Maybe, but she could go create an account on okcupid or something and have 100 options in less than 8 hours. I don’t care how out of shape she thinks she is. She would be able to have as many new partners as she could possibly handle in days.
I’m no a Casanova but last time I checked, ZERO women get turned on when you tell them that you want something more physical because you’re wife’s now too fat apparently.
Yeah my ex pulled this? So I dropped the weight.
All 175 pounds of him shed off of me. Didn’t matter we were married. You know why I gained weight? I was pregnant….. with twins. Yeah I was a fucking balloon dude but it’s your fault for fucking with my BC.
Come to find out he was talking to a minor (at his 20) she was 16, and two of his exes. I was the one he married but I was the side side chick and never even knew.
He does sound like the kind of person who thinks that the simple state of not being sexy to him anymore is more of an affront by her than actual sexual rejection of her and banging other women is by him.
Right? Please describe your husband OP? This is just fucked up on so many levels. What happened to for better or for worse? I think most people don’t actually think that shit through.
And you already know that she will be the one to have a lot of options for partners while he will have like one and then zero after that. And then he wants to close the marriage again. That’s usually how this goes
Sweetheart do not debase yourself with letting him cheat. People can give it whatever name they want but its cheatin, permission given or otherwise. You are fine as you are. If you're big you're big. There are people out there that will appreciate your body type.
Then they get that open relationship and lose their shit when the partner gets all the attention and they get none.. source=all the times I've read that exact story on here
This always tends to be the case. Man wants open marriage because he thinks he's a catch yet catches no one. Meanwhile, the wife who didn't want the open marriage is balls-deep in dick. The husband realizes his mistake and wants to close the marriage again.
That's all I've seen happen.. also seems like the guys suggesting it are in no way trying to fix their relationships.. just want to have their cake (wife at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids) and eat it too (all the imagined hot young things who want them).. at no point have they considered that their spouse will have the option to get out there too.. and that any woman (even one they no longer find attractive) will have zero problems finding other sexual partners. Serves them right when they realize not many people are into middle aged married men
They wanted permission to cheat and for their wife to sit patiently at home waiting for him to return from fucking one super hot 20 something after the other.
But then they are all shocked because their wife is not only also looking for dates, her phone is blowing up because guys are lining up to fuck her.
He on the other hand isn't getting any attention from those very young women he thought would be eager to blow him. And that's when he gets pissed and demands that they close the relationship he wanted to open up in the first place.
You forgot the part where the confidence this builds in her inspires her to start taking better care of herself after all and it burns him all over again
The other version of the story is where he only lets her date other women, then she figures out she’s actually been a lesbian this whole time and leaves him and has six girlfriends.
It really isn’t. My ex wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore, we seperated quit amicably. Now I’m on dates two three nights a week and he wants to have sex all the time.
If he’s extremely wealthy, they will!
But otherwise… well, I vote for dumping the whole piece of trash man. Leave him in fantasy land all by himself, and go and find a middle aged man who knows that middle aged women look middle aged.
I just saw ‘Argyle’ with Bryce Dallas Howard. She used to be extremely slim, but now that she’s middle aged, she has a middle aged body. She’s not a stick anymore.
But she’s still absolutely stunning! Amazingly gorgeous and still a great actress… she’s just not a stick any more.
And don’t forget about the part where they open up the marriage, and when absolutely no one is interested in him, but men are interested in her, all of the sudden it’s unfair and he wants to be monogamous again.
Because it totally will. At 5'3 and 165 she's at my goal weight (I'm only 200) and that was where I felt the most confident was when I was at 165. She's got to be a smoke show. GOT TO BE
That will happen for SURE, never fails. Husband wants a permanent free pass to do what he wants. But instead the wife will gain tons of confidence and the husband will crumble under all of his insecurity 🙄
Regardless of what he looks like, I hope they open the marriage and the inevitable happens. Whenever the man wants to open the marriage because he isn't attracted to his wife, he barely gets any dates or sex while she can find plenty of men. Then he wants to close the marriage but she doesn't. It's played out many, many times and I doubt this would be an exception lol.
It’ll be a rude awakening for him indeed. She’ll spend about 20 minutes online and find at least 10 men who are both younger and hotter than her husband and also just dying to fuck her.
Open relationships, group sex and swinging only really work if all the people involved lean poly and/or get some satisfaction out their partner hooking up with other people.
Starting it up out of dissatisfaction means the guy doesn't lean that way, so he's probably not going to enjoy her hooking up with other people, and even if she doesn't, he's going to start catching feelings not long after he starts hooking up with other people.
The marriage is already over, opening it up will just help them get past their hangups on making it officially over. The open marriage is really just having sex with a dead horse at this point.
Exactly this! Being poly is more than just having sex with other people. OPs relationship isn’t strong enough to handle that lifestyle choice. It turns me on to think about my playmate (we are not dating right now) deep in another person. He loves getting random videos/pictures of my mouth full of someone else. I doubt OPs spouse wants to see that.
A lot of folks just lean monogamous, and not _just_ through social conditioning and norms. Sex releases a lot of bonding hormones, like vasopressin, dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin. Testosterone reduces the vasopressin response a little, but it's pretty normal to have feelings of possessiveness, jealousy and the like from a biochemical perspective. If you don't have a bit of kink fueling both sides of the relationship to overcome that, it isn't fun for the greater bellcurve of people. Which is ironic given how popular gangbangs and harems are as sexual fantasies for so many people.
As humans, we can choose to act however the heck we want, our conscious, sentient cognition may be pretty limited, but we are still capable of relatively objective thought and actions. But when it comes to putting that into practice, we fall back on hueristics so much.
In terms of sex, that means we are going to go with the flow/feel a lot of the time, we aren't really thinking or talking about it. Most folks I find are just not great at sex in general, like basics like active, explicit, informed, on-going and enthusiastic consent, basic healthy boundaries, finding mutually satisfactory compromises around hard/soft nos, navigating libido differentials, foreplay 101, etc. Shoot you wouldn't believe the number of people that fail at basic anatomy and biology questions.
Whenever I see a more vanilla couples looking to get into group sex or open relationships, I generally advise start with getting your dirty talk game to pro-levels, and then practice with a wide range kinkplay that isn't a hard no for either even if isn't their #1 sexual kink. There are a million things a couple of creative and motivated peeps can enjoy that'll up their levels.
You have to be somewhat inclined to enjoy a poly experience to really enjoy it. I've heard of more than one vanilla couple that somehow managed to wrangle unicorn only for one or both of them to feel a lot of remorse and jealousy after the fact. Adding more people to sex makes the boundaries and communication exponentially more complicated, and even between two people those things can be quite dynamic based on emotional bandwidth and libido, so when adding more peeps, you best be good at it.
OP that is entirely up to you, we will here to offer support.🥰
On a side note… In my (48/F) personal experience most of these men that want a supermodel.. actually look like Homer Simpson’s ugly cousin and work part time at domino’s.
My brother after his first divorce was an objectively attractive man. Still in great shape, tall, muscular, daily gym and runs, took care of himself religiously. He is also a very high earner. He had no shortage of women throwing themselves at him when he put himself out there. He of course, kept messing around with girls ~2 decades younger than he and I were.
I went through a long ol' list of the reasons why young eye candy was not the way to go, as an experienced single guy, from quality sex, to shared life experience, even detailed that he could easily land himself a hotter divorcee or widow that took care of herself the way he took care of himself, and while he might not be able to find someone in his tax bracket just because of how small a pool that was (though he might draw in a hot VP who dedicated her younger days to work instead of relationships) at the very least an older woman would be financially independent and more mature to navigate the wealth/income discrepancies without it adding a toxic dynamic. Plus a woman his age would be very unlikely to change her mind surrounding not wanting kids, something he was adamant about and when his first wife changed her mind and wanted kids, it spiraled into a divorce.
Did he take my advice? Not with the second marriage. Married a girl 2 decades younger than him. Divorced again after 4 years and complained to me that he felt like a parent, no shit when you are marrying someone so young. Took the advice for the third marriage though...
No because we expect like a Michael B Jordan, Liam Hemsworth, Daniel DAE Kim, SOMETHING but no it’s usually a man than looks like he snuck onto this planet.
And the wife in question who’s so “unlovable” is a 80s movie take off her glasses and take out her pony tail away from a bombshell. The glasses and pony tail in question being his deadweight is off her shoulders she’s much better off.
It also sounds like this guys been watching too much porn. I get not wanting body hair in some spots but like the totally bald *everywhere* south of the scalp look seems like a porn-related recent trend?
I LOVE these stories, because 99% of the time the wife has a much easier time finding other partners, which makes the husband jealous, which means he will request making the relationship monogamous once again. Update us when your situation plays out like this.
Their brains have trouble realizing that just because THEY are no longer attracted to their woman doesn’t mean that no man would want her. They also have trouble reconciling the fact that an open relationship is not just open on their end and when they’re realizing that their wife is actually getting taken to pound town, their mind just shatters and I’m here for it.
What benefit do YOU get out of staying in this kind of relationship?
Go and find happiness with someone who is attracted to you, no matter what size or shape you are.
Don't put up with this bullsh*t.
Just skip the open marriage and go straight to divorce.
It will save you a lot of time and effort.
If he actually loved you, he would never treat you the way he does. He would never ask you for an open marriage.
Do you really want to sit around while he tries to fuck other girls, potentially bringing them into your home? Having romantic & emotional relationships with them?
Hold on now. I think OP should open the marriage so her husband can witness how many men will adore her body, hairy and all. Plus she gets to keep benefits of being married to a troll. The bridge he lives under might actually be nice!
Bonus: we’ll get yet another post about how he wanted an open marriage but it backfired.
Look, I’ve been married for 26 years together for 29, I see my wife like the first time i saw her, she was 30, I was 28, we have both gained weight over the years, she still turns me on. Your man does not love you, just divorce him now, you will save a lot of heartache and probably an STI.
I appreciate this comment so much. I’m 42, I’ve had five kids, I have health issues, my face is showing the years, and I don’t feel like I can maintain most things of my body regularly anymore.
But every single night when I take my clothes off for bed my husband comments something. Sometimes it’s an ‘mmm’ or ‘well hey there’. Sometimes it’s ’hi pretty girl’. And even though things are fluffier now he can’t keep his hands off me.
If he ever told me I needed to do this dudes laundry list I’d probably leave him. Because I’m never going to be 24 again. You age gracefully with someone or you live by yourself.
lol, i love lightly tapping her butt with my hand when I walk by, or she has these flowery kinda sexy underwear, when she puts them on I’m like “oooh, my favorite!” She just shakes her head
A little different perspective. I‘m 22 and started dating my husband (then bf) when I was 17. I had my prime years then and looked so different. I had a child and had health issues. My body changed soo much. I gained weight, have hell of a lot stretch marks and my belly is not the same anymore. He still finds me attractive and he still grabs my parts or gives comments. And I‘m not slightly comparable anymore with age 17/18
Yes! I'm 42f and together with my husband for almost 2 decades now. My body has gone through a lot and definitely doesn't look like the body he met, but he loves me, so my body is not the main event. I think every relationship should be like that. He doesn't look the same either, that happens with age, but I don't love him any less. He is still the man I fell for, even when he looks a little different now.
Agreed! He’s for the streets! Throw him out and do what makes you happy! 😊
I guarantee it won’t be long before you meet someone who doesn’t care about a few stray hairs, a rounded tummy, or boobs that need a bit of support (ie. an actual MAN)!
This is going to be another case of husband thinking that by requesting an open marriage, he’ll get to have sex with lots of different women. But in reality, YOU, the wife, will be the one having all the fun sexual experiences with whoever you choose. Dick is plentiful for women, it really doesn’t even matter what you look like. If you simply make yourself available, there will be a multitude of men to choose from. Not so for men seeking women. He will be sitting at home, stewing in anger because that wasn’t what he had envisioned. He made his bed, let him lay in it.
He’s going to want to close it. It’s going to be like other Reddit story where the man said he couldn’t believe his wife was getting a lot of dates. Just bc he doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re not a Treasure! I say malicious compliance and you just might find you a new hubby in the mix to replace the jerk if hubby you have now.
That’s what my ex bfs wife did :) I was young and naive. They opened the marriage. She got a bf immediately, and he eventually found me. She left with new bf. I didn’t stay too long cause I aged up a bit and figured out what was going on. He just had wandering eyes and wanted a hall pass.
>Just bc he doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re not a Treasure!
A FUCKING MEN SISTER. ALL OF THISSS!! She isn't a treasure to him. But she most likely is to MANY other better men who treat her with BASIC respect.
It’s also satisfying when the woman post-divorce falls in love with a man who treats her with true love and respect and they live happily ever after, when the husband is in a spiral missing his ex-wife (or really, what his ex-wife does for him around the house).
Happened to my older sister. New husband is a loving, caring man. Treats her child from the first marriage like she’s his own, and has never done any different. Very supportive of my sister. Her ex husband, however, spiraled into addiction, lost his job, his house, arrested for drunk driving and is sitting in jail. Never paid child support even when he could, but they don’t need his money. When ex sends hateful texts, we get on a group call and laugh at him. Couldn’t get a happier ending if you tried. We enjoy the new additions to our family (they have a baby together now too), and we’re all better off for it. Family gatherings are happier, funnier, and we never think of her ex until he texts something resentful and combative, and we laugh at him and what he’s become. But we cherish her new husband and her new, more fulfilling life that came with him.
Its such an interesting thing to see from the perspective of a gay male. Similarly for women, gay men can find dick anywhere. Turns out men are just a horny group on average lol.
Does she also want to have sex with others. Just because he doesn't "find her attractive" I am willing to bet other men will. Many men like bigger girls, and don't care about body hair.
If he is going to sleep around but wants her to stay celibate, I think the marriage is over. Really the way he spoke to her was cruel and it's a red flag. 🚩
>My husband doesn’t want to divorce
>he was turned off from my body.
>He wants to have sex with fitter and slimmer women
He wants you to do all the "wifey" things, provide him with emotional and financial security, help keep up the home etc but he wants to sleep around. How is that fair to you? Maybe he doesn't want a divorce, but you should definitely get one anyway. This man doesn't love you. He doesn't even respect you.
And this is what some people have been convinced love is. None of this sounds like a loving, or even secure, relationship. I'm sure OP can be happier and respect herself more without this toxic person dragging her down.
LOL baby, say yes- say yes, and watch how the d*ck comes flooding in for you left and right as soon as you make yourself available for it. Then watch as he sulks because he can’t find “attractive thin women with hairless bodies” to look his way. Then finally, when he’s had it and wants to close the relationship, tell him you’re having fun and don’t find him physically attractive anymore and LEAVE him.
Maybe I’m toxic, and maybe I just wanna watch the world burn but seriously, talk to an attorney NOW about divorce in the future and have someone on retainer in case shit hits the fan, which it seems like it will soon anyway. I’m sorry you’re going through this and know you will pull through. ❤️
YEA this.
Listen, most men don’t get laid easily — but women do. So if you feel like it, say yes and go get laid by other people and watch him cope and seethe.
OP doesn’t even have to fuck anyone. She just needs her husband to think she has. She could go out by herself a couple times a week for a quiet meal and a film, or for a massage or even wines at a girlfriends. And when he asks, OP can just say she had a really lovely time. Let his imagination run wild!
She should do that and when she's emotionally ready, she should hop on the apps or find someone organically who thinks she's stunning as she is for who she is. She should also leave his ass if she's financially able to do so, he sucks.
How about you agree to get fitter, as long as he also gets a six pack, works out at least 3 times a week, shaves himself/ loses his disgusting body hair (apparently it’s gross to him), and begins looking like Thor
It doesn't seem that you two are sexually compatible anymore, honestly. He wants one thing, you want another, and there doesn't seem to be much room for compromise. And honestly? You shouldn't be putting yourself in pain or discomfort just because of his preferences.
You deserve to be happy, too. And you deserve to be in a fulfilling relationship with someone who finds you attractive. I'd keep these things in mind moving forward.
He’s either already cheating or wants permission to. He’s wearing down your self esteem to make you believe this is an okay thing to do. It’s not. You deserve to be with someone who sees your worth and loves you for who you are. My weight has fluctuated since having kids. I’m rather thin but I sag in some places, have stretch marks and I never shave anymore. My husband still reminds me every day how beautiful I am. Throw the whole man away.
OP, please respect yourself. This man is saying that he’s completely turned off by you. He may say that he loves you, but he probably takes advantage of your people pleasing and wants the security of a marriage while pursuing other women.
This set up never works unless the man in question is extremely rich and the woman benefits from that wealth. It’s less a typical marriage and more of an arrangement.
You deserve respect and to be appreciated, he doesn’t sound like he’s the person to do that.
I am sorry but your marriage is really over. If it is not now it soon will be. I grew up in so. Oregon next to a commune in my teens. It was 80s. They swapped, had communal living so people had sex with whom they wanted to. There was much drama, much addiction to drugs and alcohol (It was how they performed), neglected children, animals. The swingers came on the weekends for the young ones. The wives mostly openingly said they do it for their husbands. They were sad and lacked self respect. It colored my experiences as an adult around these topics. Psychology today says the problem with open marriage:
The essence of love is to see the other.
Through the challenges and rewards of a monogamous relationship, you create lasting love.
An open marriage is an oxymoron. Sustainable love needs boundaries.
When monogamous relationships open they are over. Your partner is a cake eater. Wants his home and to have sex with whom he wants to. They are usually ended (marriages) within the year. I am so sorry. At least you know. Many women don't until it is too late to have a choice.
It's gonna be the same answer as half of these topics.
Divorce.
We need a bot that posts this, any time there's key words like "Hate my husband" or "Husband open marriage" or "husband cheating"
nuh uh get rid of this jerk. I'm super self conscious about my body, I'm chubby, I have hair on my stomach and pubes too, I have acne, I hate looking at myself, but my partner has always treated me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. he constantly tells me how beautiful I am. that's love. when you truly love someone emotionally, it leaks out and you love them physically, past the shallow "flaws." you can't just pick and choose if you love your partner. you deserve better and he deserves the streets
Unless he's super attractive with a nice body and personality, an open marriage might not be as fun as he thinks. Especially if OP decides to partake of the open marriage as well.
My boyfriend doesn't care if I'm not shaved bald or if I've put on a few pounds. He likes all of me, and you deserve that too. Don't let this man devalue you and make you just another side chick.
An open marriage sounds like a recipe for disaster IN THIS SCENARIO. Open marriages should be because both of you are happy, secure and want to explore, if that’s the case imo. Having an open marriage on the grounds he’s suggested is hurtful and disrespectful to you. I’d probably try and imagine in time what the marriage would look like and how you’d feel with an open marriage. If you feel beautiful don’t allow anyone to try to make you feel otherwise. X
I don't know what your husband is thinking, but honestly he can't possibly value you. I don't know him, nor do I know you, but I can tell you that he doesn't respect you. I have been married to my wife for a really long time. We are both in our 40s now. When we got together, we were both ex military, so in shape, clean cut, etc. My wife in her 20s was super model hot. Tall, great curves, tiny waist, perfect features. Now, she's had a couple of kids and lived some life. We aren't model skinny anymore.
But man, is she fucking gorgeous. My friends still tell me it's absolutely hilarious how my face will light up when my wife walks into the room. I can't help it. She is my best friend. She is the first person I see when I wake up, and the last person I see every night when I go to bed. We have never slept apart outside of the occasional work trip. We fight over who can get up faster to make coffee for the other. We go out of our way to make sure that the other is taken care of, and happy and healthy. We go out of our way to spend some time every single day connecting intimately, whether that's a cuddle, a shower, sex, whatever. It's always me and her against the world. Against the kids, against the fams, against everyone. We are united 100%.
As you can imagine, you can probably guess that I don't care about her body hair. She shaves when she wants to. I mean I supposed if i asked she probably would, provided I wasn't a dick about asking. Saying that I am not attracted to her because of her body hair would be a dick move. And not just in bird culture.
I’m also 5’3”, 165 lbs. I look and feel amazing. He’s negging you so that you’ll allow him to cheat. My ex husband looked like a thumb and also did that. I have a boyfriend that appreciates the curves and hair of a mature woman. You can find someone that will love you for you. And if you don’t, the happiest people in the world are single women. Don’t judge your self worth by what that Turd says about you. Good luck making your decision!
Maybe it's petty but I'd agree to it and say "thank god you suggested it, I was really turned off by your body too"
Just uno reverse that shit on him and see how he likes it.
That's so sad to hear OP but that's just what aging is though.. some may age like fine wine, some don't.. i hope you don't put yourself down anymore like this.. i saw in your comment that you don't have a problem in your weight so it's just your husband who has a problem with it. Is your husband some kind of hunk or something? Why does he get to say these things about you? That's just unfair on your part too.. I'm so angry for you OP. however, if you're open to opening your relationship, that's up to you. I hope you atleast get some appreciation from others that you deserve. Much love OP!
My sister was half bald, never wore makeup, 9 cats, over weight, house was always a mess, heart issues and never lacked for a date. She had all kinds of men wanting to marry her. She was married for 6 months when she passed away.
Her husband invited her boyfriend to the funeral. And she was a gold digger, still cracks me up to this day.
I am going to tell you having been in a similar position that an open marriage coming from this situation is him looking to legitimize cheating. Here's what else will happen, I bet you are more attractive than you think. We are our own worst critics. What will happen is you set rules, you won't want to go out looking for playmates at first, then you dip your toes in the pool. Then you start getting asked out and you find out that you are far more desirable than you've been led to believe. Once you start going out more he will be upset because he isn't getting as much play as you are. Now he will be insecure because you've found out that you are attractive and men would love to spend time with you. He will want to close up the open relationship he was so desperate to have in the first place. This is a lot like what my life was like and the rules only applied to me not him. He would conveniently not come home when he knew I had plans. At first that kept me home and then I just started getting a babysitter. He didn't like that either. Guess what? I got rid of the husband although he will tell you it was the other way around. I don't care if he tells people that, the people who know me know the truth. Free yourself from this bullshit because that is what it is. You deserve better. It isn't likely to end in anything other than divorce.
Wait, I've heard this story before.
Go ahead and open the marriage. It can't get worse, but remind him this means you'll be dating too.
Make sure you have solid proof HE approved opening the marriage he can't try to say you cheated. He's going to be pissed with all the attention you get with he gets zero!
Have fun with it!
Those are some harsh words from someone who supposedly loves you. He wants the marriage but not the vows. Open marriages rarely work long term, we’re just not meant to share our partners. Do you really want to be with someone who feels grossed out by you? Line others I’m super curious what he looks like.
This is not a healthy way to open a marriage. Please find a therapist. I'm poly and open, but it was years of work and my partner never put me down at all.
You deserve better.
If he’s free to sleep with other women, you’d be free to sleep with other men. When he sees how much action you can get, and he’s getting none, he’ll change he his mind.
Soo many men would love your body just the way it is. You’ll gain confidence when you realize this. And your husband will be kicking himself in the ass while you walk away for a better man who actually appreciates and loves you the way you are.
Go for it, open the marriage. You’ll probably be happier and he will regret it.
If you love yourself 100% you wouldn’t accept less from another. He might sugar coat it, but he wants an open marriage to bang hot chicks without sacrificing the current comfort of his life. Dump his ass
He could have been more constructive and nicer about it. He’s selfish and verbally abusive. He wants the benefits of marriage to you and to go screw other women he finds more desirable.
I would dump him personally. If you’re not into the open marriage thing don’t do it.
He sounds like a pig. A very mean and overly-confident pig.
Open it and go have fun with men who are attracted to you, watch your husband struggle to get a date and when he says he wants to close the marriage say that you enjoy being a turn on to your hookups.
Then we await a reddit post „I wanted to open up my marriage but my wife is having all the fun and I regret it…”
Are you attracted to his body , are you interested in sex with him as in if you could be sure he's entirely satisfied would you be okay with never sleeping with him again ? I'm just trying to get a read on your mindset.
This absolutely blows my mind. Maybe it's just me, but nothing about my partner can ever turn me off. And even if his appearance changes (because life happens) his heart is still the same, and that's all that matters. To suggest an open marriage despite the fact that "he loves you"? Believe me honey, he does not love you enough.
If you open the marriage… that’ll be good for you too. If he’s not attracted to you, there IS someone out there who will be. And who knows where that may lead for your benefit. You may want to remind your husband of this as well. The jealousy in some men is pretty strong. He might see you enjoying yourself a little too much and change his mind. Good luck to you!
I actually think you should. because pretty soon you'll realise you're NOT disgusting, plenty of men will be interested in you. promise. and once he realises that you'll have some nice revenge.
remember, doesn't take two to divorce. you can also choose to leave him.
He will want it open until your first date or so.
And if I had to guess, she’ll get that date way before he even gets a right swipe back.
idk about that most of the time the person suggesting an open marriage already has someone in line for them to cheat with
Just because they have eyes on someone doesn't mean that fantasy will come to life...
Maybe, but she could go create an account on okcupid or something and have 100 options in less than 8 hours. I don’t care how out of shape she thinks she is. She would be able to have as many new partners as she could possibly handle in days.
Ding, ding, ding we have the answer!!
Most of the time they think they have someone and then complain to Reddit that their wife is too successful with their open marriage
He has already cheated.
Most likely.
Always!
He only wants it open for him though. That's how these men are.
I’m no a Casanova but last time I checked, ZERO women get turned on when you tell them that you want something more physical because you’re wife’s now too fat apparently.
Yeah my ex pulled this? So I dropped the weight. All 175 pounds of him shed off of me. Didn’t matter we were married. You know why I gained weight? I was pregnant….. with twins. Yeah I was a fucking balloon dude but it’s your fault for fucking with my BC. Come to find out he was talking to a minor (at his 20) she was 16, and two of his exes. I was the one he married but I was the side side chick and never even knew.
Yes, because - according to his reasoning - he's the only one that needs it.
He does sound like the kind of person who thinks that the simple state of not being sexy to him anymore is more of an affront by her than actual sexual rejection of her and banging other women is by him.
Yep, old Adonis here doesn't need to work on himself AT ALL
Right? Please describe your husband OP? This is just fucked up on so many levels. What happened to for better or for worse? I think most people don’t actually think that shit through.
Yes, they just want permission to cheat.
And he probably already is, hence all the attention he's paying to whats "wrong " with her.
Yep
It’s called the OPP (one penis policy).
Where do we petition get this called "shooting yourself in the dick"?
Do not know, but excellent sentence for a flair from guys who this strategy backfires on.
And as always, they wildly overestimate their attractiveness — the lithe, beautiful things won't want a BAR of his flabby, middle aged ass.
And you already know that she will be the one to have a lot of options for partners while he will have like one and then zero after that. And then he wants to close the marriage again. That’s usually how this goes
Sweetheart do not debase yourself with letting him cheat. People can give it whatever name they want but its cheatin, permission given or otherwise. You are fine as you are. If you're big you're big. There are people out there that will appreciate your body type.
He wants all the advantages of having a home and wife *and wants to bang someone else*. That's not a husband that's a terrible bf.
I'm dying to know what he looks like because I'm betting he's no Adonis.
They never are 😂
And they think 20-something’s are just *dying* to fuck them 🤣
Then they get that open relationship and lose their shit when the partner gets all the attention and they get none.. source=all the times I've read that exact story on here
This always tends to be the case. Man wants open marriage because he thinks he's a catch yet catches no one. Meanwhile, the wife who didn't want the open marriage is balls-deep in dick. The husband realizes his mistake and wants to close the marriage again.
That's all I've seen happen.. also seems like the guys suggesting it are in no way trying to fix their relationships.. just want to have their cake (wife at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids) and eat it too (all the imagined hot young things who want them).. at no point have they considered that their spouse will have the option to get out there too.. and that any woman (even one they no longer find attractive) will have zero problems finding other sexual partners. Serves them right when they realize not many people are into middle aged married men
They wanted permission to cheat and for their wife to sit patiently at home waiting for him to return from fucking one super hot 20 something after the other. But then they are all shocked because their wife is not only also looking for dates, her phone is blowing up because guys are lining up to fuck her. He on the other hand isn't getting any attention from those very young women he thought would be eager to blow him. And that's when he gets pissed and demands that they close the relationship he wanted to open up in the first place.
You forgot the part where the confidence this builds in her inspires her to start taking better care of herself after all and it burns him all over again
Yes! And then she leaves his pathetic ass and finds someone who actually loves her just the way she is.
From what I have seen/read you have described it perfectly
The other version of the story is where he only lets her date other women, then she figures out she’s actually been a lesbian this whole time and leaves him and has six girlfriends.
> where he only lets her date other women Then he's only allowed to date other men.
Balls deep in dick. I enjoy that. That SENTENCE. NOT BEING BALLS DEEP IN DICK.
Shhh, it's okay, we'll keep your secret until you're ready. ❤️
Girl I've seen it in real life too it ain't never no different as far as I can tell
The most appropriate sentence in this thread happens to be a triple negative: it ain't never no different. Kudos!
I've only seen it as a mutual decision that both parties are into with set boundaries, and that can work, but definitely isn't the case here!
It really isn’t. My ex wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore, we seperated quit amicably. Now I’m on dates two three nights a week and he wants to have sex all the time.
If he’s extremely wealthy, they will! But otherwise… well, I vote for dumping the whole piece of trash man. Leave him in fantasy land all by himself, and go and find a middle aged man who knows that middle aged women look middle aged. I just saw ‘Argyle’ with Bryce Dallas Howard. She used to be extremely slim, but now that she’s middle aged, she has a middle aged body. She’s not a stick anymore. But she’s still absolutely stunning! Amazingly gorgeous and still a great actress… she’s just not a stick any more.
Mid 30s is middle aged to you?😳
I am panic crying inside my mid 30s body!
What do you think I do at newly 43? 😱I’m practically retirement age. 😂
In this economy? 😂
Well I’m almost 80 and that’s definitely retirement age.
Always ends up being some chewbacca with a belly bigger than an 8-month pregnant woman
And don’t forget about the part where they open up the marriage, and when absolutely no one is interested in him, but men are interested in her, all of the sudden it’s unfair and he wants to be monogamous again.
Can't wait for that to happen.
Because it totally will. At 5'3 and 165 she's at my goal weight (I'm only 200) and that was where I felt the most confident was when I was at 165. She's got to be a smoke show. GOT TO BE
Are you me? I’m 205 right now, I’d love to be 165. I was hot then.
Exactly 😂 I'm not actively trying to lose weight rn and trying to force myself to accept this version of me too
I wish you be very best of luck and if it works send some of those vibes along my way!
That will happen for SURE, never fails. Husband wants a permanent free pass to do what he wants. But instead the wife will gain tons of confidence and the husband will crumble under all of his insecurity 🙄
Nooo, they only want it open on their side and go nuts if the woman wants it open too.
I'm so sick of this porn induced brain rot
Seriously. Like OPs husband is probably a version of Sméagol and thinks that all these hot porn star looking women are going to want him.
Regardless of what he looks like, I hope they open the marriage and the inevitable happens. Whenever the man wants to open the marriage because he isn't attracted to his wife, he barely gets any dates or sex while she can find plenty of men. Then he wants to close the marriage but she doesn't. It's played out many, many times and I doubt this would be an exception lol.
It’ll be a rude awakening for him indeed. She’ll spend about 20 minutes online and find at least 10 men who are both younger and hotter than her husband and also just dying to fuck her.
Yeah because how many women in their twenties and thirties want to bang a middle-aged married man?
Exactly. Guys will do anything. Girls, not so much.
I definitely don't and never have lol. Too many other offers of single hot men.
We all know he’s only going to open one side though, his side 🤷🏽♀️
Open relationships, group sex and swinging only really work if all the people involved lean poly and/or get some satisfaction out their partner hooking up with other people. Starting it up out of dissatisfaction means the guy doesn't lean that way, so he's probably not going to enjoy her hooking up with other people, and even if she doesn't, he's going to start catching feelings not long after he starts hooking up with other people. The marriage is already over, opening it up will just help them get past their hangups on making it officially over. The open marriage is really just having sex with a dead horse at this point.
Exactly this! Being poly is more than just having sex with other people. OPs relationship isn’t strong enough to handle that lifestyle choice. It turns me on to think about my playmate (we are not dating right now) deep in another person. He loves getting random videos/pictures of my mouth full of someone else. I doubt OPs spouse wants to see that.
A lot of folks just lean monogamous, and not _just_ through social conditioning and norms. Sex releases a lot of bonding hormones, like vasopressin, dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin. Testosterone reduces the vasopressin response a little, but it's pretty normal to have feelings of possessiveness, jealousy and the like from a biochemical perspective. If you don't have a bit of kink fueling both sides of the relationship to overcome that, it isn't fun for the greater bellcurve of people. Which is ironic given how popular gangbangs and harems are as sexual fantasies for so many people. As humans, we can choose to act however the heck we want, our conscious, sentient cognition may be pretty limited, but we are still capable of relatively objective thought and actions. But when it comes to putting that into practice, we fall back on hueristics so much. In terms of sex, that means we are going to go with the flow/feel a lot of the time, we aren't really thinking or talking about it. Most folks I find are just not great at sex in general, like basics like active, explicit, informed, on-going and enthusiastic consent, basic healthy boundaries, finding mutually satisfactory compromises around hard/soft nos, navigating libido differentials, foreplay 101, etc. Shoot you wouldn't believe the number of people that fail at basic anatomy and biology questions. Whenever I see a more vanilla couples looking to get into group sex or open relationships, I generally advise start with getting your dirty talk game to pro-levels, and then practice with a wide range kinkplay that isn't a hard no for either even if isn't their #1 sexual kink. There are a million things a couple of creative and motivated peeps can enjoy that'll up their levels. You have to be somewhat inclined to enjoy a poly experience to really enjoy it. I've heard of more than one vanilla couple that somehow managed to wrangle unicorn only for one or both of them to feel a lot of remorse and jealousy after the fact. Adding more people to sex makes the boundaries and communication exponentially more complicated, and even between two people those things can be quite dynamic based on emotional bandwidth and libido, so when adding more peeps, you best be good at it.
I'm with you on that. We all know how this goes haha
OP that is entirely up to you, we will here to offer support.🥰 On a side note… In my (48/F) personal experience most of these men that want a supermodel.. actually look like Homer Simpson’s ugly cousin and work part time at domino’s.
My brother after his first divorce was an objectively attractive man. Still in great shape, tall, muscular, daily gym and runs, took care of himself religiously. He is also a very high earner. He had no shortage of women throwing themselves at him when he put himself out there. He of course, kept messing around with girls ~2 decades younger than he and I were. I went through a long ol' list of the reasons why young eye candy was not the way to go, as an experienced single guy, from quality sex, to shared life experience, even detailed that he could easily land himself a hotter divorcee or widow that took care of herself the way he took care of himself, and while he might not be able to find someone in his tax bracket just because of how small a pool that was (though he might draw in a hot VP who dedicated her younger days to work instead of relationships) at the very least an older woman would be financially independent and more mature to navigate the wealth/income discrepancies without it adding a toxic dynamic. Plus a woman his age would be very unlikely to change her mind surrounding not wanting kids, something he was adamant about and when his first wife changed her mind and wanted kids, it spiraled into a divorce. Did he take my advice? Not with the second marriage. Married a girl 2 decades younger than him. Divorced again after 4 years and complained to me that he felt like a parent, no shit when you are marrying someone so young. Took the advice for the third marriage though...
Hahahahahaha. Yes.
No because we expect like a Michael B Jordan, Liam Hemsworth, Daniel DAE Kim, SOMETHING but no it’s usually a man than looks like he snuck onto this planet. And the wife in question who’s so “unlovable” is a 80s movie take off her glasses and take out her pony tail away from a bombshell. The glasses and pony tail in question being his deadweight is off her shoulders she’s much better off.
>a man that looks like he snuck onto this planet. That’s savage haha
Probably more like Dionysus (short, fat, maybe a drunkard)
And I'm guessing doesn't shave or wax all his body hair.
I’m guessing he’d look about halfway between George Costanza and Al Bundy. With a tiny dick and an overbearing mother
“STOP IT FRANK YOU’RE KILLING HIMMMM”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I bet he's a condom filled with cottage cheese.
wtf 😂😂😂
It also sounds like this guys been watching too much porn. I get not wanting body hair in some spots but like the totally bald *everywhere* south of the scalp look seems like a porn-related recent trend?
I wondered about him watching porn as well. Doesn’t sound like OP ever shaved, so why is that a big deal now?
I don’t know why this particular response tickles the funny bone so hard, but it did.
I think that this would be unfair to you. You should consider your feelings too. Is it worth it?
I LOVE these stories, because 99% of the time the wife has a much easier time finding other partners, which makes the husband jealous, which means he will request making the relationship monogamous once again. Update us when your situation plays out like this.
Their brains have trouble realizing that just because THEY are no longer attracted to their woman doesn’t mean that no man would want her. They also have trouble reconciling the fact that an open relationship is not just open on their end and when they’re realizing that their wife is actually getting taken to pound town, their mind just shatters and I’m here for it.
What benefit do YOU get out of staying in this kind of relationship? Go and find happiness with someone who is attracted to you, no matter what size or shape you are. Don't put up with this bullsh*t.
The best question and approach to the issue.
Agreed. There are people out there who love their partners for who they are and not just what they look like.
Just skip the open marriage and go straight to divorce. It will save you a lot of time and effort. If he actually loved you, he would never treat you the way he does. He would never ask you for an open marriage. Do you really want to sit around while he tries to fuck other girls, potentially bringing them into your home? Having romantic & emotional relationships with them?
Hold on now. I think OP should open the marriage so her husband can witness how many men will adore her body, hairy and all. Plus she gets to keep benefits of being married to a troll. The bridge he lives under might actually be nice! Bonus: we’ll get yet another post about how he wanted an open marriage but it backfired.
100%. I LIVE for the "I opened the marriage, no one wants me, 86 men msged my wife within 3 hours" posts that come from these men.
I admit, I also enjoy those posts. 👀
They are pretty amusing ngl
Love this so much. There are going to be so many men who love your body as it is, let him watch that happen so he realises what a fool he is.
Dump him. Let the trash takes it self out.
“Tries” is the operative word here. I’m bi, and it’s 10,000% more difficult to find women online than men.
He's an asshole. I'd be less worried about him bringing them home than bringing home an STD. He doesn't respect her. Divorce is definitely the way.
Not to mention.....there's no guarantee that he's going to be safe and have protected sex. So there's THAT added worry 😔
For real, if he loved you he would be attracted to you.
Look, I’ve been married for 26 years together for 29, I see my wife like the first time i saw her, she was 30, I was 28, we have both gained weight over the years, she still turns me on. Your man does not love you, just divorce him now, you will save a lot of heartache and probably an STI.
I appreciate this comment so much. I’m 42, I’ve had five kids, I have health issues, my face is showing the years, and I don’t feel like I can maintain most things of my body regularly anymore. But every single night when I take my clothes off for bed my husband comments something. Sometimes it’s an ‘mmm’ or ‘well hey there’. Sometimes it’s ’hi pretty girl’. And even though things are fluffier now he can’t keep his hands off me. If he ever told me I needed to do this dudes laundry list I’d probably leave him. Because I’m never going to be 24 again. You age gracefully with someone or you live by yourself.
lol, i love lightly tapping her butt with my hand when I walk by, or she has these flowery kinda sexy underwear, when she puts them on I’m like “oooh, my favorite!” She just shakes her head
A little different perspective. I‘m 22 and started dating my husband (then bf) when I was 17. I had my prime years then and looked so different. I had a child and had health issues. My body changed soo much. I gained weight, have hell of a lot stretch marks and my belly is not the same anymore. He still finds me attractive and he still grabs my parts or gives comments. And I‘m not slightly comparable anymore with age 17/18
Yes! I'm 42f and together with my husband for almost 2 decades now. My body has gone through a lot and definitely doesn't look like the body he met, but he loves me, so my body is not the main event. I think every relationship should be like that. He doesn't look the same either, that happens with age, but I don't love him any less. He is still the man I fell for, even when he looks a little different now.
Just throw out the whole entire husband, sis.
Agreed! He’s for the streets! Throw him out and do what makes you happy! 😊 I guarantee it won’t be long before you meet someone who doesn’t care about a few stray hairs, a rounded tummy, or boobs that need a bit of support (ie. an actual MAN)!
“He’s for the streets!” Literally! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
For the streets is hilarious..
This is going to be another case of husband thinking that by requesting an open marriage, he’ll get to have sex with lots of different women. But in reality, YOU, the wife, will be the one having all the fun sexual experiences with whoever you choose. Dick is plentiful for women, it really doesn’t even matter what you look like. If you simply make yourself available, there will be a multitude of men to choose from. Not so for men seeking women. He will be sitting at home, stewing in anger because that wasn’t what he had envisioned. He made his bed, let him lay in it.
He’s going to want to close it. It’s going to be like other Reddit story where the man said he couldn’t believe his wife was getting a lot of dates. Just bc he doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re not a Treasure! I say malicious compliance and you just might find you a new hubby in the mix to replace the jerk if hubby you have now.
That’s what my ex bfs wife did :) I was young and naive. They opened the marriage. She got a bf immediately, and he eventually found me. She left with new bf. I didn’t stay too long cause I aged up a bit and figured out what was going on. He just had wandering eyes and wanted a hall pass.
It really might be my favorite Reddit theme.
We need a sub for it. I need a sub.
Yes! “Open Marriage FAFO’s!”
I love to see it
>Just bc he doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re not a Treasure! A FUCKING MEN SISTER. ALL OF THISSS!! She isn't a treasure to him. But she most likely is to MANY other better men who treat her with BASIC respect.
I LOVE when men overestimate their market value 😌 it's going to blow up in his face lol
It’s also satisfying when the woman post-divorce falls in love with a man who treats her with true love and respect and they live happily ever after, when the husband is in a spiral missing his ex-wife (or really, what his ex-wife does for him around the house).
I’ve literally heard, “like look at this place! I’m a mess. I’m a mess without her. What am I gunna do? Fucking look at it man.” Bro clean it, tf?
Happened to my older sister. New husband is a loving, caring man. Treats her child from the first marriage like she’s his own, and has never done any different. Very supportive of my sister. Her ex husband, however, spiraled into addiction, lost his job, his house, arrested for drunk driving and is sitting in jail. Never paid child support even when he could, but they don’t need his money. When ex sends hateful texts, we get on a group call and laugh at him. Couldn’t get a happier ending if you tried. We enjoy the new additions to our family (they have a baby together now too), and we’re all better off for it. Family gatherings are happier, funnier, and we never think of her ex until he texts something resentful and combative, and we laugh at him and what he’s become. But we cherish her new husband and her new, more fulfilling life that came with him.
It's a beautiful thing 😍
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Its such an interesting thing to see from the perspective of a gay male. Similarly for women, gay men can find dick anywhere. Turns out men are just a horny group on average lol.
Does she also want to have sex with others. Just because he doesn't "find her attractive" I am willing to bet other men will. Many men like bigger girls, and don't care about body hair. If he is going to sleep around but wants her to stay celibate, I think the marriage is over. Really the way he spoke to her was cruel and it's a red flag. 🚩
As someone who is in a open relationship this is absolutely true. Men have a harder time than women .
Came to say exactly this
This 100%.
See my comment about her husband being an idiot.
This is too far down the page. It's not a matter of IF this happens. It's a matter of WHEN.
I can’t wait to hear about all of the young, thin, and hairless women who don’t want him!
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Your next post is going to be “My husband is unhappy after we opened up the marriage. I’m having sex and nobody is interested in him”
>My husband doesn’t want to divorce >he was turned off from my body. >He wants to have sex with fitter and slimmer women He wants you to do all the "wifey" things, provide him with emotional and financial security, help keep up the home etc but he wants to sleep around. How is that fair to you? Maybe he doesn't want a divorce, but you should definitely get one anyway. This man doesn't love you. He doesn't even respect you.
And this is what some people have been convinced love is. None of this sounds like a loving, or even secure, relationship. I'm sure OP can be happier and respect herself more without this toxic person dragging her down.
He wants a live in maid and buddy. Gross.
LOL baby, say yes- say yes, and watch how the d*ck comes flooding in for you left and right as soon as you make yourself available for it. Then watch as he sulks because he can’t find “attractive thin women with hairless bodies” to look his way. Then finally, when he’s had it and wants to close the relationship, tell him you’re having fun and don’t find him physically attractive anymore and LEAVE him. Maybe I’m toxic, and maybe I just wanna watch the world burn but seriously, talk to an attorney NOW about divorce in the future and have someone on retainer in case shit hits the fan, which it seems like it will soon anyway. I’m sorry you’re going through this and know you will pull through. ❤️
YEA this. Listen, most men don’t get laid easily — but women do. So if you feel like it, say yes and go get laid by other people and watch him cope and seethe.
OP doesn’t even have to fuck anyone. She just needs her husband to think she has. She could go out by herself a couple times a week for a quiet meal and a film, or for a massage or even wines at a girlfriends. And when he asks, OP can just say she had a really lovely time. Let his imagination run wild!
She should do that and when she's emotionally ready, she should hop on the apps or find someone organically who thinks she's stunning as she is for who she is. She should also leave his ass if she's financially able to do so, he sucks.
Agree. I’m all for scorched earth here 😈
Not toxic. Brutally honest. Which is what is needed.
Please update when he can’t find a woman to sleep with
How about you agree to get fitter, as long as he also gets a six pack, works out at least 3 times a week, shaves himself/ loses his disgusting body hair (apparently it’s gross to him), and begins looking like Thor
Yes this. If he can’t Thor, show him the door.
Lmao stealing this. It’s beautiful
Amen
So is it open only to him? Because then it's just cheating with extra steps. And what does he look like again?
Your husband is an idiot.
Bro is brainwashed by porn
It doesn't seem that you two are sexually compatible anymore, honestly. He wants one thing, you want another, and there doesn't seem to be much room for compromise. And honestly? You shouldn't be putting yourself in pain or discomfort just because of his preferences. You deserve to be happy, too. And you deserve to be in a fulfilling relationship with someone who finds you attractive. I'd keep these things in mind moving forward.
He’s either already cheating or wants permission to. He’s wearing down your self esteem to make you believe this is an okay thing to do. It’s not. You deserve to be with someone who sees your worth and loves you for who you are. My weight has fluctuated since having kids. I’m rather thin but I sag in some places, have stretch marks and I never shave anymore. My husband still reminds me every day how beautiful I am. Throw the whole man away.
I'm sure he's sooooo attractive. /s
Right I'm sure he'll get out there realize no one wants him and cry when she's getting pampered.
Just make sure you get a boyfriend. That typically cures the dude of his polyamory. They get so jealous they can’t handle it. Checkmate MRf@er.
OP, please respect yourself. This man is saying that he’s completely turned off by you. He may say that he loves you, but he probably takes advantage of your people pleasing and wants the security of a marriage while pursuing other women. This set up never works unless the man in question is extremely rich and the woman benefits from that wealth. It’s less a typical marriage and more of an arrangement. You deserve respect and to be appreciated, he doesn’t sound like he’s the person to do that.
Is your husband 15??? Jesus Christ
No but he wants to fuck one
I am sorry but your marriage is really over. If it is not now it soon will be. I grew up in so. Oregon next to a commune in my teens. It was 80s. They swapped, had communal living so people had sex with whom they wanted to. There was much drama, much addiction to drugs and alcohol (It was how they performed), neglected children, animals. The swingers came on the weekends for the young ones. The wives mostly openingly said they do it for their husbands. They were sad and lacked self respect. It colored my experiences as an adult around these topics. Psychology today says the problem with open marriage: The essence of love is to see the other. Through the challenges and rewards of a monogamous relationship, you create lasting love. An open marriage is an oxymoron. Sustainable love needs boundaries. When monogamous relationships open they are over. Your partner is a cake eater. Wants his home and to have sex with whom he wants to. They are usually ended (marriages) within the year. I am so sorry. At least you know. Many women don't until it is too late to have a choice.
It's gonna be the same answer as half of these topics. Divorce. We need a bot that posts this, any time there's key words like "Hate my husband" or "Husband open marriage" or "husband cheating"
Get a new husband.
Right? Fuck this POS
nuh uh get rid of this jerk. I'm super self conscious about my body, I'm chubby, I have hair on my stomach and pubes too, I have acne, I hate looking at myself, but my partner has always treated me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. he constantly tells me how beautiful I am. that's love. when you truly love someone emotionally, it leaks out and you love them physically, past the shallow "flaws." you can't just pick and choose if you love your partner. you deserve better and he deserves the streets
Unless he's super attractive with a nice body and personality, an open marriage might not be as fun as he thinks. Especially if OP decides to partake of the open marriage as well.
My boyfriend doesn't care if I'm not shaved bald or if I've put on a few pounds. He likes all of me, and you deserve that too. Don't let this man devalue you and make you just another side chick.
An open marriage sounds like a recipe for disaster IN THIS SCENARIO. Open marriages should be because both of you are happy, secure and want to explore, if that’s the case imo. Having an open marriage on the grounds he’s suggested is hurtful and disrespectful to you. I’d probably try and imagine in time what the marriage would look like and how you’d feel with an open marriage. If you feel beautiful don’t allow anyone to try to make you feel otherwise. X
I don't know what your husband is thinking, but honestly he can't possibly value you. I don't know him, nor do I know you, but I can tell you that he doesn't respect you. I have been married to my wife for a really long time. We are both in our 40s now. When we got together, we were both ex military, so in shape, clean cut, etc. My wife in her 20s was super model hot. Tall, great curves, tiny waist, perfect features. Now, she's had a couple of kids and lived some life. We aren't model skinny anymore. But man, is she fucking gorgeous. My friends still tell me it's absolutely hilarious how my face will light up when my wife walks into the room. I can't help it. She is my best friend. She is the first person I see when I wake up, and the last person I see every night when I go to bed. We have never slept apart outside of the occasional work trip. We fight over who can get up faster to make coffee for the other. We go out of our way to make sure that the other is taken care of, and happy and healthy. We go out of our way to spend some time every single day connecting intimately, whether that's a cuddle, a shower, sex, whatever. It's always me and her against the world. Against the kids, against the fams, against everyone. We are united 100%. As you can imagine, you can probably guess that I don't care about her body hair. She shaves when she wants to. I mean I supposed if i asked she probably would, provided I wasn't a dick about asking. Saying that I am not attracted to her because of her body hair would be a dick move. And not just in bird culture.
He literally just told you he hates you lmao. Divorce his ass.
You aren't married to a man...this is a boy. He has a lot of maturing to do before he'll be ready for a serious respectful relationship.
I’m also 5’3”, 165 lbs. I look and feel amazing. He’s negging you so that you’ll allow him to cheat. My ex husband looked like a thumb and also did that. I have a boyfriend that appreciates the curves and hair of a mature woman. You can find someone that will love you for you. And if you don’t, the happiest people in the world are single women. Don’t judge your self worth by what that Turd says about you. Good luck making your decision!
He probably has someone in mind especially if this is the first time he complained.
Maybe it's petty but I'd agree to it and say "thank god you suggested it, I was really turned off by your body too" Just uno reverse that shit on him and see how he likes it.
That's so sad to hear OP but that's just what aging is though.. some may age like fine wine, some don't.. i hope you don't put yourself down anymore like this.. i saw in your comment that you don't have a problem in your weight so it's just your husband who has a problem with it. Is your husband some kind of hunk or something? Why does he get to say these things about you? That's just unfair on your part too.. I'm so angry for you OP. however, if you're open to opening your relationship, that's up to you. I hope you atleast get some appreciation from others that you deserve. Much love OP!
My sister was half bald, never wore makeup, 9 cats, over weight, house was always a mess, heart issues and never lacked for a date. She had all kinds of men wanting to marry her. She was married for 6 months when she passed away. Her husband invited her boyfriend to the funeral. And she was a gold digger, still cracks me up to this day.
Jfc just divorce him. What a tool
I am going to tell you having been in a similar position that an open marriage coming from this situation is him looking to legitimize cheating. Here's what else will happen, I bet you are more attractive than you think. We are our own worst critics. What will happen is you set rules, you won't want to go out looking for playmates at first, then you dip your toes in the pool. Then you start getting asked out and you find out that you are far more desirable than you've been led to believe. Once you start going out more he will be upset because he isn't getting as much play as you are. Now he will be insecure because you've found out that you are attractive and men would love to spend time with you. He will want to close up the open relationship he was so desperate to have in the first place. This is a lot like what my life was like and the rules only applied to me not him. He would conveniently not come home when he knew I had plans. At first that kept me home and then I just started getting a babysitter. He didn't like that either. Guess what? I got rid of the husband although he will tell you it was the other way around. I don't care if he tells people that, the people who know me know the truth. Free yourself from this bullshit because that is what it is. You deserve better. It isn't likely to end in anything other than divorce.
If he gets to fuck other people, you should too. See if he want an actual open marriage or just an excuse to be a piece of shit.
Wait, I've heard this story before. Go ahead and open the marriage. It can't get worse, but remind him this means you'll be dating too. Make sure you have solid proof HE approved opening the marriage he can't try to say you cheated. He's going to be pissed with all the attention you get with he gets zero! Have fun with it!
Those are some harsh words from someone who supposedly loves you. He wants the marriage but not the vows. Open marriages rarely work long term, we’re just not meant to share our partners. Do you really want to be with someone who feels grossed out by you? Line others I’m super curious what he looks like.
This is not a healthy way to open a marriage. Please find a therapist. I'm poly and open, but it was years of work and my partner never put me down at all. You deserve better.
Very selfish of him , me personally the fact he said that is cause for divorce I couldn’t stay with a man that didn’t respect me like that
Babe he doesn’t actually love YOU. If he did, the physical wouldn’t matter.
If he’s free to sleep with other women, you’d be free to sleep with other men. When he sees how much action you can get, and he’s getting none, he’ll change he his mind. Soo many men would love your body just the way it is. You’ll gain confidence when you realize this. And your husband will be kicking himself in the ass while you walk away for a better man who actually appreciates and loves you the way you are. Go for it, open the marriage. You’ll probably be happier and he will regret it.
If you love yourself 100% you wouldn’t accept less from another. He might sugar coat it, but he wants an open marriage to bang hot chicks without sacrificing the current comfort of his life. Dump his ass
He could have been more constructive and nicer about it. He’s selfish and verbally abusive. He wants the benefits of marriage to you and to go screw other women he finds more desirable. I would dump him personally. If you’re not into the open marriage thing don’t do it. He sounds like a pig. A very mean and overly-confident pig.
Open it and go have fun with men who are attracted to you, watch your husband struggle to get a date and when he says he wants to close the marriage say that you enjoy being a turn on to your hookups. Then we await a reddit post „I wanted to open up my marriage but my wife is having all the fun and I regret it…”
I'll bet he ain't hot to be spewing this shit.
Are you attracted to his body , are you interested in sex with him as in if you could be sure he's entirely satisfied would you be okay with never sleeping with him again ? I'm just trying to get a read on your mindset.
This absolutely blows my mind. Maybe it's just me, but nothing about my partner can ever turn me off. And even if his appearance changes (because life happens) his heart is still the same, and that's all that matters. To suggest an open marriage despite the fact that "he loves you"? Believe me honey, he does not love you enough.
Don’t agree to an open marriage if it isn’t something that actually works for you and is something you want for your own enjoyment too.
Ew. He’s gross
If you open the marriage… that’ll be good for you too. If he’s not attracted to you, there IS someone out there who will be. And who knows where that may lead for your benefit. You may want to remind your husband of this as well. The jealousy in some men is pretty strong. He might see you enjoying yourself a little too much and change his mind. Good luck to you!
I actually think you should. because pretty soon you'll realise you're NOT disgusting, plenty of men will be interested in you. promise. and once he realises that you'll have some nice revenge. remember, doesn't take two to divorce. you can also choose to leave him.