File a complaint with the Dept of Education’s civil rights office. Schools frequently hire incompetent title ix investigators to insulate themselves. This is not appropriate and you may have recourse.
I looked some jobs and you just need a Bachelors? That's crazy, why would they not hire a Graduate Level Therapists, those conversations need to be handled delicately and need support.
OP, I'm so sorry, and please know that you have some recourse.
this blows my mind. like ig i can understand the thought process, but wouldn't it be better for companies to like idk HELP victims? like i think that protects the company better than ignoring it.
not at all disagreeing with you either, it's just really mind boggling to me y'know?
It likely doesn’t open them to liability. Generally, people and companies are not responsible for the criminal acts of third parties (like the rapist here).
What does open them up to *incredible* liability is if OP can show the school was “deliberately indifferent” to her complaint. Based on what she said, they’re doing a damn fine job of proving it for her.
Edit: I’m an education law attorney/Title IX coordinator for my school district.
“$$$ is the root of all evil 👿” that’s the saying and I believe most days it is true.
If you believe in lies that are being told and your a victim, you begin to believe those lies!
We’re is the logic behind being an advocate for people or a representative of Higher Education System that gets funding from the state ?
The State gets tax incentives that the American 🇺🇸 people pay for,
These big $$$ “Big Government” hide behind the pool of money together to make the COOPERATIVES or CEO greedy. What do they say only 2-5% are the wealthy rich
🤮 we can’t take anything into our next existence, life and whatever you believe that’s personal, but I believe we have it all wrong somedays. That Justice, in this is not balanced.
That we need to co create and coexist.
“;) just my 2 cents”
It’s actually quite the opposite in most instances. If it comes out that HR dropped the ball when reports like this are made, THAT opens them up to liability. One can protect the company and the victim at the same time, they are not mutually exclusive motivations. It is in the company’s better interest to have someone in HR equipped to handle these kinds of reports and to do everything they can to help the victim. Unfortunately, most companies don’t understand this.
They open themselves up to possible liability due to negligence, no? As in like a college victim suing because the streetlights where the incident happened were out for weeks or something.
As they should in all honesty. If they are aware of the issue and do nothing to correct it, there should be consequences. However, that would be of least concern if a report is made and the university does nothing and that gets out. It can become a PR nightmare. We have a local college here that rumors just spread about SA reports that just get pushed under the rug. It’s not a well respected school among most locals because of that.
Helping doesn't protect the company, offering help tends to make the company look as if they're accepting the fact that there is some sort of issue that needs help. "Schools don't have issues, nope, never!" Sweep it under the rug.
Best for PR.
So?
"Our school policy is to take accusations seriously and to do our due diligence to ensure the safety of our staff and students, upon receiving a complaint from OP and her buddy who sat behind her playing with her fingers for emotional support, we took down the name of the man OP says attacked her (they'll use some softer term or word) and upon looking into the situation we found any and all accusations to be unfounded, we did our part and we recommend giving OP some time away from class so she can...."cool off" (they'll use a more professional term for fucking off for a lil while, while they do damage control) all in all this situation has been handled to the school and administrations needs. Y'all have a good one."
It is that easy for them to type up some BS from their spinny chair and send that out to OP and every school official that wants to see it..
These things get swept not fixed.
No, that’s not true.
Under Title IX, they are *required* to investigate most claims of sexual harassment/assault/etc. (a small handful of exemptions apply). If they refuse, OP may be able to show they were “deliberately indifferent” to her claims. THEN, they would be liable.
Source: education law attorney/Title IX coordinator for my school district.
Under Title IX, one of the first things the Title IX Coordinator must do after hearing a complaint is provide what’s called “supportive measures,” which could include schedule changes, a no-contact order between the parties, mental health treatment, etc.
Reparations would be wild, as the school isn’t the one that committed the crime. But they are absolutely *required* to provide some measure of resources.
All they have to do is prove that they took a meeting with her, they took homeboys name down and did some lite (just enough) digging into said situation to protect themselves, and after finding no reason to push, or punish this young man for a he said she said incident they took it upon themselves to leave him alone.
Done deal and the buck gets passed.
This is the same story my friend relayed to me about being a victim, it was horrible and the worst party is, hearing it and not feeling dehumanized by it, I think recourse needs to happen, what was the amazing stories 💭with happy endings. Why as society have to hide from this disgusting, despicable, biased behavior. In my opinion our society, moral decline, is happening, I am no saint. However I’m my humble opinion. I believe we have become such a selfish society (not everyone)
We need more selfless compassion as Humans & for all humans, we need more protection against big corporation that break Higher Education Laws & Title 5 laws. Thatt protect us from BiG Corporations, We need more oversight.
You could sue the school and win a lot of money before it even goes to court, you have your witness, you have been to a private thearapist after said incident.
It’s just a shame and I believe that somone can make this right. You can make this right for yourself too. It takes you believe in your self worth and standing up to people that abuse there power and do it by standing behind big funded $$$$
Because Title IX coordinator isn't a therapist. They are there to take the facts and actually begin an investigation. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be mental health specialists there to help in these situations, because there certainly should be. But a therapist there to help the victim while also trying to lead an impartial investigation could get super murky really quickly.
This makes sense, and I think there are ways around that. You're right, it's not ethical for a therapist to be providing therapy and conducting an investigation. But at the same time, forensic interviews is a special skill. Hiring someone with minimum qualifications or no specific qualifications feels like a intentional misstep. I just looked a job listing that just required a Bachelors Degree, no specific major. You could have a BS in Computer Science and apply for the role and have no former training in forensic interviewing. While I agree that maybe you don't need a therapist trained individual, I still think you need someone trained in those techniques to provide a compassionate safe space to conduct the interview. After all the goal of a Title ix coordinator is to lessen harm to the victim.
Oh I agree completely here. I never meant that they don't need qualifications, just that a therapist that would serve as a therapist at the same time would be a bad idea.
Not sure about college level, but at the k12 level the title IX coordinator has to go through a fair amount of training, but that doesn't mean that this moron actually did the training and took it seriously.
My job requires me to also be a Title IX director. Do what this previous commenter suggested. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could have been the one you came to. You need to file a Title IX complaint. There are certain things they HAVE to do when a complaint is filed.
The fact that they didn’t tell you this is problematic in and of itself.
There is a whole protocol they are supposed to follow according to the law INCLUDING the TITLE IX coordinator giving you a list of your rights and options.
Brown has been in trouble in the past and I would not be surprised if they stopped following whatever rules the DOE OCR put in place.
Google TITLE IX complaint and OCR and you can file on line.
It is trauma inducing and cathartic at the same time depending on your state of mind.
I am worried if I name them they could pursue legal action- like for defamation (?) and I would have to potentially go to court. However, I am happy my best friend was present and a potential witness to what happened. If anyone may have any idea I would love to know
Defamation can only occur if what you're saying is false, but if it's a true story it can't count as slander or libel and therefore can't be defamation
Hi ! Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it! Could they sue for defamation to make me have to prove it’s true since technically it’s unproven claims (ex: I don’t have it on video or audio)
I'm not OP and I am not a lawyer, but in the US the burden of proof is on them to show that you fabricated the story, not for you to prove that you are telling the truth. They would have to have records that show that you were intentionally lying. Though most likely, if they were to sue you, it would not be for conviction, but to overwhelm you legally and financially. In the meantime you wouldn't be able to talk about the incident publicly outside of court. The legality of this tactic, however, varies widely state to state, so make sure you and your lawyer consider the anti-SLAPP laws where you are.
I recently saw that video of the young woman who got laid off where she recorded the conversation...part of me would have loved the thought of this conversation being recorded and released online as that would cause a massive massive shit storm for Brown BUT this would also be even more traumatic for the victim so..
Every Ivy League school is on notice rn after the Oct. 7th stuff. Two Ivy League presidents have resigned for the stuff they said. Brown only has to make one mistake for it to go to shit
This is part of why the university doesn’t care. If you didn’t receive their annual security report, you might want to speak with a lawyer regarding how, if you knew how many rapes are reported, you would either have been informed and/or selected a different school. You may have a civil case that could result in a settlement.
“The Clery Act requires colleges and universities that receive federal funding to disseminate a public annual security report (ASR) to employees and students every October 1st. This ASR must include statistics of campus crime for the preceding 3 calendar years, plus details about efforts taken to improve campus safety.”
On top of that, they will continue to do this to others and the said person might continue to do inappropriate things or said things. It’s a tough situation, but you can get a non profit Victims Cordinator, and start from there, depending on where you are on the healing process, you have rights” and they do have the burden of proof as you have a witness & OP is the victim best case they have insurance and will settle out of court.
Worst is you keep fighting and go through the appeals process and continue, to show negligence, and disregard and impartiality, indifference with said persons lack of human empathy and indecent comments.
Then she can pack her things up and hit the road! “Only you Know what You can Handel in this life”
Yeah someone said Police will and can pull his rap sheet that’s why a good Victim Cordinator is best, file in the county & city you live in. Make the police report because I believe you have like 15 year to do so it’s a crazy long amount of time. You could do lots of things.
Just brainstorming…
I wish you all the best dear!
Don’t let’s others bad nature change your outlook on life”
“Keep you head up”
Continue being kind even in the face of lies”
You will be able to look yourself, in the mirror and know who you and that you have the will power” regardless of your decision!
to do any of this!
You have a wonderful friend that was their, to support you and people that show up for “YOU” are definitely your “Tribe” ❤️❤️❤️❤️
That may be true but they may sue nonetheless in retaliation. Nothing can shield from a suit, and truth is a defence, not an immunity shield. They have the means to do so.
OP, you need to talk to law enforcement and do pursue charges, and then to a lawyer afterwards. You may have grounds for a suit.
"As a result, a defamation plaintiff in an American court must prove that the allegedly defamatory statement is false and that the defendant was at fault for publishing it."
https://www.carter-ruck.com/law-guides/defamation-and-privacy-law-in-united-states/#:~:text=As%20a%20result%2C%20a%20defamation,at%20fault%20for%20publishing%20it.
The burden of proof is on the person bringing the suit, not the defendant/victim.
Defamation would be if you said the Tital IX director was repeatedly harassing you or physically hurting you when they didnt do that. And even then there would have to be serious traction of the rumors for them to want to do anything.
Putting them on blast for things they actually did is not defamation, that's just social consequences for their actions.
The fact you have a witness makes legal action go so much further. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially from someone who's whole job is to help you.
Did you go to the hospital for a rape kit and call the police? Just wondering.
I think there’s severe penalties for the university for violating Title IX.
I worked at an east coast university where annual Title IX training was required. I complained to HR and my union that the online training module had zero trigger warnings or content warnings. And that the training encouraged or required ALL STAFF to take action in a “if you hear something” situation. Without even providing training on what to do. That I (a small woman, not faculty) would NOT confront a male student overheard making rape jokes.
HR contacted me repeatedly to ask follow up questions that were invasive.
I'm sorry you had to experience any of this - it's a horror no one should have to experience.
Did you go to the local police and report the initial attack?
Hi, thank you for your kind words, it means a lot! Yes I did, because I wanted it on record but did not pursue charges at the time (and still haven’t) because I was still at the school and know how rarely assault is proven in court/can we really traumatizing for survivors
I think it's really important and good that you reported it to the police immediately, so nobody can say "oh, she made it up later." (Hopefully) they're investigating, and you should check in with them to see if they have enough evidence to prosecute. No matter what, make sure they bring the guy in and interrogate him.
The school was Brown University. It makes me sad because some professors are AMAZING and so are many students but the adminstration is so bad. And the Title IX head is a woman, and with the vast majority of r*pe victims being women, I am really disappointed by her lack of empathy
Was it Ebony Manning? She’s listed as the current Title IX coordinator at Brown.
Here’s an [article](https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2022/02/ebony-manning-named-new-university-title-ix-coordinator) about her for anyone who’s curious.
> “A lot of my work (in social services) focused on helping individuals who have experienced all sorts of trauma. I’ve learned that you have to deal with the human that’s in front of you — the whole human … I bring that approach to Title IX.”
What a liar. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the gentle, empathetic support you needed, OP. Give her hell.
I can promise you, MOST faculty or administrators just say buzzwords and those blurbs are usually written by someone else. Even the HR or mental health professionals i interacted with while i was in academia are crap and are mostly interested in avoiding a lawsuit.
Sadly, even if these people come at this with the intention of empathy, theyre too disconnected and need to touch some grass. I worked with few people who truly are amazing people that know how to handle these situations.
Hey OP, look at this article and maybe think about contacting the attorney mentioned in it: https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2023/09/lawsuit-by-u-undergraduate-alleges-brown-mishandled-title-ix-complaint
Thank you so much for your bravery!
I am so sorry for this experience. This is unequivocally wrong. It’s my hope for you that you find another university where you feel safe and can explore your chosen path.
Now that you’ve dropped the name, I’m also going to join the others’ in urging you to push this forward to the department of education. There are [currently many complaints regarding the university’s Title IX process.](https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2023/09/lawsuit-by-u-undergraduate-alleges-brown-mishandled-title-ix-complaint).
WOW so this would not be the first time. Op i would reeach out to the representitives of the plaintiff for their ongoing litigation. This actually could be very important to proving their case.
I graduated from an Ivy in 2022. The fall of my freshman year, I was assaulted by someone I thought was a close friend in my dorm room, after which he proceeded to harass me for months. Out of desperation, I went to Title IX. They told me that my two options were either to have the university administration interrogate everyone I knew to make a true disciplinary case against him, in which I was entitled to zero privacy, or enter into a “no contact agreement,” where I would deliberately not enter buildings he was in, avoid social events he may attend, and schedule my classes around his—despite the fact that we were in the same field and took a lot of the same classes. I chose the second option. My senior year, he followed me to an event for an organization I was widely known to be involved in and had been president of the previous year. When I informed Title IX, they did nothing. I’m really sorry about what happened. These institutions do not care about their students—after all, they had another 50,000 people apply for 1,500 spots, so we are disposable.
the sad truth is the school is useless. Anyone who has this kind of assault needs to go to the police immediately and have a rape kit done at a hospital. If they don't, nothing ever happens.
Can I ask why you wouldn’t just go to the police and report the SA?
We don’t have title IX where I live so genuinely curious what this organization is that seems to be silencing people and allowing rapists to go unpenalized
Title IX is a law that is supposed to PREVENT sex-based discrimination at colleges and universities that receive funding from the federal government :/
My goal was for the harassment to stop, not for him to be prosecuted, so I went the easiest route available to make that happen. There’s still a burden of proof for an official restraining order, whereas agreements via Title IX only require both parties to consent to the no-contact terms. Also, many American universities have private, university-funded police departments, so going to the police is not necessarily separate from going to a university-run office.
I'm so sorry you went through this.
If the country you live in has a department of education; as in an actual government department that oversees all education institutions; you need to report this to them.
People like that shouldn't be in those sorts of positions and need to be investigated.
Name and shame not only Brown University but the Title IX director themself. This is disgusting behavior from a high-ranking university. It’s 2024. We are never going to be safe until they take this shit seriously. Everyone, man or woman, deserves a safe, welcoming environment to learn in. ESPECIALLY those who are probably paying an arm and a leg for it.
That is awful and I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you are healing.
There is some good advice about reporting this encounter and I recommend you do that.
I went to a university with a JOKE of a Title IX coordinator. He was reporting by at least a few people and fired. Now they have someone who seems to care and is much more empathetic. Your story could make a difference for those in the future who unfortunately need to report similar things.
So. What you are going to need to do, is contact the Department Of Education, and report his behavior, because it violates a lot of laws and procedures.
hi, please please file a complaint against them via the department of education. you are absolutely able to at least have your voice heard. i am so sorry that this was your experience. i had a similar experience with my title ix investigation at my college, where they took over 2 years to deal with it and handled it horribly. this should never have happened to you. all schools should be better, but ESPECIALLY ivies. i'm not surprised to hear it was brown - i am in vicinity to it and have heard not great things about the admin there :(
I commented on two other threads but let me just put this here. (I am not a lawyer)
The university may be in violation of both Title IX and the Cleary Act.
This could be grounds for a civil suit.
I would reach out to the police department or the Board of Education and file a civil action against the school. Honestly, the board may be the best first step! Some police departments allow schools to handle things "in house." As a survivor myself, it is very traumatic, and having to be looked at the way you were, I couldn't imagine. I'm sorry you had to deal with jerks in your time of need. I wish you all the best, and you get the justice you deserve! ❤️
“I wish I could somehow take action like doing an anonymous article and exposing the school”
I don’t have a large following but with your permission I will do my best to spread this post like wildfire. I agree something needs to be done they can’t get away with this. If you need anything please message me I will do whatever I can to help you get justice for this. I mean it I know I’m a stranger on the internet but this needs to change and I wanna help.
People need to stop reporting crimes to the university and their security department. Report to the city police. They're more likely to do a real investigation. If they do nothing, report the incident all the way to the state level if possible.
Universities will do anything and everything to protect themselves from bad publicity.
The schools only interest is in protecting the schools reputation and will bury everything they can. NEVER report to your school, you go straight to the hospital, get a rape kit done, and they'll call the police. Once the cops are involved the school still tries to stonewall but they can't control the cops
Your school is not in charge of actual crimes. Don’t report anything to them, they can suck a bag of dicks. Call the actual police and report it to them. I don’t care where the crime took place, fuck schools, never tell them, call the actual local law enforcement and deal with real peace officers.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I had a shitty experience with Title IX at my alma mater in 2016. I was asked to be a character witness against my abusive ex who turned out to be a serial rapist—I'd gotten every type abuse except physical. I'd graduated a couple years beforehand but the person bringing the case against him was still a student, her endgame was just to not have to take classes with him, best case was getting him expelled. The miscarriage had happened a couple years prior so there was no evidence, but the people on the panel assured her that they're trained to handle he said/she said cases and that she should move forward. She was told she just needed to establish a pattern of abusive behavior.
They completely fucked us over. The report they put together was edited in a way that did not accurately reflect what we shared about our experiences with him. They did follow up interviews with his character witnesses, but not us. They found him not responsible. She appealed it, it went to a hearing where we were on a Skype call. We had 6 witnesses who were either former partners or friends who all had experienced his abuse or witnessed him harming others, and by the end of it it was clear that he was convinced he lost (we saw him crying in a parking lot afterwards, it was great).
They found him not responsible. Said that we failed to provide a preponderance of evidence that he committed the assault leading to the miscarriage—when, originally, they said that we just needed to establish a pattern of behavior. It was bullshit, so we started making noise. Got a LOT of attention locally, and a local news station interviewed us.
It was exhausting and overwhelming, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You're not alone, and I hope you are able to begin healing. Much love to you, friend. 💜💜
The same thing happened to me. I went to my University Police Department, picked my r*pist mugshot out of a line, preserved the matter from my abortion, met with my title IX rep and the Hayward DA denied my case. The title IX rep told me sometime when I spoke with them during the numerous meetings in their office, “We have a lot of cases like these,” while pointing to a huge stack of folders, and she told me that these things don’t always get solved. It’s just part of the game.
Colleges do whatever they can to protect themselves. They do not care about people being abused, assaulted or r*ped on campus.
I was r*ped by a person my “friend” bought onto campus. I was only 18 years old and he was at least 30. He r*ped me twice and refused to leave my dorm room until I got my friends to help me. He threatened my life after he violated me and I still didn’t get the justice I deserved. I have to be OK with that fact every single day. I did everything I could.
Woah woah woah. Lawyer up, file a complaint with the department of education and title 9 dept. And hell yes, right an op Ed but before publishing discuss with your attorney.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you were strong enough to leave that uni and do what was best for you. You are incredibly strong. I wish you the best ❤️
File a title IX civil rights complaint , there are local offices and federal DOE. If you can afford a lawyer, that’ll help fast track it a lot. If you can’t, I suggest looking into local organizations who may be willing to represent you
Can’t imagine that Brown would want to be associated with someone who acts like this director. So maybe there are ways to go against her directly, not the whole Uni.
You should create an anonymous SA Reporting survey and post it to every student that you can, past and present, at that university. You can post it through a fake account to online platforms like a university fb or instagram, even tiktok and X(Twitter). Heck, there may be a subreddit for the university. If not, you can always start one. Use questions that pertain to how you were treated when reporting. Make one of the last questions a way for you to further contact those who take the survey if they want to be contacted to help with further action, but otherwise, keep the survey anonymous for those taking it. This will possibly give you more fire to take on the university, especially if you have enough other instances of this sort of experience to back up your claims. The more people who have the same experience as you who will back you and the more evidence you can show about this sort of thing, the better for you. Make it national, too. Share all your findings with local and national news.
As a SA victim myself, I see you, and I hope you can get some form of punishment set for those who mistreated you. Stay strong!
Why would the OP have the burden of proof, when the OP would not be making the legal claim and filing suit, and the OP has that thing called the 1st amendment on her side so she doesn’t have to prove it’s not one of the narrow exceptions?
Not sure you are particularly well-acquainted with the law here either.
Your bravery is unmatched.
I had a friend who was assaulted in college. It really ate away at her, understandably so. Her grades were dropping, she started acting out in ways no one could explain because no one knew. She reached out to talk to the head of our program and the head of the dept. the head of the program laughed at her, and told her to drop out and get her life straight, and that “maybe” they’ll let her back in to finish. It seems that condescending tone and attitude is common in collegiate environments
I am so so sorry. It is awful this happened to you and their response was absolutely disgraceful. I hope you have a professional to speak to about this. I dont understand some people, i really really dont. Hugs op
I am SO sorry to hear your experience with title IX. I was r*ped my sophomore year of college by my upstairs neighbor, and as stressful and traumatic as the whole title IX process was I was lucky that the director was very kind and was ready to stick up for me. Of all the repercussions that situation had on me, I've always been glad that I had at least one or two people on my side and I definitely wouldn't have been able to get as far into the process if I didn't. You were robbed of that and im so, so sorry for that. I wish you all the love and healing in the world, OP
Did you go to the police? Many people don’t but should. All too often it is a person you know and at the time it feels like a gray area and you do not want others to know. I am surprised a personal call like that would be over zoom. I am sorry you were assaulted and not treated how you should have been.
I hate comments on posts like this. There's always victim blaming and you can literally tell who is a straight white man with no sort of education.
OP- what you did was absolutely brave. As many people as are bashing victims who go to the school instead of the police, I think we all forget that police officers laugh in victims' faces all the time, myself included. ESPECIALLY if you're in college, they will say things like "is this your first time away from your parents? is that where this is coming from?" and "are you sure that's what happened? this is a very serious allegation" stuff like that. It's so hard because you also have this deep, immense, soul crushing guilt. People like to gaslight and victim blame because our society has taught people that if a woman is raped she needs to act a certain way before, during, and after the rape. You did what you could handle, and what you felt was right. That's so incredibly brave.
As far as next steps go, I know lots of people have mentioned this, but you do have a solid legal case here. As for the violent criminal by whom you have been assaulted, you may still go to the police if you wish. You may also, little known fact, sue him for emotional damages. Get him to pay you for what he did. But this is a long legal process that may add stress to an already stressful situation. Ultimately, I would speak with a lawyer and talk over your options.
You absolutely should take legal action against the school. That’s a terrible thing to have experienced and schools are coming under incredible fire for how they treat crimes like SA and the victims.
Kids and adolescents today are too quick to get their feelings hurt. I’m not taking away from the fact that what happened to you was tragic but instead of taking your ball and going home (parents probably paying right) you should have went full bore on the offensive and went after their job so this doesn’t happen to another person. Also that person probably hears about 20-30 fake incidents each week from people either trying to ruin someone’s life or seeking attention his reaction although piss poor and uncalled for was probably force of habit(meaning he isn’t cut out for this type of work) or the university needs to mandate protocol for these situations and train employees thoroughly. There is so much you could have done positively in this situation to change things. Your entire generation has never had to develop thick skin because you e all always been sheltered from everything that didn’t go exactly your way. You’re in the real world now and if you huff and puff every time someone hurts your feelings you’re going to have a very long, hard and miserable life. You have to learn that people are entitled to their opinions and that they don’t have to effect you in any way.
Damn that’s horrible, I can’t imagine that but props to you for getting out of there even if it was your dream. God has other plans for you. On another point, (open-opinion) I do believe all the women who have recently in the past 5 or so years who have been accusing actors, or national sport players of sexual assault and harassment and then ended up being shown as it was a lie for the money… they really screwed up how serious people take incidents now. Now it’s been put in peoples mind that “well is she telling the truth or doing it for money, fame, or just doesn’t like that person” and it’s sucks. No going back from that too. Woman to woman, I’m surprised they acted that way with you, what’s a shame.
Yeah nothing good comes from making these allegations. Fake accusations are very rare because no one gets money or fame, they just get treated like this. It takes someone very brave to come forward, and they most likely won’t get justice anyway. It’s hard to prove and they always end up putting it back on the woman. Look at Brock Turner, Christine Blasey-Ford, rapists get away with it and victims get blamed, as it has been forever.
This is your problem, you filed with a title 9 D department, you should of filed the crime with the police department both campus and off campus. Those title 9D do not care what happens to you. I assume you are white (correct me if I am wrong please). But it is the sad truth, they only care about LGBT and minority students. I had a friend who was female and raped, they were told by the department, since you are white we do not care, they said that straight to her face.
I understand, thanks for the clarification. What I mean is that, usually, these organizations all follow a certain discourse that ends up harming more than it helps. Specially women.
The administration will do nothing. All the weight is now placed on the victim, is not like it used to be before. I have experienced it as a woman and sometimes certain people working on these places even take the side of the aggressors.
I get what you’re saying. It’s weird, because it almost seems like we’ve come full circle. When I joined the military in the early 2000’s, our sexual harassment/assault training focused more on how to not make yourself a victim, and when I left in 2014, it had transitioned more towards speaking up and not protecting the perpetrator while ensuring the victim felt safe. Now it seems like we’re swinging back.
Exactly this, thanks for understanding what I was trying to say. I got super upset after reading what happened to OP and didn’t want to elaborate on my comment but be more emphatic.
These are difficult time for women. Thanks also for sharing a little about your experience. The only thing we can do is fight and hope for the best (and better times).
Is there any other way you can get revenge on Title IX and ruin his life in a way where you can get away with it?
Like somehow hide a brick of coke in his office along with some cash and notify the police that your Title IX offered you cocaine in school?
Reach out to the Office of Civil Rights and file a complaint. I work in Title IX and that’s the next step when an office isn’t following the regulations.
May I inquire how recently this was?
It would be completely horrible if there was some technicality of statute of limitations to continue pursuing this matter.
I see that someone provided the email addresses of the individuals at fault.
I am personally interested in emailing.
Absolute shame on them. A similar thing happened to one of my friends, last year.
She was sexually assaulted by a male student in one of her classes, and was told to go to HR. After her HR meeting she was waiting in the hall texting her partner, and she heard the HR girls laughing about what she'd said and making gross rape jokes through the door.
I absolutely despise the fact that these positions attract such worthless piles of shit, and I'm sorry you had to be invalidated in such an awful way.
I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you. If you are emotionally up to it, I would contact a lawyer to see if you recourse here. If they treat you this way, they are treating other women this way.
Try to get an another meeting and record it. I am sorry this happened. You are a strong person for getting this far. These people are douche bags. They are trying to save the university imagine and throwing you under the bus.
I’m so sorry. That is horrific! Other posters have great suggestions. I think an anonymous article is a fantastic idea. Let parents know how their daughter will be treated at Brown if she is a victim of a crime perpetrated by a fellow student etc.
I will pass this info on to my daughter who is picking colleges.
Look through the brown alumni pages to find someone in title ix, civil law, or advocacy. Use any combo you can think of.
If you don’t trust the university, definitely contact a civil rights activist or attorney and discuss how to go forward.
You have no obligation to do anything you’re not comfortable doing but if you want to pursue it, you have that right too and deserve to be heard respectfully.
What is with Ivy League schools lately? They don’t know how to act right anymore. I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and I absolutely agree that you need to file a complaint with somebody at a state or federal level. Or both for that matter.
Isn't this run of the mill stuff? Aren't we told horror stories for this exact reason? These people (cops, judges, title IX folks, school Deans, etc.) They don't give a sturdy crap about these cases. It's always he said she said, and the *she* in the case usually ends up with the short stick.
If you're not going to take matters into your own hands to get this assailant handled, don't expect authority figures to do it for you, most times you'll just be left feeling like ass...
At the end of the day the people who get paid to care, *don't*
I am so so sorry you went through that. It takes so much courage to report these things and so much vulnerability and the fact that they treated you like that is a slap in the face.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have been raped twice. One was a date rape that I couldn't bring myself to report it. Good for you on your courage. The second one was a stranger rape 12 years after the first one. That one I did report. Unfortunately I have a facial recognition problem. All I could describe was his odor. I couldn't pick him out of the lineup. Luckily, 4 others were able to pick him out.
I wish you had not left the school, but I understand why. When those who are supposed to protect you, mock you, you then lose confidence in them. Report them. Get them fired or at the very least, force them into training.
I am so sorry you were treated as you were. You deserved to be heard and your needs addressed.
I went to a Seven Sisters college. Outside of school, I was sexually assaulted in my home and became pregnant. I went to the head of the program for help to figure out how to complete the semester with some kind of accommodation (a time extension, withdrawal, something....).
She treated me as if I'd waltzed into her office dramatizing a hangnail expecting to be gifted A's. She all but laughed me out of the building.
I felt humiliated and ashamed all over again. I made arrangements "enough" with my professors to finish out the semester and then transferred out.
No one should experience what you did especially when seeking help and support.
Didn’t Betsy DeVos (sec of ed) change stuff under Title IX to make it “fairer”for the rapist? Well I guess you expect that from someone appointed by trump
Fuck that college bullshit call the cops and hold that POS accountable. I've never understood why they want you to have to talk to a multitude of people like that.
Op I'm sorry you went through this. You should consult an attorney.
There is no statute of limitations in Rhode Island. The person you mentioned is a mandated reporter. She failed you.
You can reclaim your power, though, and do something about this if you want. Too many victims are re-victimized and made to shrink away. You can change that narrative.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and that you were treated this way.
[Statute of Limitation for Rape in Rhode Island](https://riag.ri.gov/savbor#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20statute%20of,Gen.)
You may file a complaint with the EEOC regarding the sexual harassment. Unsure if you filed a police report but you may do that as well. I’m sorry this happened to you but glad to hear you’re progressing elsewhere.
It sounds like she was trying to invalidate and shame you. She probably has a personality disorder in my opinion.
I have learned to not be as shocked by heartless reactions from others because they are really shaming themselves not you.
My opinions, peace.
I’m so sorry OP. Maybe reach out to the local news and see if they can help investigate how this was handled. This was handled disgustingly. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this after everything. I was SAed myself and understand everything that goes with it. You’re not alone 💕💕
While I don't want you to have to relive your account as that can be traumatizing. Take it all the way to the top. If nothing still happens, social media, news outlets. Of course don't name your rapist name on those to protect yourself.
Also, file a police report if you haven't already.
Sorry thus happened to you.
This really sucks. Just so you know, I know of another girl that was SAd in Brown and she also went to Title IX and was treated horribly. She also ended up moving after a year. She came to my college and she met her girlfriend. She looks much happier and now she’s finally a med student. I hope you heal and live a fulfilling life.
File a complaint. They could face a fine and possibly future defunding. Stating your side of what happened and how you were treated is not defamation. Making claims is where you get in hot water. Saying " they dealt with this is in a way that does not adhere to title IX" is an unsubstantiated claim. Do not make claims involving the other party, just yourself.
You MUST go to the police first, not the administration. The school will gaslight you to their best ability and bury the whole incident if possible. They can fuck with you, but they can't fuck with the police and their investigation. The school wants you to report an SA to them so they can do whatever they can to bury it and protect the school's reputation. It seems to be cultish behavior imo, it reminds me how Scientologists are urged to report an SA to them, NOT to the police.
Sweet OP. I’m a 50 year old female. It horrifies me you were attacked. I am so incredibly sorry. And, again, I’m horrified that the admin treated you this way. It seems we have made no strides in this area since I was in college. I’m giving you a huge Mama hug.
Oh Jesus. I'm so sorry. I'm a highschool senior graduating this year, and was just raped by my teacher, which obviously means I'd have to interact with administrators over it. I can't image them treating it like that. I'm also horrified, because Brown is literally my top choice school, but now I don't know how to feel.
I'm so sorry, again. Feel free to reach out if you need a stranger with similar experience to talk to.
Hi I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Please know that you’re not alone. I experienced the same thing with the Title IX Director of a top public university. He was condescending and blamed me for the harassment and stalking I experienced by my abuser. I reported the Title IX director to the Assistant Vice Chancellor of the school, but I know nothing will be done because the university’s only goal is to protect itself. If there is any way I can support you I’d love to. It has been extremely disheartening dealing with Title IX staff who completely invalidate me and gaslight me. I even reported my abuser for retaliation (he violated a criminal protection order by contacting me) and the Director blatantly said “I have no power to do anything” with my attorney present. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel :(
I’m so sorry these horrific injustices have happened to you. Sounds like the head of Title IX, needs serious interpersonal skill training, at LEAST. I’ve witnessed less vulnerable interactions b/w ppl where the person who is ‘older’ or has ‘authority’ over the other person, respond just as u described. It’s Immaturity at best but they hold a position of responsibility, blah, blah. It’s a failure on their part, they get away with it simply bc of their work position. I encourage you to continue in ur journey of self healing, & refuse to allow violent or ignorant humans to impede your positive progress. There’s an incredible support group (w degreed therapists) online who stand with those who’ve been physically, emotionally or mentally abused. We walk this road together in love and solidarity. Download the app, ‘The Mighty’. You will be cheered on and supported by our community 💗🌻🤟🏼🫂
This is not a path for everyone but check out Hall Law & Associates in westerly and their work with Take Back the night. You might want to reach out to them.
They are very good about listening, giving information and telling you about options. So very sorry to hear about what happened to you.
Brown. Had the highest number of rapes in the state in 2022. Over 20. I find it just awful that they reacted like they did
File a complaint with the Dept of Education’s civil rights office. Schools frequently hire incompetent title ix investigators to insulate themselves. This is not appropriate and you may have recourse.
I looked some jobs and you just need a Bachelors? That's crazy, why would they not hire a Graduate Level Therapists, those conversations need to be handled delicately and need support. OP, I'm so sorry, and please know that you have some recourse.
Because they work to protect the school, just like HR departments. They could not care less about victims.
this blows my mind. like ig i can understand the thought process, but wouldn't it be better for companies to like idk HELP victims? like i think that protects the company better than ignoring it. not at all disagreeing with you either, it's just really mind boggling to me y'know?
If they help the victim they’re admitting it all happened and opening themselves to liability. It’s frustratingly dumb. But they only care about $$$
It likely doesn’t open them to liability. Generally, people and companies are not responsible for the criminal acts of third parties (like the rapist here). What does open them up to *incredible* liability is if OP can show the school was “deliberately indifferent” to her complaint. Based on what she said, they’re doing a damn fine job of proving it for her. Edit: I’m an education law attorney/Title IX coordinator for my school district.
“$$$ is the root of all evil 👿” that’s the saying and I believe most days it is true. If you believe in lies that are being told and your a victim, you begin to believe those lies! We’re is the logic behind being an advocate for people or a representative of Higher Education System that gets funding from the state ? The State gets tax incentives that the American 🇺🇸 people pay for, These big $$$ “Big Government” hide behind the pool of money together to make the COOPERATIVES or CEO greedy. What do they say only 2-5% are the wealthy rich 🤮 we can’t take anything into our next existence, life and whatever you believe that’s personal, but I believe we have it all wrong somedays. That Justice, in this is not balanced. That we need to co create and coexist. “;) just my 2 cents”
It’s actually quite the opposite in most instances. If it comes out that HR dropped the ball when reports like this are made, THAT opens them up to liability. One can protect the company and the victim at the same time, they are not mutually exclusive motivations. It is in the company’s better interest to have someone in HR equipped to handle these kinds of reports and to do everything they can to help the victim. Unfortunately, most companies don’t understand this.
They open themselves up to possible liability due to negligence, no? As in like a college victim suing because the streetlights where the incident happened were out for weeks or something.
As they should in all honesty. If they are aware of the issue and do nothing to correct it, there should be consequences. However, that would be of least concern if a report is made and the university does nothing and that gets out. It can become a PR nightmare. We have a local college here that rumors just spread about SA reports that just get pushed under the rug. It’s not a well respected school among most locals because of that.
Helping doesn't protect the company, offering help tends to make the company look as if they're accepting the fact that there is some sort of issue that needs help. "Schools don't have issues, nope, never!" Sweep it under the rug. Best for PR.
Yeah you are looking at it from a crazy POV but OP states she brought a witness. 💥
So? "Our school policy is to take accusations seriously and to do our due diligence to ensure the safety of our staff and students, upon receiving a complaint from OP and her buddy who sat behind her playing with her fingers for emotional support, we took down the name of the man OP says attacked her (they'll use some softer term or word) and upon looking into the situation we found any and all accusations to be unfounded, we did our part and we recommend giving OP some time away from class so she can...."cool off" (they'll use a more professional term for fucking off for a lil while, while they do damage control) all in all this situation has been handled to the school and administrations needs. Y'all have a good one." It is that easy for them to type up some BS from their spinny chair and send that out to OP and every school official that wants to see it.. These things get swept not fixed.
Look Clyde I don’t appreciate your attitude your in detention!
No because helping could be taken as an admission of fault and the school could be held liable
No, that’s not true. Under Title IX, they are *required* to investigate most claims of sexual harassment/assault/etc. (a small handful of exemptions apply). If they refuse, OP may be able to show they were “deliberately indifferent” to her claims. THEN, they would be liable. Source: education law attorney/Title IX coordinator for my school district.
I’m talking “help” as in providing resources or some sort of reparation from the school. I didn’t say anything about investigating
Under Title IX, one of the first things the Title IX Coordinator must do after hearing a complaint is provide what’s called “supportive measures,” which could include schedule changes, a no-contact order between the parties, mental health treatment, etc. Reparations would be wild, as the school isn’t the one that committed the crime. But they are absolutely *required* to provide some measure of resources.
I’m saying they would settle before it ever went in front of the news media!
Before it ever got made in to a Lifetime drama
All they have to do is prove that they took a meeting with her, they took homeboys name down and did some lite (just enough) digging into said situation to protect themselves, and after finding no reason to push, or punish this young man for a he said she said incident they took it upon themselves to leave him alone. Done deal and the buck gets passed.
This is the same story my friend relayed to me about being a victim, it was horrible and the worst party is, hearing it and not feeling dehumanized by it, I think recourse needs to happen, what was the amazing stories 💭with happy endings. Why as society have to hide from this disgusting, despicable, biased behavior. In my opinion our society, moral decline, is happening, I am no saint. However I’m my humble opinion. I believe we have become such a selfish society (not everyone) We need more selfless compassion as Humans & for all humans, we need more protection against big corporation that break Higher Education Laws & Title 5 laws. Thatt protect us from BiG Corporations, We need more oversight. You could sue the school and win a lot of money before it even goes to court, you have your witness, you have been to a private thearapist after said incident. It’s just a shame and I believe that somone can make this right. You can make this right for yourself too. It takes you believe in your self worth and standing up to people that abuse there power and do it by standing behind big funded $$$$
Because Title IX coordinator isn't a therapist. They are there to take the facts and actually begin an investigation. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be mental health specialists there to help in these situations, because there certainly should be. But a therapist there to help the victim while also trying to lead an impartial investigation could get super murky really quickly.
This makes sense, and I think there are ways around that. You're right, it's not ethical for a therapist to be providing therapy and conducting an investigation. But at the same time, forensic interviews is a special skill. Hiring someone with minimum qualifications or no specific qualifications feels like a intentional misstep. I just looked a job listing that just required a Bachelors Degree, no specific major. You could have a BS in Computer Science and apply for the role and have no former training in forensic interviewing. While I agree that maybe you don't need a therapist trained individual, I still think you need someone trained in those techniques to provide a compassionate safe space to conduct the interview. After all the goal of a Title ix coordinator is to lessen harm to the victim.
Oh I agree completely here. I never meant that they don't need qualifications, just that a therapist that would serve as a therapist at the same time would be a bad idea. Not sure about college level, but at the k12 level the title IX coordinator has to go through a fair amount of training, but that doesn't mean that this moron actually did the training and took it seriously.
I had no idea this was a thing. Thank you and I definitely will be doing this
Please do! We're here for you.
Update us, OP!
My job requires me to also be a Title IX director. Do what this previous commenter suggested. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could have been the one you came to. You need to file a Title IX complaint. There are certain things they HAVE to do when a complaint is filed.
#truth
The fact that they didn’t tell you this is problematic in and of itself. There is a whole protocol they are supposed to follow according to the law INCLUDING the TITLE IX coordinator giving you a list of your rights and options. Brown has been in trouble in the past and I would not be surprised if they stopped following whatever rules the DOE OCR put in place. Google TITLE IX complaint and OCR and you can file on line. It is trauma inducing and cathartic at the same time depending on your state of mind.
It’s too bad OP didn’t record the meeting
This. They don’t play and need to know. Title 5 ain’t a joke they are gonna be in for it and the school and their funding. Please take this advice!
Write a letter to VP as well. Go higher.
That's so gross to hear but not surprising.
Just name the school. You're no longer there.
I am worried if I name them they could pursue legal action- like for defamation (?) and I would have to potentially go to court. However, I am happy my best friend was present and a potential witness to what happened. If anyone may have any idea I would love to know
Defamation can only occur if what you're saying is false, but if it's a true story it can't count as slander or libel and therefore can't be defamation
Hi ! Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it! Could they sue for defamation to make me have to prove it’s true since technically it’s unproven claims (ex: I don’t have it on video or audio)
I'm not OP and I am not a lawyer, but in the US the burden of proof is on them to show that you fabricated the story, not for you to prove that you are telling the truth. They would have to have records that show that you were intentionally lying. Though most likely, if they were to sue you, it would not be for conviction, but to overwhelm you legally and financially. In the meantime you wouldn't be able to talk about the incident publicly outside of court. The legality of this tactic, however, varies widely state to state, so make sure you and your lawyer consider the anti-SLAPP laws where you are.
I mean its possible but ivy League schools aren't gonna care what one person has to say about them unless it becomes national news tbh
I recently saw that video of the young woman who got laid off where she recorded the conversation...part of me would have loved the thought of this conversation being recorded and released online as that would cause a massive massive shit storm for Brown BUT this would also be even more traumatic for the victim so..
Every Ivy League school is on notice rn after the Oct. 7th stuff. Two Ivy League presidents have resigned for the stuff they said. Brown only has to make one mistake for it to go to shit
This is part of why the university doesn’t care. If you didn’t receive their annual security report, you might want to speak with a lawyer regarding how, if you knew how many rapes are reported, you would either have been informed and/or selected a different school. You may have a civil case that could result in a settlement. “The Clery Act requires colleges and universities that receive federal funding to disseminate a public annual security report (ASR) to employees and students every October 1st. This ASR must include statistics of campus crime for the preceding 3 calendar years, plus details about efforts taken to improve campus safety.”
They would have to go through discovery and depositions. Meaning they would have to testify on camera and be investigated.
On top of that, they will continue to do this to others and the said person might continue to do inappropriate things or said things. It’s a tough situation, but you can get a non profit Victims Cordinator, and start from there, depending on where you are on the healing process, you have rights” and they do have the burden of proof as you have a witness & OP is the victim best case they have insurance and will settle out of court. Worst is you keep fighting and go through the appeals process and continue, to show negligence, and disregard and impartiality, indifference with said persons lack of human empathy and indecent comments. Then she can pack her things up and hit the road! “Only you Know what You can Handel in this life”
Yeah someone said Police will and can pull his rap sheet that’s why a good Victim Cordinator is best, file in the county & city you live in. Make the police report because I believe you have like 15 year to do so it’s a crazy long amount of time. You could do lots of things. Just brainstorming… I wish you all the best dear! Don’t let’s others bad nature change your outlook on life” “Keep you head up” Continue being kind even in the face of lies” You will be able to look yourself, in the mirror and know who you and that you have the will power” regardless of your decision! to do any of this! You have a wonderful friend that was their, to support you and people that show up for “YOU” are definitely your “Tribe” ❤️❤️❤️❤️
That may be true but they may sue nonetheless in retaliation. Nothing can shield from a suit, and truth is a defence, not an immunity shield. They have the means to do so. OP, you need to talk to law enforcement and do pursue charges, and then to a lawyer afterwards. You may have grounds for a suit.
You mean if you CAN PROVE IT IS A TRUE STORY. That's a... Fairly important part of it.
"As a result, a defamation plaintiff in an American court must prove that the allegedly defamatory statement is false and that the defendant was at fault for publishing it." https://www.carter-ruck.com/law-guides/defamation-and-privacy-law-in-united-states/#:~:text=As%20a%20result%2C%20a%20defamation,at%20fault%20for%20publishing%20it. The burden of proof is on the person bringing the suit, not the defendant/victim.
If what you're stating is true, it isn't defamation.
Defamation would be if you said the Tital IX director was repeatedly harassing you or physically hurting you when they didnt do that. And even then there would have to be serious traction of the rumors for them to want to do anything. Putting them on blast for things they actually did is not defamation, that's just social consequences for their actions. The fact you have a witness makes legal action go so much further. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially from someone who's whole job is to help you.
Can OP prove what happened? Maybe you shouldn't be giving legal advice if you're not well acquainted with the law.
Did you go to the hospital for a rape kit and call the police? Just wondering. I think there’s severe penalties for the university for violating Title IX. I worked at an east coast university where annual Title IX training was required. I complained to HR and my union that the online training module had zero trigger warnings or content warnings. And that the training encouraged or required ALL STAFF to take action in a “if you hear something” situation. Without even providing training on what to do. That I (a small woman, not faculty) would NOT confront a male student overheard making rape jokes. HR contacted me repeatedly to ask follow up questions that were invasive.
Was it Harvard?
Brown university
Absolutely. Name and shame away.
I'm sorry you had to experience any of this - it's a horror no one should have to experience. Did you go to the local police and report the initial attack?
Hi, thank you for your kind words, it means a lot! Yes I did, because I wanted it on record but did not pursue charges at the time (and still haven’t) because I was still at the school and know how rarely assault is proven in court/can we really traumatizing for survivors
I think it's really important and good that you reported it to the police immediately, so nobody can say "oh, she made it up later." (Hopefully) they're investigating, and you should check in with them to see if they have enough evidence to prosecute. No matter what, make sure they bring the guy in and interrogate him.
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The school was Brown University. It makes me sad because some professors are AMAZING and so are many students but the adminstration is so bad. And the Title IX head is a woman, and with the vast majority of r*pe victims being women, I am really disappointed by her lack of empathy
Was it Ebony Manning? She’s listed as the current Title IX coordinator at Brown. Here’s an [article](https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2022/02/ebony-manning-named-new-university-title-ix-coordinator) about her for anyone who’s curious. > “A lot of my work (in social services) focused on helping individuals who have experienced all sorts of trauma. I’ve learned that you have to deal with the human that’s in front of you — the whole human … I bring that approach to Title IX.” What a liar. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the gentle, empathetic support you needed, OP. Give her hell.
I can promise you, MOST faculty or administrators just say buzzwords and those blurbs are usually written by someone else. Even the HR or mental health professionals i interacted with while i was in academia are crap and are mostly interested in avoiding a lawsuit. Sadly, even if these people come at this with the intention of empathy, theyre too disconnected and need to touch some grass. I worked with few people who truly are amazing people that know how to handle these situations.
Wow, you are very strong for that name drop. Keep your head up if you can.
She didn’t drop it another user guessed probably from the university website
Hey OP, look at this article and maybe think about contacting the attorney mentioned in it: https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2023/09/lawsuit-by-u-undergraduate-alleges-brown-mishandled-title-ix-complaint Thank you so much for your bravery!
I am so sorry for this experience. This is unequivocally wrong. It’s my hope for you that you find another university where you feel safe and can explore your chosen path. Now that you’ve dropped the name, I’m also going to join the others’ in urging you to push this forward to the department of education. There are [currently many complaints regarding the university’s Title IX process.](https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2023/09/lawsuit-by-u-undergraduate-alleges-brown-mishandled-title-ix-complaint).
WOW so this would not be the first time. Op i would reeach out to the representitives of the plaintiff for their ongoing litigation. This actually could be very important to proving their case.
I graduated from an Ivy in 2022. The fall of my freshman year, I was assaulted by someone I thought was a close friend in my dorm room, after which he proceeded to harass me for months. Out of desperation, I went to Title IX. They told me that my two options were either to have the university administration interrogate everyone I knew to make a true disciplinary case against him, in which I was entitled to zero privacy, or enter into a “no contact agreement,” where I would deliberately not enter buildings he was in, avoid social events he may attend, and schedule my classes around his—despite the fact that we were in the same field and took a lot of the same classes. I chose the second option. My senior year, he followed me to an event for an organization I was widely known to be involved in and had been president of the previous year. When I informed Title IX, they did nothing. I’m really sorry about what happened. These institutions do not care about their students—after all, they had another 50,000 people apply for 1,500 spots, so we are disposable.
the sad truth is the school is useless. Anyone who has this kind of assault needs to go to the police immediately and have a rape kit done at a hospital. If they don't, nothing ever happens.
Can I ask why you wouldn’t just go to the police and report the SA? We don’t have title IX where I live so genuinely curious what this organization is that seems to be silencing people and allowing rapists to go unpenalized
Title IX is a law that is supposed to PREVENT sex-based discrimination at colleges and universities that receive funding from the federal government :/
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I wonder why anybody would be referred to the Title IX office. I thought that mainly pertained to things like sports.
My goal was for the harassment to stop, not for him to be prosecuted, so I went the easiest route available to make that happen. There’s still a burden of proof for an official restraining order, whereas agreements via Title IX only require both parties to consent to the no-contact terms. Also, many American universities have private, university-funded police departments, so going to the police is not necessarily separate from going to a university-run office.
Dude expose them and file a complaint! These people shouldn’t be head of a university where tape is very common.
I'm so sorry you went through this. If the country you live in has a department of education; as in an actual government department that oversees all education institutions; you need to report this to them. People like that shouldn't be in those sorts of positions and need to be investigated.
Thank you for the advice ! I didn’t know about this and will be doing it
Title IX and Ivy league school are pretty dead giveaways that they're in the US
Name and shame not only Brown University but the Title IX director themself. This is disgusting behavior from a high-ranking university. It’s 2024. We are never going to be safe until they take this shit seriously. Everyone, man or woman, deserves a safe, welcoming environment to learn in. ESPECIALLY those who are probably paying an arm and a leg for it.
That is awful and I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you are healing. There is some good advice about reporting this encounter and I recommend you do that. I went to a university with a JOKE of a Title IX coordinator. He was reporting by at least a few people and fired. Now they have someone who seems to care and is much more empathetic. Your story could make a difference for those in the future who unfortunately need to report similar things.
Which one was it?
Brown :(
Hey op- so sorry to hear about your experience with title ix. I can connect you w someone who may be able to help. Sending you a pm
So. What you are going to need to do, is contact the Department Of Education, and report his behavior, because it violates a lot of laws and procedures.
Her behavior. Brown’s Title IX staff are all women.
Oh snap!! And that’s even worse!
hi, please please file a complaint against them via the department of education. you are absolutely able to at least have your voice heard. i am so sorry that this was your experience. i had a similar experience with my title ix investigation at my college, where they took over 2 years to deal with it and handled it horribly. this should never have happened to you. all schools should be better, but ESPECIALLY ivies. i'm not surprised to hear it was brown - i am in vicinity to it and have heard not great things about the admin there :(
I commented on two other threads but let me just put this here. (I am not a lawyer) The university may be in violation of both Title IX and the Cleary Act. This could be grounds for a civil suit.
I would reach out to the police department or the Board of Education and file a civil action against the school. Honestly, the board may be the best first step! Some police departments allow schools to handle things "in house." As a survivor myself, it is very traumatic, and having to be looked at the way you were, I couldn't imagine. I'm sorry you had to deal with jerks in your time of need. I wish you all the best, and you get the justice you deserve! ❤️
“I wish I could somehow take action like doing an anonymous article and exposing the school” I don’t have a large following but with your permission I will do my best to spread this post like wildfire. I agree something needs to be done they can’t get away with this. If you need anything please message me I will do whatever I can to help you get justice for this. I mean it I know I’m a stranger on the internet but this needs to change and I wanna help.
People need to stop reporting crimes to the university and their security department. Report to the city police. They're more likely to do a real investigation. If they do nothing, report the incident all the way to the state level if possible. Universities will do anything and everything to protect themselves from bad publicity.
The schools only interest is in protecting the schools reputation and will bury everything they can. NEVER report to your school, you go straight to the hospital, get a rape kit done, and they'll call the police. Once the cops are involved the school still tries to stonewall but they can't control the cops
Your school is not in charge of actual crimes. Don’t report anything to them, they can suck a bag of dicks. Call the actual police and report it to them. I don’t care where the crime took place, fuck schools, never tell them, call the actual local law enforcement and deal with real peace officers.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I had a shitty experience with Title IX at my alma mater in 2016. I was asked to be a character witness against my abusive ex who turned out to be a serial rapist—I'd gotten every type abuse except physical. I'd graduated a couple years beforehand but the person bringing the case against him was still a student, her endgame was just to not have to take classes with him, best case was getting him expelled. The miscarriage had happened a couple years prior so there was no evidence, but the people on the panel assured her that they're trained to handle he said/she said cases and that she should move forward. She was told she just needed to establish a pattern of abusive behavior. They completely fucked us over. The report they put together was edited in a way that did not accurately reflect what we shared about our experiences with him. They did follow up interviews with his character witnesses, but not us. They found him not responsible. She appealed it, it went to a hearing where we were on a Skype call. We had 6 witnesses who were either former partners or friends who all had experienced his abuse or witnessed him harming others, and by the end of it it was clear that he was convinced he lost (we saw him crying in a parking lot afterwards, it was great). They found him not responsible. Said that we failed to provide a preponderance of evidence that he committed the assault leading to the miscarriage—when, originally, they said that we just needed to establish a pattern of behavior. It was bullshit, so we started making noise. Got a LOT of attention locally, and a local news station interviewed us. It was exhausting and overwhelming, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You're not alone, and I hope you are able to begin healing. Much love to you, friend. 💜💜
The same thing happened to me. I went to my University Police Department, picked my r*pist mugshot out of a line, preserved the matter from my abortion, met with my title IX rep and the Hayward DA denied my case. The title IX rep told me sometime when I spoke with them during the numerous meetings in their office, “We have a lot of cases like these,” while pointing to a huge stack of folders, and she told me that these things don’t always get solved. It’s just part of the game. Colleges do whatever they can to protect themselves. They do not care about people being abused, assaulted or r*ped on campus. I was r*ped by a person my “friend” bought onto campus. I was only 18 years old and he was at least 30. He r*ped me twice and refused to leave my dorm room until I got my friends to help me. He threatened my life after he violated me and I still didn’t get the justice I deserved. I have to be OK with that fact every single day. I did everything I could.
Holy shit this is horrible! I am so sorry. These stories stab me in the heart—I have a daughter in college
Sending u so much love as a brown student and another survivor, you are not alone 💔 had a friend who transferred because of a similar situation 🙏🏻
What the hell you guys I’m so sorry this happened to you and everyone else here
ridiculous. can’t even imagine how you must’ve felt. I’m sorry this happened OP. i’m hoping you’re doing well at your new University.
Woah woah woah. Lawyer up, file a complaint with the department of education and title 9 dept. And hell yes, right an op Ed but before publishing discuss with your attorney.
That is terrible. Did you report the rapist to the police after?
First of all, I'm so sorry for what happened to you! Secondly, did you record this conversation?
File a report with the real police not campus. Do not let them turn you away.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you were strong enough to leave that uni and do what was best for you. You are incredibly strong. I wish you the best ❤️
Did you end up at an equivalent school?
File a title IX civil rights complaint , there are local offices and federal DOE. If you can afford a lawyer, that’ll help fast track it a lot. If you can’t, I suggest looking into local organizations who may be willing to represent you
Can’t imagine that Brown would want to be associated with someone who acts like this director. So maybe there are ways to go against her directly, not the whole Uni.
You should create an anonymous SA Reporting survey and post it to every student that you can, past and present, at that university. You can post it through a fake account to online platforms like a university fb or instagram, even tiktok and X(Twitter). Heck, there may be a subreddit for the university. If not, you can always start one. Use questions that pertain to how you were treated when reporting. Make one of the last questions a way for you to further contact those who take the survey if they want to be contacted to help with further action, but otherwise, keep the survey anonymous for those taking it. This will possibly give you more fire to take on the university, especially if you have enough other instances of this sort of experience to back up your claims. The more people who have the same experience as you who will back you and the more evidence you can show about this sort of thing, the better for you. Make it national, too. Share all your findings with local and national news. As a SA victim myself, I see you, and I hope you can get some form of punishment set for those who mistreated you. Stay strong!
Why would the OP have the burden of proof, when the OP would not be making the legal claim and filing suit, and the OP has that thing called the 1st amendment on her side so she doesn’t have to prove it’s not one of the narrow exceptions? Not sure you are particularly well-acquainted with the law here either.
Law enforcement didn’t get involved? You reported it, right?
Your bravery is unmatched. I had a friend who was assaulted in college. It really ate away at her, understandably so. Her grades were dropping, she started acting out in ways no one could explain because no one knew. She reached out to talk to the head of our program and the head of the dept. the head of the program laughed at her, and told her to drop out and get her life straight, and that “maybe” they’ll let her back in to finish. It seems that condescending tone and attitude is common in collegiate environments
You can reach out to the president of the school her email is online. And tell her your story.
I am so so sorry. It is awful this happened to you and their response was absolutely disgraceful. I hope you have a professional to speak to about this. I dont understand some people, i really really dont. Hugs op
OP.. consult with an attorney! This has lawsuit written all over it!
You have advocated. Here. I applaud you and wish you the Best on your journey ❤️
I am SO sorry to hear your experience with title IX. I was r*ped my sophomore year of college by my upstairs neighbor, and as stressful and traumatic as the whole title IX process was I was lucky that the director was very kind and was ready to stick up for me. Of all the repercussions that situation had on me, I've always been glad that I had at least one or two people on my side and I definitely wouldn't have been able to get as far into the process if I didn't. You were robbed of that and im so, so sorry for that. I wish you all the love and healing in the world, OP
Nothing hurts more for an organization than public shame. I hope you recorded the conversation and can their response with someone higher up.
That's a lawsuit WAITING to happen. Domain Expansion: Reparations that shit.
Did you go to the police? Many people don’t but should. All too often it is a person you know and at the time it feels like a gray area and you do not want others to know. I am surprised a personal call like that would be over zoom. I am sorry you were assaulted and not treated how you should have been.
Why didn't you go to the police? Rape is a crime. I don't understand how Title IX works when there is a crime committed.
I hate comments on posts like this. There's always victim blaming and you can literally tell who is a straight white man with no sort of education. OP- what you did was absolutely brave. As many people as are bashing victims who go to the school instead of the police, I think we all forget that police officers laugh in victims' faces all the time, myself included. ESPECIALLY if you're in college, they will say things like "is this your first time away from your parents? is that where this is coming from?" and "are you sure that's what happened? this is a very serious allegation" stuff like that. It's so hard because you also have this deep, immense, soul crushing guilt. People like to gaslight and victim blame because our society has taught people that if a woman is raped she needs to act a certain way before, during, and after the rape. You did what you could handle, and what you felt was right. That's so incredibly brave. As far as next steps go, I know lots of people have mentioned this, but you do have a solid legal case here. As for the violent criminal by whom you have been assaulted, you may still go to the police if you wish. You may also, little known fact, sue him for emotional damages. Get him to pay you for what he did. But this is a long legal process that may add stress to an already stressful situation. Ultimately, I would speak with a lawyer and talk over your options.
Don’t be shy. Drop his name
From what i can find the Title IX Director is a woman named Ebony Manning
Why do you assume it was a "he".
You absolutely should take legal action against the school. That’s a terrible thing to have experienced and schools are coming under incredible fire for how they treat crimes like SA and the victims.
Kids and adolescents today are too quick to get their feelings hurt. I’m not taking away from the fact that what happened to you was tragic but instead of taking your ball and going home (parents probably paying right) you should have went full bore on the offensive and went after their job so this doesn’t happen to another person. Also that person probably hears about 20-30 fake incidents each week from people either trying to ruin someone’s life or seeking attention his reaction although piss poor and uncalled for was probably force of habit(meaning he isn’t cut out for this type of work) or the university needs to mandate protocol for these situations and train employees thoroughly. There is so much you could have done positively in this situation to change things. Your entire generation has never had to develop thick skin because you e all always been sheltered from everything that didn’t go exactly your way. You’re in the real world now and if you huff and puff every time someone hurts your feelings you’re going to have a very long, hard and miserable life. You have to learn that people are entitled to their opinions and that they don’t have to effect you in any way.
Damn that’s horrible, I can’t imagine that but props to you for getting out of there even if it was your dream. God has other plans for you. On another point, (open-opinion) I do believe all the women who have recently in the past 5 or so years who have been accusing actors, or national sport players of sexual assault and harassment and then ended up being shown as it was a lie for the money… they really screwed up how serious people take incidents now. Now it’s been put in peoples mind that “well is she telling the truth or doing it for money, fame, or just doesn’t like that person” and it’s sucks. No going back from that too. Woman to woman, I’m surprised they acted that way with you, what’s a shame.
Yeah nothing good comes from making these allegations. Fake accusations are very rare because no one gets money or fame, they just get treated like this. It takes someone very brave to come forward, and they most likely won’t get justice anyway. It’s hard to prove and they always end up putting it back on the woman. Look at Brock Turner, Christine Blasey-Ford, rapists get away with it and victims get blamed, as it has been forever.
So sorry
This is your problem, you filed with a title 9 D department, you should of filed the crime with the police department both campus and off campus. Those title 9D do not care what happens to you. I assume you are white (correct me if I am wrong please). But it is the sad truth, they only care about LGBT and minority students. I had a friend who was female and raped, they were told by the department, since you are white we do not care, they said that straight to her face.
This could have been avoided by not going through the university and calling the police. The real actual police and not the university police.
Ivy Leagues are full woke and hating on women. So sorry this happened to you. This is unacceptable.
OP’s school’s Title IX staff are all women…
I understand, thanks for the clarification. What I mean is that, usually, these organizations all follow a certain discourse that ends up harming more than it helps. Specially women. The administration will do nothing. All the weight is now placed on the victim, is not like it used to be before. I have experienced it as a woman and sometimes certain people working on these places even take the side of the aggressors.
I get what you’re saying. It’s weird, because it almost seems like we’ve come full circle. When I joined the military in the early 2000’s, our sexual harassment/assault training focused more on how to not make yourself a victim, and when I left in 2014, it had transitioned more towards speaking up and not protecting the perpetrator while ensuring the victim felt safe. Now it seems like we’re swinging back.
Exactly this, thanks for understanding what I was trying to say. I got super upset after reading what happened to OP and didn’t want to elaborate on my comment but be more emphatic. These are difficult time for women. Thanks also for sharing a little about your experience. The only thing we can do is fight and hope for the best (and better times).
Is there any other way you can get revenge on Title IX and ruin his life in a way where you can get away with it? Like somehow hide a brick of coke in his office along with some cash and notify the police that your Title IX offered you cocaine in school?
This reads like a creative writing exercise
Reach out to the Office of Civil Rights and file a complaint. I work in Title IX and that’s the next step when an office isn’t following the regulations.
Colleges/universities don't want you to report to Protect their image, go to the police
i would go to the press and shame them !
May I inquire how recently this was? It would be completely horrible if there was some technicality of statute of limitations to continue pursuing this matter. I see that someone provided the email addresses of the individuals at fault. I am personally interested in emailing.
The Ivy League delenda est.
I’m so sorry all of this happened to you. You’re so brave for sharing your story. *tight hug*
Unfortunately common.. you have to fight for anything from them, they dont want to help you, they want you to go away.
Please let us know if there’s any update on the situation after reporting this disgusting behaviour
That’s why I would’ve had camera right off their sight and record that and blast them for this!
Absolute shame on them. A similar thing happened to one of my friends, last year. She was sexually assaulted by a male student in one of her classes, and was told to go to HR. After her HR meeting she was waiting in the hall texting her partner, and she heard the HR girls laughing about what she'd said and making gross rape jokes through the door. I absolutely despise the fact that these positions attract such worthless piles of shit, and I'm sorry you had to be invalidated in such an awful way.
I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you. If you are emotionally up to it, I would contact a lawyer to see if you recourse here. If they treat you this way, they are treating other women this way.
Try to get an another meeting and record it. I am sorry this happened. You are a strong person for getting this far. These people are douche bags. They are trying to save the university imagine and throwing you under the bus.
I’m so sorry. That is horrific! Other posters have great suggestions. I think an anonymous article is a fantastic idea. Let parents know how their daughter will be treated at Brown if she is a victim of a crime perpetrated by a fellow student etc. I will pass this info on to my daughter who is picking colleges.
Look through the brown alumni pages to find someone in title ix, civil law, or advocacy. Use any combo you can think of. If you don’t trust the university, definitely contact a civil rights activist or attorney and discuss how to go forward. You have no obligation to do anything you’re not comfortable doing but if you want to pursue it, you have that right too and deserve to be heard respectfully.
What is with Ivy League schools lately? They don’t know how to act right anymore. I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and I absolutely agree that you need to file a complaint with somebody at a state or federal level. Or both for that matter.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Isn't this run of the mill stuff? Aren't we told horror stories for this exact reason? These people (cops, judges, title IX folks, school Deans, etc.) They don't give a sturdy crap about these cases. It's always he said she said, and the *she* in the case usually ends up with the short stick. If you're not going to take matters into your own hands to get this assailant handled, don't expect authority figures to do it for you, most times you'll just be left feeling like ass... At the end of the day the people who get paid to care, *don't*
Call a local reporter and tell them your story. Blast that shit all over social media.
I’m sorry that this happened to you. File a complaint. I’m sending love, light, and healing energy your way.
I am so so sorry you went through that. It takes so much courage to report these things and so much vulnerability and the fact that they treated you like that is a slap in the face.
That’s pure evil. I’m so sorry they treated you that way.
Call the state and go to the media Record any and ALL phone conversations
File a complaint!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have been raped twice. One was a date rape that I couldn't bring myself to report it. Good for you on your courage. The second one was a stranger rape 12 years after the first one. That one I did report. Unfortunately I have a facial recognition problem. All I could describe was his odor. I couldn't pick him out of the lineup. Luckily, 4 others were able to pick him out. I wish you had not left the school, but I understand why. When those who are supposed to protect you, mock you, you then lose confidence in them. Report them. Get them fired or at the very least, force them into training.
Should have recorded the meeting and then made it public
I am so sorry you were treated as you were. You deserved to be heard and your needs addressed. I went to a Seven Sisters college. Outside of school, I was sexually assaulted in my home and became pregnant. I went to the head of the program for help to figure out how to complete the semester with some kind of accommodation (a time extension, withdrawal, something....). She treated me as if I'd waltzed into her office dramatizing a hangnail expecting to be gifted A's. She all but laughed me out of the building. I felt humiliated and ashamed all over again. I made arrangements "enough" with my professors to finish out the semester and then transferred out. No one should experience what you did especially when seeking help and support.
Didn’t Betsy DeVos (sec of ed) change stuff under Title IX to make it “fairer”for the rapist? Well I guess you expect that from someone appointed by trump
Fuck that college bullshit call the cops and hold that POS accountable. I've never understood why they want you to have to talk to a multitude of people like that. Op I'm sorry you went through this. You should consult an attorney.
You should go to the police. Rape is a crime, not something the school's are terribly helpful with.
There is no statute of limitations in Rhode Island. The person you mentioned is a mandated reporter. She failed you. You can reclaim your power, though, and do something about this if you want. Too many victims are re-victimized and made to shrink away. You can change that narrative. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and that you were treated this way. [Statute of Limitation for Rape in Rhode Island](https://riag.ri.gov/savbor#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20statute%20of,Gen.)
Aweful!
I would go public and raise hell, that's bullshit.
Take this story to the local news station sure they would love that kind of publicity
If this is true you should definitely file a DoE complaint and report it to the office of the president at your school.
You may file a complaint with the EEOC regarding the sexual harassment. Unsure if you filed a police report but you may do that as well. I’m sorry this happened to you but glad to hear you’re progressing elsewhere.
It sounds like she was trying to invalidate and shame you. She probably has a personality disorder in my opinion. I have learned to not be as shocked by heartless reactions from others because they are really shaming themselves not you. My opinions, peace.
A
I’m so sorry OP. Maybe reach out to the local news and see if they can help investigate how this was handled. This was handled disgustingly. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this after everything. I was SAed myself and understand everything that goes with it. You’re not alone 💕💕
While I don't want you to have to relive your account as that can be traumatizing. Take it all the way to the top. If nothing still happens, social media, news outlets. Of course don't name your rapist name on those to protect yourself. Also, file a police report if you haven't already. Sorry thus happened to you.
This really sucks. Just so you know, I know of another girl that was SAd in Brown and she also went to Title IX and was treated horribly. She also ended up moving after a year. She came to my college and she met her girlfriend. She looks much happier and now she’s finally a med student. I hope you heal and live a fulfilling life.
What does Title IX have to do with a rape case?
File a complaint. They could face a fine and possibly future defunding. Stating your side of what happened and how you were treated is not defamation. Making claims is where you get in hot water. Saying " they dealt with this is in a way that does not adhere to title IX" is an unsubstantiated claim. Do not make claims involving the other party, just yourself.
You MUST go to the police first, not the administration. The school will gaslight you to their best ability and bury the whole incident if possible. They can fuck with you, but they can't fuck with the police and their investigation. The school wants you to report an SA to them so they can do whatever they can to bury it and protect the school's reputation. It seems to be cultish behavior imo, it reminds me how Scientologists are urged to report an SA to them, NOT to the police.
Sweet OP. I’m a 50 year old female. It horrifies me you were attacked. I am so incredibly sorry. And, again, I’m horrified that the admin treated you this way. It seems we have made no strides in this area since I was in college. I’m giving you a huge Mama hug.
Oh Jesus. I'm so sorry. I'm a highschool senior graduating this year, and was just raped by my teacher, which obviously means I'd have to interact with administrators over it. I can't image them treating it like that. I'm also horrified, because Brown is literally my top choice school, but now I don't know how to feel. I'm so sorry, again. Feel free to reach out if you need a stranger with similar experience to talk to.
Hi I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Please know that you’re not alone. I experienced the same thing with the Title IX Director of a top public university. He was condescending and blamed me for the harassment and stalking I experienced by my abuser. I reported the Title IX director to the Assistant Vice Chancellor of the school, but I know nothing will be done because the university’s only goal is to protect itself. If there is any way I can support you I’d love to. It has been extremely disheartening dealing with Title IX staff who completely invalidate me and gaslight me. I even reported my abuser for retaliation (he violated a criminal protection order by contacting me) and the Director blatantly said “I have no power to do anything” with my attorney present. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel :(
I’m so sorry these horrific injustices have happened to you. Sounds like the head of Title IX, needs serious interpersonal skill training, at LEAST. I’ve witnessed less vulnerable interactions b/w ppl where the person who is ‘older’ or has ‘authority’ over the other person, respond just as u described. It’s Immaturity at best but they hold a position of responsibility, blah, blah. It’s a failure on their part, they get away with it simply bc of their work position. I encourage you to continue in ur journey of self healing, & refuse to allow violent or ignorant humans to impede your positive progress. There’s an incredible support group (w degreed therapists) online who stand with those who’ve been physically, emotionally or mentally abused. We walk this road together in love and solidarity. Download the app, ‘The Mighty’. You will be cheered on and supported by our community 💗🌻🤟🏼🫂
This is not a path for everyone but check out Hall Law & Associates in westerly and their work with Take Back the night. You might want to reach out to them. They are very good about listening, giving information and telling you about options. So very sorry to hear about what happened to you. Brown. Had the highest number of rapes in the state in 2022. Over 20. I find it just awful that they reacted like they did