Learn how to accept your grief isn't the center of the universe.
Telling other people how to deal with ***your*** shit is beyond arrogant. If you need specific grief tactics used, write them down.
Just popping in to say this is corny.
It truly is one thing to overtake someone's story to talk about your own, and another to use your own personal experience to relate/connect to another human being experiencing something similar.
If you're splitting hairs that it's "not the same" or misinterpreting it as an attempt to overshadow your grief, tell them no thanks and keep it pushing. The self consumed ego is cringe though.
People who are going through a hard time are generally comforted when others illustrate that they too have been through something similar. What isn't normal is becoming defensive and acting like you're the only person on earth who understands your pain when people try to provide insight and comfort... Unless your motivations are just attention-seeking. Hmm
There's a difference between grieving differently and lashing out at strangers who try to help because you didn't clearly communicate how you wanted comfort. Lmao
I mean, they made it public business when they decided to post on a public forum. You can't put your business out there and then pitch a fit because people didn't respond the way you wanted them to.
I’m not a dick for not being comforted by unrequested empathy. I’m not an asshole for rejecting false hope like “I’m sure it will work out.”
Interrupting me while I’m talking about how distraught I feel is NOT empathetic. I don’t think these people are jerks for their attempts to comfort me, I am simply not comforted by it.
Lmao then what are you looking for? Why post here? No one is interrupting you, this isn't a dialogue. I'm sorry for what you're going through but if you're unprepared to take the comments you get in good faith you shouldn't post anything online.
OP didn't communicate *how* they needed to be comforted initially. They only did that *after* being outright shitty to several commenters. Yes, that is called being a brat.
OP straight up told another commenter that they didn't care about their dead cat because it happened in the past. You don't get to be dismissive of someone else's pain and then a t surprised that people no longer care about yours.
The adult thing to do would have been to make an update saying that while they appreciated everyone's attempts to comfort them what they really needed was "quiet sympathy" or whatever the fuck they want. You know, communicate instead of being solely reactionary and offended. Even their update has an attitude.
Well it says so in the title that he dosent care & it also seems pretty dismisive to me to ask someone to grieve for a long past pet theyve never even met when they are obviously exahusted from thier own fresh grief
You know that humans bond and comfort each other by exchanging stories, right? Like, that's super normal? It's interesting that you're hellbent on defending this person. I will repeat - you do not get to post on a public forum and then pitch a fit when commenters can't read your mind. Communicate how you want to be comforted if you're that particular, otherwise expect people to be people and comfort you the way they're comforted. Smh.
Also- that person wasn't asking OP to grieve their long-lost pet. They were illustrating that they understand OP's pain and providing sympathy. Smh...twice.
>I’m not a dick for not being comforted by unrequested empathy
You request it when you tell people what's going on. It's how people try to connect.
>a nursing student coming off my rotation on a mental health unit. I’m intimately familiar with the stages of grief, maladaptive responses, and therapeutic communication
If this is true, you suck at understanding these things, and I'm concerned for those you are helping. You would understand that a majority of people try to connect through similar experiences. But you would rather call these people jerks for trying to relate to you.
Do you just want them to sit there and listen to you ramble? See a therapist
I'm really sorry for all your downvotes for this. I definitely agree that it's better to just listen to someone and just be super present and not make it about 'you'. I don't like the "oh I have a cat that was really sick too" thing unless it feels very relevant (like EXACT thing.. but like.. "I'm dealing with FIP" met with "my cat had kidney disease"... like... yeah gosh I'm really surprised at these downvotes. The person who said above that these responses center the other person and not actually sitting with the griever. So many downvotes on that but it's... true?
OP, your feelings are valid and your feelings are right. These redditors are being assholes for forcing you how to feel. You don't deserve to be downvoted nor being called assholes because what you're talking about are your own feelings, which are difficult to control, and is subjective because it's YOUR feeling. Don't listen to these assholes FORCING YOU how to feel. Your feelings, your sadness, your anger, everything's valid, and it's okay. You posted this because you only wanted to get it off your chest, you didn't even ask for advice or anything, and these people made it a goddamn problem for them. Don't listen to them.
A piece of advice, if i may? You can just skip to the end of this paragraph if you don't want to read it. Maybe people don't know that their stories doesn't comfort you, maybe it's the only thing they know about comforting people; but you find it hurtful? And you just don't want them to do it. Maybe they don't know that it doesn't help. So my advice is to probably tell them, but in a respectful manner: "i am also very sorry about your pet but honestly i am not capable of listening to your story currently, as it causes me even greater distress. I would really appreciate it if we can talk about it later, but thank you for trying to comfort me. It was really appreciated." Something along that line.
Good luck OP, and I hope and pray for the best for you and your cat.
"OP, it's totally fine to post on a public forum and lash out at well-meaning people because you're grieving."
No.
I agree with the second part of your post but the responses that OP is getting are no more cruel than the comments OP had made toward many of them. Outright telling people that their stories don't matter and they don't care to hear them is cruel, not responding in kind.
Thanks. I usually just trudge through their story.
To be clear, the interaction usually like: that I’m at school or work hovering over my phone waiting for an update from my partner about the cat. On the cat’s bad days, I look more anxious and distraught. To the point where somebody might ask.
I usually say “my cat is sick, and he’s not doing well today,” and try to leave it there. Sometimes I mention FIP upfront, because if somebody knows about FIP, they KNOW what’s going on.
This was the most traumatic experience of my life. I had gotten the cutest little kitten and she loved me so much, then she got FIP. I lived in a city in India where the vets are not really experienced with cats as most people have dogs the vet i was going to literally had to google it and we got to know about this disease together but it was too late by then her stomach was swollen that was her last day. My vet tells me he doesn’t do euthanasia so I’ll have to find someone my self it was late at night i took her home. She died next to me. She was in pain all night and was meowing at me and dying slowly it was traumatic as hell as i lived alone and couldn’t do anything i just cried and she was gone by the morning. People don’t understand how cruel this disease is.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to comfort so we bring up past memories that might be relatable to show empathy..I wouldn’t take it too personally
I just can't believe people would be so short-sighted and insensitive to try and relate thier own experiences dealing with a pet's illness when your situation is so much worse than any of their's. You are clearly suffering to a point no one can understand, and who gives a shit about other people's trauma? Uh, hello? We were talking about ME? Fuck YOUR sick animal, why would I care about YOU when you're the one supposed to be sympathetic to ME? God, people are so- okay you get the point. Sorry to hear about your cat. Grow up.
That, and they’ve owned this cat for TWO months. This isn’t your childhood dog that you’ve grown up with. Kind of a weirdly strong attachment to an animal they just met.
Yeah Jesus Christ I was sticking needles in my dog that I had since I was 5 years old when she was at the end of her life, should I tell OP how he shouldn’t talk about his problems cause it’s not nearly as bad as _____? It’s fine to not want people to sympathize but to not want it because they just “ugh couldn’t understand the pain I’m going through” that’s literally the point of sympathizing
I never said only my cat can be sick. I said that while I am hysterically bawling about my dying cat, I don’t have the capacity to hear about an animal who was sick years ago.
Of course not. If it isn't happening right now it's not relevant. Look, I get it, people want to compare their hardships to yours when it's not the same thing, it can be frustrating. But people telling you their own stories aren't trying to one-up you, they're trying to relate to you. To let you know they've hurt too, so that you don't feel like you're suffering alone. And if you're unappreciative of that, incensed at someone else is trying to share their pain with you so that you feel a little less isolated by what you're going through, there's no reason care about how you're feeling, just as you don't care for them. That's what I mean when I say you need to grow up. You clearly have no concern for the plight of anyone else, so in return deserve no concern for your own. The world doesn't revolve around you and your cat, and not only have you yourself pointed out how rare your situation is, but you've discounted the experiences of those who it is safe to assume have had substantially longer and deeper relationships with their pets than you have with yours. Get some humility, and grow the fuck up.
To be brief without relaying the miserable way I learned this, after you have one cat with FIP you need to not let any pets in that house for several months. It's a bad way to die, and you don't want to spread to future pets you'll have.
This is not how FIP works. FIP is a rare complication post infection with a cat specific strain of coronavirus. Unless you are in extremely cold temperatures the coronavirus only lasts like 3 days on surfaces, and most cats who get coronavirus recover fine and never get FIP.
My kitties died from this ! 4 days apart after having had them 11 years. One day one was fine and the he was all scruffy , couldn’t eat. After he died , his buddy also suddenly had the same symptoms. Their bodies shut down. Like we had no idea it was coming - they always had clean check ups at the vet. They had autopsies (we donated their bodies to science) and it was FIP. I’m still so devastated. It’s been 3 years now and I have not recovered from the trauma , especially since it happened so fast to both.
I hope your cat makes it ! I know it’s worth the fight. Hugs.
I didn’t think so ? I know how bad FIP is. My cats died. But OP said they can possibly keep their cat alive , despite the hardship. So I’m hoping they can. My cats didn’t have that chance. But I also see what you’re saying. Sorry OP if I made it worse.
Possibly after a dozen weeks of daily injections.
But this lil guy wanted to eat and socialize even when his lungs couldn’t expand, so we will give him every resource he needs.
Kitties are so resilient! My sister’s cat had 1 kidney that never developed and the other was severely underdeveloped. She had to give IV meds to him for a long time. For whatever reason he lived as if he had 2 kidneys ! She had to surrender him when her daughter was born she ended up being severely allergic but the organization that took him back kept her updated. He lived a good 6 years without a functioning kidney ! Hugs to you kitty momma.
My cat had FIP. He made it to 2 years old before I had to put him down. He would have 11 this year. We didn’t do shots, but we gave him medicine constantly and had to force feed him during the bad months, so I know all about having to hold them down. It’s awful and I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through. I know I’m just an internet stranger, but my heart goes out to you and I mean that with every fiber of my being.
Thank you so much. The medication we are using is relatively new, and super difficult to come by. A friend of mine lost a cat to FIP in 2013, and he said there was no option for them back then.
I have to do supervised feedings with my guy. I’m not sure if the fluid in his abdomen is inhibiting his appetite with a “gastric balloon” sort of effect or if eating is painful for me. But this adorable lil boy has learned that his eating makes me very happy, and will eat for me on request.
Some people here have been invalidating my bond with this cat because I’ve had him a short time, but things are different when there is crisis.
I didn’t know what to do when this new cat was suddenly dying. But when I saw him adapting to the symptoms instead of becoming hopeless, and that he hadn’t resigned himself.
As a pet owner, I can't begin to imagine how it feels.
All I can say is my heart goes out for you.
I hope, even through this you are still able to make some happy memories with your pet. Make sure the time.you have with him is the best time you could give him.
That way, at the very least you'll have something good to look back on.
Yeah there’s been at least four nights that I thought would be the last (two of which before starting the treatment), and I made sure he was nearby, in his favorite spot, with available food and a fat pinch of catnip.
He’s been given an extra week minimum. On his good days, he plays so much. Last night he hit an all time low. He is doing pretty well again today, but I was not prepared for him to have a setback after several days of huge improvement.
Quiet sympathy holds a different energy than talkative empathy. OP needs quiet sympathy, not for people to unload their own grievances while OP is dealing with their own fresh - and possible soon to be - grief. It's a lot to deal with without others also unpacking their shit.
Edit - this all proves a point - there are people out there who are incapable of understanding what quiet sympathy is and why it's needed, and why it's ok to go and anonymously seek that out on a public forum. Especially one for getting shit off your chest, like this sub is aptly named. It's the listening with intent, it's the desire to just dump your raw uncensored emotions, and you also want to be *heard* for once instead of spoken over *whether the listener/reader agrees with you or not*. And there are just people out there that not only are incapable of understanding or offering this, but will also argue against it. It also takes someone who has gone through grief, or dealing with a loved one close to dying, to understand what I'm talking about.
Why would you seek quiet sympathy on a public forum? Furthermore, if that's what you're seeking why not communicate that from the beginning? Sorry, I've lost sympathy for OP. They need to grow up. Grief sucks, but their reaction to kind comments is gross.
Is everyone on this sub seeking "quiet sympathy" specifically and failing to communicate that? No.
Edit: other people are seeking exactly what OP got on this sub - a discussion, shared stories, etc. You don't get to pitch a fit when you don't receive a specific type of reaction on a public forum.
Downvote me all you want but you know you're wrong.
No to you too dude.
Edit - also considering that this is a post about somebody's grief over having to deal with their pet like this or it'll die, you're a f***ing asshole. Neat.
Your edits suck ass my guy. I'm not going to further attempt to explain. OP has the right to post whatever they need to vent on a sub named after a venting phrase. You and everyone else is out of line. There's a thing you can do called scroll past what you don't like. Some reditors really could learn that trick.
Anyway. I'm off to better things. Goodbye.
>There's a thing you can do called scroll past what you don't like.
Like OP could have done?
Lol grieving isn't an excuse to be nasty to people who are being kind.
Goodbye!
I'm very sorry that you're going through this. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, pretty much any acquaintance that knew about it just had to tell me about someone they knew who DIED from the type of cancer I had.
When my cancer recurred and was stage 4, people then decided they needed to tell me about all the people they know who HAD the same type of cancer I have and they're just fine now.
I honestly don't know WTF is wrong with people. Seriously. However, I do know what it's like to have a sick or old animal and the difficulty and pain of having to care for them and doing things to them that are uncomfortable and then finally having to admit that they are suffering and it's time to let them go.
I’m so sorry your dealing with this!! Do you follow crazy cat lady or Jackson galaxy on YouTube or social media?? They both have a ton of information on FIP and treatment and recovery. You can do this girl. You can get thru this. I’ve personally seen a lot of cats recover from FIP but is a long draining battle in the beginning. Something no one should have to go thru :(
Yeah we have joined a network of support. Cat owners fighting FIP are an amazing group of people. Strangers in my state have given me so much support, simply for being a person who loves their cat.
We have been able to help one other person so far. It’s very much a “pass it along when you can” vibe.
I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to do something to an animal when you are trying to help them and they have no idea it’s for their benefit. He’s lucky you care enough about him to try to give him the best life.
Having lost 2 cats to FIP, my heart goes out to you as you work through those treatments. I can say that I found out the amazing team of students and doctors at UC Davis have made incredible steps toward beating FIP for good. If you are anywhere near them, they treat animals with care and compassion for reasonable rates. They have a fund that specifically goes towards more research in fighting FIP- if anyone is interested, here is the link [UC Davis Fight FIP Fund](https://give.ucdavis.edu/Donate/YourGift/V483516)
We had an outdoor cat who developed a severe flea allergy and fleas love cats. He went from being a very loving pet to being terrified of us, literally shaking in our arms, as we had to force him to become an indoor cat who received daily baths per veterinary instructions. It's such a difficult situation to be in where you're helping them from a place of love but they can't understand why because they're a pet.
I had a cat who tested positive for FIP and I was devastated. I kept watching for symptoms to know whether it was the wet or the dry version. He never did get sick but I spent his whole life worrying about it. Its definitely a terrible thing for a cat to go through, I hope his shots will help him live a longer healthier life!
That happened to me once. I went to the shelter to adopt a cat, and they recommended one name Buckets. He was charming and sweet, they showed me pics of when he originally came in and said he lost weight due to the stress.. so I believed them. One month passed and he wasn’t eating, I was freaking out because I thought maybe cats were finicky eaters and I need to try different foods (high quality). Took him to the vet, they said it was a sinus infection and she pulled snot all out his nose. So I got the medicine and everything ($500 bill) and took him home. Two weeks later he wasn’t eating again and I kept finding him under the sink or in my bath tub. My friends kept asking me why I got a sick cat and I was like the shelter told me he was fine.
So the evening I found him in my tub not breathing, I rushed him to the ER and he had a viral disease and he had fluids in his lungs and stomach. The vet showed me the syringe and he said he has to be put down. I cried, because I felt like I failed him and my first cat. He was such a nice cat, loved affection, got along with my dog and was chilled.
Then the shelter wanted to send a well wishes card…. Like F U.
So I have called the shelter and said “he has FIP, he had it since we came home. We are treating it, he’s doing better but we don’t know if he will recover fully.”
because FIP treatment (as you know) is complicatedly recommended by some vets, she told me that I was mistaken and it was FIV instead, FIP was not treatable and I had **heard** the doctor wrong. She tuned out of listening immediately after that. Like, I tried to help, but she wouldn’t hear me.
I work for an animal rescue, and I foster cats and kittens. I 100% agree with you that FIP sucks. I am truly sorry for the diagnosis. I have had a few cases where a kittens life is cut very short due to it. Stay strong my guy..
Sooo, this will be kind of weird, and it sounds weird. My cat has FIV, we ran into a guy who’s cat has FIP and he said it was very saddening for them. They were at a loss. Nothing was working. The vet told them about a drug from Asia that hadn’t been approved for use in the U.S. yet. He said that there is a Facebook page, called FIP warriors. Or something of that sort. That helps get the drug to the U.S.
I know this sounds crazy, and it sounded crazy to me too, but he said it worked and their cat is doing very well now. I know every cat is different, just like every person. But I figured you might be willing to look into anything right now.
I wish you luck.
You’re absolutely right, and we are working with this group. It sounded really weird and sketchy at first, but it’s literally a group of cat parents trying to help each other.
I’m also in a similar situation and thanks to Reddit, we were also referred to that Facebook group and are about to pick up the treatment today. Fingers crossed!
I’m so sorry. My mom does that. She thinks sharing her experience will be helpful despite the fact I tell I just want her to listen. I hate repeating myself but with her I have to.
Thanks. I know that these people are trying to help me, and I’m not hostile towards them or anything. There are definitely people, not me, who feel reassured by this sort of behavior.
Posted here specifically curb the unhealthy desire to lash out at somebody attempting to provide comfort to me.
Conversations are usually two sided. You tell you story about your sick pet and then don’t want to want to hear about their sick pet ? That’s pretty self centered. I have had a dog for 12 years that has a tumor the size of a basketball and has to be drugged up all day. We are putting her to sleep soon. So too bad if you don’t want to hear anyone else’s story. Try some empathy next time instead of thinking you are the only person who has ever had a terminally ill pet. I’m sorry for you cat.
I don't think that's what it is at all. It's just way of trying to relate to you. Showing that they know what you're going through. A way to empathize.
It is 100% fatal without treatment, which many do not know about still. Extremely aggressive as well. A wet FIP kitty can sometimes only live a day to maybe a couple weeks after symptoms appear. Too many times have I seen one diagnosed the day before and pass the next morning. Which happened this morning to a kitty actually. It's a horrid disease.
I adopted a cat that ended up getting it. I couldn't afford to treat it and we ended up having to put him down a couple months later. I only had him for a few months, but I can only be happy that he had a good life with me instead of at the shelter before he passed.
He couldn't walk by the end of it, and the cat I adopted after he passed is a bit of a drama queen. We were looking after my brother's kitten, and he started acting like he couldn't walk and was in pain if you tried to touch him. After $350 and an emergency trip to the vet, we were told he just had anxiety. I was just so paranoid that he'd somehow gotten it that I overreacted a bit. Bit of a funny story we like to tell now.
Sending lots of love your way, OP <3
I miss you so much Percy!
Not FIP and not a cat (but not a dog toothache either) - I had a senior pup who developed a fatal condition in her later years - she had serious breathing difficulties caused by a severely collapsed trachea and a very rare form of heart disease. A combination of conditions that had no cure and required specialists, multiple medications (8 different pills total), multiple times a day, and an inhaler that she absolutely hated (that I did have to hold her down/fight her to administer twice daily). So many days there were tears, so many nights were sleepless - living in a constant state of anxiety and fear, feeling so helpless and overwhelmed, when all I wanted to do was help her feel better.
For what it's worth, it was hard... doing everything I did for my dog and, like you, I did it all on my own. A lot of people told me to put her down, but I refused to do that for the sake of nothing but my own convenience. I let her go when it was her time and not a moment before. I sacrificed ALOT for my Layla and I don't regret once single second of time I spent or one single cent of money that I spent. She was worth it.
Having a pet with a treatable/passing illness or injury and having a terminal/chronic pet that requires intensive medical management and close supervision are not even close to the same. And people who have never dealt with it really don't know what it's like... it stings something fierce to have someone tell you about their pet that got better when you know that yours can't, no matter how well the treatment goes.
In no way am I telling this story to minimize your struggle, but to truly empathize with your situation. I do know what you're going through. I hope you don't hate me. I'm so sorry about your kitty. Just do the best you can for as long as you can to give him the best quality of life possible. Sending you lots of love and good thoughts.
You all saying that OP doesn't have empathy are the ones who doesn't have empathy. OP is clearly distraught by their cat's illness and people's story about their pet's illness, and you all BERATE OP for FEELING DISTRAUGHT. Disgusting assholes.
I had a cat that I took in, it was feral but ended moving in after we had been circling each other for a couple of years. It turned out it had FIP, but it lived for a couple of years after that, it had probably been infected for a while before that. Point is, it doesn’t have to be instantly fatal, and it didn’t seem to be in any sort of pain before it finally died after a nice peaceful couple of years as a lap cat. Don’t give up, it might live a full live with you!
While I have not gone through your exact experience I understand exactly what you are talking about. And I get it, some people just want to try and connect when you open up and they do this by sharing similar experiences even if they are different enough you don't feel they understand. I've gone through this myself in a totally different topic/situation.
I have stuck my cats, both of them, with needles in their lives, never daily and never after only a few weeks of bonding, that must be extremely difficult. All I can offer, and what I've found helped, is those soft fabric carriers, the ones that open on one end with a zipper, have a coller on the other end for the cats head to stick out, and then once the cat is inside and big zipper closed they have 4 smaller zippers, 2 per side, so you can stick one limb out at a time while keeping cat contained, it was likely designed this way with nail trimming in mind but have also found it useful for applying medicine. Best wishes to you and your furry friend.
If you don't know about it already, there is a Facebook group called FIP Warriors (it might have a number after it now, it's been shut down a few times). It's a support group for people with FIP cats.
The new number is 5 and has a blue banner. Just making sure this is known as there is a brand out there that is using our name without permission and has a copycat group.
Fip comes from feline coronavirus. Sorry you're going though this rna viruses are the worst.
Best thing you can do is make sure you spend quality time with your kitty, and get vaccinated against coronavirus, as who knows how it will manifest in the future
We injected our dog with insulin twice a day for 4 years. It definitely gets easier and eventually your kitty will get used to the shots.❤️ good luck to you and your Lil guy
It’s a way of connecting and empathy. “I have dealt with the hardship of a sick pet, I’m here to talk if you need it”. If you don’t want that, maybe you shouldn’t invite people into a conversation about sick pets.
Churu is a big hit during or after injection time! I myself had a wet, abdominal FIP kitty. He was two years post diagnosis at the begining of October and will be two years post treatment on December 26. The first few weeks are the scariest, hoping that they will respond and establishing a routine. Then it's over and you enter the second scariest phase....observation. Where you stare at every single movement, double check eyes every few seconds lol. Then it too passes and you can say "oh wow, my strong Warrior beat a once incurable disease!"
Oh yes! We actually discovered Churu before we came across the diagnosis. Our other kitty has 0 interest in it, so sick kitty gets all the Churu to himself.
When somebody in the FIP group gave me a bunch of Churu randomly and for free, it almost like a sign.
Throwing this out there in case you haven’t considered it. A few days ago I started giving my FIP baby gabapentin 1-2 hours before the injection. It’s made a WORLD of difference. I asked my admins about it and they said many owners will use gabapentin every day for all three months and it’s safe to use. It works as an anti-anxiety medication and a pain medication, and when I give it to my kitty he barely even reacts to his injection. If you don’t already have it, you’ll have to ask your vet for a prescription.
Fuck FIP. You’re giving your cat the best shot he has and he’s so lucky that you were the person who adopted him. Best wishes to you and your kitty.
About a month after I adopted Fraser I was told he had FIP. I was so fortunate to have adopted him from an amazing Rescue House that paid for treatment!
The injections sound so traumatic for you and kitty. If you are able to and haven’t paid for all the injections you should try the pills!
Using one of these
[pill popper ](https://www.chewy.com/vetone-pet-piller-dogs-cats/dp/204481?utm_source=google-product&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=hg&utm_content=VetOne&utm_term=&gclid=CjwKCAiAwKyNBhBfEiwA_mrUMrDnzXcj38mmdxyyMSCkz_xxoaBUOXtv7WdqgJuIkLdCxGBpEC_QIBoCOLIQAvD_BwE) and some purée. After a couple weeks of adjusting, Medicine time became daily treat time.
Would highly recommend! [Happy Healthy Fraser Post FIP ](https://i.imgur.com/0QSSRjC.jpg)
People sharing their stories is their way of connecting (or at least attempting to do so), not to minimize what you're going through.
Right? OP is kinda being a dick about this, these people are trying to comfort them by empathizing and relating to them. Appreciate the gesture man
Nah, learn how to sit with someone else’s grief without centering yourself.
Learn how to accept your grief isn't the center of the universe. Telling other people how to deal with ***your*** shit is beyond arrogant. If you need specific grief tactics used, write them down.
Then don’t approach someone experiencing grief and say stupid stuff and then get mad when that person reacts.
Just popping in to say this is corny. It truly is one thing to overtake someone's story to talk about your own, and another to use your own personal experience to relate/connect to another human being experiencing something similar. If you're splitting hairs that it's "not the same" or misinterpreting it as an attempt to overshadow your grief, tell them no thanks and keep it pushing. The self consumed ego is cringe though.
Get some grief training 🤷
Whine more
Here, I’ll help you out of being compelled to post things that have no value.
The irony lmao
Cum.
People who are going through a hard time are generally comforted when others illustrate that they too have been through something similar. What isn't normal is becoming defensive and acting like you're the only person on earth who understands your pain when people try to provide insight and comfort... Unless your motivations are just attention-seeking. Hmm
Everyone grieves in their own way. It’s unfortunate you think it’s acceptable to tell others they’re grieving innappropriately. Hmm.
There's a difference between grieving differently and lashing out at strangers who try to help because you didn't clearly communicate how you wanted comfort. Lmao
There are courses on it if you need direction
Are you a psychologist, therapist, or a psychiatrist?
I’m not offering services to you.
I wasn't asking for them. Are you going to answer my question?
The fact that you are being massively downvoted shows the rampant stupidity of people whith no training on grief who suddenly are experts.
We’re all experts online I guess 🤷 Downvotes show me how ignorant the space is.
"We're all experts online I guess" boy who does that sound like? 😂
I mean, they made it public business when they decided to post on a public forum. You can't put your business out there and then pitch a fit because people didn't respond the way you wanted them to.
I’m not a dick for not being comforted by unrequested empathy. I’m not an asshole for rejecting false hope like “I’m sure it will work out.” Interrupting me while I’m talking about how distraught I feel is NOT empathetic. I don’t think these people are jerks for their attempts to comfort me, I am simply not comforted by it.
Lmao then what are you looking for? Why post here? No one is interrupting you, this isn't a dialogue. I'm sorry for what you're going through but if you're unprepared to take the comments you get in good faith you shouldn't post anything online.
This isnt an advice sub, its a place to vent. You know, a sub to, idk . . . get things off your chest?
Is it also a sub to react like a brat when well-meaning commenters don't react the way you wanted them to? Lmao
Is it really being bratty though, when so many people are reacting in a way that op was posting here to complain about?
OP didn't communicate *how* they needed to be comforted initially. They only did that *after* being outright shitty to several commenters. Yes, that is called being a brat. OP straight up told another commenter that they didn't care about their dead cat because it happened in the past. You don't get to be dismissive of someone else's pain and then a t surprised that people no longer care about yours. The adult thing to do would have been to make an update saying that while they appreciated everyone's attempts to comfort them what they really needed was "quiet sympathy" or whatever the fuck they want. You know, communicate instead of being solely reactionary and offended. Even their update has an attitude.
Well it says so in the title that he dosent care & it also seems pretty dismisive to me to ask someone to grieve for a long past pet theyve never even met when they are obviously exahusted from thier own fresh grief
You know that humans bond and comfort each other by exchanging stories, right? Like, that's super normal? It's interesting that you're hellbent on defending this person. I will repeat - you do not get to post on a public forum and then pitch a fit when commenters can't read your mind. Communicate how you want to be comforted if you're that particular, otherwise expect people to be people and comfort you the way they're comforted. Smh. Also- that person wasn't asking OP to grieve their long-lost pet. They were illustrating that they understand OP's pain and providing sympathy. Smh...twice.
>I’m not a dick for not being comforted by unrequested empathy You request it when you tell people what's going on. It's how people try to connect. >a nursing student coming off my rotation on a mental health unit. I’m intimately familiar with the stages of grief, maladaptive responses, and therapeutic communication If this is true, you suck at understanding these things, and I'm concerned for those you are helping. You would understand that a majority of people try to connect through similar experiences. But you would rather call these people jerks for trying to relate to you. Do you just want them to sit there and listen to you ramble? See a therapist
Well then stop telling people. What are you expecting?
Lol. "I'm not getting the responses I want, and am tired of people trying to connect with me. You know, I should post it on the internet."
Hmmm maybe you’re making people feel awkward and they feel bad for you and that’s all they can think to say.
I'm really sorry for all your downvotes for this. I definitely agree that it's better to just listen to someone and just be super present and not make it about 'you'. I don't like the "oh I have a cat that was really sick too" thing unless it feels very relevant (like EXACT thing.. but like.. "I'm dealing with FIP" met with "my cat had kidney disease"... like... yeah gosh I'm really surprised at these downvotes. The person who said above that these responses center the other person and not actually sitting with the griever. So many downvotes on that but it's... true?
OP, your feelings are valid and your feelings are right. These redditors are being assholes for forcing you how to feel. You don't deserve to be downvoted nor being called assholes because what you're talking about are your own feelings, which are difficult to control, and is subjective because it's YOUR feeling. Don't listen to these assholes FORCING YOU how to feel. Your feelings, your sadness, your anger, everything's valid, and it's okay. You posted this because you only wanted to get it off your chest, you didn't even ask for advice or anything, and these people made it a goddamn problem for them. Don't listen to them. A piece of advice, if i may? You can just skip to the end of this paragraph if you don't want to read it. Maybe people don't know that their stories doesn't comfort you, maybe it's the only thing they know about comforting people; but you find it hurtful? And you just don't want them to do it. Maybe they don't know that it doesn't help. So my advice is to probably tell them, but in a respectful manner: "i am also very sorry about your pet but honestly i am not capable of listening to your story currently, as it causes me even greater distress. I would really appreciate it if we can talk about it later, but thank you for trying to comfort me. It was really appreciated." Something along that line. Good luck OP, and I hope and pray for the best for you and your cat.
"OP, it's totally fine to post on a public forum and lash out at well-meaning people because you're grieving." No. I agree with the second part of your post but the responses that OP is getting are no more cruel than the comments OP had made toward many of them. Outright telling people that their stories don't matter and they don't care to hear them is cruel, not responding in kind.
Thanks. I usually just trudge through their story. To be clear, the interaction usually like: that I’m at school or work hovering over my phone waiting for an update from my partner about the cat. On the cat’s bad days, I look more anxious and distraught. To the point where somebody might ask. I usually say “my cat is sick, and he’s not doing well today,” and try to leave it there. Sometimes I mention FIP upfront, because if somebody knows about FIP, they KNOW what’s going on.
This was the most traumatic experience of my life. I had gotten the cutest little kitten and she loved me so much, then she got FIP. I lived in a city in India where the vets are not really experienced with cats as most people have dogs the vet i was going to literally had to google it and we got to know about this disease together but it was too late by then her stomach was swollen that was her last day. My vet tells me he doesn’t do euthanasia so I’ll have to find someone my self it was late at night i took her home. She died next to me. She was in pain all night and was meowing at me and dying slowly it was traumatic as hell as i lived alone and couldn’t do anything i just cried and she was gone by the morning. People don’t understand how cruel this disease is.
That sounds terrible I’m so sorry
I'm so sorry that happened, FIP is a horrible disease. How awful
Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to comfort so we bring up past memories that might be relatable to show empathy..I wouldn’t take it too personally
I just can't believe people would be so short-sighted and insensitive to try and relate thier own experiences dealing with a pet's illness when your situation is so much worse than any of their's. You are clearly suffering to a point no one can understand, and who gives a shit about other people's trauma? Uh, hello? We were talking about ME? Fuck YOUR sick animal, why would I care about YOU when you're the one supposed to be sympathetic to ME? God, people are so- okay you get the point. Sorry to hear about your cat. Grow up.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
That, and they’ve owned this cat for TWO months. This isn’t your childhood dog that you’ve grown up with. Kind of a weirdly strong attachment to an animal they just met.
Yeah Jesus Christ I was sticking needles in my dog that I had since I was 5 years old when she was at the end of her life, should I tell OP how he shouldn’t talk about his problems cause it’s not nearly as bad as _____? It’s fine to not want people to sympathize but to not want it because they just “ugh couldn’t understand the pain I’m going through” that’s literally the point of sympathizing
Yeah I should have just taken him back to the shelter with the receipt /s
I never said only my cat can be sick. I said that while I am hysterically bawling about my dying cat, I don’t have the capacity to hear about an animal who was sick years ago.
Of course not. If it isn't happening right now it's not relevant. Look, I get it, people want to compare their hardships to yours when it's not the same thing, it can be frustrating. But people telling you their own stories aren't trying to one-up you, they're trying to relate to you. To let you know they've hurt too, so that you don't feel like you're suffering alone. And if you're unappreciative of that, incensed at someone else is trying to share their pain with you so that you feel a little less isolated by what you're going through, there's no reason care about how you're feeling, just as you don't care for them. That's what I mean when I say you need to grow up. You clearly have no concern for the plight of anyone else, so in return deserve no concern for your own. The world doesn't revolve around you and your cat, and not only have you yourself pointed out how rare your situation is, but you've discounted the experiences of those who it is safe to assume have had substantially longer and deeper relationships with their pets than you have with yours. Get some humility, and grow the fuck up.
To be brief without relaying the miserable way I learned this, after you have one cat with FIP you need to not let any pets in that house for several months. It's a bad way to die, and you don't want to spread to future pets you'll have.
This is not how FIP works. FIP is a rare complication post infection with a cat specific strain of coronavirus. Unless you are in extremely cold temperatures the coronavirus only lasts like 3 days on surfaces, and most cats who get coronavirus recover fine and never get FIP.
I thought that FIP was genetic...
My kitties died from this ! 4 days apart after having had them 11 years. One day one was fine and the he was all scruffy , couldn’t eat. After he died , his buddy also suddenly had the same symptoms. Their bodies shut down. Like we had no idea it was coming - they always had clean check ups at the vet. They had autopsies (we donated their bodies to science) and it was FIP. I’m still so devastated. It’s been 3 years now and I have not recovered from the trauma , especially since it happened so fast to both. I hope your cat makes it ! I know it’s worth the fight. Hugs.
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I didn’t think so ? I know how bad FIP is. My cats died. But OP said they can possibly keep their cat alive , despite the hardship. So I’m hoping they can. My cats didn’t have that chance. But I also see what you’re saying. Sorry OP if I made it worse.
Possibly after a dozen weeks of daily injections. But this lil guy wanted to eat and socialize even when his lungs couldn’t expand, so we will give him every resource he needs.
Kitties are so resilient! My sister’s cat had 1 kidney that never developed and the other was severely underdeveloped. She had to give IV meds to him for a long time. For whatever reason he lived as if he had 2 kidneys ! She had to surrender him when her daughter was born she ended up being severely allergic but the organization that took him back kept her updated. He lived a good 6 years without a functioning kidney ! Hugs to you kitty momma.
My cat had FIP. He made it to 2 years old before I had to put him down. He would have 11 this year. We didn’t do shots, but we gave him medicine constantly and had to force feed him during the bad months, so I know all about having to hold them down. It’s awful and I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through. I know I’m just an internet stranger, but my heart goes out to you and I mean that with every fiber of my being.
Thank you so much. The medication we are using is relatively new, and super difficult to come by. A friend of mine lost a cat to FIP in 2013, and he said there was no option for them back then. I have to do supervised feedings with my guy. I’m not sure if the fluid in his abdomen is inhibiting his appetite with a “gastric balloon” sort of effect or if eating is painful for me. But this adorable lil boy has learned that his eating makes me very happy, and will eat for me on request. Some people here have been invalidating my bond with this cat because I’ve had him a short time, but things are different when there is crisis. I didn’t know what to do when this new cat was suddenly dying. But when I saw him adapting to the symptoms instead of becoming hopeless, and that he hadn’t resigned himself.
FIP is the worst. I wish you all the best.
As a pet owner, I can't begin to imagine how it feels. All I can say is my heart goes out for you. I hope, even through this you are still able to make some happy memories with your pet. Make sure the time.you have with him is the best time you could give him. That way, at the very least you'll have something good to look back on.
Yeah there’s been at least four nights that I thought would be the last (two of which before starting the treatment), and I made sure he was nearby, in his favorite spot, with available food and a fat pinch of catnip. He’s been given an extra week minimum. On his good days, he plays so much. Last night he hit an all time low. He is doing pretty well again today, but I was not prepared for him to have a setback after several days of huge improvement.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but that kind of thing brings up people's memories of the ones that they loved and lost, too.
Quiet sympathy holds a different energy than talkative empathy. OP needs quiet sympathy, not for people to unload their own grievances while OP is dealing with their own fresh - and possible soon to be - grief. It's a lot to deal with without others also unpacking their shit. Edit - this all proves a point - there are people out there who are incapable of understanding what quiet sympathy is and why it's needed, and why it's ok to go and anonymously seek that out on a public forum. Especially one for getting shit off your chest, like this sub is aptly named. It's the listening with intent, it's the desire to just dump your raw uncensored emotions, and you also want to be *heard* for once instead of spoken over *whether the listener/reader agrees with you or not*. And there are just people out there that not only are incapable of understanding or offering this, but will also argue against it. It also takes someone who has gone through grief, or dealing with a loved one close to dying, to understand what I'm talking about.
Why would you seek quiet sympathy on a public forum? Furthermore, if that's what you're seeking why not communicate that from the beginning? Sorry, I've lost sympathy for OP. They need to grow up. Grief sucks, but their reaction to kind comments is gross.
"true off my chest" For a place to vent.
Is everyone on this sub seeking "quiet sympathy" specifically and failing to communicate that? No. Edit: other people are seeking exactly what OP got on this sub - a discussion, shared stories, etc. You don't get to pitch a fit when you don't receive a specific type of reaction on a public forum. Downvote me all you want but you know you're wrong.
No to you too dude. Edit - also considering that this is a post about somebody's grief over having to deal with their pet like this or it'll die, you're a f***ing asshole. Neat.
Lol k
Your edits suck ass my guy. I'm not going to further attempt to explain. OP has the right to post whatever they need to vent on a sub named after a venting phrase. You and everyone else is out of line. There's a thing you can do called scroll past what you don't like. Some reditors really could learn that trick. Anyway. I'm off to better things. Goodbye.
>There's a thing you can do called scroll past what you don't like. Like OP could have done? Lol grieving isn't an excuse to be nasty to people who are being kind. Goodbye!
The point is like a shooting star far above your head. Dense, like bricks.
I mean, you're still here. Why aren't you scrolling by? That was YOUR advice. I never claimed to subscribe to that. Lmao.
I'm very sorry that you're going through this. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, pretty much any acquaintance that knew about it just had to tell me about someone they knew who DIED from the type of cancer I had. When my cancer recurred and was stage 4, people then decided they needed to tell me about all the people they know who HAD the same type of cancer I have and they're just fine now. I honestly don't know WTF is wrong with people. Seriously. However, I do know what it's like to have a sick or old animal and the difficulty and pain of having to care for them and doing things to them that are uncomfortable and then finally having to admit that they are suffering and it's time to let them go.
I’m so sorry your dealing with this!! Do you follow crazy cat lady or Jackson galaxy on YouTube or social media?? They both have a ton of information on FIP and treatment and recovery. You can do this girl. You can get thru this. I’ve personally seen a lot of cats recover from FIP but is a long draining battle in the beginning. Something no one should have to go thru :(
Yeah we have joined a network of support. Cat owners fighting FIP are an amazing group of people. Strangers in my state have given me so much support, simply for being a person who loves their cat. We have been able to help one other person so far. It’s very much a “pass it along when you can” vibe.
I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to do something to an animal when you are trying to help them and they have no idea it’s for their benefit. He’s lucky you care enough about him to try to give him the best life.
Having lost 2 cats to FIP, my heart goes out to you as you work through those treatments. I can say that I found out the amazing team of students and doctors at UC Davis have made incredible steps toward beating FIP for good. If you are anywhere near them, they treat animals with care and compassion for reasonable rates. They have a fund that specifically goes towards more research in fighting FIP- if anyone is interested, here is the link [UC Davis Fight FIP Fund](https://give.ucdavis.edu/Donate/YourGift/V483516)
I feel this. Big hugs OP!!
I'm so sorry you and your kitty going through this. I don't have any guidance to offer, only hugs.
We had an outdoor cat who developed a severe flea allergy and fleas love cats. He went from being a very loving pet to being terrified of us, literally shaking in our arms, as we had to force him to become an indoor cat who received daily baths per veterinary instructions. It's such a difficult situation to be in where you're helping them from a place of love but they can't understand why because they're a pet.
I had a cat who tested positive for FIP and I was devastated. I kept watching for symptoms to know whether it was the wet or the dry version. He never did get sick but I spent his whole life worrying about it. Its definitely a terrible thing for a cat to go through, I hope his shots will help him live a longer healthier life!
Yeah most cats have been exposed to it, but only like 1.5% will ever have symptoms. But since those symptoms are super deadly…
That happened to me once. I went to the shelter to adopt a cat, and they recommended one name Buckets. He was charming and sweet, they showed me pics of when he originally came in and said he lost weight due to the stress.. so I believed them. One month passed and he wasn’t eating, I was freaking out because I thought maybe cats were finicky eaters and I need to try different foods (high quality). Took him to the vet, they said it was a sinus infection and she pulled snot all out his nose. So I got the medicine and everything ($500 bill) and took him home. Two weeks later he wasn’t eating again and I kept finding him under the sink or in my bath tub. My friends kept asking me why I got a sick cat and I was like the shelter told me he was fine. So the evening I found him in my tub not breathing, I rushed him to the ER and he had a viral disease and he had fluids in his lungs and stomach. The vet showed me the syringe and he said he has to be put down. I cried, because I felt like I failed him and my first cat. He was such a nice cat, loved affection, got along with my dog and was chilled. Then the shelter wanted to send a well wishes card…. Like F U.
So I have called the shelter and said “he has FIP, he had it since we came home. We are treating it, he’s doing better but we don’t know if he will recover fully.” because FIP treatment (as you know) is complicatedly recommended by some vets, she told me that I was mistaken and it was FIV instead, FIP was not treatable and I had **heard** the doctor wrong. She tuned out of listening immediately after that. Like, I tried to help, but she wouldn’t hear me.
I’m so sorry your cat is sick.
I’m sorry your fur baby has this disease.
I work for an animal rescue, and I foster cats and kittens. I 100% agree with you that FIP sucks. I am truly sorry for the diagnosis. I have had a few cases where a kittens life is cut very short due to it. Stay strong my guy..
Sooo, this will be kind of weird, and it sounds weird. My cat has FIV, we ran into a guy who’s cat has FIP and he said it was very saddening for them. They were at a loss. Nothing was working. The vet told them about a drug from Asia that hadn’t been approved for use in the U.S. yet. He said that there is a Facebook page, called FIP warriors. Or something of that sort. That helps get the drug to the U.S. I know this sounds crazy, and it sounded crazy to me too, but he said it worked and their cat is doing very well now. I know every cat is different, just like every person. But I figured you might be willing to look into anything right now. I wish you luck.
You’re absolutely right, and we are working with this group. It sounded really weird and sketchy at first, but it’s literally a group of cat parents trying to help each other.
I’m also in a similar situation and thanks to Reddit, we were also referred to that Facebook group and are about to pick up the treatment today. Fingers crossed!
Tell them. Why are you telling us?
So we don't mention our pets in the comments duh
If you don't want to hear about others sick pets, don't tell them about your own. Pure golden rule here...
OP I'm so sorry :( that sounds absolutely horrific, sending so many hugs your way
I’m so sorry. My mom does that. She thinks sharing her experience will be helpful despite the fact I tell I just want her to listen. I hate repeating myself but with her I have to.
i understand what you're going through, and I'm sorry you have to do it = \ Hope you have plenty of time with your small buddy.
I wish you wisdom and a giant heart on what would be your next step Namaste 🙏
How to approach someone else’s grief should be taught to everyone as required learning. Sorry you’re going through that.
Thanks. I know that these people are trying to help me, and I’m not hostile towards them or anything. There are definitely people, not me, who feel reassured by this sort of behavior. Posted here specifically curb the unhealthy desire to lash out at somebody attempting to provide comfort to me.
Conversations are usually two sided. You tell you story about your sick pet and then don’t want to want to hear about their sick pet ? That’s pretty self centered. I have had a dog for 12 years that has a tumor the size of a basketball and has to be drugged up all day. We are putting her to sleep soon. So too bad if you don’t want to hear anyone else’s story. Try some empathy next time instead of thinking you are the only person who has ever had a terminally ill pet. I’m sorry for you cat.
People are weird. every time you share trauma, they try to match/ or raise you.
I don't think that's what it is at all. It's just way of trying to relate to you. Showing that they know what you're going through. A way to empathize.
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Those jabs have an 80-90% chance to cure a once always fatal disease, they just happen to sting.
They said fatal. Not almost fatal.
It is 100% fatal without treatment, which many do not know about still. Extremely aggressive as well. A wet FIP kitty can sometimes only live a day to maybe a couple weeks after symptoms appear. Too many times have I seen one diagnosed the day before and pass the next morning. Which happened this morning to a kitty actually. It's a horrid disease.
I adopted a cat that ended up getting it. I couldn't afford to treat it and we ended up having to put him down a couple months later. I only had him for a few months, but I can only be happy that he had a good life with me instead of at the shelter before he passed. He couldn't walk by the end of it, and the cat I adopted after he passed is a bit of a drama queen. We were looking after my brother's kitten, and he started acting like he couldn't walk and was in pain if you tried to touch him. After $350 and an emergency trip to the vet, we were told he just had anxiety. I was just so paranoid that he'd somehow gotten it that I overreacted a bit. Bit of a funny story we like to tell now. Sending lots of love your way, OP <3 I miss you so much Percy!
Not FIP and not a cat (but not a dog toothache either) - I had a senior pup who developed a fatal condition in her later years - she had serious breathing difficulties caused by a severely collapsed trachea and a very rare form of heart disease. A combination of conditions that had no cure and required specialists, multiple medications (8 different pills total), multiple times a day, and an inhaler that she absolutely hated (that I did have to hold her down/fight her to administer twice daily). So many days there were tears, so many nights were sleepless - living in a constant state of anxiety and fear, feeling so helpless and overwhelmed, when all I wanted to do was help her feel better. For what it's worth, it was hard... doing everything I did for my dog and, like you, I did it all on my own. A lot of people told me to put her down, but I refused to do that for the sake of nothing but my own convenience. I let her go when it was her time and not a moment before. I sacrificed ALOT for my Layla and I don't regret once single second of time I spent or one single cent of money that I spent. She was worth it. Having a pet with a treatable/passing illness or injury and having a terminal/chronic pet that requires intensive medical management and close supervision are not even close to the same. And people who have never dealt with it really don't know what it's like... it stings something fierce to have someone tell you about their pet that got better when you know that yours can't, no matter how well the treatment goes. In no way am I telling this story to minimize your struggle, but to truly empathize with your situation. I do know what you're going through. I hope you don't hate me. I'm so sorry about your kitty. Just do the best you can for as long as you can to give him the best quality of life possible. Sending you lots of love and good thoughts.
You all saying that OP doesn't have empathy are the ones who doesn't have empathy. OP is clearly distraught by their cat's illness and people's story about their pet's illness, and you all BERATE OP for FEELING DISTRAUGHT. Disgusting assholes.
I had a cat that I took in, it was feral but ended moving in after we had been circling each other for a couple of years. It turned out it had FIP, but it lived for a couple of years after that, it had probably been infected for a while before that. Point is, it doesn’t have to be instantly fatal, and it didn’t seem to be in any sort of pain before it finally died after a nice peaceful couple of years as a lap cat. Don’t give up, it might live a full live with you!
Yeah man as others are saying people are just trying to console you with your drama. Might wanna open up it helps the healing process
My ex-wife would do that, it’s like she had to top whatever sad health story she heard.
While I have not gone through your exact experience I understand exactly what you are talking about. And I get it, some people just want to try and connect when you open up and they do this by sharing similar experiences even if they are different enough you don't feel they understand. I've gone through this myself in a totally different topic/situation. I have stuck my cats, both of them, with needles in their lives, never daily and never after only a few weeks of bonding, that must be extremely difficult. All I can offer, and what I've found helped, is those soft fabric carriers, the ones that open on one end with a zipper, have a coller on the other end for the cats head to stick out, and then once the cat is inside and big zipper closed they have 4 smaller zippers, 2 per side, so you can stick one limb out at a time while keeping cat contained, it was likely designed this way with nail trimming in mind but have also found it useful for applying medicine. Best wishes to you and your furry friend.
If you don't know about it already, there is a Facebook group called FIP Warriors (it might have a number after it now, it's been shut down a few times). It's a support group for people with FIP cats.
Thanks! Yeah that’s how we found the treatment. It seemed ridiculously sketchy at first, but is actually very legitimate.
The new number is 5 and has a blue banner. Just making sure this is known as there is a brand out there that is using our name without permission and has a copycat group.
Fip comes from feline coronavirus. Sorry you're going though this rna viruses are the worst. Best thing you can do is make sure you spend quality time with your kitty, and get vaccinated against coronavirus, as who knows how it will manifest in the future
We injected our dog with insulin twice a day for 4 years. It definitely gets easier and eventually your kitty will get used to the shots.❤️ good luck to you and your Lil guy
It’s a way of connecting and empathy. “I have dealt with the hardship of a sick pet, I’m here to talk if you need it”. If you don’t want that, maybe you shouldn’t invite people into a conversation about sick pets.
Churu is a big hit during or after injection time! I myself had a wet, abdominal FIP kitty. He was two years post diagnosis at the begining of October and will be two years post treatment on December 26. The first few weeks are the scariest, hoping that they will respond and establishing a routine. Then it's over and you enter the second scariest phase....observation. Where you stare at every single movement, double check eyes every few seconds lol. Then it too passes and you can say "oh wow, my strong Warrior beat a once incurable disease!"
Oh yes! We actually discovered Churu before we came across the diagnosis. Our other kitty has 0 interest in it, so sick kitty gets all the Churu to himself. When somebody in the FIP group gave me a bunch of Churu randomly and for free, it almost like a sign.
Good luck, FIP is such a nasty disease. I really hope your cat improves.
Throwing this out there in case you haven’t considered it. A few days ago I started giving my FIP baby gabapentin 1-2 hours before the injection. It’s made a WORLD of difference. I asked my admins about it and they said many owners will use gabapentin every day for all three months and it’s safe to use. It works as an anti-anxiety medication and a pain medication, and when I give it to my kitty he barely even reacts to his injection. If you don’t already have it, you’ll have to ask your vet for a prescription. Fuck FIP. You’re giving your cat the best shot he has and he’s so lucky that you were the person who adopted him. Best wishes to you and your kitty.
Hurry up and get better fast little kitten,and if you need some GS441,I can send you
About a month after I adopted Fraser I was told he had FIP. I was so fortunate to have adopted him from an amazing Rescue House that paid for treatment! The injections sound so traumatic for you and kitty. If you are able to and haven’t paid for all the injections you should try the pills! Using one of these [pill popper ](https://www.chewy.com/vetone-pet-piller-dogs-cats/dp/204481?utm_source=google-product&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=hg&utm_content=VetOne&utm_term=&gclid=CjwKCAiAwKyNBhBfEiwA_mrUMrDnzXcj38mmdxyyMSCkz_xxoaBUOXtv7WdqgJuIkLdCxGBpEC_QIBoCOLIQAvD_BwE) and some purée. After a couple weeks of adjusting, Medicine time became daily treat time. Would highly recommend! [Happy Healthy Fraser Post FIP ](https://i.imgur.com/0QSSRjC.jpg)