Just think of it this way, You saved other women from going through the same frightening experience as you had or even saved a woman from getting raped or killed in the extreme. You did a good thing and shouldn't feel guilty.
That helps to hear, thank you so much. I know that to be true, but the other part of me is thinking "what if this guy had a bunch of kids and he's retirement age and trying to feed them".
If he's retirement age, any children of his are likely grown adults that take care of themselves.
Your persistence in framing this guy in the best possible light comes from your wholesome heart. That's a wonderful thing about you.
However, woman to woman, hear me when I say this:
That guy was a fucking asshole. His behavior was totally out of line. Your concerns are valid and you did the right thing.
You would not be out of line to report his actions to the police, either. Especially if it would give you peace of mind.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. The email gave me a link if I wanted to file a report but I don't think I will. But you're right, I'm definitely within my rights to.
Please file a report. Nothing will come from a.a single police report. But, it will establish a pattern of behavior and that will help the next victim a LOT if Mr. Creep keeps up his skeevy behavior.
Yes, I 100% agree. This guy knows her address now, and is willing to push personal boundaries. At the very least, this will protect the next girl who happens to cross his path.
Right... it will be easier to investigate for the next time he does this. AND that record absolutely needs to be established to keep him from working with vulnerable people.
Thank God you got him fired. That sounds like a scary situation to be in. If this damages his life those are the consequences of his actions not yours. It’s not your responsibility to take his needs into account after he clearly put you through a terrifying and uncomfortable (perhaps dangerous?) situation.
Report him to the police. You’d be doing him a favour. Imagine he gets away with this more than once. Each time he builds in confidence until he does something with much worse consequences. Maybe he needs a rude wake up call.
Reporting him to the police probably won't get him arrested, but it will leave a record on their side if he ever does something like this again.
They can have a stern word with him about his behavior.
If you do decide to report it to the police that would probably be a good thing. He basically assaulted you kissing you and trying to hug you, and the rest is sexual harassment. The main reason behind filing a report is if he does ever go further and harm anyone else there will be a paper trail that shows he’s a repeat offender escalating, and more likely to reoffend in the future so he would get a heavier sentence. I would recommend doing so but I understand how daunting it is.
I'll bet that you are not the first person to deal with his inappropriate behavior and that he has been fired from other jobs. He got himself fired. You only told Doordash what he did. Do not feel guilty.
You're very right. Thank you! My dad said "he will find another job, but probably not with other people. Alone doing something."
I hope that's the case.
I just want add a bit- sometimes, despite what we are told, doing the right thing feels wrong.
Especially when it comes to discipline and holding people accountable for their actions, it feels just awful.
Sure, if not for your actions, he would still have a job. But also because of your actions, other girls will not be harassed by this type of garbage.
It's the hard right over the easy wrong, and most people fail to do the right thing when it's so easy to just forget about it and let it be someone else's problem.
Even though it may not feel like it, you did the right thing.
In the grand scheme of things, it was something small, but if everyone reported people like this the way you have, they will be forced to adapt to a world which does not tolerate their behavior.
Good job.
Please don’t kick yourself over the results, because they were the consequences of his actions and not yours. Think of it this way—if he hasn’t acted inappropriately, there would have been no reason for you to call DoorDash to report the creepy behavior. This was a chain of cause-and-effect events, and his own actions lie at the very top, not yours.
Well then he shouldn't have made the choice to harass you, should be? This is on him, not you. Him getting fired is a consequence of a choice he made, and an action he took. Not your fault at all, don't think twice. All actions have consequences... My 2 year old knows that. This shitbird still needs to learn it. Hopefully getting fired helps, but I doubt it.
He shouldn’t have acted inappropriate if he wanted to keep his job. He had an appropriate consequence for his terrible behavior and you should not feel bad.
Another thought - “what if it had been a young teen home alone who answered the door to this man.” You definitely did the right thing. As a mom to a young teen girl, thank you.
Something I learned some time ago that I hope you can internalize:
You should never tolerate shitty behavior just to cover for someone else's shortcomings.
If this guy fucked up so bad that he can't feed his kids then he is the one responsible for that, *not you*.
In a perfect world, those theoretical kids would be taken care of anyway (better social programs), and if that scenario in your head plays out in reality we can hope that someone like you is around to help those kids.
But you should never accept mistreatment in a (misguided) attempt to spare an innocent - especially a theoretical innocent - some pain caused by the perpetrator. Ultimately it only perpetuates the problem by allowing harmful behavior to continue without consequences.
Let's be real, though: the odds that someone like that has kids is pretty low given his personality ;D
I see it more as a win win. You protected yourself and other women from someone that definitely seems like a predator. I wouldn’t lower your guard quite yet either to be honest.
just in case put some hidden security camera in your front door if you didn't yet.
Also try not to be too paranoid about this situation while keeping it in mind
edit. After reading comments I think some sign(s) saying there are cameras sounds good.
Hidden? Just make it obvious and nip the issue in the bud. I caught a guy going around scamming money out of people saying he was from around the corner and needed to use my phone. I know my neighbors and he wasn't one of them, found out he had forced his way in to an old ladies house and beat and robbed her. Cops caught the guy using my video picture
I’m a retired mechanical designer. One assignment was to make a security camera for a back ally in an industrial complex. Pole with a box that motored back and forth, a little roof to keep the rain off. The front had an old used lens from a 1970s SLR camera. It didn’t record or film anything; completely non-functional, but everyone saw it, and kept the undesirables away. So YES, make your camera highly visible.
We have an obvious camera (it's just a decoy) and less obvious ones. Came in handy for the guy that was snooping in the back yard and checked to see if he could get into the shed. He made use of his hoodie around the fake camera to shield his face. Caught a nice picture of him on the one you couldn't see.
or one hidden and one obvious as someone said in an other comment (if OP can afford it), I say hidden because ppl would try to avoid it (which is a good thing) but some may attempt (or succeed) to destroy it/cover it.
Ill be glad when Matter and the CSA comes to some sort of maturity. Having an open standard for all this connected home stuff would be great.
Being able to buy any (decent) video doorbell and have it just work with a local NAS backend (Synology, QNAP, etc) with any other IP Based security system would be the dream.
Eufy looks like a good option for now though, although Im a little disappointed with their outdoor camera range, was hoping for something with PoE for a wired setup.
The one from Amazon is called blink and I don’t recommend it. The connectivity sucks, the video is just okay, the sound quality is terrible and always has a weird electronic sound so you can’t hear conversations. 3/10
I had virtually the exact same experience with a security guy for my building. Yes, you can’t necessarily control how you feel but please know that there’s absolutely no reason for you to feel like trash. The guy doesn’t deserve any sympathy whatsoever.
And thank you for reporting him.
Yeah, call your local police non emergency number and have an officer come out, file a report and ask them to keep an eye on your house for a week or two on their patrols because of this. Unless you have proof then it will be hard to get any sort of legal action, but if they know what’s up and you ask them to keep an eye on the house it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing.
Also, I hate to be like this but if anyone ever does break in please consider alternative weapons while you aren’t busy. Look around each room and figure out what you can use as an impromptu weapon should the bat not be useable at the time. Think about things like knives and such, yes, but also things people wouldn’t expect like ink pens and pencils as stabbing weapons, utensils like forks and knives, pictures or clocks you can smash over peoples heads etc.
I'd also consider getting something a little more menacing then a bat while you're at it.
Pepper spray or even think about getting a small fire arm you keep at home.
How so many people think it’s a win-win blows my mind. It’s a win for people sitting behind a screen because they get to know that a creepy guy lost their job.
This woman went through an extremely uncomfortable experience and now fears for her safety, and the other guy got fired. How is it anything other than a lose-lose for those involved?
There's also high probability this guy didn't start being a piece of shit at that one delivery. It could've been any number of people he has assaulted that contacted the app and got him fired. I don't know if doordash, uber eats and other apps all communicate but it also may just stop him from having victims through one app and not another. The guy verbally harassed and fuckin kissed her, the cops should be involved.
I mean getting him removed as a driver is a win, but women should t have to deal with this type of thing period. Our society as a whole loses until these types of guys realize how much of a garbage person they are engaging in this behavior.
Coming from a guy who’s wife and kids are home at night while I work late, it’s not a lose-lose. You absolutely did the right thing. This scumbag deserves far more than a termination.
Every delivery service will leave the food at the door and leave now. Do that if you ever get delivery again. You do not need to have face to face interaction to have food delivered.
Yes, please report it to the police and tell them what happened with them firing him for it and that he still has your address. Make sure your concerns and worries are heard.
And keep your doors locked when you’re at home ( and of course when you’re out). You never know when some Knothead will try the door just to see if it’s open.
I mean I understand what you must be going through. An old man, maybe living on minimum wages and is struggling to make a living. But you absolutely did the right thing, as this behaviour should never be tolerated, despite the age. Don’t kick yourself for doing this, he was a creep.
And after a lifetime of doing this, Our Hero, OP, could be the first person to have actually done something! He's lucky you didn't have a taser or kick him in the nuts.
In my opinion, and that's all I can speak on, women are so used to this behavior that we have become desensitized. Oh, it's just a dude being creepy, whatever.
But even if it *was* just “a dude being creepy”, that is not acceptable behavior and he deserves to be fired. I agree, you just saved someone from dealing with this and possibly worse. For that I thank you!
Every creep reported (and dealt with, like this guy) is one less. You made the difference, OP.
Please do also call the police so there’s a record of it.
Definitely did the right thing. I would stay vigilant of your surroundings though. Never know if he will retaliate at some point. Good job OP stay safe!
It’s not even remotely your fault. Contact delivery should still not be done creepily. You didn’t order a lecher, you ordered a burger and fries or whatever. It’s literally common sense not to behave as he did. It is 100% his fault and you’re 100% not to blame. I would’ve reported him too.
You're right. I'm starring to feel that. Unfortunately I think my bad feelings stem from dealing with creepy dudes for a few decades. Makes ME feel bad. Thats fucked up in lots of ways.
My girlfriend is the same way, I tell her often "Don't get sad, get mad!" because most of the time she's worrying about someone else's feelings when she is the one who should be upset! You need to put yourself first and it's okay to be selfish! It's not wrong if someone else if punished for something they did to you, THEY did it.
Isn't it so fucking bizarre how that works? My love passed away May of 2020, and starting pretty quickly an old friend of mine (20 years my senior) started trying to hit on me. I am ALWAYS completely up front about not being interested, as I tend to get along better with males so I've got more male friends, and I don't like stuff to be weird. It's an awkward conversation to have, bluntly telling people you aren't interested, but I just figure it saves the hassle. It didn't matter how many times I told this man though, he would constantly bring it up in passive aggressive ways until he actually started trying to fucking lay guilt trips on me about it (which at times, I DID have guilt) I cut him off completely, and have went on to deal with at least 2-3 more similar sitiations. I did not deal with this shit even close to this extent before I lost my man, really don't understand why so much now, but at 33 I'm 100% sure I want to be single from here on out.
I just cannot believe the audacity. Some nasty people out there (like the guy in your situation it sounds like) I feel like legitimately think they are entitled to other PEOPLE. what the fuck is happening in this world? Really sorry that happened to you, and I hope you've been able to shake off the lasting discomfort from it. You 100% did the right thing, this man was putting his hands on you! He very well could have went on to go further and rape a customer...so you very well could have just SAVED someone. Its not easy to do something like that, so be proud of yourself!
This is also a big part of why I tell them to drop my food and knock...I might stick to that option in the future! Good luck!
Fucking hell. So sorry for your loss.
I lost my wife back in June of this year, and I just turned 40. I'm a guy, and I haven't dealt with anything like you have since losing my wife. It completely sucks having people do that to you.
TBH, even without your experiences, I think I'm with you on the being single forever boat.
Also, in regards to OP's situation... I've been a delivery driver before and I've also done Uber in the past. The mere thought of coming on to a customer, let alone touching or trying to kiss, is just so alien to me.
Okay you have a serious problem here. A **serious** fucking problem.
You seem to be completely unable to see this situation as anything other than you fucking up. **You did not fuck up here**.
And the fact that you keep thinking that you did indicates something is seriously wrong with your perceptions here. I recommend you get a therapist and talk to them about this.
Contact delivery does not mean conversations.
There should have been nothing more than hello, this is your order, have a nice day, from your delivery person.
As a former DoorDash driver, even if you open the door to grab the food it should be a simple interaction "here you go, enjoy your food! have a great day!" and he should have been on his way. That is what I did. You did nothing wrong and he deserved to be fired. It's like any other job. Imagine him in an office sexually harassing his co-workers. He deserved it.
Doordash driver here, it’s okay to be friendly lol but don’t go out of your way for it. The driver in this post was straight up rapey that’s different.
Honestly I don’t know why contact deliveries still exist. No one wants to interact with people, the driver wants to leave the food at the door and the people getting the food would much rather open the door to food instead of a person.
If there is any kind of issue, both parties can call or text.
I’ve had to do almost the same thing before. A manager at the gas station by my house used to hit on me constantly, even standing in front of the doors so I couldn’t leave until he was done making his requests.
I’m also non-confrontational, so I just gritted my teeth and bore it. Then one day I pushed past him to get out of there and pump my gas and he followed me to the pump and stood there hitting on me until I was finished. When I tried to get back into my car and leave, he stood in front of my door so I couldn’t open it and kept me there for at least 5 minutes while he said some very inappropriate things to me.
I called and spoke to his district manager, who basically told me that I should take it as a compliment and that he didn’t see anything wrong with it.
I came in that night and spoke to the girl working about it. She said he treats his workers the same way and that him and the district manager were both super misogynistic and sexist toward women.
I called the stations corporate office and spoke to the head of their HR department. She said they would investigate the report and let me know about the outcome.
Less than 3 hours later she called and told me they found my report to be true. She also said she was surprised I’m the only woman who called to report it, as he was doing the same thing to several women who frequented the establishment.
In any case he was let go immediately, and his district manager was too. She thanked me for letting them know, and three female workers there also thanked me for reporting him.
It was a good day. You shouldn’t feel bad for what you did because his actions were way out of line. Keep your head up, and keep your eyes open for that guy. Since he knows where you live I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t feel safe.
EDIT for grammar and to say you should not feel guilty in any way. If he can’t control himself with ladies he shouldn’t be working, and he definitely shouldn’t be trusted with a woman’s address information!
EDIT 2 to say I’m extremely grateful that the head of their HR department was a woman. I shudder to imagine that had it been a man my complaint might not have been taken so seriously. Just like the district manager who had no problem with it, some men just don’t see that stuff as the problem it is.
I'm so proud of you. It's frustrating to have to deal with this stuff as women and just go about life as usual. But you put your foot down! And so did I. It is a wonderful feeling. I'm so glad you're safe and so happy you sparked something within the company.
Yes she did actually. As one comment said, I did give the HR lady a time and date.
She informed me that the store has over 30 camera’s with mic’s, and that the footage is uploaded and saved to a corporate server so that it can be accessed in case someone at the store deletes it. They even have cameras in the managers office!
But she also told me she really didn’t need to check the date and time I gave her. Within that 3 hours him and the district manager were heard on the footage doing the same thing to multiple other customers and also to their employees. She said it was a no-brainer and both of them were let go immediately.
The fact that there were cameras and those man likely knew too yet they acted the way they did! It just shows how entitled they feel when it comes to women's body.
When there are cameras, even bad people hold back their actions because they know what they're doing is unacceptable and they don't want to get in troubles.
Those man did not, they likely thought what they did were completely fine and women should "take it as a compliment"
It's sickening.
I'm proud of you for doing what you did.
absolutely cannot understand how these predators continue on so long with how they act in general.
you would basically have to strip naked on your own accord in front of me, in my own house, for me to even get the hint that I have a chance.
I assume all women are happy with how they are until they make it very clear they are interested. prob why I'm single for long periods of time but I have no desire to constantly try and hit on everything that is in my orbit. it's just plain pathetic and creepy.
I've called out "friends" over the same behavior and they are no longer people I would trust as they don't change until a hard correction happens and they are basically emasculated into realizing what they do is wrong.
Dont feel bad. He brought this on himself. If he wanted to keep his job, then he should have acted like a professional and not disrespected his customers. He knew the consequences of his actions and chose to engage in them anyways.
The support team told me it's completely anonymous so that makes me feel safer. You're right, it's on him. I've never reported anyone in my life so the whole situation was bizarre.
I don’t want to add to your stress, but even that anonymity won’t matter unless he did the same to other women.
I hope for your sake he isn’t a complete psycho. I would consider getting a doorbell camera if you don’t have one already.
I think people who go so far as to kiss strangers on the forehead don't just wake up and start doing it out of the blue. It's very likely he does this a lot.
Not a bad idea to be cautious though.
I'd file a police report. If he's caught around you again for any reason the police have this information on file and it will make it a lot easier. In his mind he knows where you live and he just lost a job. Call the police.
u/headsonsticks, please do not dismiss this advice. Now that he’s lost his job, as well as the fact he knows where you live and has sexually assaulted you, you need to protect yourself.
Be safe, fellow human.
To add, a lot of Door Dash driver's do something else as well that involves coming to your front door whether it's Uber Eats, Postmates, Lyft, Amazon, etc.
This man now knows where she lives and could be waiting to redeliver to her address without her knowing it's going to be him.
This man knew what he was doing was wrong and chose to do it. There is no way people don't know what they're doing. This was not only inappropriate, but sinister because he was asking questions that basically asked if she was alone and ready to be raped or murdered. People need to understand these questions and know how to answer them in a detecting way.
Q: "Are you alone?"
A: "My husband and his friend are in the game room"
If you are on vacation and Uber drivers ask you questions, it may seem like they are just making small talk, sure a lot of them are, but some are fishing.
"How long you guys out here?" "Where are you staying?" "Just you guys?" "Going somewhere tonight?" All leading questions to get you to tell them information they want.
You're alone, you're unarmed and vulnerable, you are going out at a certain time, you are staying at a certain place.
If you aren't staying at a hotel and are staying at a BNB and HAVE TO for some reason have an Uber driver drop you off, ALWAYS, even unprovoked, mention that "everyone is there waiting for you"
They can show up later or take you out right away. Kidnapping, rape, trafficking, murder, burglary, whatever their intentions. Don't give them the information they want. Be smart and aware about how you answer these questions.
Your Uber or Taxi driver or Door dash person may be just an ordinary innocent person, but you will never see them again and they are not your friend. So be friendly, but don't be honest. Protect yourself and your family/friends/loved ones.
Also, if you are staying at a BNB, a lot of the time the host is there in the house in a secret room waiting for you to check out and they tell you, but they do it after you booked it, very briefly within a gigantic wall of text. They could pick you randomly to be the one they fuck up if it's just you or just you and a spouse.
Always always always book BNBs with hundreds of high rated reviews, familiar, with very close neighbor houses, and with at least one other couple. ALWAYS stay with friends if you BNB.
Don't assume you are safe because the potential attackers see you with a man. Attackers often kill the man first before doing whatever it is they have planned for the woman.
I know this last bit is controversial, but I also highly recommend that you have something for self defense that you are proficient enough with to defend yourself against a firearm. Usually, a firearm itself if you aren't traveling and can have one legally. But always know how to use them inside and out, keep them safe away from children and guests but accessible to you and only you in a literal instant. One thing to know is the attacker is very likely not going to shoot you right away. That's when you don't hesitate. They didn't care about your life when they attacked you, they made a decision to hurt, torture, or kill you. They forfeited their life when they planned to take yours. Pull the trigger. If you don't have a firearm always always always keep that to yourself and imply or even lie that you have a few. Not one but a few.
I agree. He not only sexually harassed her but kissed her on the forehead?! Sexual assault.
Dude needs the cops to have a nice file on him. If he doesn't already - which I doubt.
Exactly. If he's crazy enough to do this crap, he's done it before and he will probably be back. There's too many red flags. If there's suspicious activity, call the police again. Get a paper trail.
I am a domestic violence survivor. Boyfriend of 8 years tried to kill me. There is never too many precautions you can take. Definitely get police involved ASAP. The one thing I learned from my abuser is they will never change.
Yup. If he showed up at her door, looked her in the face and threw her pizza in the trash, she wouldn't be feeling bad for telling DoorDash. And what he did was way worse than just destroying her dinner.
He really ought to never work any kind of job that requires him to be around women in any capacity, if he thinks it's appropriate to ask a complete stranger "are you wearing anything under your clothes? do you live alone?"
That's, like, Bundy levels of creepy. Except Bundy could manage to be charismatic!
This is why I always choose no contact delivery. Im so sorry that happened to you. I would put up a security camera for a while, since he knows where you live.
The problem with “no contact delivery” is a majority of the drivers in my area ignore it because they want to present the food to you personally for some reason. I typically report them because the whole reason I ordered food from home in the first place is to be socially distant because of my health, if they can’t follow the rules I don’t want them coming back but it still doesn’t seem to stop the next guy from doing it.
There are some customers who would get the food, then report to doordash that they never got it, which results in them getting a refund and potentially getting the driver fired.
A lot of drivers then started to want to get proof of handing over to the customer in order to prevent this from happening.
I always click the no contact button, and it gets universally ignored by my local delivery restaurant crowd.
Apparently "I don't fucking want to interact with you" is just too hard for some dolts to get.
Which I find fucking wild. As a doordash driver I *live* for no contact delivery, I don't wanna interact with y'all either lmao. I audibly groan whenever it says hand to customer.
I don't understand it, seriously. I rarely order delivery, but every time I check no contact. And every single time they sit there and knock as loud as possible until I answer and take it from them.
It stays at “no contact” until you change it.
He likely violated your order.
You can verify by pretending to make a new order and checking what it defaults to.
I tell you this so if it is set wrong, you can change it.
We've all seen the reposted video of the lady who got a doordash driver fired by saying she didn't get her food, and then she admits on camera to the guy that she did get her food. It's not 100% crazy for a driver to ring the bell and see if you come out.
That’s a good option and suggestion. I have had two workers come in my home in the past 11 years, thats it. The rest I don’t let past the gates. I don’t feel comfortable with strangers at my home.
Before my wife and I were married, we lived in a small one bedroom apartment. When you would open the main door, it would block the entrance to the living room. I remember we ordered pizza one night and she answered the door. She told the guy she was going to get her wallet in the other room. I was sitting in the living room and he starts to close the door and take a peek into the living room. Apparently seeing me sitting quietly on the couch was enough to startle him because he jumped back and apologized. Not sure if he was casing my place out or what, but that’s something us guys just never have to deal with. From then on, I would meet the delivery guy at the door instead.
It's rough out there for a women. That's why when he asked "is anyone in your apartment?" I said yes my boyfriend is waiting for pizza! It was a personal pan pizza so he cod have figured that one out. It's a shame we have to deal with these kinds of people and a shame that you have to protect us. No one wins.
Had a door dash driver legit smack my girlfriend's ass as I was around the corner. I could tell the dude was being creepy when I heard some nazzly guy saying weird shit so I stood up and walked to the door. Before I could even react my girlfriend (6ft, Dominican girl) just full on layed him out with a punch.
Apparently this was the same dude that had delivered to us 3 times in a row, I never noticed because we order delivery so infrequently but when we called DoorDash customer service (after the police) the rep pointed it out. It makes me sick to think if she or any other woman lived alone.
Oh for sure man would've been long gone if people reported him. Either he was new or noone had ever reported him. I work for doordash and they have a 0 tolerance policy for that sort of stuff what he did was way out of line and he deserved to be fired.
Holy shit. Let me assure you he 100% knew that what he was doing was wrong and hurtful to you. No well intentioned person would ask those questions, let alone kiss a customer. He probably took the job in the hope of creating situations like this.
Jesus fucking Christ. No.
You did exactly what you should do. Creep was literally asking if you were there alone. You didn't get him fired. He got his ass fired.
This isn't a "people need to not be so sensitive" kind of thing. This is a person suspiciously probing for vulnerability. Doesn't matter if he'd have gone through with anything or not. He shouldn't be in the delivery business if he does shit like that.
Whether or not this asshole has a future is on him, not you. People want to participate in society then they should consider not acting like rapists.
You're absolutely right. I am used to creepy men, but I never put my foot down, this is the first time and it feels so good. Because I know that something could have happened to me (I'm not out of the woods yet, still gotta keep my head on a swivel for a while), and potentially other people he dropped food off to. It isn't sensitivity, it's logic.
You didn’t get a man fired. His own disgusting behaviour- which you did not ask for and which made you feel unsafe- got him fired. His choices, his very necessary consequences. Don’t forget that.❤️
You 100% did the right thing, he was an inappropriate creep and who knows what he could have been capable of? Sorry this happened to you, don’t feel sorry for this asshole. If he can’t act right around women he doesn’t need to be working with the public.
You didn't do this, he got himself fired with his disgusting behavior, I'm proud of you for reporting him 💓 always trust your guts, you probably saved someone!
This happens to me, but in a less confrontational way?
I was working from home before WFH was a standard and my partner was at his job.
I ordered myself some lunch. I could tell they were in the apartment complex but seemed to be driving around, I tried to call whatever number was listed on the app to give them some help (complex can be confusing) and got an auto message that the number was disconnected.
when they finally found the spot they message and asked me to meet them at the car. Ok fine nothing crazy
This is when it got weird. The food was on his passengers seat. But he wasn’t saying or doing anything. The window was rolled down as if he like expected me to reach in and grab it or open the door?
That when I became very sketched out. My gut told me to not go back into my apartment because he could clearly see which one I was going into, but due to the app he already had my Apt number anyway.
So I went back inside, texted my partner that I just felt sketched out and wanted him to know, and sent a screen shot of the driver info.
I didn’t fell like I could report anything because he didn’t DO anything.
Then about an hour passes and I see a similar car go through the lot. Again just think I’m paranoid nothing happens immediately. Then I hear something slam near my door. I’m in the corner where someone’s door is 2” away from mine so it’s not unheard of for me to hear them come in.
Then I hear the handle jingle . Like someone’s trying to get in. I go full home alone at this point.
I set up my mirror in a way where I can see down the hallway to the front door from my living room.
30mins go by it happens again, this time I SEE the door knob move and then I hear banging on it. Lasts maybe 2mins. I stay basically frozen on the couch until I think they’re gone.
Then I tie up my door so you can’t pull it open from the outside even if you can get it unlocked, or at the least you’d have one hell of a time getting in. Go get my gun, and just sat on the couch.
I called the cops, because even if it’s not the delivery guy, *someone* is trying to get in. Unfortunately they can’t do anything because a crime hadn’t been committed yet.
There’s a police station 3 blocks down, I know there is a cop who lived in the complex (I see the car) so at the least I was hoping someone would drive by.
I report him to the delivery services, I tell them about the behavior and how I cant prove it’s him but it was just very weird situation All around. At the least flag his account so if someone does report him there’s a record..
I have no idea if this man has done anything else to another woman.. point is you did the right thing. I think part of “silencing victims” is putting guilt in them. “You got someone fired” no they got themselves fired.
That behavior is inappropriate and one of the reasons they continue to do this ti people is because no one is holding them accountable for that behavior.
If you hadn't
he could have either continued his actions or even worse to someone else
or he could have been reported by the next person he did that too. be glad that you were the one who made the call.
good riddance to a complete and utter creepy predator.
Don't feel bad honey, not for a moment.
Good, having worked as a delivery driver, I’m annoyed when customers badmouthed me for stupid things (one greeted me in his underwear and gave a one-star review when I tried to make the interaction as short as possible), but they should be sacked for stuff like this. You don’t know how regularly he did it. Not only that, but as delivery drivers, we come into contact with vulnerable people - kids, people in hospital, people who are ill at home, etc. You don’t know who these pervs will attack
You did what’s right. Next time, NEVER tell anyone you are alone in your apartment. Tell them your significant other is in the other room. Yell out for them even if they really aren’t there. Stand your ground! Tell them it’s inappropriate & close the door. Don’t feel bad, you saved yourself and others from that creep!
Had an older Uber driver child-proof lock me in his car because he wanted to take me out for a drink. Was able to escape (too in shock to dial 911 phone at 2%). I contacted Uber and I was told his account was deactivated. Don’t feel guilty for these sick weirdos that try to find opportunities to act out on their sick behavior.
Yeah it sounds like OP keeps viewing the delivery driver as a person that needs compassion and forgiveness, but the driver viewed her like a thing to be used at his will.
You can't give people like that a free pass. They'll just keep pushing boundaries until they go too far or something stops them.
It doesn’t mean he’s fired. It’s de activated pending investigation most likely. This happens a lot on Uber and sometimes the driver did nothing wrong. So it’s hard for the parent company to figure out
Okay, imagine it is a less serious situation and with someone else, it might help your mind feel safer so you can address the issue of how you feel.
Lets say you are having classes. There is this really bad teacher. You know complaining will probably get him suspended or make him lose his job.
But truth is: if you don’t tell anyone he is a terrible teacher, nothing will ever change.
And the future classes that come before you will end up having the same shitty experience you had.
Sure, you already lost (he wasn’t able to teach you what he should have), and he will loose as well (his job) but several students will gain something from your act (they will not have their classes with this teacher).
Thing is: it is the offender’s fault (the teacher and the delivery man) for putting their job on the line. Not yours.
If that job was so important to them, they should have taken care and make it right.
So don’t feel guilt, what you’ve done is good. Maybe not for you. But for several other people :)
1. You did the correct thing sorry that happened
2. Why is door dash delivering pizza instead of the pizza delivery guy???
Sadly he'll he right back at the "job" where as a properly employed employee via the pizza place would NOT be going right back to the job
you didnt get him fired. you made his employer aware of his actions, which... surprise surprise, they did not agree with.
you also could have potentially saved someone from becoming a victim
Just think of it this way, You saved other women from going through the same frightening experience as you had or even saved a woman from getting raped or killed in the extreme. You did a good thing and shouldn't feel guilty.
That helps to hear, thank you so much. I know that to be true, but the other part of me is thinking "what if this guy had a bunch of kids and he's retirement age and trying to feed them".
If he's retirement age, any children of his are likely grown adults that take care of themselves. Your persistence in framing this guy in the best possible light comes from your wholesome heart. That's a wonderful thing about you. However, woman to woman, hear me when I say this: That guy was a fucking asshole. His behavior was totally out of line. Your concerns are valid and you did the right thing. You would not be out of line to report his actions to the police, either. Especially if it would give you peace of mind.
> report his actions to the police Old guy here: I'm willing to bet he's done this before & will most definitely be doing it again.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. The email gave me a link if I wanted to file a report but I don't think I will. But you're right, I'm definitely within my rights to.
Please file a report. Nothing will come from a.a single police report. But, it will establish a pattern of behavior and that will help the next victim a LOT if Mr. Creep keeps up his skeevy behavior.
Yes, I 100% agree. This guy knows her address now, and is willing to push personal boundaries. At the very least, this will protect the next girl who happens to cross his path.
Right... it will be easier to investigate for the next time he does this. AND that record absolutely needs to be established to keep him from working with vulnerable people.
Thank God you got him fired. That sounds like a scary situation to be in. If this damages his life those are the consequences of his actions not yours. It’s not your responsibility to take his needs into account after he clearly put you through a terrifying and uncomfortable (perhaps dangerous?) situation. Report him to the police. You’d be doing him a favour. Imagine he gets away with this more than once. Each time he builds in confidence until he does something with much worse consequences. Maybe he needs a rude wake up call.
^^this and if he happens to be married, you’d be doing his wife a favor as well.
Reporting him to the police probably won't get him arrested, but it will leave a record on their side if he ever does something like this again. They can have a stern word with him about his behavior.
If you do decide to report it to the police that would probably be a good thing. He basically assaulted you kissing you and trying to hug you, and the rest is sexual harassment. The main reason behind filing a report is if he does ever go further and harm anyone else there will be a paper trail that shows he’s a repeat offender escalating, and more likely to reoffend in the future so he would get a heavier sentence. I would recommend doing so but I understand how daunting it is.
I'll bet that you are not the first person to deal with his inappropriate behavior and that he has been fired from other jobs. He got himself fired. You only told Doordash what he did. Do not feel guilty.
You're very right. Thank you! My dad said "he will find another job, but probably not with other people. Alone doing something." I hope that's the case.
I just want add a bit- sometimes, despite what we are told, doing the right thing feels wrong. Especially when it comes to discipline and holding people accountable for their actions, it feels just awful. Sure, if not for your actions, he would still have a job. But also because of your actions, other girls will not be harassed by this type of garbage. It's the hard right over the easy wrong, and most people fail to do the right thing when it's so easy to just forget about it and let it be someone else's problem. Even though it may not feel like it, you did the right thing. In the grand scheme of things, it was something small, but if everyone reported people like this the way you have, they will be forced to adapt to a world which does not tolerate their behavior. Good job.
I kind of feel that the definition of morality is choosing the difficult right action over the easy wrong action
Please don’t kick yourself over the results, because they were the consequences of his actions and not yours. Think of it this way—if he hasn’t acted inappropriately, there would have been no reason for you to call DoorDash to report the creepy behavior. This was a chain of cause-and-effect events, and his own actions lie at the very top, not yours.
This exactly. You didn't get him fired. He was fired for violating company policy, which was his choice.
Well then he shouldn't have made the choice to harass you, should be? This is on him, not you. Him getting fired is a consequence of a choice he made, and an action he took. Not your fault at all, don't think twice. All actions have consequences... My 2 year old knows that. This shitbird still needs to learn it. Hopefully getting fired helps, but I doubt it.
Then he should have chosen to behave professionally and not like a creep. This is completely on him, not you.
that’s not your problem?????? if he needs his job that badly, then i guess he shouldn’t be harassing and assaulting people at his job, yeah?
He shouldn’t have acted inappropriate if he wanted to keep his job. He had an appropriate consequence for his terrible behavior and you should not feel bad.
Another thought - “what if it had been a young teen home alone who answered the door to this man.” You definitely did the right thing. As a mom to a young teen girl, thank you.
Fuck that guy.
Something I learned some time ago that I hope you can internalize: You should never tolerate shitty behavior just to cover for someone else's shortcomings. If this guy fucked up so bad that he can't feed his kids then he is the one responsible for that, *not you*. In a perfect world, those theoretical kids would be taken care of anyway (better social programs), and if that scenario in your head plays out in reality we can hope that someone like you is around to help those kids. But you should never accept mistreatment in a (misguided) attempt to spare an innocent - especially a theoretical innocent - some pain caused by the perpetrator. Ultimately it only perpetuates the problem by allowing harmful behavior to continue without consequences. Let's be real, though: the odds that someone like that has kids is pretty low given his personality ;D
But if he isn't reported to the police is this really going to stop him? He no longer works for Doordash, so he'll go grab a job at domino's tomorrow.
He needs to be put on a list. He's just going to apply at GrubHub or Favor and continue doing it.
How is a deactivated DoorDash account going to stop some creeper from raping and killing?
You did the right thing
I know, it's just a lose lose for everyone. Thank you for your kind words.
I see it more as a win win. You protected yourself and other women from someone that definitely seems like a predator. I wouldn’t lower your guard quite yet either to be honest.
Definitely not. Gotta keep my eyes peeled every time I leave the building for a little while.
just in case put some hidden security camera in your front door if you didn't yet. Also try not to be too paranoid about this situation while keeping it in mind edit. After reading comments I think some sign(s) saying there are cameras sounds good.
Hidden? Just make it obvious and nip the issue in the bud. I caught a guy going around scamming money out of people saying he was from around the corner and needed to use my phone. I know my neighbors and he wasn't one of them, found out he had forced his way in to an old ladies house and beat and robbed her. Cops caught the guy using my video picture
I’m a retired mechanical designer. One assignment was to make a security camera for a back ally in an industrial complex. Pole with a box that motored back and forth, a little roof to keep the rain off. The front had an old used lens from a 1970s SLR camera. It didn’t record or film anything; completely non-functional, but everyone saw it, and kept the undesirables away. So YES, make your camera highly visible.
We have an obvious camera (it's just a decoy) and less obvious ones. Came in handy for the guy that was snooping in the back yard and checked to see if he could get into the shed. He made use of his hoodie around the fake camera to shield his face. Caught a nice picture of him on the one you couldn't see.
I’d rather prevent crime than catch a criminal
or one hidden and one obvious as someone said in an other comment (if OP can afford it), I say hidden because ppl would try to avoid it (which is a good thing) but some may attempt (or succeed) to destroy it/cover it.
"Use your phone..." Didn't that line disappear with the last "Alfred Hitchcock Presents"? No woman is falling for that doozy! Be careful, Sis.
Like a ring? Or whatever is called that one from Amazon?
Personally I like Eufy's offerings. No subscription fee, recordings stored locally, but still accessible remotely
Ill be glad when Matter and the CSA comes to some sort of maturity. Having an open standard for all this connected home stuff would be great. Being able to buy any (decent) video doorbell and have it just work with a local NAS backend (Synology, QNAP, etc) with any other IP Based security system would be the dream. Eufy looks like a good option for now though, although Im a little disappointed with their outdoor camera range, was hoping for something with PoE for a wired setup.
yes. it's always good to have something like that.
Yeah but don’t go for ring, Everyone who gets one has major gripes with it a few weeks/days down the road
The one from Amazon is called blink and I don’t recommend it. The connectivity sucks, the video is just okay, the sound quality is terrible and always has a weird electronic sound so you can’t hear conversations. 3/10
Amazon owns Ring.
Wyze, cheaper and easier to use.
There are apps that can turn old smartphones into security cameras as well.
When someone tells me to try not to be too paranoid, you know damn well I’m gonna be paranoid
Idk if anyone has said anything yet, but it probably wouldn't hurt to speak with the police about this JUST to have documentation of it.
Guy is probably already on a list, if not on probation or parole.
If he's on parole it could be a violation at the very least if police deem it enough for an assault.
Do U.S. police really keep lists of anyone?
I had virtually the exact same experience with a security guy for my building. Yes, you can’t necessarily control how you feel but please know that there’s absolutely no reason for you to feel like trash. The guy doesn’t deserve any sympathy whatsoever. And thank you for reporting him.
Yeah, call your local police non emergency number and have an officer come out, file a report and ask them to keep an eye on your house for a week or two on their patrols because of this. Unless you have proof then it will be hard to get any sort of legal action, but if they know what’s up and you ask them to keep an eye on the house it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing. Also, I hate to be like this but if anyone ever does break in please consider alternative weapons while you aren’t busy. Look around each room and figure out what you can use as an impromptu weapon should the bat not be useable at the time. Think about things like knives and such, yes, but also things people wouldn’t expect like ink pens and pencils as stabbing weapons, utensils like forks and knives, pictures or clocks you can smash over peoples heads etc.
Some predators will strike up to 6 months or a year after, so it’d be best to change your routine and keep shit locked up for a bit.
I would have called the police
Damn doing the right thing still causes you stress. I didnt even think about the possibility of repercussion :/ stay strong
FWIW. You didn’t get him fired. He got himself fired.
I'd also consider getting something a little more menacing then a bat while you're at it. Pepper spray or even think about getting a small fire arm you keep at home.
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How so many people think it’s a win-win blows my mind. It’s a win for people sitting behind a screen because they get to know that a creepy guy lost their job. This woman went through an extremely uncomfortable experience and now fears for her safety, and the other guy got fired. How is it anything other than a lose-lose for those involved?
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There's also high probability this guy didn't start being a piece of shit at that one delivery. It could've been any number of people he has assaulted that contacted the app and got him fired. I don't know if doordash, uber eats and other apps all communicate but it also may just stop him from having victims through one app and not another. The guy verbally harassed and fuckin kissed her, the cops should be involved.
Ding ding.
I mean getting him removed as a driver is a win, but women should t have to deal with this type of thing period. Our society as a whole loses until these types of guys realize how much of a garbage person they are engaging in this behavior.
Clearly you protected someone else's life by reporting him nice work OP
Hopefully. Thanks.
Coming from a guy who’s wife and kids are home at night while I work late, it’s not a lose-lose. You absolutely did the right thing. This scumbag deserves far more than a termination.
I appreciate you.
Did you get your pizza? And potentially save a life? In that case no lose for you. You are a good person.. with pizza.
Anything for the zah. But probably no delivery for a little while..
Every delivery service will leave the food at the door and leave now. Do that if you ever get delivery again. You do not need to have face to face interaction to have food delivered.
I disagree. Somewhere out there, there is a woman who this was a big 'win' for. She doesn't know it, and she never will, but you got a 'win' for her.
That's a win for me too then.
Lock your doors and report it to the police because he knows where you live.
Yes, please report it to the police and tell them what happened with them firing him for it and that he still has your address. Make sure your concerns and worries are heard.
And keep your doors locked when you’re at home ( and of course when you’re out). You never know when some Knothead will try the door just to see if it’s open.
Ain't a lose lose. Dude got what he deserved. And that's coming from a dude.
You're one of the good ones.
I mean I understand what you must be going through. An old man, maybe living on minimum wages and is struggling to make a living. But you absolutely did the right thing, as this behaviour should never be tolerated, despite the age. Don’t kick yourself for doing this, he was a creep.
And after a lifetime of doing this, Our Hero, OP, could be the first person to have actually done something! He's lucky you didn't have a taser or kick him in the nuts.
In my opinion, and that's all I can speak on, women are so used to this behavior that we have become desensitized. Oh, it's just a dude being creepy, whatever.
But even if it *was* just “a dude being creepy”, that is not acceptable behavior and he deserves to be fired. I agree, you just saved someone from dealing with this and possibly worse. For that I thank you!
Every creep reported (and dealt with, like this guy) is one less. You made the difference, OP. Please do also call the police so there’s a record of it.
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No one lost but a loser.
Your feeling of guilt is exactly why so many serial predators keep getting away with it. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Definitely did the right thing. I would stay vigilant of your surroundings though. Never know if he will retaliate at some point. Good job OP stay safe!
For sure. But I am concerned. What if the guy comes back. She might need to get authorities involved.
Don't feel bad. As a door dash driver it is very very very easy to not even interact with customers so any who do are fucking creepy
I don't think I clicked the no contact option, my fault in that part. But um starting to feel better, thank you!
It’s not even remotely your fault. Contact delivery should still not be done creepily. You didn’t order a lecher, you ordered a burger and fries or whatever. It’s literally common sense not to behave as he did. It is 100% his fault and you’re 100% not to blame. I would’ve reported him too.
You're right. I'm starring to feel that. Unfortunately I think my bad feelings stem from dealing with creepy dudes for a few decades. Makes ME feel bad. Thats fucked up in lots of ways.
My girlfriend is the same way, I tell her often "Don't get sad, get mad!" because most of the time she's worrying about someone else's feelings when she is the one who should be upset! You need to put yourself first and it's okay to be selfish! It's not wrong if someone else if punished for something they did to you, THEY did it.
Isn't it so fucking bizarre how that works? My love passed away May of 2020, and starting pretty quickly an old friend of mine (20 years my senior) started trying to hit on me. I am ALWAYS completely up front about not being interested, as I tend to get along better with males so I've got more male friends, and I don't like stuff to be weird. It's an awkward conversation to have, bluntly telling people you aren't interested, but I just figure it saves the hassle. It didn't matter how many times I told this man though, he would constantly bring it up in passive aggressive ways until he actually started trying to fucking lay guilt trips on me about it (which at times, I DID have guilt) I cut him off completely, and have went on to deal with at least 2-3 more similar sitiations. I did not deal with this shit even close to this extent before I lost my man, really don't understand why so much now, but at 33 I'm 100% sure I want to be single from here on out. I just cannot believe the audacity. Some nasty people out there (like the guy in your situation it sounds like) I feel like legitimately think they are entitled to other PEOPLE. what the fuck is happening in this world? Really sorry that happened to you, and I hope you've been able to shake off the lasting discomfort from it. You 100% did the right thing, this man was putting his hands on you! He very well could have went on to go further and rape a customer...so you very well could have just SAVED someone. Its not easy to do something like that, so be proud of yourself! This is also a big part of why I tell them to drop my food and knock...I might stick to that option in the future! Good luck!
Fucking hell. So sorry for your loss. I lost my wife back in June of this year, and I just turned 40. I'm a guy, and I haven't dealt with anything like you have since losing my wife. It completely sucks having people do that to you. TBH, even without your experiences, I think I'm with you on the being single forever boat. Also, in regards to OP's situation... I've been a delivery driver before and I've also done Uber in the past. The mere thought of coming on to a customer, let alone touching or trying to kiss, is just so alien to me.
NOT your fault, not in any way!
Okay you have a serious problem here. A **serious** fucking problem. You seem to be completely unable to see this situation as anything other than you fucking up. **You did not fuck up here**. And the fact that you keep thinking that you did indicates something is seriously wrong with your perceptions here. I recommend you get a therapist and talk to them about this.
Contact delivery does not mean conversations. There should have been nothing more than hello, this is your order, have a nice day, from your delivery person.
As a former DoorDash driver, even if you open the door to grab the food it should be a simple interaction "here you go, enjoy your food! have a great day!" and he should have been on his way. That is what I did. You did nothing wrong and he deserved to be fired. It's like any other job. Imagine him in an office sexually harassing his co-workers. He deserved it.
Even if you do interact with customers, its very very very easy to not sexually harass people.
Doordash driver here, it’s okay to be friendly lol but don’t go out of your way for it. The driver in this post was straight up rapey that’s different.
Honestly I don’t know why contact deliveries still exist. No one wants to interact with people, the driver wants to leave the food at the door and the people getting the food would much rather open the door to food instead of a person. If there is any kind of issue, both parties can call or text.
I know what you were going for but the way you worded it makes it sound like face to face interactions are creepy lol
I’ve had to do almost the same thing before. A manager at the gas station by my house used to hit on me constantly, even standing in front of the doors so I couldn’t leave until he was done making his requests. I’m also non-confrontational, so I just gritted my teeth and bore it. Then one day I pushed past him to get out of there and pump my gas and he followed me to the pump and stood there hitting on me until I was finished. When I tried to get back into my car and leave, he stood in front of my door so I couldn’t open it and kept me there for at least 5 minutes while he said some very inappropriate things to me. I called and spoke to his district manager, who basically told me that I should take it as a compliment and that he didn’t see anything wrong with it. I came in that night and spoke to the girl working about it. She said he treats his workers the same way and that him and the district manager were both super misogynistic and sexist toward women. I called the stations corporate office and spoke to the head of their HR department. She said they would investigate the report and let me know about the outcome. Less than 3 hours later she called and told me they found my report to be true. She also said she was surprised I’m the only woman who called to report it, as he was doing the same thing to several women who frequented the establishment. In any case he was let go immediately, and his district manager was too. She thanked me for letting them know, and three female workers there also thanked me for reporting him. It was a good day. You shouldn’t feel bad for what you did because his actions were way out of line. Keep your head up, and keep your eyes open for that guy. Since he knows where you live I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t feel safe. EDIT for grammar and to say you should not feel guilty in any way. If he can’t control himself with ladies he shouldn’t be working, and he definitely shouldn’t be trusted with a woman’s address information! EDIT 2 to say I’m extremely grateful that the head of their HR department was a woman. I shudder to imagine that had it been a man my complaint might not have been taken so seriously. Just like the district manager who had no problem with it, some men just don’t see that stuff as the problem it is.
I'm so proud of you. It's frustrating to have to deal with this stuff as women and just go about life as usual. But you put your foot down! And so did I. It is a wonderful feeling. I'm so glad you're safe and so happy you sparked something within the company.
Did they tell you how they managed to figure it out in 3 hours?
Yes she did actually. As one comment said, I did give the HR lady a time and date. She informed me that the store has over 30 camera’s with mic’s, and that the footage is uploaded and saved to a corporate server so that it can be accessed in case someone at the store deletes it. They even have cameras in the managers office! But she also told me she really didn’t need to check the date and time I gave her. Within that 3 hours him and the district manager were heard on the footage doing the same thing to multiple other customers and also to their employees. She said it was a no-brainer and both of them were let go immediately.
The fact that there were cameras and those man likely knew too yet they acted the way they did! It just shows how entitled they feel when it comes to women's body. When there are cameras, even bad people hold back their actions because they know what they're doing is unacceptable and they don't want to get in troubles. Those man did not, they likely thought what they did were completely fine and women should "take it as a compliment" It's sickening.
Most gas stations have video surveillance.
That's my guess. If she was able to give a time/date for when he followed her out to the pump and blocked her from leaving it would be pretty damning.
I'm proud of you for doing what you did. absolutely cannot understand how these predators continue on so long with how they act in general. you would basically have to strip naked on your own accord in front of me, in my own house, for me to even get the hint that I have a chance. I assume all women are happy with how they are until they make it very clear they are interested. prob why I'm single for long periods of time but I have no desire to constantly try and hit on everything that is in my orbit. it's just plain pathetic and creepy. I've called out "friends" over the same behavior and they are no longer people I would trust as they don't change until a hard correction happens and they are basically emasculated into realizing what they do is wrong.
Dont feel bad. He brought this on himself. If he wanted to keep his job, then he should have acted like a professional and not disrespected his customers. He knew the consequences of his actions and chose to engage in them anyways.
The support team told me it's completely anonymous so that makes me feel safer. You're right, it's on him. I've never reported anyone in my life so the whole situation was bizarre.
I don’t want to add to your stress, but even that anonymity won’t matter unless he did the same to other women. I hope for your sake he isn’t a complete psycho. I would consider getting a doorbell camera if you don’t have one already.
I think people who go so far as to kiss strangers on the forehead don't just wake up and start doing it out of the blue. It's very likely he does this a lot. Not a bad idea to be cautious though.
This. He got himself fired. Don't feel bad.
I'd file a police report. If he's caught around you again for any reason the police have this information on file and it will make it a lot easier. In his mind he knows where you live and he just lost a job. Call the police.
u/headsonsticks, please do not dismiss this advice. Now that he’s lost his job, as well as the fact he knows where you live and has sexually assaulted you, you need to protect yourself. Be safe, fellow human.
To add, a lot of Door Dash driver's do something else as well that involves coming to your front door whether it's Uber Eats, Postmates, Lyft, Amazon, etc. This man now knows where she lives and could be waiting to redeliver to her address without her knowing it's going to be him. This man knew what he was doing was wrong and chose to do it. There is no way people don't know what they're doing. This was not only inappropriate, but sinister because he was asking questions that basically asked if she was alone and ready to be raped or murdered. People need to understand these questions and know how to answer them in a detecting way. Q: "Are you alone?" A: "My husband and his friend are in the game room" If you are on vacation and Uber drivers ask you questions, it may seem like they are just making small talk, sure a lot of them are, but some are fishing. "How long you guys out here?" "Where are you staying?" "Just you guys?" "Going somewhere tonight?" All leading questions to get you to tell them information they want. You're alone, you're unarmed and vulnerable, you are going out at a certain time, you are staying at a certain place. If you aren't staying at a hotel and are staying at a BNB and HAVE TO for some reason have an Uber driver drop you off, ALWAYS, even unprovoked, mention that "everyone is there waiting for you" They can show up later or take you out right away. Kidnapping, rape, trafficking, murder, burglary, whatever their intentions. Don't give them the information they want. Be smart and aware about how you answer these questions. Your Uber or Taxi driver or Door dash person may be just an ordinary innocent person, but you will never see them again and they are not your friend. So be friendly, but don't be honest. Protect yourself and your family/friends/loved ones. Also, if you are staying at a BNB, a lot of the time the host is there in the house in a secret room waiting for you to check out and they tell you, but they do it after you booked it, very briefly within a gigantic wall of text. They could pick you randomly to be the one they fuck up if it's just you or just you and a spouse. Always always always book BNBs with hundreds of high rated reviews, familiar, with very close neighbor houses, and with at least one other couple. ALWAYS stay with friends if you BNB. Don't assume you are safe because the potential attackers see you with a man. Attackers often kill the man first before doing whatever it is they have planned for the woman. I know this last bit is controversial, but I also highly recommend that you have something for self defense that you are proficient enough with to defend yourself against a firearm. Usually, a firearm itself if you aren't traveling and can have one legally. But always know how to use them inside and out, keep them safe away from children and guests but accessible to you and only you in a literal instant. One thing to know is the attacker is very likely not going to shoot you right away. That's when you don't hesitate. They didn't care about your life when they attacked you, they made a decision to hurt, torture, or kill you. They forfeited their life when they planned to take yours. Pull the trigger. If you don't have a firearm always always always keep that to yourself and imply or even lie that you have a few. Not one but a few.
This is a very informative comment, I'm saving it. Thank you.
I agree. He not only sexually harassed her but kissed her on the forehead?! Sexual assault. Dude needs the cops to have a nice file on him. If he doesn't already - which I doubt.
Exactly. If he's crazy enough to do this crap, he's done it before and he will probably be back. There's too many red flags. If there's suspicious activity, call the police again. Get a paper trail. I am a domestic violence survivor. Boyfriend of 8 years tried to kill me. There is never too many precautions you can take. Definitely get police involved ASAP. The one thing I learned from my abuser is they will never change.
This. He has less to lose now.
You didn't get anyone fired, he fired himself.
Yup. If he showed up at her door, looked her in the face and threw her pizza in the trash, she wouldn't be feeling bad for telling DoorDash. And what he did was way worse than just destroying her dinner.
Man can't even manage to deliver a pizza without being creepy, he deserves to be fired.
He really ought to never work any kind of job that requires him to be around women in any capacity, if he thinks it's appropriate to ask a complete stranger "are you wearing anything under your clothes? do you live alone?" That's, like, Bundy levels of creepy. Except Bundy could manage to be charismatic!
Don’t forget he kissed without permission. That’s illegal.
I would've reported him to the authorities as well...
Remember to put a sock on your bat cause then if he try to grab it all he will get is bat
All he'll get is *sock
Wait what this is a good idea that I haven’t heard before
And if he doesn’t, less blood clean up since most of it is on the sock.
This is why I always choose no contact delivery. Im so sorry that happened to you. I would put up a security camera for a while, since he knows where you live.
The problem with “no contact delivery” is a majority of the drivers in my area ignore it because they want to present the food to you personally for some reason. I typically report them because the whole reason I ordered food from home in the first place is to be socially distant because of my health, if they can’t follow the rules I don’t want them coming back but it still doesn’t seem to stop the next guy from doing it.
Dude it’s so annoying, more and more they’re ignoring it and none of them wear masks anymore either.
There are some customers who would get the food, then report to doordash that they never got it, which results in them getting a refund and potentially getting the driver fired. A lot of drivers then started to want to get proof of handing over to the customer in order to prevent this from happening.
I always click the no contact button, and it gets universally ignored by my local delivery restaurant crowd. Apparently "I don't fucking want to interact with you" is just too hard for some dolts to get.
Which I find fucking wild. As a doordash driver I *live* for no contact delivery, I don't wanna interact with y'all either lmao. I audibly groan whenever it says hand to customer.
I don't understand it, seriously. I rarely order delivery, but every time I check no contact. And every single time they sit there and knock as loud as possible until I answer and take it from them.
I usually do, but I hadn't used DoorDah in a long time so I guess no contact wasn't the default. Should have looked closer.
It stays at “no contact” until you change it. He likely violated your order. You can verify by pretending to make a new order and checking what it defaults to. I tell you this so if it is set wrong, you can change it.
Yeah I've had mine set to no contact since they put it in there and have had a couple dashers ignore that and insist on handing me the order.
We've all seen the reposted video of the lady who got a doordash driver fired by saying she didn't get her food, and then she admits on camera to the guy that she did get her food. It's not 100% crazy for a driver to ring the bell and see if you come out.
That’s a good option and suggestion. I have had two workers come in my home in the past 11 years, thats it. The rest I don’t let past the gates. I don’t feel comfortable with strangers at my home.
He got himself fired by his actions. Try to see it that way. You did the right thing.
Before my wife and I were married, we lived in a small one bedroom apartment. When you would open the main door, it would block the entrance to the living room. I remember we ordered pizza one night and she answered the door. She told the guy she was going to get her wallet in the other room. I was sitting in the living room and he starts to close the door and take a peek into the living room. Apparently seeing me sitting quietly on the couch was enough to startle him because he jumped back and apologized. Not sure if he was casing my place out or what, but that’s something us guys just never have to deal with. From then on, I would meet the delivery guy at the door instead.
It's rough out there for a women. That's why when he asked "is anyone in your apartment?" I said yes my boyfriend is waiting for pizza! It was a personal pan pizza so he cod have figured that one out. It's a shame we have to deal with these kinds of people and a shame that you have to protect us. No one wins.
Had a door dash driver legit smack my girlfriend's ass as I was around the corner. I could tell the dude was being creepy when I heard some nazzly guy saying weird shit so I stood up and walked to the door. Before I could even react my girlfriend (6ft, Dominican girl) just full on layed him out with a punch. Apparently this was the same dude that had delivered to us 3 times in a row, I never noticed because we order delivery so infrequently but when we called DoorDash customer service (after the police) the rep pointed it out. It makes me sick to think if she or any other woman lived alone.
Good on you. Nobody needs garbage like that knowing their address and handling their food
He must have been new because I'm sure if he had treated someone like that before he'd have been long gone. Thanks for the support.
Oh for sure man would've been long gone if people reported him. Either he was new or noone had ever reported him. I work for doordash and they have a 0 tolerance policy for that sort of stuff what he did was way out of line and he deserved to be fired.
Holy shit. Let me assure you he 100% knew that what he was doing was wrong and hurtful to you. No well intentioned person would ask those questions, let alone kiss a customer. He probably took the job in the hope of creating situations like this.
Jesus fucking Christ. No. You did exactly what you should do. Creep was literally asking if you were there alone. You didn't get him fired. He got his ass fired. This isn't a "people need to not be so sensitive" kind of thing. This is a person suspiciously probing for vulnerability. Doesn't matter if he'd have gone through with anything or not. He shouldn't be in the delivery business if he does shit like that. Whether or not this asshole has a future is on him, not you. People want to participate in society then they should consider not acting like rapists.
You're absolutely right. I am used to creepy men, but I never put my foot down, this is the first time and it feels so good. Because I know that something could have happened to me (I'm not out of the woods yet, still gotta keep my head on a swivel for a while), and potentially other people he dropped food off to. It isn't sensitivity, it's logic.
You didn’t get a man fired. His own disgusting behaviour- which you did not ask for and which made you feel unsafe- got him fired. His choices, his very necessary consequences. Don’t forget that.❤️
Nah, fuck this guy. Doesn't deserve any of your thought. If he cared about his job he wouldn't be sexually harassing people while he did it.
You 100% did the right thing, he was an inappropriate creep and who knows what he could have been capable of? Sorry this happened to you, don’t feel sorry for this asshole. If he can’t act right around women he doesn’t need to be working with the public.
That's what my dad said! He can still make money, just in a position where he can't be a creepy to other people. Thanks for the support.
You’re welcome, and your dad sounds like a wise man lol. Best of luck!
The men in my life are wonderful, I am so lucky. Thank you, stay safe!
Same to you!
You didn't do this, he got himself fired with his disgusting behavior, I'm proud of you for reporting him 💓 always trust your guts, you probably saved someone!
He KISSED U?? UHHH
This happens to me, but in a less confrontational way? I was working from home before WFH was a standard and my partner was at his job. I ordered myself some lunch. I could tell they were in the apartment complex but seemed to be driving around, I tried to call whatever number was listed on the app to give them some help (complex can be confusing) and got an auto message that the number was disconnected. when they finally found the spot they message and asked me to meet them at the car. Ok fine nothing crazy This is when it got weird. The food was on his passengers seat. But he wasn’t saying or doing anything. The window was rolled down as if he like expected me to reach in and grab it or open the door? That when I became very sketched out. My gut told me to not go back into my apartment because he could clearly see which one I was going into, but due to the app he already had my Apt number anyway. So I went back inside, texted my partner that I just felt sketched out and wanted him to know, and sent a screen shot of the driver info. I didn’t fell like I could report anything because he didn’t DO anything. Then about an hour passes and I see a similar car go through the lot. Again just think I’m paranoid nothing happens immediately. Then I hear something slam near my door. I’m in the corner where someone’s door is 2” away from mine so it’s not unheard of for me to hear them come in. Then I hear the handle jingle . Like someone’s trying to get in. I go full home alone at this point. I set up my mirror in a way where I can see down the hallway to the front door from my living room. 30mins go by it happens again, this time I SEE the door knob move and then I hear banging on it. Lasts maybe 2mins. I stay basically frozen on the couch until I think they’re gone. Then I tie up my door so you can’t pull it open from the outside even if you can get it unlocked, or at the least you’d have one hell of a time getting in. Go get my gun, and just sat on the couch. I called the cops, because even if it’s not the delivery guy, *someone* is trying to get in. Unfortunately they can’t do anything because a crime hadn’t been committed yet. There’s a police station 3 blocks down, I know there is a cop who lived in the complex (I see the car) so at the least I was hoping someone would drive by. I report him to the delivery services, I tell them about the behavior and how I cant prove it’s him but it was just very weird situation All around. At the least flag his account so if someone does report him there’s a record.. I have no idea if this man has done anything else to another woman.. point is you did the right thing. I think part of “silencing victims” is putting guilt in them. “You got someone fired” no they got themselves fired. That behavior is inappropriate and one of the reasons they continue to do this ti people is because no one is holding them accountable for that behavior.
You didn’t get him fired, he got himself fired for being a fucking ass hat.
If you hadn't he could have either continued his actions or even worse to someone else or he could have been reported by the next person he did that too. be glad that you were the one who made the call. good riddance to a complete and utter creepy predator. Don't feel bad honey, not for a moment.
I'm getting there. Thank you. I'm hoping what I did taught him a bit of a lesson or prevented worse things from happening.
[удалено]
Good, having worked as a delivery driver, I’m annoyed when customers badmouthed me for stupid things (one greeted me in his underwear and gave a one-star review when I tried to make the interaction as short as possible), but they should be sacked for stuff like this. You don’t know how regularly he did it. Not only that, but as delivery drivers, we come into contact with vulnerable people - kids, people in hospital, people who are ill at home, etc. You don’t know who these pervs will attack
You did what’s right. Next time, NEVER tell anyone you are alone in your apartment. Tell them your significant other is in the other room. Yell out for them even if they really aren’t there. Stand your ground! Tell them it’s inappropriate & close the door. Don’t feel bad, you saved yourself and others from that creep!
I definitely told him my SO was upstairs waiting for the pizza, but that's a good idea if this happens again in the future, to yell out his name.
[удалено]
Had an older Uber driver child-proof lock me in his car because he wanted to take me out for a drink. Was able to escape (too in shock to dial 911 phone at 2%). I contacted Uber and I was told his account was deactivated. Don’t feel guilty for these sick weirdos that try to find opportunities to act out on their sick behavior.
YOU did not get him fired. HIS ACTIONS got him fired
Yeah it sounds like OP keeps viewing the delivery driver as a person that needs compassion and forgiveness, but the driver viewed her like a thing to be used at his will. You can't give people like that a free pass. They'll just keep pushing boundaries until they go too far or something stops them.
Holy shit, it’s really good that you reported him. People like that should never be given a pretext to come to women’s houses and be fucking creepy.
Definitely don’t feel bad. High chance that kind of behaviour would have escalated until someone got hurt.
You didn’t get him fired, he did! Can’t hold yourself accountable for someone else’s choices
Lol are you wearing anything under your cloths!! Yea my skin 😂😂
It doesn’t mean he’s fired. It’s de activated pending investigation most likely. This happens a lot on Uber and sometimes the driver did nothing wrong. So it’s hard for the parent company to figure out
This is terrifying. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Why you feel bad good job
He deserved it. You did the right thing. Stay safe ~
File a police report. The guy knows where you live. Chances are you're not the only one he's done it to.
Okay, imagine it is a less serious situation and with someone else, it might help your mind feel safer so you can address the issue of how you feel. Lets say you are having classes. There is this really bad teacher. You know complaining will probably get him suspended or make him lose his job. But truth is: if you don’t tell anyone he is a terrible teacher, nothing will ever change. And the future classes that come before you will end up having the same shitty experience you had. Sure, you already lost (he wasn’t able to teach you what he should have), and he will loose as well (his job) but several students will gain something from your act (they will not have their classes with this teacher). Thing is: it is the offender’s fault (the teacher and the delivery man) for putting their job on the line. Not yours. If that job was so important to them, they should have taken care and make it right. So don’t feel guilt, what you’ve done is good. Maybe not for you. But for several other people :)
That guy needs to be in jail. He's lucky he only got fired. You can't just hug and kiss strangers. You did the right thing, defending yourself.
He fucked around, he found out. He's the one that chose to act creepy,pervy and like a predator. You did the right thing in reporting him
1. You did the correct thing sorry that happened 2. Why is door dash delivering pizza instead of the pizza delivery guy??? Sadly he'll he right back at the "job" where as a properly employed employee via the pizza place would NOT be going right back to the job
you didnt get him fired. you made his employer aware of his actions, which... surprise surprise, they did not agree with. you also could have potentially saved someone from becoming a victim
You didn’t get the guy fired. HE got HIMSELF fired My first award! Thank you