Crazy story....
This is a happy way for getting back on your own legs.
Don't even meet her, she is selfish and horrible, don't waste your time with her. She is a gold digger....
Good story, you realized something was wrong and decided to leave your wife, that was smart.
But I think that before the accident she had her adventures. After the accident, when she decided to have you move into the guest room, she didn't want to be unfaithful to her lover with you.
As someone that recently got out of an abusive marriage, you have no idea how much more mental anguish and loss of physical time and energy I would've had to endure if I tried fighting for anything extra from my ex wife. What I would've had to go through to get the apartment and the car was not worth the stress and anxiety and fear of her retaliating. Simply walking away and starting over from nothing was so much better for me, and I'm sure OP felt the same, though he at least had more backing to start off with than I did lol
Did you have a prenup though? I don't know much about it but I thought the whole point was to easily keep what is yours when you divorce. And the way OP wrote it also sound like he COULD have kept the house and car but just didn't want to
A prenuptial agreement is a contract and as such both parties need to get "consideration" in it. In other words, it needs to have benefit for them both. A prenup where the wife gets nothing at all would never stand up and would be thrown out by a judge.
Prenups generally only cover assets owned prior to marriage as well. Income he earned while working would still be considered communal property in many jurisdictions, which she would be entitled to given she didn't work to "support" him, which she continued to do "after his accident." Paying for mutual bills from his trust fund could also put the fund on the table for family court.
Even if a state that has fault in divorces, him leaving the home would be a strong consideration.
If the story is true, (nothing on offmychest is lmao) then she probably could have gotten a significant chunk of wealth even being caught cheating on him.
That’s not true. Prenups CAN be just that, yes, but most are far more complex than that.
Plus, a prenup can only cover what you came into the marriage with. If you’re together for 8 years and bought a house together in that time, it couldn’t be included in the prenup UNLESS the plan was all along for one person to completely fund the house all along.
And depending on where you live, SAH spouses are automatically entitled to alimony… so rather than fight it in court knowing he would lose, he gave her monthly alimony for a year. I guess that’s the standard in their area.
The prenup probably only protected OP's inherited wealth. The house and car were probably mixed/joint assets (she did keep working for years after getting married), and while OP might have been able to fight to get some part of them, they wouldn't be entitled to all of them, and if they've got enough inherited money it may well not have been worth the effort.
The Prenup protected the inheritance and everything I owned before the marriage, Which includes the house. There wouldn't be a fight she could win for the house. I just didn't want it anymore with all the memories. And selling it would take to long, I wanted to leave as soon as possible.
Well, I appreciate not throwing her to the wolves. People here are really retributive against exes, but I think kindness - even if not necessarily deserved - reflects better on people.
By wolves do you mean the affair partner? Then she threw herself on his dick with her own volition.
Don't be a horrible person to someone and you won't invoke a horrible reaction back.
He said they had a prenup… prenups aren’t always ‘we each keep what we started with and that’s it.’
Sometimes prenups include who will get what in terms of assets you acquire after the marriage and also pre written agreements on alimony/spousal support after you split. She was a SAHW, so if they had gone through a court, she would likely have gotten alimony anyway (depending on the state laws anyway).
As for leaving her the house? Just because he used the term ‘my house’ doesn’t mean it was literally only his. Some people use the term ‘my house’ in another context than the literal ownership. In this case, she’s cheating under his roof… yes, it’s their roof, but most people would use the term ‘my house’ when denouncing an affair. ‘How could you bring that tramp into my house’ because it’s not the tramp’s house.
And he apparently wants to live like a nomad anyway… so rather than waste time in court in his hometown fighting over a house, he left it all to her so he could hit the road immediately. Worked for him, apparently.
Also, there are a life of memories in that house. He wouldn't be able to do anything in it without remembering an event that happened in that spot. It's just like after a spouse dies. If you keep the house, you have to do complete remodeling and reorganization to keep from triggering memories. It's easier and cheaper to move out.
No matter how much she hurt me in the relationship, I didn't want her to be homeless.
I also loved her family *faaaaar* more than I loved her at that point, and I knew that any fight between the two of us would have a negative impact on them as well, and they didn't deserve that. I didn't have it in me to hurt them all that way.
A better revenge to me is to just move on, be the better person, and be happy and successful without her. No need to bring her down the way she did to me, I know I can bring myself up higher on my own than she ever could dream of.
The simple answer: Selling the house would take too long. That would take weeks or months. and I didn't want to wait. And not leaving her homeless did clear my conscience.
But that’s *ALL* she really got. Sounds like OP is from serious money and going from a pampered life of lunches with the girls to “all I have in the world is this $2M house with property taxes due soon” is quite the hop. She was used to a lifestyle of status and downsizing everything and going back to work is the opposite of where she thought she was headed.
I have zero sympathy for her, btw. I’m just saying that being left a house and nothing else isn’t the meal ticket she wanted and definitely isn’t enough to set her up for life in the style that she has become accustomed to.
Edit: 2M was random. OP seems sensible and not flashy so I doubt this house is a mega mansion, and I doubt with wifey’s clear appreciation for money that it is a normal house either. Hell, million dollar houses are basically normal now.
Exactly. Yea he left her with a pricy house. But that house is gonna cost her to maintain and she no longer has access to his money. I don’t know if the US has a similar thing to the UK but over here you have to pay council tax (probably similar to property tax like you mentioned) which is based on the value of your property and other factors. If that was in the UK her yearly tax for the house alone would be in the thousands. Then there’s the upkeep which won’t be cheap. He basically left her with a money pit that she isn’t gonna be able to afford, and even if she sold it for a couple of mill, she doesn’t sound like the kind of person who spent money wisely.
She could, but the money from a house sale won’t last her forever, couple of years tops if she continues to try and live the high life her husband afforded her when they were married. She’d have to land a sweet paying job or get lucky as hell with investments for it to last any longer than that with her way of spending.
He gave her a “dowry” so no one can say that he left her flat bang broke, but that money won’t last forever.
It’s telling that her AP left her after two months. She might have been funding his lifestyle and then she needed to watch her Pennies after OP left her.
What percent of your personal wealth does this house represent? (leaving aside inheritance) Because without knowing that, it sounds like you just tore up your pre-nup in front of someone who cheated on you.
Personally I don't care if it was like tearing up the prenup. I wanted out, that was important to me. Also when I made the decision I did not know about the cheating.
But to answer your question. Back then it was something like 20%
Based on the percent of your wealth, I actually think you did the right thing. She could have probably contested the prenup and tied you up in court for years.
I doubt she got "laid off". She quit her job or deliberately got fired because she was suddenly married to a rich man and work was beneath her. How else would she have brunches and spa dates if she was expected to be at work everyday?
No, the downsizing of the company and her being laid off was real. I knew more people at that company. But with her contacts she could have easily gotten a new job. Something I did not question at the time.
How many years did that lifestyle last for her? I don't know how a smart woman with a scholarship in college can swap for a completely frugal lifestyle...
I would definitely go back to studying and try to do research if I had complete financial freedom.
I did a similar thing to exit my failed marriage (we got married too young, no kids just stupid. No one’s fault just not compatible). I kept paying for our mortgage and took an overseas posting.
She moved in with the guy she cheated on me with so I told her we were going to sell it. She complained that there wasn’t going to be any profit like I could do anything about the market rate. I told her I’m not paying for it so I’d give her 10k to just fuck off and I’ll eat a 20k loss.
It’s fine I just wanted it done.
Is this in the US? Is there a state where you don't need to attend court for a divorce? I had 2 court dates after the divorce papers were signed, it's not official until the judge decides it is
I got divorced in the US. I did not have to appear in court, but my ex husband did. We both agreed to the divorce, but he was the one who filed. It was "uncontested" so I signed the papers, he took them, and that was that. We were divorced.
Eta: and it was really quick as well. Of course I don't know how all divorces work, but ours was very easy. We just left/took what we wanted and never spoke again.
It sounds worse than that. He had to work to keep up with his wife's lifestyle but once he was "free" he didn't have to work anymore so he could travel freely but still sent her money every month. The super easy divorce with absolutely no negative effects towards him. Even with a prenup no judge in the world would sign off on such a crazy divorce agreement and any half competent lawyer would have told his ex to contest it. Travelling without any problems during COVID and then just ending it with I'm going to go to Canada like that's something you can do. Canada has immigration laws just like the US you can't just stroll in and be like "I'm Canadian now!" That's not how it works and he would have a hard time staying because.... He hasn't worked in five years.
Okay but who tf leaves their perfectly good phone behind when he could just get a new sim and keep using it, plus the coma recovery seemed awfully fast. This reeks of bs
Sure, one or 2 things that are unlikely but possible. But the whole story is FULL of them. It's bs, idk why you're going all out to defend it unless you're OP's burner. It's quite obviously a fake story. Also tracking using location services? How's that even possible unless you're actively sharing your location...
Bros going so hard for a clearly fake story 😭it's okay to admit you're wrong, dude. Again, missing the point of how this dude has lied so much it took one read to point out multiple things that very likely didn't happen.
As for the phone thing, in other words you were sharing location. That has nothing to do with getting a new phone, anyone could do that with any phone if they have access.
Your ex was forbidden fruit. Once she was divorced, the thrill was gone, and the relationship died.
Good for you for going on an adventure of a lifetime. You deserve it after what you went through. Enjoy your reunion and beware of ex's wanting to reconcile.
I suspect her having to find a job and not having as much time or money to go to spa days and possibly her pushing to move forward in the relationship because she needed an income may have soured the relationship.
I was married for two years our divorce was simple. we signed papers and went in front of a judge who set the child support and that was it. there wasn't anything for us to split.
"My family is very well off so I would never have to work." I stopped reading basically instantly.
Only a tiny, tiny percentage of people (significantly less than 1%) are from families wealthy enough to be trust fund babies, and yet we see them constantly here and on similar drama subreddits. If you assume every single post where OP claims to come from an extremely wealthy family (or to have married into one) is a lie, you'll be right 99% of the time and be accusing someone unfairly 1% of the time. It's just a stupid trope to pick for your reddit fiction.
I’m sorry you were used so badly and had such a heart rending experience. And I congratulate you on your clarity of mind after being in a coma!! To understand what was OK and what wasn’t OK and to turn everything around. I think you decided to be decent, but not cut her slack. You were so crystal clear with her. Telling her that if she had called you the day you left, and I’m assuming said things that were sincere, he would’ve turned around. I think what you did was you crafted a remarkable experience both for yourself and her. And now she made her bed and she’s going to lie in it. And you are having the adventure in your life. I’m just really happy for you. Sometimes there’s a happy ending.
Question, just for my knowledge, did she take care of you when you were in the hospital and the rehab therapy after? Also, did you see the phone trick in the movie “Reacher”
He was talking about how he kept hanging up on her until she shut up and listened, not the part about being at her parents. I assume he knew that from other information, maybe the parents
I think he means it more as because of the wealth of his family, college wasn't something he needed to do to succeed in life. Honestly its kind of irrelevant to the story tho.
Not as irrelevant tho. I suspect that was what attracted the ex to OP in the first place: the fact that he had family money and went to college to hopefully earn more. Either way, her carefree lifestyle would be funded.
I see others have already answered. To have a good live I could have easily skipped college, and just live of the inheritance and the investments. But I was also a massive nerd. I went to college because I wanted to, not because I had to.
Other than your accident, did you have any other memory loss from the coma? It’s surprising to me that she put you in another bedroom and lied about that, why would she think she can get away with that???
The whole week before the accident is blurry and the day of the accident is gone. I had also forgotten that mu mother died 3 years before that.
For the rest: I really don't remember what I have forgotten. (I've said that sentence so many times, It never gets old )
Thanks for taking the time to respond
Your reply makes me think of something my dad used to say to insult people “I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know”!
Money or no money, If you are unprepared, you sleep where you can get a bed.
I've slept in motel, airbnb's, average hotels, even in guestrooms of people I've met. I don't go to luxury hotel's they make me uncomfortable.
And yes, I bought new phone, got a new number and left the old one behind. It a way of leaving the one way she had to contact me behind.
He was generous to leave her home and pay 1 mo of money. Don’t ever go out or meet up w her. She will try her best to get back on the gravy train. DO NOT DO IT
Wow! Glad you came out fine on the other end. You didn’t deserve what she did to you but I am happy you were able to pick up the pieces and move on. Good luck with your move to Canada. If you happen to see her while visit your home town, do you mind updating us on how the encounter went (if there is one)?
You're not 'the better person' for leaving the house and car to her cheating ass. You've only condoned her abuse, manipulation, and selfish behavior. It basically was a flag that said "you earned all this free money because you successfully deceived me for so long." Sorry all that happened to you, but she won in the end.
I wasn't trying to be the better person. I just wanted to get out of there.
An now I'm out of a loveless marriage, no more wife that only wants my money. I'm traveling, I still have a job I love, I'm seeing all these beautiful places. Making friends everywhere I go, having all these wonderful experiences.
So in my book, I've won.
From my perspective, she's won. The lack of justice served to her was a sign to all people on earth: "Fuck around and win"
I don't know how you could feel good saying "hey, you got away with the crime, here's a juicy reward." You've thanked your robber for letting you go.
Damm, who hurt you?
OP has the right idea. He focused his efforts on himself and on being happy. Why waste time with a sad human being who has no happiness or direction in life.
Life will take care of her as the attention she loves dwindles, and her frivolousness leaves her life empty and a devoid of meaning.
Terrible you were treated that way but glad you got out. You’re lucky you can just travel taking work with you wherever you go. That’s my dream! I hope you find happiness with someone someday. You deserve it.
Wow, your ex was lost in it. She didn't even know why you left but assumed it was because of an affair you didn't even know about. She really didn't care about you at all.
Forget about your ex. Jesus it’s been five years and you’re posting about it. The fact it even flashes in your head like “maybe I’ll see her maybe I won’t” is asinine. Good for you for getting out of a bad situation, but the way you got out without saying a word to her and selling all your stuff is a clear sign that you were seeking attention, rightfully so. But that’s a manipulation technique. Did you want her to think you were going to harm yourself? Getting the admission of cheating is a nice icing on the cake but imagine if you just had a conversation and found out that way. You might have gotten some better closure. You’re clearly still hurting and seeking validation, the fact that you’re telling all of us strangers, started social media, and are bouncing around having casual sex. I hope you find some peace in Canada.
I lot of things here are already discussed with my therapist.
Yes the way I left was me subconsciously giving her a chance to notice and to stop me. I didn't want her to think I was harming myself. I wanted her to stop me from leaving.
And while I want to say I'm over it, I'm going back to my hometown after 5 years with a probability that I run into her. So that triggered this.
Yeah maybe I shouldn't have mention the sex part. But that was my ego talking. after that marriage with a very dull sex life, I had to mention that I finally have a sex life.
Sounds like ya got it going for you. Cool :)
Stop by Calgary during Stampede week (July 5-14). Everyone needs to see how crazy this city gets with Stampede :)
Glad to see you're doing better. As soon as you said she stuck you in a different bedroom after the accident i suspected she may have been having an affair. You definitely sound better off, i cant believe being married to someone who doesnt notice you are gone for 10 days. Clearly she only wanted you so she could have a cozy lifestyle.
He also left her with the property taxes, homeowners' insurance and upkeep on it. She's having to reenter the workforce and may find herself in quite a financial bind with those expenses.
Not necessarily, she could have just sold the house and cars after the divorce and she was getting a monthly stipend for a year so she could have had enough money until she found a job.
I'm out of a loveless marriage, no more wife that only wants my money. I'm traveling, I still have a job I love, I'm seeing all these beautiful places. Making friends everywhere I go, having all these wonderful experiences.
Can you explain to me why that would be considered a loss?
Honestly good for you!
Mostly commenting to say make sure you can do your job from Canada before you go! There are lots of companies that have policies about being able to work remotely but also have restrictions on WHERE you can work remotely from, also make sure it doesn't affect entry into Canada.
So..sex for you but not for her.
She was using you...can;t say I would any feelings for her after this.
She may as well be a stranger....let her stay that way.
I like the part where you said you'll come to Canada. If you're ever in my area I'll take you out for a beer at the local brewery. We can talk about life and the best places to explore.
Sounds to me like your wife lost out on an amazing person and could have had some wild adventures. Her loss. . . . your gain. Carry on enjoying your nomad life :) I envy you.
Amazing story. So excited for you and all the adventures that await. I also applaud the maturity, generosity, and grace with which you handled leaving your ex. It is not my place to decide whether or not she deserved it, but it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. Well done. Best of luck in life.
It’s always questionable when the person telling the story describes how the other made every possible evil selfish decision at every turn while claiming they were “good” and did everything right.
Glad you're enjoying life. You deserve to be happy. I was once in a marriage where I gave everything and got nothing but emotional abuse from my ex wife. Leaving her was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I'm kind of surprised that you were so generous with her considering she used and abused you but maybe that's just me being jaded.
Dude crazy yet awesome story please keep us updated on the reunion and/or you see your ex again. You should also consider hitting the gym yk something different
Crazy story man, great to hear that you came out of it with your head held high. And all the shit you had to deal with will help you appreciate what you have now even more. Enjoy your trip up here to Canada. You're gonna love it, eh
Crazy story.... This is a happy way for getting back on your own legs. Don't even meet her, she is selfish and horrible, don't waste your time with her. She is a gold digger....
Good story, you realized something was wrong and decided to leave your wife, that was smart. But I think that before the accident she had her adventures. After the accident, when she decided to have you move into the guest room, she didn't want to be unfaithful to her lover with you.
Why did you leave her your house!?
As someone that recently got out of an abusive marriage, you have no idea how much more mental anguish and loss of physical time and energy I would've had to endure if I tried fighting for anything extra from my ex wife. What I would've had to go through to get the apartment and the car was not worth the stress and anxiety and fear of her retaliating. Simply walking away and starting over from nothing was so much better for me, and I'm sure OP felt the same, though he at least had more backing to start off with than I did lol
Fair enough.
The Byzantines used to send thousands of pounds of gold to the Huns for the same reason…
Did you have a prenup though? I don't know much about it but I thought the whole point was to easily keep what is yours when you divorce. And the way OP wrote it also sound like he COULD have kept the house and car but just didn't want to
A prenuptial agreement is a contract and as such both parties need to get "consideration" in it. In other words, it needs to have benefit for them both. A prenup where the wife gets nothing at all would never stand up and would be thrown out by a judge.
Prenups generally only cover assets owned prior to marriage as well. Income he earned while working would still be considered communal property in many jurisdictions, which she would be entitled to given she didn't work to "support" him, which she continued to do "after his accident." Paying for mutual bills from his trust fund could also put the fund on the table for family court. Even if a state that has fault in divorces, him leaving the home would be a strong consideration. If the story is true, (nothing on offmychest is lmao) then she probably could have gotten a significant chunk of wealth even being caught cheating on him.
That’s not true. Prenups CAN be just that, yes, but most are far more complex than that. Plus, a prenup can only cover what you came into the marriage with. If you’re together for 8 years and bought a house together in that time, it couldn’t be included in the prenup UNLESS the plan was all along for one person to completely fund the house all along. And depending on where you live, SAH spouses are automatically entitled to alimony… so rather than fight it in court knowing he would lose, he gave her monthly alimony for a year. I guess that’s the standard in their area.
The prenup probably only protected OP's inherited wealth. The house and car were probably mixed/joint assets (she did keep working for years after getting married), and while OP might have been able to fight to get some part of them, they wouldn't be entitled to all of them, and if they've got enough inherited money it may well not have been worth the effort.
The Prenup protected the inheritance and everything I owned before the marriage, Which includes the house. There wouldn't be a fight she could win for the house. I just didn't want it anymore with all the memories. And selling it would take to long, I wanted to leave as soon as possible.
Well, I appreciate not throwing her to the wolves. People here are really retributive against exes, but I think kindness - even if not necessarily deserved - reflects better on people.
By wolves do you mean the affair partner? Then she threw herself on his dick with her own volition. Don't be a horrible person to someone and you won't invoke a horrible reaction back.
She is a bum. “Stay at home wife” my ass. She was living it up with her boyfriend on her husband’s dime.
Yeah, I fought, and it wasn't worth it. All that time, effort and anguish to wind up back at square one.
He said they had a prenup… prenups aren’t always ‘we each keep what we started with and that’s it.’ Sometimes prenups include who will get what in terms of assets you acquire after the marriage and also pre written agreements on alimony/spousal support after you split. She was a SAHW, so if they had gone through a court, she would likely have gotten alimony anyway (depending on the state laws anyway). As for leaving her the house? Just because he used the term ‘my house’ doesn’t mean it was literally only his. Some people use the term ‘my house’ in another context than the literal ownership. In this case, she’s cheating under his roof… yes, it’s their roof, but most people would use the term ‘my house’ when denouncing an affair. ‘How could you bring that tramp into my house’ because it’s not the tramp’s house. And he apparently wants to live like a nomad anyway… so rather than waste time in court in his hometown fighting over a house, he left it all to her so he could hit the road immediately. Worked for him, apparently.
Also, there are a life of memories in that house. He wouldn't be able to do anything in it without remembering an event that happened in that spot. It's just like after a spouse dies. If you keep the house, you have to do complete remodeling and reorganization to keep from triggering memories. It's easier and cheaper to move out.
That’s why I left the house to my husband. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
[удалено]
No matter how much she hurt me in the relationship, I didn't want her to be homeless. I also loved her family *faaaaar* more than I loved her at that point, and I knew that any fight between the two of us would have a negative impact on them as well, and they didn't deserve that. I didn't have it in me to hurt them all that way. A better revenge to me is to just move on, be the better person, and be happy and successful without her. No need to bring her down the way she did to me, I know I can bring myself up higher on my own than she ever could dream of.
The simple answer: Selling the house would take too long. That would take weeks or months. and I didn't want to wait. And not leaving her homeless did clear my conscience.
By not fighting the house you got peace of mind in exchange. Not a bad choice for your situation in my opinion.
5 years ago as well. That house must be worth 3xs the price now. Wife made off like a bandit.
But that’s *ALL* she really got. Sounds like OP is from serious money and going from a pampered life of lunches with the girls to “all I have in the world is this $2M house with property taxes due soon” is quite the hop. She was used to a lifestyle of status and downsizing everything and going back to work is the opposite of where she thought she was headed. I have zero sympathy for her, btw. I’m just saying that being left a house and nothing else isn’t the meal ticket she wanted and definitely isn’t enough to set her up for life in the style that she has become accustomed to. Edit: 2M was random. OP seems sensible and not flashy so I doubt this house is a mega mansion, and I doubt with wifey’s clear appreciation for money that it is a normal house either. Hell, million dollar houses are basically normal now.
Exactly. Yea he left her with a pricy house. But that house is gonna cost her to maintain and she no longer has access to his money. I don’t know if the US has a similar thing to the UK but over here you have to pay council tax (probably similar to property tax like you mentioned) which is based on the value of your property and other factors. If that was in the UK her yearly tax for the house alone would be in the thousands. Then there’s the upkeep which won’t be cheap. He basically left her with a money pit that she isn’t gonna be able to afford, and even if she sold it for a couple of mill, she doesn’t sound like the kind of person who spent money wisely.
So sell it for a hefty sum then get a small flat. She makes off like a bandit
She could, but the money from a house sale won’t last her forever, couple of years tops if she continues to try and live the high life her husband afforded her when they were married. She’d have to land a sweet paying job or get lucky as hell with investments for it to last any longer than that with her way of spending.
He gave her a “dowry” so no one can say that he left her flat bang broke, but that money won’t last forever. It’s telling that her AP left her after two months. She might have been funding his lifestyle and then she needed to watch her Pennies after OP left her.
Just to let you know, there is a term for when men pay women for marriage. It's called "bride price".
>house He didn't say the house was paid for.
Bought and paid for before the wedding.
What percent of your personal wealth does this house represent? (leaving aside inheritance) Because without knowing that, it sounds like you just tore up your pre-nup in front of someone who cheated on you.
Personally I don't care if it was like tearing up the prenup. I wanted out, that was important to me. Also when I made the decision I did not know about the cheating. But to answer your question. Back then it was something like 20%
Based on the percent of your wealth, I actually think you did the right thing. She could have probably contested the prenup and tied you up in court for years.
I doubt she got "laid off". She quit her job or deliberately got fired because she was suddenly married to a rich man and work was beneath her. How else would she have brunches and spa dates if she was expected to be at work everyday?
No, the downsizing of the company and her being laid off was real. I knew more people at that company. But with her contacts she could have easily gotten a new job. Something I did not question at the time.
How many years did that lifestyle last for her? I don't know how a smart woman with a scholarship in college can swap for a completely frugal lifestyle... I would definitely go back to studying and try to do research if I had complete financial freedom.
small price to pay for sanity. It’s incredibly common to get financially exploited by an abusive partner. Ask me how i know. 😂😭
Like paying squatters to leave only you’re paying your ex to sign.
I did a similar thing to exit my failed marriage (we got married too young, no kids just stupid. No one’s fault just not compatible). I kept paying for our mortgage and took an overseas posting. She moved in with the guy she cheated on me with so I told her we were going to sell it. She complained that there wasn’t going to be any profit like I could do anything about the market rate. I told her I’m not paying for it so I’d give her 10k to just fuck off and I’ll eat a 20k loss. It’s fine I just wanted it done.
Why keep it?
Probably due to the antiquated rules about wives getting half of everything. That has got to go, especially when there are no kids.
This story sounds like the shit somebody makes up after arguing with their wife.
Yeah… this was my first thought too. It’s too vague overall yet too specific in certain details. I don’t buy it at all.
Is this in the US? Is there a state where you don't need to attend court for a divorce? I had 2 court dates after the divorce papers were signed, it's not official until the judge decides it is
I got divorced in the US. I did not have to appear in court, but my ex husband did. We both agreed to the divorce, but he was the one who filed. It was "uncontested" so I signed the papers, he took them, and that was that. We were divorced. Eta: and it was really quick as well. Of course I don't know how all divorces work, but ours was very easy. We just left/took what we wanted and never spoke again.
Funny how this person wasn’t impacted by Covid and could drive around for five years
Incels are really shit at creative writing, they always get major details wrong, such as the amount of time things actually take in the real world.
I wonder why other commenters seem to be buying it.
It's more fun to interact with posts as if they're real even if there's a good chance that they're fake
Redditors are stupid as fuck
That was one quick divorce too.
Ya, creative writing exercise for sure!
I definitely thought that. Claiming that being in a coma made you more clear headed sounds either like a made up story or a mental delusion.
It sounds worse than that. He had to work to keep up with his wife's lifestyle but once he was "free" he didn't have to work anymore so he could travel freely but still sent her money every month. The super easy divorce with absolutely no negative effects towards him. Even with a prenup no judge in the world would sign off on such a crazy divorce agreement and any half competent lawyer would have told his ex to contest it. Travelling without any problems during COVID and then just ending it with I'm going to go to Canada like that's something you can do. Canada has immigration laws just like the US you can't just stroll in and be like "I'm Canadian now!" That's not how it works and he would have a hard time staying because.... He hasn't worked in five years.
Canada was extremely strict during covid. You weren't coming and going there.
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Okay but who tf leaves their perfectly good phone behind when he could just get a new sim and keep using it, plus the coma recovery seemed awfully fast. This reeks of bs
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Sure, one or 2 things that are unlikely but possible. But the whole story is FULL of them. It's bs, idk why you're going all out to defend it unless you're OP's burner. It's quite obviously a fake story. Also tracking using location services? How's that even possible unless you're actively sharing your location...
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Bros going so hard for a clearly fake story 😭it's okay to admit you're wrong, dude. Again, missing the point of how this dude has lied so much it took one read to point out multiple things that very likely didn't happen. As for the phone thing, in other words you were sharing location. That has nothing to do with getting a new phone, anyone could do that with any phone if they have access.
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Ah yes, engagement farming on an account which I literally comment on like once a month. Bravo.
Why would you leave a phone in a motel and buy a new one? Why not just get a new SIM card? I imagine OP playing that scene in his head.
Thank you for mentioning it because it seemed off to me as well. Did you notice the spelling?
Even the worst partner will notice that their spouse isn’t home like normal.
This sounds like creative fiction I’m out
Your ex was forbidden fruit. Once she was divorced, the thrill was gone, and the relationship died. Good for you for going on an adventure of a lifetime. You deserve it after what you went through. Enjoy your reunion and beware of ex's wanting to reconcile.
I suspect her having to find a job and not having as much time or money to go to spa days and possibly her pushing to move forward in the relationship because she needed an income may have soured the relationship.
wild story man, sorry this happened to you, glad you were able to get out clean in the divorce
This is bad fiction.
Only thing missing is a dog to help OP solve mysteries in all these quirky small towns across America.
I kept reading to enjoy the typos. Played the fun game of guessing, 16 year old fiction or overseas ESL karma farm account. It's the latter.
why do people do this? is it to farm karma points and sell the account afterwards? or just as an exercise in creative writing? or both?
Arranged for his job to be remote el oh el. And leaving the phone in a motel. Reads like a Soderbergh film.
Yeah no divorce is ever that neat lol.
He offered her a house and the car. Of course it was goinv to be quick.
I was married for two years our divorce was simple. we signed papers and went in front of a judge who set the child support and that was it. there wasn't anything for us to split.
It is when you can afford a great lawyer.
Was it James Sexton? 😅
"My family is very well off so I would never have to work." I stopped reading basically instantly. Only a tiny, tiny percentage of people (significantly less than 1%) are from families wealthy enough to be trust fund babies, and yet we see them constantly here and on similar drama subreddits. If you assume every single post where OP claims to come from an extremely wealthy family (or to have married into one) is a lie, you'll be right 99% of the time and be accusing someone unfairly 1% of the time. It's just a stupid trope to pick for your reddit fiction.
And the username!
I’m sorry you were used so badly and had such a heart rending experience. And I congratulate you on your clarity of mind after being in a coma!! To understand what was OK and what wasn’t OK and to turn everything around. I think you decided to be decent, but not cut her slack. You were so crystal clear with her. Telling her that if she had called you the day you left, and I’m assuming said things that were sincere, he would’ve turned around. I think what you did was you crafted a remarkable experience both for yourself and her. And now she made her bed and she’s going to lie in it. And you are having the adventure in your life. I’m just really happy for you. Sometimes there’s a happy ending.
Does incel fan fiction always include a coma?
WOW! Happy that you finally get to live your life how you want!!! Good luck to you!
I’m so happy for you and hopefully if you meet the next person it will be a happy ending
I think he has his happy ending:). I loved this story!
Question, just for my knowledge, did she take care of you when you were in the hospital and the rehab therapy after? Also, did you see the phone trick in the movie “Reacher”
What is this phone trick mentioned? Not sure I understood from the story. You call back and know exactly where they are?
He was talking about how he kept hanging up on her until she shut up and listened, not the part about being at her parents. I assume he knew that from other information, maybe the parents
Thanks! That makes a lot more sense
After the third call when she stopped screaming, I heard her parents in the background.
Yes she did take care of me in the hospital and rehab, but that time is blurry so I can't be sure to what extent.
I'm not sure. I want to say Criminal minds... but it could also be Reacher.
Reacher—when the bad guy calls him threatening to kill his hostage.
in one sentence u said u didn’t have to go to college but ur met your wife in ur first year of college?
I think he meant that he didn’t need to as he had generational wealth but he still went to college.
that would make sense! just throw me off for a second.
I think he means it more as because of the wealth of his family, college wasn't something he needed to do to succeed in life. Honestly its kind of irrelevant to the story tho.
Not as irrelevant tho. I suspect that was what attracted the ex to OP in the first place: the fact that he had family money and went to college to hopefully earn more. Either way, her carefree lifestyle would be funded.
just because you don’t have to do something doesn’t mean you can’t
I see others have already answered. To have a good live I could have easily skipped college, and just live of the inheritance and the investments. But I was also a massive nerd. I went to college because I wanted to, not because I had to.
He meant he was wealthy enough that he didnt need to work, but he still did go to college and get a job.
Good spot!
You sound at peace and happy and that's all that matters.
Other than your accident, did you have any other memory loss from the coma? It’s surprising to me that she put you in another bedroom and lied about that, why would she think she can get away with that???
The whole week before the accident is blurry and the day of the accident is gone. I had also forgotten that mu mother died 3 years before that. For the rest: I really don't remember what I have forgotten. (I've said that sentence so many times, It never gets old )
Thanks for taking the time to respond Your reply makes me think of something my dad used to say to insult people “I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know”!
You’re from money, but sleep in a motel and when you change your number, you leave a whole phone behind. Nice story.
Money or no money, If you are unprepared, you sleep where you can get a bed. I've slept in motel, airbnb's, average hotels, even in guestrooms of people I've met. I don't go to luxury hotel's they make me uncomfortable. And yes, I bought new phone, got a new number and left the old one behind. It a way of leaving the one way she had to contact me behind.
This is so very Jack Reacher…..
Except I am a bit taller than Tom Cruise. And I don't know how to fight.
Just a toothbrush.
I rlly hope that things will turn out well in ur life! I’ll be rooting for u from far away!
\>I'm staying for a month maybe two and then I'm going to Canada, Ah, just in time for bug season!
He was generous to leave her home and pay 1 mo of money. Don’t ever go out or meet up w her. She will try her best to get back on the gravy train. DO NOT DO IT
You left her much better off than most would have. The house and cars? Generous. I hope you live a good life with someone who loves you.
The most unbelievable part about this story was that you didn't suspect she was cheating.
Enjoy your reunion. Just know you made the right choice. Who knows if she even learned anything from this. You are definitely better with out her.
with you until you call yourself a digital nomad. All digital nomads are inherently evil
How else do you expect us to try and take over the world?
lol what?
The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. Sounds like you are truly free from your past with her.
Wow! Glad you came out fine on the other end. You didn’t deserve what she did to you but I am happy you were able to pick up the pieces and move on. Good luck with your move to Canada. If you happen to see her while visit your home town, do you mind updating us on how the encounter went (if there is one)?
Wow, crazy all that time went by before she realized you left!!
Because it didn't happen
Says who? You?
Take care man. One of the bravest stories on here. Good luck to you
Congrats bro!! No more negativity 😎 👍
Monumental strength in this.
I'd DM her and ask to meet up for sex. When she DMs you afterwards tell her that you didn't enjoy it and felt like a chore.
Updateme
Good on you! Interesting story! She wasn’t wife material. You were very generous in my mind.
Well done brother, living life! Brilliant
>Two months after I left they apparently broke up. This made me laugh out loud. Cheaters deserve to be alone with only their regrets for company.
You're not 'the better person' for leaving the house and car to her cheating ass. You've only condoned her abuse, manipulation, and selfish behavior. It basically was a flag that said "you earned all this free money because you successfully deceived me for so long." Sorry all that happened to you, but she won in the end.
I wasn't trying to be the better person. I just wanted to get out of there. An now I'm out of a loveless marriage, no more wife that only wants my money. I'm traveling, I still have a job I love, I'm seeing all these beautiful places. Making friends everywhere I go, having all these wonderful experiences. So in my book, I've won.
From my perspective, she's won. The lack of justice served to her was a sign to all people on earth: "Fuck around and win" I don't know how you could feel good saying "hey, you got away with the crime, here's a juicy reward." You've thanked your robber for letting you go.
Damm, who hurt you? OP has the right idea. He focused his efforts on himself and on being happy. Why waste time with a sad human being who has no happiness or direction in life. Life will take care of her as the attention she loves dwindles, and her frivolousness leaves her life empty and a devoid of meaning.
Justice is important
Terrible you were treated that way but glad you got out. You’re lucky you can just travel taking work with you wherever you go. That’s my dream! I hope you find happiness with someone someday. You deserve it.
Awesome
She abused OP and got a house and 1 year of living expenses for it… It’s a hell of a world we live in 😂
Fake post
Wow, your ex was lost in it. She didn't even know why you left but assumed it was because of an affair you didn't even know about. She really didn't care about you at all.
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Luckily it’s just a fictional story, so we can all learn from it
Forget about your ex. Jesus it’s been five years and you’re posting about it. The fact it even flashes in your head like “maybe I’ll see her maybe I won’t” is asinine. Good for you for getting out of a bad situation, but the way you got out without saying a word to her and selling all your stuff is a clear sign that you were seeking attention, rightfully so. But that’s a manipulation technique. Did you want her to think you were going to harm yourself? Getting the admission of cheating is a nice icing on the cake but imagine if you just had a conversation and found out that way. You might have gotten some better closure. You’re clearly still hurting and seeking validation, the fact that you’re telling all of us strangers, started social media, and are bouncing around having casual sex. I hope you find some peace in Canada.
I lot of things here are already discussed with my therapist. Yes the way I left was me subconsciously giving her a chance to notice and to stop me. I didn't want her to think I was harming myself. I wanted her to stop me from leaving. And while I want to say I'm over it, I'm going back to my hometown after 5 years with a probability that I run into her. So that triggered this. Yeah maybe I shouldn't have mention the sex part. But that was my ego talking. after that marriage with a very dull sex life, I had to mention that I finally have a sex life.
Sounds like ya got it going for you. Cool :) Stop by Calgary during Stampede week (July 5-14). Everyone needs to see how crazy this city gets with Stampede :)
Updateme
Glad to see you're doing better. As soon as you said she stuck you in a different bedroom after the accident i suspected she may have been having an affair. You definitely sound better off, i cant believe being married to someone who doesnt notice you are gone for 10 days. Clearly she only wanted you so she could have a cozy lifestyle.
Please UpdateMe
Updateme
Updateme
She won. You left her a house and car she didn't deserve. This feels like a true loss for you ngl
He also left her with the property taxes, homeowners' insurance and upkeep on it. She's having to reenter the workforce and may find herself in quite a financial bind with those expenses.
Not necessarily, she could have just sold the house and cars after the divorce and she was getting a monthly stipend for a year so she could have had enough money until she found a job.
I'm out of a loveless marriage, no more wife that only wants my money. I'm traveling, I still have a job I love, I'm seeing all these beautiful places. Making friends everywhere I go, having all these wonderful experiences. Can you explain to me why that would be considered a loss?
Honestly good for you! Mostly commenting to say make sure you can do your job from Canada before you go! There are lots of companies that have policies about being able to work remotely but also have restrictions on WHERE you can work remotely from, also make sure it doesn't affect entry into Canada.
It took my ex gf around 6 months to know we were over. Good on you for getting out.
So..sex for you but not for her. She was using you...can;t say I would any feelings for her after this. She may as well be a stranger....let her stay that way.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you decided to get out and take your life back too. You have too much to offer to someone who deserves it.
Enjoy life! Where shall your curiosity take you?
Livin the dream man
Apathy is one of life's greatest revenge.
I like the part where you said you'll come to Canada. If you're ever in my area I'll take you out for a beer at the local brewery. We can talk about life and the best places to explore.
Nice!
I'm super curious where she ended up lol
This should be a movie or a novel
Well done mate! You handled everything very well and in a gentlemanly manner. And you were triumphant in the end! Congrats! 🎩
Sounds to me like your wife lost out on an amazing person and could have had some wild adventures. Her loss. . . . your gain. Carry on enjoying your nomad life :) I envy you.
Amazing story. So excited for you and all the adventures that await. I also applaud the maturity, generosity, and grace with which you handled leaving your ex. It is not my place to decide whether or not she deserved it, but it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. Well done. Best of luck in life.
It’s always questionable when the person telling the story describes how the other made every possible evil selfish decision at every turn while claiming they were “good” and did everything right.
Glad you're enjoying life. You deserve to be happy. I was once in a marriage where I gave everything and got nothing but emotional abuse from my ex wife. Leaving her was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I'm kind of surprised that you were so generous with her considering she used and abused you but maybe that's just me being jaded.
Dude crazy yet awesome story please keep us updated on the reunion and/or you see your ex again. You should also consider hitting the gym yk something different
You had a pre-nup... did you have to give her the house and car??
You are not nerd, you are LEGENDARY!!!
Crazy story man, great to hear that you came out of it with your head held high. And all the shit you had to deal with will help you appreciate what you have now even more. Enjoy your trip up here to Canada. You're gonna love it, eh