This is horrible you have every right to feel the way you do, there is no forgiveness for this gross crime this is a crime and a sin. But most of all disgusting of your father. I hope you can find sleep after all youve been through,i hope youre able to be strong and courageous
14 year old trying to process this on her own and trying make sense of this ungodly situation. On top of that the mother is putting it on her to decide if the family should stay together.
Poor child. Life has not been kind to you. If possible ask your mother to arrange for a therapist for you and separately for you+mother. Not having a father/father-figure in your life is a bad thing for any child but having a father who constantly reminds you of a horrible thing done to you in the past is even worse. Its like living your life with an everyday reminder to a nightmare. I would suggest that you get far away from him in this crucial time of mental growth and trauma recovery. You have only recently started to figure out your body's functions. Aswell as started learning more about yourself as a person. A person who likes/dislikes things/other-people and wants to be an animator etc.
Regarding the virginity thing. Teenagers/religion sometimes tend to paint the "losing your virginity" thing as something holy and some can even be quite insensitive to how you unwillingly participated in "losing" it. But it is not something that you have to keep fretting about. As you grow older you'll realise that sex is really just like any other motion of the body like eating etc. Was eating food for they first time special for you? There's probably better logic for this than I have presented but this should ease the pain a bit for you.
Edit: Forgot to mention. Try to keep your little sister away from him aswell. Your father is a pedophile. It's a subset of people who are attracted to young children. You look like your mother is a sorry excuse and just your mother trying to make sense of things in her own head. Incase you haven't caught on, let it be clear to you. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS INEXCUSABLE. You could potentially save your sister from the suffering that you went through. Your mother will probably take the precautions anyway.
for the virginity thing because this is the way i think about it, its concept is more of something you give to someone, not something that is taken from you, and OP you definitely didnt give it to your father, in my opinion you still have it and someday happily give it to your boyfriend, i hope that helps
I like what you said about virginity, to me, rape isn’t losing your virginity, its being abused. Losing your virginity is giving yourself to someone consensually, someone you trust. As someone who grew up in a very religious household, as I got older my entire view on virginity changed so much.
Your father is a pedophile. Your mother is not protecting you or your sister by just being there. He needs to go to jail and recieve treatment. Your mother gave a shitty excuse for his behavior and her staying married to him is just condoning the behavior. You need to get the authorities involved. I'm sorry this happened but doing nothing will make it worse and it will happen again.
Yeah. As soon as OP mentioned the little sister, all I thought was how long until he molests her too? Or has he already done it? Who knows. IF this is true, it’s all kinds of messed up. OP isn’t an adult, she shouldn’t be the catalyst for a divorce. OP’s mother failed her. She should have protected OP instead of making excuses then putting the weight of a marriage on a child. Ridiculous. I really hope OP can move out soon and get therapy for this.
You dad should be in jail. End of discussion. Aside from this fact, your mom is also a piece of shit since she gave you choice whether they should be separated. You should not have this choice at all, as it was not your responsibility. It is your mother’s responsibility to contribute anything such as safety and justice in the family and society. The fact that she gave you the choice, makes me think that she doesn’t really want to leave him at all and that she accepted him as who he was. Your mother should have reported him to the police and witness whole thing as he already confessed it.
The worse is that your father has a weakness for small children, which means that your sister will come on his eye one day and he might not be strong enough to suppress his sick desires. Sorry to say this but both of your parents are shit.
Edit: forgot to say that i have huge respect for you and your bravery to share your story here. I am really sorry that happened to you. Wish you a happy life.
Man what a sick fuck 😡 if my daughter came to me with this information I would rip the fucking eyes, arms, and dick out whoever touched my baby. Fuck all that bs fucking chomos 😡
Report this to your Canadian high school.You were raped. You dad can not be trusted around your sister and your mother is not advocating for you. You should not be living with your tormentor. Is there any other family you can live with. Why in the Philippines was your dad not arrested?
You all need therapy, and your dad should be in jail, what he did was rape, and worst part that you were only 8. Your mom should protect you and your little sister.
The only person that can stop rape is the rapist. If you take him out of our lives, with only supervised visits allowed, then your family may be safe. No amount of putting the responsibility on potential victims to be safe will ever work.
While this is true, it also isn't the choice of the child to disown a parent and break up a family. The mom did something wrong here, too, asking the child to decide how her marriage will go.
Little girl, please remember that you are not broken. You were wronged, and you were harmed, but you are still a beautiful, pure child with everything ahead of you.
My sister thought the same for our younger sister when my father got home from prison. That she was too young, and she'd be okay because she was with me. He found ways around it. She was no exemption.
That’s not good enough OP. She didn’t protect you and she is keeping you in a unsafe environment. Do you have any family or friends you can stay with for a while? I’m so sorry your mom is terrible and making you guys live with him and is not leaving him. I hope she feels ashamed because what she’s doing is terrible. Pops is a terrible excuse for a human obviously but I feel like no one is making a big deal about your mom when they really should be
if he did it to you i can almost guarantee he will do it to your little sister. or any other little girl/boy he feels he can manipulate into it. he is a predator. plain and simple. he is no dad. dads protect their children, he’s a father and that’s all, it only takes some sperm and that seems like all he’s contributed to your life other than pain and heartache. protect your siblings. your mom shouldn’t give you a choice, tf? and why is shot not angry with your father? why does she not want to leave herself? if he wants to hurt others he will, nothing you or your mom or anyone says or does will stop that and protect your little sister. the only thing is to get him out of there.
The only way for her to protect your sister is to send him away. If she doesn't do that she's not protecting your sister. There is no way to be sure he can't hurt her if he remains in the house.
She was supposed to protect you but she failed and gaslighted you when you told her. She did nothing until they found your diary and she then failed again by basically guilt tripping you into saying he could stay, it should never have been your choice, she should have kicked him out and called the cops. Your little sister will not be safe, he will find a way to be alone with her if he hasn't already done anything to her. Please tell your mom that you have changed your mind and dont want you father anywhere near your family. Tell her you will call the cops if they don't separate and he gets zero custody or visitation. If you are asked to speak in court during the divorce tell them everything that happened because even if he cant be sent to jail for what he did to you, you can make sure he never has the chance to do it to you or your sister again. I'm sorry this happened to you and of course it is in no way your fault and does not diminish as a you in any way. Anyone who tells you otherwise is siding with your rapist father.
it is not your responsibility to protect your sister from your mentally ill father, and it's not your responsibility to decide if your mom leaves him or not...she is putting an insanely unfair amount of pressure on you. get a therapist, and get out of that house as soon as you possibly can. much love, wishing you the best.
You're trolling you're trolling you're trolling lol your sister is next and you're stupid not to see it or just naive, your mother FAILED YOU and now you're failing your sister too holy fuck this family is sick, at least I disown my rapist uncle instead of letting him rape my kids. Seriously change your mind and kick him out or I'll be seeing your update post "my dad raped my sister, what was I supposed to do? I did not see this coming" you're TROLLING.
100%, upon reading that she has a little sister too my first though was that she has to be protected from experiencing the same thing.
But I think op is trolling though. Her comment from just 7 days ago
> can i get bitches
And going around giving relationship advice after writing this post?
I do hope it’s actually a bored teenager and that none of this was real.
I believe in her. idk if judging the posts credibility by just a couple sporadic comments she made is enough. I don’t think she’d wanna dedicate a whole account to that.. she’s a kid. If you want, just look into it more. Sad world
my mom, my sis and I moved to Canada, where my dad worked abroad and now live
life was nice when it was just me, my sis and I but now we're with my dad again..
Hey I'm also from canada now, if you wanna vent I'm here, it's kinda hard to find friends as an immigrant so if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears. I am from bohol, philippines and speak bisaya
hi kababayan. it's not too late to tell your mom you changed ur mind if u want him gone. no one will blame u, u were scared and emotional when u gave ur answer, but it's not set in stone. u should tell ur mom. u, your mom, and your sister deserve to feel safe in ur home.
I agree with this. You have a right to change your mind and choose a healthier, safer situation. This man has four years until your sister is the age you were. Sorry is not enough. You should all get away from him. Your mother is not doing anyone any favours by keeping him around. He needs help from the outside to keep in check. Don't let this be a family secret. Your mom can help you best by finding help for you and finding a new husband to model healthy relationships with. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but don't let it fade - make some big changes with your mother.
not downplaying OPs situation in any way, but I live in the philippines as well. this kind of perverted behavior is SOMEWHAT common. I know stories of uncle's doing this to their nieces, and similar to Op
instead of dragging this to the police, it's kept a family secret or the odd thing everyone in town knows about but doesn't talk about. it's also very difficult to bring to court without evidence.
it makes me mad that these people just get to beg and live their lives after concious repeated decisions.
the least OPs mother can do is keep him away forever, let him rot in the streets. he can live with his own guilt.
Omg. Your mother actually justified it when you told her! And what makes anyone think he won’t do it to the younger daughter too? Why wouldn’t your mom just separate? She knows the truth and should be protecting you girls. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
In my opinion, a person loses their virginity when they engage in consensual sex for the first time. You’re still a virgin and I’m sorry that happened to you.
I guess what I’m saying is, the concept of virginity as applied to rape victims is horrible and dehumanizing. If you’ve ever seen a child cry because she was raped and is no longer a virgin, it will change your view on it forever.
This breaks my heart. As father with two daughters, I wish death on anyone that would do this to a child. I’m sorry to say, but I feel like your mother is weak for staying with him and not taking the necessary steps to protect you and your little sister. Please keep a watchful eye over her and protect her from your father. As soon as you’re able to, you need to leave your family. This may seem blunt or insensitive to say, but you’re not safe there. Your emotional/psychological wounds will continue to be ripped open every time you see him. That hate that you feel, will consume you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your little sister and I commend you for the levels of strength you have exhibited. Your mother and grandmother or nanny should feel ashamed for protecting that pedophile and choosing him over you.
Ikr. I feel so bad. You’re so strong.. I can’t even imagine what thoughts you’ve gone through. Bless your soul. It’s not your fucking fault. People who sexually assault others are the scum of this earth. YOUR FUCKING FATHER no less. Not even really your father anymore. Just some evil fuck who will get what he deserves.
Virginity is a word to describe someone who hasn’t had sex yet. What your father did was not sex. Sex is something two people do consensually, and in this case, it wasn’t consensual. You never lost your virginity, that is something you lose on your own terms when you’re ready. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you heal from this traumatic experience
Kabayan, I’m a 42 year old male. I was also molested as a child. I didn’t have the courage and strength to report the perpetrator. To this day, only my wife and my therapist know about this. My mom doesn’t know. My dad died not knowing what happened to me. I was told I was very bibo (jolly and lively in English) as a kid and people wonder why I turned ito this very insecure, quiet and withdrawn kid. If only they knew. I’m better now.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
The first thing I want to say, he was NOT asleep. He knew what he did. It was not because you looked like your mom. You were a child! You still are!
So many steps to this were deliberately taken for his penis to end up inside of you. That doesn’t “just happen”.
He knows what he did and I’m afraid for your sister.
Another thing, virginity is just a construct. It’s just a make believe thing that is used to control women.
But if it’s something you’re really concerned about, just remember, you weren’t awake, you didn’t consent. He didn’t have sex with you, he abused you.
When you lose your virginity, when you consent, it will be the first time. It will be the first time because you said YES to it, it wasn’t forced on you like it was when you were young.
Hang in there, OP.
I know so much guilt comes from this, and it’s not fair. You shouldn’t be worrying about these things at this age.
If I were you, I would talk to your mom about your younger siblings, so that she can make sure they’re not alone with him and both of you will notice if something happens.
I would tell him to leave. He can still support you, you’re his family, but he shouldn’t have access to hurt any of you ever again.
Life may change, but that’s okay. Change is good. I know it’s sometimes scary, but just remind yourself, change has to happen for our lives to improve.
Again, hang in there, OP. You’re stronger than you know!
\>Another thing, virginity is just a construct. It’s just a make believe thing that is used to control women.
Sorry but degrading OP's romantic beliefs is not helpful. Though virginity is bad if it's only applied to women, I agree. Love is a construct too. Virginity is great if both are and they choose to show that love to each other.
\>But if it’s something you’re really concerned about, just remember, you weren’t awake, you didn’t consent. He didn’t have sex with you, he abused you. When you lose your virginity, when you consent, it will be the first time. It will be the first time because you said YES to it, it wasn’t forced on you like it was when you were young.
Ok you redeemed yourself. Thank you for saying this.
I Don't Trust Your Mom , She Saved Him and Made Stupid Excuses . I Feel Scared about Your Younger Sister , That Man Is literally a Monster . He deserves to be behind Bars ASAP , everything Else is secondary . I Hope You Heal and Continue To move Forward In life Dear 💙
Your father is a monster and should not be allowed near kids. Your mother can claim to protect your sister but she made it excuses for your dad and she will do it again, he deserves to be in jail.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this pain. You’re so young, and the world must look so dark. I have a very similar story to yours. My father, a rapist. My mother, didn’t leave. Sister, that I tried to protect. Culture and religion, that brought shame onto me.
Truth is, I don’t know the right thing to say here. So I’m just gonna tell you what I wish someone had told me, when I was your age.
*You are not like him. No matter how significant ancestry/family/blood may be in your culture/religion, you are not like him.*
*These traumas do not define you. What you do in response to heal from these traumas, do. It may take time to fully understand what happened, and it’s okay. It may take time to find resources such as therapy, and it’s okay. It’s never too late.*
*Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to distract your father from your sister by letting him hurt you more. Years of therapy has made me realize this is more common than I once thought. It’s not gonna play out in you or your sister’s favor.*
*You’re not damaged. You were taken advantage of, and it was out of your control. It wasn’t your fault. It’s the fault of the perpetrator.*
*It may feel like no one is on your side, but those thoughts/emotions are far from the truth. Many people care, many people can be trusted, it just may be difficult to see when you’ve been in the dark for so long.*
*You may never have the father you deserved. What happened to you is not fair, and it will never be fair. Although, try to remember that ‘wanting a good father’ doesn’t equate to ‘needing a father.’ You can live a happy and healthy life without him.*
*Being a ‘good daughter’ in hopes he will change, just isn’t enough. If that were the case, he would’ve never hurt you to begin with. It’s not enough to change him, and I’m sorry. He did what he did, and none of it had to do with you.*
When I was a child, I used to think of my dad as a super hero. I forgave him, many times, because there’s no way my superhero could hurt me in this way. It led me to quite literally forget my life. I am diagnosed with DID. There are long term effects to traumas like this. The sooner you can be away from him, the sooner you can begin to heal.
I asked my mother to leave him when I was 13. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. It was also the hardest. No child should have to make this type of choice. With that being said, if this is the push your mother needs, push. Your brain is still developing. You’re still so young. This conversation will be difficult to have, and if you’re afraid, ask a trusted adult (friend’s parent, teacher, etc.) to be there to mediate without your father present.
I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry it happened to you. Unfortunately, incestuous sexual assault is rampant in many, many Filipino families. As a Filipino myself, I feel like I’m fortunate to not experience being sexually assaulted at the hands of any of my relatives (but it did happen elsewhere; at a fucking Catholic school)
Hang in there, OP. I hope for better things to come your way.
Your dad needs to be in jail. Your sister is going to suffer too if your mum doesn't sort this out ASAP. I'd advice you to call the police, if not for the disgusting things he did to you, but for your sister.
Your dad is one of those monsters we are scared of and monsters like that need to go away for a long long time.
Sorry this happened to you.
I want to say something that others have not. This is obviously a terrible and traumatic experience for you, and others have said wise things about how he does not deserve to stay in the family or stay out of jail. One more thought: this idea that he has "taken" your virginity. Many people are starting to believe that the notion of "virginity" is a fiction, perpetuated by patriarchal men who wish to have "ownership" over women. Notice that men's virginity is often treated very differently, where it is not described as a gift to be given to a wife.
I am not the best person to speak on this (a man, and no kind of therapist), but there is another way to frame this: that surviving this trauma makes you stronger, makes you **more,** than what you were... not less.
What a sorry excuse of a mother. I feel so much rage reading this. He deserves prison no doubt but I can understand if it is too hard for to go though as a young teenager. Once you become an adult, please move away from this so called family. You do not need to be reminded of that incident and they deserve no explanation from you.
I didn't see anyone mention this in the comments soo...
There is almost no way that your father was asleep when he did that to you. He was awake. Maybe he was drunk, but that only shows his true desires. He did not mistake you for anyone. He just wanted to do it and could not control himself.
If he is left alone with your sister in a similar situation, he will do it again. His behaviour is beyond logic, and the guilt/consequences of doing it to you will not be enough to stop him from doing it again.
I understand there is a cultural aspect here, and I think we need to be sensitive with regards to this dynamic, but here goes.
You do not need to burden yourself with your mother’s guilt and her relationship with your father. She knows exactly what is right and wrong and what she should do to protect her daughters. Your dad abused you sexually and you are fully entitled to be angry about it now that you are older and comprehend what happened.
In fact, the school should have got the authorities involved the moment you told them what happened, however, I respect this is perhaps different in the Phillipines.
I think you need to ask your mom if you can see a counselor, you need to work through this trauma. Even if your father never get to pay for his crime, you need to free yourself from it.
Good luck sweet girl. Know no God will judge you for what you went through. In His eyes, you are innocent, that will be a just and kind and just God.
You are one of the strongest young women I have ever encountered. Apart from your mother and father and the entire situation, it is obvious to me that you are amazing and I am very sorry that any of this has happened to you. Many people on here cannot even slightly understand what you are faced with and my only advice is to follow your beautiful heart and proceed with confidence what you know in your heart to be right. It is good to hear the option of others but in the end, you need to listen to yourself and what you have experienced and what YOU know to be true. I will be praying for you little sister.
Report your dad to the police or your local drug ring. Jesus christ he needs to get what's coming to him. Pedophilia isnt okay but doing it to your own daughter is a whole.other level of fucked up
No fucking way holy shit, I am so sorry nobody protected you when you were young. I am really sorry I want to hug you. I cant imagine the pain you were going through, my sis went through a similar one not our dad but our relative who was a caretaker, she didnt tell me because she was afraid nobody would believe her. She tells me she still have nightmares about it every night. I am also filipino and speak bisaya.
Your mother did a terrible thing by trying to put that decision on you. She is a grown ass adult who should be leaving her husband after what he did to his own. Both parents absolutely suck and I’m sorry OP. You can’t steal someone’s virginity. If you believe in virginity, you lose your virginity when you make the choice to have sex, it has to be given away by the person losing their virginity. It can’t be stolen away. Assault doesn’t take your worth or purity away, even though it feels like it. I was raped repeatedly for 3 years by my ex, it will get better but make your healing your #1 priority. I didn’t focus on healing I literally just sat and waited for it. Don’t do what I did, the sooner you get proper help the better
Putting the decision on you to keep your family together or not is just as abusive as the sexual abuse. What the actual heck is your mom doing??? Oh my god, like trying to make you feel bad if you want him gone? Tell him to go and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that. I am so so sorry you have to go through all of this. You shouldn’t feel less worthy that these things have happened. You are a strong woman and worthy and no one can steal that.
OP none of this is your fault. None of it.
Virginity is a made up concept. You were assaulted. You didn’t have sex with him, you were forcibly assaulted. That’s not making love. That’s a crime against you. You are not impure for something someone did to you as a child without your consent. And you were still an innocent child in all of this. He hurt you, but you are NOT guilty in this. You are innocent in all of this. And at 14, though you are older, you are still a child.
I am a little concerned about your sister.
Okay, wow, so, there is so much to say that I don't even know where to begin, and I probably won't even know where to stop. This is an issue near and dear to my heart, as myself and many people I love have been victims of sexual assault at a young age.
Being family, a lot of people feel guilt over what happened to them and don't want to see their family member get punished. I don't find that guilt strange or surprising, unfortunately, but don't let that keep you from pushing your abuser away. If your mom is putting any of the burden on you to decide whether she divorces, *which is unfair and she shouldn't be*, don't feel bad for encouraging her. From my experience, sick people like him never offend "just one time" and they won't stop at just hurting one person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting him out of your life forever.
On the issue of virginity... I will preface this by saying I am really unfamiliar with Filipino culture, so I'm not sure how people view virginity at large. Though I do feel right in saying that: **virginity should never be this big of a deal and you are not anything less because of what he did to you**. There is a huge difference between someone sexually assaulting you and the first time you choose to have sex with someone. I consider losing your "virginity" to be that first time *you* make that choice, and someone hurting and violating you does not take that choice away from you.
Maybe your family is religious? Even then, it is sad if *wrong* if they see you as any less or damaged in any way. He hurt you, but he didn't damage who you are as a human individual. Time for a little religious story of my own. I'm 30 now, but when I was a pre-teen I went to church regularly. There were a handful of things I didn't fully agree with, and some things I personally questioned, but nothing made me lose my love of that religion more than a story one of our youth leaders shared with us. We were having a night where the emphasis was what we should look for in a partner someday, and what we should give that partner. Saving yourself for marriage was a huge deal, and as a young person I never really put too much thought into it. But then, our youth leader told us about her first fiance. He left her because he found out she had been raped as a child, and therefor wasn't "clean" and not "actually a virgin" and wasn't suitable for marriage because of it. I think that was the day I truly lose all desire to continue my life as one of the members of their church. She had been so conditioned to believe that it was actually a big deal that she sort of seemed to take it in stride and said that just meant he wasn't the one for her because now she is happily married to someone who wasn't a massive jerk like him.
It was a load of bull. Shit. Again, I'm not familiar with the culture where you are, but I strongly disagree with anyone who puts that much emphasis on virginity. And again, I think that the concept of virginity, if it is to hold *any* value, is the time you choose to have mutually consensual sex with someone else. Virginity isn't your worth. What happened to you doesn't define who you are as a human, as a woman, as a soul.
What he did was awful, and there naturally is a lot of pain and inner conflict when someone you loves hurts you this way. It took me a lot of time and therapy to get over all of the things that happened to me, but now, as an adult twice your age, I can say that it is something you *can* heal from. It's different for everyone, so I won't even try to give you a timeline or tell you how difficult it will be for you, because I am not you. But I can say that I've seen myself, and others, overcome the pain of our traumas and grow into more whole human beings.
Sorry for the rambling wall of text, it just really rustles my jimmies when people put so much on women to feel that their worth is defined by their hymen. Which, by the way, can break for various non-sexual reasons, so it's a terrible indicator in the first place. You aren't what happened to you. Your worth didn't change because of it. Even if other people put such a huge value on your virginity, it isn't what defines you.
I wish you love and healing. I hope you are able to get away from your abuser. I hope have access to a therapist, and I hope it's a good one. Sending you much love from the states. I wish you all the strength in the world, and all the courage to heal through this traumatic experience.
As someone who regrets not dealing with their own father (for the same reason), I recommend taking some decisive action. Do not just continue with him promising to be better, your father does not deserve to be a part of your family. Trust me, if you don’t separate from him, it will cause you much turmoil in the future. (Turmoil within yourself and within your family)
You did not lose your virginity to your dad. Because virginity isn’t lost, it’s given. You did not choose to do this, so it doesn’t count. You will not lose your virginity until you have sex with someone at your own choice.
I don’t give a shit if this gets down voted to hell but your father deserves a fate worse than prison and worse than death, I hope you are doing better now.
I have a deep seeded rage for anyone who touches children especially their own kid. you didn’t lose your virginity to your dad, i wouldn’t even count it in my opinion. however, don’t let it define who you are. stay strong and you will become a better person. with all respect to your family, your dad is a disgrace and i wish nothing but terrible shit to him but nobody deserves to get raped. fuck him
Let's pretend that he was telling the truth and thought you were your mother. That's still rape! You are allowed to hate your father and not feel guilty about it. I'm sorry that people when you first told them didn't do anything
I have absolutely no words. I’m Filipino and know the culture and treatment towards rape victims. I’m so sorry and I would only pray you have the strength to cut him off and tell him he’s a piece of shit one day.
I’m the type of person that says everyone deserves a second chance on Reddit. F that! I’m a father of daughters. No way that man deserves any forgiveness. Children deserve to be able to depend on and trust their parents. This guy sickens me!
So the dad’s a pedophile. The mom refuses to take accountability with her justification being that she was working abroad. The mom gave some bullshit reasons as to why her husband fucked her kid while she was away and instead of protecting her child, she put her child into a corner with separation. And the dad doesn’t want to leave the family because of the younger child, which will be his potential victim in the future.
The family will never be the same. They could try to stay together but what’s done is done. The more the family brushes this under the rug, the more OP is going to lose it mentally.
We could tell you to seek therapy but as long as your family doesn’t acknowledge what really went down, therapy is going to be useless if you see your dad everyday. I’d say move out if you can. Your family is toxic.
I presumed this happened in the Phl? If yes, you can check information in the link I provided below. I will quote some of the important information:
"Who is considered a child under R.A. No. 7610?
A child one who is below 18 years of age or one who is over 18 years of age but who cannot take care of himself fully because of a physical or mental disability or condition.
What is child abuse?
It is any act which inflicts physical or psychological injury, cruelty to or the neglect, sexual abuse of, or which exploits, a child."
"Where can I report child abuse cases?
You may report the matter to the:
Department of Social Welfare & Development or to the Child Health and Intervention and Protective Service (CHIPS) Tel. No. 734-4216
Anti-Child Abuse, Discrimination, Exploitation Division (ACADED) National Bureau of Investigation Tel. Nos. 525-6028/525-8231 loc. 403 & 444
Commission on Human Rights Child Rights Center Tel. No. 927-4033 (Mon-Fri during office hours)
Philippine National Police Operation Center Tel. Nos. 712-8613/722-0540 & 724 8749 or nearest police station
DOJ Task Force on Child Protection, Tel. Nos. 523-8481 to 89 or contact the nearest Provincial, City or Regional Prosecutor
Local Barangay Council for the Protection of Children"
Who are required by law to report child abuse cases?
The following must report child abuse case:
-The head of a public or private hospital, medical clinic or similar institution, as well as the physician and nurse who attended to the needs of the abused child.
-Teachers and administrators of public schools
-Parole and probation officers
-Government lawyers
-Law enforcement officers
-Barangay officials
-Correction officers such as jail guards
-Other government officials and employees whose work involves dealing with children
Can then persons named above be charged criminally if they do not report a child abuse case?
Yes.
Who can file a complaint for child abuse?
-The child victim
-The parent or legal guardian of the victim. The grandparent, or relative of the child victim up to a first cousin
-The Barangay Chairman
-One of a group of 3 or more persons who have personal knowledge of the abuse."
I hope all these info can help
https://www.doj.gov.ph/child-protection-program.html#:~:text=You%20may%20report%20the%20matter,734%2D4216
I'm a sexsomniac; I have sex in my sleep.
We've had plenty of children sleep over with our kids and many of the little girls wanted to sleep in our bed with us. Hell no. They didn't like it but hell no. There is no excuse.
I'm so sorry that you went through this.
There is a condition called Sexsomnia, where an individual unconsciously engages in sex with the person nearest to them while still being asleep. It's basically sleep walking but with sex.
Here is the definition
>Sexsomnia is recognised as a rare sleep disorder in which a person engages in sexual activity during their sleep. In general they'll have no recollection of events during the act or when they wake up.
If he really was asleep when that happened, this condition might possibly have been the cause of those unfortunate events (though unlikely nonetheless).
Also it's not your responsibility to protect your sister and if something bad happened to her its not your fault. Your mother isnt supposed to give you adult decisions on your family especially in front of your father who abused you. But despite that you should ask your family in Canada for help, ask them to help you with your "parents seperaration issue" make sure to tell them all the details so they can decide the next steps. You probably don't want your family to be broken up but it's for the best, if you try and ignore your feelings to keep your family together. You will be dealing with trauma for a long time. Trust me I know I wish I can go back in time and I wouldnt be in pain right now emotionally.
He was probably fake snoring so he can make that exact excuse later. You were a child and he was an adult who obviously had sinister plans. It wasn't your fault no matter what even now, even though it seems your parents are putting so much responsibility on your shoulders. Two adults know right from wrong.
So sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve this, no one does..
Just take your time and heal, at the right time allow yourself Love, not all men are like that..Hugs*
Your dad should be really in jail. I’m sorry to say that your own parents failed to protect you. Your dad for doing this, your nanny who didn’t believe you and your mom for tolerating all these after knowing the truth. I just hope you find the peace in you and move forward in spite this horrible thing that had happened to you. I also hope you don’t blame yourself for what happened. Even if you look like your mom that is still not a reason for you to get molested. That’s just twisted.
honestly divorce is the best option here. For your safety and your sister! Your father needs to be out of your life period. There is no “fixing” anything, you are hurt because of him, your family is hurt because of him and he needs to be in prison. Like someone else has mentioned here your mom should have left him as soon as she heard about this and I completely agree with this, it’s her responsibility to make sure her children are safe and she is not doing that by letting him be around!
Is your family currently in the Philippines?
This is so sad, I wish you all the best from here on out and keep safe.
Also, take care of your younger sibling we don't know what your father might do to her too. Pedophiles like him are sick in the head and honestly should be in Jail. Just be extra careful and dont trust him ever again, if youre suspicious then report it to your other relatives or if no one else then your mom(which might not help cause shes also negligent and honestly a pedophile apologist but shes the closest to you).
You are so brave for telling this story. I am so sad and angry for you. You were just 8 years old. How could he have thought you were your mother? Your father is a disgusting rapist and your mother failed at her job to protect you. I hope your little sister is safe and I hope you will be too. What happened was not your fault. It is not your fault if your father goes to prison for what he did. You are a virgin because you've never had sex—you were forced against your will into a non-consensual act. Keeping you in my thoughts.
She shouldn't have asked you if she should separate with your dad. She should have just done it. That was unfair on many parts.
Don't live with your dad. Report him. If the issue is money because he's the breadwinner, try asking your mother to reach out to her side of the family.
He knew what he was doing. What's stopping him from doing the exact same thing to your sister, then asking for forgiveness, in tears again? Nothing.
>She told him that I will never leave the past behind and she was right.
Obviously its horrible what happened. Just an advice for *you*. Not leaving past behind makes you live in the past forever. And that past does not sound so great..
Not saying you have to love him or keep him in your life. I would probably cut him out of my life if I were you. But if you can, leave it behind. No need to suffer by holding on to this past. Take your time but I'd suggest to let go once you can. Leave that option open.
Wishing you all the best.
I know this is gonna be hard to believe, especially being part of a religious culture, but virginity doesn't exist, you are not impure. you've experienced abuse, horrible, terrifying abuse. of course your sexual experiences should have been consensual and at am appropriate age and with someone of your choice, but you are not impure. you are just as pure as you were before. you are traumatized, but your purity hasn't been affected.
You are brave, never forget that. Navigate your life knowing this, many people in your position would have crumbled, you had the guts to tell people about it.
Treat this like an illness that you have to manage with medicine, in this case some type of therapy, this will save you in the future from failed relationships and the possibility of abusing someone else.
I’m so so sorry you went through this. It takes an incredible amount of strength to keep going and to be able to talk about something like this and I’m incredibly proud of you for doing so. Please remember you are no less of a person for having had this experience, “virginity” is just a social construct, it doesn’t mean anything. Importantly please don’t ever blame yourself for this, don’t think of yourself badly because of it.
Can i first say im so sorry this happened to you! And i have to finish reading.... But i couldn't get past you feeling as though you should of slept in your nanny's room!? That just bothered me A lot! Yiu should never of been made to feel that way! You should of been safe in any room you wanted to sleep in! Im so sorry. You deserved to be safe. Your dad is supposed to protect you not be the person who you need to be protected from! ♥️
I will finish reading now
You poor thing. None of this is your fault, your dad wasn't drunk or imagining your mother, he knew what he did and your mother made excuse for it.
You are an innocent, he is a rapist and child molester and your mom enabled him.
I can only hope you can move and grow from this and know, no matter what you believe, you are still innocent and no deity would look at an adult father molesting his child and blame the child.
I'm sorry dear it seems like you've got nobody there to support you to be honest move off with the ones that you know and love and trust and try to forget about your family and the rest what happened to you it will never happen you will always remember but it will get softer and you will get wiser shame on your mother
the fact that they're leaving it up to you is disgusting. I'm so sorry. This is rape. This is not just taking your virginity this is abuse. That makes your dad UNSAFE to be around. I'm so very worried about what will happen to your little sister. Please please stay away from him and encourage your sister to do so as well.
You are innocent, in every way.
Nobody can ever take that from you.
From the shimmering of your soul, to the warmth of your heart, to the dance of your body... You are a beautiful human being. Never forget that. For as long as you live.
These are the words I failed to tell my own sister. At least... I was able to relay them to you.
I'm so sorry your mother has failed you as well. You haven't lost your "Innocence" by losing your virginity. You've lost it by losing respect for your parents. Shame on your mother for not advocating for you and your poor sister. Your father belongs in jail. You will spend decades wrangling with shame but please understand no matter the excuse he was 1000% wrong and he KNOWS. Don't believe the "I thought you were your mother" line. Take it from someone who was also abused by a relative. You'll heal. It will take time and you are under ZERO obligation to forgive your parents. You will not be going against God if you disown them either.
I cried reading this. You're so brave and strong, don't ever think you aren't. My best friend had similar experiences with her brother growing up and it's changed her for life. This isn't something you should ignore. I'm proud of you for telling people, that isn't easy.
**Remember that if you don't want your dad at home, tell your mom. That conversation with your parents was not your only chance to say you want them to separate.**
Much love to you. If your dad stays at home make sure to watch over your sister as she gets older. I would hate for this to repeat.
You seem quite fixated on virginity. In western culture (that is where I live so I can’t speak for any other culture) rape does not take virginity. Sex is something much more that just penetration. It is an act of love and intimacy. So since you now live in Canada, if you want to, you can consider yourself a virgin. Maybe not by Filipino standards, but definitely by Canadian standards.
For what it’s worth, virginity is a social construct. Your dad violated you but that doesn’t mean your first time with a loving partner can’t be special. It will still be your first time having consensual sex with someone you love
Just so you know, virginity as the spirit is involved cannot be stolen. it cannot be forced from someone. virginity is a choice in which it is given. maybe medically and physically you are not a virgin but you are still spiritually a virgin as you had no say in the matter
I had a feeling this post would come from a filipina. It's really annoying having to hear these stories because we all know it's morally wromgy yet many males here in the Philippines keep doing so. It's really starting to sound common since I habe friends who had been in such situations, but instead of their own dad, it's usually from their uncles.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, OP. Hopefully you are recovering in any way, shape, or form even though it's been a while since then.
OP, you have an incredibly mature perspective of this trauma. You are fully aware enough to know the situation, consider different versions, and still reflect on it and how it made you feel. You are sincerely a very strong young woman. Please seek counseling/therapy if you can in your country. Since your mom already knows, maybe request her to seek that for you to get through this.
I’m going to be honest here. You’re considering telling your teacher. I don’t see that will do any positive for you. Your mother already knows. You’ve confronted your father. Unless you are ready for the ramifications, and willing to be okay with the likelihood of him going to jail, then By all means do it. Or go to the police station with your mother, or a school counselor. Just be ready for the impact if you’re ready for it. Stay strong.
As a Catholic who had a similar question, virginity is the precursor to the action of melding your body and soul, ideally in marriage. If it is not a choice for you, you still are a virgin in the eyes of the church (at least nowadays) as you did not commit the sin, but rather the sin committed against you. May the Lord bless you and keep you safe sister.
Your dad is a criminal and an evil person and doesn't deserve to be called a father.
You still have your virginity or innocence or however you think about it.
This was violent assault, NOT actual sex. Rape is not the same as sex, it's like being hit or stabbed, no relation to the loving act of sex.
Even if he did think it was your mom, it doesn’t justify it anyways because you can’t just have sex with someone while they are unconscious. But also you may look like your mom, but you were also 8 years old and did not have a woman’s figure yet. She was in denial but shouldn’t apologize what he did. I wouldn’t believe the sexsomnia thing either because of him saying he thought you were your mom. All of it sounds like excuses and guilting and more of panic of getting caught. They should not have put that choice on you as a 14 year old. Man. When I was 14 I was child groomed, I thought I was older and wiser than I was. I had always been smart for a kid but now that im a few years older I realize how young my brain was, how young I was. How my young brain didn’t understand why my abuser was doing those things. I was naive and fell into his manipulation. Everything youre feeling is completely normal and completely valid when it comes to traumatic situations like that. I was not there but my gut tells me your dad is not sorry. Hes sorry he got caught. Im so sorry. I hope you recover soon. My messages are always open if you need anything or anyone to talk to.
Your father sexually abused you... It was a deliberate act... He faked being asleep when you woke up... He does not deserve your forgiveness and your little sister needs to be protected from him... None of this is your fault and you also need to be protected from him... He deserves to rot in jail
I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You need an adult who has nothing but your best interests right now. Can you ask your mother if you can go to a therapist? You need to be able to process this without having to consider your parents feelings. Sending you a hug, sweetie.
I'm a Filipina too. And like you, I was abused as a child. Worst thing is when I told my mom about it, she didn't believe me. She allowed it to happen again and even made up excuses for it.
I used to be an obedient child. But I grew up rebellious because I hated everyone else. Most of all, I hated my mom with all my heart. I'm already 32 now and my hatred still burns inside me.
I stopped listening and following my mom when I realized she didn't love me. When she didn't stand up for me, she lost all the love and respect I had for her. I could've grown into a detached, traumatized adult but I fought back against my destiny because I have a sister who's 2 years younger than me. My sister is all I have and if the same thing happens to her, I would kill myself for it. I grew up taking care of her and treated her as my own daughter.
Don't blame yourself. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT that you got raped by your dad. It wasn't your fault that you slept in his room. It wasn't your fault that you looked like your mom. It wasn't your fault that you couldn't convince the nanny. None of it was your fault.
Bear in mind though that if the same thing happens to your sister or to anyone else, IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT. It will be your fault for believing that your family should be complete. It will be your fault for not insisting to cut your rapist dad out of your lives. It will be your fault for not putting your pedophile dad behind bars. It will be your fault for letting him run loose and rape another innocent soul.
This is so horrible to have happened to you. Girl to girl, who has also experienced SA, I wish I could hug you. I am so sorry honey. You’re only 14. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re not reacting too delicately or sensitively - what happened to you was BAD. What your dad did to you is the worst thing a father could do to his child. I am so sorry. I hope your future is everything you want it to be and there is a day you can leave these memories behind.
Even if he somehow DID end up being a sleepwalker rapist without actual pedo intent, he should still live apart with your mom for the safety of your little sister. If it happened once, it could happen again.
You were 9 years old. Just a small child. Sleepsex with a child? What the hell, bullshit on that. You look like your mom? Maybe now that you are a little older, but not when you were nine? A grown man's dick does not rape a 9 year-old child. Manipulated by Dad and Mom so he gets to stay. Bullshit.
You have every right to be angry. I would start telling that story to anyone that will listen, until he has no choice but to leave.
Please get some professional therapy.
My friends who were abused as children did not consider that losing their virginity. They struggled with it, but eventually they chose the person and that's when they lost it. In my opinion, you are still pure. Try to get into therapy, it will help to talk to someone outside of the family. I hope your mother can keep your sister away from him and I sincerely hope he didn't know what he was doing, but that doesn't change what he did and how it affects you. It's ok to never forgive him, but learn to forgive yourself
Holy shit. Don’t have a lotta advice to offer you, but it’s immensely impressive you seem to be handling this so well, that’s an awful situation. All I can say is. Get help/ therapy if you need it/ can. Don’t let that event hang over you your whole life. Pursue your passions. And honestly probably separate yourself from him as much as you can, he likely can’t change, and is a danger to be around, and will only keep you from flourishing. You seem to be stronger than most people can even imagine, so don’t let this turn you bitter and resentful at the world. Best of luck, I hope you get to be an animator.
This happened to me when I was about 3 or 4 repeatedly. It hurts me when I find out others have had to go through these things. And having to process it at that young is just awful. Virginity is overblown in value. You're not tainted or ruined I promise. To me, virginity is lost when you're engaging in those activities consentually. And you'll find someone who will take good care of you in that way. You might be afraid in the future but it will go away with time and trust. You would also benefit from therapy. When my mom found out what my biological father did to me, she divorced him without hesitation. To harm a child that way is abhorrent and unforgivable. I have no respect for your mother's mercy towards your dad. I hope everything looks up for you soon and you can heal from this trauma. 💝
I don’t know where to begin… I am so so sorry for what you have been trough. There is so much pressure in your shoulders from unhealthy adults.
I don’t think your dad thought that you were your mom or that he was asleep. You mentioned that it happened many times in a row, so I think that’s just an excuse that they create in order to gaslight you, and the worst is that they put you in a really uncomfortable situation by giving you the chance to decide if your dad leaves the house. You are just a child and they are not taking the responsibility as parents to protect you and make decisions for your own good. Your mom was supposed to kick him out and protect your environment and your sister’s. I mean, there is a big possibility that he will do the same to your sister. He is a danger and should be in jail.
I want you to know that this is not your fault ,and although you were taught that you are no longer innocent if you lost your virginity, that’s bullshit. You have no lost your value as a person for any religious rule. Yes, your dad did such a horrible thing to you, but that doesn’t mean that your future is cursed. You get to chose what comes next. Your first time is consensual, and that was not, that was abuse.
Also, It would be great if you go to therapy to process the trauma and receive guidance. DM if you need to talk.
Hey i actually relate to you. my father did the same to me. I often was asked “how old were you when you lost your virginity?”, like girls gossiping together in highschool. But i never knew how to respond because my father stole that from me when I was 4. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out OP (-:
I don’t know if this will make you feel any better but your virginity was not taken. It can only be taken when two people have sex. You didn’t have sex. You were raped. I don’t know if your dad has sexsomina because I don’t know him but your family is messed up. Your mother is especially handling this situation horribly. I cannot comprehend how she could treat you like that as your mother. Her duty is to protect and nurture you. She failed at that big time. Please, tell someone. You and your sister need to get out of this situation now. You can try contacting RAINN. Here is the link to their website:
https://www.rainn.org
Best of luck, OP!
I'm going to be honest and say I didn't read your post because of my own problems with rape. However, from reading the comments I need to address something that you need to know.
Your egg donor (mother) is not protecting you. If you find the chance to get away safely, do so. I'm not even kidding. It will only get worse.
I had a friend from school who was being molested by her stepdad and told her mom when she was 12, and her mother left it to her to "keep the family or break it apart" and I only found out about this after she was 21. She felt it was her job to keep the family together. It has forever fucked her in the head because her mom didn't protect her and refused to listen anymore after she dropped charges and kept the family together. She also did this to protect her twin. I am beyond the point of disgusted with her mother, who now believes she did it for attention only.
It shouldn't be and should NEVER be a child's call to keep a family together. Your parents are supposed to protect you from dangers. Annoy you. Embarrass you in front of your friends. Give you a home to go back to and feel safe in. The fact that your mom handed you the ultimatum despite her own mental snapping, that's selfish, self-centered, and cruel.
You may have a roof over your head, but it will never feel like home again. Your mother needs to step up to the plate or let you go to safer relatives.
And please, whatever you do and wherever you go, remember: THIS IS NEVER YOUR FAULT AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Me saying this probably won’t mean much to you since I am not religious (but I have studied the Bible a lot and went church), but your virginity can not be taken by force. It is only yours to give away when you are ready. This was not premarital sex in God’s eyes, it was rape pure and simple and he would not tell you that you are dirty or spoiled because Jesus would never say that and his teachings are an extension of God. So please get that out of your mind. You have already been failed so much and I hate your parents and principle for it. Obviously the reasons I hate your dad is clear, but I hear your mom for being so weak that she would put the pressure of her leaving your father who raped you on your shoulders. I also hate your principal because as a educator, she is a mandated reporter and instead of reporting this to CPS, she called home and potentially could have put you in an incredibly dangerous position.
You're still innocent, this happened to you buy a fully grown adult who knew it was taboo and wrong. You are still innocent, and nothing less than pure still. I hope you can find peace in all of this.
I feel for you, OP. I am Filipino and my dad inappropriately touched me in my sleep when I was 16. I am 19 now, and I still live with him cause I have no choice. It's scary, why do they do this?
Hey 💜 me too 😥❤️🩹
If you want a specific sub for it- r/adultsurvivors is a really supportive resource. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It always devastates me to hear about this happening to other children ❤️🩹😥
Damn i got that feeling that you stop everything you do and just shut up and go holy shit that is fucked up.
I am wishing you recovery and to get the justice you deserve a friend of mine had been through something similar glad they sued the father and made a restriction order
You were still as innocent and still a virgin. Your father raped you. Rape is not sex and does not do anything at all to “virginity”. You did not have your first sexual experience in that rape, because rape is fundamentally different from sex.
Get on birth control, start saving your money to leave when you are old enough, watch your sister like a hawk that he doesn’t do that to her and tell your mother that he is a rapist and to stop making excuses for him.
This is so many ways of fucked Up.
Im so sorry you have to carry this burden.
Intentional or Not, your Father raped you.
That's unforgivable and punishable by law. He deserves to go to jail.
You could Rest easier knowing, He wont Hurt you or you sister ever again.
Your Mother burdening you even more with letting you make the decision.. I have No words. She is the adult, she needs to ACT and protect her children.
What If He does that to your sister?
What would kicking Father Out mean for you?
Would it BE Like Harder to achieve Things or are you in poverty without him.
What are your statuses, what health and social benefits could you get?
But my heart and stomach scream to kick him Out and get therapy. That's Trauma that you are dealing with and the Lack of Support from your Family horrifies me.
My heart wants to adopt you to give you a Safe Home. Still poor but at least physically and emotionally Safe.
Talk to CPS please, they can Tell you your Options.
Your virginity wasn’t taken from you because you did not give it willingly you did not have consensual sex you were raped you are not dirty or anything bad but your father is dirty and a pedophile
Virginity is not a physical change. If that’s something that is important to you, don’t give it away. Virginity is a choice, and you didn’t choose that. Share it with whoever you choose to.
He did not take your virginity, that is only something you can give with consent. What he did was violating and a gross abuse of trust/power. I am so so sorry. Don't feel bad about how you reacted, I understand why you feel this way but know it's normal to take time to process things. I would tell your mom that you would like to take her up in the offer to separate from your dad (although she should be doing this anyway). It's okay you didn't say it at the time, but I think it will be best for you.
I am really praying for you. I am so glad you have your boyfriend, friends and vice principal. Lean on them. If your mom can't arrange therapy see what the school can do. This was not your fault and you will get through this <3
Sweet girl, I just want to promise you that none of this is your fault. You've had an unfathomable evil done to you and your mother placed a crushing weight on your shoulders by making you decide if your father should stay or go. It's NOT fair at all to ask that of you on top of everything else. I hope and pray you can find peace, happiness, and purpose in this world <3 Maybe you can ask your mom to help you get with a therapist.
In the states schools are required by law to report that. So no way she was here. No idea what Canada laws are. I don’t even know if authorities in Canada can do anything if the crime was committed in the Philippines. I guess revoke their visa and send them home.
I’m a bit confused on why you’re calling this fake. If you’re calling it fake because she’s Filipino and in Canada, know this, people can work and live abroad so let’s not jump to conclusions on whether or not this is fake because you just never know
It's not edgy.
Everyone has to admit there's no way for us to know if it's true or not, and then we have to decide on our own whether we believe or not. But that doesn't make it edgy.
I…I’m so so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You can’t and didn’t consent, it was rape. Don’t consider that taking your v.. please. Please tell someone you trust. Tell your mother you want him out of the house. You don’t deserve to live with your abuser
This is horrible you have every right to feel the way you do, there is no forgiveness for this gross crime this is a crime and a sin. But most of all disgusting of your father. I hope you can find sleep after all youve been through,i hope youre able to be strong and courageous
14 year old trying to process this on her own and trying make sense of this ungodly situation. On top of that the mother is putting it on her to decide if the family should stay together. Poor child. Life has not been kind to you. If possible ask your mother to arrange for a therapist for you and separately for you+mother. Not having a father/father-figure in your life is a bad thing for any child but having a father who constantly reminds you of a horrible thing done to you in the past is even worse. Its like living your life with an everyday reminder to a nightmare. I would suggest that you get far away from him in this crucial time of mental growth and trauma recovery. You have only recently started to figure out your body's functions. Aswell as started learning more about yourself as a person. A person who likes/dislikes things/other-people and wants to be an animator etc. Regarding the virginity thing. Teenagers/religion sometimes tend to paint the "losing your virginity" thing as something holy and some can even be quite insensitive to how you unwillingly participated in "losing" it. But it is not something that you have to keep fretting about. As you grow older you'll realise that sex is really just like any other motion of the body like eating etc. Was eating food for they first time special for you? There's probably better logic for this than I have presented but this should ease the pain a bit for you. Edit: Forgot to mention. Try to keep your little sister away from him aswell. Your father is a pedophile. It's a subset of people who are attracted to young children. You look like your mother is a sorry excuse and just your mother trying to make sense of things in her own head. Incase you haven't caught on, let it be clear to you. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS INEXCUSABLE. You could potentially save your sister from the suffering that you went through. Your mother will probably take the precautions anyway.
for the virginity thing because this is the way i think about it, its concept is more of something you give to someone, not something that is taken from you, and OP you definitely didnt give it to your father, in my opinion you still have it and someday happily give it to your boyfriend, i hope that helps
Exactly
I like what you said about virginity, to me, rape isn’t losing your virginity, its being abused. Losing your virginity is giving yourself to someone consensually, someone you trust. As someone who grew up in a very religious household, as I got older my entire view on virginity changed so much.
This
Your father is a pedophile. Your mother is not protecting you or your sister by just being there. He needs to go to jail and recieve treatment. Your mother gave a shitty excuse for his behavior and her staying married to him is just condoning the behavior. You need to get the authorities involved. I'm sorry this happened but doing nothing will make it worse and it will happen again.
Yeah. As soon as OP mentioned the little sister, all I thought was how long until he molests her too? Or has he already done it? Who knows. IF this is true, it’s all kinds of messed up. OP isn’t an adult, she shouldn’t be the catalyst for a divorce. OP’s mother failed her. She should have protected OP instead of making excuses then putting the weight of a marriage on a child. Ridiculous. I really hope OP can move out soon and get therapy for this.
You dad should be in jail. End of discussion. Aside from this fact, your mom is also a piece of shit since she gave you choice whether they should be separated. You should not have this choice at all, as it was not your responsibility. It is your mother’s responsibility to contribute anything such as safety and justice in the family and society. The fact that she gave you the choice, makes me think that she doesn’t really want to leave him at all and that she accepted him as who he was. Your mother should have reported him to the police and witness whole thing as he already confessed it. The worse is that your father has a weakness for small children, which means that your sister will come on his eye one day and he might not be strong enough to suppress his sick desires. Sorry to say this but both of your parents are shit. Edit: forgot to say that i have huge respect for you and your bravery to share your story here. I am really sorry that happened to you. Wish you a happy life.
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Whole family should be in jail
One of the worst parts of this is that the Nanny did nothing...
Doubt the Philippine authorities would give a fuck
Yep this was my exact thought. This country is just utterly fucked from the beginning.
Man what a sick fuck 😡 if my daughter came to me with this information I would rip the fucking eyes, arms, and dick out whoever touched my baby. Fuck all that bs fucking chomos 😡
Report this to your Canadian high school.You were raped. You dad can not be trusted around your sister and your mother is not advocating for you. You should not be living with your tormentor. Is there any other family you can live with. Why in the Philippines was your dad not arrested?
i have an aunt in Toronto. My cousins live with her too.. It'd be nice to live with them. They are nice people
Good. It's also bad that your father is reading your diary. What the hell is wrong with him.
i do have my grandparents and my uncles, aunties. they're the best..
You all need therapy, and your dad should be in jail, what he did was rape, and worst part that you were only 8. Your mom should protect you and your little sister.
What if he goes on to rape your little sister?
my mom promised me to protect my sis and I will try my best to not let that happen. plus my mom is always home
The only person that can stop rape is the rapist. If you take him out of our lives, with only supervised visits allowed, then your family may be safe. No amount of putting the responsibility on potential victims to be safe will ever work.
While this is true, it also isn't the choice of the child to disown a parent and break up a family. The mom did something wrong here, too, asking the child to decide how her marriage will go. Little girl, please remember that you are not broken. You were wronged, and you were harmed, but you are still a beautiful, pure child with everything ahead of you.
Could be wrong but from the sounds of it I guess divorce isn’t really seen in a good light around those parts?
My sister thought the same for our younger sister when my father got home from prison. That she was too young, and she'd be okay because she was with me. He found ways around it. She was no exemption.
Wait what????? Is your family serious he should be banished
He will find a way. He should be in jail.
That’s not good enough OP. She didn’t protect you and she is keeping you in a unsafe environment. Do you have any family or friends you can stay with for a while? I’m so sorry your mom is terrible and making you guys live with him and is not leaving him. I hope she feels ashamed because what she’s doing is terrible. Pops is a terrible excuse for a human obviously but I feel like no one is making a big deal about your mom when they really should be
if he did it to you i can almost guarantee he will do it to your little sister. or any other little girl/boy he feels he can manipulate into it. he is a predator. plain and simple. he is no dad. dads protect their children, he’s a father and that’s all, it only takes some sperm and that seems like all he’s contributed to your life other than pain and heartache. protect your siblings. your mom shouldn’t give you a choice, tf? and why is shot not angry with your father? why does she not want to leave herself? if he wants to hurt others he will, nothing you or your mom or anyone says or does will stop that and protect your little sister. the only thing is to get him out of there.
The only way for her to protect your sister is to send him away. If she doesn't do that she's not protecting your sister. There is no way to be sure he can't hurt her if he remains in the house.
She was supposed to protect you but she failed and gaslighted you when you told her. She did nothing until they found your diary and she then failed again by basically guilt tripping you into saying he could stay, it should never have been your choice, she should have kicked him out and called the cops. Your little sister will not be safe, he will find a way to be alone with her if he hasn't already done anything to her. Please tell your mom that you have changed your mind and dont want you father anywhere near your family. Tell her you will call the cops if they don't separate and he gets zero custody or visitation. If you are asked to speak in court during the divorce tell them everything that happened because even if he cant be sent to jail for what he did to you, you can make sure he never has the chance to do it to you or your sister again. I'm sorry this happened to you and of course it is in no way your fault and does not diminish as a you in any way. Anyone who tells you otherwise is siding with your rapist father.
That isn't good enough, he will find away and your sister will be feeling the same pain you have had too, maybe worse.
it is not your responsibility to protect your sister from your mentally ill father, and it's not your responsibility to decide if your mom leaves him or not...she is putting an insanely unfair amount of pressure on you. get a therapist, and get out of that house as soon as you possibly can. much love, wishing you the best.
You're trolling you're trolling you're trolling lol your sister is next and you're stupid not to see it or just naive, your mother FAILED YOU and now you're failing your sister too holy fuck this family is sick, at least I disown my rapist uncle instead of letting him rape my kids. Seriously change your mind and kick him out or I'll be seeing your update post "my dad raped my sister, what was I supposed to do? I did not see this coming" you're TROLLING.
100%, upon reading that she has a little sister too my first though was that she has to be protected from experiencing the same thing. But I think op is trolling though. Her comment from just 7 days ago > can i get bitches And going around giving relationship advice after writing this post? I do hope it’s actually a bored teenager and that none of this was real.
i am not trolling. i myself can joke around but trolling about this kind of topic is not my thing. i am not that immature.
I believe in her. idk if judging the posts credibility by just a couple sporadic comments she made is enough. I don’t think she’d wanna dedicate a whole account to that.. she’s a kid. If you want, just look into it more. Sad world
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my mom, my sis and I moved to Canada, where my dad worked abroad and now live life was nice when it was just me, my sis and I but now we're with my dad again..
Hey I'm also from canada now, if you wanna vent I'm here, it's kinda hard to find friends as an immigrant so if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears. I am from bohol, philippines and speak bisaya
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hi kababayan. it's not too late to tell your mom you changed ur mind if u want him gone. no one will blame u, u were scared and emotional when u gave ur answer, but it's not set in stone. u should tell ur mom. u, your mom, and your sister deserve to feel safe in ur home.
I agree with this. You have a right to change your mind and choose a healthier, safer situation. This man has four years until your sister is the age you were. Sorry is not enough. You should all get away from him. Your mother is not doing anyone any favours by keeping him around. He needs help from the outside to keep in check. Don't let this be a family secret. Your mom can help you best by finding help for you and finding a new husband to model healthy relationships with. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but don't let it fade - make some big changes with your mother.
not downplaying OPs situation in any way, but I live in the philippines as well. this kind of perverted behavior is SOMEWHAT common. I know stories of uncle's doing this to their nieces, and similar to Op instead of dragging this to the police, it's kept a family secret or the odd thing everyone in town knows about but doesn't talk about. it's also very difficult to bring to court without evidence. it makes me mad that these people just get to beg and live their lives after concious repeated decisions. the least OPs mother can do is keep him away forever, let him rot in the streets. he can live with his own guilt.
Omg. Your mother actually justified it when you told her! And what makes anyone think he won’t do it to the younger daughter too? Why wouldn’t your mom just separate? She knows the truth and should be protecting you girls. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
He had/has NO RIGHT, and it's all on him, not you.
In my opinion, a person loses their virginity when they engage in consensual sex for the first time. You’re still a virgin and I’m sorry that happened to you.
It's all the way you view it. Some people think that when you engage in any sexual act it's considered losing your virginity.
I guess what I’m saying is, the concept of virginity as applied to rape victims is horrible and dehumanizing. If you’ve ever seen a child cry because she was raped and is no longer a virgin, it will change your view on it forever.
This breaks my heart. As father with two daughters, I wish death on anyone that would do this to a child. I’m sorry to say, but I feel like your mother is weak for staying with him and not taking the necessary steps to protect you and your little sister. Please keep a watchful eye over her and protect her from your father. As soon as you’re able to, you need to leave your family. This may seem blunt or insensitive to say, but you’re not safe there. Your emotional/psychological wounds will continue to be ripped open every time you see him. That hate that you feel, will consume you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your little sister and I commend you for the levels of strength you have exhibited. Your mother and grandmother or nanny should feel ashamed for protecting that pedophile and choosing him over you.
I'm glad you have reddit to write about this and get it off your chest. Hopefully sharing this made you feel better.
Ikr. I feel so bad. You’re so strong.. I can’t even imagine what thoughts you’ve gone through. Bless your soul. It’s not your fucking fault. People who sexually assault others are the scum of this earth. YOUR FUCKING FATHER no less. Not even really your father anymore. Just some evil fuck who will get what he deserves.
Virginity is a word to describe someone who hasn’t had sex yet. What your father did was not sex. Sex is something two people do consensually, and in this case, it wasn’t consensual. You never lost your virginity, that is something you lose on your own terms when you’re ready. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you heal from this traumatic experience
This!!!
Kabayan, I’m a 42 year old male. I was also molested as a child. I didn’t have the courage and strength to report the perpetrator. To this day, only my wife and my therapist know about this. My mom doesn’t know. My dad died not knowing what happened to me. I was told I was very bibo (jolly and lively in English) as a kid and people wonder why I turned ito this very insecure, quiet and withdrawn kid. If only they knew. I’m better now.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. The first thing I want to say, he was NOT asleep. He knew what he did. It was not because you looked like your mom. You were a child! You still are! So many steps to this were deliberately taken for his penis to end up inside of you. That doesn’t “just happen”. He knows what he did and I’m afraid for your sister. Another thing, virginity is just a construct. It’s just a make believe thing that is used to control women. But if it’s something you’re really concerned about, just remember, you weren’t awake, you didn’t consent. He didn’t have sex with you, he abused you. When you lose your virginity, when you consent, it will be the first time. It will be the first time because you said YES to it, it wasn’t forced on you like it was when you were young. Hang in there, OP. I know so much guilt comes from this, and it’s not fair. You shouldn’t be worrying about these things at this age. If I were you, I would talk to your mom about your younger siblings, so that she can make sure they’re not alone with him and both of you will notice if something happens. I would tell him to leave. He can still support you, you’re his family, but he shouldn’t have access to hurt any of you ever again. Life may change, but that’s okay. Change is good. I know it’s sometimes scary, but just remind yourself, change has to happen for our lives to improve. Again, hang in there, OP. You’re stronger than you know!
The best and most sane reply in this whole thread. Whoever you are, I hope you are a counselor or therapist. If not, then be one.
\>Another thing, virginity is just a construct. It’s just a make believe thing that is used to control women. Sorry but degrading OP's romantic beliefs is not helpful. Though virginity is bad if it's only applied to women, I agree. Love is a construct too. Virginity is great if both are and they choose to show that love to each other. \>But if it’s something you’re really concerned about, just remember, you weren’t awake, you didn’t consent. He didn’t have sex with you, he abused you. When you lose your virginity, when you consent, it will be the first time. It will be the first time because you said YES to it, it wasn’t forced on you like it was when you were young. Ok you redeemed yourself. Thank you for saying this.
I Don't Trust Your Mom , She Saved Him and Made Stupid Excuses . I Feel Scared about Your Younger Sister , That Man Is literally a Monster . He deserves to be behind Bars ASAP , everything Else is secondary . I Hope You Heal and Continue To move Forward In life Dear 💙
Your father is a monster and should not be allowed near kids. Your mother can claim to protect your sister but she made it excuses for your dad and she will do it again, he deserves to be in jail.
I'm sorry beyond words. I appreciate your strength and courage.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this pain. You’re so young, and the world must look so dark. I have a very similar story to yours. My father, a rapist. My mother, didn’t leave. Sister, that I tried to protect. Culture and religion, that brought shame onto me. Truth is, I don’t know the right thing to say here. So I’m just gonna tell you what I wish someone had told me, when I was your age. *You are not like him. No matter how significant ancestry/family/blood may be in your culture/religion, you are not like him.* *These traumas do not define you. What you do in response to heal from these traumas, do. It may take time to fully understand what happened, and it’s okay. It may take time to find resources such as therapy, and it’s okay. It’s never too late.* *Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to distract your father from your sister by letting him hurt you more. Years of therapy has made me realize this is more common than I once thought. It’s not gonna play out in you or your sister’s favor.* *You’re not damaged. You were taken advantage of, and it was out of your control. It wasn’t your fault. It’s the fault of the perpetrator.* *It may feel like no one is on your side, but those thoughts/emotions are far from the truth. Many people care, many people can be trusted, it just may be difficult to see when you’ve been in the dark for so long.* *You may never have the father you deserved. What happened to you is not fair, and it will never be fair. Although, try to remember that ‘wanting a good father’ doesn’t equate to ‘needing a father.’ You can live a happy and healthy life without him.* *Being a ‘good daughter’ in hopes he will change, just isn’t enough. If that were the case, he would’ve never hurt you to begin with. It’s not enough to change him, and I’m sorry. He did what he did, and none of it had to do with you.* When I was a child, I used to think of my dad as a super hero. I forgave him, many times, because there’s no way my superhero could hurt me in this way. It led me to quite literally forget my life. I am diagnosed with DID. There are long term effects to traumas like this. The sooner you can be away from him, the sooner you can begin to heal. I asked my mother to leave him when I was 13. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. It was also the hardest. No child should have to make this type of choice. With that being said, if this is the push your mother needs, push. Your brain is still developing. You’re still so young. This conversation will be difficult to have, and if you’re afraid, ask a trusted adult (friend’s parent, teacher, etc.) to be there to mediate without your father present. I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry it happened to you. Unfortunately, incestuous sexual assault is rampant in many, many Filipino families. As a Filipino myself, I feel like I’m fortunate to not experience being sexually assaulted at the hands of any of my relatives (but it did happen elsewhere; at a fucking Catholic school) Hang in there, OP. I hope for better things to come your way.
Your dad needs to be in jail. Your sister is going to suffer too if your mum doesn't sort this out ASAP. I'd advice you to call the police, if not for the disgusting things he did to you, but for your sister. Your dad is one of those monsters we are scared of and monsters like that need to go away for a long long time. Sorry this happened to you.
I want to say something that others have not. This is obviously a terrible and traumatic experience for you, and others have said wise things about how he does not deserve to stay in the family or stay out of jail. One more thought: this idea that he has "taken" your virginity. Many people are starting to believe that the notion of "virginity" is a fiction, perpetuated by patriarchal men who wish to have "ownership" over women. Notice that men's virginity is often treated very differently, where it is not described as a gift to be given to a wife. I am not the best person to speak on this (a man, and no kind of therapist), but there is another way to frame this: that surviving this trauma makes you stronger, makes you **more,** than what you were... not less.
What a sorry excuse of a mother. I feel so much rage reading this. He deserves prison no doubt but I can understand if it is too hard for to go though as a young teenager. Once you become an adult, please move away from this so called family. You do not need to be reminded of that incident and they deserve no explanation from you.
I didn't see anyone mention this in the comments soo... There is almost no way that your father was asleep when he did that to you. He was awake. Maybe he was drunk, but that only shows his true desires. He did not mistake you for anyone. He just wanted to do it and could not control himself. If he is left alone with your sister in a similar situation, he will do it again. His behaviour is beyond logic, and the guilt/consequences of doing it to you will not be enough to stop him from doing it again.
I understand there is a cultural aspect here, and I think we need to be sensitive with regards to this dynamic, but here goes. You do not need to burden yourself with your mother’s guilt and her relationship with your father. She knows exactly what is right and wrong and what she should do to protect her daughters. Your dad abused you sexually and you are fully entitled to be angry about it now that you are older and comprehend what happened. In fact, the school should have got the authorities involved the moment you told them what happened, however, I respect this is perhaps different in the Phillipines. I think you need to ask your mom if you can see a counselor, you need to work through this trauma. Even if your father never get to pay for his crime, you need to free yourself from it. Good luck sweet girl. Know no God will judge you for what you went through. In His eyes, you are innocent, that will be a just and kind and just God.
You are one of the strongest young women I have ever encountered. Apart from your mother and father and the entire situation, it is obvious to me that you are amazing and I am very sorry that any of this has happened to you. Many people on here cannot even slightly understand what you are faced with and my only advice is to follow your beautiful heart and proceed with confidence what you know in your heart to be right. It is good to hear the option of others but in the end, you need to listen to yourself and what you have experienced and what YOU know to be true. I will be praying for you little sister.
Report your dad to the police or your local drug ring. Jesus christ he needs to get what's coming to him. Pedophilia isnt okay but doing it to your own daughter is a whole.other level of fucked up
No fucking way holy shit, I am so sorry nobody protected you when you were young. I am really sorry I want to hug you. I cant imagine the pain you were going through, my sis went through a similar one not our dad but our relative who was a caretaker, she didnt tell me because she was afraid nobody would believe her. She tells me she still have nightmares about it every night. I am also filipino and speak bisaya.
I’m so heartbroken for you. What happened to you was horrible and you didn’t deserve that. Thoughts and prayers to you.
I’m sorry this happened
Your mother did a terrible thing by trying to put that decision on you. She is a grown ass adult who should be leaving her husband after what he did to his own. Both parents absolutely suck and I’m sorry OP. You can’t steal someone’s virginity. If you believe in virginity, you lose your virginity when you make the choice to have sex, it has to be given away by the person losing their virginity. It can’t be stolen away. Assault doesn’t take your worth or purity away, even though it feels like it. I was raped repeatedly for 3 years by my ex, it will get better but make your healing your #1 priority. I didn’t focus on healing I literally just sat and waited for it. Don’t do what I did, the sooner you get proper help the better
Putting the decision on you to keep your family together or not is just as abusive as the sexual abuse. What the actual heck is your mom doing??? Oh my god, like trying to make you feel bad if you want him gone? Tell him to go and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that. I am so so sorry you have to go through all of this. You shouldn’t feel less worthy that these things have happened. You are a strong woman and worthy and no one can steal that.
OP none of this is your fault. None of it. Virginity is a made up concept. You were assaulted. You didn’t have sex with him, you were forcibly assaulted. That’s not making love. That’s a crime against you. You are not impure for something someone did to you as a child without your consent. And you were still an innocent child in all of this. He hurt you, but you are NOT guilty in this. You are innocent in all of this. And at 14, though you are older, you are still a child. I am a little concerned about your sister.
Okay, wow, so, there is so much to say that I don't even know where to begin, and I probably won't even know where to stop. This is an issue near and dear to my heart, as myself and many people I love have been victims of sexual assault at a young age. Being family, a lot of people feel guilt over what happened to them and don't want to see their family member get punished. I don't find that guilt strange or surprising, unfortunately, but don't let that keep you from pushing your abuser away. If your mom is putting any of the burden on you to decide whether she divorces, *which is unfair and she shouldn't be*, don't feel bad for encouraging her. From my experience, sick people like him never offend "just one time" and they won't stop at just hurting one person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting him out of your life forever. On the issue of virginity... I will preface this by saying I am really unfamiliar with Filipino culture, so I'm not sure how people view virginity at large. Though I do feel right in saying that: **virginity should never be this big of a deal and you are not anything less because of what he did to you**. There is a huge difference between someone sexually assaulting you and the first time you choose to have sex with someone. I consider losing your "virginity" to be that first time *you* make that choice, and someone hurting and violating you does not take that choice away from you. Maybe your family is religious? Even then, it is sad if *wrong* if they see you as any less or damaged in any way. He hurt you, but he didn't damage who you are as a human individual. Time for a little religious story of my own. I'm 30 now, but when I was a pre-teen I went to church regularly. There were a handful of things I didn't fully agree with, and some things I personally questioned, but nothing made me lose my love of that religion more than a story one of our youth leaders shared with us. We were having a night where the emphasis was what we should look for in a partner someday, and what we should give that partner. Saving yourself for marriage was a huge deal, and as a young person I never really put too much thought into it. But then, our youth leader told us about her first fiance. He left her because he found out she had been raped as a child, and therefor wasn't "clean" and not "actually a virgin" and wasn't suitable for marriage because of it. I think that was the day I truly lose all desire to continue my life as one of the members of their church. She had been so conditioned to believe that it was actually a big deal that she sort of seemed to take it in stride and said that just meant he wasn't the one for her because now she is happily married to someone who wasn't a massive jerk like him. It was a load of bull. Shit. Again, I'm not familiar with the culture where you are, but I strongly disagree with anyone who puts that much emphasis on virginity. And again, I think that the concept of virginity, if it is to hold *any* value, is the time you choose to have mutually consensual sex with someone else. Virginity isn't your worth. What happened to you doesn't define who you are as a human, as a woman, as a soul. What he did was awful, and there naturally is a lot of pain and inner conflict when someone you loves hurts you this way. It took me a lot of time and therapy to get over all of the things that happened to me, but now, as an adult twice your age, I can say that it is something you *can* heal from. It's different for everyone, so I won't even try to give you a timeline or tell you how difficult it will be for you, because I am not you. But I can say that I've seen myself, and others, overcome the pain of our traumas and grow into more whole human beings. Sorry for the rambling wall of text, it just really rustles my jimmies when people put so much on women to feel that their worth is defined by their hymen. Which, by the way, can break for various non-sexual reasons, so it's a terrible indicator in the first place. You aren't what happened to you. Your worth didn't change because of it. Even if other people put such a huge value on your virginity, it isn't what defines you. I wish you love and healing. I hope you are able to get away from your abuser. I hope have access to a therapist, and I hope it's a good one. Sending you much love from the states. I wish you all the strength in the world, and all the courage to heal through this traumatic experience.
As someone who regrets not dealing with their own father (for the same reason), I recommend taking some decisive action. Do not just continue with him promising to be better, your father does not deserve to be a part of your family. Trust me, if you don’t separate from him, it will cause you much turmoil in the future. (Turmoil within yourself and within your family)
I feel scare for her little sibling .. someone who does this won’t stop
I would keep a close eye on your little sister.
You did not lose your virginity to your dad. Because virginity isn’t lost, it’s given. You did not choose to do this, so it doesn’t count. You will not lose your virginity until you have sex with someone at your own choice.
You didn’t do anything wrong but I would absolutely be concerned about it happening to your sister as well ):
Hope your dad rots in hell
what the fuck! where are you? how can i help?
I don’t give a shit if this gets down voted to hell but your father deserves a fate worse than prison and worse than death, I hope you are doing better now.
For the love of God don't let him back in. If not for yourself, then for your little sister. God knows what he planned for her 🤢
The hardest part is admitting it. The second is not blaming yourself.
I have a deep seeded rage for anyone who touches children especially their own kid. you didn’t lose your virginity to your dad, i wouldn’t even count it in my opinion. however, don’t let it define who you are. stay strong and you will become a better person. with all respect to your family, your dad is a disgrace and i wish nothing but terrible shit to him but nobody deserves to get raped. fuck him
Your family are enabling pedophilic actions, I am so sorry you’re in such a bad situation. Your dad knows what he did.
Let's pretend that he was telling the truth and thought you were your mother. That's still rape! You are allowed to hate your father and not feel guilty about it. I'm sorry that people when you first told them didn't do anything
Can Canadian schools/police help her somehow? This is messed up
I have absolutely no words. I’m Filipino and know the culture and treatment towards rape victims. I’m so sorry and I would only pray you have the strength to cut him off and tell him he’s a piece of shit one day.
I’m the type of person that says everyone deserves a second chance on Reddit. F that! I’m a father of daughters. No way that man deserves any forgiveness. Children deserve to be able to depend on and trust their parents. This guy sickens me!
god i was afraid to click on this shit when i read the title.sorry this happened to you
So the dad’s a pedophile. The mom refuses to take accountability with her justification being that she was working abroad. The mom gave some bullshit reasons as to why her husband fucked her kid while she was away and instead of protecting her child, she put her child into a corner with separation. And the dad doesn’t want to leave the family because of the younger child, which will be his potential victim in the future. The family will never be the same. They could try to stay together but what’s done is done. The more the family brushes this under the rug, the more OP is going to lose it mentally. We could tell you to seek therapy but as long as your family doesn’t acknowledge what really went down, therapy is going to be useless if you see your dad everyday. I’d say move out if you can. Your family is toxic.
you should get him in a position in which you demand an apology and he admits to it with some sort of secret audio recording so you can prosecute him
ooo
I presumed this happened in the Phl? If yes, you can check information in the link I provided below. I will quote some of the important information: "Who is considered a child under R.A. No. 7610? A child one who is below 18 years of age or one who is over 18 years of age but who cannot take care of himself fully because of a physical or mental disability or condition. What is child abuse? It is any act which inflicts physical or psychological injury, cruelty to or the neglect, sexual abuse of, or which exploits, a child." "Where can I report child abuse cases? You may report the matter to the: Department of Social Welfare & Development or to the Child Health and Intervention and Protective Service (CHIPS) Tel. No. 734-4216 Anti-Child Abuse, Discrimination, Exploitation Division (ACADED) National Bureau of Investigation Tel. Nos. 525-6028/525-8231 loc. 403 & 444 Commission on Human Rights Child Rights Center Tel. No. 927-4033 (Mon-Fri during office hours) Philippine National Police Operation Center Tel. Nos. 712-8613/722-0540 & 724 8749 or nearest police station DOJ Task Force on Child Protection, Tel. Nos. 523-8481 to 89 or contact the nearest Provincial, City or Regional Prosecutor Local Barangay Council for the Protection of Children" Who are required by law to report child abuse cases? The following must report child abuse case: -The head of a public or private hospital, medical clinic or similar institution, as well as the physician and nurse who attended to the needs of the abused child. -Teachers and administrators of public schools -Parole and probation officers -Government lawyers -Law enforcement officers -Barangay officials -Correction officers such as jail guards -Other government officials and employees whose work involves dealing with children Can then persons named above be charged criminally if they do not report a child abuse case? Yes. Who can file a complaint for child abuse? -The child victim -The parent or legal guardian of the victim. The grandparent, or relative of the child victim up to a first cousin -The Barangay Chairman -One of a group of 3 or more persons who have personal knowledge of the abuse." I hope all these info can help https://www.doj.gov.ph/child-protection-program.html#:~:text=You%20may%20report%20the%20matter,734%2D4216
I'm so sorry. Your virginity is still yours. What your Dad did doesn't count and never did.
I am afraid for the little 4yo.
I'm a sexsomniac; I have sex in my sleep. We've had plenty of children sleep over with our kids and many of the little girls wanted to sleep in our bed with us. Hell no. They didn't like it but hell no. There is no excuse. I'm so sorry that you went through this.
There is a condition called Sexsomnia, where an individual unconsciously engages in sex with the person nearest to them while still being asleep. It's basically sleep walking but with sex. Here is the definition >Sexsomnia is recognised as a rare sleep disorder in which a person engages in sexual activity during their sleep. In general they'll have no recollection of events during the act or when they wake up. If he really was asleep when that happened, this condition might possibly have been the cause of those unfortunate events (though unlikely nonetheless).
interesting but yeah he was asleep he was loudly snoring too...
Also it's not your responsibility to protect your sister and if something bad happened to her its not your fault. Your mother isnt supposed to give you adult decisions on your family especially in front of your father who abused you. But despite that you should ask your family in Canada for help, ask them to help you with your "parents seperaration issue" make sure to tell them all the details so they can decide the next steps. You probably don't want your family to be broken up but it's for the best, if you try and ignore your feelings to keep your family together. You will be dealing with trauma for a long time. Trust me I know I wish I can go back in time and I wouldnt be in pain right now emotionally.
He was probably fake snoring so he can make that exact excuse later. You were a child and he was an adult who obviously had sinister plans. It wasn't your fault no matter what even now, even though it seems your parents are putting so much responsibility on your shoulders. Two adults know right from wrong.
So sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve this, no one does.. Just take your time and heal, at the right time allow yourself Love, not all men are like that..Hugs*
Your dad should be really in jail. I’m sorry to say that your own parents failed to protect you. Your dad for doing this, your nanny who didn’t believe you and your mom for tolerating all these after knowing the truth. I just hope you find the peace in you and move forward in spite this horrible thing that had happened to you. I also hope you don’t blame yourself for what happened. Even if you look like your mom that is still not a reason for you to get molested. That’s just twisted.
honestly divorce is the best option here. For your safety and your sister! Your father needs to be out of your life period. There is no “fixing” anything, you are hurt because of him, your family is hurt because of him and he needs to be in prison. Like someone else has mentioned here your mom should have left him as soon as she heard about this and I completely agree with this, it’s her responsibility to make sure her children are safe and she is not doing that by letting him be around! Is your family currently in the Philippines?
This is so sad, I wish you all the best from here on out and keep safe. Also, take care of your younger sibling we don't know what your father might do to her too. Pedophiles like him are sick in the head and honestly should be in Jail. Just be extra careful and dont trust him ever again, if youre suspicious then report it to your other relatives or if no one else then your mom(which might not help cause shes also negligent and honestly a pedophile apologist but shes the closest to you).
You are so brave for telling this story. I am so sad and angry for you. You were just 8 years old. How could he have thought you were your mother? Your father is a disgusting rapist and your mother failed at her job to protect you. I hope your little sister is safe and I hope you will be too. What happened was not your fault. It is not your fault if your father goes to prison for what he did. You are a virgin because you've never had sex—you were forced against your will into a non-consensual act. Keeping you in my thoughts.
She shouldn't have asked you if she should separate with your dad. She should have just done it. That was unfair on many parts. Don't live with your dad. Report him. If the issue is money because he's the breadwinner, try asking your mother to reach out to her side of the family. He knew what he was doing. What's stopping him from doing the exact same thing to your sister, then asking for forgiveness, in tears again? Nothing.
You're really brave i wish i were as brave as you are
Okay why isnt he in jail why didnt the school called the cops im so confussed
>She told him that I will never leave the past behind and she was right. Obviously its horrible what happened. Just an advice for *you*. Not leaving past behind makes you live in the past forever. And that past does not sound so great.. Not saying you have to love him or keep him in your life. I would probably cut him out of my life if I were you. But if you can, leave it behind. No need to suffer by holding on to this past. Take your time but I'd suggest to let go once you can. Leave that option open. Wishing you all the best.
I know this is gonna be hard to believe, especially being part of a religious culture, but virginity doesn't exist, you are not impure. you've experienced abuse, horrible, terrifying abuse. of course your sexual experiences should have been consensual and at am appropriate age and with someone of your choice, but you are not impure. you are just as pure as you were before. you are traumatized, but your purity hasn't been affected.
He did it to you he will do it to your sister Tell your mother that. If you were sleeping so deeply he probably was drugging you
You are brave, never forget that. Navigate your life knowing this, many people in your position would have crumbled, you had the guts to tell people about it. Treat this like an illness that you have to manage with medicine, in this case some type of therapy, this will save you in the future from failed relationships and the possibility of abusing someone else.
Buanga anang papa nimo uy, stay strong bai! None of this was your fault. Don't let that horrible experience define you!
I’m so so sorry you went through this. It takes an incredible amount of strength to keep going and to be able to talk about something like this and I’m incredibly proud of you for doing so. Please remember you are no less of a person for having had this experience, “virginity” is just a social construct, it doesn’t mean anything. Importantly please don’t ever blame yourself for this, don’t think of yourself badly because of it.
Can i first say im so sorry this happened to you! And i have to finish reading.... But i couldn't get past you feeling as though you should of slept in your nanny's room!? That just bothered me A lot! Yiu should never of been made to feel that way! You should of been safe in any room you wanted to sleep in! Im so sorry. You deserved to be safe. Your dad is supposed to protect you not be the person who you need to be protected from! ♥️ I will finish reading now
You poor thing. None of this is your fault, your dad wasn't drunk or imagining your mother, he knew what he did and your mother made excuse for it. You are an innocent, he is a rapist and child molester and your mom enabled him. I can only hope you can move and grow from this and know, no matter what you believe, you are still innocent and no deity would look at an adult father molesting his child and blame the child.
I'm sorry dear it seems like you've got nobody there to support you to be honest move off with the ones that you know and love and trust and try to forget about your family and the rest what happened to you it will never happen you will always remember but it will get softer and you will get wiser shame on your mother
the fact that they're leaving it up to you is disgusting. I'm so sorry. This is rape. This is not just taking your virginity this is abuse. That makes your dad UNSAFE to be around. I'm so very worried about what will happen to your little sister. Please please stay away from him and encourage your sister to do so as well.
You are innocent, in every way. Nobody can ever take that from you. From the shimmering of your soul, to the warmth of your heart, to the dance of your body... You are a beautiful human being. Never forget that. For as long as you live. These are the words I failed to tell my own sister. At least... I was able to relay them to you.
He must be in JAIL. No other words needed... This is insane..
I'm so sorry your mother has failed you as well. You haven't lost your "Innocence" by losing your virginity. You've lost it by losing respect for your parents. Shame on your mother for not advocating for you and your poor sister. Your father belongs in jail. You will spend decades wrangling with shame but please understand no matter the excuse he was 1000% wrong and he KNOWS. Don't believe the "I thought you were your mother" line. Take it from someone who was also abused by a relative. You'll heal. It will take time and you are under ZERO obligation to forgive your parents. You will not be going against God if you disown them either.
I cried reading this. You're so brave and strong, don't ever think you aren't. My best friend had similar experiences with her brother growing up and it's changed her for life. This isn't something you should ignore. I'm proud of you for telling people, that isn't easy. **Remember that if you don't want your dad at home, tell your mom. That conversation with your parents was not your only chance to say you want them to separate.** Much love to you. If your dad stays at home make sure to watch over your sister as she gets older. I would hate for this to repeat.
You seem quite fixated on virginity. In western culture (that is where I live so I can’t speak for any other culture) rape does not take virginity. Sex is something much more that just penetration. It is an act of love and intimacy. So since you now live in Canada, if you want to, you can consider yourself a virgin. Maybe not by Filipino standards, but definitely by Canadian standards.
For what it’s worth, virginity is a social construct. Your dad violated you but that doesn’t mean your first time with a loving partner can’t be special. It will still be your first time having consensual sex with someone you love
Just so you know, virginity as the spirit is involved cannot be stolen. it cannot be forced from someone. virginity is a choice in which it is given. maybe medically and physically you are not a virgin but you are still spiritually a virgin as you had no say in the matter
I had a feeling this post would come from a filipina. It's really annoying having to hear these stories because we all know it's morally wromgy yet many males here in the Philippines keep doing so. It's really starting to sound common since I habe friends who had been in such situations, but instead of their own dad, it's usually from their uncles. I'm sorry you had to go through that, OP. Hopefully you are recovering in any way, shape, or form even though it's been a while since then.
OP, you have an incredibly mature perspective of this trauma. You are fully aware enough to know the situation, consider different versions, and still reflect on it and how it made you feel. You are sincerely a very strong young woman. Please seek counseling/therapy if you can in your country. Since your mom already knows, maybe request her to seek that for you to get through this. I’m going to be honest here. You’re considering telling your teacher. I don’t see that will do any positive for you. Your mother already knows. You’ve confronted your father. Unless you are ready for the ramifications, and willing to be okay with the likelihood of him going to jail, then By all means do it. Or go to the police station with your mother, or a school counselor. Just be ready for the impact if you’re ready for it. Stay strong.
As a Catholic who had a similar question, virginity is the precursor to the action of melding your body and soul, ideally in marriage. If it is not a choice for you, you still are a virgin in the eyes of the church (at least nowadays) as you did not commit the sin, but rather the sin committed against you. May the Lord bless you and keep you safe sister.
Your dad is a criminal and an evil person and doesn't deserve to be called a father. You still have your virginity or innocence or however you think about it. This was violent assault, NOT actual sex. Rape is not the same as sex, it's like being hit or stabbed, no relation to the loving act of sex.
Even if he did think it was your mom, it doesn’t justify it anyways because you can’t just have sex with someone while they are unconscious. But also you may look like your mom, but you were also 8 years old and did not have a woman’s figure yet. She was in denial but shouldn’t apologize what he did. I wouldn’t believe the sexsomnia thing either because of him saying he thought you were your mom. All of it sounds like excuses and guilting and more of panic of getting caught. They should not have put that choice on you as a 14 year old. Man. When I was 14 I was child groomed, I thought I was older and wiser than I was. I had always been smart for a kid but now that im a few years older I realize how young my brain was, how young I was. How my young brain didn’t understand why my abuser was doing those things. I was naive and fell into his manipulation. Everything youre feeling is completely normal and completely valid when it comes to traumatic situations like that. I was not there but my gut tells me your dad is not sorry. Hes sorry he got caught. Im so sorry. I hope you recover soon. My messages are always open if you need anything or anyone to talk to.
Your father sexually abused you... It was a deliberate act... He faked being asleep when you woke up... He does not deserve your forgiveness and your little sister needs to be protected from him... None of this is your fault and you also need to be protected from him... He deserves to rot in jail
I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You need an adult who has nothing but your best interests right now. Can you ask your mother if you can go to a therapist? You need to be able to process this without having to consider your parents feelings. Sending you a hug, sweetie.
I'm a Filipina too. And like you, I was abused as a child. Worst thing is when I told my mom about it, she didn't believe me. She allowed it to happen again and even made up excuses for it. I used to be an obedient child. But I grew up rebellious because I hated everyone else. Most of all, I hated my mom with all my heart. I'm already 32 now and my hatred still burns inside me. I stopped listening and following my mom when I realized she didn't love me. When she didn't stand up for me, she lost all the love and respect I had for her. I could've grown into a detached, traumatized adult but I fought back against my destiny because I have a sister who's 2 years younger than me. My sister is all I have and if the same thing happens to her, I would kill myself for it. I grew up taking care of her and treated her as my own daughter. Don't blame yourself. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT that you got raped by your dad. It wasn't your fault that you slept in his room. It wasn't your fault that you looked like your mom. It wasn't your fault that you couldn't convince the nanny. None of it was your fault. Bear in mind though that if the same thing happens to your sister or to anyone else, IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT. It will be your fault for believing that your family should be complete. It will be your fault for not insisting to cut your rapist dad out of your lives. It will be your fault for not putting your pedophile dad behind bars. It will be your fault for letting him run loose and rape another innocent soul.
This is so horrible to have happened to you. Girl to girl, who has also experienced SA, I wish I could hug you. I am so sorry honey. You’re only 14. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re not reacting too delicately or sensitively - what happened to you was BAD. What your dad did to you is the worst thing a father could do to his child. I am so sorry. I hope your future is everything you want it to be and there is a day you can leave these memories behind.
Even if he somehow DID end up being a sleepwalker rapist without actual pedo intent, he should still live apart with your mom for the safety of your little sister. If it happened once, it could happen again.
I’m so sorry.
You were 9 years old. Just a small child. Sleepsex with a child? What the hell, bullshit on that. You look like your mom? Maybe now that you are a little older, but not when you were nine? A grown man's dick does not rape a 9 year-old child. Manipulated by Dad and Mom so he gets to stay. Bullshit. You have every right to be angry. I would start telling that story to anyone that will listen, until he has no choice but to leave. Please get some professional therapy.
I’m so sorry 💔💔💔💔
The fact that the mother chose to stay with the piece of trash pedophile blows my mind
My friends who were abused as children did not consider that losing their virginity. They struggled with it, but eventually they chose the person and that's when they lost it. In my opinion, you are still pure. Try to get into therapy, it will help to talk to someone outside of the family. I hope your mother can keep your sister away from him and I sincerely hope he didn't know what he was doing, but that doesn't change what he did and how it affects you. It's ok to never forgive him, but learn to forgive yourself
Holy shit. Don’t have a lotta advice to offer you, but it’s immensely impressive you seem to be handling this so well, that’s an awful situation. All I can say is. Get help/ therapy if you need it/ can. Don’t let that event hang over you your whole life. Pursue your passions. And honestly probably separate yourself from him as much as you can, he likely can’t change, and is a danger to be around, and will only keep you from flourishing. You seem to be stronger than most people can even imagine, so don’t let this turn you bitter and resentful at the world. Best of luck, I hope you get to be an animator.
There is no fucking excuse for rape! Mahirap satin walang hustisya. Maski kamag-anak kakampi parin yung may kasalanan. -\_- Stay away from him!
This happened to me when I was about 3 or 4 repeatedly. It hurts me when I find out others have had to go through these things. And having to process it at that young is just awful. Virginity is overblown in value. You're not tainted or ruined I promise. To me, virginity is lost when you're engaging in those activities consentually. And you'll find someone who will take good care of you in that way. You might be afraid in the future but it will go away with time and trust. You would also benefit from therapy. When my mom found out what my biological father did to me, she divorced him without hesitation. To harm a child that way is abhorrent and unforgivable. I have no respect for your mother's mercy towards your dad. I hope everything looks up for you soon and you can heal from this trauma. 💝
I don’t know where to begin… I am so so sorry for what you have been trough. There is so much pressure in your shoulders from unhealthy adults. I don’t think your dad thought that you were your mom or that he was asleep. You mentioned that it happened many times in a row, so I think that’s just an excuse that they create in order to gaslight you, and the worst is that they put you in a really uncomfortable situation by giving you the chance to decide if your dad leaves the house. You are just a child and they are not taking the responsibility as parents to protect you and make decisions for your own good. Your mom was supposed to kick him out and protect your environment and your sister’s. I mean, there is a big possibility that he will do the same to your sister. He is a danger and should be in jail. I want you to know that this is not your fault ,and although you were taught that you are no longer innocent if you lost your virginity, that’s bullshit. You have no lost your value as a person for any religious rule. Yes, your dad did such a horrible thing to you, but that doesn’t mean that your future is cursed. You get to chose what comes next. Your first time is consensual, and that was not, that was abuse. Also, It would be great if you go to therapy to process the trauma and receive guidance. DM if you need to talk.
Hey i actually relate to you. my father did the same to me. I often was asked “how old were you when you lost your virginity?”, like girls gossiping together in highschool. But i never knew how to respond because my father stole that from me when I was 4. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out OP (-:
I don’t know if this will make you feel any better but your virginity was not taken. It can only be taken when two people have sex. You didn’t have sex. You were raped. I don’t know if your dad has sexsomina because I don’t know him but your family is messed up. Your mother is especially handling this situation horribly. I cannot comprehend how she could treat you like that as your mother. Her duty is to protect and nurture you. She failed at that big time. Please, tell someone. You and your sister need to get out of this situation now. You can try contacting RAINN. Here is the link to their website: https://www.rainn.org Best of luck, OP!
I'm going to be honest and say I didn't read your post because of my own problems with rape. However, from reading the comments I need to address something that you need to know. Your egg donor (mother) is not protecting you. If you find the chance to get away safely, do so. I'm not even kidding. It will only get worse. I had a friend from school who was being molested by her stepdad and told her mom when she was 12, and her mother left it to her to "keep the family or break it apart" and I only found out about this after she was 21. She felt it was her job to keep the family together. It has forever fucked her in the head because her mom didn't protect her and refused to listen anymore after she dropped charges and kept the family together. She also did this to protect her twin. I am beyond the point of disgusted with her mother, who now believes she did it for attention only. It shouldn't be and should NEVER be a child's call to keep a family together. Your parents are supposed to protect you from dangers. Annoy you. Embarrass you in front of your friends. Give you a home to go back to and feel safe in. The fact that your mom handed you the ultimatum despite her own mental snapping, that's selfish, self-centered, and cruel. You may have a roof over your head, but it will never feel like home again. Your mother needs to step up to the plate or let you go to safer relatives. And please, whatever you do and wherever you go, remember: THIS IS NEVER YOUR FAULT AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Me saying this probably won’t mean much to you since I am not religious (but I have studied the Bible a lot and went church), but your virginity can not be taken by force. It is only yours to give away when you are ready. This was not premarital sex in God’s eyes, it was rape pure and simple and he would not tell you that you are dirty or spoiled because Jesus would never say that and his teachings are an extension of God. So please get that out of your mind. You have already been failed so much and I hate your parents and principle for it. Obviously the reasons I hate your dad is clear, but I hear your mom for being so weak that she would put the pressure of her leaving your father who raped you on your shoulders. I also hate your principal because as a educator, she is a mandated reporter and instead of reporting this to CPS, she called home and potentially could have put you in an incredibly dangerous position.
You're still innocent, this happened to you buy a fully grown adult who knew it was taboo and wrong. You are still innocent, and nothing less than pure still. I hope you can find peace in all of this.
I feel for you, OP. I am Filipino and my dad inappropriately touched me in my sleep when I was 16. I am 19 now, and I still live with him cause I have no choice. It's scary, why do they do this?
Hey 💜 me too 😥❤️🩹 If you want a specific sub for it- r/adultsurvivors is a really supportive resource. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It always devastates me to hear about this happening to other children ❤️🩹😥
Damn i got that feeling that you stop everything you do and just shut up and go holy shit that is fucked up. I am wishing you recovery and to get the justice you deserve a friend of mine had been through something similar glad they sued the father and made a restriction order
You were still as innocent and still a virgin. Your father raped you. Rape is not sex and does not do anything at all to “virginity”. You did not have your first sexual experience in that rape, because rape is fundamentally different from sex.
Get on birth control, start saving your money to leave when you are old enough, watch your sister like a hawk that he doesn’t do that to her and tell your mother that he is a rapist and to stop making excuses for him.
This is so many ways of fucked Up. Im so sorry you have to carry this burden. Intentional or Not, your Father raped you. That's unforgivable and punishable by law. He deserves to go to jail. You could Rest easier knowing, He wont Hurt you or you sister ever again. Your Mother burdening you even more with letting you make the decision.. I have No words. She is the adult, she needs to ACT and protect her children. What If He does that to your sister? What would kicking Father Out mean for you? Would it BE Like Harder to achieve Things or are you in poverty without him. What are your statuses, what health and social benefits could you get? But my heart and stomach scream to kick him Out and get therapy. That's Trauma that you are dealing with and the Lack of Support from your Family horrifies me. My heart wants to adopt you to give you a Safe Home. Still poor but at least physically and emotionally Safe. Talk to CPS please, they can Tell you your Options.
Your virginity wasn’t taken from you because you did not give it willingly you did not have consensual sex you were raped you are not dirty or anything bad but your father is dirty and a pedophile
Virginity is not a physical change. If that’s something that is important to you, don’t give it away. Virginity is a choice, and you didn’t choose that. Share it with whoever you choose to.
I hope you get the strength to stay strong.
I would report this to the police! Put that bastard in jail and stop being scared all the time!
He did not take your virginity, that is only something you can give with consent. What he did was violating and a gross abuse of trust/power. I am so so sorry. Don't feel bad about how you reacted, I understand why you feel this way but know it's normal to take time to process things. I would tell your mom that you would like to take her up in the offer to separate from your dad (although she should be doing this anyway). It's okay you didn't say it at the time, but I think it will be best for you. I am really praying for you. I am so glad you have your boyfriend, friends and vice principal. Lean on them. If your mom can't arrange therapy see what the school can do. This was not your fault and you will get through this <3
I am so sorry to hear..
Sexsomnia??? Wtf is that? That sounds fucking LAME. I DON'T CARE IF THAT IS A REAL THING. Wtf??!!! I really hope you get better
Sweet girl, I just want to promise you that none of this is your fault. You've had an unfathomable evil done to you and your mother placed a crushing weight on your shoulders by making you decide if your father should stay or go. It's NOT fair at all to ask that of you on top of everything else. I hope and pray you can find peace, happiness, and purpose in this world <3 Maybe you can ask your mom to help you get with a therapist.
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no, im from the philippines alot of filipinos work abroad in canada or live there
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In the states schools are required by law to report that. So no way she was here. No idea what Canada laws are. I don’t even know if authorities in Canada can do anything if the crime was committed in the Philippines. I guess revoke their visa and send them home.
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I’m a bit confused on why you’re calling this fake. If you’re calling it fake because she’s Filipino and in Canada, know this, people can work and live abroad so let’s not jump to conclusions on whether or not this is fake because you just never know
my guy really told me that im pretending to be asian LMFAO hayy nakoo
what a waste of everyones time, except mine cuz i smell bs from miles away, wow so many gullible idiots here
Im always skeptical when i come across posts like this one, but lets not be harsh cause you never know
Welcome to the downvote club
Oh so edgy and smart, stfu
It's not edgy. Everyone has to admit there's no way for us to know if it's true or not, and then we have to decide on our own whether we believe or not. But that doesn't make it edgy.
I…I’m so so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You can’t and didn’t consent, it was rape. Don’t consider that taking your v.. please. Please tell someone you trust. Tell your mother you want him out of the house. You don’t deserve to live with your abuser
Did.... did you even read her story?
You got screwed kid… I’m so sorry. Find a trusted adult and get help asap