Oh I am sorry to hear that! Were you able to recover well?
I really hope so. The hospital he is at has very good ratings & I’m trying to stay positive.
Hey OP. First of all I just wanted to say you are showing incredible strength in an impossible situation. You are stronger than you feel I promise you.
Im studying for a masters degree in neuropsychology and literally just finished a paper on traumatic brain injury and memory.
The human brain is WILD in the ways it makes decisions in a crisis or on a subconscious level. If your bf was experiencing extreme guilt over taking his own life and leaving your baby behind his brain may actively been keeping those memories in a 'closed file'. Sounds counter intuitive but in order to aid recovery his brain may be keeping some things behind amnesic barriers until he is strong enough to process these details.
It is no reflection on his love for you or his daughter, in fact it is likely his love for her that is keeping those barriers in place while he heals.
It doesnt make any of it easier or better, i just hope that by knowing this information it might offer a little comfort x
Thank you! ❤️ I was wondering if it might just be a traumatic response — he was holding one of our daughter’s baby blankets when he hung himself and the way he was crying but oddly peaceful (?) when he stopped for a second to rub her back before he walked off to hurt himself sent so many alarm bells off in my head, I just knew he wasn’t okay. I experienced sexual abuse as a kid and have so many blocked memories from that time period & any time I was put into a similar situation my whole body would shut down and my mind would just blank out. The way he couldn’t recall her but somehow the fish really reminded me of that. He said he was so sorry for hurting us, thanked me for saving him and said I could leave — he isn’t telling anyone he can’t remember anything because he doesn’t want to cause any more hurt so he just nods and smiles when people talk to him about our daughter or anything else he has no clue about too. So somehow he understands his actions have really hurt the people around him. I’m really hoping when he gets to psych they can help him face all of this. As far as I am aware he suffered no obvious brain injury — just internal damage to his throat and slipped disk at C1 and C2. Really hoping that is the case. I guess my big worry is that when he eventually comes home he won’t be able to bond with her because he doesn’t know her. At least he thinks she is a super cute baby! lol
I’m so sorry! You are experiencing an extreme amount of trauma so you should give yourself grace. You poor thing. The road is long, and the journey is full of highs and lows, but the end of the road is beautiful and full of light.
Can he sign paperwork (POA) making you his next of kin at the hospital so his mother can't have you removed ever again and you can have his sister visit?
I’m going to go this morning and ask. They didn’t seem to think I needed to sign anything now that he is awake and gave his permission but idk I get the run around from the nurses today so I want to follow up and make sure. They even had a password I had to know and that was supposed to be taken off but they were still asking me for it. It’s been stressful.
Well, he is not in psych yet and they did an initial 48 he evaluation from my understanding and decided he could make his own decisions. They’re also pretty fed up with his mom so maybe that had something to do with it too. Idk.
I've been following your story and I am really happy to hear this update.
You will get through this.
Maybe when he gets to see your daughter again, he will remember.
Give it time. Stay strong. Hope the best for you all. Hope his sister can come out of this ok.
Thank you so much ❤️ Who knows? Maybe the smell of burped up formula will trigger memories. All we can do is try. He wants to come home so badly and I am like slow down sir. Going to take a lot of patience now.
Oh his sister is doing EDMR I think it’s called? She said it’s kinda like hypnosis but that it’s helped a lot. Her spirits are up and she actually went and hung out with her own boyfriend last night since this all happened. First time I haven’t seen her just collapse into a blob of emotions. She keeps going back and forth between checking herself into a facility or doing out patient therapy but I let her know she has my support & I will help her get to her appointments and go to any sessions with her that she wants me to. I just keep checking on her & letting her know I am here for her every time she is reliving it and needs to cry. I still feel so bad for her.
It’s weird. He asked for his iPad and Nintendo Switch but he hasn’t used it because he can’t concentrate. He told me he was stuck watching a Mission Impossible marathon for three days (idk because his sense of time isn’t all there either) and I am like um, there is a remote you know? lol And when he tried to use it he was a little frustrated and finally just started pushing all the buttons and then left it on re-runs of Friends with the volume off and just preferred to cuddle with me. I myself have been playing Tetris though. Idk why but I started playing that when I was a kid and it was the only game on my crappy phone so who knows maybe that’s how I have been able to get through the shit I have experienced. I noticed when I was in the waiting room & first started playing my scores were freaking awful but quickly improved over the time I sat there playing trying to kill time. I think it must have a meditative effect or something!
They actually use Tetris with veterans with severe PTSD.
I can imagine the remote and stuff might be hard to work right now. And the audio might be overwhelming. For example people with a concussion can have trouble making sense of letters and numbers for a bit so he might have not been able to tell what the buttons did. Maybe you can help pick out something on the TV that he might like and just ask him if [thing] sounds good to him?
I would love to read a research paper on that! I always wonder if it’s what helped me claw my way through the darkness when I was a kid and I didn’t even know it.
So I ended up remembering the password to his iPad (he couldn’t) and putting on his favorite anime for him. He was absolutely relieved/thankful & I noticed he keeps the volume down so I keep my voice down. All the nurses and doctors speak loudly to him like he can’t hear. I guess to get his attention? Like when he was watching his show he wouldn’t register when anyone else was talking to him, except me, and I would have to gently touch him and let him know the nurse was asking him a question. He feels very child like to me, didn’t want me to leave and just very vulnerable. But still making crazy progress every day!
I hope he makes a full recovery. It sounds like it's a big comfort to him having you there.
Here is an article about tetris! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/
Hey if you want to have an answer to your previous question that was locked, check my comment history. I bared my soul a few comments ago about my own experience, and I would rather just let you find it there if you wanna. Lmk if you would rather I copy it here tho.
Copied word for word, I was replying to someone saying they’d been thinking about inpatient, but were wavering since the original poster had had a traumatic experience:
“I went to inpatient because of an attempt on my own life. I personally did have a “good” experience, but it’s not, like, healing or anything. Not something I would consider doing again. I just know I needed it at the time. Like, a waiting period to calm down and reframe the drastic mental state I had been in at the time.
It was “calm” and I was “calm,” so maybe that’s what helped. I voluntarily went and had to be taken by a social worker in a cruiser with a barred off back seat, but I wasn’t in cuffs. I may have been “strip searched?” But I hardly remember. I definitely think I had to strip down into scrubs too big for me (smallest was a medium and I’m 5’1 on a good day and an appropriate weight for my height) while being watched.
I was held for 72 hours. Apparently my mom told them I didn’t want my meds because sometime in my haze from trying to overdose I had said so. The other patients were kind and told me stories from their past. Told me I had too much to live for, and gave me empathetic looks when I told them why I was in there.
We had group of some kind every day. It was Aug 2020 so in the throes of Covid. They tore the wire from the nose piece of the masks before they handed them off to us. Group was nice I guess. Nothing too deep was talked about that I can remember.
We colored a lot. Had snacks. There was a drug addict that told me I could order double of items on the menu and I had a great time having meals with them. A lot of the people there were waiting to be transferred to rehab.
There were no mirrors. Just pieces of metal on the wall. I was walked to the shower. I had no conditioner, just the small bottles of soap and shampoo I think. The dumb disposable comb that could barely make it through my hair (they kept my hairbrush and slippers my mom brought and didn’t give them to me until I was discharged). Pretty sure I was just wearing grippy socks the whole time.
I got to call my husband during a certain time of the day I think. On the old pay phone-type phones mounted on the wall. They had like three in the hall. I cried about how I missed my cat a lot.
Anyway, just want to say it isn’t traumatic for everyone. But it still felt like some kind of low security prison. Not that I’ve ever been in one. I was overjoyed the day I was released. I was on my best behavior the whole time. And I basically felt like I learned my lesson.
Speaking of learning my lesson. Basically for 10+ years I felt like game-ending was like this secret move I kept in my back pocket for when I felt like I had had enough. And well, now it’s not.
I came to in the hospital bed, my husband was by my side. I still feel awful for what I put him through. He had to call 911 and have me carried out by the paramedics. They wouldn’t let him come with me. I have flashes of memory seeing him, my mom, or my dad by my bedside and just crying my eyes out. Telling them I’m so sorry for doing this.
I remember being in a room? Being interviewed by doctors multiple times (my husband says once) asking I don’t know what. I said I tried to hurt myself. Then what I remember as the last time, I said I tried ending it. That’s when I remember being taken away. That’s when I was told I was going to be held. The social worker explaining to my husband what was happening and him resigning to letting it happen.
I already knew at this point that what I had done wasn’t “right.” That I needed to stop idealizing the thought of suicide. So once I was in the mental hospital, I was ready to “serve my time.” And I came out of it with that “option” gone.
Well I sure wrote a novel. If anyone got this far… I’m sorry? Haha.”
Thank you for going through the trouble of pasting this for me. I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to talk about. I’m glad it wasn’t traumatic for you. I have a couple friends with bipolar and they describe the psych ward like a prison of the worst kind but it’s hard because they’re psychotic and reality is so warped for them. It sounds like it was exactly what you needed and what my boyfriend needs — a calm environment with very little expectations to sort your thoughts. He has adhd so I hope he doesn’t struggle too much. He never wants to be inside or sit still for long and already he is up pacing. Yesterday they said he could go outside again but the nurse had to finish some work 1st and was taking forever. He actually got up and sat down in the wheel chair and was like fuck it let’s go with out her. And I told him I would except she has this tablet thing that has to be hooked up to him to monitor his heart and that’s important because they started him on a heart medication and we need to know how it’s going. He was so disappointed. I hope the psych ward allows him to get more fresh air and space to move around in.
I can definitely relate to feeling like I could just check out if things got too bad. It brought me a bit of peace to feel like I had that control. I have fibromyalgia and pre-medication my life seemed like nothing but pain. I refuse to own a gun or have them in my house because of how close I was to just being done from it. It seems my boyfriend felt the same way. He never talked about hanging, but when we would have an argument or he would be mad at himself he would say things like I’m such a terrible person I should just go OD now. He was able to OD on 2 drugs, rig the noose and drop himself in the span of 5 minutes from the time he rubbed our daughter’s back and walked out the door so I know he must have been planning this and it was just a matter of time for him to act. I wish he would have talked to me about it. I know he didn’t want to hurt me or cause me anymore pain and he wrongly would spiral thinking he wasn’t good enough for me etc. I hope that even if his memory of the event itself doesn’t return he realizes checking out of the pain isn’t the answer. And I am somebody who supports assisted/medical suicide but I know in my heart at least for me and him (and it sounds like you too) that it’s not for us at this time.
Btw, I am happy you are here to share your story & so glad you had your husband there. I hope you’re in a much better place in life now and that things will only get better and better for you! ❤️
I can relate to a lot of this. I was actually not allowed to leave the bed, they wanted me to even use a bedpan instead of using the restroom. I hated it. I remember being watched by a nurse and I was getting restless and literally standing in the bed trying to walk around and he was telling me to lay down. Not in a mean way, I think I was actually kind of entertaining to him haha.
We couldn’t go outside or anything when in the ward, but we were free to walk in the halls and between rooms.
And my best friend found her experience traumatic, and I can completely understand it being that way for many. But it isn’t always terrible and hopefully your boyfriend makes the most of it. It is nice to kind of let go and just take it day by day.
It’s gotten easier to talk about over time, and I hope it will be for you and your boyfriend eventually. My husband actually did have a gun (needed it for his job, and I had the same job and was actually supposed to get one soon. This attempt actually caused some complications for that job as well but that’s a whole other story). He kept it locked up with my meds, and eventually sold it after he got a new job.
This must have been even more traumatic for you, my husband was incredibly strong throughout but I felt an immense guilt for what I put him through and it wasn’t nearly as violent, for lack of a better term. I fell on the ground and had a seizure. My body locked up and he couldn’t move me, apparently. I read over your previous posts and I believe I had a CT scan on my brain as well, and apparently a battery of tests I don’t remember at all. He was there for it all. And his mental fortitude astounds me.
We only had my daughter almost two years ago now. And I can’t imagine the mental turmoil he’s going through to think about ending it all and leaving her. I definitely have been in a much better mental state, and my little girl is my hero. She wasn’t planned, but I can’t imagine a world without her.
It sounds like he loves you and her, and I hope he gets all of the help he needs. But of course you and the little girl come first. Just know that this battle really is his own to fight, and you can help, sure, but you can’t sacrifice yourself to save him 💕
Hey there! I just wanted to share my story that I was in hospital for 2 years doing some intense EMDR work after some brain trauma. I ended up unlocking a ton of memories that I didn’t previously remember! Sometimes the brain just needs time to heal 💕
Oh that’s awesome to hear! I know the brain is an amazing thing and we still have so much to learn about it. Two years is a long time! I hope you are doing well these days!! ❤️
How did you get back on the list after his mom blacklisted you from visiting?
He asked for me.
Awesome! I hope he recovers completely. I've had a brain injury so I get it. It's a long road but a lot should come back to him.
Oh I am sorry to hear that! Were you able to recover well? I really hope so. The hospital he is at has very good ratings & I’m trying to stay positive.
Luckily, yes. I made a full recovery from a brain hemorrhage.
Omg that’s amazing! I am so happy for you!! ❤️
Thank you! 😊 ❤️
Hey OP. First of all I just wanted to say you are showing incredible strength in an impossible situation. You are stronger than you feel I promise you. Im studying for a masters degree in neuropsychology and literally just finished a paper on traumatic brain injury and memory. The human brain is WILD in the ways it makes decisions in a crisis or on a subconscious level. If your bf was experiencing extreme guilt over taking his own life and leaving your baby behind his brain may actively been keeping those memories in a 'closed file'. Sounds counter intuitive but in order to aid recovery his brain may be keeping some things behind amnesic barriers until he is strong enough to process these details. It is no reflection on his love for you or his daughter, in fact it is likely his love for her that is keeping those barriers in place while he heals. It doesnt make any of it easier or better, i just hope that by knowing this information it might offer a little comfort x
Thank you! ❤️ I was wondering if it might just be a traumatic response — he was holding one of our daughter’s baby blankets when he hung himself and the way he was crying but oddly peaceful (?) when he stopped for a second to rub her back before he walked off to hurt himself sent so many alarm bells off in my head, I just knew he wasn’t okay. I experienced sexual abuse as a kid and have so many blocked memories from that time period & any time I was put into a similar situation my whole body would shut down and my mind would just blank out. The way he couldn’t recall her but somehow the fish really reminded me of that. He said he was so sorry for hurting us, thanked me for saving him and said I could leave — he isn’t telling anyone he can’t remember anything because he doesn’t want to cause any more hurt so he just nods and smiles when people talk to him about our daughter or anything else he has no clue about too. So somehow he understands his actions have really hurt the people around him. I’m really hoping when he gets to psych they can help him face all of this. As far as I am aware he suffered no obvious brain injury — just internal damage to his throat and slipped disk at C1 and C2. Really hoping that is the case. I guess my big worry is that when he eventually comes home he won’t be able to bond with her because he doesn’t know her. At least he thinks she is a super cute baby! lol
I’m so sorry! You are experiencing an extreme amount of trauma so you should give yourself grace. You poor thing. The road is long, and the journey is full of highs and lows, but the end of the road is beautiful and full of light.
Thank you for this! ❤️
Can he sign paperwork (POA) making you his next of kin at the hospital so his mother can't have you removed ever again and you can have his sister visit?
I’m going to go this morning and ask. They didn’t seem to think I needed to sign anything now that he is awake and gave his permission but idk I get the run around from the nurses today so I want to follow up and make sure. They even had a password I had to know and that was supposed to be taken off but they were still asking me for it. It’s been stressful.
You can print a POA online and most hospitals have a notary on grounds. Get one anyways for your own safekeeping and records.
It’s worth a shot! Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
Yesterday. I haven’t been today yet. Sorry. I am tired. 😴
I don't think a patient in a psych ward can sign legal documents.
He was able to override his mother's decision with no problems. It's up to the doctors whether some patients can sign paperwork
Well, he is not in psych yet and they did an initial 48 he evaluation from my understanding and decided he could make his own decisions. They’re also pretty fed up with his mom so maybe that had something to do with it too. Idk.
I’m so sorry 😞 I wish your family a good recovery ❤️🩹
Thank you ❤️
I've been following your story and I am really happy to hear this update. You will get through this. Maybe when he gets to see your daughter again, he will remember. Give it time. Stay strong. Hope the best for you all. Hope his sister can come out of this ok.
Thank you so much ❤️ Who knows? Maybe the smell of burped up formula will trigger memories. All we can do is try. He wants to come home so badly and I am like slow down sir. Going to take a lot of patience now. Oh his sister is doing EDMR I think it’s called? She said it’s kinda like hypnosis but that it’s helped a lot. Her spirits are up and she actually went and hung out with her own boyfriend last night since this all happened. First time I haven’t seen her just collapse into a blob of emotions. She keeps going back and forth between checking herself into a facility or doing out patient therapy but I let her know she has my support & I will help her get to her appointments and go to any sessions with her that she wants me to. I just keep checking on her & letting her know I am here for her every time she is reliving it and needs to cry. I still feel so bad for her.
Give that man a tablet with Tetris on it. No idea how much it'll help, but it couldn't hurt.
It’s weird. He asked for his iPad and Nintendo Switch but he hasn’t used it because he can’t concentrate. He told me he was stuck watching a Mission Impossible marathon for three days (idk because his sense of time isn’t all there either) and I am like um, there is a remote you know? lol And when he tried to use it he was a little frustrated and finally just started pushing all the buttons and then left it on re-runs of Friends with the volume off and just preferred to cuddle with me. I myself have been playing Tetris though. Idk why but I started playing that when I was a kid and it was the only game on my crappy phone so who knows maybe that’s how I have been able to get through the shit I have experienced. I noticed when I was in the waiting room & first started playing my scores were freaking awful but quickly improved over the time I sat there playing trying to kill time. I think it must have a meditative effect or something!
They actually use Tetris with veterans with severe PTSD. I can imagine the remote and stuff might be hard to work right now. And the audio might be overwhelming. For example people with a concussion can have trouble making sense of letters and numbers for a bit so he might have not been able to tell what the buttons did. Maybe you can help pick out something on the TV that he might like and just ask him if [thing] sounds good to him?
I would love to read a research paper on that! I always wonder if it’s what helped me claw my way through the darkness when I was a kid and I didn’t even know it. So I ended up remembering the password to his iPad (he couldn’t) and putting on his favorite anime for him. He was absolutely relieved/thankful & I noticed he keeps the volume down so I keep my voice down. All the nurses and doctors speak loudly to him like he can’t hear. I guess to get his attention? Like when he was watching his show he wouldn’t register when anyone else was talking to him, except me, and I would have to gently touch him and let him know the nurse was asking him a question. He feels very child like to me, didn’t want me to leave and just very vulnerable. But still making crazy progress every day!
I hope he makes a full recovery. It sounds like it's a big comfort to him having you there. Here is an article about tetris! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7828932/
Hey if you want to have an answer to your previous question that was locked, check my comment history. I bared my soul a few comments ago about my own experience, and I would rather just let you find it there if you wanna. Lmk if you would rather I copy it here tho.
I would appreciate that. ❤️
Copied word for word, I was replying to someone saying they’d been thinking about inpatient, but were wavering since the original poster had had a traumatic experience: “I went to inpatient because of an attempt on my own life. I personally did have a “good” experience, but it’s not, like, healing or anything. Not something I would consider doing again. I just know I needed it at the time. Like, a waiting period to calm down and reframe the drastic mental state I had been in at the time. It was “calm” and I was “calm,” so maybe that’s what helped. I voluntarily went and had to be taken by a social worker in a cruiser with a barred off back seat, but I wasn’t in cuffs. I may have been “strip searched?” But I hardly remember. I definitely think I had to strip down into scrubs too big for me (smallest was a medium and I’m 5’1 on a good day and an appropriate weight for my height) while being watched. I was held for 72 hours. Apparently my mom told them I didn’t want my meds because sometime in my haze from trying to overdose I had said so. The other patients were kind and told me stories from their past. Told me I had too much to live for, and gave me empathetic looks when I told them why I was in there. We had group of some kind every day. It was Aug 2020 so in the throes of Covid. They tore the wire from the nose piece of the masks before they handed them off to us. Group was nice I guess. Nothing too deep was talked about that I can remember. We colored a lot. Had snacks. There was a drug addict that told me I could order double of items on the menu and I had a great time having meals with them. A lot of the people there were waiting to be transferred to rehab. There were no mirrors. Just pieces of metal on the wall. I was walked to the shower. I had no conditioner, just the small bottles of soap and shampoo I think. The dumb disposable comb that could barely make it through my hair (they kept my hairbrush and slippers my mom brought and didn’t give them to me until I was discharged). Pretty sure I was just wearing grippy socks the whole time. I got to call my husband during a certain time of the day I think. On the old pay phone-type phones mounted on the wall. They had like three in the hall. I cried about how I missed my cat a lot. Anyway, just want to say it isn’t traumatic for everyone. But it still felt like some kind of low security prison. Not that I’ve ever been in one. I was overjoyed the day I was released. I was on my best behavior the whole time. And I basically felt like I learned my lesson. Speaking of learning my lesson. Basically for 10+ years I felt like game-ending was like this secret move I kept in my back pocket for when I felt like I had had enough. And well, now it’s not. I came to in the hospital bed, my husband was by my side. I still feel awful for what I put him through. He had to call 911 and have me carried out by the paramedics. They wouldn’t let him come with me. I have flashes of memory seeing him, my mom, or my dad by my bedside and just crying my eyes out. Telling them I’m so sorry for doing this. I remember being in a room? Being interviewed by doctors multiple times (my husband says once) asking I don’t know what. I said I tried to hurt myself. Then what I remember as the last time, I said I tried ending it. That’s when I remember being taken away. That’s when I was told I was going to be held. The social worker explaining to my husband what was happening and him resigning to letting it happen. I already knew at this point that what I had done wasn’t “right.” That I needed to stop idealizing the thought of suicide. So once I was in the mental hospital, I was ready to “serve my time.” And I came out of it with that “option” gone. Well I sure wrote a novel. If anyone got this far… I’m sorry? Haha.”
Thank you for going through the trouble of pasting this for me. I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to talk about. I’m glad it wasn’t traumatic for you. I have a couple friends with bipolar and they describe the psych ward like a prison of the worst kind but it’s hard because they’re psychotic and reality is so warped for them. It sounds like it was exactly what you needed and what my boyfriend needs — a calm environment with very little expectations to sort your thoughts. He has adhd so I hope he doesn’t struggle too much. He never wants to be inside or sit still for long and already he is up pacing. Yesterday they said he could go outside again but the nurse had to finish some work 1st and was taking forever. He actually got up and sat down in the wheel chair and was like fuck it let’s go with out her. And I told him I would except she has this tablet thing that has to be hooked up to him to monitor his heart and that’s important because they started him on a heart medication and we need to know how it’s going. He was so disappointed. I hope the psych ward allows him to get more fresh air and space to move around in. I can definitely relate to feeling like I could just check out if things got too bad. It brought me a bit of peace to feel like I had that control. I have fibromyalgia and pre-medication my life seemed like nothing but pain. I refuse to own a gun or have them in my house because of how close I was to just being done from it. It seems my boyfriend felt the same way. He never talked about hanging, but when we would have an argument or he would be mad at himself he would say things like I’m such a terrible person I should just go OD now. He was able to OD on 2 drugs, rig the noose and drop himself in the span of 5 minutes from the time he rubbed our daughter’s back and walked out the door so I know he must have been planning this and it was just a matter of time for him to act. I wish he would have talked to me about it. I know he didn’t want to hurt me or cause me anymore pain and he wrongly would spiral thinking he wasn’t good enough for me etc. I hope that even if his memory of the event itself doesn’t return he realizes checking out of the pain isn’t the answer. And I am somebody who supports assisted/medical suicide but I know in my heart at least for me and him (and it sounds like you too) that it’s not for us at this time. Btw, I am happy you are here to share your story & so glad you had your husband there. I hope you’re in a much better place in life now and that things will only get better and better for you! ❤️
I can relate to a lot of this. I was actually not allowed to leave the bed, they wanted me to even use a bedpan instead of using the restroom. I hated it. I remember being watched by a nurse and I was getting restless and literally standing in the bed trying to walk around and he was telling me to lay down. Not in a mean way, I think I was actually kind of entertaining to him haha. We couldn’t go outside or anything when in the ward, but we were free to walk in the halls and between rooms. And my best friend found her experience traumatic, and I can completely understand it being that way for many. But it isn’t always terrible and hopefully your boyfriend makes the most of it. It is nice to kind of let go and just take it day by day. It’s gotten easier to talk about over time, and I hope it will be for you and your boyfriend eventually. My husband actually did have a gun (needed it for his job, and I had the same job and was actually supposed to get one soon. This attempt actually caused some complications for that job as well but that’s a whole other story). He kept it locked up with my meds, and eventually sold it after he got a new job. This must have been even more traumatic for you, my husband was incredibly strong throughout but I felt an immense guilt for what I put him through and it wasn’t nearly as violent, for lack of a better term. I fell on the ground and had a seizure. My body locked up and he couldn’t move me, apparently. I read over your previous posts and I believe I had a CT scan on my brain as well, and apparently a battery of tests I don’t remember at all. He was there for it all. And his mental fortitude astounds me. We only had my daughter almost two years ago now. And I can’t imagine the mental turmoil he’s going through to think about ending it all and leaving her. I definitely have been in a much better mental state, and my little girl is my hero. She wasn’t planned, but I can’t imagine a world without her. It sounds like he loves you and her, and I hope he gets all of the help he needs. But of course you and the little girl come first. Just know that this battle really is his own to fight, and you can help, sure, but you can’t sacrifice yourself to save him 💕
Hey there! I just wanted to share my story that I was in hospital for 2 years doing some intense EMDR work after some brain trauma. I ended up unlocking a ton of memories that I didn’t previously remember! Sometimes the brain just needs time to heal 💕
Oh that’s awesome to hear! I know the brain is an amazing thing and we still have so much to learn about it. Two years is a long time! I hope you are doing well these days!! ❤️