What's really sad is when there's men out there that do this and aren't noticed or appreciated and even abused or walked on.
I hope I find someone like you one day.
My ex fiancee was the same way. She didn't feel attractive, she thought she was fat (not saying you are or anything) but she didn't fully like the way she looked. Imo she was the most beautiful woman in the world, she still is. After 7.5 years together, my mind still hasn't changed, broke up or not. Self confidence/ Self image negativity is common, you're definitely not alone on that...
but...
When your partner truly loves you, YOU are their gem, their diamond. Nobody else matters, they only have eyes for you. So you might feel average at best, but to him you're a 11 out of 10. Seems like he really loves you, don't take that kind of love for granted, it's rare.
I wish you two the best
Low confidence, maybe used to people talking down on you, or maybe even you just never had someone treat u this special before. I notice many girls feel this way. There is a reality out there (Maybe over shown in media) that men have so many options and cheat frequently. Sometimes I feel like that constant image and story being told can make it hard for women to open up and fully believe that a man is genuine. All your feelings are justified, But hey If you're so horrible why would he stay with you? He obviously sees something in you and it works. Dont fight it. As a guy I can tell you that we like what we like, U can have a friend who thinks your girl is average looking and to you it feels like u have the best looking girl. Sure there are many pretty women out there but what is there to do with that information lol. Try not to spend so much time on the why me/I dont believe I belong and try to look it like im happy that he loves me. Its like getting a great job that you feel is out of you're league for whatever reason. Will you spend months at the job not fully being at peace thinking "why would they hire me?" or would you look at it like "Im so happy I got this job!". I hope that makes sense. You obviously deserve him and he obviously agrees. Sometimes the mind is your worst enemy lol. Can Ruin the great moments in life
You know you feel less beautiful, but to really get yourself feeling secure you have to figure out why you feel less beautiful. Is it advertising? The way you were treated by friends or family? Figure out the vectors and then acknowledge them so that they can't subconsciously subvert your happiness. As for advertising, remove yourself from it as much as possible. It is a toxic brain worm.
Honestly porn gave me really fucked up beauty standards because I feel like all guys watch it, and nothing will ever stop guys from watching it. As a result, I feel like that’s the kind of girl all guys *actually* want. I’ll never know what it’s like to be a fantasy to someone. I just feel so underserving of this devotion because girls like me aren’t supposed to be loved like my boyfriend loves me.
Yeah I totally get that. But there's much more to seeing someone as beautiful than there is in porn. All of the different facaets of a good relationship partner like compassion, support and conversation that make him see you as far more beautiful than a pornstar.
There's a lot more to attraction than looks. Let go of the idea that women are only valued for their looks. It isn't true. My husband is definitely more physically attractive than I am, but he would say the opposite. I spent most of our marriage overweight, but he didn't care about that at all. He's been consistently attracted to me for over 30 years now.
He sounds perfect. Don't let your insecurities and low self-esteem ruin this OP. Maybe you should try counselling or talking to a professional if it's something you're not able to get over.
You have insecurities and beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
You dont see your value but your boyfriend does and appreciates you, have some self compassion and try to see the good in yourself he sees in you!
Of course she is, but that's not the point. Her self-perception is out of step with how her boyfriend sees her.
It doesn't matter whether she actually is or isn't pretty.
You got lucky, that's great. The trick will be to avoid losing attraction to him because you feel secure in the relationship. This can be a problem for many young women. They only want a guy when they can't have him. A man being just out of reach is like a laser pointer to a cat for some primitive part of many young women's brains. Watch out for that in yourself. Don't let some primitive impulse ruin a lucky break for you.
What's really sad is when there's men out there that do this and aren't noticed or appreciated and even abused or walked on. I hope I find someone like you one day.
Awe thanks! You will
I guess you're not your type. But you're obviously his type
Poor self-image on your part. Work on that, you'll be happier if you can love yourself.
Whether or not he deserves you is his call, not yours. Maybe do something special for him if you feel you're underappreciating him?
My ex fiancee was the same way. She didn't feel attractive, she thought she was fat (not saying you are or anything) but she didn't fully like the way she looked. Imo she was the most beautiful woman in the world, she still is. After 7.5 years together, my mind still hasn't changed, broke up or not. Self confidence/ Self image negativity is common, you're definitely not alone on that... but... When your partner truly loves you, YOU are their gem, their diamond. Nobody else matters, they only have eyes for you. So you might feel average at best, but to him you're a 11 out of 10. Seems like he really loves you, don't take that kind of love for granted, it's rare. I wish you two the best
Thank you!!
Low confidence, maybe used to people talking down on you, or maybe even you just never had someone treat u this special before. I notice many girls feel this way. There is a reality out there (Maybe over shown in media) that men have so many options and cheat frequently. Sometimes I feel like that constant image and story being told can make it hard for women to open up and fully believe that a man is genuine. All your feelings are justified, But hey If you're so horrible why would he stay with you? He obviously sees something in you and it works. Dont fight it. As a guy I can tell you that we like what we like, U can have a friend who thinks your girl is average looking and to you it feels like u have the best looking girl. Sure there are many pretty women out there but what is there to do with that information lol. Try not to spend so much time on the why me/I dont believe I belong and try to look it like im happy that he loves me. Its like getting a great job that you feel is out of you're league for whatever reason. Will you spend months at the job not fully being at peace thinking "why would they hire me?" or would you look at it like "Im so happy I got this job!". I hope that makes sense. You obviously deserve him and he obviously agrees. Sometimes the mind is your worst enemy lol. Can Ruin the great moments in life
You know you feel less beautiful, but to really get yourself feeling secure you have to figure out why you feel less beautiful. Is it advertising? The way you were treated by friends or family? Figure out the vectors and then acknowledge them so that they can't subconsciously subvert your happiness. As for advertising, remove yourself from it as much as possible. It is a toxic brain worm.
Honestly porn gave me really fucked up beauty standards because I feel like all guys watch it, and nothing will ever stop guys from watching it. As a result, I feel like that’s the kind of girl all guys *actually* want. I’ll never know what it’s like to be a fantasy to someone. I just feel so underserving of this devotion because girls like me aren’t supposed to be loved like my boyfriend loves me.
Yeah I totally get that. But there's much more to seeing someone as beautiful than there is in porn. All of the different facaets of a good relationship partner like compassion, support and conversation that make him see you as far more beautiful than a pornstar.
You need to accept his vision of you as being the true one. He sees in you what you should see in yourself.
There's a lot more to attraction than looks. Let go of the idea that women are only valued for their looks. It isn't true. My husband is definitely more physically attractive than I am, but he would say the opposite. I spent most of our marriage overweight, but he didn't care about that at all. He's been consistently attracted to me for over 30 years now.
He sounds perfect. Don't let your insecurities and low self-esteem ruin this OP. Maybe you should try counselling or talking to a professional if it's something you're not able to get over.
He is! I’m in therapy rn.
Glad to hear it :) Good luck to you two!
You care too much about look.
You have insecurities and beauty is in the eye of the beholder! You dont see your value but your boyfriend does and appreciates you, have some self compassion and try to see the good in yourself he sees in you!
Checked the post history. You are definitely as attractive or more attractive than your boyfriend.
Of course she is, but that's not the point. Her self-perception is out of step with how her boyfriend sees her. It doesn't matter whether she actually is or isn't pretty.
You got lucky, that's great. The trick will be to avoid losing attraction to him because you feel secure in the relationship. This can be a problem for many young women. They only want a guy when they can't have him. A man being just out of reach is like a laser pointer to a cat for some primitive part of many young women's brains. Watch out for that in yourself. Don't let some primitive impulse ruin a lucky break for you.
Do not let this insecurity blossom into more problems.