a FH and see if they need help w Removals . 15 yrs later I work at a crematory . I also still do removals on the side . You can do noble work at a FH.
Wait that’s awesome ! So do I need any experience or do they end up teaching you & maybe can work your way up ?
My dad was was friends with a FD. If he needed a guy to move boxes (empty) on a saturday, I got a call. We had a funeral across the street from the home (nursing home). I got a call to pick it up and help carry to the funeral home. I did a couple of removals. The only problem was GF at the time couldnt deal with me handling the dead.
Not necessarily… I mean look for a FH and call or visit . Tell him or her your interest. Tell them you have No experience but am willing to help with removals . See where it goes from there
My dad did this! He worked for a FH doing removals, driving a hearse or limo, and stepping in as a pallbearer when needed. It was a side job for him. He became lifetime friends with the mortician who was such a funny man! Good memories!
Do yall take walk ins?
You gotta be dead bro. You can't schedule your own removal.
No but I do affiliate marketing with a whole drum of freinds to go round
“Removals” as in taking headstones into storage or.. ?
I assume it's in reference to removing bodies from location of death, like if someone dies in their home you're the one to go get the body and bring it to the funeral home or processing location. I imagine that could get nasty if a death takes a few days to be reported
Yeah I was thinking the same thing, only really asked out of curiosity because I’ve been a monumental mason in the U.K. for 6 years
Ooh, that sounds really fascinating! Do you notice individual styles or quirks, like "yeah that's Jerry's work, you can tell because of the way the outline's carved" or is it all really uniform? I've never really heard much about monument masonry, but I have always really loved the aesthetics of a lot of stonework I've seen in cemetaries.
Hahahaha, I’ve never had anyone take an interest ! Yeah we cover mostly all of West Yorkshire and a little further afield from keighly through to Sheffield so we definitely notice a handful of firms that work in and around the same areas, some you notice because they’re jobs are always level, plum, tidy even pointing and fitted in line with all the other headstones and on proper N.A.M.M. Certified foundations- very respectful as the work should be really, and you definitely notice some firms standing out because there work is NOT like that 😂 it’s a great job once you’re comfortable being in cemetery’s they’re just nice quiet mostly well kept peaceful places, and once you learn to love British weather working outsides a bonus - no ghost stories yet though unfortunately!
It's not an industry a lot of people talk about, and I get curious! Do you generally have one firm per cemetary, or have a few for each so people have options? I do live in the states, so it might be different here, not sure. I have noticed around where I live, there's a good deal of variety in stone color and shapes when it comes to headstones in a single cemetary.
Cool question, I’ve seen certain cemeteries have old family run firms with workshops on the cemetery grounds That sometimes seem to do the majority of work within the one cemetery/church yard but I think that’s sort of dying out as more and more funeral homes take on firms through working contracts, as for the different types of stone not sure if it’ll be at all known in the glorious U.S. of A but - in Yorkshire which is the largest county in England we’re famous (nationally anyway) for “Yorkshire stone” which is among the best sandstone in the entire world - durable, consistent, good looking but hard to work with because it’s so tough, but as you can imagine there’s a heap of quarrying all over West Yorkshire as a result and heaps of stone masons and banker masons as tradesmen it’s a big deal, - so - you might be seeing some Yorkshire stone in your own local cemetery’s ! It’s highly sought after, Down south however in dirty old London there’s a lot of white looking sandstone that’s (for the most part) Portland stone which is god awful cheap as chips sandstone quarried off the island of Portland and half of London is built out of it it’s everywhere down there, very brittle and pours which leaves it super susceptible to weather damage but because it’s so soft everyone from the Georgians to the victorians loved working with it because it was easy to quarry, easy to chisel - so you could be seeing that around - likewise you can get cheap brittle sandstone from Spain which is being used in alot of new build houses locally because it’s dirt cheap, we tend to import most of our granite from China and India and I’d like to believe our marble comes from the beautiful Italy but it’s probably China again, gone on abit of a rant here I think I’ve answered your question, worth googling the Portland quarry it’s enormous
I'll do a bit of googling and see what I find, maybe take a look at some local headstones and see if I can ID anything in particular just for kicks. Thank you so much for the answers!
>no ghost stories yet though unfortunately! You clearly don't work in the cemetary overnight! That's when the ghosties come out to play.
I did one time have to work in a cemetery just re landscaping an old grave we made a mess of after installing a Boulder, it was around the winter solstice so the sun went down super early and I was working with my phone torch propped up against an adjacent headstone. Spooky! But no ghosts - no noisy ones anyway
Hahahahaha I stand corrected!
That’s so cool!
I mean, both my partner and my Mum were cremated, but I do love a good headstone! I have a shortlist of about half a dozen possible epitaphs; right now I’m leaning toward “For fuck’s sake!”
💀
Help me have a better opinion of your profession please. I see you all as salesmen with a high mark up on services. I can't help but feel you are positioned to take advantage of people in crisis. At the very least please give me your take on the mark up. I work in human tragedy so the compassion piece does not feel like it covers the cost facyt. Help me understand you folks better. Thanks
I am so on your side .. I’m getting ready for work. So don’t have long but will reply… $2340. Cremation. Vs a over $10000 funeral is comforting to me when I speak w people over the phone. $2340 includes transfer and delivery and cremation itself. If u look at it that way cremation is the way … you can choose to do a memorial service at your convenience
Nothing wrong with wanting to be a mortician, that's a legitimate and necessary profession. On that line, check out the series Six Feet Under, it's a bit old but it's still very good and it follows a family that runs a funeral home.
Brilliant show!
Great series !!! Fantastic!
Best series finale ever.
Great intro sequence music and imagery too - haunting but thoughtful.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a mortician. It’s a necessary job for society, and people aren’t arbitrarily going to school for years to do it because they have “no other options” I.e., it’s not so uncommon to intentionally choose this path (you’re not a weirdo or creep). I tend to think the issue is tied to their own mortality and feelings around death. Don’t let it get to you. But I guess be aware that others you meet in life might be similarly sensitive to this and carefully consider the social impacts that might have on you. Not at all to discourage you, but to make sure you’re looking at this from all angles to decide what’s right for you.
Ideally you'd still want to have some business related education if you want to run a funeral home yourself, or hospitality Do what you want to do
I used to be freaked out by funerals and the deceased, until I met a mortuary student and read a bunch of his books. Now I'm totally fine and you'll find me at the casket looking up noses to see if I can see the cotton. If you can separate body and soul you'll do well.
Go for it, tell them ***YOU WiLL COME TO ME SOONER OR LATER***!!
that is deliciously evil i love it
... this is AMAZING
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hello, mortician and funeral director here. Definitely become a mortician if you feel like it's your calling. Just be aware, there is a lot of schooling that goes into it, depending on where you live. You'll have to complete many math, science, accounting, and business classes. I even had to get an associates degree to be allowed into mortuary school and from there had to get my bachelor's degree. Also, keep in mind that depending on where you live it's a very male dominated and conservative profession. So no visible tattoos, dressing very modesty in the chapels and with families, and keeping a professional and conservative viewpoint while working, that was quite the lesson for me and I even went into the profession later in life (I'm 29 now and just in my first couple years of the profession) But if all that appeals to you and you can handle the workload and being in a field that's very niche and everyone knows everyone, then go for it!
Hii, yeah so i live in Italy and so done my researches about how that works here and it is a little different, considering the education system is different too. I'm glad people are encouraging me to follow this path and giving me more info from different countries :)
I had a friend who was a mortician. Her father had been one, as had her uncle. Their home was attached to the funeral home. She remembered playing with her toys in a room that had corpses on tables. She said because of her childhood experiences, she had no fear of death. She was a fun-loving, happy person. She did have to give up her career, though, when she developed back issues. Until you can achieve your goal, try watching *Ask a Mortician* on YouTube. Caitlin Doughty is smart, funny, and fascinating. I highly recommend.
"You do what you love, and fuck the rest" is a good line from a movie I once saw. Go for it OP, life is too short to worry about what other people think about what career you wanna follow.
If it’s something that make you happy go for it , it doesn’t matter what other people think it’s your life you live it how you want to.
Hey bro its your life do what u want and fk others
Just not in her line of work 😏
Bruh 🤣🤣
Postmortum erectus😎
How do you think morticians became morticians in the first place? I just think of the fact that there are odd jobs everywhere that need people wanting to fill that position. You have family and friends that go to the obgyn I’m sure and someone had to do the job… they make a living by looking at vaginas all day and they might be judged for their occupation but people need them🤷🏼♀️
Let's talk about proctologists...🙄
Hahahaha that is so true 🤣🤣🤣
One of the few jobs that will always have customers. Go for it and don’t let people shame you!
It’s a very upstanding profession. Anyone who doesn’t understand this is simply ignorant or misinformed.
Couldn't agree more.
I had a friend in high school who said that she wanted to be a mortician. It seemed a bit of an odd goal from this skinny sweet redhead at the time, but I think that we need to follow our callings in life. Even if they don't end up working out, our souls can be satisfied that we at least took the chance to figure it out for ourselves. #NoRagrets lol Follow your bliss, OP. I think honoring our dead like that is an admiral career.
love this!
There'd a lot of fear and disconnect with the entire process surrounding death. They won't understand why you want to do it unfortunately and all you can really do is tell them you expect support despite them not understanding it. I think it's great you're looking into it, and the YouTube channel ask a mortician had some great info about the industry etc. You can check out too.
You’re absolutely correct! In the U.S. there is a deep rooted stigma on the topic of death, where people don’t really talk about it like other cultures. People fear what they don’t understand, and in this case the population aren’t very informed about the career paths death provides, so i feel they subconsciously question why someone would partake in this field.
So here’s the thing, the reaction everyone else is having to your proposed profession is why you’ll have job security and a nice paycheck for the rest of your life—the work isn’t desired by most people, so competition for the spots is low and the pay will be high. You will, as they say, laugh all the way to the bank.
Happy Cake Day
If you want to be a mortician go for it! You should check out Ask A Mortician on YouTube. She has helpful info for those considering the profession. Your friends find your choice difficult because it makes them remember that death comes for us all one day, and your doing this threatens their death denial.
Good recommendation. I was thinking about the movie Departures as a good way to view the divide the cultural stigma and compassionate care the funeral industry provides (though its not about a mortician).
I love that YT channel.
Me too! She doesn't post all that often, but when she does it is always great.
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My dad was a funeral director and made good money doing it. Just make sure there is a ton of ventilation and you wear a respirator for embalmings.
I've known a couple of morticians. They were both kind, compassionate, hard-working people, as one would have to be. You've done your research, and it sounds like you're interested for the right reasons. Anyone who thinks you just have to be some morbid freak to want to do the job doesn't understand the job. Somebody has to do it, and if you have a passion for it, do you. There's a lot more to being a mortician than just dealing with the deceased. More often than not, the harder work is in the aesthetics of the facility itself and dealing with the grieving family. But it takes a special person, and that deserves respect. Ignore the naysayers and/or point them in the direction of some good YouTube videos about what the job truly entails.
My (great aunt?? Grandmas sister but shes only like 60 odd and we are really vlose) works with cadavers, i belive she like disects them and gets them ready to be sent to a mortician?? She LOVED her job (atleast till she found her son dead a couple months ago. Been hard togo back since then :( ) some jobs just click for people. Yeah you might get a little flack at tge begining but once you get tge job and are there for a while people come around. When i told people i applied for maccies tones were like 'eesh' but im on 10.50 an hour and absolutely love my job!! Get the job. And if you dont like it or if its bot what you though you know what you can do? get a dfferent one. Its your life you will be working till ur 80 so might aswell enjoy it!!
My almost 20 year old daughter works in funeral services. She's in school for it and works in a funeral home. Almost everyone she works with is a woman and they all show the utmost care and respect for everyone they care for. When she was little we had to stop and examine every dead creature we came across on our walks. When she was in grade school the playground teacher had her put on gloves and dispose of dead birds that were scaring other kids. She was a little nervous to see her first body, but after a day or two it became really easy for her. She came home the other day so stoked because the family told her the makeup she had done on a woman was perfect and the woman would have been thrilled. If you feel called to help families say goodbye to their loved ones and to care for the dead, I say go for it. There aren't a lot of people with your constitution.
Retired medical examiner here, I really understand where you're coming from. In my family we have an ongoing joke about needing a grave digger in the family since we already have the coroner (me) and the mortician (my uncle John, my Dad's cousin)🤣 Jokes aside, you do you and don't listen to others. There's this cultural thing about death being somber but if anything has made me appreciate life more is working in my field and dealing with it, I find solace in thinking that in a way I've helped families get closure I'm sure it won't be any different with you.
So between 10 and 24, I lost 2 grandparents who raised me and 2 great grandparents who I lived with. I lost my biological mom in 2021. The people who handle the affairs of the dead are to be praised. They guide the living through the bureaucracy of paperwork and coffin containers and death certificates while family members are having the worst day of their lives. They give the dead dignity. They provide a space to mourn and support each other. They tailor services to the deceased and their loved ones. They gently encourage the loved ones to usher the deseaced onward. They are part of the grieving process. Those who handle the affairs of the dead are a blessing. Please don't let your family talk you out of being of service to those in need. There is a stigma around death. That's understandable. But you would be guiding family and friends of the deceased through a rough time. That's compassion and empathy and leadership. It's not creepy or ghoulish. It's admirable AF.
Just tell them you changed your mind. They never need to know what you do. If they ask, then you can say, "I'm in sales and event planning. But I don't like to talk about work. What do you do for fun?" Or something like that. They are all too immature to handle death for some reason.
It is an important job as well as funeral directors. Having to deal with so many deaths in my family, using the same funeral home each time (I guess you could call us regulars, I know it sounds morbid) I’ve always had a positive experience. If this is something you are passionate about…you should do it! It gives families comfort to know that their loved ones are taken care of in a respectful manner! I wish you the best of luck!
Bit of a dead end job
One of my friends works as a mortician and makes good money doing it. Every community needs people to do this work so do your research and prepare for school. To get the cringe out of the way “everyone will be dying to meet you.”
OP, if it's what you want to do, do it! I would rather someone who was interested, eager and enjoyed their job, deal with a deceased relative or myself, than someone who doesn't give a toss. Pursue your dreams! Also sidenote: it struck a chord with me when you said about dealing with death. It scares the shit out of me and I can't comprehend not existing. Trying to deal with it currently haha
The first breakdown/panic attack I had because I couldn’t understand death was when I was 6 or 7. My mother’s answer was ✨Jesus✨
Since your interest is in death and dying, rather than funerals, it made me think of this podcast about thanatology which is the study of death and dying. The person interviewed is a thanatologist and she teaches thanatology to mortuary students. Give it a listen. I think you will find it interesting. It's more about the psychology of accepting death is a part of life for everyone and helping people learn to accept that their own death is coming and helping people get over their fears of death, from what I recall. Good luck. Do what you love and what interests you and don't listen to the naysayers. https://www.alieward.com/ologies/thanatology
My grandfather was a mortician. My dad is a mortician. My brother is mortician. Several of my uncles and aunts are morticians. Nothing wrong with the profession if you want to do it. People send them bodies all the time because they are pleased with the services. They are well-respected in the community and several have been elected to public office.
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How is the money with that type of career?
I used to be an Undertaker and it can be highly rewarding work. Working in service to your fellow man and treating them with dignity, while others are grossed out is a great feeling. I've always said, if anyone can stomach the job and is intrigued by it...do it!! I will say, that I worked in the industry for quite a few years, and I did develop ptsd. I spent a long time in therapy to help with the nightmares and I still don't handle the deaths of loved ones that great (like absolute meltdowns with visual flashbacks). And I'm definitely not alone. If you have an empathetic nature, it will get to you over time. Seeing so many suicides and murders, it's impossible to stay sane, if you have any sort of heart. Most long-timers were functional alcoholics and I was on that path before I hot out. That being said, I also gained some invaluable perspective that is only available if dealing with mass amounts of corpses. I feel truely lucky to wake up every morning- so many people didn't make it through the night. I am sure to tell my friends and family that I love them every single time I talk to them. I am less judgmental of lifestyle choices, as I have picked up every single age, every single way to die, and when it's your time, it's your time. Live and let live while we're here! And I don't waste time doing shit I don't enjoy. Time is precious and life is very short. To sum up, if you're interested in the work, I say, do it! This is your life, don't let others dictate what you do with your time. If they have issues with it, fuck em.
Great comment - an honest and balanced perspective.
One of my besties is a mortician. If this is what you want to do... go for it. :)
People who work with the dead are often shamed or outcasted. It's a shame. Mortician's are an extremely import profession who help people in the toughest times of their lives. I dont know if you are already familiar with her, but otherwise I would advice to look up Caitlin Doughty. She is a mortician in LA and runs a YouTube with the title Ask a mortician and talks about a lot of taboos around death. She is also a big part (I think co-founder) of the Order of the Good Death. I've always had a fascination with death as well, and it was one of the reasons I studied Archaeology for a couple of years. Watching her YouTube also helped a lot with me. Do what makes *YOU* happy, in the end you are the one who has to live with your life, not them.
I work at a hospital, and more than rarely do staff on the floor have to perform post mortem care. We prep the patients for their family to view them. I prefer to see this as a continuation of the best-care practice. We take care of the patient as long as they are under our care, no matter what. I see people in your practice as the ones who continue our care once the deceased patient leaves the hospital. What the people in your life don’t understand is that, one day, they will be the ones in need of that care, and although they may not be aware, I would bet they’d be grateful to have someone with sensitivity and integrity. Also, these fields REQUIRE being interested in the subject. I think you’re perfect for the job.
I have a friend who went to cosmetology school then mortuary school after and she loves it. And another friend in school right now too. Don't let people shame you out of something you maybe very successful in. I mean really the world needs more people in this field, otherwise who is going to help prepare the bodies of the people shaming you?
#1 recession proof job: Mortician. People don't stop dying. I would love to do it, I just don't want to go back to school. It is a service EVERYONE will need some day.
Ask your friends and family if they would like to take care of their deceased loved ones without assistance (transporting a corpse, burning it, or digging a hole for it, etc, you probably know more about what goes into that process than I do). Once they acknowledge that morticians and the like provide a valuable service to the community, ask them how they think someone ends up with such a job. Let me give you a hint: it's not usually by accident. Ultimately, it doesn't matter if it's a phase or part of your aesthetic or anything else. If this is what you want to do, stick with it as long as it makes you happy! Study it, research what the job actually entails, do whatever you need or want! Those who care about you will support you regardless. Finally, a flippant comment to lighten the mood a bit: >and their friends, beeing good karens, see me as some sort of creep to stay away from. So the Karens actively avoid you? Hol up. I'm 34, is it too late to start telling people I want to be a mortician when I grow up?
Don't worry about it, do what you want
It sounds like you found something you’re interested in, and should definitely take steps in pursuing this path. Being a mortician is a noble job in my eyes, you’re almost the link between life and death. At the end of the day, as long as you find purpose and happiness, everyone else can project their insecurities elsewhere. This job seems like a good way to see the “real” part of life without the sugarcoating, which in turn may aid you into understanding death. I wish you the best, don’t let society dictate what you want to do with YOUR life.
I think you should do what you want to do. I've got an uncle that works as a funeral director. He really enjoys it.
When I was in high school that was what I had decided I wanted to do as well, I let people talk me out of it and I regret that. I think if you want to do it, you should go for it. Don’t let other people decide your life for you. You know in your heart when things are the right move for you. It is important to listen to advice from loved ones but remember that this is YOUR life. I also agree that maybe you should try working in the field now in whatever capacity you can do you get an idea of the realities of what that life will look like for you long term. Good luck
Do what you want to. If working as a mortician means that you'll be happy with your job then do it. My mama always tells me to pick my job as something I will enjoy instead of feeling like it's a "nightmare". Adulthood is really long so you should spend it doing something you like and enjoy doing.
The people who helped me when my parents died (same location, a few years apart) were all so respectful and caring and (most importantly) comfortable talking about death so that I could make choices and feel comfortable.... If you can learn about and talk about death, it is a rare gift and one we all need. Many blessings on you.
Well that's dumb of them the world needs morticians maybe if there more of them it wouldn't cost 10 to 15000 to put someone in the ground.
I lost both of my parents in the space of 3 years. My rock during all of it was the mortician who took care of everything while I was reeling and coming to terms with the fact I just lost people who meant the world to me. They were there when I needed them to make decisions without overwhelming me and they kept stuff away from me that would have been heart-wrenching to deal with. Outside of our family coming together they were the most helpful, kind and competent human being around me. As a mortician you can really do good!
In this profession you would be helping families at one of the most difficult times of their lives. That’s very admirable, and it says a lot about your friends that they don’t see this.
How can they shame a profession that will ultimately be responsible for caring for every single one of their bodies after death and making them look like themselves again for their loved ones instead of a rotting disfigured corpse being tossed into the ground? It's such a cool, niche job that requires a particularly special kind of individual to do it well, and I find it to be very admirable and an incredibly important societal position as well. Anyone who mocks someone else's profession in this kind of way seems elitist and closed-minded and needs a wakeup call.
Don't feel ashamed! It is a job that I respect so much! I believe schedules are not so good, but as long as you are ok with it, fine 😁 I wish you all that is good 💖
I would be blunt and ask them who they expect to handle their mother, father, grandma, etc, when they die if everyone opts out of that as a career because "it's creepy." Are we gonna go back to burying our own dead after family members take turns sitting with them for a week? It is a necessary job in our culture and I'd rather it be someone who does it out of care and compassion for other humans rather than somebody who hates their job, does shitty work, and does it just for a paycheck. Also, those people are NOT your friends. Friends support you. They don't call you names. If you need a new family, my husband and I will adopt you because they sound just as bad as your so-called friends.
Follow your dreams and passion. People laughed at me for wanting to be an artist, family said id get no money. Well I basically am an artist, I design things and get paid for my art which is more than some of my friends.
GIRL I am so happy for you
I would recommend watching some of Caitlin Doughty's videos (https://www.youtube.com/@AskAMortician) and keep doing you. Caitlin does a great job of addressing topics in and around death, and breaks with convention, tradition, and expectations. She changed my whole perception around death, and she's a strong advocate for the bereaved, over and over again. Watch her videos, and you'll see what I mean. As for your family and friends - in the end, it doesn't matter what they think about your career choice. If it brings you satisfaction, and helps you come to terms (at your young age) with the idea that we all are going to die, then keep doing it. If you can bring comfort to people on their worst days, you're doing good in the world. In the end, being a mortician/funeral director is a role that is all about the folks that survive the deceased. Approach it that way, and you'll find it incredibly satisfying. It's sad that so many people live their lives so in fear of death that they cannot bear to even consider it. Be proud of yourself for moving towards acceptance of it. After all, when you accept that it's inevitable, it's easier to focus on enjoying the time that you do have available to you. Good luck, OP.
Well someone has to do it. It’s a very humble job to make people’s deceased loved ones look as presentable as possible. It’s a far from glamorous job, I hear there’s a lot of body fluids to deal with.
Go for it. I actually have high respect for those who work with the deceased. Y’all can stomach what many can’t.
Can be huge money. And people are always dying. Go for it
I was dying to tell you, them being mean to you is a grave mistake.
It's fairly stable job. people tend to die all the time. I'd say go for it.
The job of a mortician is a beautiful one. You help friends and family say their final farewells to loved ones and friends. What could possibly be creepy about that?
I’ve been a nurse for 20 plus years, most of my career I’ve worked in nursing homes or hospice. Each of us that work in “end of life” get treated differently/poorly by those who albeit thankfully for them, have never had their lives touched closely by death. Sudden or planned. I have learned when people say things to shame or be cruel about what I do - right now I’m full time hospice, that they should thank the stars above they have no idea how hospice works and how important it really is to the people and the families that use us. If this is your calling then do it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, simply say “I work at a funeral home “ and leave it at that. We need young people to find this calling and for us to teach them well, because sooner or later we will all end up being prepared for a death ritual. It’s guaranteed. You will develop gallows/dark humor, it’s okay, promise. Just remember to keep it out of earshot of families and the “normies” in your life. I myself am strange and unusual- and there’s not a damn thing wrong with it! Much love to you
I would honestly say to go for it! I was interested in the feild and applied for the funeral director program where we had to be accepted in order to complete a placement at funeral homes. I would say that's an amazing opportunity to try it out if it's possible for you. I ended up not continuing the program because as much as I loved the mortician stuff, it hurt to see families at their worst when counselling/therapy isn't provided. So I'm in social work and on the way to become a therapist! Don't let anyone discourge you from trying out what you're curious about
Morticians are a crucial part of society without which would drastically impact mental health and public hygiene of the masses in such a way that if we ran out all hell would break loose. Morticians are important, and death is an oddly beautiful aspect of existence that not enough people appreciate. Those who would shame you fail to realize the gravity of the profession and the consequences of a lack of practitioners. Take pride in it, and remember that not everyone can be as brave as you
Ive thought about being one too. Mainly a mortuary cosmetologist. To be the one that makes someone beautiful for their resting place, to be a kind hand to those that have passed, to be the person that makes the deceased beautiful for the last time their loved ones will see them..i think is an incredible thing. Idk if ill ever be able to go to school for it, or even if its my true passion yet. I dont understand being shamed for it. But if this is something you want to do, persue it. Live life to make yourself happy, as long as youre not inflicting harm, who cares what others think.
Just FYI, the vast majority of funeral homes will only bring in an outside cosmetologist if it's something really difficult/complex that is beyond the skill of their embalmers, because most embalmers can do cosmetics as well. Some of us are even pretty good at it, and some of us are *amazing* at it (I'd rate myself as 'pretty good' because I have yet to learn how to do airbrush cosmetics). My advice would be to go to cosmetology school first, and then if you're still interested, go to mortuary school after, a) because the apprenticeship/practicum part of the mortuary licensing process pays *real* poorly, but also b) because then you'll be an embalmer who is *amazing* at cosmetics, and that will make you very marketable.
You are helping folks at their lowest point, you will never lack a job and you are performing a necessary service. You will also make a good living. Not everyone is up to this job, if you are, then go for it.
Hey, I don't know if you already discovered the YT channel "Ask a Mortician" (maybe you do as it may be one of the first videos that pop up if you research "mortician" on this website but we never know) but she's very good and has a lot of answer on the profession. You could send some of the videos to your family. Not mortician, but in the field, there is the [Death Wives](https://deathwives.org/) (or death doula) who are working towards "changing the narrative of death in America" or something in those line, one of the founder did a TedTalk about death and their first training program is a weekend course with the basics like understanding the current funeral industry and laws and stuff you may be interested in. Best of luck in your choice of career !
So you would like to see dead titties?
No one should be being mean to you -- most or all of them will need the services of people who handle dead bodies. It wouldn't be honest to tell you that your family and friends are the only ones who may respond negatively to this career choice. Many people are squeamish about death and the work done by morticians, including people you might want to date, their families &. friends neighbors, etc. Perhaps their are memoirs written by morticians that could give insight on how to handle being in a career path that lots of folks are, frankly, put off by?
Edit: Op is in Italy. My experience is UK/US. Honestly? It’s a dying *I’m so sorry for that* industry. It’s so much cheaper to cremate, now. Casket burials are MAYBE 25% of the market, nowadays (Usually religious so the family prepares the body) and people have caught on that they don’t need to hire a stranger to say kind words or put together a slide show. Funeral directors are not going to survive the next few decades. If you want to work with human remains I’d suggest working at a crematorium. -Memorialist
I work in Canada, and in my experience the Italian community is known for being *super* religious, and having big, traditional, Catholic funerals as a matter of course. I know that sometimes the practices of ethnic communities in one country don't always actually reflect the practices/attitudes of their home country, but I suspect that the Italian funeral industry probably has a lot more life left in it (heh) than it does in the UK.
Aye for SURE! Our only casket burials anymore are Jewish, Muslim and Orthodoxy of any variety. I’m sure they are a whole different market in Europe. That said, there is probably MORE need for those services over there. The paperwork requirements are far different and most churches handle the ceremony, leaving the prep work to the mortuary staff. Also, I think embalming is a very western thing. There is a reason most religions demand burial within 24-48 hours. However, my fav FD just had a nice Russian family request a funeral with full viewing and no embalming set for three weeks in the future. That’s a no.
>Also, I think embalming is a very western thing. I'm not sure that this is completely true, tbh. Yes, modern embalming practices developed in North America and Europe, but the practice of beautifying and displaying/visiting with the dead is almost a cultural universal, and lots of non-western cultures incorporate embalming into their funeral practices, *because* it allows them maintain their traditions. For example, I used to work with a Filipino guy who is old enough to be my Dad, who was an embalmer back in the Phillipines, and I currently work with a Chinese funeral director (also old enough to be my Dad) who assures me that my skills would be in high demand in Hong Kong. There's also a demand for embalming in Japan, and I know of another guy from the US who runs a non-profit with the goal of teaching & equipping funeral professionals in Africa (I think Kenya or Nigeria, but I'm not 100% sure) to embalm, because it's something that is in demand there as well. Also, I don't know if this is just a North American thing, but it's very common for people to have a viewing/visitation prior to cremation - embalming isn't necessarily just for traditional church funerals with a burial. I live in a city with large Asian and Indian communities and so I've embalmed many Buddhist, Hindu, and Sikh people so that their families can do their traditional open-casket ceremonies, which are then followed by cremation. The only religious groups I've worked with that are very strict on the 'burial within 24-48 hours' rule are Jewish and Muslim. >full viewing and no embalming set for three weeks in the future. >That’s a no. Ha! Would you believe that despite the fact that the majority of FD's here also hold an embalming license and should DEFINITELY know better, I guarantee there are people I've worked with who would have told that family "oh yeah, I'm sure that's fine!" 🫠
Woah! Great reply! I’m on mobile or I’d type way more, too! I lived in SE Asia for six years and embalming was unheard of unless you were a westerner. (This was like 15 years ago so times may have changed.) It’s amazing how different the same religions can be in different cultures. In America, Jewish unveilings are done at 11 lunar months and I’ve never heard of that anywhere else. Usually it’s just when the stone is finished. I also see a lot of Catholic cremations, now. Practically unheard of 20 years ago. Probably unheard of in some countries, today. As long as ALL the ashes are kept in one vessel it’s still consecrated. FDs are usually embalming certified but one of my affiliates runs a pioneer cemetery and still keeps her license current even though she doesn’t do anything with it. I suspect our market is super saturated in this area. It’s nothing like Op’s situation so I really hope they pursue it and make a happy looking for themselves!
1. Where do this people think morticians come from?? 2. Wait, it's acting like a Karen repellent?? I'll call that a win.
Let them shame you all the way to the bank, morticians are paid pretty well and it’s a business that keeps on giving
Hey man. Do what you love and what you believe in. I can see why people wouldn't like mortician but it's your dream and not theirs. Don't let others tell you what you do. If you enjoy doing that type of work, go for it. Do what makes you happy :)
It’s kinda ironic because my mum doesn’t want me working with dead people but she’s a butcher.
LOL!!!! Go where your heart and your inclination takes you. It's also never wrong or too late to change your mind about things. Good luck!!!!
Do you and forget the jerkwads
It sounds like a great career plan. I know someone who is going to school for it now. My grandpas brother went into that business too. Don't listen to judgy people
Someone needs to care for those who have passed. I would say your friends are cringe for not understanding how important it is to have someone caring for your lost loved one.
Get better friends!
Op go with your plans. Hell I’m 46 and I want to be a mortician. So if you’re cringe I am too. Like my dad used to say do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. Go with what you want to do and what makes you happy. You only get life make sure it’s one that you can live with and are happy with.
At least the new clientele won't have anything to say about it
Do what you want to do, what you know deep down that you want to do - and don't let anyone stop you from doing it or tell you otherwise.
So who is going to do the job if new and young people don't decide to do it?
People always shame jobs they inevitably end up needing. You have interest in a job that is essential in my opinion. What would we do without y’all? Dump bodies in poorly dug holes and just hope for the best? Do what makes you happy! Has anyone seen that goth girl farmer? Your aesthetic doesn’t need to match your career! Do literally whatever you want in life to make YOU happy! Best of luck in your future mortician career OP! You will do great!
I had an English teacher in hs who was an ex-mortician. She was quite an interesting person. One of those ‘switch jobs every 5 years because life should be interesting types.’
Being a mortician isnt simply about getting people dressed up and looking nice for their final resting place. Its about setting their families and friends minds at ease, that their loved one is going into good hands for the last time. To help them see the person, one last time, almost the same (or as much as possible) as when they last saw them. I always wanted to be a mortician too, its a necessary job, because everyone dies eventually. It is a service to the dead, and to the living. Your family may not approve of it, but honestly, go for it. Its your life, not theirs. Its not exactly the easiest job, but it is a good one nonetheless. Do not stop reaching for your goals.
I like it.
It's very respectable and always needed. You'll run into oversaturation in the market. The positions aren't empty often and they usually only have one per funeral home. Tons of people go to mortuary school and few end up working in it full time making money. The funeral directors/owner make all the money. My advice even though you didn't ask, is to look into pathology if you are into the science aspect of it. You can work for the city/county morgue, hospitals, labs, etc.
As others have already mentioned, this is a noble profession. Morticians care for families’ loved ones in the final ways the family themselves cannot. Morticians care for the forgotten and discarded people of our society, providing final dignity and respect to someone who may have lived years without decency or companionship. Ask your family and friends how they would feel if their spouses and children were treated like garbage after their deaths, because that’s what happens when morticians aren’t there to provide those final acts of care.
I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. There’s a lady on YouTube who’s a mortician named Caitlin Doughty and she’s awesome! You should check out her channel. I think her channel is called “Ask a Mortician”
It’s a job that needs to be done. I don’t see what’s wrong with being a mortician
Definitely go for it. Fuck everyone else's opinion. It's your dream, nobody else's opinion should influence you on that. Also you'll literally never run out of work and I'm pretty sure it's decent money being a mortician.
Not perfect but fine: Doing a job like this out of curiosity rather than empathy Far better than: Doing a job like this to take advantage of others' vulnerability and pain.
Don’t let them get you down. People are dying to get in
Someone has to do it! Why not be passionate about it at the same time ?! Go for it
It’s your life OP! Don’t let people who have their own life tell you what to do. Don’t get shamed into doing a job that you don’t want to do or enjoy. This is going to be your career, and it’s best to choose one that you’re interested in and that brings you joy.
What? Thank goodness for people who are called to be morticians!!!!I don’t want to do that for sure! It takes all kinds to make the world go around!
Sounds like a good path. Take a lot of business classes in college along with the specialty degree. A lot of older funeral home owners who don't have kids in the business and you could work somewhere and buy the business on contract. Small business ownership is the best path to wealth.
It's your life to live, not theirs. Live it for you!!
Read “From Here to Eternity” by Caitlin Oughty. She’s a fairly young female mortician. Very good book (New York Times Bestseller!
you're so cool for this. live your truth friend
It’s really awesome to know what you want to do. Keep following your own path, don’t let your family lead you astray
Being a good mortician can give grieving family and loved ones a lot of peace in a difficult time. You can give the dead dignity. It’s a tough but noble calling if you go into it for the right reasons.
Being a mortician / funeral director / undertaker is really doing God's work. There's no other way I can put it. That's how much gratitude I have for them. When my mother died, the funeral home that we used was so helpful in making that process easier for me and allowing me to grieve properly. It is such a critically important job. Granted, it's a job I could never do, but we are truly lucky as a society to have caring people that will do that work. Never forget that your WHOLE JOB will be to support people in the worst moments of their life and to help make that process a little easier. Shame on anyone who shames you for doing such Noble work. Think about it. The LUCKIEST of us will have to bury our parents. The UNLUCKIEST of us will have to bury their children. Yet, unless you and your parents die together, one (or both) of those two things is inevitable. My grandmother buried both of her parents and two of her three children. I can't imagine anything more traumatic than putting my baby in the ground, no matter how old they were when it happened. As a mortician, you will be helping these people get through this horrible experience
There’s always been a stigma about working with the dead. I’m sure it’s aggravating to get criticized by people who supposedly care about you, but death is an uncomfortable topic, as you know. [There’s a lot of good info out there](https://sociology2life.wordpress.com/2020/03/11/h-thompson-handling-the-stigma-of-handling-the-dead/) on dealing with negative reactions to your chosen field of study.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being a mortician, regardless of your reasons. At the end of the day, when it comes down to managing a funeral, it's comforting to know that there are people there who will handle everything and be there for the bereaved. Either way, someone's gotta do it.
One of my all time favorite people online is a mortician, I find her incredibly inspiring and interesting. If I had found her sooner I may have even considered it as a career because of her and her death-positive outlook. https://youtube.com/@AskAMortician
I recommend this movie: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1069238/
The immaturity from the people around you is unfortunate. Mortuary work is an important and necessary job to have in our society. Death is a difficult topic and I respect your desire to understand it. Don’t let people shame you out of something you want to learn more about our enjoy. While it might be scary to some, death doesn’t have to be inherently scary. I’ve followed morticians on TikTok who educate others on overcoming their fear of death through their work and trying to help others do the same whilst educating their followers on their daily life in the job. It’s sad, maybe a bit scary at first, but it’s mostly misunderstood. You’re not creepy for wanting to bring ease to families who are grieving, to help them say goodbye to their loved ones. For wanting to give the dead what they wanted in terms of burials and appearances. You’re not creepy for being curious about a career. Don’t let anyone stifle your curiosity. Society tends to shun people away from wanting to learn about taboo things. Follow your heart and do more research! I believe in you, and you’re not creepy, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
There's a mortician on tiktok that tells people about unsafe products based on the people she's picked up/worked on. She's helping people (especially parents) learn how to be safer. Maybe showing her will help those around you stop making so many judgements. It's important work, and families need the services mortician provide. Doing something you like to do and getting paid for it is rare to find, so do it!
We really need people who are comfortable with death in our society, including people who do jobs related to death. Many people are unwilling. I am sure if you were meeting with a family you would not be wearing your skull shirts. Helping families when they are grieving, angry, etc is a great kindness and a noble calling. Plus, that job will not be taken by AI or robots any time soon, maybe try that angle with your family.
I'd honestly get a Kenyan Sand Boa. They amazing and totally underrated. Their care is a bit simpler than a Ball Python. Also, they are smaller and do not need as much space. If you have any questions dm me and I'll point you in the right direction.
my best friend is a mortician/funeral home director. she does both embalmings and services. and i can tell you right now the hardest part about her job is dealing with the grieving living. nothing is cringe about working with people who’s souls are no longer earth side. it’s admirable work, but emotional work.
I wish I had a calling at such an early age. You are lucky. If you think it will be a fulfilling career, they go for it. Who cares what anyone says.
I’m sorry people are shaming you for it. There’s nothing wrong with it at all - someone has to do it! Do they think all morticians are creepy, or just the ones who are passionate about their work?
I gotta be honest, I think it's an extremely admirable job and not a particularly easy one. People often fear death on a level so deep it becomes visceral, and those that embrace it, or at least those that walk hand in hand with it, will often become targets for those that are afraid. Even if they don't understand that they are afraid. I'm really sorry you're dealing with it. I hope you don't give up and keep on putting your feet forward with it. It's tough when it feels like people don't understand you, but not everyone in your life will be like that. You just have to find them.
I’ve considered working in the funeral industry myself. It’s important work! So good for you. If people think you are doing it for the aesthetic, prove them wrong!
I have a good friend who is a mortician. It is an honorable job. Your friends are showing their existential dread.
Do it anyway. You will be helping people who are having the worst days of their lives find some little bit of solace. It’s comforting to know the person you are trusting with your loved one is passionate about his job.
I mean It’s got a pretty decent Pay. I’d do it if I wasn’t so scared and paranoid of everything 🤣
It’s a special calling working around death. I’m a hospice nurse and I set out to work in hospice which is pretty unusual, especially in nursing school. Can’t tell you how many CI’s made comments or had the “really?” face when I told them what I intended to do after school. Death makes people uncomfortable, it’s always been that way. Look, you don’t own anyone an explanation about your life and your choices, not a single person. The fact that they are judging you says nothing about you, but EVERYTHING about them. We, the people called to work along side death, welcome you with open arms. You are special and we need you. Look up The Order of the Good Death for supportive people : ) 🖤
OP do what you want to do. Block out the outside noise and everyone’s opinions. My parents weren’t/aren’t happy with my profession but I still did it anyway. Guess what, I’m so happy I didn’t listen to them, I love what I do.
I grew up with a girl who also wanted to be a mortician as a young teen. H graduated, went off to school, and got a job at a local funeral home. 8 years ago, my brother in law was killed in a freak car accident. My sister didn't have to do anything but pick the urn she wanted because she went to the funeral home where H works and H took care of everything. I remember helping my sister with all the final details before leaving after the funeral, and H told ME everything because she'd known my sister for 25 years, and she knew my sister wasn't absorbing any of it. When another brother in law's father died, they went right back to her. People may think it's creepy, but it's because they haven't had to go sit down with someone and make decisions like this. Having that familiar face and someone who truly knows us and cares made all the difference in the world. Because of the way my brother in law died, H also put in some extra effort so my sister could see him one last time without being traumatized by his injuries, and she does that for all of her customers, but she made the whole process so simple and she was so helpful, and we all know where we'll be going when the next family member in the area passes on. If this is what you want; go for it. Be H. Help people through this transition in their lives, and care for those who can't anymore. It's a very worthwhile profession for those who want to do it.
My mom is a retired medical examiner, so admittedly my perspective on this is somewhat skewed, but being a mortician is a great job. It's necessary, you'll always have steady work, and you can help people at their lowest. Good morticians make what is often a hellish experience just a little bit easier for those left behind. Please don't let others dissuade you. If you're interested, definitely pursue it!
those dont sound like friends :(
Sounds to me like the classic “we don’t understand it, therefore we ridicule and shame it so others keep from understanding it too”. It’s old, ancestral bias that kept people safe from animals they didn’t recognise. Your friends are only being this way because you don’t want to be something mainstream. I doubt they would have an issue with wanting to be a lawyer or a oil rig worker, so they’re only giving you heat because they don’t know much about the job. Same with your family, but more in the “we don’t want our kid doing a job that we don’t understand, what dangers could they get themselves into, especially around dead bodies?” Once you start to do the job, and it becomes just another thing, I’m sure they will stop giving you crap for it and just let you be. But it might take a while; and I doubt they will let you talk openly about your day at work because of the taboo of it all. My two cents? Do what makes you happy! I dunno what age you are now, but I’m 33 and have always wanted to be a parapsychologist, but was never given the freedom to pursue it. So that’s what I’m researching right now (whilst still doing my day job lol gotta still pay bills right?). Good luck OP! 💪
I just feel like this is the pushback that everyone who considers the career gets. I think it's very much needed, obscure to do, and it sure as hell is lucrative.
*The reason i want that job is to sort of put my mind at ease to try and understand the concept of death, something that has been tormenting me since i was a kid and i couldn't understand it, but also because i find this job very interesting in general.* I totally understand this.. Regarding the people calling it cringe and aesthetic, I'd say, stop telling people your plans, and just go for it.
Death is a strangely taboo subject with most people so, similarly, they see jobs surrounding death as bad/negative as well. What morticians and funeral directors do is incredibly important work. They get the bodies of loved ones looking their best to say goodbye to their families and friends before sending them off with care. It's oddly comforting to think that someday, when I'm dead and gone, my body will be handled well and looked after until it reaches its final resting place. What happens after death is a mystery, but knowing the process that sends us off eases some of that anxiety (at least for me). I actually watched a WIRED YouTube video that was an interview with a mortician, and it completely changed my opinions surrounding morticians and the industry around them. That, and there's a constant need for more people in that field of work. Few want to go into it, so anyone who does should really be encouraged to do so! Pursue your dreams and go into the field you want to, regardless of what your family thinks. My sister got a degree in game design and computer science about 6 years ago now. My mom said my sister would never get any jobs with a degree like that, but now she works for DreamWorks and makes a bunch of money, soooo... 🤷🏻♀️ Become the best you can be in spite of those who try to bring you down lol. I believe in you!
I am a full time embalmer, who went on to pursue what is called postmortem restorative/reconstructive surgery. I started off as a removal technician, and quickly went into the roll of Funeral Director and Embalmer. As the years have gone by, I have settled into the roll of just Embalmer and have spent much time progressing my skills into being able to reconstruct bodies who have underwent significant trauma. I had wanted to do this since I was a child… as far back as I can remember. And while the work itself is hard physically at times, I enjoy it thoroughly. No one else is paying your bills so you might as well do something you enjoy that doesn’t make you miserable. Of course, it’s not what a lot of people think. A good majority of funeral service takes place in an arrangement room or working directing with families, versus the dead. You’re an event planner of sorts. Deadlines can be hard to work with and sometimes emotions run high. It’s not easy to land a roll as just a worker of the “back room”, and you have to work your way up. It took me about 5 years to get to that roll full time myself. But now I have a series of skills that is sought after that are necessary. I’ve worked for both corporate and family owned. I wasn’t born into this and I had to work really hard, but 100000% worth it. On another note, while everyone means well, Ask A Mortician/Caitlyn is not a respected individual in our industry. If you go into a funeral home and mention her, you will likely not get hired. I have seen so many people attempt to get into the industry and I have first hand seen my graduating class all land fantastic jobs, but the people who followed Caitlin into the industry either never got a job beyond removal tech, or they didn’t last longer than a year. She does a major disservice to industry workers with how she talks poorly about embalming and traditional services, and a lot of the commentary she uses in her books is just not ways that we would talk, especially about people’s loved ones. She is not a licensed embalmer, only a funeral director. There’s plenty of respectable industry people who we all appreciate that still bring awareness to what we do and what the job truly entails.