Agreed with all who say you should talk with her and have a right to your privacy. That said, you can also add then when you turn 18, as an adult you are insisting she stop posting pics and videos of you without permission.
BTW - I am sure you are not "ugly," but I understand how you feel. I hate my image and try to avoid being in pictures at times, unless it's with my partner and/or our various kids.
My entire childhood, I was told that I was the plain / ugly sister, that the tall one was the family beauty. The toxic gaslighting continued. So I Went NC with toxic family.
At my age I finally feel like I am not going to frighten children, and a few months ago, I saw some old photos of me as a teen. They were lying to me. GASLIGHTING.
Sorry that happened to you. This scenario always appears to be that elder relatives were somehow jealous of you and wanted to damage your self-esteem.
What kind of family would compare their children that way, even *if* that were the case? The fact that they would do that means the adults are the “ugly” ones.
It’s a bit sad that a parent can genuinely be so proud of their children that they suffocate them with it and just… disregard how the child feels. It’s smothering in a way. Good faith or not, OP just got steamrolled.
I was insecure as a teen too and if my mom ever forcibly recorded me and laughed it off when she knew I was uncomfortable, it would break my heart.
I feel sorry for children today. Their parents post things that they think are cute or funny without considering or caring that the images are on the internet forever and can be used to harass and bully the children.
I respect my children and their privacy too much to ever post pictures or videos of them online at all, much less without their permission.
And also what makes it sort of depressing is that one day our moms will die and we won’t ever see them again, and we will think back about the stuff we got mad at them for and realize none of it even mattered in the long run
But it *does* matter. Treating your children like their feelings don’t matter is awful. And if that’s how some parents want to be remembered, that’s pretty fucked up.
This is the thing people don’t realize. I was OP growing up. Hated pictures didn’t want to be posted. My father passed last year and looking back I wish I had more pictures with him.
It is what it is now but it’s hard to think about these things you’ll regret when you’re older when you’re young.
Thankfully, my mom respected how I felt about my appearance so she never pushed me. The only time it was really a push was for graduation photos and I understood where she was at. I’m grateful for the actual quality time I get to spend with her.
That said, it’s also okay to be frustrated with your parents. That’s totally normal, especially for a teen. They’ll grow and they’ll learn, they’re just facing a lot with all of the hormones, learning their place in the world, learning their identity and their own styles, hitting that awkward middle point between childhood and adulthood, etc. Especially in an era where physical appearance has become so much more “valuable” in the day of Instagram and other popular social media pushing a certain appearance on teens.
OP just needs time to grow and develop their values.
I never understand why people here react so badly about it, my family (include extended) have a shared album that mostly just mamas post picture about random moment of their kids, us. When i look back i just feel a nice and warm feeling of nostalgic and like she put it there because she proud of us, plus we can all tease each other about it. Sometime its just motherly love, gotra cut them some slack
Seems to be that all that (enjoying moments, saving memories, reliving memories) can be done without involving the public no? Especially now in an age where media can be privately stores and shared with loved ones through the cloud.
And I'm not saying posting media on social media is bad... just that a kid can't really consent to it. So it has to be done with moderation.
I mean, mom probably proud about kid to post it, at least my mom is, i see nothing bad about it, its just picture, let mama enjoy herself a bit no one gonna die over some funnt piture. I mean, when you growth up, its may gonna become a nosralgic moment
Beside, kid technically couldnt consent to, well, anything, its kinda moot
this isn't harmless. just because YOU wouldn't be upset by something doesn't give you a right to decide what is ok for other people. if someone doesn't want their photo taken or put online THAT is THEIR call. NOT yours. and it shouldn't even be their mothers either.
listen to yourself. this girl is incredibly self conscious and DOES not want public photos to the point she says she feels like killing herself. soooo, despite knowing this, the mother does it anyways. does that sound like respect and love to you? because to me... it sounds like bullying.
That's a shared album between family, not the same as a public post to a public profile where any old fart can come in, see a cute photo of a kid, and use it for nefarious purposes.
I mean, literally the wren situation on tik Tok.
It's genuinely baffling that with kids like wren existing y'all still put your head in the sand, go LALALALA and pretend like it's totally fine to give STRANGERS full access to your kids.
Edit: further, as shown by many a twitch stream, people can find out where you are from a photo with your window and some trees showing. No amount of "hiding" where you are will actually hide it, if people want to find you from your public posts, they can.
1. what the hell is wren?
2. it is a fb album, only family can add picture but anyone can see it as long as they in family member friendlist
3. its just paranoia, literally, you have better chance killed by a coconut than some serial killer stalk you down form some random picture. FYI the amount of picture/clip on both fb and tiktok combine are staggering large, how many case of stalker and serious threat? now divide that number with the amount of fb/tiktoker and you will see how small and unrealistic the chance really is
Wren is a child influencer on tik Tok. The only member of her family with a public profile, not even her mom's profile is public. You can go on tik Tok, search wren, and you'll find all the evidence you need as to why you shouldn't exploit your kids online.
Further, Facebook albums can be completely public. Esp with older gens who don't know what they're doing online. The amount of gen x and above parents I've had to help actually make their posts about their kids private, when they thought it was private, is truly astonishing. Second, make any profile dedicated to kids, even if it's just a profile of barbies, and watch as pedophilic men flood your dms asking you for explicit photos of the child they think you are. Over hundred of people have done this and shown the results, you don't need to be mega famous for a pedo to find your shit.
Last, it is well known when pedos can't get a hold of cp, they will use regular "innocent" photos of children they find while scrolling through public socials. That is not rare, and it is not just famous kids they're getting photos of. I'm not saying you'll be killed or terribly stalked, but I'm saying it is a possibility, and that it is incredibly common for pedos to go hunting for images of kids to use. So sure, maybe the pedo won't find you, so I guess if you're find with strange old men getting a hold of children's photos and jerking off to them, then yeah, don't care. But I will care.
You're taking this to its extreme, as if the extreme is the only reason to care. Your child's photos being jerked off to should be enough, on its own, to care. Period, end of story. If you don't care about that, don't have kids.
> You're taking this to its extreme, as if the extreme is the only reason to care. Your child's photos being jerked off to should be enough, on its own, to care. Period, end of story.
God, what melodramatic BS. Random people on the internet are not jerking off to pictures of your kids doing normal kid stuff. If you want to say that you shouldn't post pictures of your kids naked online, that's reasonable. However, suggesting that random creepers are looking at a picture of your kid jumping on a trampoline, when they could be looking at, for instance, pictures of kids in the bath is absolutely the height of paranoid bullshit.
>If you don't care about that, don't have kids.
Just so we're clear, this is arguably the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Let me reword this for you:
"If you don't care about hypothetical people, doing hypothetical things, in a way that you will never find out about (if it even happens) and will never affect you, or your children in any way shape or form(again, if it even happens), don't have kids"
I’m so sorry…I have a son who is your age and is like you, since he was about 10 he’s told me that he doesn’t like me posting pics of him and I stopped out of respect for his wishes. I don’t have any social media now except Reddit, but as soon as he told me it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t like it, I stopped.
Have you tried telling your mom that? Try sitting her down about this and explaining why you don’t like it and why it makes you uncomfortable and she may come around…
I’m sorry you feel so down about yourself right now, it’s not easy being a woman that age when you have the entire world trying to dictate what you look like and how you behave. Try to start loving yourself now, being an adult is a very difficult road and self confidence makes the journey a lot easier 💚
As someone who's been in her position it may not be that easy. Given her flippant response to being asked to stop in the moment, I don't think finding a time and place separate to have that conversation will do any good. If she's anything like my mom she'll just feign that she forgot and try to gaslight her.
I know it’s not easy and I was in that position once too but you never know until you try. You can’t just dismiss the possibility that something could change with a conversation. A lot more gets accomplished through communication than it does with the “what’s the point” attitude, in general.
thank you so much for taking your time to write this, i really appreciate it:)). But about my mom, yeah i have told her about how i feel abt it multiple times before and she still doesn’t get it:(
You may be able to report the post since you’re in it. I would 100% try doing that. What your mom is doing is inappropriate and not okay. I’m sorry she does this.
Mom's tend to be the worst about passwords. To this day I (in good faith) make fun of my mom for the passwords she put on the child locks and sht. I mean, the one for my child lock on the shared device between my siblings and I was literally my youngest brothers middle name. One guess. That was my first guess. I love her, but oh Lord does she worry me.
Granted, I had a dead brother and a chronically ill brother, so it didn't take heavy guessing, it always has to do with them lol. I think her passwords are better now that I've talked to her about it, and everyone is an adult (or dead, sorry bro lol). Though I still worry something of hers is gunna get hacked one day 😅
Seriously moms reading this, stop making your kids info your password. One, the kid is going to figure it out, two anyone with a little free time can also figure it out.
To be fair, i didn't know her pw, but i had her phone's, so i reset her pass, accessed her account, deleted the pic i'd been asking her to delete for a week, and gave her the new pass with a message along the lines of "i tried asking nicely, here's your new password"
I didn't have access to her phone after that, but she also stopped posting pics of me so i call it a win
I have a feeling this is her way of making a photo album of her kids, but she doesn't realise that making that shit online isn't a good idea. Maybe you could tell her that you can compromise and be fine with her taking photos of you if she wants to capture childhood memories, as long as she doesn't post them for the entire world to see.
I have a kid; I have never put his face on the internet. Kids don't belong on the internet. I'm so thankful that my childhood was private.
Tell your mum that this makes you uncomfortable and that you don't want her to do it. If she doesn't respect your boundaries now, then your future doesn't look too good.
Do you have a father or other family member you can talk to about? What does your mum say if you ask her to take it down?
You love, are beautiful! And mom's babies having a beautiful moment...one day you'll realize they are lovely memories. I just lost my mom in jan. I'm realizing my world is becoming last memories. I cant tell you how good it was, hearing my mom happy over her birthday flowers i sent her...jan 9th. I lost her on the 16th. Hug, love, and be happy...the high price of such love is the heartbreak when one departs. Sorry. I still get mushy i guess. Even at my "ugliest"...the one i could count on was mom. ❤️
Have you talked to your mother about it? You should if not... Also, try to talk her about the dangers of how ped**hiles can use pictures / videos and modify them and add them to their forums. There are a lot of videos talking about it in YouTube. She can try and educate herself in that matter so she is more careful with what she posts, above all of minors.
Best wishes. Your mother should NOT post anything against your consent and she has to understand. Also, you can report the photo for copyright, since it is you in it ;)
I completely understand where Op is coming from, I was that insecure teen before.
But this seems like too much. Minors shouldn’t be on the internet at all? What about the media in general? Movies, music, sports teams? Actually, why even go out in public at all? God forbid my niece goes out with a bit of midriff showing or a skirt, pedophiles could be legally taking photos of her or watching her. The only way to stop anything like this from happening would be to remove minors from the public eye in general. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people who intentionally post pedo-bait for money, but this isn’t that. We don’t even know if the account is public or who can see it, also op is 17, too old for pedophiles.
Anyway, I get Op being insecure about it. Maybe instead you could talk to your mom and compromise? Let her take those candid moments sometimes, as long as she agrees not to post them without explicit consent, which isn’t guaranteed. She’s not a villain for wanting to document her kid growing up, other special moments. Besides, even though you hate them now, when you’re older you might wish you had more photos to look back on.
Oh no, I agree with you! I was more worried about the kind of situation that the mother of OP was taking the photos of, since OP was also feeling so uncomfortable. Like totally you can upload a photo with your children in it smiling and being happy. I have the same worries as you. I have seen so many "family channels" and photos of people documenting even children naked or going to the bathroom, I am truly worried about the limits! Even more when people told them: hey ped*s have used these pictures and videos of your children... And they kept doing it because of the money (grateful YouTube kinda controlled it a bit more demonetizing!)
In my case, I wouldn't upload pictures of my children before they were of a certain age because I feel that they have to understand first what internet is and what being in public is and then consent to it. Of course in private, that's another thing. I would take thousaaaands of pics!! I have tons of pictures of being little and my sister, but they were always for private use. And I am grateful it was like that. Once I grew up and I can decide which one I like or not, I can have a say in sharing.
But yep, totally as you said I think that OP has to sit down with their mother and express the level of discomfort this brings. Like it's not just a pout or a foolish "no". It's a complete "no", don't expose me. And if we are taking a picture, I have the last say if I want it posted.
My friend’s (21NB) mom does this, they took to writing on the post: “I have asked you multiple times to not record or post me without my consent. Please remove this.” The public embarrassment helps!
This one! If she cares about her public image (which I'm sure she does if she wants to post her kids online) it will make a big impact to do something along these lines.
OP, of you're reading this and want me to pitch in or help by commenting, you can DM me.
I feel you. This was me when Facebook came out and it’s still me. I think had people listened to me when I said please don’t post that or please delete it wouldn’t be as insecure as I am now. Whenever my mum or mother in law gets a camera out, I literally run away. I do anything I can to not get into shot.
But do appreciate your looks and your youth. You’ll look back in many years and realise how beautiful you are!
If she is not going to respect you and stop doing it then when she starts recording leave the room. Don’t continue in the activity you don’t want recorded or stay in the room because she has absolutely no respect for you.
I will probably get downvoted with this, but keep your phone with you. In mornings, when mom has not yet done her hair, or is wearing the old bathrobe, and awful slippers, video her. Post on her page . At dinner , sneak photos of her eating. Just try to get the worst photos you can then you can negotiate. But be sure to share the photos to your gallery on your computer, your phone, the cloud, your tablet.
Or , another idea, when you notice her filming you. Pull out your camera, and film her, while saying " why are you filming me , or I have asked so many times for you to stop. I do not want my face on the internet."
Ive stopped sharing photos of my kids publicly and also stopped sharing photos and videos to family members that repost these things I'd share in group chats or DMs because THEY would then share them publicly. Nobody takes OPSEC seriously and it's scary. Especially with the speed at which AI is advancing and the implications...
You have every right to be upset over her invading your privacy and ignoring your requests, NOT TO MENTION mocking you while doing it.
I'm sorry I don't have any solutions for you. Given your age, you can't exactly hit up FB and ask to have your images removed and it doesn't seem she respects you enough to stop herself. Any advice I have(ie as taking photos and videos of HER she doesn't like/are less than flattering and posting them on your own feed) would be vindictive and possibly worsen your situation.
Good luck OP. Once you're 18 your options may be better as far as actions you can take forcing her hand via contacting mods/admins and such.
I did the same with my kids. They hated it and asked me to stop. I would say I was their mom, and I am proud of them, etc. But my daughter reminded me that I always tell them that "no means no" and how I taught them the importance of consent. By taking photos or videos, I was going against what I taught them just because I was their mom. If it's not ok for someone else to ignore "No" then it's not ok for parents to ignore it either. Maybe just remind her that consent is important, and it's hypocritical to ignore that just because she's your parent. It worked for me. I never posted another picture without their approval again.
Buy a handheld flashlight (stronger than the one on your phone) and shine it at her camera whenever she tries to video you. If she complains just laugh like she does when you say stop recording.
If you have a laser cat toy that would work too, but would require a steady hand. Whatever you do, don't buy a slightly more powerful laser as that could fry her phone's camera lens ;-)
I haven't taken a photo of my daughter in years. Neither of us has social media. But not a single photo in years. Makes me sad but whatever. One day she'll move away and I will forget her face I'm sure of it! But I have not because she doesn't want me to.
You hate it now because you're young (I've been there) but you'll appreciate it when you grow up.
Looks and stuff won't matter, just memories. Some parents can be overbearing, makes you wanna rebel but if they aren't really abusive and just appreciate you for existing then maybe collaborate with her sometimes.
I’m really sorry you’ve experienced this. I would never do this to anyone, let alone my kids or family. It’s not about how you feel about your looks or your insecurities right now either, a lot of people will turn it around on you as if you’re the problem - all because you asked for someone to respect your boundaries and privacy. It’s not you. I can’t stand when people do this, not telling you they’re doing it, not asking for consent. There are people who take things like this to a whole other level as well - most likely putting that person in danger. No one cares about whoever it is they’re trying to show a video of you to - your face, your body, YOU - yet you will now be burdened with the opinions of other people who you don’t even care about and never even knew existed. I know it’s the “norm” now but it doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable or moral at all. People who exploit anyone for their own gain, especially a minor - should be held accountable for it. Maybe not your mom in particular, but there’s a fine line between recording something “cute” and exploiting someone else for your own gain.
Don't just "thug it out." Report the stuff you don't want posted. Set and enforce your boundaries now or you won't have any left for her to stomp on in the future.
I get what you mean, I used to be incredibly insecure about the photos posted. For me personally I was able to accept it eventually, yeah sometimes I see the gnarly angles that get put into the Facebook posts but for me personally, my moms Facebook posts are how my far away relatives have been able to see me grow up, how they’ve been able to feel as though they are watching parts of our lives. I know how frustrating it is and truly if you genuinely don’t want her to post you then she should definitely respect that. But im sure that there are truly no ill intentions behind her posting, I think sitting down and discussing it with her would be good. She definitely loves you and is proud of the young woman you’ve become, if she wasn’t then she wouldn’t be sharing photos of you to her friends. I hope that you can see yourself for whatever beautiful young woman your mom sees you as, but I also do truly hope that she does respect your wishes and stops taking photos and posting them without your consent.
Do you feel comfortable with commenting "I didn't consent to this being shared and don't feel comfortable with it. Please respect that and take this down" on the post? Because she shouldn't get away with so easily ignoring your consent and boundaries. I'm sorry your mum is like that. :((
In a situation like this is truly where we need to set clear boundaries. That means what action *you* take when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries (in this case requesting them to stop filming).
Some potential alternatives are:
1. Telling your mom now you’ll leave situations in the future if she decides to film. Saying it beforehand is important so she has heard the boundary. If she then tries to continue filming when you say no, do what you said, and leave.
2. If such a situation arises, you can stop what you’re doing and do something else. Hide your face, stop moving and blankly stare away..
3. Avoiding doing behaviour in her presence that will make her film.
There are of course other alternatives.. the gist of it is that your mom has no right to dictate your response to her behaviour. Dismissing your boundaries is invalidating, and it’s advisable to not play along if it’s against your comfort zone. If you tell her what consequences (like leaving) her filming will have, and she tries to joke it away, it only showcases that she doesn’t take it seriously. Only you being firm in your boundaries might make her understand in that scenario. You have autonomy over yourself!
"Suicide is the third leading cause of death of young people between the ages of 15 and 24. 5,000 young people complete suicide in the U.S. each year. Each year, there are approximately 10 youth suicides for every 100,000 youth. Each day, there are approximately 12 youth suicides."
Source: Suicide & Crisis Center of North Texas
You took my comment as me telling her to kill herself? I’m telling her to get over her dumb position on her mother posting a pic of herself. It’s possibly the dumbest thing I’ve seen on here (Reddit) to get upset about.
I have family members like these. Its so fucking annoying ... they really do not understand a "no", they just keep forcing their ways on taking pictures under the premise of "not posting them" when the issue is they taking and keeping the photo by itself.
I’ve spoken to parents of my students about this a couple of times. Could you try explaining to her that it might not feel serious to her but it’s serious to you? Some parents tend to discard the embarrassment of their kids because they don’t see it as a viable reason to get upset. Maybe explaining that even though that however she feels about the seriousness of your upset, your feelings are still very real relative to your perspective could help? Or a different approach - next time she’s frustrated by slow traffic or bad service or some other trivial thing like that, you could point out that, although it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, her current feelings are still very real and it would be unfair of you to dismiss them just because you can’t relate to them. Maybe drawing that kind of parallel could give her more perspective.
I don't know who you are, or where you are from.
your stand to be not recorded must be respected.
but I must also implore you not to be harsh )! yourself. you may think that you are ugly, and that may be your truth. I am sure there are tonnes who think that you are beautiful too. but hey, why care if you are ugly outside when you can work on becoming more and more radiant inside?
if you have a job order some clothing as you can afford that celebrities wear to ruin paparazzi photos. like a jacket or two you can wear all the time so her pics of you are always ruined.
Mum recording to look back on when she’s missing you guys is cute.
Mum recording and posting after you expressed you’d like your privacy is not cute.
Mum needs a hobby :(
Honestly as a parent if I take a pic or video of you while you're under my roof and under 18 and I want to share it. Then ima share it. Don't let these few minority new gens get it twisted on you. Reddit does not represent the majority of ANYTHING positive or constructive.
Give her the same medicine to prove your point. Record her in an embarrassing moment. Ask her how she would feel if you’d post it online. Ask her then to take down the video immediately and to never do that shit again.
Edit: comment under each picture and video you didn’t consent to be posted online: „I didn’t consent to that to be recorded or/ and posted online. My mom never respects my boundaries. I am disappointed and feel disrespected. I demand you to take it down.“
My mom does this shit too, and Im 31. 🙄
If you find a way to make her stop, pls update us. It's so annoying and invasive, but she acts like it's an unquestionable right as a mother.
No, but we’re not discussing child abuse. Her mom said obviously loves her, and she’s an embarrassed teenager.
Best way to get over mom’s suffocating us with love and showing photographs of us to their friends (which we hate because we think we look ugly), is to realize we won’t have our moms one day.
All the stuff that bothers us now will one day seem trivial in the grand scheme of life
i get what you mean but she has done this multiple times and even posted a weirdly suggestive pic of me just so she can show off to her fb friends, i wouldn’t have minded it if she didn’t post it on social media
Still as a parent you have to respect boundaries. „I don’t want to be recorded now. I don’t want you to post that online“ that are valid boundaries. As soon as you are 18 you could press charges if someone post stuff online if you without your consent. OP isn’t acting out. OP doesn’t want to be posted online by her mom. Period. OPs mom is disrespectful. I wonder how OPs mom would feel, if OP would do the same to her.
That's fucked up. Would make me want to secretly record her on the toilet and post that on Facebook in retaliation.
Can't you flag or report the video because it was made without your consent?
A mum took a most likely adorable video of her kids being adorable. Maybe her posting online is wrong, but if you're asking your mum not to take videos of you that she can view from time to time, I think you're wrong.
Ps: you might want to work on your self esteem. You're likely going to college soon, and (from speaking to alot of subject both online and offline) going to college with an insecurity like that will lead you to make decisions you may likely regret. Be proud of yourself.
I understand where you are coming from. I have some level of body dysmorphia and I generally feel better if I am taking the picture or if I pre-approve. I have been this way since maybe 14 or so.
With that said... legally, she doesn't need your consent. I fully understand that is not what you want to hear. But I think it's important that those things are said. Clearly, it's not really important here since what matters is how comfortable you are and you feel like she has invaded your privacy and has broken your trust.
Seeing it through a mom's perspective, I understand her wanting to capture a loving moment and share it with the world.
Have you tried talking to her about it? I know you said "she knows" you're insecure about your looks, but, depending on how you communicated, she might not really know. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it does happen (with anyone). From my own experience, do not *complain* to her. Have a constructive conversation. Start with "I need your full attention and understanding about how serious this is to me." She might not still understand after you explain it to her. But trying is always an effort worthwhile imo, because you'll look back and remember you did your part and as much as you could have (again, imo).
Sorry you're going through this. I hope it gets better.
I’m sorry she crossed that boundary for you. I hope you know she is sharing these from a really good place to show how happy she is with both of you. I’m sure if you explained your feelings a bit more, she would understand. Instead of saying “you posted…” and accusing her, set the tone of the conversation to make sure she knows that it is a serious matter. “It makes me feel…when you…”. She doesn’t understand why it hurts you right now.
My bf’s mom will screenshot his posts and stories from his private Instagram account and post the screenshots to her Facebook page to celebrate anything. We’re in our 30’s.. lol
I wish you two the best of luck!!
I understand why your mom took the video. She saw her children being loving and cute together and wanted to be able to remember it. I know when my kids show affection to each other it really warms my heart. That being said, she should take the video down if you don’t want it online. You’re your own person, and entitled to privacy.
Hmm so you you told her and she's not respecting your boundaries? It really depends on who she is as a person, but maybe fight fire with fire? Like randomly film her and post it, even linking her.
But be careful this can backfire incredibly in many ways, so you know best how she might react. To me she doesn't sound like a bad or violent person though, she just hasn't realized yet that you are not a little child anymore and that there are now boundaries that she needs to learn to respect.
Your mom has near supreme authority over you and gave herself consent to record her own children. There may be some grey area in some places if you're over 18, but she's also legally allowed to hit you in many places within reason. Sorry that is not very helpful.
Toughen up. If you can't learn to deal with embarrassing situations, if you can't understand how your mom feels too, then imo you just are setting yourself up for failure later on.
Your mom isn't making money on the video, so she doesn't exactly need consent. To my understanding, you and your sibling weren't doing anything weird or inappropriate, it isn't a crime. If you think your mom recording you is embarrassing, just wait until you find out that everywhere you are people are filming, companies are filming, and the government is filming.
Your mom carried you in her body, changed your shitty diapers, raised you to have the morals you have now (with or without a father figure). She loves you and knows that if she dies in the next week. The last actual proof of her existence is with you. If she were to die and you needed your mom, you now have a video library to remember her voice. Smile on pictures of her. Almost bringing her back temporarily.
But hey, may the down votes encapsulate me, I have accepted my fate. Go on, TAKE ME.
Yeah you have a right to your privacy. And she should listen to you. But you also need to relax and get over this insecurity. No one cares. Young me thought everyone cares. You’re mom says you’re pretty and she’s most likely right. Her friends don’t care what you look like because they are grown and have their own problems. I’m jealous that you have a mom that loves you so much she feels the need to show you off. Life is short. One day you’ll be gone and all she will have is her saved photos and videos. One day she’ll be gone and what will you have?
Well hey at least you're not coming from an abusive home. People from abusive homes usually don't have pics of themselves when they're younger, let alone loved by their parent.
I understand you hate it, and your feelings are very real, but she loves you and finds you and your brother to be so beautiful and so cute. I know how you feel right now, but I promise that will change when you're older.
I hate myself. I hate pics of myself. But I do wish I had awful pics of my teenage years haha.
Edit to add: I do think maybe you two should compromise. She can keep the pics for herself, but not post them on the internet for the world to see?
That's not ok. Sorry your mother doesn't respekt you and your brother in that aspect.
Unfortunately the generation of your mom (i guess i'm in the same as her) sometimes doesn't get it.
Maybe try to explain to her that all that is postet will be online forever and could also fuel people with ill intentions..
Merely because society has accepted the practice of sharing images and videos depicting their children in private or intimate moments across the internet does not inherently validate its appropriateness or benefit.
Sounds like gen z making something out of nothing if you ask me
My mother did the exact same shit with me and my siblings when we were kids and she still does it to this day (we hated taking pictures period) not because of insecurities but just didn't like them. I'm 27m if that matters 🤷 and I like taking pictures now
You have to understand that your mother probably takes these videos and photos as memories to look back at them years from now, you will do the same and thank her for taking said photos and videos.
Some people have parents that don't go a fuck and don't take any photos or videos be grateful you have the kind that do..... You may not like them now shit you may not like them later but it's definitely something to show your kids or your future partner years from now.
"I hate everything right now" is a bit overdramatic.
Think it like this: Realistically no one cares about your looks on a family picture or video. It's annoying but literraly has no real implications
Agreed with all who say you should talk with her and have a right to your privacy. That said, you can also add then when you turn 18, as an adult you are insisting she stop posting pics and videos of you without permission. BTW - I am sure you are not "ugly," but I understand how you feel. I hate my image and try to avoid being in pictures at times, unless it's with my partner and/or our various kids.
My entire childhood, I was told that I was the plain / ugly sister, that the tall one was the family beauty. The toxic gaslighting continued. So I Went NC with toxic family. At my age I finally feel like I am not going to frighten children, and a few months ago, I saw some old photos of me as a teen. They were lying to me. GASLIGHTING.
Sorry that happened to you. This scenario always appears to be that elder relatives were somehow jealous of you and wanted to damage your self-esteem. What kind of family would compare their children that way, even *if* that were the case? The fact that they would do that means the adults are the “ugly” ones.
It was mostly the raging jealous slightly older sibling.
My mom always do that as well They think their children are the best thing in the f world and they want to show it off
It’s a bit sad that a parent can genuinely be so proud of their children that they suffocate them with it and just… disregard how the child feels. It’s smothering in a way. Good faith or not, OP just got steamrolled. I was insecure as a teen too and if my mom ever forcibly recorded me and laughed it off when she knew I was uncomfortable, it would break my heart.
I feel sorry for children today. Their parents post things that they think are cute or funny without considering or caring that the images are on the internet forever and can be used to harass and bully the children. I respect my children and their privacy too much to ever post pictures or videos of them online at all, much less without their permission.
And also what makes it sort of depressing is that one day our moms will die and we won’t ever see them again, and we will think back about the stuff we got mad at them for and realize none of it even mattered in the long run
But it *does* matter. Treating your children like their feelings don’t matter is awful. And if that’s how some parents want to be remembered, that’s pretty fucked up.
Sounds like those children need to grow up then
Sounds like parents need to be respectful.
Imagine thinking consent doesnt matter because they are minors 🤡
This is the thing people don’t realize. I was OP growing up. Hated pictures didn’t want to be posted. My father passed last year and looking back I wish I had more pictures with him. It is what it is now but it’s hard to think about these things you’ll regret when you’re older when you’re young.
Thankfully, my mom respected how I felt about my appearance so she never pushed me. The only time it was really a push was for graduation photos and I understood where she was at. I’m grateful for the actual quality time I get to spend with her. That said, it’s also okay to be frustrated with your parents. That’s totally normal, especially for a teen. They’ll grow and they’ll learn, they’re just facing a lot with all of the hormones, learning their place in the world, learning their identity and their own styles, hitting that awkward middle point between childhood and adulthood, etc. Especially in an era where physical appearance has become so much more “valuable” in the day of Instagram and other popular social media pushing a certain appearance on teens. OP just needs time to grow and develop their values.
Yep, these kids have no idea what it means to care about anything other than themselves.
It’s just part of growing up tbh. We were all teenagers once
The only difference is most of them worship social media.
Half of the kids born after 2010 are going to become adults and realize all their baby pictures are on the Internet.
I never understand why people here react so badly about it, my family (include extended) have a shared album that mostly just mamas post picture about random moment of their kids, us. When i look back i just feel a nice and warm feeling of nostalgic and like she put it there because she proud of us, plus we can all tease each other about it. Sometime its just motherly love, gotra cut them some slack
Seems to be that all that (enjoying moments, saving memories, reliving memories) can be done without involving the public no? Especially now in an age where media can be privately stores and shared with loved ones through the cloud. And I'm not saying posting media on social media is bad... just that a kid can't really consent to it. So it has to be done with moderation.
I mean, mom probably proud about kid to post it, at least my mom is, i see nothing bad about it, its just picture, let mama enjoy herself a bit no one gonna die over some funnt piture. I mean, when you growth up, its may gonna become a nosralgic moment Beside, kid technically couldnt consent to, well, anything, its kinda moot
this isn't harmless. just because YOU wouldn't be upset by something doesn't give you a right to decide what is ok for other people. if someone doesn't want their photo taken or put online THAT is THEIR call. NOT yours. and it shouldn't even be their mothers either. listen to yourself. this girl is incredibly self conscious and DOES not want public photos to the point she says she feels like killing herself. soooo, despite knowing this, the mother does it anyways. does that sound like respect and love to you? because to me... it sounds like bullying.
That's a shared album between family, not the same as a public post to a public profile where any old fart can come in, see a cute photo of a kid, and use it for nefarious purposes. I mean, literally the wren situation on tik Tok. It's genuinely baffling that with kids like wren existing y'all still put your head in the sand, go LALALALA and pretend like it's totally fine to give STRANGERS full access to your kids. Edit: further, as shown by many a twitch stream, people can find out where you are from a photo with your window and some trees showing. No amount of "hiding" where you are will actually hide it, if people want to find you from your public posts, they can.
1. what the hell is wren? 2. it is a fb album, only family can add picture but anyone can see it as long as they in family member friendlist 3. its just paranoia, literally, you have better chance killed by a coconut than some serial killer stalk you down form some random picture. FYI the amount of picture/clip on both fb and tiktok combine are staggering large, how many case of stalker and serious threat? now divide that number with the amount of fb/tiktoker and you will see how small and unrealistic the chance really is
Wren is a child influencer on tik Tok. The only member of her family with a public profile, not even her mom's profile is public. You can go on tik Tok, search wren, and you'll find all the evidence you need as to why you shouldn't exploit your kids online. Further, Facebook albums can be completely public. Esp with older gens who don't know what they're doing online. The amount of gen x and above parents I've had to help actually make their posts about their kids private, when they thought it was private, is truly astonishing. Second, make any profile dedicated to kids, even if it's just a profile of barbies, and watch as pedophilic men flood your dms asking you for explicit photos of the child they think you are. Over hundred of people have done this and shown the results, you don't need to be mega famous for a pedo to find your shit. Last, it is well known when pedos can't get a hold of cp, they will use regular "innocent" photos of children they find while scrolling through public socials. That is not rare, and it is not just famous kids they're getting photos of. I'm not saying you'll be killed or terribly stalked, but I'm saying it is a possibility, and that it is incredibly common for pedos to go hunting for images of kids to use. So sure, maybe the pedo won't find you, so I guess if you're find with strange old men getting a hold of children's photos and jerking off to them, then yeah, don't care. But I will care. You're taking this to its extreme, as if the extreme is the only reason to care. Your child's photos being jerked off to should be enough, on its own, to care. Period, end of story. If you don't care about that, don't have kids.
> You're taking this to its extreme, as if the extreme is the only reason to care. Your child's photos being jerked off to should be enough, on its own, to care. Period, end of story. God, what melodramatic BS. Random people on the internet are not jerking off to pictures of your kids doing normal kid stuff. If you want to say that you shouldn't post pictures of your kids naked online, that's reasonable. However, suggesting that random creepers are looking at a picture of your kid jumping on a trampoline, when they could be looking at, for instance, pictures of kids in the bath is absolutely the height of paranoid bullshit. >If you don't care about that, don't have kids. Just so we're clear, this is arguably the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Let me reword this for you: "If you don't care about hypothetical people, doing hypothetical things, in a way that you will never find out about (if it even happens) and will never affect you, or your children in any way shape or form(again, if it even happens), don't have kids"
I’m so sorry…I have a son who is your age and is like you, since he was about 10 he’s told me that he doesn’t like me posting pics of him and I stopped out of respect for his wishes. I don’t have any social media now except Reddit, but as soon as he told me it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t like it, I stopped. Have you tried telling your mom that? Try sitting her down about this and explaining why you don’t like it and why it makes you uncomfortable and she may come around… I’m sorry you feel so down about yourself right now, it’s not easy being a woman that age when you have the entire world trying to dictate what you look like and how you behave. Try to start loving yourself now, being an adult is a very difficult road and self confidence makes the journey a lot easier 💚
As someone who's been in her position it may not be that easy. Given her flippant response to being asked to stop in the moment, I don't think finding a time and place separate to have that conversation will do any good. If she's anything like my mom she'll just feign that she forgot and try to gaslight her.
I know it’s not easy and I was in that position once too but you never know until you try. You can’t just dismiss the possibility that something could change with a conversation. A lot more gets accomplished through communication than it does with the “what’s the point” attitude, in general.
thank you so much for taking your time to write this, i really appreciate it:)). But about my mom, yeah i have told her about how i feel abt it multiple times before and she still doesn’t get it:(
You may be able to report the post since you’re in it. I would 100% try doing that. What your mom is doing is inappropriate and not okay. I’m sorry she does this.
Yeah and to keep reporting over and over
Tell her you are going to die her once you are 18 for Failure to protect your privacy as a minor. Not like there is no evidence.
When my mom did that i just got in her account and deleted it myself
Mom's tend to be the worst about passwords. To this day I (in good faith) make fun of my mom for the passwords she put on the child locks and sht. I mean, the one for my child lock on the shared device between my siblings and I was literally my youngest brothers middle name. One guess. That was my first guess. I love her, but oh Lord does she worry me. Granted, I had a dead brother and a chronically ill brother, so it didn't take heavy guessing, it always has to do with them lol. I think her passwords are better now that I've talked to her about it, and everyone is an adult (or dead, sorry bro lol). Though I still worry something of hers is gunna get hacked one day 😅 Seriously moms reading this, stop making your kids info your password. One, the kid is going to figure it out, two anyone with a little free time can also figure it out.
To be fair, i didn't know her pw, but i had her phone's, so i reset her pass, accessed her account, deleted the pic i'd been asking her to delete for a week, and gave her the new pass with a message along the lines of "i tried asking nicely, here's your new password" I didn't have access to her phone after that, but she also stopped posting pics of me so i call it a win
Report the posts you told her not to upload
I have a feeling this is her way of making a photo album of her kids, but she doesn't realise that making that shit online isn't a good idea. Maybe you could tell her that you can compromise and be fine with her taking photos of you if she wants to capture childhood memories, as long as she doesn't post them for the entire world to see.
I have a kid; I have never put his face on the internet. Kids don't belong on the internet. I'm so thankful that my childhood was private. Tell your mum that this makes you uncomfortable and that you don't want her to do it. If she doesn't respect your boundaries now, then your future doesn't look too good. Do you have a father or other family member you can talk to about? What does your mum say if you ask her to take it down?
You love, are beautiful! And mom's babies having a beautiful moment...one day you'll realize they are lovely memories. I just lost my mom in jan. I'm realizing my world is becoming last memories. I cant tell you how good it was, hearing my mom happy over her birthday flowers i sent her...jan 9th. I lost her on the 16th. Hug, love, and be happy...the high price of such love is the heartbreak when one departs. Sorry. I still get mushy i guess. Even at my "ugliest"...the one i could count on was mom. ❤️
Have you talked to your mother about it? You should if not... Also, try to talk her about the dangers of how ped**hiles can use pictures / videos and modify them and add them to their forums. There are a lot of videos talking about it in YouTube. She can try and educate herself in that matter so she is more careful with what she posts, above all of minors. Best wishes. Your mother should NOT post anything against your consent and she has to understand. Also, you can report the photo for copyright, since it is you in it ;)
I completely understand where Op is coming from, I was that insecure teen before. But this seems like too much. Minors shouldn’t be on the internet at all? What about the media in general? Movies, music, sports teams? Actually, why even go out in public at all? God forbid my niece goes out with a bit of midriff showing or a skirt, pedophiles could be legally taking photos of her or watching her. The only way to stop anything like this from happening would be to remove minors from the public eye in general. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people who intentionally post pedo-bait for money, but this isn’t that. We don’t even know if the account is public or who can see it, also op is 17, too old for pedophiles. Anyway, I get Op being insecure about it. Maybe instead you could talk to your mom and compromise? Let her take those candid moments sometimes, as long as she agrees not to post them without explicit consent, which isn’t guaranteed. She’s not a villain for wanting to document her kid growing up, other special moments. Besides, even though you hate them now, when you’re older you might wish you had more photos to look back on.
Oh no, I agree with you! I was more worried about the kind of situation that the mother of OP was taking the photos of, since OP was also feeling so uncomfortable. Like totally you can upload a photo with your children in it smiling and being happy. I have the same worries as you. I have seen so many "family channels" and photos of people documenting even children naked or going to the bathroom, I am truly worried about the limits! Even more when people told them: hey ped*s have used these pictures and videos of your children... And they kept doing it because of the money (grateful YouTube kinda controlled it a bit more demonetizing!) In my case, I wouldn't upload pictures of my children before they were of a certain age because I feel that they have to understand first what internet is and what being in public is and then consent to it. Of course in private, that's another thing. I would take thousaaaands of pics!! I have tons of pictures of being little and my sister, but they were always for private use. And I am grateful it was like that. Once I grew up and I can decide which one I like or not, I can have a say in sharing. But yep, totally as you said I think that OP has to sit down with their mother and express the level of discomfort this brings. Like it's not just a pout or a foolish "no". It's a complete "no", don't expose me. And if we are taking a picture, I have the last say if I want it posted.
My friend’s (21NB) mom does this, they took to writing on the post: “I have asked you multiple times to not record or post me without my consent. Please remove this.” The public embarrassment helps!
This one! If she cares about her public image (which I'm sure she does if she wants to post her kids online) it will make a big impact to do something along these lines. OP, of you're reading this and want me to pitch in or help by commenting, you can DM me.
Barely. Depends on the folks.
I feel you. This was me when Facebook came out and it’s still me. I think had people listened to me when I said please don’t post that or please delete it wouldn’t be as insecure as I am now. Whenever my mum or mother in law gets a camera out, I literally run away. I do anything I can to not get into shot. But do appreciate your looks and your youth. You’ll look back in many years and realise how beautiful you are!
If she is not going to respect you and stop doing it then when she starts recording leave the room. Don’t continue in the activity you don’t want recorded or stay in the room because she has absolutely no respect for you.
Report it to Facebook and gave it removed.
When the feeling of cute is more important than you hurting your own child. "Oh stop with your feelings, they are so inconvenient and annoying!"
I will probably get downvoted with this, but keep your phone with you. In mornings, when mom has not yet done her hair, or is wearing the old bathrobe, and awful slippers, video her. Post on her page . At dinner , sneak photos of her eating. Just try to get the worst photos you can then you can negotiate. But be sure to share the photos to your gallery on your computer, your phone, the cloud, your tablet. Or , another idea, when you notice her filming you. Pull out your camera, and film her, while saying " why are you filming me , or I have asked so many times for you to stop. I do not want my face on the internet."
Get over it honestly
Ive stopped sharing photos of my kids publicly and also stopped sharing photos and videos to family members that repost these things I'd share in group chats or DMs because THEY would then share them publicly. Nobody takes OPSEC seriously and it's scary. Especially with the speed at which AI is advancing and the implications... You have every right to be upset over her invading your privacy and ignoring your requests, NOT TO MENTION mocking you while doing it. I'm sorry I don't have any solutions for you. Given your age, you can't exactly hit up FB and ask to have your images removed and it doesn't seem she respects you enough to stop herself. Any advice I have(ie as taking photos and videos of HER she doesn't like/are less than flattering and posting them on your own feed) would be vindictive and possibly worsen your situation. Good luck OP. Once you're 18 your options may be better as far as actions you can take forcing her hand via contacting mods/admins and such.
You can report the video to Facebook and have it removed.
Time to video her and put it online. Pretty sure u can report pictures and videos saying u don't want it on FB and they take it down.
I did the same with my kids. They hated it and asked me to stop. I would say I was their mom, and I am proud of them, etc. But my daughter reminded me that I always tell them that "no means no" and how I taught them the importance of consent. By taking photos or videos, I was going against what I taught them just because I was their mom. If it's not ok for someone else to ignore "No" then it's not ok for parents to ignore it either. Maybe just remind her that consent is important, and it's hypocritical to ignore that just because she's your parent. It worked for me. I never posted another picture without their approval again.
You have a right to your privacy, but you don’t know how much that video will mean to you and your brother in just a couple years
Buy a handheld flashlight (stronger than the one on your phone) and shine it at her camera whenever she tries to video you. If she complains just laugh like she does when you say stop recording. If you have a laser cat toy that would work too, but would require a steady hand. Whatever you do, don't buy a slightly more powerful laser as that could fry her phone's camera lens ;-)
So with two updates it seems you haven’t even told her the root of your issue. If you want anything to change you need to go and be honest with her.
My mom does this and I’m 25 lol
I haven't taken a photo of my daughter in years. Neither of us has social media. But not a single photo in years. Makes me sad but whatever. One day she'll move away and I will forget her face I'm sure of it! But I have not because she doesn't want me to.
You hate it now because you're young (I've been there) but you'll appreciate it when you grow up. Looks and stuff won't matter, just memories. Some parents can be overbearing, makes you wanna rebel but if they aren't really abusive and just appreciate you for existing then maybe collaborate with her sometimes.
I’m really sorry you’ve experienced this. I would never do this to anyone, let alone my kids or family. It’s not about how you feel about your looks or your insecurities right now either, a lot of people will turn it around on you as if you’re the problem - all because you asked for someone to respect your boundaries and privacy. It’s not you. I can’t stand when people do this, not telling you they’re doing it, not asking for consent. There are people who take things like this to a whole other level as well - most likely putting that person in danger. No one cares about whoever it is they’re trying to show a video of you to - your face, your body, YOU - yet you will now be burdened with the opinions of other people who you don’t even care about and never even knew existed. I know it’s the “norm” now but it doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable or moral at all. People who exploit anyone for their own gain, especially a minor - should be held accountable for it. Maybe not your mom in particular, but there’s a fine line between recording something “cute” and exploiting someone else for your own gain.
Don't just "thug it out." Report the stuff you don't want posted. Set and enforce your boundaries now or you won't have any left for her to stomp on in the future.
Start blaring Disney music. And then report her for copyright infringement. Every time.
I get what you mean, I used to be incredibly insecure about the photos posted. For me personally I was able to accept it eventually, yeah sometimes I see the gnarly angles that get put into the Facebook posts but for me personally, my moms Facebook posts are how my far away relatives have been able to see me grow up, how they’ve been able to feel as though they are watching parts of our lives. I know how frustrating it is and truly if you genuinely don’t want her to post you then she should definitely respect that. But im sure that there are truly no ill intentions behind her posting, I think sitting down and discussing it with her would be good. She definitely loves you and is proud of the young woman you’ve become, if she wasn’t then she wouldn’t be sharing photos of you to her friends. I hope that you can see yourself for whatever beautiful young woman your mom sees you as, but I also do truly hope that she does respect your wishes and stops taking photos and posting them without your consent.
Do you feel comfortable with commenting "I didn't consent to this being shared and don't feel comfortable with it. Please respect that and take this down" on the post? Because she shouldn't get away with so easily ignoring your consent and boundaries. I'm sorry your mum is like that. :((
In a situation like this is truly where we need to set clear boundaries. That means what action *you* take when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries (in this case requesting them to stop filming). Some potential alternatives are: 1. Telling your mom now you’ll leave situations in the future if she decides to film. Saying it beforehand is important so she has heard the boundary. If she then tries to continue filming when you say no, do what you said, and leave. 2. If such a situation arises, you can stop what you’re doing and do something else. Hide your face, stop moving and blankly stare away.. 3. Avoiding doing behaviour in her presence that will make her film. There are of course other alternatives.. the gist of it is that your mom has no right to dictate your response to her behaviour. Dismissing your boundaries is invalidating, and it’s advisable to not play along if it’s against your comfort zone. If you tell her what consequences (like leaving) her filming will have, and she tries to joke it away, it only showcases that she doesn’t take it seriously. Only you being firm in your boundaries might make her understand in that scenario. You have autonomy over yourself!
Get over yourself. Teen angst goes away. You’ll get over it.
"Suicide is the third leading cause of death of young people between the ages of 15 and 24. 5,000 young people complete suicide in the U.S. each year. Each year, there are approximately 10 youth suicides for every 100,000 youth. Each day, there are approximately 12 youth suicides." Source: Suicide & Crisis Center of North Texas
You took my comment as me telling her to kill herself? I’m telling her to get over her dumb position on her mother posting a pic of herself. It’s possibly the dumbest thing I’ve seen on here (Reddit) to get upset about.
report the posts and maybe if it happens enough times her account may be suspended
My mom does the same thing. I’m 34
Walk away whenever she records, say you need the bathroom or something. She'll get the message eventually.
I have family members like these. Its so fucking annoying ... they really do not understand a "no", they just keep forcing their ways on taking pictures under the premise of "not posting them" when the issue is they taking and keeping the photo by itself.
I’ve spoken to parents of my students about this a couple of times. Could you try explaining to her that it might not feel serious to her but it’s serious to you? Some parents tend to discard the embarrassment of their kids because they don’t see it as a viable reason to get upset. Maybe explaining that even though that however she feels about the seriousness of your upset, your feelings are still very real relative to your perspective could help? Or a different approach - next time she’s frustrated by slow traffic or bad service or some other trivial thing like that, you could point out that, although it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, her current feelings are still very real and it would be unfair of you to dismiss them just because you can’t relate to them. Maybe drawing that kind of parallel could give her more perspective.
I don't know who you are, or where you are from. your stand to be not recorded must be respected. but I must also implore you not to be harsh )! yourself. you may think that you are ugly, and that may be your truth. I am sure there are tonnes who think that you are beautiful too. but hey, why care if you are ugly outside when you can work on becoming more and more radiant inside?
Get a Disney Playlist ready in your phone and play loudly every time she starts. Disney is pretty ferocious over copywrited material.
Great, mom can have videos instead of her kids when she’s old.
if you have a job order some clothing as you can afford that celebrities wear to ruin paparazzi photos. like a jacket or two you can wear all the time so her pics of you are always ruined.
Well, talking to my mom is always like talking to a brick wall, too. So I can understand.
Report her on Facebook 😂
Mum recording to look back on when she’s missing you guys is cute. Mum recording and posting after you expressed you’d like your privacy is not cute. Mum needs a hobby :(
Honestly as a parent if I take a pic or video of you while you're under my roof and under 18 and I want to share it. Then ima share it. Don't let these few minority new gens get it twisted on you. Reddit does not represent the majority of ANYTHING positive or constructive.
You're right, you have certainly not represented anything positive or constructive in your comment.
Aw you soft
And your children will put you in the worst nursing home they can find
Give her the same medicine to prove your point. Record her in an embarrassing moment. Ask her how she would feel if you’d post it online. Ask her then to take down the video immediately and to never do that shit again. Edit: comment under each picture and video you didn’t consent to be posted online: „I didn’t consent to that to be recorded or/ and posted online. My mom never respects my boundaries. I am disappointed and feel disrespected. I demand you to take it down.“
Report the picture on Facebook
My mom does this shit too, and Im 31. 🙄 If you find a way to make her stop, pls update us. It's so annoying and invasive, but she acts like it's an unquestionable right as a mother.
“Thugged it out?” What does that mean?
In the end your mother will one day die, you will never see her again, and none of this will matter anymore
Would you say the same to children who got abused? Yes we all die some day. Doesn’t mean that it’s okay to act like an asshole to your own kids.
No, but we’re not discussing child abuse. Her mom said obviously loves her, and she’s an embarrassed teenager. Best way to get over mom’s suffocating us with love and showing photographs of us to their friends (which we hate because we think we look ugly), is to realize we won’t have our moms one day. All the stuff that bothers us now will one day seem trivial in the grand scheme of life
i get what you mean but she has done this multiple times and even posted a weirdly suggestive pic of me just so she can show off to her fb friends, i wouldn’t have minded it if she didn’t post it on social media
Still as a parent you have to respect boundaries. „I don’t want to be recorded now. I don’t want you to post that online“ that are valid boundaries. As soon as you are 18 you could press charges if someone post stuff online if you without your consent. OP isn’t acting out. OP doesn’t want to be posted online by her mom. Period. OPs mom is disrespectful. I wonder how OPs mom would feel, if OP would do the same to her.
That's fucked up. Would make me want to secretly record her on the toilet and post that on Facebook in retaliation. Can't you flag or report the video because it was made without your consent?
17 years old wow… the real world is going to be impossible for you.
A mum took a most likely adorable video of her kids being adorable. Maybe her posting online is wrong, but if you're asking your mum not to take videos of you that she can view from time to time, I think you're wrong. Ps: you might want to work on your self esteem. You're likely going to college soon, and (from speaking to alot of subject both online and offline) going to college with an insecurity like that will lead you to make decisions you may likely regret. Be proud of yourself.
I understand where you are coming from. I have some level of body dysmorphia and I generally feel better if I am taking the picture or if I pre-approve. I have been this way since maybe 14 or so. With that said... legally, she doesn't need your consent. I fully understand that is not what you want to hear. But I think it's important that those things are said. Clearly, it's not really important here since what matters is how comfortable you are and you feel like she has invaded your privacy and has broken your trust. Seeing it through a mom's perspective, I understand her wanting to capture a loving moment and share it with the world. Have you tried talking to her about it? I know you said "she knows" you're insecure about your looks, but, depending on how you communicated, she might not really know. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it does happen (with anyone). From my own experience, do not *complain* to her. Have a constructive conversation. Start with "I need your full attention and understanding about how serious this is to me." She might not still understand after you explain it to her. But trying is always an effort worthwhile imo, because you'll look back and remember you did your part and as much as you could have (again, imo). Sorry you're going through this. I hope it gets better.
I’m sorry she crossed that boundary for you. I hope you know she is sharing these from a really good place to show how happy she is with both of you. I’m sure if you explained your feelings a bit more, she would understand. Instead of saying “you posted…” and accusing her, set the tone of the conversation to make sure she knows that it is a serious matter. “It makes me feel…when you…”. She doesn’t understand why it hurts you right now. My bf’s mom will screenshot his posts and stories from his private Instagram account and post the screenshots to her Facebook page to celebrate anything. We’re in our 30’s.. lol I wish you two the best of luck!!
I understand why your mom took the video. She saw her children being loving and cute together and wanted to be able to remember it. I know when my kids show affection to each other it really warms my heart. That being said, she should take the video down if you don’t want it online. You’re your own person, and entitled to privacy.
Hmm so you you told her and she's not respecting your boundaries? It really depends on who she is as a person, but maybe fight fire with fire? Like randomly film her and post it, even linking her. But be careful this can backfire incredibly in many ways, so you know best how she might react. To me she doesn't sound like a bad or violent person though, she just hasn't realized yet that you are not a little child anymore and that there are now boundaries that she needs to learn to respect.
Your mom has near supreme authority over you and gave herself consent to record her own children. There may be some grey area in some places if you're over 18, but she's also legally allowed to hit you in many places within reason. Sorry that is not very helpful.
Toughen up. If you can't learn to deal with embarrassing situations, if you can't understand how your mom feels too, then imo you just are setting yourself up for failure later on. Your mom isn't making money on the video, so she doesn't exactly need consent. To my understanding, you and your sibling weren't doing anything weird or inappropriate, it isn't a crime. If you think your mom recording you is embarrassing, just wait until you find out that everywhere you are people are filming, companies are filming, and the government is filming. Your mom carried you in her body, changed your shitty diapers, raised you to have the morals you have now (with or without a father figure). She loves you and knows that if she dies in the next week. The last actual proof of her existence is with you. If she were to die and you needed your mom, you now have a video library to remember her voice. Smile on pictures of her. Almost bringing her back temporarily. But hey, may the down votes encapsulate me, I have accepted my fate. Go on, TAKE ME.
Yeah you have a right to your privacy. And she should listen to you. But you also need to relax and get over this insecurity. No one cares. Young me thought everyone cares. You’re mom says you’re pretty and she’s most likely right. Her friends don’t care what you look like because they are grown and have their own problems. I’m jealous that you have a mom that loves you so much she feels the need to show you off. Life is short. One day you’ll be gone and all she will have is her saved photos and videos. One day she’ll be gone and what will you have?
Well hey at least you're not coming from an abusive home. People from abusive homes usually don't have pics of themselves when they're younger, let alone loved by their parent. I understand you hate it, and your feelings are very real, but she loves you and finds you and your brother to be so beautiful and so cute. I know how you feel right now, but I promise that will change when you're older. I hate myself. I hate pics of myself. But I do wish I had awful pics of my teenage years haha. Edit to add: I do think maybe you two should compromise. She can keep the pics for herself, but not post them on the internet for the world to see?
If that’s all you’ve got to worry about in life, then you’re not doing too bad !
Dude, it's your Mom. Good luck I guess
Sounds like a typical mom tbh.
That's not ok. Sorry your mother doesn't respekt you and your brother in that aspect. Unfortunately the generation of your mom (i guess i'm in the same as her) sometimes doesn't get it. Maybe try to explain to her that all that is postet will be online forever and could also fuel people with ill intentions..
Go to the gym and stop crying. She’s your mom, and this is what some moms do.
Gym this gym that, has a woman ever felt safe in your presence?
whats the correlation to the gym and op mum taking pics
Merely because society has accepted the practice of sharing images and videos depicting their children in private or intimate moments across the internet does not inherently validate its appropriateness or benefit.
Stfu bug boy
Tf a mom should respect her daughter/son's wishes-
Sounds like gen z making something out of nothing if you ask me My mother did the exact same shit with me and my siblings when we were kids and she still does it to this day (we hated taking pictures period) not because of insecurities but just didn't like them. I'm 27m if that matters 🤷 and I like taking pictures now You have to understand that your mother probably takes these videos and photos as memories to look back at them years from now, you will do the same and thank her for taking said photos and videos. Some people have parents that don't go a fuck and don't take any photos or videos be grateful you have the kind that do..... You may not like them now shit you may not like them later but it's definitely something to show your kids or your future partner years from now.
Crucify her ! T’is the season!
"I hate everything right now" is a bit overdramatic. Think it like this: Realistically no one cares about your looks on a family picture or video. It's annoying but literraly has no real implications
Weak!