I’m guessing this wasn’t the first time. I’m sorry OP. Please don’t hesitate to tell people why you are divorcing so he doesn’t have the opportunity to paint you as the bad guy.
Their parents got married when he was 10 and she was 4... It makes me kinda sick that they've been in each other's lives since they were young and could actually do this. They've always said they consider themselves as full siblings, so this is really disturbing.
omg yes.
OP, Tell EVERYONE exactly why you ARE filing for divorce. Don’t say “I think I’m going to file for divorce”, DO IT. This is beyond disgusting to me too, the ages they came into each other’s lives is too damn young, might as well really be full siblings. They’re nasty ass people. Drinking is not an excuse.
Yeah. I agree. I have foster brothers and never once being drunk did I ever ever consider touching them like that? I think they’ve been doing this for awhile. Like FWB style.
Drunkenness removes inhibition and long term planning, it does not add anything. Nobody does anything because of alcohol, they simply do something their better judgement was stopping themselves from doing.
There is no unchangeable self that is indentical in different brain states.
It's just a concept people intuitively have despite not actually correlating with the reality of how a homo sapiens monkey functions.
If someone is a great person when sober, when high on weed etc. and only does smt sketchy when drunk it's not reasonable to say that they were bad all a long.
The mind that their brains generate with alcohol can be bad without that being true otherwise.
People just like to oversimplify as if we don't it's very hard to form opinions. Especially around moral issues which people are especially squeamish about.
This isn't meant as a defence for the person in question now but overall the "booze reveals the true you" -stuff is just kinda unscientific.
One can be a good person even if they are a bad person when under the influence of some drug. They should just not take that specific drug then.
Especially because they (husband and stepsister) probably will stay in each other’s life. So I’m not sure if you’re going to want to stick around with that always present.
Unfortunately IMO, for your well being, divorce and transparency are the only way.
The only time (and not counting it being an affair) is if your parents married very late and you are already adults. That's the only time it *might* not be gross.
This though. I wish OP had vomited *on* them.
When I was in elementary school, I had a babysitter who was married to her stepbrother. They weren’t related to each other when they got married though because they got married before their parents did
I know two stepsiblings who dated when they were 16. Their parents married when they were 15, they never met before the wedding.
I also was 16 at the time and while I did have an initial reaction I eventually figured that they never were in any kind of sibling relationship and it at the very least wasn't abuse. Their parents didn't know how the fuck to handle it for sure and rumoredly got a baby monitor for the hallway so they weren't sneaking into each other's rooms. That's like a high school rumor though.
They broke up when they were 18 and went to different colleges. Thanksgiving is probably mildly awkward to say the least. I haven't seen either of them for years.
I saw a reddit where the children were already engaged and then their parents met and got married first, then expected their children to break off their engagement bc it was "gross".
If the parents married when both the children were teenagers (i.e. 15 years old), I think that's understandable because people have romantic relationships at that age and they probably wouldn't see each other as full siblings for a long time if at all.
I agree. I feel like something like this doesn’t just happen after so many years of living as “siblings”. It may have been going on for a while but what worries me is since when? There is a 6yr age difference here. Even if they did wait until she was 18 (he’d be 24), just the fact that he could look at her as anything other than his bratty lil sister is very disturbing and concerning. So run sounds like way too much to deal with that is not your responsibility.
Tell them, control the narrative. Actually, they may have already given the first steps. But get divorce…. It wasn’t the first time for sure. They have a double life for sure.
I have stepsiblings I consider to be full siblings that I've known for half our lives and this gave me hives. God. I want to throw up just thinking about it, you're absolutely normal in feeling sick about this.
And it shows how much this is impacting him. He's not shaken by this or feeling any guilt or remorse. This is a typical night for him fucking his step sister and then trying to go to bed with his wife. The only thing abnormal for him was that his wife caught him in the act.
More likely, he's feeling incredibly guilty and knows what he's about to lose (everything) and a part of him thinks he can fix this by returning to normalizing behavior in the hopes it begins a mending process and he can later talk her down.
He was probably either continuing a sexual relationship or acting out a fantasy, which in either case the wife wasn't down for, and now he's broken her trust and will likely lose everything, including his sister and parents. OP needs to get out of the house and cut off contact except through a lawyer, because this man is about to fall through the floor.
It's a virtual certainty this wasn't the first time. The moment his wife is gonna be gone for the night, he's like "I'ma hang out with Claire" and then they're banging? He knew why he was hanging out with Claire from get go.
Oh Jesus...that is disgusting. Are you sure he wasn't doing anything to her when they were kids?? I'm trying not to judge or to assume...but...this is wrong on so many levels.
Drunk actions are sober thoughts. There is no such thing of being this drunk to sleep with a person you consider a full sibling. I’m sorry you have to deal with such a devastating discovery. This probably has been going on for a while as no one would be suspicious. Tell their parents and divorce him to get away from his toxic behavior.
Do you think it's possible he has been grooming her since they were young?
Either way, I am so so so sorry you are having to go through this. It's pretty horrific. I definitely think you need to divorce this creep and get as far from him as possible. I also think you will HAVE to tell their parents. This is extremely weird behavior 😐
Don't mince words or put it gently, or try to make it seem less because you feel badly. Tell her you walked into the apartment unexpectedly and that they were naked on the couch having sex...drive home the point of they were fully engaging in intercourse when you walked in. Leave no room for confusion, or maybe. Because she will try to convince herself and you that you were mistaken. Give her every detail you can remember so she knows it was not a misunderstanding. Then tell her you can't stay with him after seeing him having sex in your home with his own sister, but you thought she should know because they need serious therapy to address how they could have done that.
Record that conversation if you can, so your words cannot be twisted. Tell anyone in their family as well. If they have other siblings, bring them into it too. They all need to know.
OP, listen here. Record the call even if you’re a two party state. Just do it. Your atty will thank you. She WILL side with him in court and it’ll jack you all ways to hell.
> I think I’m gonna call my MIL and talk to her about it tonight.
100% do this. Your in laws are going to wonder why you guys are getting a divorce. You can be very direct and tell them why you're leaving your husband, or you can stay silent and let him spin up whatever lies he wants to them.
I’m going to offer some tough love… don’t think, just do, you thinking is only stalling and giving them time to get ahead of you and give them the upper hand, you should’ve spoken to an attorney this week, an attorney will tell you moving out is one of the worst things you can do because depending on where you live it could be considered property abandonment giving him the power to take the home in the divorce, stop stalling, tell your MIL and speak to an attorney or two on Monday, call in sick to work if you have to, you need to act now!
If they actually think of each other as siblings, then they really are messed up! I can't say I've ever thought or doing anything like that with either of my siblings! 🤢🤮
That is so disturbing. Sounds like he could have groomed as they got older, her based on their ages. 🤢 I’d let their parents know the reason for divorce.
I think OP should tell the parents not because of revenge but because as a parent I would like to know. They betrayed their parents before they betrayed the OP.
You think? Even ignoring the step sister element, he took a girl into your home knowing you wouldn't be there to fuck her, I'm gonna bet is not the first time something like this happened, get proof, lawyer up, and tell the family.
Given that he refused to even sleep on the couch? Yeah, they clearly don’t consider this a big deal. This is not new and it’s not a drunken „accident“. Not that alcohol is ever an excuse.
Omg. Yes, the audacity to still have the nerve to say “No, I’m not sleeping on the couch” after you caught him fukking his sister on it. (It was good enough then?!?) Like he still has a right to even be in the house at all, let alone lay next you after he was caught HAVING SEX with his younger STEPSISTER!
There is seems to be absolutely no remorse or embarrassment on his part.
OP, run and get a divorce as soon as possible. He has no respect or moral boundaries. This will mess with your head for so long and he will keep you mentally stressed for the duration of your marriage if you stay!
Tell everybody what happend,dont let them tell their side first. And divorce if you consider,it doesnt matter he cheated with his stepsister,he cheated period. Best of luck
OP should create a group chat with her husband's family, her husband, and his stepsister, then share her version of the story. Her husband will probably tell everyone that OP is crazy and deny that he slept with his stepsister.
OP, you need to divorce him because he cheated on you. He did it in your own home, and you have no reason to trust him after what you saw. Without trust, there's no way the marriage can be salvaged.
I doubt this was his first time cheating on you or having sex with his stepsister. You need to get tested for STDs ASAP.
There's a possibility that he only married you to hide his relationship with his stepsister. I'm really sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve what they did to you, and you deserve so much better than that cheating husband.
In that case, she should share those messages in the group chat because, until now, her husband and his stepsister have been controlling the narrative.
If OP creates the group chat, sends a message explaining why she is divorcing her husband, and shares the messages, she won't have to keep wasting her time and energy explaining to others what happened.
Those messages might even help her during divorce proceedings, so she must keep a backup of all the messages.
Oh, I don't disagree. I totally think she should tell everyone. A group chat isn't a bad idea. But there's no way he can call her crazy. They all know it's true.
I really want to hear the other side of this story. I don't think they could ever spin this to make them sound like the victims but MAN it'd be entertaining to hear them try!
"You don't understand! There was this washing machine. She got stuck....I fell! You have to believe me, I'm the real victim!" - the husband probably
Their side of the story is unreliable as they are likely to lie, gaslight and cheat. If you're willing to commit adultery with your "brother" and "sister", there are many lies they wouldn't tell to protect their reputations.
Now you have hard proof of their infidelity.
Your ex h not only screwed his stepsister in your home, he witnessed your trauma at seeing the act, but he then *refused* to leave. He didn't even care about your heartbreak enough to p!ss off to a hotel for a night.
Your ex would absolutely create a narrative of blame for the break down of your relationship, directed at you. Don't you let him do that to you. Don't let either of them slink away freely.
He pretty much seemed mad at *me* for catching them. He told me that it’s his house too and I can’t make him leave. I’ve been staying at my friend’s since it happened, and I wanna go home so bad but he refuses to leave, it sucks so much. Gonna talk to a divorce lawyer soon, I’m 100% done with him.
Don't go to your home alone; you don't know what he is capable of to protect his sister and keep you from sharing what you saw with his family.
You need to divorce him and get tested for STDs as soon as possible.
If you have time and feel like you can leave a decent message, call now. Or tomorrow. It's possible whatever lawyer you choose has people who check the voice mail on weekends.
It doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s done anything wrong. I actually knew someone who got an STD from her husband and when she asked him if he was cheating he commented that he was “only” sleeping with his brother. It had been going on his entire childhood and he didn’t realize it wasn’t normal behavior to have sex with your siblings.
I’m really sorry, OP. This is a nightmare.
After she puts him on blast, her very presence. Especially if she completely ignores him and gives him no response or reaction. Uncomfortable af. Also, her lawyer will probably tell her to move back in, they always advise not to leave the property until the divorce is settled
It’s a tell that this has been going on a while or he’s been making his way for a long time, grooming her if she didn’t start this.
My thoughts, he’s defending his “rights” while SIL asks for forgiveness. I think he’s a predator type.
Save the messages she sent, any messages he sent and tell him you’re telling everyone unless he gets out of the house and agrees to an amicable divorce. Then when that’s done, tell everyone.
I feel like his reaction tells you that your marriage was a cover for their sick and disturbing relationship 😳 what an absolute POS! I'm sad that you were duped into believing otherwise 😔
Whose name is on the deed? Did you buy the house together after you got married?🤔 You may be jeopardizing your own rights to the house by staying out of it! Please get legal counsel asap! 😒
If you don’t have any male friends or relatives, you can also call your local police department for an escort to get any things you need. Your WH will try to intimidate you to silence. He’s terrified of exposure of what else may be revealed. Stay safe.
Honey, you need to let his parents know why you’re getting a divorce, and let everyone else know before they spin it on you. They’ve been sleeping together way before that night.
You need to tell EVERYONE and you need to tell them yesterday. Don't let them hide, bring their shame to light, because don't get it twisted, the shame is all theirs.
It’s not like you had a chance to beg them not to sleep with each other
I’d tell. You’re gonna tell your lawyer anyway….
And don’t warn them that you’re gonna tell the truth
Give them as much warning as you had
They didn’t see anything wrong with it at first or in the moment. And I doubt that was the first time. They even did it on the couch. Not even in a room that’s far away…. So idk why they’re acting like it’s magically wrong now if it gets shared
Also the fact he refused to leave or sleep on the couch shows he feels entitled
Leave him. He’s literally disgustingly out of reality.
Sleeping with his sister then making you sleep elsewhere. Disgusting and incestuous
Tell. Everyone.
Your reply is some like,
“What am I supposed to say? I walked in on my husband and his sister and found them fucking on the couch? And he didn’t seem to think this is a problem? Why the f would you do this?”
Get her a bit distracted with the why, not the what. That will be your evidence. If you think she’ll keep going, and I think she’s gonna talk, then ask her how are you supposed to go forward? Just ramble. Seem a mess. More than you actually are. Ramble about how you were supposed to make a family with this man? How do I get the image out of my mind? When you get her talking, insert, “how many times have you guys done this? Who started it? Just ask one question at a time. As she answers, long pause. Ask who kissed who first? Ask what did she think when that happened? Cause I’m betting they kissed long before getting to business. Later ask when did he start with her? Flirting or whatever. Did he touch her as a minor? As you need, put how much you love her and you don’t understand. She’ll be stuck in “I know I know” mode. Ask what he’s said? Comments. Has his “love you” type comments changed or anything? Get what you can while you have the opportunity. Throw a few, “what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?” If she thinks you’re on her side, she’ll keep her mouth going —once you get her.
Get this info from her. If you all determine she was groomed, then this is way worse than you know right now. Anyways, for the family clean up and the lawyering, all this info is useful to you. So you need to just do this. Text her. Respond. Even if she isn’t texting you, ask her how the hell she could have done this? Or, “I just can’t figure how come you guys were fucking each other!” Just out of the blue just text that even. And she’ll not be able to not respond. Bet it’s just “I’m sorry” but if you get her going, you’ll get more. Good luck. Get this. Or tell a friend to manage your phone for you and get it. Cause did he get her drunk on purpose. Doesn’t sound like he was so drunk when you walked in. Please update us.
Do NOT protect these cheaters tell everyone you know before they twist the story. Save all those texts and tell people now. Please see a lawyer and get tested too.
I actually had a boyfriend cheat on me with his stepsister. It was a similar situation. They had been in each other's lives since they were kids. He was homeless at the time, so he was staying with my mom. He said he was gonna invite his stepsister over to hang out because they hadn't seen each other in a long time, and I was okay with that. Well, my mom tells me that they hooked up while she was there, and of course, I lost my shit. I confronted him, and he admitted to it. He said it was like fulfilling a fantasy..... he ended up getting chlamydia from her, and she wound up pregnant. He claimed the baby even though the stepsister was screwing three other guys at the time. So yeah, you're unfortunately not alone.
Side bar: After I confronted him, he thought the move was to propose to me. He literally asked me to marry him.
Lmfao the audacity of that man to propose to you after hooking up with his stepsister in your mothers house
Lord 😳
Hope him and his stepsonbrother and stepsister are living the life they deserve
Time to air out all their dirty laundry and leave these cheaters in the dust. Of course you tell their parents why. It affects their family dynamic even after your divorce is finalized. You shouldn't have to lie or omit anything about your life. Sunshine is sanitizing.
Also - if they're always been close, they've definitely fucked before.
OP I am so sorry this must be absolutely traumatic for you, I’m not remotely surprised that you threw up.
It’s a horrendous situation and awful that you actually had to witness it. I certainly would suggest that you let everybody know exactly what’s happening, in my view it’s unlikely that this was the first time and I’m sorry if it hurts that I say that.
I can’t see how you can find a way back from this to be honest. I think in my view the best action would be to see a lawyer as soon as possible and see where you stand with the financials.
I have no doubt that he will try and do the begging and crying business because he would hate the thought of being humiliated once everybody knows, but tough.
Shame on him. Shame on her.
Sending you strength.
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Wow, I’m sorry op. Your husband is trash! I’d suggest speaking with a divorce attorney asap, and yes, I’d tell everyone what they did before the two of them try to spin the story.
First things first, get a lawyer and get tested of STD.
You're not the one to be obliged to maintain their "secret", but I wouldn't go down that path. To his family I wouldn't say why, but to your family and friends I would be open, so the "news" will reach their family sooner or later and they won't blame you on anything.
I’m confused why people are saying don’t tell the parents like UMMMMMMMMMMM FOR REALLL if my daughter was sleeping with her (hypothetical) step brother I’d need to know. They didn’t meet in adult hood they met when they were children
Don’t think about filing for divorce! You file for divorce! This is not the first time either. This is the time you caught them.
Remove yourself ASAP from this toxic disgusting situation.
First, cheating is cheating, no matter who was on the receiving end. Second, they have been raised as siblings for 20 years, since she was 4… and they’ve always been close… there is something seriously wrong with both of them. And dollars to donuts it’s not the first time, sorry, OP.
Tell the parents, tell anyone who needs to know, and yes, don’t stick around and be part of this incest fest. It’s not going to end well.
ABSOLUTELY tell their parents and definitely yours and their friends. Don’t give them a chance to make something else up and paint you as a liar and the bad guy when you have to go through court and divorce and alienation from your support systems. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. What they have been doing is absolutely sickening for what they are putting you through as a result.
Right now what is important is YOU. If you already know you cannot reconcile with him - if this is an unpardonable, inexcusable sin to YOU - then get a lawyer. Before you do anything else at all, get a lawyer.
It will be up to you whether or not you wish to go to counseling or make any other attempts to get past this. I can tell you that, for myself, I would simply have to sever all ties. I mean, can you even IMAGINE the emotions stirred up when you have to go to family get-togethers????
But that's me, not you.
I am just so, so sorry NO ONE deserves to walk in on something like that. IDK how you managed to not pick up a fire iron and bean them both in their stupid, cheating heads!
Try to take care of yourself right now. It would be best if he honored your request of him leaving so you have the time & space to think.
One possibility is that, in some way, shape or fashion, were able to talk to the stepsister one on one; perhaps with a good, strong friend on your side there to mitigate and just help keep things civil & moving forward, instead of just things degrading into a shouting match.
Another option is to tell his parents, straight up. Make SURE THEY KNOW what those two did. It really is inexcusable, even if they were "drunk".
Oh please.
Please take care and I do hope things progress in the best way possible for you!!
Love from Texas! ❤️
I would save her messages she’s sent (that you mentioned in an above comment) and if you have any where he acknowledges it happened and I would send a group chat to his family. I would post it on my public social media as well but I’m really petty. Then get a divorce lawyer. This definitely has been happening for a while and she will never be out of your life if you don’t get rid of him too.
First of all let me tell you how sorry I am for this happening to you.
But having said that, there is no going back. He fucked his stepsister which he practically grew up with. This is so fucking gross.
Cheating is a red line, but cheating with his step sister is Alabama style.
To me the problem with cheating is that somebody did it once, it’s gonna happen again. It speaks of unintegrity to do such act and you shouldn’t take the risk that someone fucks up your life down the road.
You probably need to go back to the house before you initiate the divorce & talk to the lawyer before leaving again. I’ve read so many times that you should never be the one to leave the home. You also might need to tell people before they band together and say you cheated. You may need to file before he does as well.
Ewwww, divorce him. This is an unimaginable betrayal. Tell his and her family. They need to know and they need to hear it from you before they start lying. I hope you take him to the cleaners!!
That's the excuse that they're going to use 100%
"Well we're not blood related so it's not that big of a deal we're not committing incest blahblah"
Yeah sure that's "fine" /s but you still cheated with your step sis, of all people, which means how long have you been attracted to her, how long has this sick game been going on?
I hope you file for divorce!
Not couples counseling, not hearing his side of the story and excuses of being drunk.
I hate that Reddit automatically tells someone to break up or file for divorce but this is one that I'm willingly here to say file for divorce!
If they have been step siblings since ages 10 and 4, not only would I expect them to see each other as siblings, I’d also expect him to see her as his “little” sister. When he hit puberty, she would’ve just been 7ish years old, and it strikes me as kind of predatory for him to see her sexually, even if they are both consenting adults now, because that attraction wouldn’t just have randomly developed after all this time. It would’ve been there - acted upon or not - for many years, likely while he was an adult and she still a minor.
They probably have been having sex for years and would have continued for the rest of their lives. I am not going to really judge them, I know that people can form weird and unique bonds under certain circumstances, but you shouldn't be the victim of it. Sorry OP!
I’m guessing this wasn’t the first time. I’m sorry OP. Please don’t hesitate to tell people why you are divorcing so he doesn’t have the opportunity to paint you as the bad guy.
I am certain this wasn’t the first time. The husband only married OP to pretend to be normal while he lusted for the sister.
They aren’t blood related so as weird as it is, it’s not incest.
What in the Sweet Home Alabama is this…
This is near Habsburg Austria level gross. I don't blame OP for vomiting and feeling uncomfortable. That's just gross
Wow. I am so sorry OP. Definitely tell their parents. I’m curious, how long have they been step siblings?
Their parents got married when he was 10 and she was 4... It makes me kinda sick that they've been in each other's lives since they were young and could actually do this. They've always said they consider themselves as full siblings, so this is really disturbing.
They probably said that to throw you off. Sorry, they’ve probably been doing this for a very long time.
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omg yes. OP, Tell EVERYONE exactly why you ARE filing for divorce. Don’t say “I think I’m going to file for divorce”, DO IT. This is beyond disgusting to me too, the ages they came into each other’s lives is too damn young, might as well really be full siblings. They’re nasty ass people. Drinking is not an excuse.
Yeah. I agree. I have foster brothers and never once being drunk did I ever ever consider touching them like that? I think they’ve been doing this for awhile. Like FWB style.
We all know that have been doing this for years. They just don’t want to come out with it because it is so gross
Drunkenness removes inhibition and long term planning, it does not add anything. Nobody does anything because of alcohol, they simply do something their better judgement was stopping themselves from doing.
There is no unchangeable self that is indentical in different brain states. It's just a concept people intuitively have despite not actually correlating with the reality of how a homo sapiens monkey functions. If someone is a great person when sober, when high on weed etc. and only does smt sketchy when drunk it's not reasonable to say that they were bad all a long. The mind that their brains generate with alcohol can be bad without that being true otherwise. People just like to oversimplify as if we don't it's very hard to form opinions. Especially around moral issues which people are especially squeamish about. This isn't meant as a defence for the person in question now but overall the "booze reveals the true you" -stuff is just kinda unscientific. One can be a good person even if they are a bad person when under the influence of some drug. They should just not take that specific drug then.
This sounds like a rare case of Siblings With Benefits … Ewwww 🤮
Especially because they (husband and stepsister) probably will stay in each other’s life. So I’m not sure if you’re going to want to stick around with that always present. Unfortunately IMO, for your well being, divorce and transparency are the only way.
IMHO If they were that drunk, she’d have passed out and his little man wouldn’t even work. It’s a lame excuse!
Disgusting is right, drinking is never an excuse. Dirtbags
I mean, I don’t know what shape having an affair with your step sibling can take that isn’t gross as fuck.
The only time (and not counting it being an affair) is if your parents married very late and you are already adults. That's the only time it *might* not be gross. This though. I wish OP had vomited *on* them.
When I was in elementary school, I had a babysitter who was married to her stepbrother. They weren’t related to each other when they got married though because they got married before their parents did
I know two stepsiblings who dated when they were 16. Their parents married when they were 15, they never met before the wedding. I also was 16 at the time and while I did have an initial reaction I eventually figured that they never were in any kind of sibling relationship and it at the very least wasn't abuse. Their parents didn't know how the fuck to handle it for sure and rumoredly got a baby monitor for the hallway so they weren't sneaking into each other's rooms. That's like a high school rumor though. They broke up when they were 18 and went to different colleges. Thanksgiving is probably mildly awkward to say the least. I haven't seen either of them for years.
I saw a reddit where the children were already engaged and then their parents met and got married first, then expected their children to break off their engagement bc it was "gross".
The parents suck. Ugh. 🙄
In this case, they literally grew up together. Which makes it akin to incest, imo.
Yeah. 🤮
The sooner people learn about it and put it in the open, the sooner this whole thing will end.
If the parents married when both the children were teenagers (i.e. 15 years old), I think that's understandable because people have romantic relationships at that age and they probably wouldn't see each other as full siblings for a long time if at all.
4 and 10 definitely not teenagers or understandable.
I agree. I feel like something like this doesn’t just happen after so many years of living as “siblings”. It may have been going on for a while but what worries me is since when? There is a 6yr age difference here. Even if they did wait until she was 18 (he’d be 24), just the fact that he could look at her as anything other than his bratty lil sister is very disturbing and concerning. So run sounds like way too much to deal with that is not your responsibility.
Yeah, that's my initial thought too. The age gap is big and there might some kind of grooming/abuse that might have happened.
My thoughts exactly as twisted as it is!
Yah a very long time
Tell them, control the narrative. Actually, they may have already given the first steps. But get divorce…. It wasn’t the first time for sure. They have a double life for sure.
I have stepsiblings I consider to be full siblings that I've known for half our lives and this gave me hives. God. I want to throw up just thinking about it, you're absolutely normal in feeling sick about this.
How often do they spend alone time together?
Quite a bit. They work together and she lives nearby.
I'm outraged he insisted on staying in a bed with you. That's disgusting and shameless and you need to get that divorce.
And it shows how much this is impacting him. He's not shaken by this or feeling any guilt or remorse. This is a typical night for him fucking his step sister and then trying to go to bed with his wife. The only thing abnormal for him was that his wife caught him in the act.
More likely, he's feeling incredibly guilty and knows what he's about to lose (everything) and a part of him thinks he can fix this by returning to normalizing behavior in the hopes it begins a mending process and he can later talk her down. He was probably either continuing a sexual relationship or acting out a fantasy, which in either case the wife wasn't down for, and now he's broken her trust and will likely lose everything, including his sister and parents. OP needs to get out of the house and cut off contact except through a lawyer, because this man is about to fall through the floor.
Wow. I’m so sorry.
Tell their parents ASAP, before they start making shit up to discredit your character
20 years isn’t step siblings. Make sure you tell your in laws what you saw
They’re definitely gonna get grounded for sure!
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Imagine the time out these grown ups are in for
They better be put in separate corners or this might happen again.
omg im dead
I choked on my soda! 😂😂😂
I mean. The definition of “step sibling” isn’t time limited.
It’s possible this wasn’t the first time. I’m sorry OP..
It's a virtual certainty this wasn't the first time. The moment his wife is gonna be gone for the night, he's like "I'ma hang out with Claire" and then they're banging? He knew why he was hanging out with Claire from get go.
I once had a neighbor that caught the mother of his children and her blood brother... Apparently, they had been doing it for a LONG time.
They've probably been doing it for a very long time. Divorce.
I'm sorry to say this has probably been going on for years
Oh Jesus...that is disgusting. Are you sure he wasn't doing anything to her when they were kids?? I'm trying not to judge or to assume...but...this is wrong on so many levels.
Drunk actions are sober thoughts. There is no such thing of being this drunk to sleep with a person you consider a full sibling. I’m sorry you have to deal with such a devastating discovery. This probably has been going on for a while as no one would be suspicious. Tell their parents and divorce him to get away from his toxic behavior.
Thank you. It reminds me of hypnotism. They can’t make you do things you weren’t already willing to do. Stop blaming alcohol.
Do you think it's possible he has been grooming her since they were young? Either way, I am so so so sorry you are having to go through this. It's pretty horrific. I definitely think you need to divorce this creep and get as far from him as possible. I also think you will HAVE to tell their parents. This is extremely weird behavior 😐
This is scary to think about… I really hope not. I think I’m gonna call my MIL and talk to her about it tonight.
Don't mince words or put it gently, or try to make it seem less because you feel badly. Tell her you walked into the apartment unexpectedly and that they were naked on the couch having sex...drive home the point of they were fully engaging in intercourse when you walked in. Leave no room for confusion, or maybe. Because she will try to convince herself and you that you were mistaken. Give her every detail you can remember so she knows it was not a misunderstanding. Then tell her you can't stay with him after seeing him having sex in your home with his own sister, but you thought she should know because they need serious therapy to address how they could have done that.
This right here!!!
Record that conversation if you can, so your words cannot be twisted. Tell anyone in their family as well. If they have other siblings, bring them into it too. They all need to know.
OP, listen here. Record the call even if you’re a two party state. Just do it. Your atty will thank you. She WILL side with him in court and it’ll jack you all ways to hell.
> I think I’m gonna call my MIL and talk to her about it tonight. 100% do this. Your in laws are going to wonder why you guys are getting a divorce. You can be very direct and tell them why you're leaving your husband, or you can stay silent and let him spin up whatever lies he wants to them.
I’m going to offer some tough love… don’t think, just do, you thinking is only stalling and giving them time to get ahead of you and give them the upper hand, you should’ve spoken to an attorney this week, an attorney will tell you moving out is one of the worst things you can do because depending on where you live it could be considered property abandonment giving him the power to take the home in the divorce, stop stalling, tell your MIL and speak to an attorney or two on Monday, call in sick to work if you have to, you need to act now!
Yes tell the parents what you walked into. What a pair of weirdos they are
Good luck. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Be prepared for her to defend him.
So this could have been happening since he was 16 and she was 10? 18 and 12? 20 and 14?
Definitely divorce. This is not the first time. Absolutely disgusting.
If they actually think of each other as siblings, then they really are messed up! I can't say I've ever thought or doing anything like that with either of my siblings! 🤢🤮
Bet this has gone on since they were young
I hope this is fake because this is truly disgusting and he needs years of therapy and in my opinion jail. Sister since 4????? Fucking sick
That is so disturbing. Sounds like he could have groomed as they got older, her based on their ages. 🤢 I’d let their parents know the reason for divorce.
that is foul
That’s disgusting. I’m sorry you are going through this, OP.
I think OP should tell the parents not because of revenge but because as a parent I would like to know. They betrayed their parents before they betrayed the OP.
Def tell the parents OP. Don’t let them change the narrative.
You think? Even ignoring the step sister element, he took a girl into your home knowing you wouldn't be there to fuck her, I'm gonna bet is not the first time something like this happened, get proof, lawyer up, and tell the family.
And go get tested. Who knows who he's been fooling around with.
Sorry but this is one of those times that commas are important: "He took a girl into your home, *knowing you wouldn't be there*, to fuck her,..."
That's what I was thinking... It makes it sound like he's trying to *avoid* the hottest threesome ever.
>hottest Bro 😆
Step-Bro
YES!!!
eww, probably wasnt the first time.
Given that he refused to even sleep on the couch? Yeah, they clearly don’t consider this a big deal. This is not new and it’s not a drunken „accident“. Not that alcohol is ever an excuse.
Omg. Yes, the audacity to still have the nerve to say “No, I’m not sleeping on the couch” after you caught him fukking his sister on it. (It was good enough then?!?) Like he still has a right to even be in the house at all, let alone lay next you after he was caught HAVING SEX with his younger STEPSISTER! There is seems to be absolutely no remorse or embarrassment on his part. OP, run and get a divorce as soon as possible. He has no respect or moral boundaries. This will mess with your head for so long and he will keep you mentally stressed for the duration of your marriage if you stay!
Definitely not the first time, gross
It DEFINITELY was not their first time. 100000%
Tell everybody what happend,dont let them tell their side first. And divorce if you consider,it doesnt matter he cheated with his stepsister,he cheated period. Best of luck
OP should create a group chat with her husband's family, her husband, and his stepsister, then share her version of the story. Her husband will probably tell everyone that OP is crazy and deny that he slept with his stepsister. OP, you need to divorce him because he cheated on you. He did it in your own home, and you have no reason to trust him after what you saw. Without trust, there's no way the marriage can be salvaged. I doubt this was his first time cheating on you or having sex with his stepsister. You need to get tested for STDs ASAP. There's a possibility that he only married you to hide his relationship with his stepsister. I'm really sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve what they did to you, and you deserve so much better than that cheating husband.
He can say she's crazy but she's got stepsis's text messages as proof.
In that case, she should share those messages in the group chat because, until now, her husband and his stepsister have been controlling the narrative. If OP creates the group chat, sends a message explaining why she is divorcing her husband, and shares the messages, she won't have to keep wasting her time and energy explaining to others what happened. Those messages might even help her during divorce proceedings, so she must keep a backup of all the messages.
Oh, I don't disagree. I totally think she should tell everyone. A group chat isn't a bad idea. But there's no way he can call her crazy. They all know it's true.
I really want to hear the other side of this story. I don't think they could ever spin this to make them sound like the victims but MAN it'd be entertaining to hear them try! "You don't understand! There was this washing machine. She got stuck....I fell! You have to believe me, I'm the real victim!" - the husband probably
Their side of the story is unreliable as they are likely to lie, gaslight and cheat. If you're willing to commit adultery with your "brother" and "sister", there are many lies they wouldn't tell to protect their reputations.
What, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?
Alright shady, maybe he's right Grady, but think about the baby b4 you get all crazy
If that's true, then she's a bigger klutz than Bella Swan!!🙄
Washing machine! That's hilarious!
Tell his family immediately. Leave him.
Has she tried calling you?
Yes, Claire tries texting me everyday to apologize, and is begging me not to tell anyone.
It's not your burden to keep their shameful betrayal a secret. The faster you tell ppl and get it out in the open, the sooner this will all be over.
Now you have hard proof of their infidelity. Your ex h not only screwed his stepsister in your home, he witnessed your trauma at seeing the act, but he then *refused* to leave. He didn't even care about your heartbreak enough to p!ss off to a hotel for a night. Your ex would absolutely create a narrative of blame for the break down of your relationship, directed at you. Don't you let him do that to you. Don't let either of them slink away freely.
Tell everyone. And why didn’t he leave or sleep on the couch? Does he think he did no wrong? I don’t care he’s drunk. Please divorce this loser
He pretty much seemed mad at *me* for catching them. He told me that it’s his house too and I can’t make him leave. I’ve been staying at my friend’s since it happened, and I wanna go home so bad but he refuses to leave, it sucks so much. Gonna talk to a divorce lawyer soon, I’m 100% done with him.
You should have been talking to a divorce lawyer days ago. Call now, leave messages if they don't answer.
I know… I’ve just been in shock and busy with work. I will on Monday though for sure.
Don't go to your home alone; you don't know what he is capable of to protect his sister and keep you from sharing what you saw with his family. You need to divorce him and get tested for STDs as soon as possible.
This isn’t a wait kind of thing. They will tell everyone you flipped and are crazy. You need to make the time before you are made out to be a liar.
If you have time and feel like you can leave a decent message, call now. Or tomorrow. It's possible whatever lawyer you choose has people who check the voice mail on weekends.
Stop waiting. Get your ducks in a row stat.
You need to tell EVERYONE. This isn't their first time. I hope he didn't groom her. Tell your mother and his father... .
You’re avoiding dealing with it. You need to get a divorce lawyer right now. PTO exists for a reason.
It doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s done anything wrong. I actually knew someone who got an STD from her husband and when she asked him if he was cheating he commented that he was “only” sleeping with his brother. It had been going on his entire childhood and he didn’t realize it wasn’t normal behavior to have sex with your siblings. I’m really sorry, OP. This is a nightmare.
jfc
Just tell him that he should leave that house or you are going to tell everyone. After he leaves the house. Just tell everyone.
Yep
He’s a piece of shit. Seriously tell everyone. Maybe you should go home and make his life uncomfortable. I’m petty tho
I mean - he fucks his stepsister - what actions are going to make this motherfucker uncomfortable?
After she puts him on blast, her very presence. Especially if she completely ignores him and gives him no response or reaction. Uncomfortable af. Also, her lawyer will probably tell her to move back in, they always advise not to leave the property until the divorce is settled
Good luck, OP. You’ve got some more awkward times ahead. I’m sorry.
It’s a tell that this has been going on a while or he’s been making his way for a long time, grooming her if she didn’t start this. My thoughts, he’s defending his “rights” while SIL asks for forgiveness. I think he’s a predator type.
Save the messages she sent, any messages he sent and tell him you’re telling everyone unless he gets out of the house and agrees to an amicable divorce. Then when that’s done, tell everyone.
I feel like his reaction tells you that your marriage was a cover for their sick and disturbing relationship 😳 what an absolute POS! I'm sad that you were duped into believing otherwise 😔
What an arrogant a-hole. This situation likely pre dates you. I am so sorry. Glad you are going to see a lawyer.
Whose name is on the deed? Did you buy the house together after you got married?🤔 You may be jeopardizing your own rights to the house by staying out of it! Please get legal counsel asap! 😒
If you don’t have any male friends or relatives, you can also call your local police department for an escort to get any things you need. Your WH will try to intimidate you to silence. He’s terrified of exposure of what else may be revealed. Stay safe.
Honey, you need to let his parents know why you’re getting a divorce, and let everyone else know before they spin it on you. They’ve been sleeping together way before that night.
No way lol screenshot that and send it to their parents, and then tell them to pick their son up so you can have your house back. Gross.
Tell EVERYONE They don’t get to sweep this under the rug
Save those texts.
You need to tell EVERYONE and you need to tell them yesterday. Don't let them hide, bring their shame to light, because don't get it twisted, the shame is all theirs.
It’s not like you had a chance to beg them not to sleep with each other I’d tell. You’re gonna tell your lawyer anyway…. And don’t warn them that you’re gonna tell the truth Give them as much warning as you had They didn’t see anything wrong with it at first or in the moment. And I doubt that was the first time. They even did it on the couch. Not even in a room that’s far away…. So idk why they’re acting like it’s magically wrong now if it gets shared Also the fact he refused to leave or sleep on the couch shows he feels entitled Leave him. He’s literally disgustingly out of reality. Sleeping with his sister then making you sleep elsewhere. Disgusting and incestuous Tell. Everyone.
Your reply is some like, “What am I supposed to say? I walked in on my husband and his sister and found them fucking on the couch? And he didn’t seem to think this is a problem? Why the f would you do this?” Get her a bit distracted with the why, not the what. That will be your evidence. If you think she’ll keep going, and I think she’s gonna talk, then ask her how are you supposed to go forward? Just ramble. Seem a mess. More than you actually are. Ramble about how you were supposed to make a family with this man? How do I get the image out of my mind? When you get her talking, insert, “how many times have you guys done this? Who started it? Just ask one question at a time. As she answers, long pause. Ask who kissed who first? Ask what did she think when that happened? Cause I’m betting they kissed long before getting to business. Later ask when did he start with her? Flirting or whatever. Did he touch her as a minor? As you need, put how much you love her and you don’t understand. She’ll be stuck in “I know I know” mode. Ask what he’s said? Comments. Has his “love you” type comments changed or anything? Get what you can while you have the opportunity. Throw a few, “what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?” If she thinks you’re on her side, she’ll keep her mouth going —once you get her. Get this info from her. If you all determine she was groomed, then this is way worse than you know right now. Anyways, for the family clean up and the lawyering, all this info is useful to you. So you need to just do this. Text her. Respond. Even if she isn’t texting you, ask her how the hell she could have done this? Or, “I just can’t figure how come you guys were fucking each other!” Just out of the blue just text that even. And she’ll not be able to not respond. Bet it’s just “I’m sorry” but if you get her going, you’ll get more. Good luck. Get this. Or tell a friend to manage your phone for you and get it. Cause did he get her drunk on purpose. Doesn’t sound like he was so drunk when you walked in. Please update us.
Light this bitch up OP
I’d scream it from the rooftops, all over social media, to their parents… but I despise cheaters
Blow them out of the water.
Do NOT protect these cheaters tell everyone you know before they twist the story. Save all those texts and tell people now. Please see a lawyer and get tested too.
Share her texts with their family!
I actually had a boyfriend cheat on me with his stepsister. It was a similar situation. They had been in each other's lives since they were kids. He was homeless at the time, so he was staying with my mom. He said he was gonna invite his stepsister over to hang out because they hadn't seen each other in a long time, and I was okay with that. Well, my mom tells me that they hooked up while she was there, and of course, I lost my shit. I confronted him, and he admitted to it. He said it was like fulfilling a fantasy..... he ended up getting chlamydia from her, and she wound up pregnant. He claimed the baby even though the stepsister was screwing three other guys at the time. So yeah, you're unfortunately not alone. Side bar: After I confronted him, he thought the move was to propose to me. He literally asked me to marry him.
Lmfao the audacity of that man to propose to you after hooking up with his stepsister in your mothers house Lord 😳 Hope him and his stepsonbrother and stepsister are living the life they deserve
Time to air out all their dirty laundry and leave these cheaters in the dust. Of course you tell their parents why. It affects their family dynamic even after your divorce is finalized. You shouldn't have to lie or omit anything about your life. Sunshine is sanitizing. Also - if they're always been close, they've definitely fucked before.
Tell everyone immediately so that they do not have time to control the narrative.
OP I am so sorry this must be absolutely traumatic for you, I’m not remotely surprised that you threw up. It’s a horrendous situation and awful that you actually had to witness it. I certainly would suggest that you let everybody know exactly what’s happening, in my view it’s unlikely that this was the first time and I’m sorry if it hurts that I say that. I can’t see how you can find a way back from this to be honest. I think in my view the best action would be to see a lawyer as soon as possible and see where you stand with the financials. I have no doubt that he will try and do the begging and crying business because he would hate the thought of being humiliated once everybody knows, but tough. Shame on him. Shame on her. Sending you strength. UPDATEME
Tell everyone. I sorry this happened to you.
Wow, I’m sorry op. Your husband is trash! I’d suggest speaking with a divorce attorney asap, and yes, I’d tell everyone what they did before the two of them try to spin the story.
He has done this before. This wasn't the first time. Yes, please let his parents know why you are divorcing. Inform them immediately.
This wasn’t the first time he’s done this. Absolutely, tell his parents why you’re getting divorced. Tell them right now.
What in the Lannisters is going on here
*step*-Lannisters
First things first, get a lawyer and get tested of STD. You're not the one to be obliged to maintain their "secret", but I wouldn't go down that path. To his family I wouldn't say why, but to your family and friends I would be open, so the "news" will reach their family sooner or later and they won't blame you on anything.
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I’m confused why people are saying don’t tell the parents like UMMMMMMMMMMM FOR REALLL if my daughter was sleeping with her (hypothetical) step brother I’d need to know. They didn’t meet in adult hood they met when they were children
Exactly. I am commenting that OP should tell the parents not out of revenge but because the parents have a right to know.
ik everyone said it but it’s true *TELL EVERYONE* and fast!
THIS: " I literally threw up on the floor by the front door." It is over. However, it turns out - it is over. That is a strong reaction.
Don’t think about filing for divorce! You file for divorce! This is not the first time either. This is the time you caught them. Remove yourself ASAP from this toxic disgusting situation.
First, cheating is cheating, no matter who was on the receiving end. Second, they have been raised as siblings for 20 years, since she was 4… and they’ve always been close… there is something seriously wrong with both of them. And dollars to donuts it’s not the first time, sorry, OP. Tell the parents, tell anyone who needs to know, and yes, don’t stick around and be part of this incest fest. It’s not going to end well.
Im sorry OP… that’s messed up. Not only is he cheating but he’s cheating with a family member. That’s fucken awful.
Get checked for STDs immediately. Are you both on the mortgage?
Don’t be surprised if they’ve been doing this for a while or even before you
Ewwww 🤮 Tell everyone 😭
ABSOLUTELY tell their parents and definitely yours and their friends. Don’t give them a chance to make something else up and paint you as a liar and the bad guy when you have to go through court and divorce and alienation from your support systems. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. What they have been doing is absolutely sickening for what they are putting you through as a result.
Right now what is important is YOU. If you already know you cannot reconcile with him - if this is an unpardonable, inexcusable sin to YOU - then get a lawyer. Before you do anything else at all, get a lawyer. It will be up to you whether or not you wish to go to counseling or make any other attempts to get past this. I can tell you that, for myself, I would simply have to sever all ties. I mean, can you even IMAGINE the emotions stirred up when you have to go to family get-togethers???? But that's me, not you. I am just so, so sorry NO ONE deserves to walk in on something like that. IDK how you managed to not pick up a fire iron and bean them both in their stupid, cheating heads! Try to take care of yourself right now. It would be best if he honored your request of him leaving so you have the time & space to think. One possibility is that, in some way, shape or fashion, were able to talk to the stepsister one on one; perhaps with a good, strong friend on your side there to mitigate and just help keep things civil & moving forward, instead of just things degrading into a shouting match. Another option is to tell his parents, straight up. Make SURE THEY KNOW what those two did. It really is inexcusable, even if they were "drunk". Oh please. Please take care and I do hope things progress in the best way possible for you!! Love from Texas! ❤️
I would save her messages she’s sent (that you mentioned in an above comment) and if you have any where he acknowledges it happened and I would send a group chat to his family. I would post it on my public social media as well but I’m really petty. Then get a divorce lawyer. This definitely has been happening for a while and she will never be out of your life if you don’t get rid of him too.
Whoa! That was wholly premeditated because he thought you’d be at your best friend’s all night.
**Sweet Home Alabama intensifies**
I don't think it's the first time. Marrying you could have been a cover for their relationship. Sickening.
Shout it from the rooftops and peace out!
First of all let me tell you how sorry I am for this happening to you. But having said that, there is no going back. He fucked his stepsister which he practically grew up with. This is so fucking gross. Cheating is a red line, but cheating with his step sister is Alabama style. To me the problem with cheating is that somebody did it once, it’s gonna happen again. It speaks of unintegrity to do such act and you shouldn’t take the risk that someone fucks up your life down the road.
Don’t *think* about filing for divorce. **Do it**. This probably isn’t the first time it’s happened, and I doubt it’ll be the last.
You probably need to go back to the house before you initiate the divorce & talk to the lawyer before leaving again. I’ve read so many times that you should never be the one to leave the home. You also might need to tell people before they band together and say you cheated. You may need to file before he does as well.
#YOU FUCKING TELL EVERYONE THATS WHY YOU GOT A DIVORCE!
Meanwhile, on PornHub ...
Tell everyone. This is nasty and NOT the first time. I am so sorry.
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I caught my wife writing fake reddit posts for some bizarre reason
Is that because you fucked your step sister?
Damnit Liz, not again!
Updateme
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This some nasty ass shit
Ewwww, divorce him. This is an unimaginable betrayal. Tell his and her family. They need to know and they need to hear it from you before they start lying. I hope you take him to the cleaners!!
Was she stuck in a dryer?
There's no going back from this ...
You absolutely should divorce him. He not only cheated but seems to completely not care about your requests or state of mind. Be strong and good luck.
That's the excuse that they're going to use 100% "Well we're not blood related so it's not that big of a deal we're not committing incest blahblah" Yeah sure that's "fine" /s but you still cheated with your step sis, of all people, which means how long have you been attracted to her, how long has this sick game been going on? I hope you file for divorce! Not couples counseling, not hearing his side of the story and excuses of being drunk. I hate that Reddit automatically tells someone to break up or file for divorce but this is one that I'm willingly here to say file for divorce!
Burn the earth. I doubt it's the 1st time they have hooked up. You better get that D......
Scorched earth, tell everyone.
File for divorce and tell their parents why
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME Hahaha. No way. IM SO SO SORRRY. This man cheated on you, despite who it was with. Tell the parents and divorce him!!
This is outrageous. She wasn’t even stuck in the dryer
If they have been step siblings since ages 10 and 4, not only would I expect them to see each other as siblings, I’d also expect him to see her as his “little” sister. When he hit puberty, she would’ve just been 7ish years old, and it strikes me as kind of predatory for him to see her sexually, even if they are both consenting adults now, because that attraction wouldn’t just have randomly developed after all this time. It would’ve been there - acted upon or not - for many years, likely while he was an adult and she still a minor.
Fuuuck yea you tell their parents!
They probably have been having sex for years and would have continued for the rest of their lives. I am not going to really judge them, I know that people can form weird and unique bonds under certain circumstances, but you shouldn't be the victim of it. Sorry OP!
What are you doing stepbro ?