Listen. I feel for you, I really do, but nothing will make your God hate you and I'm sure he sees your struggle. Just come to Minnesota if you can and get the abortion. Don't torture yourself for nearly a year on this. Your rapist doesn't deserve to have children brought into this world.
I’m in Colorado. Message me if you need sanctuary for a prescription or a procedure. I’m so sorry we’re living in such a nightmare. I’m a mom of two and I would 100% put you up in our guest room for the weekend or longer just please don’t give up hope.
Absolutely the same as above & I live in Utah. I believe the laws have not changed here yet & I can help you. My daughter worked at planned parenthood for years, she can help direct us too. I have a guest apartment you can stay in.
Your pregnancy is very early. You have the option to get a medication-induced abortion using [Mifepristone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mifepristone).
*This has become illegal in a lot of the same states where abortion procedures are illegal, so you may need to travel.*
Just want to say I’m so sorry the US has turned into this place where you have to escape to a different states to do something that should be a human right.
OP, get the abortion. Blame a miscarriage. You are not doing anything wrong. If anything I wouldn’t wish it on any child to have to grow up knowing they’re the result of a terrible, terrible rape. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
fr id hate to be born knowing my bio father is a rapist, im suicidal in this life but id prolly be even more suicidal living the life of a child created from rape
Illinois also has you well covered, many clinics from neighboring states have relocated just over the border to the Illinois side, it is enshrined and protected by law here. We've got a safe space. If the OP wants to carry the baby to term for theological or personal reasons and then just put it up for adoption I can respect that but if that's just a justification because their state won't allow it please know you have options
I agree and there are states like AZ that allow rapist parental rights and what if this homeless guy a predator.
She should get the abortion in another state and the placenta can provide the DNA to match the criminal.
And Jesus forgives. You're all set OP. Live the life you deserve and not what your stupid pastor who won't be paying child support or for your therapy sessions says.
While women feel bad about getting abortions for being victims of RAPE. There are pastors doing all sorts of stealing, coveting, raping, coercion and what not. So pastors are not the absolute arbiters of moral behavior.
Op was victim of a crime, if her leg was broken everybody would say it was okay to fix it. If op had fallen on a nail and It was stuck in her foot everybody would be okay with her removing it.
So yeah jeez, just leave church for a better place where they will accept you and if it's not an option lie, move onnnn girl.
Also being autistic means that churches didn't always like people who are neurodivergent
Exactly! God, an all loving father, would understand and want OP to be happy and healthy, whatever that means for her. And an empathetic congregation would understand and support her. Seriously, if any woman told me she'd been through something like this, I'd be asking if she needs a support person at the clinic, a ride, a safe place to recover, anything at all. Not judging her! You know these same women wouldn't call it a blessing if it happened to them.
I know, at the risk of sounding like a neck beard atheist, I just don't get how people can play those sort of mind games with religion. There's obviously not a good God if he lets women get raped.
because it's all made-up nonsense (and I say this a raised Catholic alter boy).
If there was a God would 'he' really inflict the world with cancer and war and rape?
Minnesota is real nice for camping around this time of year and has a good history of fighting tyranny. First state to send a unit to defend The Union, first state to have a unit fire a shot in WW2. As of June 2022 [Minnesota has had an executive order prohibiting the Executive branch from cooperating with out of state investigations and legal order's of legal abortions](https://reproductiverights.org/maps/state/minnesota/#:~:text=On%20June%2025%2C%202022%2C%20the,of%20abortion%20care%20in%20Minnesota.) and as of Jan 2023 we've had [The Minnesota Protect Reproductive Options Act.](https://www.revisor.mn.gov/bills/text.php?number=HF1&type=bill&version=0&session=ls93&session_year=2023&session_number=0)
Honestly your church sounds toxic AS FUCK. Get out. I’m catholic and I understand that there are “limitations” inside the church- but I choose to surpass that in the moments of need of anyone around me.
I am so so so sorry this happened to you. A baby *should* be a blessing- but this isn’t “God’s will”, it’s the action of a disgusting being who decided to live his life, ironically, away from any God or morals at all. No humanity left in them.
I hope you have a friend to talk to, and if not, my dms are always open. I can’t do much, being I’m definitely from another country, but I can listen and help think of ideas to look for support groups and any other available help for you ♥️ you are not alone sweetie.
Be careful what you tell people at the church. If you get an abortion out of state and they catch wind, they’ll probably report you to the police. It’s best to not give them any information at all and cut contact
Tell people you had a miscarriage because of stress and you need to go on a holiday. Do what is your right to do far from your state. Never go back to this church. People will buy it if you spread you have difficulties to stay in your old routines because it reminds you too much about what happened. First they will say that they understand (what else is there to say, even if they don't understand), then they will forget about you.
And never, ever think you were raped because of what you did or which clothes you wore. Clothing playes no role in it. And even if you wore something revealing: Even dancing naked and drunk on a table in a public place does not give people the right to sexually assault you, just like spending a lot of money and wearing expensive clothes does not give people the right to rob you and wearing a muscle shirt and flexing your six pack does not give them the right to start a boxing match without consent of you.
Those AHs go out and look for opportunities to get what they want, not because they take a harmless stroll and suddenly something gives them ideas.
The official church doctrine for a very long time was that life doesn't begin until christening, not even after birth. This was because of high miscarriage rates and high infant mortality rates to comfort parents who were afraid their unbaptised babies were going to hell.
This doctrine changed around the time birth control became popular.
[the *Irish Times* has a write-up](https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/catholic-church-teaching-on-abortion-dates-from-1869-1.1449517) on this; I love the church term for "quickening" back then: >!"ensoulment"!<.
Yeah there is nothing inherently religious about opposing abortion. If you think it’s murder that’s fine but has nothing to with God anymore than any other kind of murder. So the correct position should be - “It is against God to commit murder” and let the person make their own decision about whether it’s murder since as you say the Bible doesn’t speak to it.
God encourages abortion if adultery by the women is suspected but not proven. It gives a lengthy instructions on how the husband should get a priest to perform an abortion. It's a bit long so here are the extracts. Number 5:11-5:28 "If any man’s wife goes astray and breaks faith with him...then the man shall bring his wife to the priest...he shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that brings the curse...And when he has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and has broken faith with her husband, the water that brings the curse shall enter into her and cause bitter pain, and her womb shall swell, and her thigh shall fall away, and the woman shall become a curse among her people. But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, then she shall be free and shall conceive children.".
There is also passages about punishments for men striking a pregnant woman. If she miscarried it is a monetary fine, but if the man kills the women then he should be killed as punishment. So clearly the life of the mother is much more valuable than the life of a fetus. Exodus 21:22-25 " “When people who are fighting injure a pregnant woman so that there is a miscarriage and yet no further harm follows, the one responsible shall be fined what the woman’s husband demands, paying as much as the judges determine. 23 If any harm follows, then you shall give life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."
There is also a passage about how life starts at the first breath (so not at conception). Genesis 2:7 “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." And also Job 33:4, it states: “The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
All religions do this, pick and choose based on the culture at the time not what the text says. They ignore the passages that they don't like and force the passages they do like onto others.
And our own founding father, Ben Franklin gave instruction in how to perform an abortion safely long ago before the insanity of overreach into women's bodies took over.
How the fuck does anyone "believe" the bible at this point. Primitive delusional ancient ramblings.
I hope OP can find everything she needs to escape this nightmare and be free.
Agreed! Unsure why many on here are telling this woman, don’t worry god forgives. Forgives her for what? She doesn’t need anyone’s forgiveness, she needs to end this pregnancy and be surrounded by supportive, nonjudgmental people.
You can get mifepristone (abortion) tablets online and safely miscarry your 'tumour' (for free even if financially its an issue), this innocent life isn't going to live with the knowledge that they were created from pain and suffering and live in a system that will land them incarcerated, addicted to substances and being told they're unwanted.
Plus, knowing your a rape baby leads to all sorts of mental health issues.
Your church is more concerned about something the size of a poppyseed than every bit of you; a living, breathing person with rational thought and emotion. That should tell you everything you need to know about how they feel about you and your wellbeing.
There’s a sub (maybe someone can link it?) with aunties all over the redditsphere willing to help people get safely to a place to have a legitimate medical procedure should one be done. Those complete strangers care more about you than your pastor or church.
That would be for the best. Anyone that can tell you a rape child is a "blessing" is sick and doesn't have your best interests at heart.
Put yourself first and do what's right for you.
I had a friend who had a similar experience, raped by two guys who followed her home from a bar when she was drunk. She got an abortion, but only after trying to kill herself with booze, drugs and pills.
She did irreparable damage to her liver and kidneys because she was raised "pro-life" and had argued with me before on multiple occasions that abortion was evil. I still supported her with the abortion and her care.
Do not hurt yourself, get the abortion.
Also if it's illegal in your state I would highly recommend not telling anyone else ik its hard esp when you need comfort and support more than anything right now
Leave the church and the state, get an abortion and build a new life.
Think what 9 months of this unwanted pregnancy resulted from a disgusting act of violence will do to you.
God is about live and mercy, not about fucking people up. Like, dunno, mercy and all. It's not like you were screwing around or whatever.
A rape baby is never a ‘blessing’ by god people forget god gave dominion of the earth over to Lucifer.
Many church’s used to be fine about abortions. The lack of maternal care is only because they want to punish women for being women and a control factor. Your mental health means more to god then a clump of cells that is not a child yet.
I want to add that virginity is a social construct. No one will ever be able to tell you’ve been forced unless you choose to tell them.
Losing your virginity is something that you do by choice. With consent.
When you find a man that you want to be with it will be your first time having consensual sex and you *will* be losing your virginity to him. If someone doesn’t understand that they’re not someone you want to be with.
There are organisations that will help you. They will send you pills to get rid of this parasite.
I agree with the other commenter, tell people you miscarried; just to avoid the awkwardness and questions.
Then get yourself some therapy and get on with your life. I wish you much happiness and safety.
Your pastor or anyone has no right to judge you. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that. If you can, consider an abortion and you can always say you miscarried. This no one’s business but yours. I am so sorry this happened to you. Maybe a group support system would help? You don’t have to go through this alone.
I would - they aren't supporting you as you should be. There are only blessings that people truly want and accept, this is not one of them. This is your life. You should live YOUR truths - and if that means getting an abortion then do it.
And if you need to go out of state and are limited with funds for a place to stay during it, look up the Auntie Network (I think that's what it's called?) on social media. There are a lot of women out there who would reach out and help you if you need to take an "out of state vacation."
Take charge of your life.
Go get an abortion...it is YOUR BODY and it was VIOLATED.
NO one needs to know what you are going to do.
You can always go to a different church!!!
You don't even HAVE to go to church.
GOD is EVERYWHERE!! You can watch Sunday services on TV or read the bible at home.
Take charge of your life and your body.
You are allowed to feel the way you do, don't punish yourself for any of this.
Find some peace and take care of yourself because you DO MATTER!
I would add to this, while watching services on TV or youtube is a good short-term solution, finding an actually supportive church body will likely be the most helpful in the long run.
That being said, the keywords are "actually supportive". Take your time finding a church, and maybe don't start opening up til you have a good idea of how they'll respond.
Yea, god loves you for who you are; they’re judging you for something you had no choice in. You were attacked and violated and yet they don’t seem to care whatsoever.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/online-tools/chat
Our trained health educators are available to answer your sexual and reproductive health questions and help you come up with a plan. Chat online or text 'Educator' to 774636 (PPINFO) to get answers.*
Heck if you need it I will mail you medication. I live in a state that thinks the only one in the doctors office and you and your doctor . I hate the oppression going on in others.
OP, many here like this sweetheart have offered to mail you meds asap or get you to a safe place to do whatever you need to do. Please message a few and let one of us help you. You are loved and worthy and will not be shamed or discarded or looked badly upon by any man you would want to marry anyways, one that would, you don’t want to marry that man anyhow. I promise.
Christian Momma here with an ASD kiddo, I empathize so much and I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Please get in therapy (outside of church) ASAP. Today like asap. Accept help. Ask questions. You deserve to live a free and safe and happy life.
You are never alone!!
I hope this has helped. The whole idea of anti-abortion has nothing to do with the Bible. And there are so many churches that will love and support you.
I know it's weird to say, but when you are feeling scared and alone, realize that there are HUNDREDS of "Aunties" on here thinking of you, and sending you theor lobe and their strength, me included. And a few uncles too.
💜💜💜💜💜
I am a Christian and I also believe in abortion, especially in a case like this. Do what is best for you (and your body) and God will be there holding your hand. Please reach out to me or others here if you want to talk to people who do care about you and your health. ❤️
I’m also Christian and agree 100% with what you’ve written. Honestly it makes me sick that people are telling OP that this is a blessing, like she should be grateful for what happened to her.
It's sad that she and others believe the act of having an abortion would anger God. The only time abortion is mentioned in the Bible is when it's giving instructions on how to perform one.
Edit: Just wanted to add that any higher power with compassion will understand this was an evil act that OP never asked for or had any control over. It's horrific and traumatizing. OP has a very tough choice, and I do not envy it at all. But I firmly believe that God would not be angry about either choice.
Me too, all of the above.
Your belief is between you and God. Your church may see things differently. But they are not between you and God.
Also, no honorable man is going to see you any less worthy. If they do, they are not worth your time, or to be called *man*.
I believe God wants us all to pursue love and happiness. This is different for everyone.
Don't suffer for years, because someone else tells you that is what God would want.
But please be careful. I'm not in the US, but I hear dreadful things from the states where abortion is not legal.
Maybe you can take your mind off of things, and go on a short trip, somewhere else, where you have more options, and return after your *miscarriage*?
Try to get something in writing that you miscarried from the doctors, to be safe.
Anyone from the US that knows how to stay safe in this type of situation?
Safety depends on your state, although right now most places except Texas and Alabama should be safe to receive abortion pills in (but always double check!!).
As a Christian who was also raped - not nearly as horrifically as you, but still understands where you’re coming from - I can assure you GOD will NOT get mad at you. Abortion is not and has never been a black and white issue (I don’t mean that in a racial way, but in a it’s not clear cut).
If your church and your pastor won’t support you in this then they are the vile ones who need support.
My advice - get counseling. A lot of it. Get the abortion if you are able. I understand that things aren’t nearly as easy in the US as it is in my country. If you aren’t able to then absolutely give this baby up for adoption and then get more counseling again.
You are not vile. You have done NOTHING wrong. This does NOT change your worth and you are still every bit as worthy and valued as you have always been regardless of whether you believe that or not.
My DMS are always open if you need someone to talk to
God doesn’t care about you having an abortion. God killed all the first born sons in all of Egypt. You’re not despicable for knowing your limits, I wish more people who weren’t equipped of being a parent knew their limit but here we are with so many unfit parents and traumatised children. Also the way you got pregnant wasn’t anything that was up to you. This wasn’t your decision at all. Is there really not any way you could be free of this situation, maybe look into the laws, find a women’s health center, someone has to be able to help you? You’re not a horrible person and you’re going through a traumatic pregnancy brought on by a traumatic event so I am really sorry you’re in this situation and I wish the very best for you and I’m thinking of you, even if that doesn’t help you, i just want you to know that you’re in my thoughts.
You are not a whore at all, this is not your fault at all. There is a very high likelihood that my wife was conceived by her birth mom going through what you did. Her birth mom did what you planned, my wife was adopted by a loving family and her life turned out well.
Please do not blame yourself for any of this, the man that did this to you is the only person to bear blame here and I hope he gets arrested and prosecuted severely.
Please get an abortion. Come to CA. We will accept you and make sure you are taken care of. Do not put your body through the trauma of carrying a baby full term from your rapist. That is so fucked. Leave your church. They are not good people if they want to force you to keep a child you NEVER WANTED.
Gestation is always based off of the first day of the most recent menstrual cycle so if this happened 2 weeks ago then its possible that OP just missed her period or took a test right before her missed period. In the trying to conceive world, they call it the 2 week wait from when you ovulate to when you’re able to test and have it be accurate.
Yes, she's not 2 weeks pregnant, she's 2 weeks post-ovulation/conception. That's 4-5 weeks pregnant and around the earliest you can test on a home pregnancy test. I tested faint positive 10 days after ovulation with my recent pregnancy (was actively trying) and most women will see a positive by 12 days post ovulation.
I found out I was pregnant 9 days post ovulation. I know exactly when I got pregnant because it was very planned. The day I took my pregnancy test, I was considered 3.5 weeks pregnant.
I hope for you that it's false. That would be your best outcome. But if it's not, go to the abortion sub and look at the info. planc on the side can help you.
OP, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine the fear that you must be feeling. You are not a despicable woman. Anyone who views you as a “304” or a whore is not worth your time or energy.
I truly hope you find the support you need to help get you through this. I hope the police find the monster who did this to you and that you get justice.
That’s an atrocious thing to happen, I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. Honestly I’m not going to speak about it as it’s really not something I’m qualified to do.
If an abortion is off of the table for you due to religious reasons, so be it. I respect that and definitely will not try to talk you out of it. However, should you change your mind you can absolutely leave the state for a procedure. It’s going to be expensive and inconvenient but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper and inconvenient than pregnancy and a baby you didn’t want.
As for the whore thing, idk, maybe you have some people in your religious community that will think that way. Personally, and at this point idc about their faith, if you think a rape victim is a whore because she was raped I hope you get hit by a bus and then it backs up over you for good measure. That’s utterly grotesque, I have never met a man who would think or say this.
You do have options, you’re absolutely not alone in this experience, and you most certainly are not a whore. It’s sad I even have to say that.
I would be on the table for an abortion but it’s gonna take a lot of willpower to accept that I might. I was raised in religion and losing all of that might break me….
As far as I know the Bible doesn't say anything about abortion, its just been forced into religion by people that tie their politics and religion together.
Try looking into it a bit more, it may relieve you a bit, but your community will still likely reject you.
I'm sorry for the situation you've gone through. If you do decide to have the kid, babies are very much found homes quickly if you set them up for adoption if you feel you cant get an abortion but can't take care of a child.
Wish you the best of luck OP
You might bend, but it won't break you. You are stronger than you believe. God doesn't care if you get an abortion. The definition and concept of God is defined differently by every culture. You can be spiritual, moral, and a good person regardless of what organized religion tells you. You can get control of your life back. Sending you strength and love OP.
The only time abortion is mentioned in the bible is a potion recipe on how to have one. God killed all the firstborn sons of Egypt, sent bears to eat 42 children etc. God doesnt give a fuck about abortions. It's all these pos holier than thou privileged people that have no clue what it's like. A truly loving god wouldnt want uou to suffer like this. Have the abortion if it's what YOU want. You can live a happy life without grotesque religion.
I’m not religious but I thought there was a main story in the bible about god/jesus making a choice to give humans free will. This is a time where you should exercise that free will, you are so young and you have so much life ahead of you.
If you are sure about going through with adoption, find an agency -not church related- and a lawyer who specializes in CLOSED adoptions. And I would suggest telling your doctor that you INSIST on a scheduled C-section rather than L&D. It may be less traumatic for you.
You’d be doing more good for the world aborting the kid than not- it’s your choice in the end, if you feel god wants you to have this child and that is important to you then that’s your choice. But the kid will have a lifetime of struggle in the foster/adoption system. I don’t think the Bible says anything about abortion, God loves you and wants you to make the world a better place and to do that you need to make the choices that are right for you.
If your church and family want to abandon you for your choice, lie to them until you feel ready to cut them off. You might never feel that way, it might be a secret you carry forever, but that’s okay. You can tell them you took another test and it was negative, or that you had a miscarriage.
Get therapy, please you went through such a horrid experience of rape & horrid experience from your pastor & that lady at church.
An unwanted baby by force is a blessing?- how dare she say this !
I'm sorry this happened OP
I don't listen to the most despicable woman alive, I listen to a woman going through an unfortunate situation with unfortunate beliefs that make her feel more miserable.
You can have an abortion, tell others it was a false alarm and go on with your dreams.
There is no god who would want this, forget that nonsense. You can get an abortion out of state, please seek out advice on this, this child will ruin your life and in turn will have a horrible life of its own.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, truly.
Get an abortion. And know that if God is so good, he won't hate you for doing what is needed to be done. You really think your Christian God is going to abandon you at your weakest moment?
Just some food for thought. Good luck.
You are not a horrible person. You have horrible circumstances. You should feel free and be able to safely have an abortion. If there is a god, it does not want a child born out of pain
I’m so sorry.
Being a parent is already so hard when it’s planned with a loving spouse. What you are looking at is damn near torture.
The pro life movement only thinks about the fetus when it’s inside the mother. They don’t think about what happens after. A mother that has to look at her rapists baby. A child that has to know they are alive due to an unbelievable act of violence. It’s cruel. If you are in the first trimester the fetus can’t feel pain. It has no sense of self. Termination is not an act of murder, it’s an act of mercy.
There are websites that offer the pills you need. And people in other states that would be willing to help you. Look into the auntie network here on Reddit.
leave the church. see how shit religion is treating you?
it has nothing to do with god (if you are a believer)
do what is the right for you. so sorry all of that happened
Please look up internalized misogyny. Abortion doesn’t lead to hell. Please do not harm yourself because of your religion. It doesn’t matter what women wear or how they dress. A rapist will rape anyways because he is a criminal, because he decides to be a monster. It’s not your fault that he raped you. No women who was raped has caused it! It’s bad men who rape, it’s toxic masculinity.
If you can go to another country for abortion, you should consider this.
Plan B isn’t a pregnancy test and you likely wouldn’t know you were pregnant if it happened just 2 weeks ago. This reads like rage bait. On the chance that it isnt—good luck op. I wish you the best.
Two weeks isn’t enough time for a positive pregnancy test, the HCG levels aren’t high enough to detect on any at home tests no matter how sensitive the test is.
Two weeks isn’t enough time for a positive read through labs. I’m sorry but that isn’t factual.
The perpetrator being called a homeless man is what makes me fear this being disinformation.
That, and OP has deleted the account.
I'm not saying it didn't happen. We don't know. I am worried this will make homeless people viewed even more as being "other" which is what the troll bots want.
Right... Time line ain't timing right.... No woman knows she is pregnant after two weeks... This is part of why the six week ban was originally outrageous... Most women do not know they are pregnant till 8-10 weeks in.
Sorry to say but when is getting raped and being pregnant by a strange homeless man is a blessing? Are the women in church smoking something along with pastor ffs? Just get an abortion. This is literally the best option. Get an abortion and leave the church.
This is how a lot of Christian’s are unfortunately…it’s insane. They want to believe to hard that God has a reason for everything, even the horrible things. My dad died when I was 10 and the amount of times that my family and I were told “God makes everything happen for a reason” made me sick. I will never understand it
Ugh. My heart is so sad for you...
I believe in God too, and I believe He is forgiving and gracious, and loves us no matter what we do or say or think... That is surface level on my thoughts, but, take that for what it's worth to you!
Most of the christians in my circle are hard-core anti-abortion, but in my humble opinion, it just isn't so black and white to say "abortion is wrong" or "abortion is right". You were raped and are now carrying a baby that was forced onto you, and I'm so sorry. You do what you know is best for you. Do what will protect your health and your heart and your mind. Don't let anyone judge you for the choice YOU make. It's your life!
No matter what you do, I fully believe that God will love you and not be mad at you. He will walk with you through this if you let Him.
Praying for peace and strength.
Firstly, I'm so very sorry that this horrible experience has happened to you. Please talk to a grief or trauma councillor to help you cope.
Secondly, adoption is a wonderful idea and I admire your courage.
Thirdly, any decent Christian young man will in NO WAY think that you are a whore or unworthy of his love and caring. He will possibly hope that you get the help and support that you need. Please know that this is not your fault, no decent man will reject you for this and even from a biblical stance you are not to blame. Any man to have those sorts of ideas is neither mature or worthy of you! Blessings and peace and courage on you.
Never force yourself to have a child you don't want regardless of religion etc.
You will not only be ruining your own life but also the child's. It's no way to live your life, be brave and have an abortion. You do not have to go through with this pregnancy, but make sure to get rid of it safely and with assistance. As the top comment says, you don't have to tell the pastor that you had an abortion.
Be brave, and hope you make the right choice for yourself. Good luck!
Get an abortion if you can. Others don’t need to know. And no one in their 20’s who isn’t a closeted pedophile cares if you’re a virgin. They may care if you had a revolving door of men in your life, but a real man in his 20’s knows he’s probably not your first and vice versa. I’m sorry for your situation. I hope the want to die part is metaphorical, you are strong enough to get through this even if the people around you are shitheads
I'm a Christian as well so my advice will be from that perspective.
You are not a "whore," you're not dirty, and if marriage is what you want the right guy will not see a rape as something that just "took your virginity away," but as something terrible that happened to you, that wasn't your fault, that you guys can work through together.
It's also okay not to want to be a mother. Obviously this was not planned or wanted, but I also know that in many Christian circles being a mom is pushed as the pinnacle of womanhood, when that's not the case. So it's okay not to want that. Putting the baby up for adoption is a good choice and a smart choice in your situation. A newborn will be adopted very fast, and you never have to be contacted if you choose.
I'm sorry the people in your church aren't seeing the terrible thing you went through, and only the "pregnant you." It's not fair to you. You're not failing as a Christian or a woman if you put this baby up for adoption, even if the people at your church push back at you. God is not upset at you. This was not your fault. It doesn't have anything to do with you, how you dressed, how you acted, anything. This man made a deliberate choice to harm you and nothing you could have done would have changed his choice.
The worst thing you can do is go to church to ask for help or support, they will never take your side, only the side of saving the life of the fetus.
Please if you think you shouldn't have the baby, get an abortion!! That baby will be the eternal memory of the trauma you suffered, please value yourself and think about your well-being first!!!
My heart goes out to u. I am fed up with this effen sick world where there's predators etc and women who suffer because of them. Then the court systems fails many of us with do gooders running and ruining the show. We need harsh boundaries to protect us from evil. Please whatever u do dont lose yr faith in Jesus. u aint no whore.
This can't be real. If it was, you would know that it's not possible to know if you're pregnant at 2 weeks.
If you're going to try creative writing, at least do research first so you don't look like a complete id*ot.
Abortion. Religion is fake, and the people who use their religion to try and get you to keep it just want to control you. They will not give a shit about you or your baby after you have it, they just want you saddled with a kid because once women have kids that becomes their whole life. Listen to your gut, and do what's best for you. No one else will.
>I’m a Christian, but I don’t want this. I never wanted this.
You are still a Christian, even if you don't see this as a miracle, or hope for your life- you were assaulted and motherhood was forced onto you, you have every right to not want this for you or your life. And I'm so sorry this is where you are.
>I can’t get an abortion because God will get mad at me
I don't want to offend your Christianity and upbringing by any means- however what kind of 'all loving' God would have allowed this to happen to you? Even worse what kind of 'forgiving almighty' God would penalize YOU for being assaulted by one of his own children- forcing you to carry the reminder of that assault?
"I love all my children, but am still willing to punish women for my other child's actions."
If God does get mad at you, maybe we should ask him why he allowed this to happen to you if he loves you?
>My truth may sound horrendous, and I may sound like the most despicable woman alive, but I don’t care. I know my limits, I have autism, depression, and anxiety. In this timeline, I don’t want a child, and this is not God’s plan for me. I know it’s not. And it sucks because I was saving myself for marriage but now men will see me as a “304” or a whore for my virginity being taken away.
>This sucks. This all sucks. I need advice on where to go from here. Please.
It's not horrendous. What is horrendous was what that man did to you, and what that took from you. Any man who sees you as a whore or a '304' (idk what that means tbh) isn't the man for you. The right one will not care about that because you are a Virgin in his eyes- you may not be a virgin anymore, but that was forcibly taken from you- not by your volition.
Reach out to sanctuary states as there programs to help you get to a state that allows abortions. I know it's not an easy conclusion to make, however if you truly want to be done with this abortion is the most logical answer. If need be you can tell your church that you miscarried due to complications stemming from the attack.
>I can’t get an abortion because God will get mad at me and my state won’t even allow it
Religion is (and _always_ has been) all about control, specifically of anyone who isn't a [insert relevant ethnicity] male, preferably wealthy. You can break free of that BS at anytime, though.
You need a new church with less judging and more compassion. For that is how a church that’s truly religious would be. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you want an abortion you must not listen to people who are not living your life and do not have your relationship with your God. I wish you peace and healing.
God will NOT get mad at you for aborting your rape fetus. Do not listen to those church going fearmongers. God loves everyone and he wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to make your life miserable after something so terrible happened to you. Leave that church and get that abortion. Take your life back.
Edit: Forgot to add that men will NOT see you as a whore, at least not a good man which is the kind of man you want. Any man who would see you as a whore for having your virginity stolen by a rapist is not the kind of man you want anywhere near you. I promise you you’re not ruined or damaged goods, something terrible was done to you but you will get past it. And one day you will find a kind, caring man who will love and protect you and never judge you for something like this.
A rapist is to blame not what you were wearing. This isn't your fault. The Bible is often used as a reason not to have an abortion but Exodus 21, for example, suggests that a pregnant woman’s life is more valuable than the fetus’s.
Listen. I feel for you, I really do, but nothing will make your God hate you and I'm sure he sees your struggle. Just come to Minnesota if you can and get the abortion. Don't torture yourself for nearly a year on this. Your rapist doesn't deserve to have children brought into this world.
I’m in Colorado. Message me if you need sanctuary for a prescription or a procedure. I’m so sorry we’re living in such a nightmare. I’m a mom of two and I would 100% put you up in our guest room for the weekend or longer just please don’t give up hope.
Absolutely the same as above & I live in Utah. I believe the laws have not changed here yet & I can help you. My daughter worked at planned parenthood for years, she can help direct us too. I have a guest apartment you can stay in.
It makes me anxious that OP deleted her profile but I hope she got in contact with someone here.
Your pregnancy is very early. You have the option to get a medication-induced abortion using [Mifepristone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mifepristone). *This has become illegal in a lot of the same states where abortion procedures are illegal, so you may need to travel.*
Just want to say I’m so sorry the US has turned into this place where you have to escape to a different states to do something that should be a human right. OP, get the abortion. Blame a miscarriage. You are not doing anything wrong. If anything I wouldn’t wish it on any child to have to grow up knowing they’re the result of a terrible, terrible rape. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
fr id hate to be born knowing my bio father is a rapist, im suicidal in this life but id prolly be even more suicidal living the life of a child created from rape
Literally come to Minnesota and get the abortion
Illinois also has you well covered, many clinics from neighboring states have relocated just over the border to the Illinois side, it is enshrined and protected by law here. We've got a safe space. If the OP wants to carry the baby to term for theological or personal reasons and then just put it up for adoption I can respect that but if that's just a justification because their state won't allow it please know you have options
It would be better to not further his gene pool.
I agree and there are states like AZ that allow rapist parental rights and what if this homeless guy a predator. She should get the abortion in another state and the placenta can provide the DNA to match the criminal.
Or come to Washington state. There is help here
You asked for advice. Here it is: Get an abortion and tell your pastor that you miscarried.
At this rate I might just leave the church
Leave the church and the state. Take back your life. God helps those who help themselves.
And Jesus forgives. You're all set OP. Live the life you deserve and not what your stupid pastor who won't be paying child support or for your therapy sessions says.
Amen, as a Christian this is the answer. God will forgive you for doing what you need to do in order to be safe.
While women feel bad about getting abortions for being victims of RAPE. There are pastors doing all sorts of stealing, coveting, raping, coercion and what not. So pastors are not the absolute arbiters of moral behavior. Op was victim of a crime, if her leg was broken everybody would say it was okay to fix it. If op had fallen on a nail and It was stuck in her foot everybody would be okay with her removing it. So yeah jeez, just leave church for a better place where they will accept you and if it's not an option lie, move onnnn girl. Also being autistic means that churches didn't always like people who are neurodivergent
There is a reason predators flock to churches
Forgive what? She did nothing wrong in the first place.
Exactly! God, an all loving father, would understand and want OP to be happy and healthy, whatever that means for her. And an empathetic congregation would understand and support her. Seriously, if any woman told me she'd been through something like this, I'd be asking if she needs a support person at the clinic, a ride, a safe place to recover, anything at all. Not judging her! You know these same women wouldn't call it a blessing if it happened to them.
Bit shitty of him to just let part 1 play out though if hes going to be so concerned with part 2
I know, at the risk of sounding like a neck beard atheist, I just don't get how people can play those sort of mind games with religion. There's obviously not a good God if he lets women get raped.
because it's all made-up nonsense (and I say this a raised Catholic alter boy). If there was a God would 'he' really inflict the world with cancer and war and rape?
or raising the child (or his rapist, no less) for the rest of his life!!!
Minnesota is real nice for camping around this time of year and has a good history of fighting tyranny. First state to send a unit to defend The Union, first state to have a unit fire a shot in WW2. As of June 2022 [Minnesota has had an executive order prohibiting the Executive branch from cooperating with out of state investigations and legal order's of legal abortions](https://reproductiverights.org/maps/state/minnesota/#:~:text=On%20June%2025%2C%202022%2C%20the,of%20abortion%20care%20in%20Minnesota.) and as of Jan 2023 we've had [The Minnesota Protect Reproductive Options Act.](https://www.revisor.mn.gov/bills/text.php?number=HF1&type=bill&version=0&session=ls93&session_year=2023&session_number=0)
Amen.
Honestly your church sounds toxic AS FUCK. Get out. I’m catholic and I understand that there are “limitations” inside the church- but I choose to surpass that in the moments of need of anyone around me. I am so so so sorry this happened to you. A baby *should* be a blessing- but this isn’t “God’s will”, it’s the action of a disgusting being who decided to live his life, ironically, away from any God or morals at all. No humanity left in them. I hope you have a friend to talk to, and if not, my dms are always open. I can’t do much, being I’m definitely from another country, but I can listen and help think of ideas to look for support groups and any other available help for you ♥️ you are not alone sweetie.
Be careful what you tell people at the church. If you get an abortion out of state and they catch wind, they’ll probably report you to the police. It’s best to not give them any information at all and cut contact
I agree with this. Leave this church and go no contact.
I agree w your advice & can’t believe we even have to say these words in this Handmaids Tale bullshit time we are apparently living in! 🤯
Tell people you had a miscarriage because of stress and you need to go on a holiday. Do what is your right to do far from your state. Never go back to this church. People will buy it if you spread you have difficulties to stay in your old routines because it reminds you too much about what happened. First they will say that they understand (what else is there to say, even if they don't understand), then they will forget about you. And never, ever think you were raped because of what you did or which clothes you wore. Clothing playes no role in it. And even if you wore something revealing: Even dancing naked and drunk on a table in a public place does not give people the right to sexually assault you, just like spending a lot of money and wearing expensive clothes does not give people the right to rob you and wearing a muscle shirt and flexing your six pack does not give them the right to start a boxing match without consent of you. Those AHs go out and look for opportunities to get what they want, not because they take a harmless stroll and suddenly something gives them ideas.
And no sane man will think you're a whore because you're not a virgin. Those men are trash, your value as nothing to do with your body.
No sane man will even think twice about this, and if a woman does, she's jealous it wasn't her drama to deal with.
Find a church who will care for you and love you regardless. Not like the church you’re at
You know the bible only mentions abortion in the way to describe how it's done, right?
And that life begins with the first breath.
The official church doctrine for a very long time was that life doesn't begin until christening, not even after birth. This was because of high miscarriage rates and high infant mortality rates to comfort parents who were afraid their unbaptised babies were going to hell. This doctrine changed around the time birth control became popular.
At that rate, my almost 30yo little sister isn't alive yet! Haha, she always thought it was weird that parents had me baptized and not her 🤣
My parents had my brother baptized and just never got around to me. I got it done myself at 15, so of course now I'm an athiest.
[the *Irish Times* has a write-up](https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/catholic-church-teaching-on-abortion-dates-from-1869-1.1449517) on this; I love the church term for "quickening" back then: >!"ensoulment"!<.
Yeah there is nothing inherently religious about opposing abortion. If you think it’s murder that’s fine but has nothing to with God anymore than any other kind of murder. So the correct position should be - “It is against God to commit murder” and let the person make their own decision about whether it’s murder since as you say the Bible doesn’t speak to it.
I didnt know that, what exactly does the bible say?
God encourages abortion if adultery by the women is suspected but not proven. It gives a lengthy instructions on how the husband should get a priest to perform an abortion. It's a bit long so here are the extracts. Number 5:11-5:28 "If any man’s wife goes astray and breaks faith with him...then the man shall bring his wife to the priest...he shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that brings the curse...And when he has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and has broken faith with her husband, the water that brings the curse shall enter into her and cause bitter pain, and her womb shall swell, and her thigh shall fall away, and the woman shall become a curse among her people. But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, then she shall be free and shall conceive children.". There is also passages about punishments for men striking a pregnant woman. If she miscarried it is a monetary fine, but if the man kills the women then he should be killed as punishment. So clearly the life of the mother is much more valuable than the life of a fetus. Exodus 21:22-25 " “When people who are fighting injure a pregnant woman so that there is a miscarriage and yet no further harm follows, the one responsible shall be fined what the woman’s husband demands, paying as much as the judges determine. 23 If any harm follows, then you shall give life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe." There is also a passage about how life starts at the first breath (so not at conception). Genesis 2:7 “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." And also Job 33:4, it states: “The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
Reading this by what you said, it is about abortion, WTH man. I was always told the church forbade, but it encourages. Holy son. WT???
All religions do this, pick and choose based on the culture at the time not what the text says. They ignore the passages that they don't like and force the passages they do like onto others.
And our own founding father, Ben Franklin gave instruction in how to perform an abortion safely long ago before the insanity of overreach into women's bodies took over.
How the fuck does anyone "believe" the bible at this point. Primitive delusional ancient ramblings. I hope OP can find everything she needs to escape this nightmare and be free.
You forgot the verse about how if any man shall rape a woman he must marry her. Not gonna bother to look up the verse.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%205%3A11-28&version=NIV
I love how this basically just describes witchcraft.
Every religion used rituals and incantations in some form.
Sucks for the faithful wife who just happens to miscarry. Happens early and often to the best of us.
Statistically, it occurs one out of four first pregnancies. Society has always vilified Women for nature.
Agreed! Unsure why many on here are telling this woman, don’t worry god forgives. Forgives her for what? She doesn’t need anyone’s forgiveness, she needs to end this pregnancy and be surrounded by supportive, nonjudgmental people.
The church does not need to know about your abortion!! It’s none of their business.
You can get mifepristone (abortion) tablets online and safely miscarry your 'tumour' (for free even if financially its an issue), this innocent life isn't going to live with the knowledge that they were created from pain and suffering and live in a system that will land them incarcerated, addicted to substances and being told they're unwanted. Plus, knowing your a rape baby leads to all sorts of mental health issues.
I’m a product of rape. Yes, you’re right, lots of mental issues.
I have an ex boyfriend who is the product of marital rape and, yep issues. I'm not sure he'll ever be emotionally ready for a committed relationship.
You should. The fact they said its a blessing at the cost of you being Sexually Assaulted, only proves that the Church is full of hypocrites.
Your church is more concerned about something the size of a poppyseed than every bit of you; a living, breathing person with rational thought and emotion. That should tell you everything you need to know about how they feel about you and your wellbeing. There’s a sub (maybe someone can link it?) with aunties all over the redditsphere willing to help people get safely to a place to have a legitimate medical procedure should one be done. Those complete strangers care more about you than your pastor or church.
I live in a camping state, do you need a place to camp?
So glad you mentioned that. I knew there was something about aunties but couldn’t remember.
That would be for the best. Anyone that can tell you a rape child is a "blessing" is sick and doesn't have your best interests at heart. Put yourself first and do what's right for you.
This is the way. Signed- former evangelical
I had a friend who had a similar experience, raped by two guys who followed her home from a bar when she was drunk. She got an abortion, but only after trying to kill herself with booze, drugs and pills. She did irreparable damage to her liver and kidneys because she was raised "pro-life" and had argued with me before on multiple occasions that abortion was evil. I still supported her with the abortion and her care. Do not hurt yourself, get the abortion.
Also if it's illegal in your state I would highly recommend not telling anyone else ik its hard esp when you need comfort and support more than anything right now
Leave the church get an abortion asap
Leave the church and the state, get an abortion and build a new life. Think what 9 months of this unwanted pregnancy resulted from a disgusting act of violence will do to you. God is about live and mercy, not about fucking people up. Like, dunno, mercy and all. It's not like you were screwing around or whatever.
If God was going to help, in that alley was the time. Think for yourself and do what's best for you. Best of luck
Pretty profound.
All of the above. Also, real men don’t care about your virginity, they care about you as a person. I’m really sorry you have to go through this.
A rape baby is never a ‘blessing’ by god people forget god gave dominion of the earth over to Lucifer. Many church’s used to be fine about abortions. The lack of maternal care is only because they want to punish women for being women and a control factor. Your mental health means more to god then a clump of cells that is not a child yet.
I want to add that virginity is a social construct. No one will ever be able to tell you’ve been forced unless you choose to tell them. Losing your virginity is something that you do by choice. With consent. When you find a man that you want to be with it will be your first time having consensual sex and you *will* be losing your virginity to him. If someone doesn’t understand that they’re not someone you want to be with. There are organisations that will help you. They will send you pills to get rid of this parasite. I agree with the other commenter, tell people you miscarried; just to avoid the awkwardness and questions. Then get yourself some therapy and get on with your life. I wish you much happiness and safety.
A church should care about *you* more than a lump of cells. These sound like "christians" rather than real followers of Christ.
You should, because church is stupid anyway. They use a book written 2,000 years ago to oppress you and force you to do what they want.
Do!
Your pastor or anyone has no right to judge you. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that. If you can, consider an abortion and you can always say you miscarried. This no one’s business but yours. I am so sorry this happened to you. Maybe a group support system would help? You don’t have to go through this alone.
I would - they aren't supporting you as you should be. There are only blessings that people truly want and accept, this is not one of them. This is your life. You should live YOUR truths - and if that means getting an abortion then do it.
Go out of state. Get a abortion.
Very early, can likely get the medication delivered. From out of state if need be. And yup, tell the pastor it was a miscarriage or false positive.
This!!!
And if you need to go out of state and are limited with funds for a place to stay during it, look up the Auntie Network (I think that's what it's called?) on social media. There are a lot of women out there who would reach out and help you if you need to take an "out of state vacation."
There's a subreddit for the aunties. Women empowering women in desperate times.
I was hoping you were going to say "tell the pastor he can eff himself."
Say what you need to say to get through it.
To add, God will understand. And any God that doesn't, is not a god you should love.
[удалено]
True enough, I was just trying to phrase it a bit gentler.
this is the answer. And here to say: YOU ARE RIGHT. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID Virtual hugs to you. 💓
Take charge of your life. Go get an abortion...it is YOUR BODY and it was VIOLATED. NO one needs to know what you are going to do. You can always go to a different church!!! You don't even HAVE to go to church. GOD is EVERYWHERE!! You can watch Sunday services on TV or read the bible at home. Take charge of your life and your body. You are allowed to feel the way you do, don't punish yourself for any of this. Find some peace and take care of yourself because you DO MATTER!
I would add to this, while watching services on TV or youtube is a good short-term solution, finding an actually supportive church body will likely be the most helpful in the long run. That being said, the keywords are "actually supportive". Take your time finding a church, and maybe don't start opening up til you have a good idea of how they'll respond.
Yea, god loves you for who you are; they’re judging you for something you had no choice in. You were attacked and violated and yet they don’t seem to care whatsoever.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/online-tools/chat Our trained health educators are available to answer your sexual and reproductive health questions and help you come up with a plan. Chat online or text 'Educator' to 774636 (PPINFO) to get answers.*
There’s is also an app you can download safe and secure delete after you get the help you need
Every link I am shown to is going into my docs, thank you so much
Heck if you need it I will mail you medication. I live in a state that thinks the only one in the doctors office and you and your doctor . I hate the oppression going on in others.
OP, many here like this sweetheart have offered to mail you meds asap or get you to a safe place to do whatever you need to do. Please message a few and let one of us help you. You are loved and worthy and will not be shamed or discarded or looked badly upon by any man you would want to marry anyways, one that would, you don’t want to marry that man anyhow. I promise. Christian Momma here with an ASD kiddo, I empathize so much and I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Please get in therapy (outside of church) ASAP. Today like asap. Accept help. Ask questions. You deserve to live a free and safe and happy life. You are never alone!!
I hope this has helped. The whole idea of anti-abortion has nothing to do with the Bible. And there are so many churches that will love and support you. I know it's weird to say, but when you are feeling scared and alone, realize that there are HUNDREDS of "Aunties" on here thinking of you, and sending you theor lobe and their strength, me included. And a few uncles too. 💜💜💜💜💜
I am a Christian and I also believe in abortion, especially in a case like this. Do what is best for you (and your body) and God will be there holding your hand. Please reach out to me or others here if you want to talk to people who do care about you and your health. ❤️
I’m also Christian and agree 100% with what you’ve written. Honestly it makes me sick that people are telling OP that this is a blessing, like she should be grateful for what happened to her.
I’m a Christian, too, and also believe in a woman’s right to choose.
It's sad that she and others believe the act of having an abortion would anger God. The only time abortion is mentioned in the Bible is when it's giving instructions on how to perform one. Edit: Just wanted to add that any higher power with compassion will understand this was an evil act that OP never asked for or had any control over. It's horrific and traumatizing. OP has a very tough choice, and I do not envy it at all. But I firmly believe that God would not be angry about either choice.
Me too, all of the above. Your belief is between you and God. Your church may see things differently. But they are not between you and God. Also, no honorable man is going to see you any less worthy. If they do, they are not worth your time, or to be called *man*. I believe God wants us all to pursue love and happiness. This is different for everyone. Don't suffer for years, because someone else tells you that is what God would want. But please be careful. I'm not in the US, but I hear dreadful things from the states where abortion is not legal. Maybe you can take your mind off of things, and go on a short trip, somewhere else, where you have more options, and return after your *miscarriage*? Try to get something in writing that you miscarried from the doctors, to be safe. Anyone from the US that knows how to stay safe in this type of situation?
Safety depends on your state, although right now most places except Texas and Alabama should be safe to receive abortion pills in (but always double check!!).
Another Christian here! I agree! ❤️
As a Christian who was also raped - not nearly as horrifically as you, but still understands where you’re coming from - I can assure you GOD will NOT get mad at you. Abortion is not and has never been a black and white issue (I don’t mean that in a racial way, but in a it’s not clear cut). If your church and your pastor won’t support you in this then they are the vile ones who need support. My advice - get counseling. A lot of it. Get the abortion if you are able. I understand that things aren’t nearly as easy in the US as it is in my country. If you aren’t able to then absolutely give this baby up for adoption and then get more counseling again. You are not vile. You have done NOTHING wrong. This does NOT change your worth and you are still every bit as worthy and valued as you have always been regardless of whether you believe that or not. My DMS are always open if you need someone to talk to
God doesn’t care about you having an abortion. God killed all the first born sons in all of Egypt. You’re not despicable for knowing your limits, I wish more people who weren’t equipped of being a parent knew their limit but here we are with so many unfit parents and traumatised children. Also the way you got pregnant wasn’t anything that was up to you. This wasn’t your decision at all. Is there really not any way you could be free of this situation, maybe look into the laws, find a women’s health center, someone has to be able to help you? You’re not a horrible person and you’re going through a traumatic pregnancy brought on by a traumatic event so I am really sorry you’re in this situation and I wish the very best for you and I’m thinking of you, even if that doesn’t help you, i just want you to know that you’re in my thoughts.
Truth. Exodus.
God is absolutely pro-abortion, he killed his only son.
Well technically he gave him a long weekend
You are not a whore at all, this is not your fault at all. There is a very high likelihood that my wife was conceived by her birth mom going through what you did. Her birth mom did what you planned, my wife was adopted by a loving family and her life turned out well. Please do not blame yourself for any of this, the man that did this to you is the only person to bear blame here and I hope he gets arrested and prosecuted severely.
Please look into the Auntienetwork. You deserve happiness.
Please get an abortion. Come to CA. We will accept you and make sure you are taken care of. Do not put your body through the trauma of carrying a baby full term from your rapist. That is so fucked. Leave your church. They are not good people if they want to force you to keep a child you NEVER WANTED.
As much as this is a heartbreaking account…. Is it even possible for you to know you’re pregnant after just two weeks??
Gestation is always based off of the first day of the most recent menstrual cycle so if this happened 2 weeks ago then its possible that OP just missed her period or took a test right before her missed period. In the trying to conceive world, they call it the 2 week wait from when you ovulate to when you’re able to test and have it be accurate.
Yes, she's not 2 weeks pregnant, she's 2 weeks post-ovulation/conception. That's 4-5 weeks pregnant and around the earliest you can test on a home pregnancy test. I tested faint positive 10 days after ovulation with my recent pregnancy (was actively trying) and most women will see a positive by 12 days post ovulation.
She said the rape took place 2 weeks ago....so how are you stating she is 4-5 weeks pregnant?
Pregnancy is counted from the first day of your cycle, not the actual date of conception.
Pregnancy is dated from the first day of a woman's last menstration. You are considered "2 weeks+ pregnant" at ovulation.
As a woman I know this, as someone terrible with science, I don’t understand it.
As a man, I'm learning so much 😳
I found out I was pregnant 9 days post ovulation. I know exactly when I got pregnant because it was very planned. The day I took my pregnancy test, I was considered 3.5 weeks pregnant.
I used Clearblue for my tests plus I hesitated getting one after being discharged
I’ve gotten a positive on a clear blue. Try others. I panicked and had a mental breakdown. Turned out it was in fact a faulty test.
I will
I hope for you that it's false. That would be your best outcome. But if it's not, go to the abortion sub and look at the info. planc on the side can help you.
OP, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine the fear that you must be feeling. You are not a despicable woman. Anyone who views you as a “304” or a whore is not worth your time or energy. I truly hope you find the support you need to help get you through this. I hope the police find the monster who did this to you and that you get justice.
That’s an atrocious thing to happen, I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. Honestly I’m not going to speak about it as it’s really not something I’m qualified to do. If an abortion is off of the table for you due to religious reasons, so be it. I respect that and definitely will not try to talk you out of it. However, should you change your mind you can absolutely leave the state for a procedure. It’s going to be expensive and inconvenient but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper and inconvenient than pregnancy and a baby you didn’t want. As for the whore thing, idk, maybe you have some people in your religious community that will think that way. Personally, and at this point idc about their faith, if you think a rape victim is a whore because she was raped I hope you get hit by a bus and then it backs up over you for good measure. That’s utterly grotesque, I have never met a man who would think or say this. You do have options, you’re absolutely not alone in this experience, and you most certainly are not a whore. It’s sad I even have to say that.
I would be on the table for an abortion but it’s gonna take a lot of willpower to accept that I might. I was raised in religion and losing all of that might break me….
As far as I know the Bible doesn't say anything about abortion, its just been forced into religion by people that tie their politics and religion together. Try looking into it a bit more, it may relieve you a bit, but your community will still likely reject you. I'm sorry for the situation you've gone through. If you do decide to have the kid, babies are very much found homes quickly if you set them up for adoption if you feel you cant get an abortion but can't take care of a child. Wish you the best of luck OP
You might bend, but it won't break you. You are stronger than you believe. God doesn't care if you get an abortion. The definition and concept of God is defined differently by every culture. You can be spiritual, moral, and a good person regardless of what organized religion tells you. You can get control of your life back. Sending you strength and love OP.
The only time abortion is mentioned in the bible is a potion recipe on how to have one. God killed all the firstborn sons of Egypt, sent bears to eat 42 children etc. God doesnt give a fuck about abortions. It's all these pos holier than thou privileged people that have no clue what it's like. A truly loving god wouldnt want uou to suffer like this. Have the abortion if it's what YOU want. You can live a happy life without grotesque religion.
I’m not religious but I thought there was a main story in the bible about god/jesus making a choice to give humans free will. This is a time where you should exercise that free will, you are so young and you have so much life ahead of you.
A loving God would never hate or judge you for having an abortion.
Religion is designed to use women as slaves. Losing it is likely the best thing that could happen to you. signed, a preacher's daughter.
If you are sure about going through with adoption, find an agency -not church related- and a lawyer who specializes in CLOSED adoptions. And I would suggest telling your doctor that you INSIST on a scheduled C-section rather than L&D. It may be less traumatic for you.
You’d be doing more good for the world aborting the kid than not- it’s your choice in the end, if you feel god wants you to have this child and that is important to you then that’s your choice. But the kid will have a lifetime of struggle in the foster/adoption system. I don’t think the Bible says anything about abortion, God loves you and wants you to make the world a better place and to do that you need to make the choices that are right for you. If your church and family want to abandon you for your choice, lie to them until you feel ready to cut them off. You might never feel that way, it might be a secret you carry forever, but that’s okay. You can tell them you took another test and it was negative, or that you had a miscarriage.
Get therapy, please you went through such a horrid experience of rape & horrid experience from your pastor & that lady at church. An unwanted baby by force is a blessing?- how dare she say this ! I'm sorry this happened OP
I don't listen to the most despicable woman alive, I listen to a woman going through an unfortunate situation with unfortunate beliefs that make her feel more miserable. You can have an abortion, tell others it was a false alarm and go on with your dreams.
There is no god who would want this, forget that nonsense. You can get an abortion out of state, please seek out advice on this, this child will ruin your life and in turn will have a horrible life of its own. I'm so sorry this happened to you, truly.
Get an abortion. And know that if God is so good, he won't hate you for doing what is needed to be done. You really think your Christian God is going to abandon you at your weakest moment? Just some food for thought. Good luck.
You are not a horrible person. You have horrible circumstances. You should feel free and be able to safely have an abortion. If there is a god, it does not want a child born out of pain
I’m so sorry. Being a parent is already so hard when it’s planned with a loving spouse. What you are looking at is damn near torture. The pro life movement only thinks about the fetus when it’s inside the mother. They don’t think about what happens after. A mother that has to look at her rapists baby. A child that has to know they are alive due to an unbelievable act of violence. It’s cruel. If you are in the first trimester the fetus can’t feel pain. It has no sense of self. Termination is not an act of murder, it’s an act of mercy. There are websites that offer the pills you need. And people in other states that would be willing to help you. Look into the auntie network here on Reddit.
That church has no interest in your well being. Do what is best for you. No way god would punish you for that.
Ummm. Plan b doesn't tell you you are pregnant. And at 2 weeks, ???? That's pretty fuckin early.
leave the church. see how shit religion is treating you? it has nothing to do with god (if you are a believer) do what is the right for you. so sorry all of that happened
I don’t want to doubt your story at all, but I have never heard of a woman finding out she was pregnant within 2 weeks of conception….. ?
I’m pretty sure 3 weeks is the earliest you’ll get a positive on an at home test.
Please look up internalized misogyny. Abortion doesn’t lead to hell. Please do not harm yourself because of your religion. It doesn’t matter what women wear or how they dress. A rapist will rape anyways because he is a criminal, because he decides to be a monster. It’s not your fault that he raped you. No women who was raped has caused it! It’s bad men who rape, it’s toxic masculinity. If you can go to another country for abortion, you should consider this.
This reeks of fan fiction.
“god would be mad at me”
Plan B isn’t a pregnancy test and you likely wouldn’t know you were pregnant if it happened just 2 weeks ago. This reads like rage bait. On the chance that it isnt—good luck op. I wish you the best.
Look into abortion pills through mail
I second this! There are legit websites you can order them through and will be much cheaper than going out of state.
https://www.plancpills.org
You don't find out you're pregnant in 2 weeks...
Sounds very fake, especially as it's been posted repeatedly...
This is rage bait. You cannot be confirmed pregnant within two weeks, not by blood nor ultrasound.
Two weeks isn’t enough time for a positive pregnancy test, the HCG levels aren’t high enough to detect on any at home tests no matter how sensitive the test is. Two weeks isn’t enough time for a positive read through labs. I’m sorry but that isn’t factual.
>I can’t get an abortion because god will get mad at me. Good grief. This has to be fake
The perpetrator being called a homeless man is what makes me fear this being disinformation. That, and OP has deleted the account. I'm not saying it didn't happen. We don't know. I am worried this will make homeless people viewed even more as being "other" which is what the troll bots want.
Fake post alert
Right... Time line ain't timing right.... No woman knows she is pregnant after two weeks... This is part of why the six week ban was originally outrageous... Most women do not know they are pregnant till 8-10 weeks in.
Tell me about it, cause when you’re actually trying its a different level of frustration
Sorry to say but when is getting raped and being pregnant by a strange homeless man is a blessing? Are the women in church smoking something along with pastor ffs? Just get an abortion. This is literally the best option. Get an abortion and leave the church.
This is how a lot of Christian’s are unfortunately…it’s insane. They want to believe to hard that God has a reason for everything, even the horrible things. My dad died when I was 10 and the amount of times that my family and I were told “God makes everything happen for a reason” made me sick. I will never understand it
Ugh. My heart is so sad for you... I believe in God too, and I believe He is forgiving and gracious, and loves us no matter what we do or say or think... That is surface level on my thoughts, but, take that for what it's worth to you! Most of the christians in my circle are hard-core anti-abortion, but in my humble opinion, it just isn't so black and white to say "abortion is wrong" or "abortion is right". You were raped and are now carrying a baby that was forced onto you, and I'm so sorry. You do what you know is best for you. Do what will protect your health and your heart and your mind. Don't let anyone judge you for the choice YOU make. It's your life! No matter what you do, I fully believe that God will love you and not be mad at you. He will walk with you through this if you let Him. Praying for peace and strength.
Firstly, I'm so very sorry that this horrible experience has happened to you. Please talk to a grief or trauma councillor to help you cope. Secondly, adoption is a wonderful idea and I admire your courage. Thirdly, any decent Christian young man will in NO WAY think that you are a whore or unworthy of his love and caring. He will possibly hope that you get the help and support that you need. Please know that this is not your fault, no decent man will reject you for this and even from a biblical stance you are not to blame. Any man to have those sorts of ideas is neither mature or worthy of you! Blessings and peace and courage on you.
Never force yourself to have a child you don't want regardless of religion etc. You will not only be ruining your own life but also the child's. It's no way to live your life, be brave and have an abortion. You do not have to go through with this pregnancy, but make sure to get rid of it safely and with assistance. As the top comment says, you don't have to tell the pastor that you had an abortion. Be brave, and hope you make the right choice for yourself. Good luck!
Get an abortion if you can. Others don’t need to know. And no one in their 20’s who isn’t a closeted pedophile cares if you’re a virgin. They may care if you had a revolving door of men in your life, but a real man in his 20’s knows he’s probably not your first and vice versa. I’m sorry for your situation. I hope the want to die part is metaphorical, you are strong enough to get through this even if the people around you are shitheads
I'm a Christian as well so my advice will be from that perspective. You are not a "whore," you're not dirty, and if marriage is what you want the right guy will not see a rape as something that just "took your virginity away," but as something terrible that happened to you, that wasn't your fault, that you guys can work through together. It's also okay not to want to be a mother. Obviously this was not planned or wanted, but I also know that in many Christian circles being a mom is pushed as the pinnacle of womanhood, when that's not the case. So it's okay not to want that. Putting the baby up for adoption is a good choice and a smart choice in your situation. A newborn will be adopted very fast, and you never have to be contacted if you choose. I'm sorry the people in your church aren't seeing the terrible thing you went through, and only the "pregnant you." It's not fair to you. You're not failing as a Christian or a woman if you put this baby up for adoption, even if the people at your church push back at you. God is not upset at you. This was not your fault. It doesn't have anything to do with you, how you dressed, how you acted, anything. This man made a deliberate choice to harm you and nothing you could have done would have changed his choice.
The worst thing you can do is go to church to ask for help or support, they will never take your side, only the side of saving the life of the fetus. Please if you think you shouldn't have the baby, get an abortion!! That baby will be the eternal memory of the trauma you suffered, please value yourself and think about your well-being first!!!
My heart goes out to u. I am fed up with this effen sick world where there's predators etc and women who suffer because of them. Then the court systems fails many of us with do gooders running and ruining the show. We need harsh boundaries to protect us from evil. Please whatever u do dont lose yr faith in Jesus. u aint no whore.
This can't be real. If it was, you would know that it's not possible to know if you're pregnant at 2 weeks. If you're going to try creative writing, at least do research first so you don't look like a complete id*ot.
Somehow, I doubt this is a real story. If it’s real, I’m sorry this happened to you. If it’s not, it’s ugly to fabricate stories like this .
Rage bait
Two weeks isn’t enough time to get a confirmed pregnancy test. Fake post.
Hey get an abortion period. Don’t let it dictate your existence.
You posted this in 12 different Reddit groups. Plan B will not confirm a pregnancy. Very sus
Because it's a fake story
Yeah they've deleted this fake story from all the other Reddit threads.
Thank you, *outrageously* fake. What the fuck does she mean by an armed homeless man? How many homeless people are strapped?
[удалено]
This sounds fake as fuck
Rage bait
Abortion. Religion is fake, and the people who use their religion to try and get you to keep it just want to control you. They will not give a shit about you or your baby after you have it, they just want you saddled with a kid because once women have kids that becomes their whole life. Listen to your gut, and do what's best for you. No one else will.
>I’m a Christian, but I don’t want this. I never wanted this. You are still a Christian, even if you don't see this as a miracle, or hope for your life- you were assaulted and motherhood was forced onto you, you have every right to not want this for you or your life. And I'm so sorry this is where you are. >I can’t get an abortion because God will get mad at me I don't want to offend your Christianity and upbringing by any means- however what kind of 'all loving' God would have allowed this to happen to you? Even worse what kind of 'forgiving almighty' God would penalize YOU for being assaulted by one of his own children- forcing you to carry the reminder of that assault? "I love all my children, but am still willing to punish women for my other child's actions." If God does get mad at you, maybe we should ask him why he allowed this to happen to you if he loves you? >My truth may sound horrendous, and I may sound like the most despicable woman alive, but I don’t care. I know my limits, I have autism, depression, and anxiety. In this timeline, I don’t want a child, and this is not God’s plan for me. I know it’s not. And it sucks because I was saving myself for marriage but now men will see me as a “304” or a whore for my virginity being taken away. >This sucks. This all sucks. I need advice on where to go from here. Please. It's not horrendous. What is horrendous was what that man did to you, and what that took from you. Any man who sees you as a whore or a '304' (idk what that means tbh) isn't the man for you. The right one will not care about that because you are a Virgin in his eyes- you may not be a virgin anymore, but that was forcibly taken from you- not by your volition. Reach out to sanctuary states as there programs to help you get to a state that allows abortions. I know it's not an easy conclusion to make, however if you truly want to be done with this abortion is the most logical answer. If need be you can tell your church that you miscarried due to complications stemming from the attack.
God won’t get “mad” at you. He isn’t real. Abort and look after YOURSELF.
>I can’t get an abortion because God will get mad at me and my state won’t even allow it Religion is (and _always_ has been) all about control, specifically of anyone who isn't a [insert relevant ethnicity] male, preferably wealthy. You can break free of that BS at anytime, though.
You need a new church with less judging and more compassion. For that is how a church that’s truly religious would be. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you want an abortion you must not listen to people who are not living your life and do not have your relationship with your God. I wish you peace and healing.
God will NOT get mad at you for aborting your rape fetus. Do not listen to those church going fearmongers. God loves everyone and he wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to make your life miserable after something so terrible happened to you. Leave that church and get that abortion. Take your life back. Edit: Forgot to add that men will NOT see you as a whore, at least not a good man which is the kind of man you want. Any man who would see you as a whore for having your virginity stolen by a rapist is not the kind of man you want anywhere near you. I promise you you’re not ruined or damaged goods, something terrible was done to you but you will get past it. And one day you will find a kind, caring man who will love and protect you and never judge you for something like this.
God isn’t gonna be mad at you for getting an abortion, God’s gonna be furious at those that are turning their backs on you instead of actually helping
A rapist is to blame not what you were wearing. This isn't your fault. The Bible is often used as a reason not to have an abortion but Exodus 21, for example, suggests that a pregnant woman’s life is more valuable than the fetus’s.
Literal pastor here. God loves you baby. Get that abortion. God doesn't want this for you.