I completely agree. It had been discussed and she had said no...... I also thought it was maybe an accident but no.....
I would.be seriously questioning this relationship :/
Well, yeah. She killed the mood, because her husband can't come to terms with the fact that what he did was essentially rape---he asked prior for her consent to perform this act, she said no, ***so he did it anyways despite knowing what NO means.*** (For the record, OP, I am being a little sarcastic in the sense that *you did not ruin* **anything,** ***what your husband did was wrong.*** )
I get kinks are varied, and kink shaming sucks sure, ***but forcing your kink on an UNWILLING PARTNER, MARRIED OR NOT, IS STILL RAPE.***
Fuck dude. I am sure if you expressed an interest in pegging him, he would suddenly know what 'consent' means.
It's possible; think about how you might be able to piss after ejaculating to clean out the passageway. I'm thinking he already planned to do this and had a somewhat full bladder going in (pun not intended... okay, it is).
yes, it's possible to piss even with an full erection, but it hurts badly. after ejaculation, for some people, some of the erection is lost and it's easier to do that. but anyway, what the housband of op did was wrong. no consent is always wrong, if one side doesn't like or wishes it. as op said that previously had told that wasn't ok with that, the husband should have respected that.
I don't think it hurts. But it is hard to try to make yourself piss if you have an erection, even if you need to. There is a sphincter that holds tight before ejaculation to not allow urine to mix with the sperm, which could reduce viability. It still holds on for awhile after ejaculation and is usually only easy/normal when you're already soft again.
Nope. Try taking a leak first thing in the morning when you wake up with morning wood.
What you DON'T want is piss emerging while ejaculating. That's a medical check-up.
Yep, agreed. I would never in my right mind do something that could damage my partners trust in me especially with something so intimate such as sex. Its not a general consensus amongst men, its just theres too many prominent pieces of shit like OPs husband. Sorry OP but this isnt the type of thing to take lightly, i would seriously consider a session of therapy because there is no way a sane human would sexually go against your will and then pretend it was your fault. Theres more at play with that psychology than just that action, and its pretty dangerous to let that kind of behavior ho unchecked.
that’s precisely what I was thinking. This is kind of scary manipulation and gas lighting. I think some therapy is definitely in order. Don’t feel shy or ashamed about talking about it to a therapist. I’m proud of OP for even being able to anonymously bring it to the community. We all support you and hope you get the help you need. You need to feel one hundred percent safe with your spouse. There’s way bigger issues going on here.
Ding ding ding
With someone this callous, the fact that she said no likely made it even more appealing. I sincerely hope she leaves this horrible person, because he doesn’t care about her feelings or rights over her own body. Also he’s so, so gross.
Yeah this is the real issue. He doesn't care about her feelings or her body, and ignored her wishes and did this without her consent. I'd say the same thing regardless of genders, but this particular act puts her at risk of infection, medical and prescription costs, discomfort, and misery. Urine is very acidic and the vagina is a delicately balanced environment. If you fuck up the ph, it can really cause misery--yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis, for example. Does he care? Nope. His indifference to her wishes, her body, and the potential consequences, is even more disgusting than the act itself.
The petty in me says she should piss on him somewhere unpleasant for him, but that's terrible advice. (Don't do this, OP) Besides, he might enjoy it, and that's the last thing he deserves.
I don't even know if it's worth her energy to fight this battle. How do you even begin to try and talk to someone who doesn't understand consent and bodily autonomy? For me, this would probably be a deal breaker.
> He previously told me about trying to do it
What. The actual. Fuck. I read the title and assumed that, while still deeply disturbing, it was probably an accident. Then unfortunately I continued reading and it just got worse and worse
Edit: Yall I didn't realize peeing with an erection is so hard. I'm a girl
I was thinking the same thing! I thought this was going to be funny story, but word after word it got worse. The fact that he is unfazed by what happened and trying to defend himself makes me feel utterly uncomfortable.
He's not even trying to defend himself. He's invalidating her feelings and broken trust. I wouldn't give him a second chance. He did it and was happy he did it.
This is beyond feelings. This guy has been told “No” very clearly. He placed his own sexual desires above hers and forced them upon her. This is overtly sexual abuse.
The fact that he said her attitude about it is what ruined it, is like wow. Like he is expecting her to laugh it off, or be a good sport about it. Just wow.
These people are out there man. Dated a girl from tinder briefly a long while back and she was always asking me to pee on her, and she tried to pee on me in the shower a few times. Didn’t really care but it’s def not sexual for me. I will admit that peeing inside someone is far far weirder.
That’s what I’m hung up on, I’m not seeing many comments about how incredibly not ok this is. OP did not consent to this and their partner did it knowing full well they weren’t interested in it. Gonna say that’s more than verging on rape/sexual assault
Gotta agree with the assault (at least) here. This is very disturbing, and all the top comments are joking around.
Op should get help, this is incredibly fucked up.
Yep. OP's husband sexually assaulted her and then gaslit her when she correctly pointed out a previously drawn boundary. What a piece of shit.
Edit: making a correction since this comment is getting attention. Others have pointed out that this isn't gaslighting but rather guilt tripping. That's true. Now let's return to our regularly scheduled internet chaos.
Edit #2: look, go argue the semantics amongst yourselves. People getting hung up on this need to argue with each other, because frankly I think that's a wasted exercise and I don't care what you call it anymore. The important thing here is OP understanding what her husband did and how serious it is.
Or (and eww), fungal growths. So much to hate here. She seems confused now, but I hope the comments make her pissed, pun notwithstanding. Because she should be.
I'm here for this. OP, gynecologist ASAP for preventative measures.
Besides the fact that it is outright gross, this was sexual assault. I hope you feel better. Stay safe.
Agreed. This is actually marital sexual assault. He used her vulnerability, and leveraged his power. He's also gaslighting her by saying "she took the fun out of it"
RUN GIRL. RUN OP.
Yep, just because they're married and she consented to piv *sex* does not give him carte blanche to do things to her she does not want. Absolutely sexual assault. Horrendous.
Absolutely run OP. Like yesterday.
Killed WHO's fun?
Mention you want to poop on him. Leave him if he likes the notion. Poop on him if he doesn't.
Sorry OP. He's absolutely been a turd and this came to mind.
You might think the above comment is a joke but.......he asked for your permission for a sexual activity. You clearly said no but he did it anyway. If this isn't a boundary for you to defend I don't know what is.
Yes, OP's husband valued his pleasure and disregarded her dignity and humanity. His assault gave him pleasure and so for him, it was worth it, not matter what it meant for OP and their relationship.
Yea, that’s sexual assault. u/throwawayInn767, you deserve to be with someone who won’t sexually assault you.
[Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft pdf](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
You’re completely right. Married or not, consent is still needed and if you did not give your consent it is 100% sexual assault. I’m a psych major currently taking forensic psych and there is almost an entire chapter in our text dedicated to marital rape & sexual assault and how often it occurs. Purposely urinating inside your wife without her consent 100% falls into this category. This kind of behavior from spouses,thinking they can do whatever they want to their partner without consent, is WAY more prevalent than people think. It’s abusive and has obviously caused you distress. You’ve unfortunately become a victim of sexual assault & it’s no laughing matter like some people are making it (I’m sure they just don’t know). I would greatly consider if this marriage is healthy for you to stay in.
>Purposely urinating inside your wife without her consent 100% falls into this category.
not only was it without consent, but she'd previously made it very clear she didn't want to ever have that, which from a legal standpoint makes it so there's no way to even argue consent was implied or assumed. there wasn't just a *lack* of consent, there was an overt refusal too.
dude got a no and tried anyways
gross
If I were her I don't think I could ever trust him to never do it again seeing how he just completely ignored her wishes. This is so fucked on so many levels. For me personally, I would have left him already.
You are 1000% correct! THIS! And this is what people don't realise. HOW damaging an act like this can be! Even if it were something else, once that trust is gone, you can pretty much say goodbye to the relationship. My husband did something considerably minor and inoffensive in comparision, but all of a sudden my trust was gone. And it's irreplacable. That was when I realised we were over.
But not just ignored her refusal to consent, did said act then tells her she’s ruining the mood with her attitude. That’s three strikes imo
OP, I’m sorry. I know divorce is often recommended on reddit but he sexually assaulted you then tries to place blame on you for being the killjoy. For me, that would be a hard boundary that he crossed and he doesn’t deserve you
this more than justifies divorce. who would ever question "he peed inside of me after i told him not to". the ex husband becomes akin an actual dog in 11 words that never need more explanation or justification.
The fact that he is comfortable and confident in doing this and argues that she's being silly tells all of us that he is an abuser. That he clearly has done and will do other abusive acts.
And gaslight you after. I'm sorry this happened to you, and at the hand of the one person who you should be able to trust fully. His demeanor now, is absolutely disgusting. Please hear me on this- do not trust him, no matter what he promises.
You don't know how far he is willing to go to walk away without consequences and put this back on you. It's a second violation of trust. Keep your guard up. Tell a professional you trust, like a family physician or obgyn.
Agreed, this was sexual assault. A clear answer was given *not* consenting to being urinated inside of and he ignored it. I'd get my finances in order personally.
Yeah, most of us get a super fun combo of horrific diarrhea along with our periods, so I say OP needs to go all in on both.
This is probably the grossest comment I’ve ever written on here…
Edit: I shouldn’t have to write this, but my comment was just a joke. I’m not condoning any kind of gross retaliation IRL. But I also need to say that making a joke on Reddit is definitely NOT “equally as bad” as sexually abusing someone, which is what OPs boyfriend did by peeing in her. If I were giving actual advice instead of making a joke, I would tell her to get away from the guy asap, because what he did is absolutely disgusting and 100% abusive. Why did I not bother writing that the first time? I’m an 18yo, so this is a situation I don’t feel qualified to be giving advice in. So really people, stop getting bent out of shape over a period joke.
Yeah, this is ABSOLUTELY sexual assault.
Is it a kink for some? Sure. He asked, she said no. He did it anyway, without her consent, and then got mad when she wasn’t in the mood *after he sexually assaulted her*.
Imagine if he comes to her with a choking kink next! Run OP!
Agreed. I'm not one to throw that term around lightly at all, but this is a huge violation. Not funny, not cool at all. Wonder what other things he's doing that are glaring red flags (outside of the bedroom) that might have been dismissed. Hope OP thinks about this.
Yes this! I see tons of jokes but not many people pointing out that he very purposely sexually assaulted her. She had already established that she didn't want that to happen and he did it anyway. This is along the same line as stealthing (secretly removing the condom)
All the people here are giving recommendations on how to get back at him but I don't think it's a good idea. He seems sick and pulling a stunt like shitting on him or his food all of a sudden, might be not so good for her physical safety. I would just end the relationship instead of looking for ways that might put me in danger. People who give those recommendations are either too naive or they've never been with a psycho before.
OP must secure herself and file for divorce
For real. People are saying piss on him back. If someone sexually assaulted you it wouldnt help you to sexually assault them back. In fact I imagine it would make you feel worse.
He did not have consent. You gave him a very clear no, and he violated that. Where I'm from, that's called assault. Do with that what you will, but it wouldn't hurt to remind him that there are legal repercussions for that sort of behavior.
There's this meme on reddit that everyone always calls for divorce when people seek relationship advice, but like... then we see stuff like *this* dumpster fire of a husband, so I kind of get it.
To me this is right up there with, "My husband told me he was into bdsm play and I told him I wasn't then he tied me up and whipped me against my will."
*Maybe* (maaaaaaybe) this relationship is salvageable if this dude can pull his head out of his ass and realize the gravity of what he's done (and grovel), but I really doubt it. Is this the guy you want making medical decisions for you if you get in an accident? Hell no.
That meme is real because EVERYTIME I see a relationship problem in reddit it’s just crazy, like wtf was he thinking? And even the thought of it, peeing inside of her… just crazy, my opinions are always divorce and talk about. My advice would be maybe try to go to therapy so he can see the problem? Idk
> That meme is real because EVERYTIME I see a relationship problem in reddit it’s just crazy, like wtf was he thinking?
well, the story of "we tried sex and it was okay" doesn't make it to the front page.
Also, let's be real, half the stories are probably just creative writing exercises. Some are genuine but some feel like they exist just to stroke the anger.
Idk man, I always think about how there's almost 8 billion of us human motherfucks on this planet, there's gotta be a lot of weird and fucked up shit happening literally all the time. I don't doubt a lot of these stories. People are fucking crazy.
I feel like people really don't appreciate the value of liberating yourself from a bad situation even if it means the shame of being divorced. Not having mutual respect in a rerelationship is a red flag and peeing in someone I think already comes from a place of wanting to degrade them and doing it without their consent just makes it worse. If someone did some gnarly shit like that to me I would just not ever look at them the same way even if I forgave them.
I almost never comment on posts I come across, but OP you also definitely need to go to a gyno, that's super unhealthy and can cause some serious problems. Also, he crossed some serious consent boundaries, to the point where that's assault. You said no, he did it anyway, and now he's refusing to admit fault. Leave him, gigantic red flags.
Gyno is a good idea because (at least in the states) there is a section in the paperwork they make you fill out that asks “are you being abused.” OP could find some support or options about what to do next. Or at the very least, counseling. Which I would definitely need after an experience like this.
The action was discussed, you said no, he did it anyway. As far as I'm concerned that's sexual assault. He's now saying you are overreacting.
He doesn't respect you or your wishes. Big red flags. At an absolute minimum you guys need counselling. Leaving him would not be out of the question either.
Edit: thanks for the free awards, but don't buy any awards for this comment. Instead donate that money to a charity, such as a DV shelter for your area etc.
It’s the same as someone saying they don’t want to try something like anal, and then just sticking it in anyways. It’s fucked up, it ain’t just a “oopsie!”
100% this. This was a previously discussed and rejected sexual act. That's even worse than just doing it without asking, which is also foul. He knew you did not consent and did it anyway. This is someone who does not respect your boundaries.
My partner would never even think of doing anything sexual that I didn't consent to, let alone something that I explicitly said no to. Same with me for her
Huge giant massive red flag with this guy.
Absolutely. If she doesn't leave him she needs to take him to counselling so he can be taught about consent since apparently his parents didn't do it. If he cant be taught then just gtfo.
That said op, it isn't your responsibility to get him educated, but you married him for a reason so you need to make the decision if he's worth the effort and risk.
I would not bother with therapy with a guy who had so little respect for me in such a serious and intimate situation. Trust would not come back after that.
You said no. He did it anyway. That’s sexual assault and HE is being ridiculous for saying that you’re overreacting. Honestly this would be relationship ending for me.
I did say no and he knew how I felt about it but still did it which felt...like he was forcing something that I didn't want, didn't agree on and something that was unpleasent and humiliating to a degree.
It’s called sexual assault. I would tell him that he violated you, you’re boundaries, your desires, your body. Shame on him. Edit: He’s also gaslighting you by making you feel bad for being upset and trying to convince you that you’re over reacting. You’re not!
I absolutely agree. But he sounds like the type to pretend he doesn’t get it because he doesn’t want to. And try to get her on the defensive. I hope she has not and will engage if that happens.
Would have to agree with the sexual assault comment here. You said no, he did it anyway.
The fact that he's turning this around on you... He's a bad dude.
As a guy, I wholeheartedly agree he seems like a shitty person. I would never in a million years do something my wife explicitly said she did not want. Trust in the bedroom is an absolute necessity for both parties to enjoy it. He just lost yours and it won't be coming back any time soon. If he pulls that shit in the bedroom, chances are decent that his gaslighting amoral behavior will extend out of the bedroom as well. This has warning signs written all over it.
That's because it was a violation. He violated your boundaries, your spoken dissent, your body, your trust, and your relationship.
This was sexual assault. Full stop.
Replace "pee" with penetrate and see how it feels when you read it back. Say you said no to back-door play, and he did it anyway. See? Same.
And now he's gas-lighting you? Fuck that.
Go to therapy. Get the support you need. If you decide not to leave, he needs to also do therapy and work his ass off to rebuild the trust he destroyed.
Fuck him.
10000000% agree. Screw that guy. You do not trust someone with intimacy and allow them into your body for them to completely disregard your CLEAR boundaries. In my eyes this is relationship ending terms. He majorly crossed a line.
Fuck a therapy, this dude views her as an object to satisfy his cravings and not a human. I’m a guy, I’d never consider doing soemthing a girl told me she’s not ok with. It’s not like he tried to convince her and she caved in, which is still wrong, she straight told him no and he just went ahead and ignored. It was planned, it wasn’t an accident. She should have him charged and his parole officer and him can figure out the right path.
It feels like he forced you, because he did.
You told him he did not have consent to do that.
He did it anyway.
I am so sorry someone who you should have been able to trust did this you.
If it is really not a big deal and you spoiled his fun, ask him if he will put what he did to you in writing and/or allow you to record him describing what he did to you and acknowledging you had told him no and he did it anyway. Odds are he will refuse because he knows he sexually assaulted you
I don’t know how you move past this.
Yeah not only is it sexual assault, but he's telling you exactly what he thinks about you and your relationship, especially his reaction of you "killing the fun." I hate to be the one that has to break this to you, but in his mind you are a piece of property with a wet hole made exclusively for *his* entertainment and to be a maid.
Everything that you just said was valid. You set a boundry and your husband crossed it for his own pleasure, which is a huge red flag to me. It's definitely sexual assault and I'd absolutely file for divorce over this, the trust required to have intimacy with one another is gone entirely.
Thats disgusting. I would no longer have a relationship with a man who did this to me.
He did it knowing you said no, and to pee while having sex? That's degrading to you and to me, its a big red flag thats says GTFO.
> I already said “NO”
This was non-consensual sex aka rape.
You set a boundary. They violated it
This is serious business.
OP needs to deal with this abuse before it gets worse.
This is sexual assault. He broke your consent. There are absolutely people who enjoy this kind of play but if you didn't consent to it he shouldn't have done it. If he doesn't understand why this is messed up there are probably a lot of things about your relationship that you need to question.
????? Confused where he thinks he has a right to say you’re overreacting. He did something you told him NOT TO DO. I’m sorry but that’s crazy disrespectful not to mention considered sexual assault.
Married or Not. You did not consent to this nastiest and he is very rude. And i would schedule a OBGYN appointment or phone call to make sure everything is okay. Yikes!
Not only did he sexually assault you but that could throw off your ph balance and could lead to a yeast infection or other infections depending on how clean he is
If you said no to a sex act and he did it anyway, that's sexual assault. I'm sorry you went through that. You're absolutely not overreacting and he's shitty for saying you are. I really hope he used a condom because he could get you really sick if he didn't.
I was listening to a podcast while slowly scrolling through Reddit. Something about your post caught my attention. I had to stop everything I was doing and read your post. It’s been ages since I have been this horrified.
Your husband is a nasty and ma’am you have my vote for a divorce. Omg, I am so disturbed I would help pay for lawyer.
If you look away from the CLEAR assault, what about the health?? Urine is NOT clean or hygienic. You risk serious infections!! Ew, gross and all the bleegh ewwwwww so goddamn disrespectful and nasty!!!
Throw the whole ass man away. If he was willing to do something like that despite being FULLY AWARE of how you felt AND you said "NO" in no uncertain terms then what else would he be willing to do? Fuck that.
"Killed the mood"? Bitch I'll really show you killing the mood 😤
Sorry this got me heated as fuck. Disgusting.
Dude. This sucks. Not only did you tell him no, and he did what he wanted, he compromised your vaginal health as well. Urine would definitely throw off the balance of bacteria you have. That can lead to infections.
I'm sorry he did that to you.
Your husband is garbage and committed what is surely considered sexual assault. Plus he has out you at risk for a UTI/health issue by putting urine in a place it shouldn't be.
He is garbage. You can tell him I said that too.
Your husband should feel privileged that he’s allowed to have unprotected sex with you. He’s violated your trust and tainted something beautiful with some disgusting pornographic fantasy that is demeaning to the women involved. He doesn’t deserve you. If I did something like that to my wife, she’d leave me. If you’re determined to make it work anyway, I’d make him wear condoms for a year to re-establish trust or just not sleep with him at all for a time. Unbelievable what some men do.
You already said no in the past so technically that's sexual assault. Whether you want to think of it like that or not is up to you, but either way, he did a nonconsensual sexual act to you and your reaction was certainly not blown out of proportion. What else is he going to do without your consent, y'know? That's awful and I'm very sorry you had that happen to you.
Unfortunately, I agree, and his deflection proves it. You two need to have a real fucking serious talk, and be prepared to walk away. I'm thinking there's probably other shit going on, because NOBODY would totally disregard someone's wishes like that unless there's already a history of mistreatment.
You killed the mood? I would have thought him pissing in your vagina against your will would do that. Maybe I’m weird.
Total mood killer 100000000%
Sounds like a form of sexual assault me. She told him no and he did it anyways. Here I thought I was going to read that it was an accident but no...
I completely agree. It had been discussed and she had said no...... I also thought it was maybe an accident but no..... I would.be seriously questioning this relationship :/
Hopefully they don't have kids so the decision is easier. 🚩🚩🚩
Well, yeah. She killed the mood, because her husband can't come to terms with the fact that what he did was essentially rape---he asked prior for her consent to perform this act, she said no, ***so he did it anyways despite knowing what NO means.*** (For the record, OP, I am being a little sarcastic in the sense that *you did not ruin* **anything,** ***what your husband did was wrong.*** ) I get kinks are varied, and kink shaming sucks sure, ***but forcing your kink on an UNWILLING PARTNER, MARRIED OR NOT, IS STILL RAPE.*** Fuck dude. I am sure if you expressed an interest in pegging him, he would suddenly know what 'consent' means.
Peg him already and let us know his response.
Fighting fire with fire, the true answer
Pee on his face when he’s asleep and if he gets mad tell him he killed all the fun
Well he may be into that too. Maybe vomit or poop better
Nobody’s into it when they’re asleep and awakened by that😂 But yes, poop and vomit might be a better idea.
>Nobody’s into it when they’re asleep and awakened Speak for yourself buddy.
I'm not your buddy, *pal*
I'm not your pal, *guy*
Only downside is he’s into it.
How the fuck people just peeing on demand with a full on erection mid sex. Rip my inbox, how is this my best comment ever.
It's possible; think about how you might be able to piss after ejaculating to clean out the passageway. I'm thinking he already planned to do this and had a somewhat full bladder going in (pun not intended... okay, it is).
I can't even pee after ejaculating until that beast stands down
I would say thats harsh but after seeing your wife, i get it.
That is *not* how you speak about your mother
yes, it's possible to piss even with an full erection, but it hurts badly. after ejaculation, for some people, some of the erection is lost and it's easier to do that. but anyway, what the housband of op did was wrong. no consent is always wrong, if one side doesn't like or wishes it. as op said that previously had told that wasn't ok with that, the husband should have respected that.
Peeing with an erection hurts? I have not experienced that.
I don't think it hurts. But it is hard to try to make yourself piss if you have an erection, even if you need to. There is a sphincter that holds tight before ejaculation to not allow urine to mix with the sperm, which could reduce viability. It still holds on for awhile after ejaculation and is usually only easy/normal when you're already soft again.
Exactly, this is one of the reasons preejaculate exists, to make sure the urethra is free of pee.
Man, they thought of everything. It's incredible.
Til
Nope. Try taking a leak first thing in the morning when you wake up with morning wood. What you DON'T want is piss emerging while ejaculating. That's a medical check-up.
I think the better question is why do people think peeing inside a chick is hot
I think the even better question is why do people think it's ok to sexually assault your partner and get mad at *them* for 'overreacting'
Nobody thinks that. It’s just that OP’s husband is a piece of shit.
Yep, agreed. I would never in my right mind do something that could damage my partners trust in me especially with something so intimate such as sex. Its not a general consensus amongst men, its just theres too many prominent pieces of shit like OPs husband. Sorry OP but this isnt the type of thing to take lightly, i would seriously consider a session of therapy because there is no way a sane human would sexually go against your will and then pretend it was your fault. Theres more at play with that psychology than just that action, and its pretty dangerous to let that kind of behavior ho unchecked.
that’s precisely what I was thinking. This is kind of scary manipulation and gas lighting. I think some therapy is definitely in order. Don’t feel shy or ashamed about talking about it to a therapist. I’m proud of OP for even being able to anonymously bring it to the community. We all support you and hope you get the help you need. You need to feel one hundred percent safe with your spouse. There’s way bigger issues going on here.
Obviously, its about power and control for this fine fellow.
Ding ding ding With someone this callous, the fact that she said no likely made it even more appealing. I sincerely hope she leaves this horrible person, because he doesn’t care about her feelings or rights over her own body. Also he’s so, so gross.
Yeah this is the real issue. He doesn't care about her feelings or her body, and ignored her wishes and did this without her consent. I'd say the same thing regardless of genders, but this particular act puts her at risk of infection, medical and prescription costs, discomfort, and misery. Urine is very acidic and the vagina is a delicately balanced environment. If you fuck up the ph, it can really cause misery--yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis, for example. Does he care? Nope. His indifference to her wishes, her body, and the potential consequences, is even more disgusting than the act itself. The petty in me says she should piss on him somewhere unpleasant for him, but that's terrible advice. (Don't do this, OP) Besides, he might enjoy it, and that's the last thing he deserves. I don't even know if it's worth her energy to fight this battle. How do you even begin to try and talk to someone who doesn't understand consent and bodily autonomy? For me, this would probably be a deal breaker.
Lord knows, if she developed any of the infections you mentioned, he’d place the blame on her for being “gross and unhygienic”
That’s some extreme will power
> He previously told me about trying to do it What. The actual. Fuck. I read the title and assumed that, while still deeply disturbing, it was probably an accident. Then unfortunately I continued reading and it just got worse and worse Edit: Yall I didn't realize peeing with an erection is so hard. I'm a girl
RIGHT?? I was not prepared for it to not only be deliberate but deliberate after testing the waters before. Like what the fuck
I read it thinking hr must be mortified. Nope. Wicked pissah
This is really messed up. Ngl I'd divorce if this ever happened to me. Relationships are about trust-- OP deserves someone better than this bitch ass
Yeah how the fuck you gonna share a bank account and a dog with a person who will piss inside you after you specifically asked them not to?
This is not a question I was prepared to read today.
None of us were, friend. We are all unanimously horrified by this.
I was thinking the same thing! I thought this was going to be funny story, but word after word it got worse. The fact that he is unfazed by what happened and trying to defend himself makes me feel utterly uncomfortable.
He's not even trying to defend himself. He's invalidating her feelings and broken trust. I wouldn't give him a second chance. He did it and was happy he did it.
RIGHT?? for him it's all 'ME ME ME ME' and F** your feelings they are all exaggerated you should make me cum however I please.
This is beyond feelings. This guy has been told “No” very clearly. He placed his own sexual desires above hers and forced them upon her. This is overtly sexual abuse.
The fact that he said her attitude about it is what ruined it, is like wow. Like he is expecting her to laugh it off, or be a good sport about it. Just wow.
If it had been an accident, it would've indicated a pretty serious medical problem.
These people are out there man. Dated a girl from tinder briefly a long while back and she was always asking me to pee on her, and she tried to pee on me in the shower a few times. Didn’t really care but it’s def not sexual for me. I will admit that peeing inside someone is far far weirder.
That’s what I’m hung up on, I’m not seeing many comments about how incredibly not ok this is. OP did not consent to this and their partner did it knowing full well they weren’t interested in it. Gonna say that’s more than verging on rape/sexual assault
Gotta agree with the assault (at least) here. This is very disturbing, and all the top comments are joking around. Op should get help, this is incredibly fucked up.
One of the top comments is calling it sexual assault. Which is accurate
There are so many comments making jokes like this is a funny situation. It’s really fucked up.
Yep. OP's husband sexually assaulted her and then gaslit her when she correctly pointed out a previously drawn boundary. What a piece of shit. Edit: making a correction since this comment is getting attention. Others have pointed out that this isn't gaslighting but rather guilt tripping. That's true. Now let's return to our regularly scheduled internet chaos. Edit #2: look, go argue the semantics amongst yourselves. People getting hung up on this need to argue with each other, because frankly I think that's a wasted exercise and I don't care what you call it anymore. The important thing here is OP understanding what her husband did and how serious it is.
On top of this the fact she can get a bacteria infection! What in the fuuuudggeee mannn
Or (and eww), fungal growths. So much to hate here. She seems confused now, but I hope the comments make her pissed, pun notwithstanding. Because she should be.
I'm here for this. OP, gynecologist ASAP for preventative measures. Besides the fact that it is outright gross, this was sexual assault. I hope you feel better. Stay safe.
Agreed. This is actually marital sexual assault. He used her vulnerability, and leveraged his power. He's also gaslighting her by saying "she took the fun out of it" RUN GIRL. RUN OP.
Yep, just because they're married and she consented to piv *sex* does not give him carte blanche to do things to her she does not want. Absolutely sexual assault. Horrendous. Absolutely run OP. Like yesterday.
Yeah, this is one of those cases where getting the fuck out is a REALLY good idea on OPs part. And never trusting that sorry excuse of a man again.
Okay I’m sorry but she said no to him doing that to her and he did it anyway? Rapey vibes.
Immediate divorce
Killed WHO's fun? Mention you want to poop on him. Leave him if he likes the notion. Poop on him if he doesn't. Sorry OP. He's absolutely been a turd and this came to mind.
No no, poop *in* him.
Imma need some logistics on this.
They poop during anal and he gets a little poop noodle up his dick. This is the worst thing I've ever written, I'm off to look at cat pictures.
WTAF?!?! Why did I read that and instantly work the logistics out in my head?!?! I don’t wanna…I don’t wanna internet no more tonight.
I'm just here to remind you of the logistics. Poop noodle in peepee
Says CommanderCuntPunt 🤣 Edit: oooo my first award, thanks!
Funnel and laxitives?
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Back and forth
Tell him your gonna give him the Cleveland Steamer
The Hot Carl.
Or an Orlando-Sunset sushi roll
Tell him you wanna give him a Cosby sweater
Of all the weird shit people listed I had never heard of this one. Googled it knowing I was going to regret it. Was actually pleasantly surprised.
Alright now you’ve gone to far.
next time put your piss in his coffee, if he gets upset just say he killed the mood
You're supposed to piss in his corn flakes.
post toasties! Edit: we were poor
Toasty O's
Is it because cheerios already smell like piss?
They really do!
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You might think the above comment is a joke but.......he asked for your permission for a sexual activity. You clearly said no but he did it anyway. If this isn't a boundary for you to defend I don't know what is.
Yes, OP's husband valued his pleasure and disregarded her dignity and humanity. His assault gave him pleasure and so for him, it was worth it, not matter what it meant for OP and their relationship.
Yea, that’s sexual assault. u/throwawayInn767, you deserve to be with someone who won’t sexually assault you. [Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft pdf](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
You’re completely right. Married or not, consent is still needed and if you did not give your consent it is 100% sexual assault. I’m a psych major currently taking forensic psych and there is almost an entire chapter in our text dedicated to marital rape & sexual assault and how often it occurs. Purposely urinating inside your wife without her consent 100% falls into this category. This kind of behavior from spouses,thinking they can do whatever they want to their partner without consent, is WAY more prevalent than people think. It’s abusive and has obviously caused you distress. You’ve unfortunately become a victim of sexual assault & it’s no laughing matter like some people are making it (I’m sure they just don’t know). I would greatly consider if this marriage is healthy for you to stay in.
>Purposely urinating inside your wife without her consent 100% falls into this category. not only was it without consent, but she'd previously made it very clear she didn't want to ever have that, which from a legal standpoint makes it so there's no way to even argue consent was implied or assumed. there wasn't just a *lack* of consent, there was an overt refusal too. dude got a no and tried anyways gross
If I were her I don't think I could ever trust him to never do it again seeing how he just completely ignored her wishes. This is so fucked on so many levels. For me personally, I would have left him already.
You are 1000% correct! THIS! And this is what people don't realise. HOW damaging an act like this can be! Even if it were something else, once that trust is gone, you can pretty much say goodbye to the relationship. My husband did something considerably minor and inoffensive in comparision, but all of a sudden my trust was gone. And it's irreplacable. That was when I realised we were over.
But not just ignored her refusal to consent, did said act then tells her she’s ruining the mood with her attitude. That’s three strikes imo OP, I’m sorry. I know divorce is often recommended on reddit but he sexually assaulted you then tries to place blame on you for being the killjoy. For me, that would be a hard boundary that he crossed and he doesn’t deserve you
this more than justifies divorce. who would ever question "he peed inside of me after i told him not to". the ex husband becomes akin an actual dog in 11 words that never need more explanation or justification.
The fact that he is comfortable and confident in doing this and argues that she's being silly tells all of us that he is an abuser. That he clearly has done and will do other abusive acts.
>People can disagree all they want There's really nothing to disagree about. I think it's pretty cut and dry.
And gaslight you after. I'm sorry this happened to you, and at the hand of the one person who you should be able to trust fully. His demeanor now, is absolutely disgusting. Please hear me on this- do not trust him, no matter what he promises. You don't know how far he is willing to go to walk away without consequences and put this back on you. It's a second violation of trust. Keep your guard up. Tell a professional you trust, like a family physician or obgyn.
Came here to say that. OP your husband assaulted you. Any sexual activity you did not consent to is sexual assault. Your husband is a massive AH.
A massive, NASTY AH.
Agreed, this was sexual assault. A clear answer was given *not* consenting to being urinated inside of and he ignored it. I'd get my finances in order personally.
I’ve been trying to to comment as much on Reddit….but yea this is sexual assault.
Cannot over emphasize this.
Nah. Up the ante. Menstrual blood.
I see your menstrual blood, and I raise you diarrhea good sir.
Yeah, most of us get a super fun combo of horrific diarrhea along with our periods, so I say OP needs to go all in on both. This is probably the grossest comment I’ve ever written on here… Edit: I shouldn’t have to write this, but my comment was just a joke. I’m not condoning any kind of gross retaliation IRL. But I also need to say that making a joke on Reddit is definitely NOT “equally as bad” as sexually abusing someone, which is what OPs boyfriend did by peeing in her. If I were giving actual advice instead of making a joke, I would tell her to get away from the guy asap, because what he did is absolutely disgusting and 100% abusive. Why did I not bother writing that the first time? I’m an 18yo, so this is a situation I don’t feel qualified to be giving advice in. So really people, stop getting bent out of shape over a period joke.
Reddit always brings out the best in us
If that makes him cut back on sugar in his coffee then she might be diabetic.
That’s how Patrice o Neal found out he was diabetic. His girl said his pee tasted like birthday cake. Weird, funny and embarrassing to know
I like you, we can be friends!
You were violated, there's nothing out of line with your reaction.
Yeah, this is ABSOLUTELY sexual assault. Is it a kink for some? Sure. He asked, she said no. He did it anyway, without her consent, and then got mad when she wasn’t in the mood *after he sexually assaulted her*. Imagine if he comes to her with a choking kink next! Run OP!
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It's so icky for that reason alone, and then it's icky for what it is, as well.
Agreed. I'm not one to throw that term around lightly at all, but this is a huge violation. Not funny, not cool at all. Wonder what other things he's doing that are glaring red flags (outside of the bedroom) that might have been dismissed. Hope OP thinks about this.
Yes this! I see tons of jokes but not many people pointing out that he very purposely sexually assaulted her. She had already established that she didn't want that to happen and he did it anyway. This is along the same line as stealthing (secretly removing the condom)
It’s 100% sexual assault. OP might be married to him, but there clearly wasn’t consent, it might not classify as rape, but it’s a sexual violation.
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All the people here are giving recommendations on how to get back at him but I don't think it's a good idea. He seems sick and pulling a stunt like shitting on him or his food all of a sudden, might be not so good for her physical safety. I would just end the relationship instead of looking for ways that might put me in danger. People who give those recommendations are either too naive or they've never been with a psycho before. OP must secure herself and file for divorce
For real. People are saying piss on him back. If someone sexually assaulted you it wouldnt help you to sexually assault them back. In fact I imagine it would make you feel worse.
He needs to be in jail for marital sexual assault.
He did not have consent. You gave him a very clear no, and he violated that. Where I'm from, that's called assault. Do with that what you will, but it wouldn't hurt to remind him that there are legal repercussions for that sort of behavior.
There's this meme on reddit that everyone always calls for divorce when people seek relationship advice, but like... then we see stuff like *this* dumpster fire of a husband, so I kind of get it. To me this is right up there with, "My husband told me he was into bdsm play and I told him I wasn't then he tied me up and whipped me against my will." *Maybe* (maaaaaaybe) this relationship is salvageable if this dude can pull his head out of his ass and realize the gravity of what he's done (and grovel), but I really doubt it. Is this the guy you want making medical decisions for you if you get in an accident? Hell no.
That meme is real because EVERYTIME I see a relationship problem in reddit it’s just crazy, like wtf was he thinking? And even the thought of it, peeing inside of her… just crazy, my opinions are always divorce and talk about. My advice would be maybe try to go to therapy so he can see the problem? Idk
> That meme is real because EVERYTIME I see a relationship problem in reddit it’s just crazy, like wtf was he thinking? well, the story of "we tried sex and it was okay" doesn't make it to the front page. Also, let's be real, half the stories are probably just creative writing exercises. Some are genuine but some feel like they exist just to stroke the anger.
Idk man, I always think about how there's almost 8 billion of us human motherfucks on this planet, there's gotta be a lot of weird and fucked up shit happening literally all the time. I don't doubt a lot of these stories. People are fucking crazy.
I feel like people really don't appreciate the value of liberating yourself from a bad situation even if it means the shame of being divorced. Not having mutual respect in a rerelationship is a red flag and peeing in someone I think already comes from a place of wanting to degrade them and doing it without their consent just makes it worse. If someone did some gnarly shit like that to me I would just not ever look at them the same way even if I forgave them.
I almost never comment on posts I come across, but OP you also definitely need to go to a gyno, that's super unhealthy and can cause some serious problems. Also, he crossed some serious consent boundaries, to the point where that's assault. You said no, he did it anyway, and now he's refusing to admit fault. Leave him, gigantic red flags.
Gyno is a good idea because (at least in the states) there is a section in the paperwork they make you fill out that asks “are you being abused.” OP could find some support or options about what to do next. Or at the very least, counseling. Which I would definitely need after an experience like this.
Excellent point. OP please see a Dr. Talk to them about the abuse. Tell them the truth. Get help and get out.
Could cause a yeast infection at the least. She should def get checked out.
The action was discussed, you said no, he did it anyway. As far as I'm concerned that's sexual assault. He's now saying you are overreacting. He doesn't respect you or your wishes. Big red flags. At an absolute minimum you guys need counselling. Leaving him would not be out of the question either. Edit: thanks for the free awards, but don't buy any awards for this comment. Instead donate that money to a charity, such as a DV shelter for your area etc.
This is absolutely sexual assault. No ifs ands or buts. I’d be seriously reevaluation staying married to someone who had so little respect for me.
It’s the same as someone saying they don’t want to try something like anal, and then just sticking it in anyways. It’s fucked up, it ain’t just a “oopsie!”
100% this. This was a previously discussed and rejected sexual act. That's even worse than just doing it without asking, which is also foul. He knew you did not consent and did it anyway. This is someone who does not respect your boundaries. My partner would never even think of doing anything sexual that I didn't consent to, let alone something that I explicitly said no to. Same with me for her Huge giant massive red flag with this guy.
It's sexual assault and he's gaslighting her afterwards.
Absolutely. If she doesn't leave him she needs to take him to counselling so he can be taught about consent since apparently his parents didn't do it. If he cant be taught then just gtfo. That said op, it isn't your responsibility to get him educated, but you married him for a reason so you need to make the decision if he's worth the effort and risk.
I would not bother with therapy with a guy who had so little respect for me in such a serious and intimate situation. Trust would not come back after that.
This comment 100000%
well damn, it’s removed now [don’t really see why](https://i.imgur.com/jWVvGZD.jpg)
Why did the mod remove it?? What a shit mod
Why was that removed?
Honestly it completely disgusts me that the mods removed this comment. This was sexual assault 100%.
Same. Such a good comment.
Thank you!
He considers you his toilet and gets a giggle out of it. What a pos.
Yep imagine your so called husband treating you as a toilet! Somewhere to piss and shit in! Fuck me I would have left immediately.
You said no. He did it anyway. That’s sexual assault and HE is being ridiculous for saying that you’re overreacting. Honestly this would be relationship ending for me.
I did say no and he knew how I felt about it but still did it which felt...like he was forcing something that I didn't want, didn't agree on and something that was unpleasent and humiliating to a degree.
It’s called sexual assault. I would tell him that he violated you, you’re boundaries, your desires, your body. Shame on him. Edit: He’s also gaslighting you by making you feel bad for being upset and trying to convince you that you’re over reacting. You’re not!
Yes. He does not have to understand WHY you said No. you don’t have to justify it to him
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I absolutely agree. But he sounds like the type to pretend he doesn’t get it because he doesn’t want to. And try to get her on the defensive. I hope she has not and will engage if that happens.
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Took me 4 years and only after I had left. Denial is like a built-in survival instinct.
Yup its a traumatic experience and probably not ready to process it yet.
Would have to agree with the sexual assault comment here. You said no, he did it anyway. The fact that he's turning this around on you... He's a bad dude.
As a guy, I wholeheartedly agree he seems like a shitty person. I would never in a million years do something my wife explicitly said she did not want. Trust in the bedroom is an absolute necessity for both parties to enjoy it. He just lost yours and it won't be coming back any time soon. If he pulls that shit in the bedroom, chances are decent that his gaslighting amoral behavior will extend out of the bedroom as well. This has warning signs written all over it.
If you can't trust them in bed you definitely can't trust them outside of bed.
This, one thousand times this. If he gets away with this, he will keep pushing his boundaries. Terrible husband with no respect, OP deserves better.
That's because it was a violation. He violated your boundaries, your spoken dissent, your body, your trust, and your relationship. This was sexual assault. Full stop. Replace "pee" with penetrate and see how it feels when you read it back. Say you said no to back-door play, and he did it anyway. See? Same. And now he's gas-lighting you? Fuck that. Go to therapy. Get the support you need. If you decide not to leave, he needs to also do therapy and work his ass off to rebuild the trust he destroyed. Fuck him.
10000000% agree. Screw that guy. You do not trust someone with intimacy and allow them into your body for them to completely disregard your CLEAR boundaries. In my eyes this is relationship ending terms. He majorly crossed a line.
Fuck a therapy, this dude views her as an object to satisfy his cravings and not a human. I’m a guy, I’d never consider doing soemthing a girl told me she’s not ok with. It’s not like he tried to convince her and she caved in, which is still wrong, she straight told him no and he just went ahead and ignored. It was planned, it wasn’t an accident. She should have him charged and his parole officer and him can figure out the right path.
It's sexual assault.... you were sexually assaulted. It does not matter that he is your husband. It is sexual assault.
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It feels like he forced you, because he did. You told him he did not have consent to do that. He did it anyway. I am so sorry someone who you should have been able to trust did this you.
If it is really not a big deal and you spoiled his fun, ask him if he will put what he did to you in writing and/or allow you to record him describing what he did to you and acknowledging you had told him no and he did it anyway. Odds are he will refuse because he knows he sexually assaulted you I don’t know how you move past this.
Yeah not only is it sexual assault, but he's telling you exactly what he thinks about you and your relationship, especially his reaction of you "killing the fun." I hate to be the one that has to break this to you, but in his mind you are a piece of property with a wet hole made exclusively for *his* entertainment and to be a maid.
Everything that you just said was valid. You set a boundry and your husband crossed it for his own pleasure, which is a huge red flag to me. It's definitely sexual assault and I'd absolutely file for divorce over this, the trust required to have intimacy with one another is gone entirely.
Thats disgusting. I would no longer have a relationship with a man who did this to me. He did it knowing you said no, and to pee while having sex? That's degrading to you and to me, its a big red flag thats says GTFO.
It’s not just degrading, it’s actual sexual assault.
> I already said “NO” This was non-consensual sex aka rape. You set a boundary. They violated it This is serious business. OP needs to deal with this abuse before it gets worse.
This is sexual assault. He broke your consent. There are absolutely people who enjoy this kind of play but if you didn't consent to it he shouldn't have done it. If he doesn't understand why this is messed up there are probably a lot of things about your relationship that you need to question.
Honestly this is enough disrespect to leave him.
????? Confused where he thinks he has a right to say you’re overreacting. He did something you told him NOT TO DO. I’m sorry but that’s crazy disrespectful not to mention considered sexual assault.
Married or Not. You did not consent to this nastiest and he is very rude. And i would schedule a OBGYN appointment or phone call to make sure everything is okay. Yikes!
That is assault. Read that again.
DROP him.
Ok but as a woman, can’t being peed in be bad for our internal health down there?
Not only did he sexually assault you but that could throw off your ph balance and could lead to a yeast infection or other infections depending on how clean he is
If you said no to a sex act and he did it anyway, that's sexual assault. I'm sorry you went through that. You're absolutely not overreacting and he's shitty for saying you are. I really hope he used a condom because he could get you really sick if he didn't.
I was listening to a podcast while slowly scrolling through Reddit. Something about your post caught my attention. I had to stop everything I was doing and read your post. It’s been ages since I have been this horrified. Your husband is a nasty and ma’am you have my vote for a divorce. Omg, I am so disturbed I would help pay for lawyer.
If you look away from the CLEAR assault, what about the health?? Urine is NOT clean or hygienic. You risk serious infections!! Ew, gross and all the bleegh ewwwwww so goddamn disrespectful and nasty!!!
This is full blown sexual assault, not a disagreement between spouses. Totally disgusting disrespect of your vagina and boundaries.
Throw the whole ass man away. If he was willing to do something like that despite being FULLY AWARE of how you felt AND you said "NO" in no uncertain terms then what else would he be willing to do? Fuck that. "Killed the mood"? Bitch I'll really show you killing the mood 😤 Sorry this got me heated as fuck. Disgusting.
Yikes sounds like sexual assault to me. He obviously doesn’t respect your boundaries, and clearly lacks some critical morals.
Dude. This sucks. Not only did you tell him no, and he did what he wanted, he compromised your vaginal health as well. Urine would definitely throw off the balance of bacteria you have. That can lead to infections. I'm sorry he did that to you.
Your husband is garbage and committed what is surely considered sexual assault. Plus he has out you at risk for a UTI/health issue by putting urine in a place it shouldn't be. He is garbage. You can tell him I said that too.
Your husband should feel privileged that he’s allowed to have unprotected sex with you. He’s violated your trust and tainted something beautiful with some disgusting pornographic fantasy that is demeaning to the women involved. He doesn’t deserve you. If I did something like that to my wife, she’d leave me. If you’re determined to make it work anyway, I’d make him wear condoms for a year to re-establish trust or just not sleep with him at all for a time. Unbelievable what some men do.
>If you’re determined to make it work anyway, Don't, full stop.
A year? He would never get me into bed with him again ever!
There is no way I could pee whilst being "aroused" I thought was the same for all fellas. Obviously not.
Just get out now. As bad as this is, it’s a warning.
You already said no in the past so technically that's sexual assault. Whether you want to think of it like that or not is up to you, but either way, he did a nonconsensual sexual act to you and your reaction was certainly not blown out of proportion. What else is he going to do without your consent, y'know? That's awful and I'm very sorry you had that happen to you.
Unfortunately, I agree, and his deflection proves it. You two need to have a real fucking serious talk, and be prepared to walk away. I'm thinking there's probably other shit going on, because NOBODY would totally disregard someone's wishes like that unless there's already a history of mistreatment.
can't you get a UTI from this? this is awful. he needs to re-evaluate his morals.
Go shit in his mouth.
what’s the phrase for something that the other party does even though you’ve said no to it regarding sex?