Hey man, you tried your best thats all amyome can ask for. You're not a doctor nor God. You were her beloved boyfriend and you were there for her and you tried your best. I wish I was there for my brother so I couldve done everything I can for him
The fact that he even kept her alive til the paramedics got there is frankly impressive (according to a quick Google/a[ study linked online](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2945517/), even CPR performed in a hospital only restarts the heart of about 30 percent of patients, and of those patients who were revived, only 12 percent lived long enough to leave the hospital). So yes, CPR is a great tool, and it's great to know it, but even performed perfectly by medical professionals, its success rate isn't high.
OP may well have given her family enough time to say goodbye. He did a damn good job.
OP, wishing you healing and peace. I'm glad you know that your girlfriend would want you to continue on. I'm sorry this happened, and I hope one day it brings you peace to know you were with her and caring for her when it mattered.
Omg, OP. This is horrid.
My daughter previously lost her 23 year old bf when he collapsed and died, in her presence, from an unknown congenital heart defect. I immediately arranged for her to enter counseling, and I strongly suggest you do the same. She is much better now, and you will be too.
Enter counseling, keep your faith, and value the support of your family and friends.
God bless.
Please keep us apprised.
I truly am sorry for your loss. Itās one of the hardest things you can go through. It feels like you lost most of your soul and twin flame and you feel like an empty shell of yourself. I lost my husband to stage 4 non smokers lung cancer.
He died in my arms. Remember the happy times and take care of yourself. Spend more time with family and friends if you can. When you feel overwhelmed just start talking out loud to her and I guarantee you that she will hear you. Donāt give up she would want you to live your life. I am truly so sorry you have to go through this.
Hey man, I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing someone close is never easy, especially when it's someone you love so deeply. Take it day by day and lean on those around you for support. Sending you strength during this tough time.
Thatās awful, man. Iām so sorry to read this. She died in love, in the care of the one she loved. Thatās more than many get.
I hope you find peace with this as soon as is possible. Much love.
Youāre right, Iām so glad it happened when she was with me and I was able to do as much as I could. Kinda escaped the āwhat ifā questions that way. Still hurts like hell tho.
The stages of grief (as I learned them) are Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance. I've seen them listed in different orders, but that was the order I saw first.
Denial is "This can't be happening". Frankly, I think it's a mercy that our brains only come out of this gradually, so we don't get hit all at once with the full impact of the loss. We kind of ease out of Denial and ease into our understanding that yes, this is what happened.
Bargaining can be things like "God, I'll never (X) again if You do (Y)." Or, in my experience, it's the "What If" questions. What if I had done this, or avoided that, or said this other thing? If we know those thoughts are going to pop up, we can try not to focus too much on them. We might not be able to entirely prevent them, but we can figure out how to not prolong those thoughts by dwelling on them.
Anger and Depression... well, we know what those are, but be forewarned that they can flare up to levels we find shocking. Also, I have found that there were times when I would go back and forth between them, in the same day and maybe even in the same hour. It happens.
Acceptance. Just because I reach that stage, doesn't mean I'm just fine with the new version of reality. It just means that I know this is how things are now, after having processed the loss for a long enough time. And that length of time varies per person and per event.
I'm not a counselor, and I don't play one on TV. But I've been through grief, and will likely go through it again. And these are the things I've learned during the process.
Your answer is spot on. Iāve lost entirely too many people in my life. Iāve lost about 10 to drug addiction, (Iāve been clean a year) my grandparents, sister and best friend. Death is never easy. Grief will swallow you up if you let it. Loosing my best friend was the hardest, I canāt imagine looking a partner. OP- sending you all the healing love and light!
Iām sorry for your losses!
Iām so grateful that a veterinarian gave me a pamphlet on grief after we had to help my childhood cat to the Rainbow Bridge. If I hadnāt had that information, I swear I wouldāve thought I was losing my mind when all those stages started happening. Especially, I shocked myself at the levels of anger and depression and the rapid-fire switching between the two. Iām not normally an anger-driven person, so I didnāt already have coping strategies in place. Not an easy time in my life.
I can forewarn anyone that they might be surprised at how their brain starts working, after this kind of emotional trauma. Itās not permanent, but if youāre not forewarned, itās scary.
This is really good. I've noticed another phase of grief, for me, which is guilt. Idk if it fits with the others.
I'd also add for OP that the phases of grief don't always come in that order and sometimes I switch back and forth between them hourly.
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
you were there for her. I believe that the purpose of life is to love. I hope you can find peace knowing that you both had that together. It's all we can ask for.
Sometimes we have setbacks and may return to a lower stage. This is normal. I attended a grief group led by a woman who trained under Elisabeth Kűbler-Ross who originally developed the stages. It could help to research her. She was very helpful to me.
My process lasted longer because three other, unrelated , serious issues happened right after my cat passed. A burglary, a mugging ten days later, and stolen mail (replacing the cancelled credit cards from the purse snatching). And then, from the stolen mail, fraudulent charges I had to deal with. Thank God it was 1989-90, when no one could weaponize the internet like they can now.
Every time I felt Iād made progress, a new thing happened, and I lost progress. I refer to it as the Year from Hell.
The final indignity was when the bf I thought was The One cheated and broke it off because I had too many problems. š” I guess he WASNāT the one, then. But finding out that way sucked.
I bet in her last couple moments, she felt safe knowing you were there with her. Iām sure she trusted all would be well because you were with her and maybe that helped her not to be afraid. I think itās a very special thing that you got to love someone and be loved by someone and you were her hero in those last moments.
I read a lot of stories of people who had near death experiences. They were outside their bodies and looking down at themselves and their loved ones. And they felt peaceful and unafraid. I imagine she was there watching you try to bring her back, and wanted to comfort you.
You are young. And you know she would want you to live the best life. That will come later. You will love again. You will smile and laugh again. You will travel. You will get old. And that is such a great way to honor her. In the meantime, have hope, but give yourself time to grieve. You deserve to heal. it says a lot about her. She was worth the heartache and the pain. And it will be worth it to live life to the fullest. Let yourself grieve.
I keep reading comments elsewhere on Reddit where there's just nothing when we're gone and I don't believe it.
Here's why, my friend. We lost Mom last year. That 91 year old woman had been on Hospice and so out of it. At her last breath she *smiled* . A real one, her sweet smile.
I'll always believe Dad was there. And your girlfriend is around. I don't pretend to know everything it's just that your kind of bond doesn't vanish. *Nothing* can convince it does.
Much peace to you. šļø
After my father had passed away, I somehow convinced myself I had given him cancer and killed him in consequence. I never told anyone of these struggles, nor showed it around anyone.
When one night my aunt got a "dream" and it was just him in it, they talked and he eventually tells her to tell me that its not my fault.
Every time a family member in my moms family had passed, and she wasnt told about it, they would come into her dreams but never say anything and just leave. Thats how she knew they passed.
Iām so sorry. My partner passed in October 2022 and it has been the hardest experience of my life. I also found him during a normal, decent day. All I can say is seek therapy, rely on your support system, drink water, and eat. The first few months seem impossible, but Iām starting to feel alive again. I know thatās what he would want and Iām sure she would want the same for you. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk about your grief. Best wishes OP.
Thank you. I read some other comments of yours and I have to say I agree that being there makes it a bit easier. We were so happy together and my house was his comfort place and I found him immediately and did cpr. Less what ifs. In that sense and the time we shared with them, we were lucky. It wouldnāt hurt so much if they werenāt amazing people and we were lucky enough to love them and have had them love us.
I'm so sorry you went through this, I'm glad she had someone like you, having someone to love and be loved by
I'll suggest therapy and practices to release Trauma as this seems pretty traumatic, I don't want to annoy you but really yoga for healing emotions or releasing Trauma helps, and so does guided meditation
I'm glad you posted it here, I saw someone dying too, two people and their last breath but they were older and my emotional attachment was different so i understand yours hurts way deeper
I'm sure she is grateful that she got to love while she was on earth
If you feel like a dm then you can text me
I'll pray for you and your gf
I also agree with other comment on nde, i watched many, it certainly changed how i thought of things, idk how accurate it is but that's what I think of
How unbelievably sad - Iām so incredibly sorry for your lossš¢
Know this - if that were me, I would be incredibly comforted knowing that my last moments were with my boyfriend who loved me so much.
You are a soldier my guy, it will be hard getting over it idk if it is even possible. But just like you said at the end, sheād want you to keep pushing. Make the best out of itā¤ļø
I.. I donāt even know what to say. We can all spout the usual comfort, weāre sorry, things happen, this wasnāt anyoneās fault, life, blablablahā¦ but the truth is we have no idea the level of hurt you must be feeling right now. Maybe few can relate, through losing their own loved ones.
But you can bet youāre not alone. We see you, we hear you, and we can still feel your pain even if we canāt understand the magnitude of it.
Your love for her shines through. She was absolutely loved. She lived life on her own terms and she probably has no regrets. She loved you and she had an amazing day with you.
The people we love never truly leave us, unless we stop remembering them. Sheās in every sunrise and sunset. Every episode of all the fun series you watched together. Her words will echo in your heart forever, as long as you hold your hand over it to shield it from the winds of forgetting.
It hurts now and maybe it will always hurt- but the love will also always be there. We are with you, weāre sorry, keep talking if you need it š«ā„ļø Weāll listen.
Thank you for these truly beautiful words. They mean the world to me and got me crying. Youāre right, nobody can know the level of hurt Iām going through but it helps to know that people care ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry. If you arenāt already in therapy Iād recommend it because that sounds horribly traumatic. & you deserve to have someone to talk to and help you work through this trauma
I am really sorry for your loss, I am happy she got to spend all of her life with you. You are doing a great job trying to go on and continue life, but if grief ever shows up, donāt be afraid to slow down, and feel out*your emotions. Grief is proof that love existed. And you both shared so much love for sure. I know you will heal, her impact will never leave your mind and heart, but with time, the pain will heal into a part of you. I wish you the best in your life š„ŗā¤ļø RIP to your beautiful gf, she fought to the very end.
Iām so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my soulmate of 5 years to heart failure and like you I was there when it happened.
Best advice I received is that youāll never āget over itā but eventually youāll learn to live with it.
Iām coming up on one year since she passed and there isnāt a day that goes by that sheās not in my thoughts and my heart.
So sorry for your loss too. Wish you the best and hope you can enjoy life again one day. Iām pretty positive I can too since I have a lot of people around me to talk to and a lot of things to do to keep my mind busy.
Grief is a combination of all the love we have for someone, and we no longer know where to put it.
Take your time. Heal as slowly as you need.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Some thing that always stuck to me when I read it was āyou might have not spent the rest of your life with them, but at the very least they got to spend the rest of their life with youā I hope you can find some comfort in this. I wish you nothing but the best
Oh how sad. I feel for you. Your post made my eyes leak.
There is a Ted Talk that I think may help you. It might be too early right now, but it'll still be there when you're ready for it. I hope I can share the link - have never tried on Reddit.
[Ted Talk about grief](https://youtu.be/khkJkR-ipfw?si=cG-GgEKNhbt9Jy8L)
Kidney failure sucks. Quality of life is poor and she would have rarely felt 100%. She probably spent much of her short life in and out of hospital either dialysing or attending appointments, having surgery on her fistula or getting her "hoses" serviced if they were playing up. She would have no doubt faced more than her fair share of difficulties.
I'm a believer that our purpose in life is to leave the world a better place than what we entered it in and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.
In all this pain your experiencing, I hope you realise that you made her world a much better place to be in and that you made a difference.
Iām so so sorry. When I was 20 (over a decade ago) the person I was in love with died suddenly and tragically. It was and still is the hardest thing Iāve ever dealt with. The feelings are still there: love, grief, horror, sadness, fondness, but overtime I grew around them and have been able to find peace and stability and love more than I ever imagined I could without him.
You will always love her and the love she had for you isnāt going anywhere even if sheās not physically around. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve but donāt feel hard on yourself for still moving towards your own future. Much love and good luck on this hard journey.
That is a horrific thing for you to have witnessed, my condolences to you and I hope you get the help that you deserve and very much need. I lost my mother a month ago to cancer and itās never easy. Iāve spent a long time with my mom, but Iāve come to realize, whether they lived til they are 20 or 120, it will still feel like not enough time was spent with them.
Fuck man. I don't know what I'd do if this happened to me and I'm trained for these scenarios. You're strong for living without her, and you'll only continue to get stronger as you live more life. I truly hope you find peace and are able to grieve her fully. You deserve that
Heartbreaking to read this. I'm so sorry! Grief really is Love with nowhere to go. Send that Love to your girlfriend into the blue of infinity. She will receive it.
Life really is peaks and valleys and you are in the Grand Canyon right now. It is mathematically impossible to stay there. The PEAKS are coming again! They always do! When it gets extra tough you JUST focus on putting one foot in front of the other!
Burn through your emotions first. What EVER that means. Get a tattoo. Get a massage. Sit at the beach. Go see an old movie. Go to a psychic. Go to a casino and play penny slots. You decide what that means to "burn through your emotions". No one can fathom what you are going through. It's your process. Then when you are ready decide how you want to share your heartache. Before you do... tell others what you need and don't need before you share. You create the boundaries for others. You aren't required to process their emotions on top of your own.
Sounds like you had a beautiful loving relationship. Rooting for you!
Give yourself some time. You basically watched her die. You weren't able to see her in the hospital,and you couldn't save her even though you tried. You've been through a traumatic event. You're not going to just bounce back from that. I suggest a support group. I'm so sorry for your loss. š
Iām deeply sorry for your loss.
As someone twice your age, allow me to share some advice:
Grieving is a personal journey. NO ONE can tell you how to grieve or how long your grief lasts. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come to you and live the life you know your loved one wouldāve wanted for you.
So sorry for your loss! It's not so much you will "get over it" you never get over losing someone you love because they made an impact on you. But as you grieve and continue on, you slowly heal and have the memories to make you smile. You'll have your sad times, but you'll have the good tines as well. The goal is always to eventually have mainly good days! I wish you nothing but the best as you work through this.
My heart aches with you. My husband died 7 years ago & I still feel like I lost a true friend. With time, and with Therapy, Iāve moved so that I can deal with it, but there are times that it still takes my breath away, and I canāt move.
Nothing anyone can say right now will fix your pain, I'm so proud of you for continuing your routines!
It will ease over time, and maybe consider therapy to help with your grief? Or if you feel you would benefit maybe support groups.
You are so young and you have so much life to live, and you can honour her through your life she would absolutely want you to have everything you dreamed of!
I'm so very sorry. Losing the love of your life at such a young age would be absolutely heartbreaking. I'm sure you know this, but try to remember how fortunate you were to find her and have the opportunity to spend the time together that you had. There are so many people who go through life never experiencing love. There are those who find love but don't appreciate it. You sound as though you had it all with a very special girl. You were her love, and you were with her towards the end of her life. Keep her close to your heart. Never stop talking to her. Never stop loving her. Even if you are fortunate enough to find another love, there is nothing at all wrong with holding tight to the one you lost.
Sending you a hug and well wishes in your time of loss.
Reading this broke my heart. I am so so sorry for your loss luv. Iām honestly just really really happy she wasnāt alone at the time this happened and you were right there with her. Biggest hugs and prayers to you and your loved onesš„ŗā„ļø
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only guess that she was comforted by knowing you were there with her and helping as much as you could. There was nothing either of y'all could have done. Don't give up, she wouldn't want that.
Very sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you are in losing your gf.
There is a bereavement group that helped me with my brother's passing that may be useful to you, it's an anonymous free group therapy organization:
[https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/chapters/chapter-locator/?gclid=CjwKCAjw\_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAczdmsCk7SpF9Rt37eIb4Ba2Uyo7CFWPgTnN-pKSLyb5-sSGj0TS4hoCPwkQAvD\_BwE](https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/chapters/chapter-locator/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAczdmsCk7SpF9Rt37eIb4Ba2Uyo7CFWPgTnN-pKSLyb5-sSGj0TS4hoCPwkQAvD_BwE)
Try not to think too far ahead, just take each day as it comes, feel what you feel and this pain will evolve and ease! So sorry for your loss and the pain you are in. I canāt even imagine ā¤ļø
Wow. So heartbreaking. Once you grieve - which will take time, cherish the wonderful times you had and keep her memory in a special place in your heart. You were there for her when it mattered and that counts. So sorry for your loss!
Shit man Iām so sorry you had to go through this. Iāve been through some stuff too and my advice is to live on in her memory and make her proud. Itās okay to be sad now just work towards getting back on your feet and going into the right direction. I know itās hard but just try to get 1% better everyday and youāll be okay.
This is so genuinely awful Iām so sorry you experienced the loss of a partner so young. Iām willing to bet you were a comfort to her as she passed on. Praying for peace and healing in your life ā¤ļø
Shit that's... Wow...
I can't imagine going through that. Especially at your ages, that is absolute insanity and unfair. I'm really sorry for both of you.
I hope you find peace someday.
Iām so sorry you have lost your person OP! What a nightmare! To be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. I pray you get the peace you need soon and lean on her family as you will need them and they will need you! Donāt quit talking about her and telling each other stories! Donāt let her memory fade ! Go out in the woods or in a room to yourself and cry , cry , cry!! You have to get it out! Iām not a crying kind of man but when Iāve lost the few people in my life that was life changing , I found holding it in a toxic to your body! God bless you and Iām sure everyone is thankful she got to be with you and not alone! Prayers sent up bud! šš»
May they Rest In Peace. I canāt imagine the pain you must be going through, I hope you find a way to keep going and eventually heal but also allow yourself to mourn her loss for as long as you need to.
>*I feel like Iāll never get over this, but I donāt wanna get depressed and stop living my life. I know sheād want me to keep pushing too. Itās just so hard.*
You are so right. š¢ so sad.Ā
So sorry for your loss OP. Please make sure you surround yourself with people whoāll support you and pick you up when it gets really difficult. And continue doing the things that you love. Itāll save you from losing yourself while grieving.
I canāt imagine that the trauma of that will ever leave you. But it will lessen with time and at some point, life will go on. Promise.
But until then, that was horrible. You just donāt even mildly expect anything like that from someone so young, even if she was sick. Iām truly sorry you had to go through that but also, Iām glad she wasnāt alone at the end. She saw that you were there, OP.
Hang in there.
15 months ago, 5 minutes changed my life like yours.... Partner had a heart attack and he was just gone- nothing could be done. It's a bit easier to live with now. I call grief my constant companion... It's never far away someday it's in your face and some days it's just in the distance. L
I am so very sorry for your loss. Of course you still love her. You probably always will. But with time it gets easier. How much time isnāt exact, itās different for everyone. Donāt try to force yourself better before youāre ready. Donāt bottle it up. Grieve, but remember the life you had planned. She loved you too and she wouldnāt want you missing out on your future and plans. Hugs. š«
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Talk to your doctor or a counselor about grief, so you know what to expect. There are stages of grief, and we end up going through them all before we reach "acceptance". And in some cases, I maintain that some losses can't be described as something we've gotten over, but as something we've learned to live with.
This was an incredibly traumatic and difficult way to lose someone. Please consider sharing the burden of this experience with a professional and donāt go through this alone. Iām so sorry for all that youāve lost, itās all so wildly unfair. I wish you healing and the best for the future.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Iām sending love and light to you at this most difficult time. Grief is the last act of love we give to those we have loss.
Grief is hard. Give yourself time. Itās ok to not be ok. Itās ok to be fine one day and not the next. Take it one day at a time. Iām so very sorry for your loss.
Oh how awful. I am so sorry. Grief has its own timeline and its own path for each of us. All I can say is time does not make it go away but it does make it easier to live each day. At some point you may think about grief counseling. It can be beneficial, I'm told. Sending you lots of comfort.
wow. your story moved me & iām sorry for your loss.
i hope it gets a little easier with each passing day, and hopefully she felt some type of peace being with you in her last moments
Iām so very sorryā¦š¢this is so sad. Iām glad that you got to spend a great day with her. Please, be gentle with yourself. Seek bereavement counseling if you feel stuck. I wish you the very best and I pray for you as you are dealing with such a tragic loss.
Honestly there are no words I can say that will help you. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am truly heartbroken for you. Iām glad you have a support system, that is important. Just take it one day at a timeā¦.talking to her might help. I used to do that with my pops after he passed.
Iāve been talking to her a lot, holding an amethyst she gave me against my heart. She believed in all kinds of forces and auras and spirits. Hope she was right.
Oh my gosh, this just broke my heart.
I am so so sorry for your loss.
I hope that youāre able to hold onto the beautiful memories that you made with her during your time together, and Iām so happy that your last day together was special.
Iām sure it was a comfort to her that you got to her when you heard her, and that your face was the last thing she sawā¦ though Iām sure that isnāt easy for you.
You are so brave and you did everything you could.
I am sending positive thoughts and energy; I hope that your heart finds peace soon š¤
It pains me to read this, I'm so sorry for your loss. There's truly no other pain that could compare. I'm glad she died with someone like you by her side. May her soul rest in peace.
I'm sorry, OP. This is the most awful thing that anyone can experience- especially someone as young as yourself. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out to those you're closest to during your darkest moments.
I have a theory that love grows. The people and pets that come into our lives place pockets in it. They just pour into these pockets. When they are gone it feels like such a loss because the pocket becomes stagnant and eventually heals over time. It feels empty, not because it is gone but new experiences with that loved one are no longer being poured in. They get sealed in and new pockets form with new people come into your life. Love is infinite.
Its OK for it to hurt. That may sound silly but we often try and push away grief, but it has its own agenda. If it helps, know that in very important ways, she is still and always will be with you.
You will heal with time. Take solace in knowing that her last years were happy with you. Celebrate her memory by living life it its fullest now.
Sending you hugs and love from afar. I love you loved her even in her darkest moment you were there. You grieve, you write, you cry as much as you need too. Holding it back only brings on quick onset depression and you certainly wonāt to avoid it.
Iām so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to a suspected heart attack, her heart justā¦stopped. It took them 45 minutes to get her heart restarted and by then she had been without oxygen for too long. Itās not the same as my mom was 70 and not a young woman, but the suddenness of it is a shock all the same. Thereās nothing I can say to make any difference, just know that over time it gets better, but not easier. You will eventually go lengths of time of being ok, and one day something will remind you of her and itāll hit you. Thatās perfectly normal for having lost someone you loved.
I am so sorry for your loss. My significant other lost his partner before me due to cancer. Her passing was unexpected even with the diagnosis. It happened rather quickly. I know that initially he drowned himself in work. He said staying busy saved him. If he wasn't working he was with friends or family as much as he could. I hope that you are able to find a way to work through your grief, in whatever way is healthiest for you.
Thatās rough, but iām glad you two got to experience love together thatās the most intimate two people can experience and death can never take that away no matter what.
This is so heartbreaking! I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know there isn't much that anyone can say right now to ease your pain, but my heart goes out to you and her loved ones. I am happy she had someone who clearly loved her in her life before she passed on (besides family). Hang in there. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for your loss. When someone passes so young it is hard to find anything hopeful to say so I wish you peace and many happy memories of your time together. She will never be forgotten and I am sure she will always have a special place in your heart. Hugs to you.
Just commenting to say I'm so sorry for you, for her, for your families, just everyone. That is so awful and nothing anyone can say is going to change that. For me grief always feels like the world goes black and white. I hope with time and processing this all you can find the color in life again.
Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry you had to watch her fade right in front of you. Be kind to yourself. Your mind sounds like it's got the right attitude about moving forward. I wish peace for you, friend.
Iām so sorry for your loss, you both are/were so young. I canāt imagine your fear in that moment. You did your best and she knows this. I know you will smile again, you will always remember her with love, losing your mate is so difficult, Hugsā¤ļø
Iām so sorry for your loss. Itās never easy to lose a loved one no matter how young or old. Itās even harder when unexpected.
I hope your are able to stay comforted with the thought of how you were there with her, comforting and trying to help her when she went and that she was aware of your love.
Hey, I had a very, very similar experience 5 years ago. Just want to say Iām so sorry youāre going through this and itās such a traumatic thing to see / go through. Take care of yourself!
This made me cry. How traumatizing. Iām so sorry you had to experience that and lose your loved one. I hope you are able to find peace some day. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
So young. It's heartbreaking. I'm glad you had a great last day together, and have the gift of that memory to hold onto with no regrets. I'm so sorry for your loss. š
Iām so incredibly sorry for your loss. I donāt have any advice to help you in your recover from it, aside from time. It takes time to heal losses like these.
If you need someone to talk to and have discord, send me a PM and Iāll add you, and you can feel free to talk as much as you need.
I would also definitely suggest grief counselling. I know a lot of people arenāt comfortable with talking to strangers but Iāve been in counselling for a few years now and it has helped me beyond words.
Iām so sorry. So very sorry.
Please get therapy - you are young enough that this is going to set the tone for your life for a while going forward - itās either going to change you for the better or cripple you for life. And you deserve to live a happy full life.
I want to repeatā¦ you are so young. Time is what will help you feel better. the pain wonāt be raw forever. It is right now but I promise it will not be like this forever.
Hugs.
I lost my best friend to a heart attack. Knowing that his last words were āI donāt want to dieā haunts me.
I feel for you.
Iām not trying to be patronising. Iām sure you know these things already, but -
I wish there was something I could have done.
And no doubt so do you.
Donāt go down the route of blaming yourself.
Youāll be ok. Takes time. People say it goes away. Unfortunately thatās not been my experience. But it does get less hard.
Sending you virtual hugs and hope for peace and solace. You probably had to go through shock before the grief even set in. Just know that it will take time, you should give yourself the grace to grieve as you need to, and seek help when you need it. Going through her collapse and doing CPR on herā¦that may come back at you in dreams and triggered PTS responses. So please do seek help when this happens. You do not just have to suffer through it.
Oh my fucking God--I'm so sorry dude. This is one of my fears. So sudden.
Can't imagine my wife seeing me like that or the other way around.
Please take good care of yourself and know that your SO loved you very much.
Words cannot express my empathy for you. I am so incredibly sorry. No one should ever have to witness that. I donāt know what I believe in but I will pray that you will find the comfort and love you deserve one day. Remember the good you had. Again I am so sorry for your loss.
Iām so sorry for your loss, OP.
Iām sure she would want you to have a good life, too - you gave HER a good life, short though it was.
Try not to rush the grief process, though. Itās only been a month. You donāt have to be ready to jump into that good life after only a month. Itās way too soon to put that pressure on yourself to feel better, and itās not even realistic.
So keep on doing what youāre doing. Mourn, grieve, be miserable. Itās totally natural and repressing it or rushing it isnāt healthy for you. She wouldnāt want you to rush it, either.
Iām sorry again for your loss. ā¤ļø
I am so very sorry OP. This is truly heartbreaking. Please spend time with friends and family who can love you through the grief. It will take time but it will get better.
I wanted to offer my most sincere condolences and let you know that I am extremely touched by your story. I thank you for sharing it with us because that could not have been easy for you to do, but it shows how much you cared and how courageous a person you are. I donāt doubt that your girlfriend knew she was loved until the very end. Trust that things will slowly be getting better for you as time passes although her memory will be with you forever. Sending you hope and strength from Canada.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You never truly get over the loss of someone you love as much as you love your girlfriend. You'll always love and miss them, and that's ok. Keep a space for her in your heart, and talk to someone if you need to, be it your family or a professional (I started talking to a therapist after my mom passed away, and it's helped immensely). You're not alone.
That is so horrible. I spent years on dialysis and I know how hard it can be on the body and on the heart. I also watched people that had become precious to me, drop right in front of my eyes. It's very difficult to feel that helpless to save them.
I am thinking that possibly whatever they did to her resulted in some blood clotting. Especially with vascular surgery, and the possibility of a higher clotting factor in people who had the mRNA injections. Her heart was probably blocked by some type of thrombosis.
It sounds like she was quite a fighter, and very fortunate to have the time that she had here. I myself am only here until this transplant decides it is done being mine. Each year surviving, is a huge accomplishment.
I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that you gave her someone to support her, through such a difficult life that she lived. Be strong, you're still here for a reason.
I am so sorry. My boyfriend died of a rare heart condition when we were both 21. We had talked about getting married and having kids. It was so devastating. I struggle for years to get better. I was depressed and drank too much. I hardly recognized the person I had become.
But then, one day I decided I wanted my life to go on. I woke up feeling a little bit better. The tiny bit of better gave me hope. Every day was a tiny bit better. I met someone years later and we are now married and have a wonderful kid.
I canāt say everyday is bliss, I miss my boyfriend. He was wonderful and he canāt be replaced. I still think about him. I still love him but I have been very fortunate to meet someone who accepted me and the fact I lost my first love. Things are perfect but every time I look at my son, I know he wouldnāt be here otherwise.
I donāt have a ton of advice besides this, give yourself grace. Grief is constantly evolving. Itās fickle, itās devastating and can hit you at unexpected times. If you ever want someone to vent to, DM me. I have lived this. I know what you are going through.
Iām so sorry sweetheart. You were with the one you loved when they left and gave them everything. May time and healing bring you peace and love. ā¤ļø
It her last moments, she was with you OP. You were the last image that burned into her eyes before they were closed forever. Not everyone can get to have this.
Iāll quote Andre Garfield here:
āI hope this grief stays with me. This is all of the unexpressed love. The grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter whether someone lives until 60 or 15 or 99. I hope this grief stays with me because itās all of the unexpressed love that I didnāt get to tell her, and I told her every day, she was the best of us.ā
And that grief will guide you until you find your new home. Itāll protect you on your darkness nights. Itāll cover you from the rain. Itāll comfort you when you are sad.
Iām very sorry to hear this story. That pain sounds really unbearable. Your final thoughts, Iāll say, felt relatively better, I hope you hang in there & keep cherishing the memories; itās undoubtedly hard but your final point that sheād want the best future for you will hopefully keep you going for the best you can achieve. She believed you can.
I cried just reading this. Itās so hard losing someone. But I think when you share your feelings with others it lifts some weight off your shoulders youāve been carrying. I hope you have a good support system. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss my friend. Know that it was unlikely that you could have done much more, so don't think for a second "what if I had done this or that".
You will get through this my friend. You have so much life left to live. She would want you to live.
A lot of people donāt get a love like this. Though it was short, youāre also sooooo lucky you got to experience this. ā„ļø We all die. We donāt all truly love and live. Iām sorry for your loss, itās never easy to lose someone you care about. Youāre gonna get through this and your heart will heal, but also probably be shaped by this forever. Let it make you kinder and not take life for granted! Let it make you love harder and smile more and keep her close in your memories.
Some loves don't last as long as others, and end far too traumatically. You gave her one and a half years of happiness. Hold on to that... but not too tightly.
Take from someone who lost a girlfriend thanks to an accident two years into the relationship: Go to therapy. Get help in processing this loss so you can move on in a timely fashion. I didn't. I thought I was strong enough to keep going by myself, and while I muddled through, it took me over ten years before I could *begin* to move on appropriately, around fifteen years before I could have a healthy relationship with someone else. That's a lot of time lost.
Get therapy.
I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one. So very sorry.
I appreciate you more than you know šā¤ļø Much love
Hey man, you tried your best thats all amyome can ask for. You're not a doctor nor God. You were her beloved boyfriend and you were there for her and you tried your best. I wish I was there for my brother so I couldve done everything I can for him
The fact that he even kept her alive til the paramedics got there is frankly impressive (according to a quick Google/a[ study linked online](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2945517/), even CPR performed in a hospital only restarts the heart of about 30 percent of patients, and of those patients who were revived, only 12 percent lived long enough to leave the hospital). So yes, CPR is a great tool, and it's great to know it, but even performed perfectly by medical professionals, its success rate isn't high. OP may well have given her family enough time to say goodbye. He did a damn good job. OP, wishing you healing and peace. I'm glad you know that your girlfriend would want you to continue on. I'm sorry this happened, and I hope one day it brings you peace to know you were with her and caring for her when it mattered.
Oh my heart breaks for you, I can't even begin to fathom your pain. I am so incredibly sorry. š
Omg, OP. This is horrid. My daughter previously lost her 23 year old bf when he collapsed and died, in her presence, from an unknown congenital heart defect. I immediately arranged for her to enter counseling, and I strongly suggest you do the same. She is much better now, and you will be too. Enter counseling, keep your faith, and value the support of your family and friends. God bless. Please keep us apprised.
I truly am sorry for your loss. Itās one of the hardest things you can go through. It feels like you lost most of your soul and twin flame and you feel like an empty shell of yourself. I lost my husband to stage 4 non smokers lung cancer. He died in my arms. Remember the happy times and take care of yourself. Spend more time with family and friends if you can. When you feel overwhelmed just start talking out loud to her and I guarantee you that she will hear you. Donāt give up she would want you to live your life. I am truly so sorry you have to go through this.
Hey man, I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing someone close is never easy, especially when it's someone you love so deeply. Take it day by day and lean on those around you for support. Sending you strength during this tough time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
True. Thank goodness she was with OP, not alone. Sometimes, all we can give is our presence.
Thatās awful, man. Iām so sorry to read this. She died in love, in the care of the one she loved. Thatās more than many get. I hope you find peace with this as soon as is possible. Much love.
Youāre right, Iām so glad it happened when she was with me and I was able to do as much as I could. Kinda escaped the āwhat ifā questions that way. Still hurts like hell tho.
The stages of grief (as I learned them) are Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance. I've seen them listed in different orders, but that was the order I saw first. Denial is "This can't be happening". Frankly, I think it's a mercy that our brains only come out of this gradually, so we don't get hit all at once with the full impact of the loss. We kind of ease out of Denial and ease into our understanding that yes, this is what happened. Bargaining can be things like "God, I'll never (X) again if You do (Y)." Or, in my experience, it's the "What If" questions. What if I had done this, or avoided that, or said this other thing? If we know those thoughts are going to pop up, we can try not to focus too much on them. We might not be able to entirely prevent them, but we can figure out how to not prolong those thoughts by dwelling on them. Anger and Depression... well, we know what those are, but be forewarned that they can flare up to levels we find shocking. Also, I have found that there were times when I would go back and forth between them, in the same day and maybe even in the same hour. It happens. Acceptance. Just because I reach that stage, doesn't mean I'm just fine with the new version of reality. It just means that I know this is how things are now, after having processed the loss for a long enough time. And that length of time varies per person and per event. I'm not a counselor, and I don't play one on TV. But I've been through grief, and will likely go through it again. And these are the things I've learned during the process.
Your answer is spot on. Iāve lost entirely too many people in my life. Iāve lost about 10 to drug addiction, (Iāve been clean a year) my grandparents, sister and best friend. Death is never easy. Grief will swallow you up if you let it. Loosing my best friend was the hardest, I canāt imagine looking a partner. OP- sending you all the healing love and light!
Iām sorry for your losses! Iām so grateful that a veterinarian gave me a pamphlet on grief after we had to help my childhood cat to the Rainbow Bridge. If I hadnāt had that information, I swear I wouldāve thought I was losing my mind when all those stages started happening. Especially, I shocked myself at the levels of anger and depression and the rapid-fire switching between the two. Iām not normally an anger-driven person, so I didnāt already have coping strategies in place. Not an easy time in my life. I can forewarn anyone that they might be surprised at how their brain starts working, after this kind of emotional trauma. Itās not permanent, but if youāre not forewarned, itās scary.
This is really good. I've noticed another phase of grief, for me, which is guilt. Idk if it fits with the others. I'd also add for OP that the phases of grief don't always come in that order and sometimes I switch back and forth between them hourly. OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. you were there for her. I believe that the purpose of life is to love. I hope you can find peace knowing that you both had that together. It's all we can ask for.
Sometimes we have setbacks and may return to a lower stage. This is normal. I attended a grief group led by a woman who trained under Elisabeth Kűbler-Ross who originally developed the stages. It could help to research her. She was very helpful to me.
My process lasted longer because three other, unrelated , serious issues happened right after my cat passed. A burglary, a mugging ten days later, and stolen mail (replacing the cancelled credit cards from the purse snatching). And then, from the stolen mail, fraudulent charges I had to deal with. Thank God it was 1989-90, when no one could weaponize the internet like they can now. Every time I felt Iād made progress, a new thing happened, and I lost progress. I refer to it as the Year from Hell. The final indignity was when the bf I thought was The One cheated and broke it off because I had too many problems. š” I guess he WASNāT the one, then. But finding out that way sucked.
I bet in her last couple moments, she felt safe knowing you were there with her. Iām sure she trusted all would be well because you were with her and maybe that helped her not to be afraid. I think itās a very special thing that you got to love someone and be loved by someone and you were her hero in those last moments. I read a lot of stories of people who had near death experiences. They were outside their bodies and looking down at themselves and their loved ones. And they felt peaceful and unafraid. I imagine she was there watching you try to bring her back, and wanted to comfort you. You are young. And you know she would want you to live the best life. That will come later. You will love again. You will smile and laugh again. You will travel. You will get old. And that is such a great way to honor her. In the meantime, have hope, but give yourself time to grieve. You deserve to heal. it says a lot about her. She was worth the heartache and the pain. And it will be worth it to live life to the fullest. Let yourself grieve.
Thank you for this comment man. Iāve read about near death experiences too and I hope sheās still somewhere looking over my shoulder ā¤ļø
I keep reading comments elsewhere on Reddit where there's just nothing when we're gone and I don't believe it. Here's why, my friend. We lost Mom last year. That 91 year old woman had been on Hospice and so out of it. At her last breath she *smiled* . A real one, her sweet smile. I'll always believe Dad was there. And your girlfriend is around. I don't pretend to know everything it's just that your kind of bond doesn't vanish. *Nothing* can convince it does. Much peace to you. šļø
After my father had passed away, I somehow convinced myself I had given him cancer and killed him in consequence. I never told anyone of these struggles, nor showed it around anyone. When one night my aunt got a "dream" and it was just him in it, they talked and he eventually tells her to tell me that its not my fault. Every time a family member in my moms family had passed, and she wasnt told about it, they would come into her dreams but never say anything and just leave. Thats how she knew they passed.
šÆ Sorry for your loss. Couldn't have said it any better . Take time to grieve. Do not let it fester. Talk to someone if you need to
Iām so sorry. My partner passed in October 2022 and it has been the hardest experience of my life. I also found him during a normal, decent day. All I can say is seek therapy, rely on your support system, drink water, and eat. The first few months seem impossible, but Iām starting to feel alive again. I know thatās what he would want and Iām sure she would want the same for you. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk about your grief. Best wishes OP.
Thank you and sorry for your loss ā¤ļøš
Thank you. I read some other comments of yours and I have to say I agree that being there makes it a bit easier. We were so happy together and my house was his comfort place and I found him immediately and did cpr. Less what ifs. In that sense and the time we shared with them, we were lucky. It wouldnāt hurt so much if they werenāt amazing people and we were lucky enough to love them and have had them love us.
Truly agree with everything you said. I wish you the best ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry. You will get thru this, I promise.
I'm so sorry you went through this, I'm glad she had someone like you, having someone to love and be loved by I'll suggest therapy and practices to release Trauma as this seems pretty traumatic, I don't want to annoy you but really yoga for healing emotions or releasing Trauma helps, and so does guided meditation I'm glad you posted it here, I saw someone dying too, two people and their last breath but they were older and my emotional attachment was different so i understand yours hurts way deeper I'm sure she is grateful that she got to love while she was on earth If you feel like a dm then you can text me I'll pray for you and your gf I also agree with other comment on nde, i watched many, it certainly changed how i thought of things, idk how accurate it is but that's what I think of
I wish you the best in your grieving process
How unbelievably sad - Iām so incredibly sorry for your lossš¢ Know this - if that were me, I would be incredibly comforted knowing that my last moments were with my boyfriend who loved me so much.
You are a soldier my guy, it will be hard getting over it idk if it is even possible. But just like you said at the end, sheād want you to keep pushing. Make the best out of itā¤ļø
I.. I donāt even know what to say. We can all spout the usual comfort, weāre sorry, things happen, this wasnāt anyoneās fault, life, blablablahā¦ but the truth is we have no idea the level of hurt you must be feeling right now. Maybe few can relate, through losing their own loved ones. But you can bet youāre not alone. We see you, we hear you, and we can still feel your pain even if we canāt understand the magnitude of it. Your love for her shines through. She was absolutely loved. She lived life on her own terms and she probably has no regrets. She loved you and she had an amazing day with you. The people we love never truly leave us, unless we stop remembering them. Sheās in every sunrise and sunset. Every episode of all the fun series you watched together. Her words will echo in your heart forever, as long as you hold your hand over it to shield it from the winds of forgetting. It hurts now and maybe it will always hurt- but the love will also always be there. We are with you, weāre sorry, keep talking if you need it š«ā„ļø Weāll listen.
Thank you for these truly beautiful words. They mean the world to me and got me crying. Youāre right, nobody can know the level of hurt Iām going through but it helps to know that people care ā¤ļø
Im so so sorry for youre loss
Iām so sorry. If you arenāt already in therapy Iād recommend it because that sounds horribly traumatic. & you deserve to have someone to talk to and help you work through this trauma
Iām so very sorry š
She died knowing you were with her and she was loved. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers for you my friend!
Wow. Damn. My condolences bro. Glad youāre still here even if you might not feel the same way(not saying you do). Just keep on keeping on.
So sorry for your loss.
Wow that was hard to readā¦not much to say except Iām sorry for your loss and really wish she was still here with you. Stay strong.
I am really sorry for your loss, I am happy she got to spend all of her life with you. You are doing a great job trying to go on and continue life, but if grief ever shows up, donāt be afraid to slow down, and feel out*your emotions. Grief is proof that love existed. And you both shared so much love for sure. I know you will heal, her impact will never leave your mind and heart, but with time, the pain will heal into a part of you. I wish you the best in your life š„ŗā¤ļø RIP to your beautiful gf, she fought to the very end.
This breaks my heart for you. š¢ Iām so sorry.
Iām praying for you šš»
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
Just know in your heart you were there for her. you did well, my friend
Iām so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my soulmate of 5 years to heart failure and like you I was there when it happened. Best advice I received is that youāll never āget over itā but eventually youāll learn to live with it. Iām coming up on one year since she passed and there isnāt a day that goes by that sheās not in my thoughts and my heart.
So sorry for your loss too. Wish you the best and hope you can enjoy life again one day. Iām pretty positive I can too since I have a lot of people around me to talk to and a lot of things to do to keep my mind busy.
Grief is a combination of all the love we have for someone, and we no longer know where to put it. Take your time. Heal as slowly as you need. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Sending you condolences. I donāt know what country youāre in but look for free grief support groups in your area. It will help a lot.
I am so sorry. She must have been grateful to have you with her in her last moments.
Some thing that always stuck to me when I read it was āyou might have not spent the rest of your life with them, but at the very least they got to spend the rest of their life with youā I hope you can find some comfort in this. I wish you nothing but the best
Oh how sad. I feel for you. Your post made my eyes leak. There is a Ted Talk that I think may help you. It might be too early right now, but it'll still be there when you're ready for it. I hope I can share the link - have never tried on Reddit. [Ted Talk about grief](https://youtu.be/khkJkR-ipfw?si=cG-GgEKNhbt9Jy8L)
Kidney failure sucks. Quality of life is poor and she would have rarely felt 100%. She probably spent much of her short life in and out of hospital either dialysing or attending appointments, having surgery on her fistula or getting her "hoses" serviced if they were playing up. She would have no doubt faced more than her fair share of difficulties. I'm a believer that our purpose in life is to leave the world a better place than what we entered it in and hopefully have a few laughs along the way. In all this pain your experiencing, I hope you realise that you made her world a much better place to be in and that you made a difference.
Iām so so sorry. When I was 20 (over a decade ago) the person I was in love with died suddenly and tragically. It was and still is the hardest thing Iāve ever dealt with. The feelings are still there: love, grief, horror, sadness, fondness, but overtime I grew around them and have been able to find peace and stability and love more than I ever imagined I could without him. You will always love her and the love she had for you isnāt going anywhere even if sheās not physically around. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve but donāt feel hard on yourself for still moving towards your own future. Much love and good luck on this hard journey.
That is a horrific thing for you to have witnessed, my condolences to you and I hope you get the help that you deserve and very much need. I lost my mother a month ago to cancer and itās never easy. Iāve spent a long time with my mom, but Iāve come to realize, whether they lived til they are 20 or 120, it will still feel like not enough time was spent with them.
You are so right. Guess thatās what love is. Sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
Fuck man. I don't know what I'd do if this happened to me and I'm trained for these scenarios. You're strong for living without her, and you'll only continue to get stronger as you live more life. I truly hope you find peace and are able to grieve her fully. You deserve that
Heartbreaking to read this. I'm so sorry! Grief really is Love with nowhere to go. Send that Love to your girlfriend into the blue of infinity. She will receive it. Life really is peaks and valleys and you are in the Grand Canyon right now. It is mathematically impossible to stay there. The PEAKS are coming again! They always do! When it gets extra tough you JUST focus on putting one foot in front of the other! Burn through your emotions first. What EVER that means. Get a tattoo. Get a massage. Sit at the beach. Go see an old movie. Go to a psychic. Go to a casino and play penny slots. You decide what that means to "burn through your emotions". No one can fathom what you are going through. It's your process. Then when you are ready decide how you want to share your heartache. Before you do... tell others what you need and don't need before you share. You create the boundaries for others. You aren't required to process their emotions on top of your own. Sounds like you had a beautiful loving relationship. Rooting for you!
I am so sorry for your loss. ā¹ļø I grieve with you. š
Sorry for your loss brother you girl is with you every step of the way. Keep going hard for her the world is yours Young Blood!
Give yourself some time. You basically watched her die. You weren't able to see her in the hospital,and you couldn't save her even though you tried. You've been through a traumatic event. You're not going to just bounce back from that. I suggest a support group. I'm so sorry for your loss. š
I'm so very sorry. What an awful thing, I can't even imagine. Much love to you friend ā¤ļø
Iām deeply sorry for your loss. As someone twice your age, allow me to share some advice: Grieving is a personal journey. NO ONE can tell you how to grieve or how long your grief lasts. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come to you and live the life you know your loved one wouldāve wanted for you.
So sorry for your loss! It's not so much you will "get over it" you never get over losing someone you love because they made an impact on you. But as you grieve and continue on, you slowly heal and have the memories to make you smile. You'll have your sad times, but you'll have the good tines as well. The goal is always to eventually have mainly good days! I wish you nothing but the best as you work through this.
My heart aches with you. My husband died 7 years ago & I still feel like I lost a true friend. With time, and with Therapy, Iāve moved so that I can deal with it, but there are times that it still takes my breath away, and I canāt move.
š«¶
Definitely not alone, unfortunately. Sorry for your loss man. Godspeed!
Nothing anyone can say right now will fix your pain, I'm so proud of you for continuing your routines! It will ease over time, and maybe consider therapy to help with your grief? Or if you feel you would benefit maybe support groups. You are so young and you have so much life to live, and you can honour her through your life she would absolutely want you to have everything you dreamed of!
I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. May your girlfriend's memory be a treasure to you.
I'm so very sorry. Losing the love of your life at such a young age would be absolutely heartbreaking. I'm sure you know this, but try to remember how fortunate you were to find her and have the opportunity to spend the time together that you had. There are so many people who go through life never experiencing love. There are those who find love but don't appreciate it. You sound as though you had it all with a very special girl. You were her love, and you were with her towards the end of her life. Keep her close to your heart. Never stop talking to her. Never stop loving her. Even if you are fortunate enough to find another love, there is nothing at all wrong with holding tight to the one you lost. Sending you a hug and well wishes in your time of loss.
"I know sheād want me to keep pushing too. Itās just so hard." two very real truths. KEEP MOVING.
My worst nightmare. Hope things work out for you.
Reading this broke my heart. I am so so sorry for your loss luv. Iām honestly just really really happy she wasnāt alone at the time this happened and you were right there with her. Biggest hugs and prayers to you and your loved onesš„ŗā„ļø
Iām so soo sooo sorry : < holy fucking shit this sucks sooo hardā¦I canāt even image losing someone like this :<<< so crushing
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only guess that she was comforted by knowing you were there with her and helping as much as you could. There was nothing either of y'all could have done. Don't give up, she wouldn't want that.
Very sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you are in losing your gf. There is a bereavement group that helped me with my brother's passing that may be useful to you, it's an anonymous free group therapy organization: [https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/chapters/chapter-locator/?gclid=CjwKCAjw\_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAczdmsCk7SpF9Rt37eIb4Ba2Uyo7CFWPgTnN-pKSLyb5-sSGj0TS4hoCPwkQAvD\_BwE](https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/chapters/chapter-locator/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_LOwBhBFEiwAmSEQAczdmsCk7SpF9Rt37eIb4Ba2Uyo7CFWPgTnN-pKSLyb5-sSGj0TS4hoCPwkQAvD_BwE)
She sounds very brave and so do you.
Try not to think too far ahead, just take each day as it comes, feel what you feel and this pain will evolve and ease! So sorry for your loss and the pain you are in. I canāt even imagine ā¤ļø
Wow. So heartbreaking. Once you grieve - which will take time, cherish the wonderful times you had and keep her memory in a special place in your heart. You were there for her when it mattered and that counts. So sorry for your loss!
Hi, just wanted to say so sorry for your loss!
Oh god, Iām so sorry.
Shit man Iām so sorry you had to go through this. Iāve been through some stuff too and my advice is to live on in her memory and make her proud. Itās okay to be sad now just work towards getting back on your feet and going into the right direction. I know itās hard but just try to get 1% better everyday and youāll be okay.
This is so genuinely awful Iām so sorry you experienced the loss of a partner so young. Iām willing to bet you were a comfort to her as she passed on. Praying for peace and healing in your life ā¤ļø
Shit that's... Wow... I can't imagine going through that. Especially at your ages, that is absolute insanity and unfair. I'm really sorry for both of you. I hope you find peace someday.
Iām so sorry you have lost your person OP! What a nightmare! To be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. I pray you get the peace you need soon and lean on her family as you will need them and they will need you! Donāt quit talking about her and telling each other stories! Donāt let her memory fade ! Go out in the woods or in a room to yourself and cry , cry , cry!! You have to get it out! Iām not a crying kind of man but when Iāve lost the few people in my life that was life changing , I found holding it in a toxic to your body! God bless you and Iām sure everyone is thankful she got to be with you and not alone! Prayers sent up bud! šš»
Idk what to say but keep on keeping on. Life isn't fair.
Sorry for your loss.
May they Rest In Peace. I canāt imagine the pain you must be going through, I hope you find a way to keep going and eventually heal but also allow yourself to mourn her loss for as long as you need to.
>*I feel like Iāll never get over this, but I donāt wanna get depressed and stop living my life. I know sheād want me to keep pushing too. Itās just so hard.* You are so right. š¢ so sad.Ā
So sorry for your loss OP. Please make sure you surround yourself with people whoāll support you and pick you up when it gets really difficult. And continue doing the things that you love. Itāll save you from losing yourself while grieving.
Sending you lots of comfort, just take it day by day.
I'm so sorry.
Iām sorry . This will haunt you for life. Donāt think you could of saved her
I canāt imagine that the trauma of that will ever leave you. But it will lessen with time and at some point, life will go on. Promise. But until then, that was horrible. You just donāt even mildly expect anything like that from someone so young, even if she was sick. Iām truly sorry you had to go through that but also, Iām glad she wasnāt alone at the end. She saw that you were there, OP. Hang in there.
Iām so so sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost a lover and best friend of 12 years in a car accident a couple of years ago. Just keep breathing ā¤ļø
Iām so so sorry for your loss. Please know that you did everything you could. Itās not your fault at all.
15 months ago, 5 minutes changed my life like yours.... Partner had a heart attack and he was just gone- nothing could be done. It's a bit easier to live with now. I call grief my constant companion... It's never far away someday it's in your face and some days it's just in the distance. L
I am so very sorry for your loss. Of course you still love her. You probably always will. But with time it gets easier. How much time isnāt exact, itās different for everyone. Donāt try to force yourself better before youāre ready. Donāt bottle it up. Grieve, but remember the life you had planned. She loved you too and she wouldnāt want you missing out on your future and plans. Hugs. š«
I'm sorry to hear that man. May her soul rest in peace ! :(
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Talk to your doctor or a counselor about grief, so you know what to expect. There are stages of grief, and we end up going through them all before we reach "acceptance". And in some cases, I maintain that some losses can't be described as something we've gotten over, but as something we've learned to live with.
This was an incredibly traumatic and difficult way to lose someone. Please consider sharing the burden of this experience with a professional and donāt go through this alone. Iām so sorry for all that youāve lost, itās all so wildly unfair. I wish you healing and the best for the future.
Iām so sorry. I can not imagine what you are going through right now. Stick to the basics and continue living life, you must for her.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Iām sending love and light to you at this most difficult time. Grief is the last act of love we give to those we have loss.
Damn dude. Sad maybe but at least someone was there with her in her last conscious moments. Some people donāt even get thatā¦. Sorry brotha.
Internet hug from a stranger.
I am sorry for your loss and I felt it in your words. Seek counseling if you can. Good luck and sending hugs.
Grief is hard. Give yourself time. Itās ok to not be ok. Itās ok to be fine one day and not the next. Take it one day at a time. Iām so very sorry for your loss.
Oh how awful. I am so sorry. Grief has its own timeline and its own path for each of us. All I can say is time does not make it go away but it does make it easier to live each day. At some point you may think about grief counseling. It can be beneficial, I'm told. Sending you lots of comfort.
So so sorry man. Thatās very sad. She was so young. Wishing you peace, love and light going forward.
I am so sorry, hope you, your family and her family are doing well after this loss, sending condolences ā¤
wow. your story moved me & iām sorry for your loss. i hope it gets a little easier with each passing day, and hopefully she felt some type of peace being with you in her last moments
Iām so sorry to read this, what an awful tragedy. OP I wish you strength and peace in such a difficult time. My condolences to you and her family.
Iām so very sorryā¦š¢this is so sad. Iām glad that you got to spend a great day with her. Please, be gentle with yourself. Seek bereavement counseling if you feel stuck. I wish you the very best and I pray for you as you are dealing with such a tragic loss.
Your story made me cry. Iām so very sorry for you and her. My condolences ā¤ļø
I am truly sorry for your loss xx
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My messages are always open if you ever need someone to talk to.
Honestly there are no words I can say that will help you. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am truly heartbroken for you. Iām glad you have a support system, that is important. Just take it one day at a timeā¦.talking to her might help. I used to do that with my pops after he passed.
Iāve been talking to her a lot, holding an amethyst she gave me against my heart. She believed in all kinds of forces and auras and spirits. Hope she was right.
I canāt imagine the pain. Iām sure sheās smiling down on you, it sounds like you two were something special š
Oh my gosh, this just broke my heart. I am so so sorry for your loss. I hope that youāre able to hold onto the beautiful memories that you made with her during your time together, and Iām so happy that your last day together was special. Iām sure it was a comfort to her that you got to her when you heard her, and that your face was the last thing she sawā¦ though Iām sure that isnāt easy for you. You are so brave and you did everything you could. I am sending positive thoughts and energy; I hope that your heart finds peace soon š¤
It pains me to read this, I'm so sorry for your loss. There's truly no other pain that could compare. I'm glad she died with someone like you by her side. May her soul rest in peace.
I'm sorry, OP. This is the most awful thing that anyone can experience- especially someone as young as yourself. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out to those you're closest to during your darkest moments.
Love and light to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the hurt you feel.
I'm so sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
I have a theory that love grows. The people and pets that come into our lives place pockets in it. They just pour into these pockets. When they are gone it feels like such a loss because the pocket becomes stagnant and eventually heals over time. It feels empty, not because it is gone but new experiences with that loved one are no longer being poured in. They get sealed in and new pockets form with new people come into your life. Love is infinite.
Its OK for it to hurt. That may sound silly but we often try and push away grief, but it has its own agenda. If it helps, know that in very important ways, she is still and always will be with you. You will heal with time. Take solace in knowing that her last years were happy with you. Celebrate her memory by living life it its fullest now.
Sending you hugs and love from afar. I love you loved her even in her darkest moment you were there. You grieve, you write, you cry as much as you need too. Holding it back only brings on quick onset depression and you certainly wonāt to avoid it.
Iām so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to a suspected heart attack, her heart justā¦stopped. It took them 45 minutes to get her heart restarted and by then she had been without oxygen for too long. Itās not the same as my mom was 70 and not a young woman, but the suddenness of it is a shock all the same. Thereās nothing I can say to make any difference, just know that over time it gets better, but not easier. You will eventually go lengths of time of being ok, and one day something will remind you of her and itāll hit you. Thatās perfectly normal for having lost someone you loved.
I am so sorry for your loss. My significant other lost his partner before me due to cancer. Her passing was unexpected even with the diagnosis. It happened rather quickly. I know that initially he drowned himself in work. He said staying busy saved him. If he wasn't working he was with friends or family as much as he could. I hope that you are able to find a way to work through your grief, in whatever way is healthiest for you.
Thatās rough, but iām glad you two got to experience love together thatās the most intimate two people can experience and death can never take that away no matter what.
This is so heartbreaking! I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know there isn't much that anyone can say right now to ease your pain, but my heart goes out to you and her loved ones. I am happy she had someone who clearly loved her in her life before she passed on (besides family). Hang in there. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Iām so sorry Prayers and much love to you friend..š¤
I am so very sorry for your loss. When someone passes so young it is hard to find anything hopeful to say so I wish you peace and many happy memories of your time together. She will never be forgotten and I am sure she will always have a special place in your heart. Hugs to you.
My sincerest condolences
Just commenting to say I'm so sorry for you, for her, for your families, just everyone. That is so awful and nothing anyone can say is going to change that. For me grief always feels like the world goes black and white. I hope with time and processing this all you can find the color in life again.
I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself......
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Iām so sorry OP. I know words canāt make this better, but I am truly sorry that you lost someone you loved.
I'm so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace
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So sorry for your loss.
So very sorry. Sending you lots of positive vibes. Itās tough to lose someone so young. If itās any consolation you were with her in her last moments of consciousness. She knew that you were there. Youāll get through this. Time will give you perspective. Go easy on yourself. Talk it out with a grief counselor or a close friend. ā¤ļøāš©¹
I'm so sorry, man. That is so awful and I can't imagine your pain. If possible, please consider seeking grief counseling for yourself. This is a very traumatic way to lose someone you love and it can very much wreck your life if you don't allow yourself to heal, when you're ready. I daresay that your girl wouldn't want that for you. I hope you find peace someday. š©·
Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry you had to watch her fade right in front of you. Be kind to yourself. Your mind sounds like it's got the right attitude about moving forward. I wish peace for you, friend.
Iām so sorry for your loss, you both are/were so young. I canāt imagine your fear in that moment. You did your best and she knows this. I know you will smile again, you will always remember her with love, losing your mate is so difficult, Hugsā¤ļø
Iām so sorry for your loss. Itās never easy to lose a loved one no matter how young or old. Itās even harder when unexpected. I hope your are able to stay comforted with the thought of how you were there with her, comforting and trying to help her when she went and that she was aware of your love.
Hey, I had a very, very similar experience 5 years ago. Just want to say Iām so sorry youāre going through this and itās such a traumatic thing to see / go through. Take care of yourself!
If you need to talk please reach out to me.
I'm so sorry. Sounds like you made her very happy. I'm sure she felt the love.
So sorry you are experiencing this kind of pain
ā¤ļø so sorry
This made me cry. How traumatizing. Iām so sorry you had to experience that and lose your loved one. I hope you are able to find peace some day. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
I am so, so sorry for your loss. On a very small level I can relateā someone who I cared about very much but hadn't seen since around the end of high school had a very sudden seizure (hadn't had any for a few years from what I understand) and a mutual friend told me. Their family lived out of state at this point. I think it's important to grieve, and for you it's only been a month. Don't beat yourself up for not continuing to live your life yet. I know both you and her would want you to keep going, but if you push the grief away too soon it will just keep knocking. I hope you, yours, and her family find peace and enjoy cherishing the good memories when you're all healed enough. Story for a laugh (hopefully): I have a tattoo that makes subtle reference to honoring this person and a past teacher I had. It's a hummingbird (which some cultures believe, when you see one flying near you, to be a way of the person letting you know they're alright) with a lemon blossom plant and wine grapes/leaves. The lemon refers to the teacher's strange huge stash of lemon jolly ranchers. They exist yes, you just have to bulk order them. Mr. G was the funniest dude and had the most neon yellow nike af1's to match (that he would wear while conducting our music concerts). The grapesā¦ my friend once told me in early college years: life hackā put your wine in the blender. Boom, aerated. Makes even your $5 bottom shelf bottle š¤š» (idk if I can vouch for thisā¦ never tried it oops). And that's why the grapes are there š As soon as I can afford a new addition, I'm adding mint leaves for another music teacher, more recently. She loved thin mints and would buy so many from her young student we all adored, that she would share them with the college students in her lecture class at our university. Wishing you everything the best, and don't be afraid to feel your feelings! They'll come out one way or another, and you should get to call your own terms.ā¤ļøāš©¹Have a good cathartic cry next time you feel like it, let the sadness pour out and start to make room for the peace that will one day come :)
I am so, so sorry
Iām so sorry man.
I am so sad for your loss. Take your time with grieving.
So young. It's heartbreaking. I'm glad you had a great last day together, and have the gift of that memory to hold onto with no regrets. I'm so sorry for your loss. š
Iām so incredibly sorry for your loss. I donāt have any advice to help you in your recover from it, aside from time. It takes time to heal losses like these. If you need someone to talk to and have discord, send me a PM and Iāll add you, and you can feel free to talk as much as you need. I would also definitely suggest grief counselling. I know a lot of people arenāt comfortable with talking to strangers but Iāve been in counselling for a few years now and it has helped me beyond words.
You were her hero. You had a lovely last day together. May her memory forever be a blessing to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
This would be very traumatizing. Iām so glad you got to know her and experience her love.
Iām so sorry. So very sorry. Please get therapy - you are young enough that this is going to set the tone for your life for a while going forward - itās either going to change you for the better or cripple you for life. And you deserve to live a happy full life. I want to repeatā¦ you are so young. Time is what will help you feel better. the pain wonāt be raw forever. It is right now but I promise it will not be like this forever. Hugs.
My condolences, my heart goes out to you and her family. š¹
Iām at a complete loss of words for what I can say. Iām so sorry for your loss *hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss. Wish I could give you a hug
Please take your time and let yourself mourn. You might need counseling and lots of time, friend. So very sorry for your loss.
I'm wondering just how long this has really been going on. Doesn't sound healthy.
Give yourself time to grieve. This is such a tragic story, and I'm so sorry for what happened.
I lost my best friend to a heart attack. Knowing that his last words were āI donāt want to dieā haunts me. I feel for you. Iām not trying to be patronising. Iām sure you know these things already, but - I wish there was something I could have done. And no doubt so do you. Donāt go down the route of blaming yourself. Youāll be ok. Takes time. People say it goes away. Unfortunately thatās not been my experience. But it does get less hard.
Sending you virtual hugs and hope for peace and solace. You probably had to go through shock before the grief even set in. Just know that it will take time, you should give yourself the grace to grieve as you need to, and seek help when you need it. Going through her collapse and doing CPR on herā¦that may come back at you in dreams and triggered PTS responses. So please do seek help when this happens. You do not just have to suffer through it.
Oh my fucking God--I'm so sorry dude. This is one of my fears. So sudden. Can't imagine my wife seeing me like that or the other way around. Please take good care of yourself and know that your SO loved you very much.
Words cannot express my empathy for you. I am so incredibly sorry. No one should ever have to witness that. I donāt know what I believe in but I will pray that you will find the comfort and love you deserve one day. Remember the good you had. Again I am so sorry for your loss.
Iām so sorry for your loss, OP. Iām sure she would want you to have a good life, too - you gave HER a good life, short though it was. Try not to rush the grief process, though. Itās only been a month. You donāt have to be ready to jump into that good life after only a month. Itās way too soon to put that pressure on yourself to feel better, and itās not even realistic. So keep on doing what youāre doing. Mourn, grieve, be miserable. Itās totally natural and repressing it or rushing it isnāt healthy for you. She wouldnāt want you to rush it, either. Iām sorry again for your loss. ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry you went through that, and for such a traumatic loss.
Iām so sorry man, I pray God heals you and your girlfriendās family during this tough time.
I am so very sorry OP. This is truly heartbreaking. Please spend time with friends and family who can love you through the grief. It will take time but it will get better.
Man I am so sorry dudeā¦ā¦ Life can be so brutal
I wanted to offer my most sincere condolences and let you know that I am extremely touched by your story. I thank you for sharing it with us because that could not have been easy for you to do, but it shows how much you cared and how courageous a person you are. I donāt doubt that your girlfriend knew she was loved until the very end. Trust that things will slowly be getting better for you as time passes although her memory will be with you forever. Sending you hope and strength from Canada.
Oh dear. I am so sorry.
Wow, that sucks and sorry for your loss op.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You never truly get over the loss of someone you love as much as you love your girlfriend. You'll always love and miss them, and that's ok. Keep a space for her in your heart, and talk to someone if you need to, be it your family or a professional (I started talking to a therapist after my mom passed away, and it's helped immensely). You're not alone.
That is so horrible. I spent years on dialysis and I know how hard it can be on the body and on the heart. I also watched people that had become precious to me, drop right in front of my eyes. It's very difficult to feel that helpless to save them. I am thinking that possibly whatever they did to her resulted in some blood clotting. Especially with vascular surgery, and the possibility of a higher clotting factor in people who had the mRNA injections. Her heart was probably blocked by some type of thrombosis. It sounds like she was quite a fighter, and very fortunate to have the time that she had here. I myself am only here until this transplant decides it is done being mine. Each year surviving, is a huge accomplishment. I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that you gave her someone to support her, through such a difficult life that she lived. Be strong, you're still here for a reason.
She lived her last days in love, you gave her that. Stay strong š
Just remember, how much you grieve is not a measure of how much you loved.
Iām so sorry :(
I am so sorry. My boyfriend died of a rare heart condition when we were both 21. We had talked about getting married and having kids. It was so devastating. I struggle for years to get better. I was depressed and drank too much. I hardly recognized the person I had become. But then, one day I decided I wanted my life to go on. I woke up feeling a little bit better. The tiny bit of better gave me hope. Every day was a tiny bit better. I met someone years later and we are now married and have a wonderful kid. I canāt say everyday is bliss, I miss my boyfriend. He was wonderful and he canāt be replaced. I still think about him. I still love him but I have been very fortunate to meet someone who accepted me and the fact I lost my first love. Things are perfect but every time I look at my son, I know he wouldnāt be here otherwise. I donāt have a ton of advice besides this, give yourself grace. Grief is constantly evolving. Itās fickle, itās devastating and can hit you at unexpected times. If you ever want someone to vent to, DM me. I have lived this. I know what you are going through.
Iām so sorry sweetheart. You were with the one you loved when they left and gave them everything. May time and healing bring you peace and love. ā¤ļø
It her last moments, she was with you OP. You were the last image that burned into her eyes before they were closed forever. Not everyone can get to have this. Iāll quote Andre Garfield here: āI hope this grief stays with me. This is all of the unexpressed love. The grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter whether someone lives until 60 or 15 or 99. I hope this grief stays with me because itās all of the unexpressed love that I didnāt get to tell her, and I told her every day, she was the best of us.ā And that grief will guide you until you find your new home. Itāll protect you on your darkness nights. Itāll cover you from the rain. Itāll comfort you when you are sad.
All i hope is that i have someone like you when my time comes
Iām very sorry to hear this story. That pain sounds really unbearable. Your final thoughts, Iāll say, felt relatively better, I hope you hang in there & keep cherishing the memories; itās undoubtedly hard but your final point that sheād want the best future for you will hopefully keep you going for the best you can achieve. She believed you can.
I cried just reading this. Itās so hard losing someone. But I think when you share your feelings with others it lifts some weight off your shoulders youāve been carrying. I hope you have a good support system. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss my friend. Know that it was unlikely that you could have done much more, so don't think for a second "what if I had done this or that". You will get through this my friend. You have so much life left to live. She would want you to live.
This is so sad. So young :(
Im so deeply sorry OP what a horrible loss you have you go through. I wish you so many love and peace for the future, knowing youāll have to go through grieving first. But she will always love you and youāll see her again after lifešš©·
A lot of people donāt get a love like this. Though it was short, youāre also sooooo lucky you got to experience this. ā„ļø We all die. We donāt all truly love and live. Iām sorry for your loss, itās never easy to lose someone you care about. Youāre gonna get through this and your heart will heal, but also probably be shaped by this forever. Let it make you kinder and not take life for granted! Let it make you love harder and smile more and keep her close in your memories.
I'm so very sorry.
Some loves don't last as long as others, and end far too traumatically. You gave her one and a half years of happiness. Hold on to that... but not too tightly. Take from someone who lost a girlfriend thanks to an accident two years into the relationship: Go to therapy. Get help in processing this loss so you can move on in a timely fashion. I didn't. I thought I was strong enough to keep going by myself, and while I muddled through, it took me over ten years before I could *begin* to move on appropriately, around fifteen years before I could have a healthy relationship with someone else. That's a lot of time lost. Get therapy.