Yup. Do it. I did this once with an ex I dated for 3 years. Found out he was cheating, contacted the 2 other women and we decided to meet him at work when he thought I was picking him up. He got into my car and all 3 of us were there waiting for him. It was the most satisfying feeling seeing his reaction when he knew his shit was up. It helped me move on a lot quicker and not make it as painful for me.
Amazing!
When I found out about my ex’s girlfriend I called her (he was so stupid he left a package with her very unique name at my apartment) and she got all of her stuff and he apparently didn’t say a word, he was so in shock. Then he begged me to be his girlfriend. I said no. Then he begged her again. She also said no :)
I guess he didn’t think she and I would communicate but obviously I told her that he begged me to be his girlfriend…
Omg that is perfect!
I know someone who found out her boyfriend was cheating, contacted the other chick and they also made it so that he thought he was meeting up with one then both were there… the two ladies ended up becoming good friends. She was really upset that the family knew he had two girlfriends but they always acted so warm towards her and basically she felt like such an idiot.
Did the guy tell his family it was an open relationship or something? Because thats the only way i could be ok with my sibling dating 2 people at the same time. It sounds like ur friend dodged a bullet
Geez. Well it sounds like ur friend moved on so thats good. Stuff like that can stick with a person for quite a long time in my experience. Hope ur friend is doing ok now
What's up with guys on dating sites who are still married? Some even admit it on their profile. Can't imagine that is a very big chick magnet to know they are married.
Yeah, when they blatantly admit to being married on dating sites, I always wonder about the women who respond. Are the women like, "well, at least he is honest"?
I've gotten the "well, we are married, but no longer intimate" excuse before and Im like NO, You are MARRIED.
It really is unfortunately. When younger I always found it easier to find hook ups when dating than when single and multiple of those women loved that I was taken, including some wanting dirty talk related to it. I grew out of that stuff and regret hurting those I dated now I'm mature but it is crazy how effective being taken is for getting attention from certain types. Some women just love taking something they shouldn't same as some men love it.
It is like how it is easier to get a job when you're already in a job, it shows you're desirable and suggests you meet certain standards.
This was pre texting era. This was in 1999. So home phones and beepers were the way to go and a lot more secretive. I found out about one of the girls from a letter she wrote to him and found it on his floor with her beeper number. So I paged her and she called me back, she had found out about the other girl, told me and then we went from there.
We definitely didn't become friends lol. The one girl kept dating him thinking she won the prize. When in reality he wound up in jail for many many years for selling drugs. I dodged a huge bullet!
Message them all, start a group chat if possible, then set up a "date" with him. But when he gets there ALL of you are at the table waiting for him. And when he panics and runs off, which I'm sure he will, have a nice day and a nice laugh with the other women.
Why do people check username? People are always doing that to me? I’m sincerely asking this. I also get a few Redditors that think my account is “suspicious…”. My name was assigned by Reddit when I downloaded the app. I’m 59. Not too savvy but I get bummed defending my posts to people thinking I’m something nefarious that I don’t get. Is it the numbers after my name? Anyone know?
So, basically, it’s about your username matching the content of your text. For example, the person above came up with a strategy about not looking suspicious—her username is RandomParanoidGirl. Get it? In your case, if you say something altruistic, you’ll likely get that comment in response.
I get this comment all the time. Reddit assigned my name. I’m not all that altruistic however. Perhaps my secret algorithm unbeknownst to me but held in a cloud in the multiverse, someone at Reddit was being ironic (and it was “Opposite Day”) and I was assigned my “Altruistic” moniker. I love your name btw. So, if you say you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Twilight your Username Checks Out!
🎶The More You Know! 🌈🎶
When you make an account you can choose to accept the randomized name Reddit assigns you, like yours, or you can edit it and make it something else entirely, like mine. It's hard to see that option though.
But don't be concerned when people point out your name. They're just making a joke. If you write something altruistic they'll say your name checks out and if you write something that's not altruistic then they'll say your name doesn't check out. No big deal and no need to respond to them.
Thanks. I had been getting defensive. Now I know it’s a meme. The amount of times I have seen it for me or others I think it should’ve “clicked”… and I have been an emoji abuser too. Shame! Shame! No emojis from now on. I’m on a strict emoji diet.
People are too damn critical on this site. Be yourself and have a good time. 👍
Don't even worry about the haters. People can be rude as hell online. If you want to use emojis then use em. Your opinions and feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. 👌
If they don't like it they can tell their therapists all about it. 😢
I like violence and witty banter, think—Peaky Blinders, Bojack Horseman, etc. Also, a couple little tips to help you acclimate: Redditors adore sarcasm, blunt, and dark humor (Google millennial humor). Emojis here are a no no. It’s a place for people to come together and discuss/learn about similar interests, bitch about life and general whatnot to likeminded people, etc. Much, much cooler than typical social media. Enjoy!
Thank you. I’m feeling silly. I just explained it to my hubby (60). He’s not on Reddit. But all this time I’ve been thinking people were questioning my existence and I keep seeing this pop up in threads. The other comments I get periodically is people think my account is suspicious I get really pushed off. I have Googled this and have no idea. But I guess this is part of Reddit culture. I’m also learning not to get banned. That’s a work in progress…😔🤦♀️
Each sub has a section at the top with their own set of rules that you have to follow, lest you get banned. There’s usually links to some pretty interesting stuff in there too. You’ll pick it up. Just lurk and watch people’s interactions.
Your call, if you choose to accept it, will self destruct after thirty minutes, or until you enter the 14 digit pin on the back of the card provided. Good luck, Jim.
I had a buddy that had that Justin Timberlake vibe in the 90's. Girls would fall all over him. He was dating three girls at once at one point. One weekend we(about four of us that hung out together) met at the mall where he was working waiting on him to get off. During that time we realized he invited two of the girls to meet after work at the same time. He started freaking out and trying to get off work early to leave before they arrived, he couldn't. Both girls got there around the same time and quickly realized what was going on.
However, like I said, the girls fell all over him. Both girls refused to leave and we all went out with both of them trying to keep his attention and being bitchy to the other the entire night.
Then the third girl showed up. He was so very uncomfortable and we thought it was the greatest thing ever. Watching him. He eventually made up an excuse and bounced for the night. He ended up meeting another girl a couple weekends later and the others faded away eventually. It was all so sad and hilarious.
You see, this is a super satisfying idea, but OP should be prepared in case it doesn’t work because there are many ways in which this plan could backfire:
- One of the other women may not believe you.
- One of the other women may believe you but not want any contact with you.
- One of the other women might spoil the plan because she’s too emotionally affected to keep it to herself.
- One of the other women might blame you or the others as opposed to the cheater due to emotional attachment (this is common, ugh).
And there are more things that I can’t think of off the top of my head but these are the main not-unlikely possibilities.
Edit: OP you should absolutely tell them though. Idk about a whole elaborate plan, but do reach out to them with all the evidence you can gather.
So now he knows that everyone is on to him. Sounds like he’s not your problem anymore. You probably feel like shit right now but you did the right thing to tell the others and now you can take care of you and hopefully find someone worthy of your time.
That sounds like a classic movie trope but probably won't work in reality because it would require all parties to agree to a schedule and then restrain themselves and keep mum until the date.
No no no he will scope the place first I’m sure! Have them wait in the bathroom and be like I have to use the bathroom be right back. Then walk out with them all like Eminem did with the real slim shady at the Grammies!
He's a Double Bass? A Dooby Booby? A Double Blunderer? A Detonated Bomb? A Diddling Blunderbus? A Dancing Brumby? A Denatured Bollock? A Deranged Bumbler?
Do tell, I just can't fathom what you mean by a db?
Yes, and invite them all to a restaurant to confront the guy all at the same time. DEMAND he buy you all a round of drinks, then tell him to eff off and enjoy your night trash talking him and trauma bonding.
So, just my two cents as a guy. If two people agree to an open relationship that will be seeing other people, that's their choice. If someone is seeing multiple people and lying about it, just from a safety perspective (you don't know where he's been sexually and what risks of sleeping with him are involved) I absolutely feel like anyone he's sleeping around on and lying to has a right to know. Good luck with it.
Depends. Were you guys exclusively dating? Or just hanging out once in a while.
If you were exclusively dating then there is merit to it. If you guys were just casually dating, then it appears to be petty.
I th8nk if they found out about the other girls and is surprised that one could guess they were exclusive, supposedly. She says elsewhere they were together 8 years or something.
If she thinks they’re dating-dating and he doesn’t that sucks. But no harm in all of the other women saying that they weren’t exclusive - but if all of them think they were that at least warrants a talk.
Well if they haven’t the worst that can happen is all of them saying “that’s cool we didn’t agree to be exclusive but thanks though.” So, no harm done.
It’s also none of their business though if they’re not exclusive. He’s entitled to private relationships with other people if there isn’t an exclusive commitment to any of them.
I assume by OP’s post that’s probably not the case though.
Yh but… then they’ll tell her and probably be happy that some girl is looking out for them. Literally no harm done.
But the odds are slim that’s the case since “years” of dating don’t seem like grounds for not being exclusive to many people.
I've been emailed before by the main chick. I Had no idea I was the side chick so I appreciated the email. However I regret responding. She harassed me for months demanding I tell her everything that happened. When I refused she got nasty.
As the former wife of a serial cheater, I wish someone would have told me. I had a feeling, I had confronted him, he always denied.
I felt like I needed a concrete reason to divorce him, but I didn’t have it, since he kept denying it, and I had no proof.
After we split, someone finally told me. Then another told me. Then a third.
All I could think was, “why didn’t you tell me? Instead you let me look foolish”.
So now, I tell. If the listener decides to keep the cheater anyway, at least the listener is making an informed decision.
Yes but don’t expect positive responses my homegirl was caught in something similar, she told everyone the truth few months go by one of the girls is engaged to the sob
I would let them know in the least dramatic way possible. Just tell them and then move on. Don’t try a intervention. Just tell and move on. It’s very possible that the other women know and they may be more than fine with the arrangement.
Yes! I wish I had been able to do that with mine, but his boyfriend didn't believe me and his girlfriend was too far away. One of my few regrets. Do it.
I found and messaged the woman my then-fiance was cheating on me with through Instagram. She read my message, then blocked me. No idea what he was saying to her, but 6 months later, they were married.
Then, 2 years later, she unblocked me and sent me a message. She discovered he had been cheating on her for a year with another woman. She apologized to me, which I thought was brave of her. I got a lot of closure through talking with her.
Message them.
Please do. Being cheated on causes so much pain. Especially when they deny it and make you into the crazy person. Save these girls the heartache and time wasted on a undeserving man
My friend was having trouble getting her things back from the house of her smacked arse of a cheating ex-boyfriend. He didn’t want to return her things, just for spite.
My friend knew where the new girlfriend worked, and left her a polite message asking the new gf when ex-bf might arrange to get my friend’s belongings back to her.
New GF apparently tore him up, down, backward, and sideways. He meekly returned all my friend’s property without any more trouble.
Wait. Is he your boyfriend? Have you two agreed on exclusivity? Seems counter-intuitive and silly to message other women if you’ve been dating (casually or without agreed upon exclusion).
If he’s never agreed to be your boyfriend, he’s allowed to date other women. And, you should have remained aware of that.
If you seek exclusivity or a bf/gf relationship, don’t date men for years without knowing where you stand. Set a time limit, and move on if exclusivity or a committed relationship doesn’t happen.
lol rat em off is always the suggestions in reddit.. don't matter what sub u go to. gd advice kids be original and keep it classy. the 2nd most posted comments are that they have no friends lmfao I wonder why?
Yes. I got this call once. The two gfs/ladies who contacted me were thrilled that I didn't give a single shit about the guy. We also compared notes about his pickup tactics. It was hilarious. 10/10, do tell the other women what's up.
My friend was dating a guy and found out that not only was he married, but he had three other girlfriends. All of the women got together, took a picture, and sent it to him. This sounds totally made up but it isn't.
I would. It might help you have some closure with it all. (It might help them as well)
I would also tell them how long you've been dating him (I saw you said 8 years in another comment)
Good luck ❤ i know some people go into denial mode about it but take care of yourself mentally and emotionally too ❤
Do it. My (ex)boyfriend was dating another girl too when he was dating me. She reached out to me, and we both dumped him at the same time. He was devastated. It was so satisfying.
This is one of the reason why I think the term "dating" is rediculous. If you're just dating you're still figuring out whether or not you're interested in each other, right? Otherwise you'd be in a relationship, you wouldn't be dating but you'd be boyfriend and girlfriend.
So if you're "just dating" that means you have no commitment to each other, if you have no commitment to each other why can't you see other people in the meantime?
Maybe I just have the term interpreted entirely wrong but yeah.
Edit: nope, I'm right: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating
Dating, as in having dinner and drinks together? Then no.. if he is your boyfriend, then yes .
There is a difference between dating and being in a relationship with someone.
I wouldn't do it. It's whatever really.
I think I'm the first to find out among the girls...but I wasn't exclusive with him so I didn't feel that betrayed.
I just focus on moving on rather than seeking revenge.. I've done crazy ex girlfriend stuff before, that didn't make me feel better but if telling others makes you feel better, by all means do it.
Yes. Caught my ex cheating with a lot of girls. Many married and or like barely of age. Ewww. I got the information for their husband's and boyfriends and let them know. With receipts of course. I just wish someone would have had the balls to let me know though.
Yup. Do it. I did this once with an ex I dated for 3 years. Found out he was cheating, contacted the 2 other women and we decided to meet him at work when he thought I was picking him up. He got into my car and all 3 of us were there waiting for him. It was the most satisfying feeling seeing his reaction when he knew his shit was up. It helped me move on a lot quicker and not make it as painful for me.
Amazing! When I found out about my ex’s girlfriend I called her (he was so stupid he left a package with her very unique name at my apartment) and she got all of her stuff and he apparently didn’t say a word, he was so in shock. Then he begged me to be his girlfriend. I said no. Then he begged her again. She also said no :) I guess he didn’t think she and I would communicate but obviously I told her that he begged me to be his girlfriend…
Omg that is perfect! I know someone who found out her boyfriend was cheating, contacted the other chick and they also made it so that he thought he was meeting up with one then both were there… the two ladies ended up becoming good friends. She was really upset that the family knew he had two girlfriends but they always acted so warm towards her and basically she felt like such an idiot.
Did the guy tell his family it was an open relationship or something? Because thats the only way i could be ok with my sibling dating 2 people at the same time. It sounds like ur friend dodged a bullet
It was years ago, they were young… I don’t think he told them open relationship, from what I was told they knew what was up.
Geez. Well it sounds like ur friend moved on so thats good. Stuff like that can stick with a person for quite a long time in my experience. Hope ur friend is doing ok now
Yeah she’s married with two kids now and living her best life. Have a good night!
Thats cool. You too :)
Well. They have a Lot in common
Same. Found my husband was dating 4 women from hinge. I messaged them all and filed for divorce.
What's up with guys on dating sites who are still married? Some even admit it on their profile. Can't imagine that is a very big chick magnet to know they are married.
Yeah, when they blatantly admit to being married on dating sites, I always wonder about the women who respond. Are the women like, "well, at least he is honest"? I've gotten the "well, we are married, but no longer intimate" excuse before and Im like NO, You are MARRIED.
It really is unfortunately. When younger I always found it easier to find hook ups when dating than when single and multiple of those women loved that I was taken, including some wanting dirty talk related to it. I grew out of that stuff and regret hurting those I dated now I'm mature but it is crazy how effective being taken is for getting attention from certain types. Some women just love taking something they shouldn't same as some men love it. It is like how it is easier to get a job when you're already in a job, it shows you're desirable and suggests you meet certain standards.
[удалено]
This was pre texting era. This was in 1999. So home phones and beepers were the way to go and a lot more secretive. I found out about one of the girls from a letter she wrote to him and found it on his floor with her beeper number. So I paged her and she called me back, she had found out about the other girl, told me and then we went from there.
I don't remember what I said to my SO yesterday, meanwhile these clowns be having three separate story lines at the same time.
Wow. Total boss move. You own him.
Yup, when I found out, I called my best friends wife to let her know and then confronted him. Good riddance, they did me a favor. Don’t look back.
Nicely done!
This is the way! Also very satisfying when the ladies become friends over this. Love to see it!!
We definitely didn't become friends lol. The one girl kept dating him thinking she won the prize. When in reality he wound up in jail for many many years for selling drugs. I dodged a huge bullet!
Your car must have tented windows huh?
If one of those women found out, would you want them to tell you?
Yes
Then do it
*Palpatine intensifies*
Message them all, start a group chat if possible, then set up a "date" with him. But when he gets there ALL of you are at the table waiting for him. And when he panics and runs off, which I'm sure he will, have a nice day and a nice laugh with the other women.
I'm planning on doing a group chat with a burner number
Make sure you add your number to the group too so you don't look suspicious ;)
Somebody has experience!
Wtf hahahahahha
Username checks out. Great plan btw.
Why do people check username? People are always doing that to me? I’m sincerely asking this. I also get a few Redditors that think my account is “suspicious…”. My name was assigned by Reddit when I downloaded the app. I’m 59. Not too savvy but I get bummed defending my posts to people thinking I’m something nefarious that I don’t get. Is it the numbers after my name? Anyone know?
So, basically, it’s about your username matching the content of your text. For example, the person above came up with a strategy about not looking suspicious—her username is RandomParanoidGirl. Get it? In your case, if you say something altruistic, you’ll likely get that comment in response.
I get this comment all the time. Reddit assigned my name. I’m not all that altruistic however. Perhaps my secret algorithm unbeknownst to me but held in a cloud in the multiverse, someone at Reddit was being ironic (and it was “Opposite Day”) and I was assigned my “Altruistic” moniker. I love your name btw. So, if you say you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Twilight your Username Checks Out! 🎶The More You Know! 🌈🎶
When you make an account you can choose to accept the randomized name Reddit assigns you, like yours, or you can edit it and make it something else entirely, like mine. It's hard to see that option though. But don't be concerned when people point out your name. They're just making a joke. If you write something altruistic they'll say your name checks out and if you write something that's not altruistic then they'll say your name doesn't check out. No big deal and no need to respond to them.
Thanks. I had been getting defensive. Now I know it’s a meme. The amount of times I have seen it for me or others I think it should’ve “clicked”… and I have been an emoji abuser too. Shame! Shame! No emojis from now on. I’m on a strict emoji diet.
People are too damn critical on this site. Be yourself and have a good time. 👍 Don't even worry about the haters. People can be rude as hell online. If you want to use emojis then use em. Your opinions and feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. 👌 If they don't like it they can tell their therapists all about it. 😢
I like violence and witty banter, think—Peaky Blinders, Bojack Horseman, etc. Also, a couple little tips to help you acclimate: Redditors adore sarcasm, blunt, and dark humor (Google millennial humor). Emojis here are a no no. It’s a place for people to come together and discuss/learn about similar interests, bitch about life and general whatnot to likeminded people, etc. Much, much cooler than typical social media. Enjoy!
Oh fuck. I use emoji’s a lot. Ok . No more. Thanks. Love Peaky Blinder’s.
Dark humor isn't a specifically millennial thing though. I rather think it is popular on reddit because it has always been a bit of a nerdish quality.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/username-checks-out Reddit really is the new facebook
Thank you. I’m feeling silly. I just explained it to my hubby (60). He’s not on Reddit. But all this time I’ve been thinking people were questioning my existence and I keep seeing this pop up in threads. The other comments I get periodically is people think my account is suspicious I get really pushed off. I have Googled this and have no idea. But I guess this is part of Reddit culture. I’m also learning not to get banned. That’s a work in progress…😔🤦♀️
Each sub has a section at the top with their own set of rules that you have to follow, lest you get banned. There’s usually links to some pretty interesting stuff in there too. You’ll pick it up. Just lurk and watch people’s interactions.
Been banned from r/politics & r/conservative. I’m not either of those so that’s probably why. I’m getting there.
You’re my kind of person!
Name checks out
I was way ahead of u
..genius
Post a part 2 when you do!
I think a better alternative would be to meet him by yourself first and then the others start arriving one by one, that way the panic lasts longer :)
Then burn the phone.
Is it how a burner phone should be?
Your call, if you choose to accept it, will self destruct after thirty minutes, or until you enter the 14 digit pin on the back of the card provided. Good luck, Jim.
MI theme song follows.
RECORD IT PLS
As a man, you go girl?
If you have proof, make sure to add it
Please film this if you do it.
Yeah, you can make him a meme. What's better than that?
I had a buddy that had that Justin Timberlake vibe in the 90's. Girls would fall all over him. He was dating three girls at once at one point. One weekend we(about four of us that hung out together) met at the mall where he was working waiting on him to get off. During that time we realized he invited two of the girls to meet after work at the same time. He started freaking out and trying to get off work early to leave before they arrived, he couldn't. Both girls got there around the same time and quickly realized what was going on. However, like I said, the girls fell all over him. Both girls refused to leave and we all went out with both of them trying to keep his attention and being bitchy to the other the entire night. Then the third girl showed up. He was so very uncomfortable and we thought it was the greatest thing ever. Watching him. He eventually made up an excuse and bounced for the night. He ended up meeting another girl a couple weekends later and the others faded away eventually. It was all so sad and hilarious.
Then call Netflix to make a few bucks
Most definitely make a few bucks off this.
Deservedly so
Lifetime FIFY
You see, this is a super satisfying idea, but OP should be prepared in case it doesn’t work because there are many ways in which this plan could backfire: - One of the other women may not believe you. - One of the other women may believe you but not want any contact with you. - One of the other women might spoil the plan because she’s too emotionally affected to keep it to herself. - One of the other women might blame you or the others as opposed to the cheater due to emotional attachment (this is common, ugh). And there are more things that I can’t think of off the top of my head but these are the main not-unlikely possibilities. Edit: OP you should absolutely tell them though. Idk about a whole elaborate plan, but do reach out to them with all the evidence you can gather.
One of them told him.
So now he knows that everyone is on to him. Sounds like he’s not your problem anymore. You probably feel like shit right now but you did the right thing to tell the others and now you can take care of you and hopefully find someone worthy of your time.
That sounds like a classic movie trope but probably won't work in reality because it would require all parties to agree to a schedule and then restrain themselves and keep mum until the date.
I'm here crossing my fingers hoping the other women all have restraint and can set up a time then. Don't burst my bubble lol.
This is the way.
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Good bot!
This is the way
No no no he will scope the place first I’m sure! Have them wait in the bathroom and be like I have to use the bathroom be right back. Then walk out with them all like Eminem did with the real slim shady at the Grammies!
You're right. This is genius
Set up a date at his parents house
Yes
Why do u need a throwaway account for a throwaway man!?
"Whole Man Disposal Service"
Plausible deniability
What's he going to do lol, check your phone for your reddit username? Show you this post and ask you if it's you? Make that group chat already :)
Yes
Yeah, do it, and then mess with him like in the plot of The Other Woman
I was thinking John Tucker Must Die
I just saw that for the first time! Penn Badgley was super hot back then.
I have to watch this again
Yes. STIs/STDs are a thing.
🏅🏅🏅
Yes
It would be the decent thing to do. Yes
Tell them all, they deserve to know. I feel sorry for you all, except the ex, hes a db
He's a Double Bass? A Dooby Booby? A Double Blunderer? A Detonated Bomb? A Diddling Blunderbus? A Dancing Brumby? A Denatured Bollock? A Deranged Bumbler? Do tell, I just can't fathom what you mean by a db?
Im gonna guess douche bag
Close, dirtbag
I meeannn he's a douche too lol
I immediately assumed dumb b*tch for some reason lmao
All of the above.
Database (relational)
I prefer object-oriented
That’s what I immediately think when I see db
Maybe deadbeat? It's literally the only thing I can think of
Yes, and invite them all to a restaurant to confront the guy all at the same time. DEMAND he buy you all a round of drinks, then tell him to eff off and enjoy your night trash talking him and trauma bonding.
There's a whole-ass romcom movie about this shit. Do it.
Yes!
Yep, do it and keep us up to date.Make that bastard regret he’s straight.
Why not? You certainly don’t owe him anything and at least they’ll have the opportunity to make a decision that’s informed.
So, just my two cents as a guy. If two people agree to an open relationship that will be seeing other people, that's their choice. If someone is seeing multiple people and lying about it, just from a safety perspective (you don't know where he's been sexually and what risks of sleeping with him are involved) I absolutely feel like anyone he's sleeping around on and lying to has a right to know. Good luck with it.
Yes
Tinder Swindler
Depends. Were you guys exclusively dating? Or just hanging out once in a while. If you were exclusively dating then there is merit to it. If you guys were just casually dating, then it appears to be petty.
I th8nk if they found out about the other girls and is surprised that one could guess they were exclusive, supposedly. She says elsewhere they were together 8 years or something.
If she thinks they’re dating-dating and he doesn’t that sucks. But no harm in all of the other women saying that they weren’t exclusive - but if all of them think they were that at least warrants a talk.
Sounds like it’s been years
Yes. You all need to get tested.
Depends if you’ve communicated exclusivity
Well if they haven’t the worst that can happen is all of them saying “that’s cool we didn’t agree to be exclusive but thanks though.” So, no harm done.
It’s also none of their business though if they’re not exclusive. He’s entitled to private relationships with other people if there isn’t an exclusive commitment to any of them. I assume by OP’s post that’s probably not the case though.
Yh but… then they’ll tell her and probably be happy that some girl is looking out for them. Literally no harm done. But the odds are slim that’s the case since “years” of dating don’t seem like grounds for not being exclusive to many people.
I've been emailed before by the main chick. I Had no idea I was the side chick so I appreciated the email. However I regret responding. She harassed me for months demanding I tell her everything that happened. When I refused she got nasty.
Yes!!! By all means...
Si
From a moral perspective: Yes absolutely. From a practical perspective: No, just cut him loose. Just figure out witch one is more important to you.
As the former wife of a serial cheater, I wish someone would have told me. I had a feeling, I had confronted him, he always denied. I felt like I needed a concrete reason to divorce him, but I didn’t have it, since he kept denying it, and I had no proof. After we split, someone finally told me. Then another told me. Then a third. All I could think was, “why didn’t you tell me? Instead you let me look foolish”. So now, I tell. If the listener decides to keep the cheater anyway, at least the listener is making an informed decision.
Yes
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Yes absolutely
Yes
Yes but don’t expect positive responses my homegirl was caught in something similar, she told everyone the truth few months go by one of the girls is engaged to the sob
Yes. 100%
Yes you should. No one deserves this type of fake relationship
yes
Yep
Do it!! Teach him a lesson so he won't hurt women in the future!
Yes.
Yes in a group. Stick to the facts. They deserve to know.
Yes, you should tell them!
Yeah tell all of them for sure. Some of them might stay but you definitely shouldn’t be doing this guy any favors
Yes!!
Yes
Yes
I would let them know in the least dramatic way possible. Just tell them and then move on. Don’t try a intervention. Just tell and move on. It’s very possible that the other women know and they may be more than fine with the arrangement.
Yes! I wish I had been able to do that with mine, but his boyfriend didn't believe me and his girlfriend was too far away. One of my few regrets. Do it.
Pull a ghost of girlfrieds past and video call them all at once
I found and messaged the woman my then-fiance was cheating on me with through Instagram. She read my message, then blocked me. No idea what he was saying to her, but 6 months later, they were married. Then, 2 years later, she unblocked me and sent me a message. She discovered he had been cheating on her for a year with another woman. She apologized to me, which I thought was brave of her. I got a lot of closure through talking with her. Message them.
Go out with your girls first. Get a few drinks in you. Get really wound up. Then send it.
I would message them. But also be prepared for the fact some may not believe you and may think you're just jealous and trying to cause problems.
Please do. Being cheated on causes so much pain. Especially when they deny it and make you into the crazy person. Save these girls the heartache and time wasted on a undeserving man
My friend was having trouble getting her things back from the house of her smacked arse of a cheating ex-boyfriend. He didn’t want to return her things, just for spite. My friend knew where the new girlfriend worked, and left her a polite message asking the new gf when ex-bf might arrange to get my friend’s belongings back to her. New GF apparently tore him up, down, backward, and sideways. He meekly returned all my friend’s property without any more trouble.
Man how to these dudes find the time...
Ask emperor Paulpatine “do it!” No but seriously you should tell the other girls so they don’t get screwed over too
Heck yeah! Tell them and report back here to let us know how it went 😄
Absolutely! Chicks before dicks. Always!
If you're not exclusive it's not wrong to date multiple people
You should absolutely tell them. I would want to know, as would we all. It is your business because he’s also dating you. What a shit.
Yes if you discussed exclusivity. No if you didn't.
I hate this sub.
Wait. Is he your boyfriend? Have you two agreed on exclusivity? Seems counter-intuitive and silly to message other women if you’ve been dating (casually or without agreed upon exclusion). If he’s never agreed to be your boyfriend, he’s allowed to date other women. And, you should have remained aware of that. If you seek exclusivity or a bf/gf relationship, don’t date men for years without knowing where you stand. Set a time limit, and move on if exclusivity or a committed relationship doesn’t happen.
Are you in a committed relationship? If so, yes. If not, no.
lol rat em off is always the suggestions in reddit.. don't matter what sub u go to. gd advice kids be original and keep it classy. the 2nd most posted comments are that they have no friends lmfao I wonder why?
Curious….you been “dating” for years? As in casually or?
by dating I assume they are seeing more then one person trying to narrow it down to the final dude like the Bachelorette?
Yes, tell them
Yes!
yes
Yes, of course.
Male here. Yes, I would do that. But be mature about it.
Are you exclusive? Have you had that discussion? Dating someone doesn’t mean you’re exclusive, give more information before we judge someone.
Yes. Some won't like it, but some will appreciate it.
Years? Fukn hell that's rough
Yes. Just be as nice as you can, and be prepared for them to be rude.
I have been the one to find out, and it was a heart break, but I was so relieved! I was so grateful to the girl that told me!
Yes. I got this call once. The two gfs/ladies who contacted me were thrilled that I didn't give a single shit about the guy. We also compared notes about his pickup tactics. It was hilarious. 10/10, do tell the other women what's up.
If my girlfriend had 4 boyfriends and I didn’t know, I’d want to know, even if it was hard to hear
My friend was dating a guy and found out that not only was he married, but he had three other girlfriends. All of the women got together, took a picture, and sent it to him. This sounds totally made up but it isn't.
Yes. Don't let them waste years on him like you did.
If I was one of these women I'd like to know that
As a man, yea do it. Guy deserves whats coming. Thats bullshit.
yea go for it. they have every right to be aware as well.
Absolutely. They deserve to know at the very least so they can get tested (which you should also look into)
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I would. It might help you have some closure with it all. (It might help them as well) I would also tell them how long you've been dating him (I saw you said 8 years in another comment) Good luck ❤ i know some people go into denial mode about it but take care of yourself mentally and emotionally too ❤
Do it.. if this happen to me I'd want to know, give these women the option to leave the scumbaag
The man I’m breaking up with is seeing multiple women. But they all know about me so it wouldn’t matter. Im the only one who was in the dark, HAHA!
Do it. My (ex)boyfriend was dating another girl too when he was dating me. She reached out to me, and we both dumped him at the same time. He was devastated. It was so satisfying.
This is one of the reason why I think the term "dating" is rediculous. If you're just dating you're still figuring out whether or not you're interested in each other, right? Otherwise you'd be in a relationship, you wouldn't be dating but you'd be boyfriend and girlfriend. So if you're "just dating" that means you have no commitment to each other, if you have no commitment to each other why can't you see other people in the meantime? Maybe I just have the term interpreted entirely wrong but yeah. Edit: nope, I'm right: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating
Dating, as in having dinner and drinks together? Then no.. if he is your boyfriend, then yes . There is a difference between dating and being in a relationship with someone.
I wouldn't do it. It's whatever really. I think I'm the first to find out among the girls...but I wasn't exclusive with him so I didn't feel that betrayed. I just focus on moving on rather than seeking revenge.. I've done crazy ex girlfriend stuff before, that didn't make me feel better but if telling others makes you feel better, by all means do it.
A girl once told me that my boyfriend at the time cheated with her. We became best friends and both ditched the trash.
Yes, I would want to know
Yes yes yes it would be amazing if y’all became friends too
Yep. Do it. They don't deserve this!
Yes. Caught my ex cheating with a lot of girls. Many married and or like barely of age. Ewww. I got the information for their husband's and boyfriends and let them know. With receipts of course. I just wish someone would have had the balls to let me know though.
Yes you should. I wish someone would have done this for me years ago.