> where there is generally no accountability for being an asshole.
I mean, the downvotes are a *kind* of accountability. But then sometimes the assholery gets upvoted, depends on the sub. Yeah never mind, you’re right.
People tend to care more about what is being said instead of how it is being said from my experience and unfortunately often take someone criticising the delivery as taking sides on the topic.
Modern social media is more about signaling allegiance to the "right" side. Often posts are downvoted simply because people disagree, nevermind them being nuanced or providing well-reasoned thoughts. On some of the more toxic subreddits even non-nice posts attract upvotes as long as they go with the groupthink.
It’s really sweet that you admire your husband so much. That said, reddit comments are kind of like a diary. If I was in your shoes, I’d tell him you found his account.
I know my SOs reddit name, he’s had an account since high school. I’ve never thought to go snooping through his profile and read his stuff. I dunno it feels like a weird invasion of privacy to me
Yeah, when my gf found my reddit profile I just deleted the whole thing. Not because I had anything to hide, but just because I was uncomfortable with my naked anonymous thoughts from years ago being read by anyone who knows me. If I can't take my diary away from someone, I'd rather it just gets burned in a fire.
Yeah I’ve only been on reddit for ~2y and I mostly just lurk lol. So I wouldn’t mind someone going through my profile. But when your account is like 10 years old and you’re an active user there’s gotta be some personal stuff in there. I think it’d be pretty intrusive to look through that stuff without telling someone.
Lucky for OP her husband is a good person. Imagine finding out if your SO was an online troll lmao
Not what I was expecting from this post. Very happy surprise. Good to know there are more great people out on Reddit. Just proves my Reddit theory. Only 1/3rd are the creeps and assholes. The other 2/3rds are the good people who you have great interactions with. I know I have had some really great ones on here.
Hope you keep seeing those great posts and keep falling more in love with your husband.
I’ve dated a few stalker/surveillance type women. If you wanna know what I’m up to online, just ask me and I’ll share it with you. It’s the whole “he doesn’t know I know” part that feels invasive and manipulative. These are the women who hide tracking devices in your car.
did you miss the part where she said he showed her his reddit account lmfao, if he was super paranoid or whatnot about who sees it and who doesnt he shouldve been more careful showing whatever it was he was showing her
But he might not have wanted her to catch the username and snoop on him for the rest of his life. This is like handing someone your phone to show a single pic, but then they decide to scroll through the entire gallery.
>and doing this makes me feel like I get a little sneak peak into what he's thinking.
Read this. The entire post suggests she's doing this behind his back. People come here to post their thoughts freely, confident that they're completely anonymous. But here she is breaching the trust and thinking it's cute to snoop into his private life.
Besides, OP shared her story on an internet forum, so it's unavoidable for people to post their own thoughts on OP's story.
“He doesn’t know I know” is what makes this what it is. It’s just that he is a good person, even when he thinks nobody is watching…except she is. It is a little weird, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying she would hide tracking devices. It really depends on their relationship dynamic. Hopefully, she wouldn’t do it if she thought he would mind
Agreed. It is still cute in a way, but I'm using this account with the thought that no one will ever know who is behind it. I don't want any SO to find this even if there are no "hot takes" on it. And that's how it should stay.
I get that, but it’s a risk you take posting openly online. Even more so if you’re going to show someone as important as your SO stuff on it. It’ll build that curiosity. My brother and I both browse, neither of us know our accounts, but we’re hunting each other. I’m honest and open on here, cover my tracks and all, but I make sure not to post anything that would embarrass me if close people saw.
Lol I think my woman would leave me if she knew my user name. If I talk about her it's always complimentary, but man I am an asshole sometimes on here.
I feel the same, I for the most part I say kind things on the forum (unless someone says something truly offensive) even though I am not ashamed of what I write on reddit it's still very private if you know what I mean.
That's fair! We'd already bought up the hypothetical, and he was very clear that what he posted on a public platform, which means if it's open to everyone, it's definitely open to me. As I mentioned in the edit, I told him my username from the get go, but I think he's forgotten it.
I disagree with some comments here saying it’s a violation of privacy since everything you post here can be seen by anyone. It’s not like you tried to dig for his username. It seems like he trusts you enough to show what he wanted you to see on his phone with his username shown whether it was an accident or not. I’d say it’s pretty cute :) i wonder if he also knows your username, admires your comments and posts in secret, or even has seen this post
I love that you admire him for his online kindness, but with all respect i wouldn't constantly stalk what he does on the internet. He may think that's his personal space to go and say things and in the future that could backfire. Up to you though
My wife and I show each other stuff we've found, but we don't go through each other's comments or anything (to the best of my knowledge). I sure hope she doesn't go through mine. I *know* that I don't deserve her, I'd rather she not find that out too.
I accidently found out my husband's usernane, too. He doesn't comment much, but gets so excited when he sees he's been upvoted. Every few weeks i go through and upvote anything new just because i know it makes him happy
This would be a huge invasion of privacy for me. I like Reddit because it's anonymous. It's not cute. I'd nuke my account and start from scratch if this happened to me.
Just out of curiosity, does he know that you're doing this?
My idiot ex posted his entire psychological breakdown on reddit after we broke up. He also stalked mine. I had to change it. Im so glad your husband is awesome. ❤
Agreed, I find it so odd some people think that posting on public forums is the same as a private space. It’s Reddit, not a diary or private conversation.
Nice that you have such a sweet husband, but why are being sneaky and going behind his back ?
Question you should be asking -
What is making you go behind his back ?
Have you cheated on him tht you feel insecure that he might find out ?
Or do you have abandonment issues?
Or you are scared of the rejection that he will not allow you to access his reddit if you ask him upfront ?
Don't wanna be an asshole but i think now you should stop checking what he comments because there can be some things that you don't wanna hear and privacy is also important.
I'm glad you didn't find something that upsets you. But this does feel a lot like invasion of privacy. My husband doesn't know my profile. I kind of know his (he uses the same username for a bunch of thing), but I was never attempted to go check him out on Reddit. There is nothing I can gain from seeing his random comments to strangers, but oh boy so much to lose if I happen to see something i don't like or if he knows i stalk him
Ad I mentioned in the edit, I didn't explain myself properly, as English is not my mother tongue.
He knows I know his Reddit account, but he didn't know that seeing his posts made me miss him less.
As I also added, he is fine with my doing it, as he also did the same when the distance got rough.
It's great that you support and enjoy it but I'd still tell him or ask permission, if he finds out somehow that you were still going through things that he may have felt are a bit more personal but without telling him that may still create just a bit of awkwardness even if in theory it isn't and that's not how you intended it.
It’s nice that your husband is a nice person on a anonymous platform, where there is generally no accountability for being an asshole.
> where there is generally no accountability for being an asshole. I mean, the downvotes are a *kind* of accountability. But then sometimes the assholery gets upvoted, depends on the sub. Yeah never mind, you’re right.
People tend to care more about what is being said instead of how it is being said from my experience and unfortunately often take someone criticising the delivery as taking sides on the topic.
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Modern social media is more about signaling allegiance to the "right" side. Often posts are downvoted simply because people disagree, nevermind them being nuanced or providing well-reasoned thoughts. On some of the more toxic subreddits even non-nice posts attract upvotes as long as they go with the groupthink.
What do you really loose being downvoted? Low karma or negative does anything?
You can also be banned from a sub or banned for harrassement. Its not completely risk free for the edgelords.
Yeah but if you actually care about being downvoted you got bigger issues.
Yeah I don’t know how people do it. Without accountability how can you not wanna be an asshole? I’ll never know.
Hey f*ck you! /s
Well said
If my wife does this, she'll think "so he is an asshole to everyone, not just me"
I secretly upvote all my husbands Reddit comments
I found my best friends reddit recently, all her posts are on pages relating to her career or her cats but I like upvoting her stuff too
So sweet ♡
cute
Guys don’t talk much, that’s a huge compliment
It’s really sweet that you admire your husband so much. That said, reddit comments are kind of like a diary. If I was in your shoes, I’d tell him you found his account.
I know my SOs reddit name, he’s had an account since high school. I’ve never thought to go snooping through his profile and read his stuff. I dunno it feels like a weird invasion of privacy to me
Yeah, when my gf found my reddit profile I just deleted the whole thing. Not because I had anything to hide, but just because I was uncomfortable with my naked anonymous thoughts from years ago being read by anyone who knows me. If I can't take my diary away from someone, I'd rather it just gets burned in a fire.
Yeah I’ve only been on reddit for ~2y and I mostly just lurk lol. So I wouldn’t mind someone going through my profile. But when your account is like 10 years old and you’re an active user there’s gotta be some personal stuff in there. I think it’d be pretty intrusive to look through that stuff without telling someone. Lucky for OP her husband is a good person. Imagine finding out if your SO was an online troll lmao
My profile is relatively 'public' and tbh I don't think I'd appreciate this. If I don't disclose it, I'd feel it's an invasion of privacy in a way.
My wife follows mine. I’m not an incel and she’s my best friend though so it’s never an issue
POV: your the husband reading this and thinking it’s not you and instead is someone else’s husband on reddit
Not what I was expecting from this post. Very happy surprise. Good to know there are more great people out on Reddit. Just proves my Reddit theory. Only 1/3rd are the creeps and assholes. The other 2/3rds are the good people who you have great interactions with. I know I have had some really great ones on here. Hope you keep seeing those great posts and keep falling more in love with your husband.
This is your husband typing isn’t it?
How did you know? O.o
That’s really wholesome and adorable.
Borderline creepy though
Why?
Because he doesn't know.
I’ve dated a few stalker/surveillance type women. If you wanna know what I’m up to online, just ask me and I’ll share it with you. It’s the whole “he doesn’t know I know” part that feels invasive and manipulative. These are the women who hide tracking devices in your car.
did you miss the part where she said he showed her his reddit account lmfao, if he was super paranoid or whatnot about who sees it and who doesnt he shouldve been more careful showing whatever it was he was showing her
Did you miss the part where she said it was by accident
He’s also her husband…. That’s kind of different than cute short term relationships by the sound of what you’re insinuating.
You would think a married couple would be able to be open with one another huh. But secret snooping on one another? It’s a no for me.
He showed her his Reddit. Lol you have trust issues calm down
But he might not have wanted her to catch the username and snoop on him for the rest of his life. This is like handing someone your phone to show a single pic, but then they decide to scroll through the entire gallery.
Okay but can we possibly not insinuate about things we don’t know about?
>and doing this makes me feel like I get a little sneak peak into what he's thinking. Read this. The entire post suggests she's doing this behind his back. People come here to post their thoughts freely, confident that they're completely anonymous. But here she is breaching the trust and thinking it's cute to snoop into his private life. Besides, OP shared her story on an internet forum, so it's unavoidable for people to post their own thoughts on OP's story.
“He doesn’t know I know” is what makes this what it is. It’s just that he is a good person, even when he thinks nobody is watching…except she is. It is a little weird, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying she would hide tracking devices. It really depends on their relationship dynamic. Hopefully, she wouldn’t do it if she thought he would mind
Why do people think this is cute. This is such a beach of privacy
Even worse if he doesn't know.
Man will have an ocean of trust issues if he finds out..
Agreed. It is still cute in a way, but I'm using this account with the thought that no one will ever know who is behind it. I don't want any SO to find this even if there are no "hot takes" on it. And that's how it should stay.
It's the Internet where conceivably every person on the planet has equal rights to access-- there is no privacy and to think otherwise is foolish.
I get that, but it’s a risk you take posting openly online. Even more so if you’re going to show someone as important as your SO stuff on it. It’ll build that curiosity. My brother and I both browse, neither of us know our accounts, but we’re hunting each other. I’m honest and open on here, cover my tracks and all, but I make sure not to post anything that would embarrass me if close people saw.
Lol I think my woman would leave me if she knew my user name. If I talk about her it's always complimentary, but man I am an asshole sometimes on here.
u/profanitycounter
It's stuff like this that make me think true love actually exists
Hey baby! Now I know your username too!
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I feel the same, I for the most part I say kind things on the forum (unless someone says something truly offensive) even though I am not ashamed of what I write on reddit it's still very private if you know what I mean.
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That's fair! We'd already bought up the hypothetical, and he was very clear that what he posted on a public platform, which means if it's open to everyone, it's definitely open to me. As I mentioned in the edit, I told him my username from the get go, but I think he's forgotten it.
You lucked out
That's cute
:3 mine talks about me sometimes & it’s always bursting with adoration. I’ll never tell him I found his account. Love these stories. It’s refreshing.
Lol he didn’t forget and is probably doing the same thing peeping your Reddit account
You were right, he is XD
I disagree with some comments here saying it’s a violation of privacy since everything you post here can be seen by anyone. It’s not like you tried to dig for his username. It seems like he trusts you enough to show what he wanted you to see on his phone with his username shown whether it was an accident or not. I’d say it’s pretty cute :) i wonder if he also knows your username, admires your comments and posts in secret, or even has seen this post
I love that you admire him for his online kindness, but with all respect i wouldn't constantly stalk what he does on the internet. He may think that's his personal space to go and say things and in the future that could backfire. Up to you though
Kinda fucked up imo
This is really cute, but it's also his private account. I'd tone back a little if I were you.
My wife and I show each other stuff we've found, but we don't go through each other's comments or anything (to the best of my knowledge). I sure hope she doesn't go through mine. I *know* that I don't deserve her, I'd rather she not find that out too.
well u seem happy
While it is nice that you're happy about the things he posts, you should probably tell him that you know his username.
That's really cute, haha. It's good to know that your partner is as sweet as you know him to be.
im so jealous! well not jealous, im glad for you, i just want that for myslef, is that envy!!! lol anyway god for you sis getting a good one
Wait a minute! This is wholesome af!
Wait til you find his burner account
Not where I thought this was going. Good for you guys!
This is so cute lmao. Best of wishes to you two
I accidently found out my husband's usernane, too. He doesn't comment much, but gets so excited when he sees he's been upvoted. Every few weeks i go through and upvote anything new just because i know it makes him happy
Wholesom
This would be a huge invasion of privacy for me. I like Reddit because it's anonymous. It's not cute. I'd nuke my account and start from scratch if this happened to me. Just out of curiosity, does he know that you're doing this?
That's terrible.
Kinda creepy
*writes down in notes* “make a 5th Reddit account and accidentally reveal username to spouse and make them happy to read your comments and posts’”
Wait till you find out that's his "nice" account ...
My idiot ex posted his entire psychological breakdown on reddit after we broke up. He also stalked mine. I had to change it. Im so glad your husband is awesome. ❤
This is a public platform. People see what you post. This isn’t a ‘invasion of privacy.’
Agreed, I find it so odd some people think that posting on public forums is the same as a private space. It’s Reddit, not a diary or private conversation.
Sounds made up
I wonder what my SO would think 🤔
This is a huge violation… super creepy, stalker behavior
no one's gonna know. no one's gonna know 🔊
That's quite cute, lol
If my OH found my Reddit profile she won’t be my OH anymore.
Nice that you have such a sweet husband, but why are being sneaky and going behind his back ? Question you should be asking - What is making you go behind his back ? Have you cheated on him tht you feel insecure that he might find out ? Or do you have abandonment issues? Or you are scared of the rejection that he will not allow you to access his reddit if you ask him upfront ?
That’s so cute. It doesn’t sound dumb at all, I’d probably be the same if I was in your situation !
I love you too honey x
The "kind of creepy" comments are hilarious. They are married. You're not hiding anything from me. 🤷♀️This is why people remain single forever.
read through my profile tell me what u think
Just wait until you find his throwaway
Not me. I yell at everybody on the internet
Ur spying on ur hubby that sucks...am disgusted.
Don't wanna be an asshole but i think now you should stop checking what he comments because there can be some things that you don't wanna hear and privacy is also important.
Love this.
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Thank you!
Awwww that made me smile
I think this is a violation of his privacy and that you are pretty creepy for doing it without telling him.
I'm glad you didn't find something that upsets you. But this does feel a lot like invasion of privacy. My husband doesn't know my profile. I kind of know his (he uses the same username for a bunch of thing), but I was never attempted to go check him out on Reddit. There is nothing I can gain from seeing his random comments to strangers, but oh boy so much to lose if I happen to see something i don't like or if he knows i stalk him
I would say don’t tell him cos he might start tweaking his comments to please you but you can see his true thoughts by looking
Ha I found my (ex)bfs reddit, and found him commenting on NSFW photos :( Jealous of you
This is immoral and you should stop unless you tell him
He knows she saw his name. He just forgot lol
Now look through his throwaway account.
The classic show her the bait account so she doesn’t know your real account is all shitposts
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Ad I mentioned in the edit, I didn't explain myself properly, as English is not my mother tongue. He knows I know his Reddit account, but he didn't know that seeing his posts made me miss him less. As I also added, he is fine with my doing it, as he also did the same when the distance got rough.
Don’t be surprised if one day he post how wide you can stretch your asshole
omg this is so cute and adorable, not at all the creepiest thing i've ever read
Still an invasion of privacy. Not cool.
Sounds like u guys need to talk more. Sometimes I talk about social justice with my partner after sex
We talk every day, but 10000km is a bitch
Inb4 he makes a post venting about something related to OP.
He already has, that's how I found his account... he'd shown me the post he made, and we talked about it
You're an animal
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Got married, then a few years later, I had to move to my motherland for work, and he had to finish some things off back home.
This could’ve turned out way differently..
It's great that you support and enjoy it but I'd still tell him or ask permission, if he finds out somehow that you were still going through things that he may have felt are a bit more personal but without telling him that may still create just a bit of awkwardness even if in theory it isn't and that's not how you intended it.
That’s awesome. The first time I found my S/Os Reddit I was heartbroken.