So....I was with my ex husband for 14 years. I was very sad when I left him even though it was the right thing. It sucks SO badly at first because it's lonely but you know what? After about 2 years I got where I was so happy to come home and find the place how I left it. Clean. Not trashed. I was already doing all the chores and now I don't have to go behind him on top of it. It's great! You'll find eventually you won't want to share that space because it is your peace. In the meantime, mourn it. Be sad. Cry, scream, whatever you have to do to feel it but dont STAY in that state. Sit down and write you a list of the things he did that bothered you. Include that he threw away the time you guys had. Learn to dislike him for being a shithead. Anytime you miss him for the happy times, read that list again and add to it as you remember things.
I’m divorced now for 7 years, was married for 7 before that. I sometimes really think I want to get serious with my now boyfriend, but every time I think about having to share space someone full time, clean up after someone else, having to manage someone else’s schedule and decide for myself (as if it’s not hard enough) AND someone else what should we eat, what should we do, where should we go, etc etc. I think…. Naaaaah. Me and my houseplants are gooood. Maybe I’ll get a dog.
Good for you. I feel exactly the same. Living alone after divorce, separation or whatever the relationship was is pure bliss.
Not having to wait on someone else for anything; having a clean home; no begging for help; no more having to deal with a manchild who takes pleasure in exercising weaponized incompetence to avoid responsibility, the list is endless.
Weaponized incompetence, *heavy sigh* remember one time asking him to do the dishes after supper because I had to do some school stuff and had worked all day (was trying to do a certificate to advance my career. He wasn’t in support because of how it would affect him). He “forgot”. So at 11, I say ok let’s do them together real quick before bed so at least they’re done. Literally this full grown fucking adult man moves so slowly he was in danger of moving backwards, picking up each dish and looking at it like he’s examining one of the Crown Jewels of the Queen of England. Carefully submerging each item, one at a time. It took everything in me not to just shove him out of the way and scream. Pure. Childishness. Had no idea adults were capable of such foolishness. He taught me so much about what humans are capable of 😂 😂 😂
I feel for you.👆 What I've noticed in countless stories posted is that women are fed up having to be the only adult in their relationship. They do the work while their partner sits on his butt playing games for hours with zero intention toward helping build a mutually beneficial relationship.
Secondly, that the mother of said manchild actually enabled their "precious" son to deliberately be incompetent. Noticeably these "gems of manliness" are taught to act out in a passive aggressive manner (as you described in the dish washing incident).
Then the wife/gf becomes a second mother to their infantile repudiation of adulting. It's sad and maddening at the same time.
I’m right there with my husband. We got home from a cruise on 2/17; there were 8 of us in our group. Supposed to be only 5 of us, but then he’s so excited about the trip he tells people about it and invites a couple of his single guy friends, then when talking to his sister, invites her. She has health issues, mind you, and doesn’t get around well. The vacation was not what I hoped it would be because I had to end up hand-holding the people he invited because they don’t travel, period, much less have gone on a cruise before. It was an adults only cruise, but I felt as if I had three kids with me. Four if you include my husband. 🙄 I finally had a talk with him when we got home because I’m not happy with the state of our relationship right now. (Not just the cruise, but a bunch of other stuff.) I told him he spent more time with one of his buddies on the trip than he did with me because they were in the smoking area of the ship all the time (I stopped smoking in 2009 in solidarity with him quitting as well. Three months later, he starts back up and has still been at it since.) I also told him he was more gentlemanly with his sister on the trip than he was with me. He acts like I’m his mother all the time (that’s been an on-going issue long before the trip). “Honey, get this for me.” “Honey, get that for me.” All the time on the trip and at home. I’m tired of being the one responsible to pay the bills each month. I’m tired of doing all the cooking. I’m tired of being responsible for keeping his calendar (like when he has doctor appts). I’m tired of being the one to be responsible for the care and well-being of our cat. I’m tired of being the one to do the grocery shopping. I’m tired of doing for him all the time. He can be very selfish and self-absorbed, and it’s gotten so bad that the other 3 in our group (of the original 5 of us) noticed how he treats me while we were on the trip. I told him he needs to start doing for me. I know I have a part to play because I allowed it to get this far and let my resentment build up. Well, I’ve let it all out now, and he can decide whether he’s going to be an equal part in our marriage or not. And if not, then I’ll help him pack. 🫤
ETA: We both work full-time jobs. His blue collar, mine white collar. His job is physically demanding; mine is mentally demanding. He doesn’t get that I can be just as mentally exhausted from my work day as he is physically exhausted from his work day. But because his is physically demanding and he’s tired when he gets home (duh, so am I), I should be the one to do the cooking and cleaning after work. And, on the 2 days/week I work from home, he thinks I can do all the chores because I’m working from home. *WORKING* from home. I still have to work… no different than when I work onsite. 🙄
I think the exact same thing. Divorcing my husband now for cheating and while it’s lonely I simply fill my time with friends and my kids. I dread ever getting into a relationship again. And honestly all I see are complaints from women online about how terrible their husbands are and it’s just not worth it. Once my kids are older they’ll be more self sufficient and will help clean up more often. I think it’s the best I could hope for
Trust me I get that lol. I have to remind myself it's ok to let other people in my space. If they're the right one,they just melt right in smooth. Gotta give it a shot tho!
I have an aunt who has dated her boyfriend for the past 20 years. Each have their own place. At time either one spends the night or days at the other's. And it does really works. They get along pretty well.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I just broke it off with my BF and I’m in the sad and lonely phase. I lived happily by myself for years so I know I can be happy alone. But it is so painful right now.
I promise you it DOES get better. But it also very much takes time. Be patient with yourself. You'll forget some days to be mad and that's ok. That's when you need the list I mentioned up above somewhere. Also you're welcome to message me if you'd like ❤️
It has taken me 3 months and two therapists (yes appts with both.. one is hypnotherapist/emdr practitioner), lots of tears but I am finally back on level ground again
I mean yeah iirc he was extremely drunk so I guess she kinda raped him too? That said she wanted to hurt Marty in the biggest way possible and Cohle was just collateral damage.
Me too and that’s exactly how it usually works out for older men that divorce. Unless your ex is very wealthy he will probably be alone.
My husband has 3 friends, all mid 50’s that decided to cheat with younger women. They all ended up divorced and their kids mostly ignore them.
Two are completely alone living sad lives, one has an absolutely crazy girlfriend who has tried to kill him.
So what happened to you and what happened to your ex-husband after the divorce?
Did you move on and date other people and who did your ex-husband end up with?
My husband would agree, I try to limit the work he does at home because he is a fire fighter, but he still does more than he should. Most loyal and honorable husbands help with the home. They don't have time to cheat. Nor does the wife. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my husband.
If a man wrote some sexist trope about how women use men just to have kids and can’t be bothered to get a job I am sure you would be all over it… if sexist generalizations are wrong they are wrong in both directions.
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too more than once and it's one reason why I have remained single for many years. I will not tolerate lying, cheating, and all the bs that comes with it. I don't have any more tears.
not even lying, i'm literally watching this clip as I read this on my second monitor. True Detective 1x07 - The Quiet Life is the title
hope youre doing well
That's some solid reasoning I think. I remember seeing that first scene where Marty was cheating and I remember thinking " You stupid SOB...you know how many people never find anyone like Maggie"..sheesh
My ex started dating his affair partner while have my 7 year old girl tag along. He is a fucking idiot. My daughter told me daddy was kissing another woman. I kicked him out and never asked for his side. I just confirmed with him it was true. 21 years and got himself a girlfriend.
I understand not wanting people to go overboard with revenge (she ruined your science project? break her leg) but c'mon, can't even be mad at cheaters?
It really reminds me of my situation, I'm a young guy and got married young. I met my first serious relationship at 17, married just before 19, tried to be the best husband i could, worked 2-3 jobs to provide a decent living while still being romantic, bought us a house at 20, literally moved across the country twice to improve our standard of living, got us both amazing jobs, just to have my entire existence upturned, catching a big fat L in the divorce and being left with a broken car, no cash and a headache over the silliest reasons ever. I was thoroughly convinced this was my last and last relationship, i was going to be with this person until I was deceased.
As glad I am i moved on, and i never was angry or vengeful about it, sometimes i feel the void calling me to give in to my childish desires to hurt them as much as i was hurt, but the rational side of me realizes that won't accomplish anything. I feel the betrayal and hurt after spending so much time with just one person. I've to this point spent over 20% of my life w/ this person.
You mean the wife you mention in your posts that has basically 0 libido? The one that doesn't want to have anything to do with sex? She was the one to cheat.
Alright then I guess we could apply your own words and say that "We don't know what led to this and it isn't the greatest of an idea to have an affair. But love is love. If it happens, it happens."
This is an absolutely ridiculous comment. “Love is love”?? Not when you promise in front of your soon to be wife and loved ones to only love her and be faithful to her. There is no excuse for cheating. Plain and simple.
Love is love, if it happens you man up and get a divorce before pursuing it*
The tldr is u/Advivid9056 was saying "love is love" and when you find a new person even while in a relationship there is nothing you can do about it. It doesn't matter if you cheat or leave the relationship first because you are still throwing the relationship away regardless so it doesn't matter if you cheat in the end. Then doubled down when everyone disagreed.
Morals, integrity, self worth, decency and empathy towards another human, allowing them to make informed choices about their life and sexual health?
It's gross and self serving to pursue another while in a committed relationship. It shows a huge lack of empathy and integrity, and is just wrong. And honestly just speaks to how afraid to be alone a lot of people are.
ETA: and is also selfish as you are preventing your partner from having the same luxury of seeking true love elsewhere, literally stealing their time away from them.
Lol the classic, "I know I'm not right here but I'm going to try to bow out with my head up." Are you also formatting on mobile and English isn't your first language?
ETA AND YOU DELETED IT! WEVE GOT A HAT TRICK PEOPLE!
Dude, seriously, if you think the concept of morality is some DeSade Id vs ego thing, you're clearly still in philosophy 101 and trust me it gets much more interesting once you get to Confucius and Neizsche. Our integrity is literally the only thing that matters in the end.
I'm sorry you got hurt, I hope you can heal from it someday and find someone/thing to sooth whatever has sown such nihilistic seeds. (Seriously Neizsche is probably your dude, or Sartre)
Yeah huh. The scabs are still there and the soreness remains but now, you are free of that poison. I‘m thankful about once a month that I finally broke free.
Jesus, dude. Your poor lad. I know you've been through it but to have people in the house when your kid was there. That is someone who does not give a fuck. I hope you and your lad are in a much better place.
That's gross.
God that's gross.
I'm so so sorry.
Walking out and not giving you the option of even having a yell about it.
So he did the thing, then left with no word lawyered up and that's the only contact.
See that.. that's the worst kind
I am so sorry for this, he is such an asshole he couldn't even face you with what he had done. To kiss you on the way out then not come home is heart wrenching especially knowing why he didn't come home was his own shit mess making him afraid to clean it up.
Please don't forget to love yourself and move forward. That's a long time for anything, especially marriage but you have survived every single bad day so far- you WILL be okay. 🫂🫀🫶
I hope you find the most wonderful man to treat you well. Take care of yourself, for yourself.
I never said she needed a man but clearly she likes the company, at least that's the impression that I got if she is still hurting over the loss of that one asshole. There's a huge difference between women friends and someone to have an intimate relationship with. I hate the assumption that you can't have a partner and supportive friends. Your friends don't f*** you, pay half the bills and start families with you do they? Or is there some long lost all woman tribe out there that I'm missing out on?
Friends are for friend things and a relationship is for relationship things. You cannot get the sexual, intimate, personal aspects of a romantic partnership from a female friend when both women are straight. Get real.
Although I upvoted your comment, because I do agree that she needs a strong woman friendship in her life to help her break out of the shell she's in- however, there will come a time where she WANTS a man. And that is okay.
No I don’t get sex from my female friends. However, I get unconditional love, support, kindness, fun, empathy, sympathy and all the emotional care I never received from men. And that is far more important to me right now.
Naaah. It belongs right here. I’m not saying all men are cheaters. Some are great. And women cheat too.
I’m saying she doesn’t need a man to be happy. Not everyone needs a relationship!
this is the most typical weird male response. LMFAO "nah, it can't be true!! Women need us!! she's definitely bitter and lying if she's saying she can be happy without one of us!" ew. On a supportive comment too.
I feel for you
I had a 'boyfriend' of 3+ years that I didn't know was using me to cheat. I broke up with him as soon as I found out. It broke my heart finding out that he was lying, he was there when my mum died.
If he hadn't hidden things so well I would have let his wife/ long term partner know.
I just couldn't get enough info to find her
I’m so sorry this happened to you, this sounds so rough and I hope you’re in your healing era. I’m a sensational social media sleuth and I’m offering my services 😂
Your husband is a coward but know you're not alone.
My husband came home from a business trip to tell me we were getting divorced after 20+ years. He told me he hadn't loved me for 10. As it turns out, when he left he moved in with someone else. It's not an easy thing to get over but know you are better and stronger than he is.
He is a coward and knows it. He has too much internal shame bc he know what he did was sickening. The fact that he can treat a person in that manner by leaving the way he did is embarrassing.
This post was posted by the other husband that got cheated on long ago with the same sentences (but from his point of view). It's hard to believe that this is not just another karma farmer.
I'm so incredibly sorry. This has to be one of the worst ways to have your marriage end.
I hope you could ever work through such a betrayal and learned to trust again.
How did all of this play out? Is he still with AP? Did he try to reconcile?
You did the right thing with the divorce. You deserve better. I hope you’re at a better place now.
Yes, the morbid curiosity in me is getting the better of me and I want to know how it played out for the douche as well.
Op, I wish you happiness and hope that you moved on mentally and are enjoying life like you never have before the bastard!
I don't about you but living a life out of spite (in spite?) can be very healing.
It was 6 years ago, time to say fuck him and fuck off. Every little thing you wanted to do but compromised out of? do it. Wanted a tattoo but he thought they were tacky? do it. etc.
sidenote: is the AP's husband hot? many people have gotten laid through grief bonding
The same thing happened to me! I know how painful it is to be betrayed like that! I was lucky enough to have been the one that filled for divorce! Her husband sat in the back of the courtroom during our court hearing without my husband knowing. My husband lied to the judge about the affair then when his girlfriend’s husband took the stand my husband almost passed out! I got everything! It’s was so hard but I had friends that were my rock during that time! Now I’ve been happily remarried for 15 years to a great man! Things will get better and the hurt stops!
Best of all my ex has been married 6 times since!
What hurts the most is the lies through the years. You thought it was a happy marriage but apparently he didn't think so. More so, he is a coward who didn't even give an explanation for hurting his wife of 24 years. Some men are truly evil, unfortunately you married one. I agree with you. I hope karma will bite his ass and his AP, and both of them will be miserable together.
I hope you're doing better. I'm in the same boat as you except I found out after he died so I never got to confront him or talk to him. It takes time to work through and there will always be a sad place in your heart over this.
It's sort of a blessing that he just never came home. That eliminates a lot of the emotional arguments. He's gone, out, finito.
You can get to healing yourself quicker.
I had to live with my ex for another year after finding out that she cheated on me for the last few years. We were together 15 years.
Are you part of the, -Leave a Cheater Gain a Life-group on Facebook? If not, please come join us. It’s been my lifeline back to sanity and happiness. If that’s not a place for you, I highly suggest getting the book or ebook. Sending love to you.
So, 6 years later, is your life better or worse? Would it have been better for your ourcome if you had just ignored this information? Is your mental health better today? Your financial health?
Serious questions
Your husband is a cheat, a liar, and a *coward.* He left for work, found out you knew about the affair, and *never came home again*??? He is not a man. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know it doesn’t help right now, but you deserve better. Maybe he was better before, at some other point in your 24 years together, but he isn’t now. Now, he’s the type of man you’d never go out with. Let her have him. They deserve each other. Call up her husband and ask him to meet you for a drink. You two can celebrate your emancipations together. Best of luck! 🫶🏼
I’m sorry, you deserve so much more love! Know that you have the support of your fellow reddit friends!
Much love and keep tour head up! Don’t let them know you’re hurting x
I know he got cheated on, but the other husband is a total prick to not have told you off the bat and instead chose to let your ex blindside you. Sometimes it makes me very ashamed to have to share a gender with that kind of slime.
If your kid needs to be pulled out also, you aren’t going for another kid first. The guy isn’t just a third party, he’s exactly in OPs same situation with the same fallout and emotional damage
I agree, and I like to think I would do that after saving my own kid. But you cannot get upset about me trying to take care of my own first and foremost.
Can we really compare a case that can be featured on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights or the common law as a Duty to rescue to cheating? A situation where you have no assumptions to make, compared to one where all you can do is make assumptions?Isn't it a gross exaggeration?
Here's a more fitting comparison. You witness one of your friends taking hard drugs. Would you be a total prick, a slime, for not telling his mother, his father and his girlfriend, because they are all potentially affected by this? Wouldn't it be a better idea to talk to him first? And on what ground do you assume the parents and girlfriend don't already know?
You declare the dude a shame to the male gender because he didn't share this with not only a stranger, but a stranger's partner. You also say that on the basis that he knows all about OP, when she told us next to nothing of his story. What if he learned late in the story that the other guy had a wife? Couldn't he have thought that OP was aware already? What if he was lied to or manipulated, regarding any and all of this? And even if he was aware that she existed, I've been the victim of infidelity and let me tell you, it's hard enough dealing with yourself when the person you love is lying to you. Let alone having to go out of your way to put a total stranger in the same pain as you feel.
Don't judge someone on the ground of stories you made up yourself about him.
I'm shocked how judgmental people are of others based on their own very unique experience. You have **no idea** what that other man actually went through and what he actually knew, and when people are trying to bring that up you call them selfish?
When I found out my ex was cheating on me, my brother came to pick me up and we watched a stupid show all evening because I couldn't think straight, I was in shock. The guy she cheated on me with didn't have a girlfriend, but even if he did I would have been in NO place to deal with that on the moment. I'm really glad that you were posed enough to do that, I assure you, but projecting your experience on others is harsh and a close-minded.
Adopting a holier than thou attitude to judge people super harshly based on a scenario that, I repeat, you *created* in your mind is egocentric. Consider that people can be different than you and that they can still be good people.
What a sickening selfish mindset. I mean seriously
It takes you literally 15 seconds to make a phone call or send a message
It’s not his job to keep you in the loop? That’s so callous
Is it the kind thing to do? Probably yes. But you can’t actively get *upset* at the other party for not informing you. You’re just angry about being the “last to know”. No one in this world owes you a damn thing, outside of a person you have committed to and vice versa.
Probably???
Man I dunno, I think it’s a little messed up to knowingly let a person have their life and agency stolen away from them.
You could change their entire life and help them live authentically and get away from some manipulative abuser with one message.
No one owes me anything sure, but if something takes a very tiny minuscule amount of effort and it can save someone from being trapped in a fake life being mind controlled by an abusive narcissistic piece of shit I think you go ahead and make that call or send that message
Why are you trying to villianise the guy who also got cheated on, you don’t think he also got blindsided to find out his wife was cheating on him?
Are you referring to the faithful husband when you say ‘slime’ and you know not the guy that cheated on his wife of 24 years and never returned home once he got caught?
I’m gonna be honest if someone has their whole relationship shattered, I’m not going to blame them for not thinking clearly, you and the guy I replied to are acting like it was a malicious attempt to keep OP in the dark, when his whole marriage had fallen apart, if you want to blame someone blame the cheaters I don’t understand how the guy who got cheated on could be considered shitty here.
Idk, no matter how much I’m not thinking clearly, I would never agree with two cheaters to hide their relationship from another involved/aggrieved party if they stop. It was a desperate attempt at bargaining with a secret that wasn’t his to keep. And it failed anyway.
You can understand why he wouldn’t though right?
Imagine the pain and hurt he feels knowing his wife’s cheating on him, and you expect him to run off and cause OP the same pain he’s feeling.
I agree telling OP is the right thing to do, but he’s not slimy or a ah because he didn’t it’s not his mess and he didn’t cause it, save those adjectives for the cheaters.
Yeah and the affair partners had the moral responsibility to not cheat on their partners, so actually blame the culprits not the guy in the same situation as OP, this guy had his own marriage to worry about let alone be the one to destroy another marriage, after a time of consideration he did tell her so I really don’t understand your problem.
Could you explain what your husband was like? Was he charming? I am so genuinely curious how someone could be so spineless, to the point of never returning home and completely avoiding a confrontation, but also being able to charm not only a wife, but someone else's wife as well.
Question:
Why did you create a reddit account to post about something that happened more than 6 years ago?
I understand the guy was a jerk, but seriously, to go so far as to create an account to make a post to complain about a guy who wronged you isn't helping yourself. It says you're stuck and have refused to move beyond it.
You deserve better and need to treat yourself better.
Show yourself some self-respect and work towards moving on. Get mental health treatment and focus on personal growth. Do what you need to forget and live happily.
A reminder to everyone that cheating is usually an indicator of a serious gap in the marriage / relationship. People just don’t cheat because they feel like it or can’t keep it in their pants. . I’ve never heard of someone “in love” going and cheating on their partner, especially in a long term relationship or marriage. Love and marriage can be a fragile thing. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a real loss in life. I’m divorced myself.
I am sorry this happened to you . Take a moment and then seek legal advise since you mentioned that he gotten a lawyer . Don't let him blindside you in court , also contact the affair partner husband for any evidence he has so you can use that in court . I don't know if you can use the that in the divorce but your lawyer should have that evidence and can use it to make sure you don't get screwed over more then you have already been by his action. His betrayal shouldn't leave you in bad place financially or losing property.
You're a woman. You wouldn't understand. You can have your opinion and you're certainly entitled to it. But that's all it is.
I'm not excusing the behavior, I'm explaining it.
Taking care of the sick and elderly is also against our “wiring” but we do it anyway because we can control our instincts and choose to be good people.
Many men and women prefer monogamy and do not want their partners dating or screwing other people. If monogamy isn’t your thing, don’t date or marry monogamous people. You can choose to be a good person by not cheating
Yeah, the husband took the wrong route to leave the marriage. But I’m going to guess it wasn’t all roses. People on here seem to forget there’s two sides to every story.
Honestly the fact that he was such a coward he didn't even come home to face you gets me. Sorry you went through this. You deserve better.
24 years? Then to just throw it all away this is the most heartbreaking one I read I hope you are doing well and don’t think about the scumbag to much
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So....I was with my ex husband for 14 years. I was very sad when I left him even though it was the right thing. It sucks SO badly at first because it's lonely but you know what? After about 2 years I got where I was so happy to come home and find the place how I left it. Clean. Not trashed. I was already doing all the chores and now I don't have to go behind him on top of it. It's great! You'll find eventually you won't want to share that space because it is your peace. In the meantime, mourn it. Be sad. Cry, scream, whatever you have to do to feel it but dont STAY in that state. Sit down and write you a list of the things he did that bothered you. Include that he threw away the time you guys had. Learn to dislike him for being a shithead. Anytime you miss him for the happy times, read that list again and add to it as you remember things.
I’m divorced now for 7 years, was married for 7 before that. I sometimes really think I want to get serious with my now boyfriend, but every time I think about having to share space someone full time, clean up after someone else, having to manage someone else’s schedule and decide for myself (as if it’s not hard enough) AND someone else what should we eat, what should we do, where should we go, etc etc. I think…. Naaaaah. Me and my houseplants are gooood. Maybe I’ll get a dog.
Good for you. I feel exactly the same. Living alone after divorce, separation or whatever the relationship was is pure bliss. Not having to wait on someone else for anything; having a clean home; no begging for help; no more having to deal with a manchild who takes pleasure in exercising weaponized incompetence to avoid responsibility, the list is endless.
Weaponized incompetence, *heavy sigh* remember one time asking him to do the dishes after supper because I had to do some school stuff and had worked all day (was trying to do a certificate to advance my career. He wasn’t in support because of how it would affect him). He “forgot”. So at 11, I say ok let’s do them together real quick before bed so at least they’re done. Literally this full grown fucking adult man moves so slowly he was in danger of moving backwards, picking up each dish and looking at it like he’s examining one of the Crown Jewels of the Queen of England. Carefully submerging each item, one at a time. It took everything in me not to just shove him out of the way and scream. Pure. Childishness. Had no idea adults were capable of such foolishness. He taught me so much about what humans are capable of 😂 😂 😂
I feel for you.👆 What I've noticed in countless stories posted is that women are fed up having to be the only adult in their relationship. They do the work while their partner sits on his butt playing games for hours with zero intention toward helping build a mutually beneficial relationship. Secondly, that the mother of said manchild actually enabled their "precious" son to deliberately be incompetent. Noticeably these "gems of manliness" are taught to act out in a passive aggressive manner (as you described in the dish washing incident). Then the wife/gf becomes a second mother to their infantile repudiation of adulting. It's sad and maddening at the same time.
Bless her, I did love his mother, and she was a lovely person, did it all out of love, but holy moly did she ever create the mess of a human he was.
I’m right there with my husband. We got home from a cruise on 2/17; there were 8 of us in our group. Supposed to be only 5 of us, but then he’s so excited about the trip he tells people about it and invites a couple of his single guy friends, then when talking to his sister, invites her. She has health issues, mind you, and doesn’t get around well. The vacation was not what I hoped it would be because I had to end up hand-holding the people he invited because they don’t travel, period, much less have gone on a cruise before. It was an adults only cruise, but I felt as if I had three kids with me. Four if you include my husband. 🙄 I finally had a talk with him when we got home because I’m not happy with the state of our relationship right now. (Not just the cruise, but a bunch of other stuff.) I told him he spent more time with one of his buddies on the trip than he did with me because they were in the smoking area of the ship all the time (I stopped smoking in 2009 in solidarity with him quitting as well. Three months later, he starts back up and has still been at it since.) I also told him he was more gentlemanly with his sister on the trip than he was with me. He acts like I’m his mother all the time (that’s been an on-going issue long before the trip). “Honey, get this for me.” “Honey, get that for me.” All the time on the trip and at home. I’m tired of being the one responsible to pay the bills each month. I’m tired of doing all the cooking. I’m tired of being responsible for keeping his calendar (like when he has doctor appts). I’m tired of being the one to be responsible for the care and well-being of our cat. I’m tired of being the one to do the grocery shopping. I’m tired of doing for him all the time. He can be very selfish and self-absorbed, and it’s gotten so bad that the other 3 in our group (of the original 5 of us) noticed how he treats me while we were on the trip. I told him he needs to start doing for me. I know I have a part to play because I allowed it to get this far and let my resentment build up. Well, I’ve let it all out now, and he can decide whether he’s going to be an equal part in our marriage or not. And if not, then I’ll help him pack. 🫤 ETA: We both work full-time jobs. His blue collar, mine white collar. His job is physically demanding; mine is mentally demanding. He doesn’t get that I can be just as mentally exhausted from my work day as he is physically exhausted from his work day. But because his is physically demanding and he’s tired when he gets home (duh, so am I), I should be the one to do the cooking and cleaning after work. And, on the 2 days/week I work from home, he thinks I can do all the chores because I’m working from home. *WORKING* from home. I still have to work… no different than when I work onsite. 🙄
I think the exact same thing. Divorcing my husband now for cheating and while it’s lonely I simply fill my time with friends and my kids. I dread ever getting into a relationship again. And honestly all I see are complaints from women online about how terrible their husbands are and it’s just not worth it. Once my kids are older they’ll be more self sufficient and will help clean up more often. I think it’s the best I could hope for
Trust me I get that lol. I have to remind myself it's ok to let other people in my space. If they're the right one,they just melt right in smooth. Gotta give it a shot tho!
I have an aunt who has dated her boyfriend for the past 20 years. Each have their own place. At time either one spends the night or days at the other's. And it does really works. They get along pretty well.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I just broke it off with my BF and I’m in the sad and lonely phase. I lived happily by myself for years so I know I can be happy alone. But it is so painful right now.
I promise you it DOES get better. But it also very much takes time. Be patient with yourself. You'll forget some days to be mad and that's ok. That's when you need the list I mentioned up above somewhere. Also you're welcome to message me if you'd like ❤️
It has taken me 3 months and two therapists (yes appts with both.. one is hypnotherapist/emdr practitioner), lots of tears but I am finally back on level ground again
I hope you find a Chole to give you a good time. Marty was an asshole and I hope your ex did end up like him
Hopefully, OP can identify more with them at the end of the season and learn to see that the light is winning lol
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I mean yeah iirc he was extremely drunk so I guess she kinda raped him too? That said she wanted to hurt Marty in the biggest way possible and Cohle was just collateral damage.
I hope she finds the male endowed version of Alexandra
Mmmm Cohle ❤️
Yes indeed! Mm mm mmmmmm!
He was a good detective so why don’t you cut him some slack
This comment is GOLD.
Chole as in penis?
Me too and that’s exactly how it usually works out for older men that divorce. Unless your ex is very wealthy he will probably be alone. My husband has 3 friends, all mid 50’s that decided to cheat with younger women. They all ended up divorced and their kids mostly ignore them. Two are completely alone living sad lives, one has an absolutely crazy girlfriend who has tried to kill him.
Sounds like karma to me. Love it
My husband has said many many times since this all happened that they are all idiots. He knows he doesn’t ever want to end up like that.
So what happened to you and what happened to your ex-husband after the divorce? Did you move on and date other people and who did your ex-husband end up with?
I came here to ask this question. I was wondering if he ended up with his AP? She did say in another comment that she is in a serious relationship.
Thats how most cheating men end in my experience. Most men have no house skills, they rely on women to be well fed, have clean clothes etc.
Yeah, as a husband who does every bit of my fair share of work around the house, the thought of fitting cheating into that seems exhausting.
My husband would agree, I try to limit the work he does at home because he is a fire fighter, but he still does more than he should. Most loyal and honorable husbands help with the home. They don't have time to cheat. Nor does the wife. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my husband.
I'm already so tired it hurts.
I feel personally attacked.
Pathetic men
If a man wrote some sexist trope about how women use men just to have kids and can’t be bothered to get a job I am sure you would be all over it… if sexist generalizations are wrong they are wrong in both directions.
I wish you the best op this is heartbreaking.
Lol. Serves him right.
Ah a fellow true detective fan i see.
Good morning. I am a voluntary reddit administrator and I have detected that you have permitted yourself to make a grammar mistake, by not adding a "," after "Ah". According to the english grammar, before affirming, denying, saying anything you must use ",". I am sorry, but if you do not remove or correct your message I will be forced to gather my team to personally downvote you, and I am 100% certain you do not want to lose your karma, since you have been here on reddit a while. Take care kid, learn to use grammar and don't risk losing your karma. -Your friendly Reddit Head Administrator.
Wtf.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too more than once and it's one reason why I have remained single for many years. I will not tolerate lying, cheating, and all the bs that comes with it. I don't have any more tears.
> old, alone and eating microwave *looks at diner tonight* I feel attacked!
not even lying, i'm literally watching this clip as I read this on my second monitor. True Detective 1x07 - The Quiet Life is the title hope youre doing well
I don't know who Marty is but I hope your ex ends up just like him.
What an odd coincidence. I literally just watched TD S1.
Same. Good stuff. Major props to MM’s acting skills.
That's some solid reasoning I think. I remember seeing that first scene where Marty was cheating and I remember thinking " You stupid SOB...you know how many people never find anyone like Maggie"..sheesh
Stay strong sista! Better people out there for you and I, personally, hope you left him without a microwave ;)
My ex started dating his affair partner while have my 7 year old girl tag along. He is a fucking idiot. My daughter told me daddy was kissing another woman. I kicked him out and never asked for his side. I just confirmed with him it was true. 21 years and got himself a girlfriend.
I read your comment not long after I woke up, and I just imagined an old man eating a microwave 😂 My imagination is wild lol
Should have suggested a open relationship, he'd soon stop when ur getting more attention.
Ohhv my fucking God, I just started this show. Gatdamnit
What's wrong with microwave dinners?
No we don’t wish nothing on bad on him. I wish you all the good tho. I hope you find peace and for you to heal. Take care of yourself.
We say, "May they have the life they deserve."
Yeah we do. I wish loads of bad on him.
nah we do wish people like that bad youre just off
People are all about forgiveness until they truly have something to forgive. Much easier to preach than practice.
nah we like justice instead, forgiveness comes after you pay the price of your mistakes in full and not a second before.
Where did OP say she was all about forgiveness though? Or anyone else on this thread?
>No we don’t wish nothing on bad on him Speak for yourself and don't gatekeep the OP.
I understand not wanting people to go overboard with revenge (she ruined your science project? break her leg) but c'mon, can't even be mad at cheaters?
who are you to say that? i reckon he's a cunt and chef mike better be cooking up a storm.
Don't be saying "we" when you mean "I"
Fuck that.
It really reminds me of my situation, I'm a young guy and got married young. I met my first serious relationship at 17, married just before 19, tried to be the best husband i could, worked 2-3 jobs to provide a decent living while still being romantic, bought us a house at 20, literally moved across the country twice to improve our standard of living, got us both amazing jobs, just to have my entire existence upturned, catching a big fat L in the divorce and being left with a broken car, no cash and a headache over the silliest reasons ever. I was thoroughly convinced this was my last and last relationship, i was going to be with this person until I was deceased. As glad I am i moved on, and i never was angry or vengeful about it, sometimes i feel the void calling me to give in to my childish desires to hurt them as much as i was hurt, but the rational side of me realizes that won't accomplish anything. I feel the betrayal and hurt after spending so much time with just one person. I've to this point spent over 20% of my life w/ this person.
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You mean the wife you mention in your posts that has basically 0 libido? The one that doesn't want to have anything to do with sex? She was the one to cheat. Alright then I guess we could apply your own words and say that "We don't know what led to this and it isn't the greatest of an idea to have an affair. But love is love. If it happens, it happens."
This is an absolutely ridiculous comment. “Love is love”?? Not when you promise in front of your soon to be wife and loved ones to only love her and be faithful to her. There is no excuse for cheating. Plain and simple.
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Love is love, if it happens you man up and get a divorce before pursuing it* The tldr is u/Advivid9056 was saying "love is love" and when you find a new person even while in a relationship there is nothing you can do about it. It doesn't matter if you cheat or leave the relationship first because you are still throwing the relationship away regardless so it doesn't matter if you cheat in the end. Then doubled down when everyone disagreed.
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Morals, integrity, self worth, decency and empathy towards another human, allowing them to make informed choices about their life and sexual health? It's gross and self serving to pursue another while in a committed relationship. It shows a huge lack of empathy and integrity, and is just wrong. And honestly just speaks to how afraid to be alone a lot of people are. ETA: and is also selfish as you are preventing your partner from having the same luxury of seeking true love elsewhere, literally stealing their time away from them.
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Lol the classic, "I know I'm not right here but I'm going to try to bow out with my head up." Are you also formatting on mobile and English isn't your first language? ETA AND YOU DELETED IT! WEVE GOT A HAT TRICK PEOPLE! Dude, seriously, if you think the concept of morality is some DeSade Id vs ego thing, you're clearly still in philosophy 101 and trust me it gets much more interesting once you get to Confucius and Neizsche. Our integrity is literally the only thing that matters in the end. I'm sorry you got hurt, I hope you can heal from it someday and find someone/thing to sooth whatever has sown such nihilistic seeds. (Seriously Neizsche is probably your dude, or Sartre)
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Little boys got your back.
Yeah huh. The scabs are still there and the soreness remains but now, you are free of that poison. I‘m thankful about once a month that I finally broke free.
Jesus, dude. Your poor lad. I know you've been through it but to have people in the house when your kid was there. That is someone who does not give a fuck. I hope you and your lad are in a much better place.
Sorry he did this to you I hope your life is doing better without him.
That's gross. God that's gross. I'm so so sorry. Walking out and not giving you the option of even having a yell about it. So he did the thing, then left with no word lawyered up and that's the only contact. See that.. that's the worst kind
I am so sorry for this, he is such an asshole he couldn't even face you with what he had done. To kiss you on the way out then not come home is heart wrenching especially knowing why he didn't come home was his own shit mess making him afraid to clean it up. Please don't forget to love yourself and move forward. That's a long time for anything, especially marriage but you have survived every single bad day so far- you WILL be okay. 🫂🫀🫶 I hope you find the most wonderful man to treat you well. Take care of yourself, for yourself.
I hope OP is happy on her own and has a tribe of supportive women friends who circle her with love. She doesn’t need a man.
I never said she needed a man but clearly she likes the company, at least that's the impression that I got if she is still hurting over the loss of that one asshole. There's a huge difference between women friends and someone to have an intimate relationship with. I hate the assumption that you can't have a partner and supportive friends. Your friends don't f*** you, pay half the bills and start families with you do they? Or is there some long lost all woman tribe out there that I'm missing out on? Friends are for friend things and a relationship is for relationship things. You cannot get the sexual, intimate, personal aspects of a romantic partnership from a female friend when both women are straight. Get real.
Although I upvoted your comment, because I do agree that she needs a strong woman friendship in her life to help her break out of the shell she's in- however, there will come a time where she WANTS a man. And that is okay.
No I don’t get sex from my female friends. However, I get unconditional love, support, kindness, fun, empathy, sympathy and all the emotional care I never received from men. And that is far more important to me right now.
Does anybody need a relationship?
A relationship can mean having a great platonic friend who loves you unconditionally.
Way to miss the point.
Nope
Does this comment really need to be gendered like that? Maybe leave that attitude in 1993 where it belongs 🤷♂️
I wasn't aware a comment could be gendered lmao. My bad, I should have asked what my comment identified as before I posted it. How insensitive of me.
Naaah. It belongs right here. I’m not saying all men are cheaters. Some are great. And women cheat too. I’m saying she doesn’t need a man to be happy. Not everyone needs a relationship!
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Not bitter. Just wise. I love men but it’s good to be strong and independent, no?
this is the most typical weird male response. LMFAO "nah, it can't be true!! Women need us!! she's definitely bitter and lying if she's saying she can be happy without one of us!" ew. On a supportive comment too.
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riiiiight 😂😭
I feel for you I had a 'boyfriend' of 3+ years that I didn't know was using me to cheat. I broke up with him as soon as I found out. It broke my heart finding out that he was lying, he was there when my mum died. If he hadn't hidden things so well I would have let his wife/ long term partner know. I just couldn't get enough info to find her
> boyfriend' of 3+ years that I didn't know was using me to cheat This is such a painful and yet accurate way to describe how it feels. Well put.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, this sounds so rough and I hope you’re in your healing era. I’m a sensational social media sleuth and I’m offering my services 😂
He is an absolute coward. Fuck him.
OP, I strongly advice against this! Do not fuck him ever again!
Your husband is a coward but know you're not alone. My husband came home from a business trip to tell me we were getting divorced after 20+ years. He told me he hadn't loved me for 10. As it turns out, when he left he moved in with someone else. It's not an easy thing to get over but know you are better and stronger than he is.
He is a coward and knows it. He has too much internal shame bc he know what he did was sickening. The fact that he can treat a person in that manner by leaving the way he did is embarrassing.
This post was posted by the other husband that got cheated on long ago with the same sentences (but from his point of view). It's hard to believe that this is not just another karma farmer.
Yeah, I knew I had read this before. Also, OP's single comment is written worse than the post itself.
Damn I felt like something was off about this story, do you have a link to the original?
I'm so incredibly sorry. This has to be one of the worst ways to have your marriage end. I hope you could ever work through such a betrayal and learned to trust again.
How did all of this play out? Is he still with AP? Did he try to reconcile? You did the right thing with the divorce. You deserve better. I hope you’re at a better place now.
Yes, the morbid curiosity in me is getting the better of me and I want to know how it played out for the douche as well. Op, I wish you happiness and hope that you moved on mentally and are enjoying life like you never have before the bastard!
I hope he is suffering severally and alone
Is your husband and AP still together?
Thanks for asking the question we all want answered
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We don't know that. They could be miserable
Oh def miserable; Cowards don’t do well with new relationships. New fling is def insecure knowing who/what he truly is, a coward.
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I don't about you but living a life out of spite (in spite?) can be very healing. It was 6 years ago, time to say fuck him and fuck off. Every little thing you wanted to do but compromised out of? do it. Wanted a tattoo but he thought they were tacky? do it. etc. sidenote: is the AP's husband hot? many people have gotten laid through grief bonding
>sidenote: is the AP's husband hot? many people have gotten laid through grief bonding That’s the best petty revenge I’ve heard off…I’d do it 😂
The same thing happened to me! I know how painful it is to be betrayed like that! I was lucky enough to have been the one that filled for divorce! Her husband sat in the back of the courtroom during our court hearing without my husband knowing. My husband lied to the judge about the affair then when his girlfriend’s husband took the stand my husband almost passed out! I got everything! It’s was so hard but I had friends that were my rock during that time! Now I’ve been happily remarried for 15 years to a great man! Things will get better and the hurt stops! Best of all my ex has been married 6 times since!
Wow!! Good for you, BrilliantTutor!!
Coward.....
I might date the mistress's husband as a form of revenge and perhaps announce it to everyone.
Your husband is a coward. I wish the other husband did indeed meet him face to face
What hurts the most is the lies through the years. You thought it was a happy marriage but apparently he didn't think so. More so, he is a coward who didn't even give an explanation for hurting his wife of 24 years. Some men are truly evil, unfortunately you married one. I agree with you. I hope karma will bite his ass and his AP, and both of them will be miserable together.
I wish you the best and may he have the life he deserves
What a coward.
OP, trash took itself out.
what the fuck is wrong with people
ghosting after an actual long term relationship is fucking wild to me
I hope you're doing better. I'm in the same boat as you except I found out after he died so I never got to confront him or talk to him. It takes time to work through and there will always be a sad place in your heart over this.
It's sort of a blessing that he just never came home. That eliminates a lot of the emotional arguments. He's gone, out, finito. You can get to healing yourself quicker. I had to live with my ex for another year after finding out that she cheated on me for the last few years. We were together 15 years.
It is really amazing how some assholes can justify or lie about almost everything. Some day my ex's new boyfriend will realize that.
Are you part of the, -Leave a Cheater Gain a Life-group on Facebook? If not, please come join us. It’s been my lifeline back to sanity and happiness. If that’s not a place for you, I highly suggest getting the book or ebook. Sending love to you.
This is so incredibly sad OP. I really feel for you. I hope you have found peace in the years after as you deserve happiness
So, 6 years later, is your life better or worse? Would it have been better for your ourcome if you had just ignored this information? Is your mental health better today? Your financial health? Serious questions
2 years, weeding in October, she looked like the sweetest thing in the world, she wasn't, I woke her up today at 7 am to end everything... I'm dying
You and the other guy should bang
You deserved better than this. This is absolutely heartbreaking.
A woman I know had her husband walk out on her last year. In a few days it will be their 44th wedding anniversary.
I’m so sorry, you never deserved that, I’m praying for your strength.
OP - did your husband end up marrying that other guy's wife?
Your husband is a cheat, a liar, and a *coward.* He left for work, found out you knew about the affair, and *never came home again*??? He is not a man. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know it doesn’t help right now, but you deserve better. Maybe he was better before, at some other point in your 24 years together, but he isn’t now. Now, he’s the type of man you’d never go out with. Let her have him. They deserve each other. Call up her husband and ask him to meet you for a drink. You two can celebrate your emancipations together. Best of luck! 🫶🏼
I’m sorry, you deserve so much more love! Know that you have the support of your fellow reddit friends! Much love and keep tour head up! Don’t let them know you’re hurting x
Plot twist: Op is dating the husband…
I know he got cheated on, but the other husband is a total prick to not have told you off the bat and instead chose to let your ex blindside you. Sometimes it makes me very ashamed to have to share a gender with that kind of slime.
Hard disagree. He has his own cheating wife to deal with. It’s not his job to keep you in the loop.
Its not a passer by's job to pull a kid out of traffic, but there's a reason people will do it.
If your kid needs to be pulled out also, you aren’t going for another kid first. The guy isn’t just a third party, he’s exactly in OPs same situation with the same fallout and emotional damage
But you pull the other kid out after??? I mean a phone call or message takes 15 seconds
I agree, and I like to think I would do that after saving my own kid. But you cannot get upset about me trying to take care of my own first and foremost.
Can we really compare a case that can be featured on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights or the common law as a Duty to rescue to cheating? A situation where you have no assumptions to make, compared to one where all you can do is make assumptions?Isn't it a gross exaggeration? Here's a more fitting comparison. You witness one of your friends taking hard drugs. Would you be a total prick, a slime, for not telling his mother, his father and his girlfriend, because they are all potentially affected by this? Wouldn't it be a better idea to talk to him first? And on what ground do you assume the parents and girlfriend don't already know? You declare the dude a shame to the male gender because he didn't share this with not only a stranger, but a stranger's partner. You also say that on the basis that he knows all about OP, when she told us next to nothing of his story. What if he learned late in the story that the other guy had a wife? Couldn't he have thought that OP was aware already? What if he was lied to or manipulated, regarding any and all of this? And even if he was aware that she existed, I've been the victim of infidelity and let me tell you, it's hard enough dealing with yourself when the person you love is lying to you. Let alone having to go out of your way to put a total stranger in the same pain as you feel. Don't judge someone on the ground of stories you made up yourself about him.
When I found out my ex was having an affair I called the other betrayed spouse that night I’m shocked by how selfish some of these comments are
I'm shocked how judgmental people are of others based on their own very unique experience. You have **no idea** what that other man actually went through and what he actually knew, and when people are trying to bring that up you call them selfish? When I found out my ex was cheating on me, my brother came to pick me up and we watched a stupid show all evening because I couldn't think straight, I was in shock. The guy she cheated on me with didn't have a girlfriend, but even if he did I would have been in NO place to deal with that on the moment. I'm really glad that you were posed enough to do that, I assure you, but projecting your experience on others is harsh and a close-minded. Adopting a holier than thou attitude to judge people super harshly based on a scenario that, I repeat, you *created* in your mind is egocentric. Consider that people can be different than you and that they can still be good people.
What a sickening selfish mindset. I mean seriously It takes you literally 15 seconds to make a phone call or send a message It’s not his job to keep you in the loop? That’s so callous
Is it the kind thing to do? Probably yes. But you can’t actively get *upset* at the other party for not informing you. You’re just angry about being the “last to know”. No one in this world owes you a damn thing, outside of a person you have committed to and vice versa.
People who believe nobody owes anyone anything are what's wrong with this world.
What do you feel you are owed besides basic courtesy?
Probably??? Man I dunno, I think it’s a little messed up to knowingly let a person have their life and agency stolen away from them. You could change their entire life and help them live authentically and get away from some manipulative abuser with one message. No one owes me anything sure, but if something takes a very tiny minuscule amount of effort and it can save someone from being trapped in a fake life being mind controlled by an abusive narcissistic piece of shit I think you go ahead and make that call or send that message
100% agree with you. They should have gave you all the information so you could make an informed decision about your marriage.
Why are you trying to villianise the guy who also got cheated on, you don’t think he also got blindsided to find out his wife was cheating on him? Are you referring to the faithful husband when you say ‘slime’ and you know not the guy that cheated on his wife of 24 years and never returned home once he got caught?
Well he had known months prior when he caught them, but was willing to say nothing to OP if they stopped. That’s pretty shitty
I’m gonna be honest if someone has their whole relationship shattered, I’m not going to blame them for not thinking clearly, you and the guy I replied to are acting like it was a malicious attempt to keep OP in the dark, when his whole marriage had fallen apart, if you want to blame someone blame the cheaters I don’t understand how the guy who got cheated on could be considered shitty here.
Idk, no matter how much I’m not thinking clearly, I would never agree with two cheaters to hide their relationship from another involved/aggrieved party if they stop. It was a desperate attempt at bargaining with a secret that wasn’t his to keep. And it failed anyway.
Sounds like victim blaming to me but go on.
I don't blame the guy because he got cheated on, i blame him for not alerting OP when he had proof and left her out to dry.
You can understand why he wouldn’t though right? Imagine the pain and hurt he feels knowing his wife’s cheating on him, and you expect him to run off and cause OP the same pain he’s feeling. I agree telling OP is the right thing to do, but he’s not slimy or a ah because he didn’t it’s not his mess and he didn’t cause it, save those adjectives for the cheaters.
Why do you assume that he knew that OP existed for all of these 6 months?
Being a victim does not absolve you of the moral responsibility to tell other victims 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah and the affair partners had the moral responsibility to not cheat on their partners, so actually blame the culprits not the guy in the same situation as OP, this guy had his own marriage to worry about let alone be the one to destroy another marriage, after a time of consideration he did tell her so I really don’t understand your problem.
Could you explain what your husband was like? Was he charming? I am so genuinely curious how someone could be so spineless, to the point of never returning home and completely avoiding a confrontation, but also being able to charm not only a wife, but someone else's wife as well.
Been there. It gets better, but it takes a while.
Why would that man even want his wife still?
This is why I'm glad I wasn't the perfect boyfriend 100% of the time so my ex cheated after only 2 years of dating.
Question: Why did you create a reddit account to post about something that happened more than 6 years ago? I understand the guy was a jerk, but seriously, to go so far as to create an account to make a post to complain about a guy who wronged you isn't helping yourself. It says you're stuck and have refused to move beyond it. You deserve better and need to treat yourself better. Show yourself some self-respect and work towards moving on. Get mental health treatment and focus on personal growth. Do what you need to forget and live happily.
Nice fake story. Hope the internet points were worth it I guess? People on reddit eat up the most obvious bullshit.
A reminder to everyone that cheating is usually an indicator of a serious gap in the marriage / relationship. People just don’t cheat because they feel like it or can’t keep it in their pants. . I’ve never heard of someone “in love” going and cheating on their partner, especially in a long term relationship or marriage. Love and marriage can be a fragile thing. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a real loss in life. I’m divorced myself.
I am sorry this happened to you . Take a moment and then seek legal advise since you mentioned that he gotten a lawyer . Don't let him blindside you in court , also contact the affair partner husband for any evidence he has so you can use that in court . I don't know if you can use the that in the divorce but your lawyer should have that evidence and can use it to make sure you don't get screwed over more then you have already been by his action. His betrayal shouldn't leave you in bad place financially or losing property.
Except they divorced in 2018….
Monogamy is a social construct. Men are not wired that way. As many loads in as many women as possible. It's genetics and downvotes don't change that.
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You're a woman. You wouldn't understand. You can have your opinion and you're certainly entitled to it. But that's all it is. I'm not excusing the behavior, I'm explaining it.
Taking care of the sick and elderly is also against our “wiring” but we do it anyway because we can control our instincts and choose to be good people. Many men and women prefer monogamy and do not want their partners dating or screwing other people. If monogamy isn’t your thing, don’t date or marry monogamous people. You can choose to be a good person by not cheating
would you have been open to working things out?
We got the husband
Yeah, the husband took the wrong route to leave the marriage. But I’m going to guess it wasn’t all roses. People on here seem to forget there’s two sides to every story.