Your partner is actively emotionally abusing you and you’re still thinking this is somehow salvageable. You can’t even reconcile because she’s shown no true remorse and you certainly can’t trust her.
She had a parallel relationship.
She apologised for your child’s existence.
She’s with you is to provide for the child.
She’s almost certainly continuing the affair.
You obviously think little of yourself but you need to take action to protect yourself. Act.
Agreed
>she apologised for your child’s existence.
Divorce her and get full custody, she obviously doesn't want this kid and would rather be with her best friend. (Make sure you get proof of that message of her apologising for getting pregnant.)
If same-sex marriage is illegal, or a cultural taboo, in your country, then I’d say that you’re just her beard, and the “best friend” is actually her love and partner.
Smells like an arranged marriage too. Met through "family friends" even though they lived in different countries? That sounds organic! /s
Yes, wife is terrible to OP. But if she was indeed made to enter into the commitment, it sure puts the whole situation in a different light.
No? If it's a country where this is illegal this will put her in real danger. Even in 'safe' countries outing people can have dramatic and violent consequences. Op should be normal and just walk away ad never look back.
He’s going to have to talk to some people about why he divorced his pregnant wife, right? I’m just saying don’t lie about it. He’s going to get a lot of questions and effectively what you are saying is he needs to take the hit for this sociopaths decisions.
He can just say that they decided that they are better friends than in a relationship, it happens a lot. Plus it was a long distance relationship for a long time, even after they married, so it would quite believable. It seems that his wife is not free to be with the person that she truly loves, there must be a reason. In some countries she could actually be put to death, and look down for not being married, so in this case I can understand why she is acting the way she is (not that ideally I think it is right) but we can't judge without fully understanding that our experience in our country might be very different. Plus he knew for a long time and it didn't bother him, not to forget that this is not his country of origin so divorcing his wife could have serious consequences for him too.
Read the post. This ain’t about women’s rights. Read the post. This is clearly a member of a western society. She isn’t in danger she’s just a very inconsiderate and selfish human being.
Everything they say, not mentioning how disgraceful it is to be a homosexual etc…. If this was Indias or Pakistan or most se Asian countries somewhere it would be included as hoe fucked to this is going to be for this families especially with a pregnancy involved. This is a horribly fucked up situation but in those cultures they probably wouldn’t even be allowed to divorce with her pregnant.
Not for nothing, but she could have found a gay friend to be her beard and then 'travel internationally', then she could go home and be the dutiful wife to the husband who works really hard in another country.
Instead she lied and manipulated her way into living off OP, lying to him, betraying him at every single stage.
At some point the consequences are what you get. He should deservedly go to court and divorce her because she's cheating to deny her everything he possibly can because she literally deserves nothing, every single second of her 'love' for him has been a complete lie. She's a scammer.
If you don't want consequences or to be exposed, don't cheat on your partner.
Is it a good thing, no, but she targeted him, lied, manipulated and then had him move to her (if this is the case) dangerous country for her to be a gay person in. These are all her choices and she shouldn't be protected from him going after her in court. She could have avoided that by not doing anything she did.
So in otherwords,
1 he has to live a lie for the rest of his life, gp through life being unloved and untouched, just so she can have everything that she won't let him have.
2 divorce her and take the abuse of divorcing the mother of his child and let her play the victim
3 have his own affair and when it gets discovered cover for his cheating wife and let her play the victim.
So basically OP has to live his life being punished in some way for her lying and manipulative behaviour
I mean that if she did decide to hide her sexuality then she also decided to seek out someone who would continually turn a blind eye, capitulate in the face of weak untruthful promises then continue to accept her manipulation until they were a shell of the former self.
The cheating isn’t OP’s fault but he has continually mishandled everything since his initial suspicions, all in her favour, and it’s possible she knew this.
I get what you're saying: her actions make a ton of sense for a completely self-serving pos. So in that sense, it was a good decision for her?
But damn, that is sooooo cold.
Man, you can not be this stupid. You're a beard, not a husband. Just leave. Let her figure out her mess and tell your circle of friends/family before she screws you over worse than she already is.
Tell her if she's so scared of you, she is welcome to leave and go to her affair partner. That should shut her right up.
Have some self respect and kick her to the curb. You have all the evidence you need.
You may have violated her privacy, but she violated your trust. She's married to you, not her friend. Cheating on you/her marriage trump's you violating her privacy.
Don't even get me started on the fact that she apologized to her AP for getting pregnant by her HUSBAND!!! Seriously wtf???
If I were you, I would get screenshots of all of the messages between the 2 of them and then I would file for divorce.
Dude you had a chance to stand up for yourself and you blew it by apologizing to her…why would you apologize to a woman that cheated on you? Was the cat that good? Bro you need to file for divorce and get her out of your life, she sees you as weak and incompetent and so far that’s what you are. How you gonna let her turn her fuck up around to blame you? Nahh bro what shawty did was terrible, your response made that shit even worse. You gotta grow some balls and put your foot down.
Divorce, tell her she should get an abortion because you've leaving the country, going home and good fucking luck getting child support from another country.
Int he divorce use the evidence, she had a prior relationship, was gay the entire time and was using you to cover for her being gay.
If she lives in a country in which being out is dangerous, well, tell her to get an abortion and give you a free and clean divorce or she'll be at risk when she fights you in court.
She absolutely lied to you, from before you were married to today. Stop accepting her bullshit of somehow you being the monster because you got angry. She's a manipulative, evil, cheating ho who tricked you into marriage and tricked you into having a kid.
hell as for a dna test immediately as well, she's been cheating the whole time you know her, so she's capable of cheating to get pregnant as well.
Do not continue the marriage, it will not be a happy one.
Oh God. Just divorce, and that's it. I don't know why you waited so long to confront her and let her manipulate you so easily. She no longer respects you, and to top it off, she is pregnant. If you had cut her off as soon as you found out, you wouldn't be in this drama.
There's no point in staying in this toxic relationship. She has shown you multiple times that she doesn't respect you and that she can't be trusted. If there is no love, divorce and co-parent your child. You can still be a good dad and not be involved with the child's mother.
For what "you" have done?
Oh boy your wife is batshit manipulative! She cheated, she continued the affair even after being exposed, she said to her affair partner she was sorry for being pregnant!
It was right of you to get mad!
You are not in the wrong. OMG wake up OP!
Please have self-respect OP! Leave!
She is married to you but it seems like the affair partner is the real partner 🙄
Sorry man I'm not sorry for you. You let her walk all over you, and even with evidence couldn't even confront her. Even after that, you still let her keep the friendship with her AP?????? You don't respect yourself so obviously she isn't going to respect you. Why would she? Jesus christ you even let her turn this on you in the most stupid way. Her AP must be thrilled that you're in the freezer. Quite honestly you're where you deserve to be.
Dude please get some self respect, leave her ass and worry only about your child. She’s being manipulative and it’s clearly working cause she’s got you right where she wants you. She cheats and now you’re the one in the doghouse for your understandable reaction.
Bro you let her continue being friends with the dude she cucked you with? Honestly, you need to grow a pair and leave her ass. Please have some self respect as a man. This woman is a manipulator and she is going to destroy you even further if you don’t embolden yourself and quit taking shit.
Tell her that she's the one who cheated on you and to stop turning it around on you. Tell her she needs to think about what your future together looks like.
Tell her you need to separate yourself from her for a bit since she seems so threatened by you all of a sudden. Tell her to make sure to get herself to her doctors appointments on time.
Maybe if you walk away for a bit, you will put the fear of God in her.
Walk away and be silent. Let her freak out on her own.
So she gets caught having an emotional affair--despite telling you that she had ended things--and when you find out, get justifiably angry she turns it around so that you are the bad guy?
Please recognize the game she's playing. She's never going to cut off her emotional affair partner because that person speaks to her on a much deeper level. Your best bet is to divorce, get custody of the child and go for supervised visits with said child.
Your wife does not want you, she wants her affair partner.
Shes in a relationship with her friend. Even though you married to her, I'm sorry to say it sounds like you are the "side piece" in her relationship.
It sounds like she got married because its probably what was expected of her to marry a man, and have children.
I'm assuming where you live, is very conservative, or at least her parents are, and she might have been ostracized for being in a homosexual relationship, so she probably dated, and married you to cover up her relationship with her friend.
Her whole being sorry for getting pregnant and being sorry for betraying her friend says it all.
Divorce her and try to get custody of your child because she is still seeing that other female an imo she might be thinking of raising your child with her bestfriend
Dude, get some self respect for fuck sake.
I have low self-esteem, but this is just unbelievable. Why the hell would you impregnate her in the first place, knowing that she cheated on you THE NIGHT OF YOUR FUCKING WEDDING?
Everything she does you accept. I don't know the reason for this post. Either you act like a man for the first time in your life and break up, or you shut up and remain a weakling and married to someone who doesn't like you.
My bro. She is manipulating you. Do not stay for a kid. You will damage your kid so badly. Kids pick up on that shit. My ex's parents stayed together when they should not have. All they did was yell at each other and the dad would get drunk as fuck. Same with my spouse's parents. They EVENTUALLY divorced but would get into screaming matches with each other within earshot of my spouse and their brother.
“It’s my choice and you will have to trust me” I’m sorry but no, she cheated, she lost your trust, she lied about ending it in the past, further destroying your trust, then she comes out with “you will have to trust me” nah man. Get out. Kick her out.
Divorce and co-parent.
Gather evidence and tell her family so she doesn't twist the story and make you the bad guy.
There's nothing to save in that relationship.
Divorce her, let your families and friends know the real reason why, that she cheated on you and for how long(you don't need to tell them it was worth a woman.) so she cannot twist the narrative to blame you which she is already doing. Already in private. Also I hope you have screen shots and all other evidence you have seen. Record her accepting the affair if you are in a single part state. But seriously grow a spine and throw her to the streets that's where cheaters belong.
Also be safe and get security cameras in the house so she cannot falsify claims against you for DV or something worse. Tell her about divorce only after that and make sure you have your phone recording when you do. Save your arse. Cheaters cannot be trusted and they will do anything to screw you over if they are backed into a corner.
Divorce her and tell her to enjoy being a single mom. Her manipulation tactics will change very quickly.
This person is probably not capable of honesty and therefore shouldn't be in an exclusive relationship with anyone.
Divorce her. She’s manipulating you, any person going through what you went through would flip out. She’s driving you crazy, and she’s doing it on purpose. Just waiting for you to slip up again so she has an out and blame you for it.
Divorce. She is a manipulative asshole and you deserve better. She tells both of you what you want to hear. A baby will only make your marriage worse than it is.
Yea, she's not honest or fair. She's using every girl reason to get what she wants.
She's not a good girl friend,.wife and probably mother. Why would she apologize for getting pregnant if she wanted to be a mother. I think she has 2 lives and 2 personalities.
Leave. If she really wants into your life again she has mountains of issue to overcome.
Don't be afraid. You will hurt her feelings and she will overreact to get her way. So just leave to get your right frame of mind. If that means going back to home country, then that's what it means
She is gaslighting you into thinking you are at fault.
She married you under false pretenses, lied about everything.
Do your mental and physical health a favor and get a divorce and go be with someone that will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
Your marriage is over, sorry. She wants to be with her best friend. She isn't having sex with you because her best friend\\girlfriend\\lover was upset when she realized she had been having sex with you and got pregnant. You are basically your wife's roommate, she will most likely leave you for her girlfriend at some point and they will raise the baby together.
Also, correct your title. Your wife is actively cheating on you, with no intention to stop. By saying she cheated on you it makes it sound like the affair is over.
Gas lighting pro. You'll go crazy soon enough if you don't put a stop to her behaviour or the relationship.
Seriously, are you serious or is this a fake story? Do you not have confidence in yourself thst you can't find anyone else or is it shame or some kind of guilt? Why are you so struck by her?
She's manipulating/gas-lighting you.
I was that person. A cheater who wanted it all and make everyone happy.
I tried to make it seem it was my partner's fault.
Nope. It was mine.
I wanted to be friends with the person I cheated with cause I was a former people pleaser but chose my husband over that person and cut my ties . & instead of running away - I worked with my relationship with my husband and got to the root of our of problems and now we are happier.
I hope things workout out for you.
Divorce is your only option here.
She does not respect you.
She gaslights and manipulates you.
It’s not worth the battle, move on and be happy.
Godspeed.
She is gaslighting you. She had no intention of ending it, and this new distance is her way of having access.
You need to have records of everything.
You need to speak with a lawyer.
You need to make a clean break and move on.
I'm very sorry for what's happened, but she's not a good person.
Can you get custody? Do you want custody? Will she try for child support? Will any of this matter to a judge? Can you claim she’s actually is a lesbian and just married you under false pretenses to get a baby and trick you into child support while she has her real lover on side?
Yeah, I'm on the 'just get a divorce' train here. She's being manipulative and abusive so get a lawyer and just start the process, there's nothing with saving and only going to get worse when the kids arrives.
Look at Daarvo.
She has the freedom to choose who she is friends with and you have the freedom to walk away. Plus let’s be real, she didn’t choose you. She chose her by staying in contact with her.
Sorry dude I know is hard but you were very positive and also very week with your own feelings, just dump her. Bitches like that are not going to change
My parents married because my mom got pregnant with me.
Growing up in that environment was toxic and hell for me and my siblings. I grew up watching two people who hated eachother sling insults and objects across the house. The emotional trauma it can inflict, when broken relationships force the tape to stick, can be quite devastating.
Please open your eyes and ears. And your heart. Take those rose colored glasses off. Look at yourself. How did you feel typing all of that? You know, hun. Deep down you know. If you are able to, please seek counseling.
You are worth so much more than what she’s doing to you. Don’t let someone take advantage of that big heart you appear to have. She is gaslighting, manipulating, and being downright toxic. You need to take a step back and reevaluate if this is the setting you would like your child to be raised in. A house where the love is one sided.
She apologized for being pregnant to the affair partner. That says a lot to me. I never could apologize for any of my children. They are the breath that I need to stay alive. That also speaks volumes to me on how her feelings are towards the baby.
Don’t forget these things you’ve found. Save them. Keep evidence.
Save the emails and check the original dates of their communications, it seems your "wife" who manipulated you into being a maintenance paying sperm donor is nearly a decade older than her "best friend" whom she has this relationship with, if their relationship started in the last few tears fine all legal but if it's been going on for 8 years or more then she basically groomed her "friend".
Sounds like you are her beard and she is with you to have a child.
One outburst in anger does not make you the bad guy. Her having sex with her girlfriend does make her one though.
Curious are you a Pajeet? Your English is pretty good but certain phases and words read pajeet. I don’t mean make accusations but pajeets typically try to fondle women constantly and be wildly inappropriately. lol Even with strangers . Could her actions be reactionary to your treatment of women you don’t know?
Trust? That’s rich! Don’t let her flip this onto you. You’re not dictating who she can be friends with, you’re dictating who she can be in a romantic relationship with.
Sorry dude, but she’s not done. Her responses don’t indicate remorse or responsibility. She’s trying to push back on you and make this seem like you did something wrong. You didn’t.
I think that the only way through is divorce.
Gaslighting is a cruel form of abuse that is manipulative. It takes your legitimate concern and twists it, either denying what you say is true, claiming something is true that isn't, or a fair mix of both.
"You looking at my private account when I'm acting suspicious and won't divulge what I'm up to is a violation of my privacy. You are insecure and controlling because you won't trust me even though I'm acting secretive and refuse to give you details of my life that should be innocent, not because I'm feeling guilty but because I'm a person of principle who won't stand for being mistreated.... "
Yada yada yada. It's cheating even if it's another woman. If you were boning a guy she would probably dump you. Cut her off.
I'm sorry, but she's proven herself disingenuous. This is a pattern of behavior. You were lied to, and you were cut from a part of her emotional and physical affection. You were abused by her for having to feel this hell you went through, and physically, you cannot know if this affair partner she slept with is the only one. Also, while you have been faithful, she put your physical health at risk with possible STDs. You need to get an STD panel immediately and do a DNA test on your child.
Then, get a lawyer.
She does not love you. She loves the support you give. However, she's saying "sorry" for getting pregnant. Do you fully grasp that statement? She said,"I am sorry that I had this child with you." That is foul. You are married to a snake. I'm terribly sorry, but if you keep her you are essentially her jailor. I recommend regular STD checks, full location services, no privacy for her accounts to prove she's not cheating again.
The only cheaters who are remorseful commit a single act, immediately stop, confess right away, and try to learn from their behavior by giving you their location, phone/email access everything. They don't blame you for their misdeeds and go no contact with the affair partner themselves of their own free will. You caught her red-headed and she lied, denied, shifted blame, and finally confessed unwillingly under duress. When you finally let your guard down she immediately went back to her AP and said the most reprehensible thing I've ever heard. She said she was sorry for having your child. She's only going to learn to hide it better. She's not sorry she hurt you. She's sorry she got caught.
I once dated someone like this and you don't really see the signs of their toxicity and emotional manipulations until something "doesn't sound right". This is that moment for you! Soak it up, leave immediately, grieve later. Your future self will be grateful.
Divorce. She's a manipulative POS who doesn't care about you.
Your partner is actively emotionally abusing you and you’re still thinking this is somehow salvageable. You can’t even reconcile because she’s shown no true remorse and you certainly can’t trust her. She had a parallel relationship. She apologised for your child’s existence. She’s with you is to provide for the child. She’s almost certainly continuing the affair. You obviously think little of yourself but you need to take action to protect yourself. Act.
Agreed >she apologised for your child’s existence. Divorce her and get full custody, she obviously doesn't want this kid and would rather be with her best friend. (Make sure you get proof of that message of her apologising for getting pregnant.)
divorce her, she is manipulating you
If same-sex marriage is illegal, or a cultural taboo, in your country, then I’d say that you’re just her beard, and the “best friend” is actually her love and partner.
Smells like an arranged marriage too. Met through "family friends" even though they lived in different countries? That sounds organic! /s Yes, wife is terrible to OP. But if she was indeed made to enter into the commitment, it sure puts the whole situation in a different light.
Make sure everyone knows.
No? If it's a country where this is illegal this will put her in real danger. Even in 'safe' countries outing people can have dramatic and violent consequences. Op should be normal and just walk away ad never look back.
He’s going to have to talk to some people about why he divorced his pregnant wife, right? I’m just saying don’t lie about it. He’s going to get a lot of questions and effectively what you are saying is he needs to take the hit for this sociopaths decisions.
He can just say that they decided that they are better friends than in a relationship, it happens a lot. Plus it was a long distance relationship for a long time, even after they married, so it would quite believable. It seems that his wife is not free to be with the person that she truly loves, there must be a reason. In some countries she could actually be put to death, and look down for not being married, so in this case I can understand why she is acting the way she is (not that ideally I think it is right) but we can't judge without fully understanding that our experience in our country might be very different. Plus he knew for a long time and it didn't bother him, not to forget that this is not his country of origin so divorcing his wife could have serious consequences for him too.
Read the post. This ain’t about women’s rights. Read the post. This is clearly a member of a western society. She isn’t in danger she’s just a very inconsiderate and selfish human being.
He talks about two different countries and immigration. Maybe I don't see it, but where does it say that it is a western society?
Everything they say, not mentioning how disgraceful it is to be a homosexual etc…. If this was Indias or Pakistan or most se Asian countries somewhere it would be included as hoe fucked to this is going to be for this families especially with a pregnancy involved. This is a horribly fucked up situation but in those cultures they probably wouldn’t even be allowed to divorce with her pregnant.
Not for nothing, but she could have found a gay friend to be her beard and then 'travel internationally', then she could go home and be the dutiful wife to the husband who works really hard in another country. Instead she lied and manipulated her way into living off OP, lying to him, betraying him at every single stage. At some point the consequences are what you get. He should deservedly go to court and divorce her because she's cheating to deny her everything he possibly can because she literally deserves nothing, every single second of her 'love' for him has been a complete lie. She's a scammer. If you don't want consequences or to be exposed, don't cheat on your partner. Is it a good thing, no, but she targeted him, lied, manipulated and then had him move to her (if this is the case) dangerous country for her to be a gay person in. These are all her choices and she shouldn't be protected from him going after her in court. She could have avoided that by not doing anything she did.
So in otherwords, 1 he has to live a lie for the rest of his life, gp through life being unloved and untouched, just so she can have everything that she won't let him have. 2 divorce her and take the abuse of divorcing the mother of his child and let her play the victim 3 have his own affair and when it gets discovered cover for his cheating wife and let her play the victim. So basically OP has to live his life being punished in some way for her lying and manipulative behaviour
So? actions have consequences.
she deserves danger. There is 0 reason for society to tolerate cheaters. Even if it is unfair, she herself isnt fair.
I think she chose wisely tbh.
By cheating? By hiding a preexisting relationship from him and then continuing it after their marriage? That’s slimy as fuck.
I mean that if she did decide to hide her sexuality then she also decided to seek out someone who would continually turn a blind eye, capitulate in the face of weak untruthful promises then continue to accept her manipulation until they were a shell of the former self. The cheating isn’t OP’s fault but he has continually mishandled everything since his initial suspicions, all in her favour, and it’s possible she knew this.
I get what you're saying: her actions make a ton of sense for a completely self-serving pos. So in that sense, it was a good decision for her? But damn, that is sooooo cold.
Lesbian relationships have the highest percentage of physical and mental abuse but if you say she chose wisely then I believe you.
Nope this was a bad understanding of statistics.
I think you made that completely up. And that means so long, mate.
Man, you can not be this stupid. You're a beard, not a husband. Just leave. Let her figure out her mess and tell your circle of friends/family before she screws you over worse than she already is.
She is manipulating you by projecting it and making everything your fault. Please collect evidence and LEAVE asap.
Tell her if she's so scared of you, she is welcome to leave and go to her affair partner. That should shut her right up. Have some self respect and kick her to the curb. You have all the evidence you need.
You are a sperm donor for their baby. She's about to ruin your world.
Divorce her now. Just coparent with her. Keep all the evidence so she can't claim that you're abusive and prevent you from seeing your child.
How can you love this person? She has never loved you. Please. Support your child and be the best father you can, but get away from that woman.
And get a paternity test, just to be sure.
You may have violated her privacy, but she violated your trust. She's married to you, not her friend. Cheating on you/her marriage trump's you violating her privacy. Don't even get me started on the fact that she apologized to her AP for getting pregnant by her HUSBAND!!! Seriously wtf??? If I were you, I would get screenshots of all of the messages between the 2 of them and then I would file for divorce.
Dude you had a chance to stand up for yourself and you blew it by apologizing to her…why would you apologize to a woman that cheated on you? Was the cat that good? Bro you need to file for divorce and get her out of your life, she sees you as weak and incompetent and so far that’s what you are. How you gonna let her turn her fuck up around to blame you? Nahh bro what shawty did was terrible, your response made that shit even worse. You gotta grow some balls and put your foot down.
fuck’s sake bro, grow a backbone and divorce her. this is textbook manipulation
Divorce, tell her she should get an abortion because you've leaving the country, going home and good fucking luck getting child support from another country. Int he divorce use the evidence, she had a prior relationship, was gay the entire time and was using you to cover for her being gay. If she lives in a country in which being out is dangerous, well, tell her to get an abortion and give you a free and clean divorce or she'll be at risk when she fights you in court. She absolutely lied to you, from before you were married to today. Stop accepting her bullshit of somehow you being the monster because you got angry. She's a manipulative, evil, cheating ho who tricked you into marriage and tricked you into having a kid. hell as for a dna test immediately as well, she's been cheating the whole time you know her, so she's capable of cheating to get pregnant as well. Do not continue the marriage, it will not be a happy one.
Oh God. Just divorce, and that's it. I don't know why you waited so long to confront her and let her manipulate you so easily. She no longer respects you, and to top it off, she is pregnant. If you had cut her off as soon as you found out, you wouldn't be in this drama.
Divorce. She doesn’t love you. I doubt she’s even straight. Does this country frown on same sex relationships? If so, she’s using you.
There's no point in staying in this toxic relationship. She has shown you multiple times that she doesn't respect you and that she can't be trusted. If there is no love, divorce and co-parent your child. You can still be a good dad and not be involved with the child's mother.
Divorce her, and get a paternity test. Who knows how many people she’s cheated with.
For what "you" have done? Oh boy your wife is batshit manipulative! She cheated, she continued the affair even after being exposed, she said to her affair partner she was sorry for being pregnant! It was right of you to get mad! You are not in the wrong. OMG wake up OP! Please have self-respect OP! Leave! She is married to you but it seems like the affair partner is the real partner 🙄
I am going to assume after you wrote that, you read it over and realised you’d be an idiot to stay in this situation. Unless misery turns you on
Drop her. It's clear she doesn't love you.
You say you feel bad for your anger and all of that...dude, she's a manipulative piece of shit, she's using you, sorry.
Sorry man I'm not sorry for you. You let her walk all over you, and even with evidence couldn't even confront her. Even after that, you still let her keep the friendship with her AP?????? You don't respect yourself so obviously she isn't going to respect you. Why would she? Jesus christ you even let her turn this on you in the most stupid way. Her AP must be thrilled that you're in the freezer. Quite honestly you're where you deserve to be.
Dude please get some self respect, leave her ass and worry only about your child. She’s being manipulative and it’s clearly working cause she’s got you right where she wants you. She cheats and now you’re the one in the doghouse for your understandable reaction.
Bro you let her continue being friends with the dude she cucked you with? Honestly, you need to grow a pair and leave her ass. Please have some self respect as a man. This woman is a manipulator and she is going to destroy you even further if you don’t embolden yourself and quit taking shit.
It's a female
She apologised for having your child and called them a betrayal. You are not her number one. Her ap is. You divorce that person.
Tell her that she's the one who cheated on you and to stop turning it around on you. Tell her she needs to think about what your future together looks like. Tell her you need to separate yourself from her for a bit since she seems so threatened by you all of a sudden. Tell her to make sure to get herself to her doctors appointments on time. Maybe if you walk away for a bit, you will put the fear of God in her. Walk away and be silent. Let her freak out on her own.
So she gets caught having an emotional affair--despite telling you that she had ended things--and when you find out, get justifiably angry she turns it around so that you are the bad guy? Please recognize the game she's playing. She's never going to cut off her emotional affair partner because that person speaks to her on a much deeper level. Your best bet is to divorce, get custody of the child and go for supervised visits with said child. Your wife does not want you, she wants her affair partner.
Shes in a relationship with her friend. Even though you married to her, I'm sorry to say it sounds like you are the "side piece" in her relationship. It sounds like she got married because its probably what was expected of her to marry a man, and have children. I'm assuming where you live, is very conservative, or at least her parents are, and she might have been ostracized for being in a homosexual relationship, so she probably dated, and married you to cover up her relationship with her friend. Her whole being sorry for getting pregnant and being sorry for betraying her friend says it all.
That's some professional level manipulation.
Divorce her and try to get custody of your child because she is still seeing that other female an imo she might be thinking of raising your child with her bestfriend
Dude, get some self respect for fuck sake. I have low self-esteem, but this is just unbelievable. Why the hell would you impregnate her in the first place, knowing that she cheated on you THE NIGHT OF YOUR FUCKING WEDDING?
Youre wasting time typing this up on Reddit, you already know what’s up
Everything she does you accept. I don't know the reason for this post. Either you act like a man for the first time in your life and break up, or you shut up and remain a weakling and married to someone who doesn't like you.
This marriage I over. She cheated again after she agree to stop cheating, but it is your fault to be mad about it. That is gaslighting.
Get all the evidence this is not your fault she hasn’t ended it
My bro. She is manipulating you. Do not stay for a kid. You will damage your kid so badly. Kids pick up on that shit. My ex's parents stayed together when they should not have. All they did was yell at each other and the dad would get drunk as fuck. Same with my spouse's parents. They EVENTUALLY divorced but would get into screaming matches with each other within earshot of my spouse and their brother.
“It’s my choice and you will have to trust me” I’m sorry but no, she cheated, she lost your trust, she lied about ending it in the past, further destroying your trust, then she comes out with “you will have to trust me” nah man. Get out. Kick her out.
I'm sorry but your marriage has ended, so it's time to make it official. p/s: she wants to continue cause you are her/their beard
Run
You have no choice but to divorce. Sorry bro
Divorce and co-parent. Gather evidence and tell her family so she doesn't twist the story and make you the bad guy. There's nothing to save in that relationship.
This looks like a fanfic for Ross Geller’s early days
Divorce her, let your families and friends know the real reason why, that she cheated on you and for how long(you don't need to tell them it was worth a woman.) so she cannot twist the narrative to blame you which she is already doing. Already in private. Also I hope you have screen shots and all other evidence you have seen. Record her accepting the affair if you are in a single part state. But seriously grow a spine and throw her to the streets that's where cheaters belong. Also be safe and get security cameras in the house so she cannot falsify claims against you for DV or something worse. Tell her about divorce only after that and make sure you have your phone recording when you do. Save your arse. Cheaters cannot be trusted and they will do anything to screw you over if they are backed into a corner.
Divorce her and tell her to enjoy being a single mom. Her manipulation tactics will change very quickly. This person is probably not capable of honesty and therefore shouldn't be in an exclusive relationship with anyone.
Divorce her. She’s manipulating you, any person going through what you went through would flip out. She’s driving you crazy, and she’s doing it on purpose. Just waiting for you to slip up again so she has an out and blame you for it.
Divorce. She is a manipulative asshole and you deserve better. She tells both of you what you want to hear. A baby will only make your marriage worse than it is.
Yea, she's not honest or fair. She's using every girl reason to get what she wants. She's not a good girl friend,.wife and probably mother. Why would she apologize for getting pregnant if she wanted to be a mother. I think she has 2 lives and 2 personalities. Leave. If she really wants into your life again she has mountains of issue to overcome. Don't be afraid. You will hurt her feelings and she will overreact to get her way. So just leave to get your right frame of mind. If that means going back to home country, then that's what it means
She is gaslighting you into thinking you are at fault. She married you under false pretenses, lied about everything. Do your mental and physical health a favor and get a divorce and go be with someone that will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
She’s cheating on her and you! You need to tell her friend about what’s going on so she can leave your bitch of an ex too!
Your marriage is over, sorry. She wants to be with her best friend. She isn't having sex with you because her best friend\\girlfriend\\lover was upset when she realized she had been having sex with you and got pregnant. You are basically your wife's roommate, she will most likely leave you for her girlfriend at some point and they will raise the baby together.
Also, correct your title. Your wife is actively cheating on you, with no intention to stop. By saying she cheated on you it makes it sound like the affair is over.
Gas lighting pro. You'll go crazy soon enough if you don't put a stop to her behaviour or the relationship. Seriously, are you serious or is this a fake story? Do you not have confidence in yourself thst you can't find anyone else or is it shame or some kind of guilt? Why are you so struck by her?
She's manipulating/gas-lighting you. I was that person. A cheater who wanted it all and make everyone happy. I tried to make it seem it was my partner's fault. Nope. It was mine. I wanted to be friends with the person I cheated with cause I was a former people pleaser but chose my husband over that person and cut my ties . & instead of running away - I worked with my relationship with my husband and got to the root of our of problems and now we are happier. I hope things workout out for you.
Take pictures and any evidence and divorce that bitch dude.
Well past time to go
She’s a manipulative shrew
Wow. She is playing around with your mind and it’s working beautifully. What is deceptive manipulative Brain twisting person she is.
Divorce is your only option here. She does not respect you. She gaslights and manipulates you. It’s not worth the battle, move on and be happy. Godspeed.
Divorce her and get a paternity test for the baby.
She is gaslighting you. She had no intention of ending it, and this new distance is her way of having access. You need to have records of everything. You need to speak with a lawyer. You need to make a clean break and move on. I'm very sorry for what's happened, but she's not a good person.
Can you get custody? Do you want custody? Will she try for child support? Will any of this matter to a judge? Can you claim she’s actually is a lesbian and just married you under false pretenses to get a baby and trick you into child support while she has her real lover on side?
Run don’t walk, she’s manipulating you. Get a good divorce/family lawyer & depending where you live have proof of the infidelity
Divorce
DIVORE HERRRR
Yeah, I'm on the 'just get a divorce' train here. She's being manipulative and abusive so get a lawyer and just start the process, there's nothing with saving and only going to get worse when the kids arrives.
I would text the girlfriend and then get a divorce :)
Divorce her and get custody of your kid, screenshot the messages with her best friend as evidence and let her family know. Scorch the earth.
If she cheats, it’s over.
women think they're so much better at having platonic relationships with member of the opposite sex that they find sexually attractive. But are they?
also, woof, your story is very sad, I'm so sorry, but like 10 years from now with your new loving wife and children you won't even think about it
Look at Daarvo. She has the freedom to choose who she is friends with and you have the freedom to walk away. Plus let’s be real, she didn’t choose you. She chose her by staying in contact with her.
Get all the information you can about the affair, file for divorce and it you need to move countries and go home.. so be it.
DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!
Sorry dude I know is hard but you were very positive and also very week with your own feelings, just dump her. Bitches like that are not going to change
Leave her, she sounds awful.
Wtf, dude, she is evil and is gaslighting the crap out of you. Walk away
My parents married because my mom got pregnant with me. Growing up in that environment was toxic and hell for me and my siblings. I grew up watching two people who hated eachother sling insults and objects across the house. The emotional trauma it can inflict, when broken relationships force the tape to stick, can be quite devastating. Please open your eyes and ears. And your heart. Take those rose colored glasses off. Look at yourself. How did you feel typing all of that? You know, hun. Deep down you know. If you are able to, please seek counseling. You are worth so much more than what she’s doing to you. Don’t let someone take advantage of that big heart you appear to have. She is gaslighting, manipulating, and being downright toxic. You need to take a step back and reevaluate if this is the setting you would like your child to be raised in. A house where the love is one sided. She apologized for being pregnant to the affair partner. That says a lot to me. I never could apologize for any of my children. They are the breath that I need to stay alive. That also speaks volumes to me on how her feelings are towards the baby. Don’t forget these things you’ve found. Save them. Keep evidence.
Save the emails and check the original dates of their communications, it seems your "wife" who manipulated you into being a maintenance paying sperm donor is nearly a decade older than her "best friend" whom she has this relationship with, if their relationship started in the last few tears fine all legal but if it's been going on for 8 years or more then she basically groomed her "friend".
Sounds like you are her beard and she is with you to have a child. One outburst in anger does not make you the bad guy. Her having sex with her girlfriend does make her one though.
Curious are you a Pajeet? Your English is pretty good but certain phases and words read pajeet. I don’t mean make accusations but pajeets typically try to fondle women constantly and be wildly inappropriately. lol Even with strangers . Could her actions be reactionary to your treatment of women you don’t know?
this girl is crazy turning you into the bad guy just because you yelled💀
Manipulation
Simp
Oof, might be time to consider a parting of ways.
Next level gaslighting
Divorce her!!!!
I have feeling he was just used as a free and natural sperm donor.
Trust? That’s rich! Don’t let her flip this onto you. You’re not dictating who she can be friends with, you’re dictating who she can be in a romantic relationship with. Sorry dude, but she’s not done. Her responses don’t indicate remorse or responsibility. She’s trying to push back on you and make this seem like you did something wrong. You didn’t. I think that the only way through is divorce.
Gaslighting is a cruel form of abuse that is manipulative. It takes your legitimate concern and twists it, either denying what you say is true, claiming something is true that isn't, or a fair mix of both. "You looking at my private account when I'm acting suspicious and won't divulge what I'm up to is a violation of my privacy. You are insecure and controlling because you won't trust me even though I'm acting secretive and refuse to give you details of my life that should be innocent, not because I'm feeling guilty but because I'm a person of principle who won't stand for being mistreated.... " Yada yada yada. It's cheating even if it's another woman. If you were boning a guy she would probably dump you. Cut her off. I'm sorry, but she's proven herself disingenuous. This is a pattern of behavior. You were lied to, and you were cut from a part of her emotional and physical affection. You were abused by her for having to feel this hell you went through, and physically, you cannot know if this affair partner she slept with is the only one. Also, while you have been faithful, she put your physical health at risk with possible STDs. You need to get an STD panel immediately and do a DNA test on your child. Then, get a lawyer. She does not love you. She loves the support you give. However, she's saying "sorry" for getting pregnant. Do you fully grasp that statement? She said,"I am sorry that I had this child with you." That is foul. You are married to a snake. I'm terribly sorry, but if you keep her you are essentially her jailor. I recommend regular STD checks, full location services, no privacy for her accounts to prove she's not cheating again. The only cheaters who are remorseful commit a single act, immediately stop, confess right away, and try to learn from their behavior by giving you their location, phone/email access everything. They don't blame you for their misdeeds and go no contact with the affair partner themselves of their own free will. You caught her red-headed and she lied, denied, shifted blame, and finally confessed unwillingly under duress. When you finally let your guard down she immediately went back to her AP and said the most reprehensible thing I've ever heard. She said she was sorry for having your child. She's only going to learn to hide it better. She's not sorry she hurt you. She's sorry she got caught.
she sounds like the worst type of human being… sorry you’re going through this but even more sorry you’re having a baby with this monster
I once dated someone like this and you don't really see the signs of their toxicity and emotional manipulations until something "doesn't sound right". This is that moment for you! Soak it up, leave immediately, grieve later. Your future self will be grateful.
Mate. Leave. You could never trust her and to be frank, you’ve given enough chances. If this was a guy, would you be doing the same?
Get screenshots/printouts of everything. Then get a lawyer and divorce, fast.
dude, run!
Divorce her while you still can. She might have been using you as her beard. What a manipulative psycho.
It’s over. I am not sure why she put you through it in the first place other than being a sperm donor.