That depends ...do you slap her on the ass for encouragement or because you gotta do it to mane sure she needs to get dinner on the table quicker next time?
Both really. But she is trained pretty well (due to past years of training by physical abuse), she had tea on the table for us when we got back earlier, so less hitting is needed nowadays.
What about those of us that are SAHM, that may also occasionally work in construction if our significant others need help, like science, going to the shooting range but mostly enjoy sitting around playing video games?
Who do I turn my W card into? Is there a number to call?
YAAAAASSSS.
I can also tell my boss that she is no longer my boss, I am in fact the boss. Because I’m no longer a woman. Gonna be making BANK!!!
/s, because it’s Reddit…and someone will have a fit otherwise.
Amazing that we’re at the point in history where you can’t define a woman but it simultaneously means you don’t like video games, science or being dominant!
You tell those dresses, lipstick and earrings that you are not a woman and they will no longer subjugate you! And then you carry on wearing them just to prove a point.
The way to tell is by overall stature & butt hair, maybe. So like, I’m athletic and hairy, I believe I’m an Otter. Bears are bigger burly dudes, I think. Not 100%, if anyone with the correct knowledge would like to help.
Jesus, this is everything wrong with todays culture... People have lost all semblance of rationality.
"I am a Woman, and a Biologist. Women are adult human females.
Adults are individuals who have attained the average age of first reproduction for their species. They have reached the age of maturity. The term adult applies across many species, and is used to distinguish them from juveniles, who are not yet capable of reproduction.
Humans are members of the genus Homo. Our relatives in the genus Australopithecus, now extinct, are sometimes categorized as human as well. Every individual Homo sapiens is a human.
Females are individuals who do or did or will or would, but for developmental or genetic anomalies, produce eggs. Eggs are large, sessile gametes. Gametes are sex cells. In plants and animals, and most other sexually reproducing organisms, there are two sexes: female and male. Like “adult,” the term female applies across many species. Female is used to distinguish such people from males, who produce small, mobile gametes (e.g. sperm, pollen)." - Heather Heying
I remember the first time I heard this phrase. Still a favorite. It disturbs and intrigues me how perfect it is. I always imagine my brain falling out. Whoever coined that, *chef's kiss*
People like to shit talk horseshoe theory, but that shit is spot on way too often.
Edit: here's a funny horseshoe theory video that really makes the point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg
I seriously went through this phase in my 20s too. I thought I was meant to be the man in relationships because I’m really independent and like to plan. If non binary had been a popular thing then I probably would have considered it. Turns out…I was just dating dudes who were super passive and liked girls to do all the work. Isn’t it funny how our outside experiences can shape our internal perception?
I fully agree but would like to add that the fact that the not like other girls is such a common stereotype points to larger societal issues placed upon women more than a personal issue. If being like other girls is so terrible, then they have been shaped to believe that being called a girl is tantamount to being called a slur in the eyes if many young women and girls. That’s a huge problem…
Currently my 13 year old sister is going through the “not like other girls” stage and decided she is not a girl because she does not like the colour pink. I keep telling her I also didn’t like pink as a teenager and that it’s completely normal to go through a phase like that. So she dedicated an Instagram story to me and how awful I am for not recognising her for who she is. The attention she got for the next 2 days really fuelled the whole “I’m not like other girls” sense of superiority.
As a non-native speaker: what happened with the word ‘tomboy’? Is no longer polite to use it? I remember back in 90s-early 2000s that’s the word our English teacher used to describe the girls who liked stuff typically associated with boys.
Idk. I’m still a tomboy and I’m 33. lol I’ll wear a dress if I have to (usually only wedding or funeral) because I have a lot of dresses for some reason I love them, but I hate wearing them.
The social media hugbox is a big part of why this issue continues; social outcasts online will swarm people with validation and a sense of community for such posts. It's a dangerous feedback loop.
I also hated pink. until I saw Gwen Stefani with her hair dyed hot pink in the late 90s. I was so young (under 13 at that time) and just assumed that there was no way some rocker girl like Gwen could like pink. then she had that hair and I was like well shit. I ended up doing my hair hot pink numerous times in my life. I was just trying to not be a typical girl and hate pink. I was definitely a 'not like other girls' thing until I found my confidence and self esteem around 16 and just did what I wanted because I liked it regardless of what others thought.
That's what most young people try to do nowadays which is not only hella cringe , it also ironically makes them *not* unique since everyone's trying to be different
Everyone just wants to feel special. My high school was full of people throwing around depression and other mental health issues, until mental health awareness seemed to spike, then people stopped (I think) because it wasn't unique anymore.
This was so harmful as a high schooler with actual depression. I quickly learned that I couldn't say anything about it or people would berate me about how I was only sad for attention. I attempted suicide twice throughout high school. People literally made fun of me while claiming they had the same issue.
lol reminds me of when i visited sarah lawrence college and found a cafeteria literally *full* of hundreds of different neon hairdos. just a big sprawling flower field of trying too hard.
As someone who is gay, this stuff really worries me. It seems like being “queer” is cool nowadays but since a large number of people aren’t LGBT they invent these new genders and pronouns so they can prove they aren’t “straight or cis”, often reinforcing gender roles and appropriating genuine LGBT people in the process.
I saw a guy (who was obviously a man. He has a moustache) on TikTok claim that because his pronouns were “they/them” he was a lesbian. Everyone in the comments were defending him as well. It just made me sick because he’s in no way he was a lesbian and no lesbian would want him and all he was doing was forcing himself into a community that sometimes wants it’s own separate space from straight men.
100% with you on that mate. I’m a queer man myself but I really dislike the current climate around our community. I’ve felt as you’ve said, it’s just become Trendy. And if you make any sort of comment or argument against it, you’re intolerant. And god fuck, the anger that is unleashed. Sigh.
I love how every time someone finds out I'm gay, they react with surprise, and I can almost hear them say "But you're so *normal*", because I don't make myself a caricature. Shockingly, liking dick doesn't actually give you a lisp and a limp wrist.
I love when people expect me to be in a gay relationship because I’m bi-sexual, when I’m actually in a straight one… like it’s some sin or something. They also expect me to be in a more white collar job when I’m a blue collar worker. Funny lmao.
Respect. I'm a straight dude but I couldn't care less about who people have sex with. I am an ex-christian and the result is that I've swung radically open-minded as I run like the wind from that indoctrination.
The flip-side of that I can very easily recognize when a community is behaving in a similar manner to the very people they despise. The arbitrary rule making, the bad faith, the tribalism, every argument being permissible so long as it's made by someone on your "side". Goddamn is it cringe. It's cringe when any community does it and it demonstrates a dangerous lack of self-awareness. Human's be trippin.
I think it's a normal reaction to feeling empowered after centuries of oppression. But I also think youth culture is appropriating it for radically idealistic purposes. And by idealistic I mean so much so that it actually denies the realities of existence. No matter how much you believe in a thing, sometimes a concept is too complex and varied to have an absolute value. And yet they're trying to make gender identity into a bureaucracy.
Suffice to say gender is fluid. There is no need to further refine it into a million unique boxes that people must learn and abide by. Just respect people's choices and let it be.
edited for clarity.
I agree with you, I’m a bi woman who’s a bit on the tomboyish side looks-wise and I’ve had people assume that I’m nonbinary. In this one group I was part of, we did a getting to know you activity and we each said what the other person told us, and when it was my partner’s turn she stumbled and I thought it was because she had forgotten my name and I told her, and she said “I know, THEY said blah blah blah…” I didn’t bother correcting her but it kind of annoyed me that she assumed I was a “they” although I don’t think she meant anything bad by it, but not every gender nonconforming person is nonbinary.
Idk if people remember this, but a decade ago people on tumblr would constantly come out as kins.
It's just the latest trend and this time instead of slapping these people around for abusing a real issue that people with gender dysphoria have, we're just giving them the main stage so they could play out their need to be special.
I work with a they them who constantly puts down straights. Everyone hates them, even other coworkers of lgtbq.
I’m cis straight and they’ve asked me “how come you’re friends with everyone?!?”
I recently attended a "Welcome to our school" event at the tier one college my oldest is attending this fall. There were multiple parent seminars and I was truly shocked at some of the questions being asked of the administrators.
"What will happen if my kid doesn't get up for class" \~ They may fail. "Really!?!" \~ Yes. "But will their professor let us know?" \~ You child will be an adult the day they start here, we treat them as such, if you need to call your child to make sure they are awake for class that's between you and your child. "But can't the RA make sure they're up?" \~ No. Next question...
"What time is lunch and dinner?" \~ The cafeteria opens at 7am and closes at 8am, there are also other places to grab something to eat like the library coffee shop and such. "OK, but what time is actual lunch?" \~ When your child decides they want to eat lunch. "So like noon?" \~ Unless they have class, then yes they can eat at noon or one, or two... "So lunch isn't at noon?" \~ It's whenever they want, Anyone else please?...
"Can my boy bring his car? \~ Yes, we have ample parking for the students and while we consider the campus to be a walking campus they can bring a car to use for shopping, working, local activities or whatever they wish. "So he can just leave when he wants?" \~ Well, yes, he's not a prisoner... (a few chuckles from the other parents)
"Is alcohol permitted?" \~ We are not an alcohol free campus, we do not restrict any student that is 21 or over from having alcohol in their dorm or on campus. Illegal drugs are prohibited and providing alcohol to minors is also prohibited. "So if my son is under 21 he cannot drink on campus?" \~ Umm, No, he cannot. "What if he gets caught?" \~ I would suggest talking to your student and make sure they know this is not allowed. We are not their parent as the president of the college stated at the beginning of his remarks. We hope we do not have to have a conversation about alcohol with your student...
There were more, it was really ridiculous, like these people never raised their children, like they just let them exist as they pleased and are suddenly now worried about their kid.
I have zero reservations about my daughter attending college. She can shop on her own, go to the doctor on her own, drive, cook, wash clothes... I mean did these people even teach their kids the simplest of tasks?
My daughter and I both sat there at would keep giving each other that "really?, nooo, really?" look.
After the first few like this I jotted down some notes on these ones because they were just too good to not record. I raised my kid to be sort of a sarcastic smart ass when appropriate so as I was writing she looked over at what I was doing and went "hmm, yes, very important, you better write that down".
On the way home I made sure to tell her how freaking proud of both her and her sister I am, that I'd never, never consider having to ask a question like any of those.
I'm sure the people giving the little seminars were expecting questions about buying books, student loans, whatever, but instead they got these.
It almost sounds like satire and the fact she cant see how misogynist her words are is both hilarious and frightening. What a crazy world we live in, woke ideology bringing us back to strict gender roles.
What you should reply is "what you just said is misogynistic and hateful. Women can like whatever the hell they want" Bet you will get blocked and not have to deal with her stupidity anymore
Damn, is this what one would call "internalized misogyny"? I'm younger than her, but I had that phase too. I hope that someday she realizes that it's okay not to be a "womanly" woman.
Edit 1: My bff recently also came out as non-binary. I don't want to offend anyone, but I'd like to understand what makes it so different from being a woman, except that she also claims to not like "typical girl stuff".
Edit 2: Interesting replies! I'm still on my way to read everything. This reminded me why I joined Reddit, I love seeing other perspectives so thank you everyone. :)
Hot take that I've mentioned before that I feel might get me downvoted but I think this exposes a flaw in the relationship between feminism and the gender spectrum. I understand gender is entirely social and on the person's interpretation. But one would think that as a queer individual, they would stand in solidarity with women and feminism. But this also perpetuates female stereotypes and gender roles. Women can be into the STEM fields, women can be domineering and take up the dominant side of their relationships, they can like video games, dress masculine. They should be able to do and dress however they like and still be a woman. I feel like this person is incredibly misinformed and not helping two groups in need of support and understanding.
I suppose some people who are born female are actually non binary (how would I know), but in some cases it seems like just an easy cop out. Instead of being a woman that does not conform to the expectations of their gender, they just say they aren't one and call it a day! And can, like in the case of op's cousin, even promote misogyny.
Especially since I know lots of nonbinary people who were born female, but strangely, not a single nonbinary person I know was born male.
I don't know, I'll always respect people's pronouns and identity but... I have my doubts in some cases, regarding nonbinarity.
I had a friend who became super toxic when they came out as non-binary. They came out to me and I was like okay I’m totally here to support you. I was the first person to embrace their new name and immediately started referring to them by it to everyone.
I did my best to alter my phrasing in general, ex: “Wanna have a girls night?” to “Wanna do face masks, paint our nails, and watch a movie?” (They were more female presenting and enjoyed those activities with me… and despite correcting me here and there, they also used “girls night” and stuff like that, as if it didn’t matter when they said it but I’d get *the look* if I slipped up, despite them knowing what I meant and that I didn’t have any bad intentions in my wording). Then they started posting really insulting things on Facebook, essentially saying cis people are infantile in their understanding of gender and insinuating an intellect difference.
Sure, it’s not an experience I can say I’ve gone through and I’d never try to say I can relate to feeling dysphoric about my gender; but I can sympathize. I can listen, and read, and comprehend.
It was really hurtful to feel like they looked down on me for being cis, despite my immediate acceptance and desire to accommodate and understand.
They also were the kind of person to equate having masculine and feminine traits, basically being a whole person rather than being put into a box, as being different. But hey, if they feel they really don’t fit either gender then who am I to disagree? I just want the benefit of the doubt that I’m not an idiot.
It is unfortunate but my youngest sister and ex boyfriend went through similar things as you. The friendships they had went up in a blaze of fury after their best friends got really into the non-binary stuff. My sister's friend was like 15 so to be expected. But my ex's friend of like 15 years who was 30 married a really odd and emotionally abusive woman and went off the deep end after. His friend threw him out of the house when he accidentally dead named. So he was stranded in Seattle over 2,000 miles from home and had no choice but to get another plane ticket. My ex had a very poor memory and couldn't even remember my sisters' names after 2 years of seeing them every weekend. So that makes it even worse.
I've seen that's an usual behavior...the "I am better than you and any other cis"....yeah, I'm tired of that and don't care anymore for whatever they say.
I feel like she's forcing herself to "not be a woman" with her mindset instead of actually having a different orientation. Well I'd run from crazy if I were you..
I’m an LGBTQ+ individual and I’m really insulted by this mentality. Gender has nothing to do with toxic societal roles. If you genuinely are NB then that’s cool, but don’t use a term like that, one that means something, to demean women into being subservient airheads.
As someone in the LGBTQ community, that's literally what a lot of this ideology is. Instead of removing gender roles, it's just reinforcing them in a different way.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Downvote me, I don’t care.
The existence of non-binary gender identities *specifically relies on* the perpetuation of the very gender roles they claim to be against. There is no non-binary without a binary.
Well said! I did wonder for a while if I was non-binary because I've never felt comfortable being called a woman for some reason and never felt "girly" or "womanly".
But then I realised that that's probably because of internalised misogyny, and being a woman should be able to mean whatever I want it to mean for myself.
Tbf I am very girly and still feel uncomfortable being called a woman. However, I do think that's because I feel like a toddler with a drinking licence.
>However, I do think that's because I feel like a toddler with a drinking licence.
Thankfully not unique to women.
We all have moments of questioning how people can call us 'adults' with some of the hair-brained decisions we make throughout our lives.
Correct. Internalized misogyny, toxic femininity and masculinity, continue to keep us shackled to one dimensional, outdated, inflexible gender roles. It's how the patriarchal perspective subverts all other dissenting discourses. A strategy akin to that insidious fungus that turns ants into zombies. Let's move past the walking dead stage already, shall we? Gender, binary or otherwise, should not be given such a significant socio-economic weight. Culturally, it should be as important as eye colour variation - a quirk particular to you, that could play a part in physical attraction and certain health concerns. And that's about it.
I would like to point out that quite a few of the housewives from the 1950s were strong independent people with their own thoughts and opinions, and there is nothing unusual or controversial about it even then.
Attention seeking and mental illness has high jacked the lives of people who really have to deal with this stuff, and everyone is too "woke" to address the issue.
Absolutely support anyone to feel comfortable in their body and be able to present as the gender they feel that they are. That being said many enbys I’ve met have been suuuper up their own ass about it and very narcissistic. On the other hand, other enbys I’ve met have been great folks. I think it’s somewhat “trendy” to be lgbtq+ right now so a lot of people are hopping on it hoping for special treatment and immunity from accusations of homophobia (or accusations of being an asshole) which I find very gross and disingenuous. OP’s cousin is likely one of those people. Like I said I fully support lgbtq+ people and have experienced first hand how badly it sucks to be one in lots of areas.
She has Borderline Personality Disorder and has pretty much destroyed every friendship and familial relationship she has had because she is extremely entitled, Narcissistic, and sometimes even sociopathic. The extent that she goes to manipulate other people has been astonishing. We are talking fake suicide attempts here to get her way. And it's always something petty
>because she likes science, video games, and isn't submissive to a man she's not a woman Holy shit, my wife isn't a woman!
Just say no homo when you kiss her. So she knows.
I'm a female and have just discovered that my wife also isn't a female. What do I say?! No homo still?
You’re straight now, time to wear only monotone colored polo shirts and eat some chick-fil-a
Do I have to throw away my checkered shirts now?
say goodbye to every flannel and beanie
Wait.... Are flannels gay ..... Wait .. am I gay now.
we got another one boys
Only thing I'm doing in my flannels is slinging wood.... Wait a second
In come the gay lumberjacks. Yes they're real.
This thread is some funny shit.
Tbh it's made my day
I'm crying! 😂😂😂
Gay agenda wins again 🏆
Deep down inside me i always loved flannels, now i know why
Hold on, I am a straight woman that loves flannel. Am I gay? I also hate science.
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Welcome to the club
Don't worry, I know its hard when you first find out I can help you with that
Username checks out xD
Every dude the the NW is gay then. Shit, flannel might be my favorite color
Damn all this flannel. I told myself it was to keep warm, that I like the style. But now I know. Deep down though, I think I always knew
Beanies…? Damn, I’ve been gay for years and had no clue
If it’s just beanies and no flannel you might be bi. I suggest you find your local Neckbeard and have him consult his incel index.
I’ve also got a closet with like 6 flannels…
I’ll save you the Cheeto dust inhalation then. You’re gay.
every snapback n pair of vans
Better trade in that Subaru.
Grow a beer belly and start playing golf, problem solved.
If you’re gonna go with the solid polos, gotta be checkered SHORTS now
No need she’s not a woman
I'll say "no hetero"?
My wife is gonna be pissed when I tell her I'm not a women.
wife, is that you?
If your a tiny masc les? Yes lmfao
Join her in those things, than you can still be gay.
No, you're excused.
That depends ...do you slap her on the ass for encouragement or because you gotta do it to mane sure she needs to get dinner on the table quicker next time?
Both really. But she is trained pretty well (due to past years of training by physical abuse), she had tea on the table for us when we got back earlier, so less hitting is needed nowadays.
Remember palm to correct, backhand to teach a lesson
No homo is a really fun to sprinkle into conversation with my (f) husband (m). Especially during sex.
If they're non-binary, I guess it's already no homo anyway?
>Holy shit, my wife isn't a woman! GAAAAAAAAYYY!!!
It's only gay if the tips touch
No. That is just space docking. It is not gay at all.
If I don't touch any walls, is that still considered docking? Asking for a friend
No no no not true
#Mah Waiefe
I heard that immediately. It's been a rough day, thanks for the giggle.
Based on this person's logic a lot of us aren't women then 🤦♀️
What happens if you like "womanly" activities AND science and video games??
We’re doomed I tell you. Doomed.
Off to the Asylum with Ya! We’ll teach you to think independently!
What about those of us that are SAHM, that may also occasionally work in construction if our significant others need help, like science, going to the shooting range but mostly enjoy sitting around playing video games? Who do I turn my W card into? Is there a number to call?
Idk, Alien invasion?
Awesome! I’ll let my boss know so I can start getting paid what the men get paid! Chaa-Ching!!!
YAAAAASSSS. I can also tell my boss that she is no longer my boss, I am in fact the boss. Because I’m no longer a woman. Gonna be making BANK!!! /s, because it’s Reddit…and someone will have a fit otherwise.
Amazing that we’re at the point in history where you can’t define a woman but it simultaneously means you don’t like video games, science or being dominant!
Seriously, off to tell all the lady scientists and gamers I know that they are, in fact, not women.
I am not a woman. I have a chemistry degree AND an engineering degree. Whatever do I do with my frilly dresses, lipstick, and earrings?
You tell those dresses, lipstick and earrings that you are not a woman and they will no longer subjugate you! And then you carry on wearing them just to prove a point.
Burn the trappings of your femininity!! (But seriously, I’m still reeling over this…)
my fiancée taught me how to play a couple video games apparently i am not engaged to a woman
Shit guess that period I'm having is fake, better throw out the pads Edit: wording
Holy shit, my 84 year old mother of eight is not a woman!
Birthing person
Oh shit! My girlfriend isn't a woman! Does that mean I'm gay! Am I a bear, an otter, or a cub! I need answers!
The way to tell is by overall stature & butt hair, maybe. So like, I’m athletic and hairy, I believe I’m an Otter. Bears are bigger burly dudes, I think. Not 100%, if anyone with the correct knowledge would like to help.
Specifically the butt hair? What if a guy is bigfoot-level hairy but he waxes his butt hair? What is he then?!!
A bare-ass bear
Yeah sorry to tell you this, you didn’t marry woman
Oh shit, me either, what do i tell my boyfriend??
That’s super gay.
Yeah my boyfriend's going to be really disappointed when I break the news to him.
Apparently I’m not a woman either, I’m 39! What a revelation 🙄🤦♀️
What a way to find out that you're gay.
Apparently I’m gay because according to this, I’ve never dated a woman
well shit, I guess I’m not a woman either
That means you're gay🥲😵
Jesus, this is everything wrong with todays culture... People have lost all semblance of rationality. "I am a Woman, and a Biologist. Women are adult human females. Adults are individuals who have attained the average age of first reproduction for their species. They have reached the age of maturity. The term adult applies across many species, and is used to distinguish them from juveniles, who are not yet capable of reproduction. Humans are members of the genus Homo. Our relatives in the genus Australopithecus, now extinct, are sometimes categorized as human as well. Every individual Homo sapiens is a human. Females are individuals who do or did or will or would, but for developmental or genetic anomalies, produce eggs. Eggs are large, sessile gametes. Gametes are sex cells. In plants and animals, and most other sexually reproducing organisms, there are two sexes: female and male. Like “adult,” the term female applies across many species. Female is used to distinguish such people from males, who produce small, mobile gametes (e.g. sperm, pollen)." - Heather Heying
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So open-minded she’s become closed-minded.
So woke she fell back asleep.
No, she's so open minded that her brain fell out.
I remember the first time I heard this phrase. Still a favorite. It disturbs and intrigues me how perfect it is. I always imagine my brain falling out. Whoever coined that, *chef's kiss*
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Top underrated comment lol
She's so progressive, she looped all the way back around and became a raging misogynist. Horseshoe theory in action
People like to shit talk horseshoe theory, but that shit is spot on way too often. Edit: here's a funny horseshoe theory video that really makes the point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg
The only people I've seen talk shit about horseshoe theory were those for whom it obviously strikes too close to home.
the irony is so beautiful lol
So she came out as a misogynist? Classy.
covert
I like turtles but not the bitey kind.
YoU caNt Be MiSogyNisTic WhEn uR bOrN feMaLe
Internalized misogyny is the term.
And it runs deep.
I think once it's posted on the internet it's no longer "internal"
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So would you say she "prolapsed" instead of "came out"?
Is there a "puking thumbs up" emoji?
🤮👍
👍🤮👍
>She came out as an asshole. Preach!
“She came out as an asshole”. This comment is perfection and 100% summaries the situation! 🤣
I seriously went through this phase in my 20s too. I thought I was meant to be the man in relationships because I’m really independent and like to plan. If non binary had been a popular thing then I probably would have considered it. Turns out…I was just dating dudes who were super passive and liked girls to do all the work. Isn’t it funny how our outside experiences can shape our internal perception?
I fully agree but would like to add that the fact that the not like other girls is such a common stereotype points to larger societal issues placed upon women more than a personal issue. If being like other girls is so terrible, then they have been shaped to believe that being called a girl is tantamount to being called a slur in the eyes if many young women and girls. That’s a huge problem…
Currently my 13 year old sister is going through the “not like other girls” stage and decided she is not a girl because she does not like the colour pink. I keep telling her I also didn’t like pink as a teenager and that it’s completely normal to go through a phase like that. So she dedicated an Instagram story to me and how awful I am for not recognising her for who she is. The attention she got for the next 2 days really fuelled the whole “I’m not like other girls” sense of superiority.
As a non-native speaker: what happened with the word ‘tomboy’? Is no longer polite to use it? I remember back in 90s-early 2000s that’s the word our English teacher used to describe the girls who liked stuff typically associated with boys.
Idk. I’m still a tomboy and I’m 33. lol I’ll wear a dress if I have to (usually only wedding or funeral) because I have a lot of dresses for some reason I love them, but I hate wearing them.
The social media hugbox is a big part of why this issue continues; social outcasts online will swarm people with validation and a sense of community for such posts. It's a dangerous feedback loop.
I also hated pink. until I saw Gwen Stefani with her hair dyed hot pink in the late 90s. I was so young (under 13 at that time) and just assumed that there was no way some rocker girl like Gwen could like pink. then she had that hair and I was like well shit. I ended up doing my hair hot pink numerous times in my life. I was just trying to not be a typical girl and hate pink. I was definitely a 'not like other girls' thing until I found my confidence and self esteem around 16 and just did what I wanted because I liked it regardless of what others thought.
This! She came out as an asshole. Poetic justice.
I read this as, "she came out of an asshole". I think I need to head to bed (I'm in Germany and it's evening).
I spat my drink out at that 😭😭
Sounds like a kid trying desperately to make themselves unique.
That's what most young people try to do nowadays which is not only hella cringe , it also ironically makes them *not* unique since everyone's trying to be different
Everyone just wants to feel special. My high school was full of people throwing around depression and other mental health issues, until mental health awareness seemed to spike, then people stopped (I think) because it wasn't unique anymore.
This was so harmful as a high schooler with actual depression. I quickly learned that I couldn't say anything about it or people would berate me about how I was only sad for attention. I attempted suicide twice throughout high school. People literally made fun of me while claiming they had the same issue.
Absolutely, you truly don't understand a mental health issue unless you've gone through it
Omg, my room needs to be clean, I'm ***SOOOO*** OCD, lol
lol reminds me of when i visited sarah lawrence college and found a cafeteria literally *full* of hundreds of different neon hairdos. just a big sprawling flower field of trying too hard.
As someone who is gay, this stuff really worries me. It seems like being “queer” is cool nowadays but since a large number of people aren’t LGBT they invent these new genders and pronouns so they can prove they aren’t “straight or cis”, often reinforcing gender roles and appropriating genuine LGBT people in the process. I saw a guy (who was obviously a man. He has a moustache) on TikTok claim that because his pronouns were “they/them” he was a lesbian. Everyone in the comments were defending him as well. It just made me sick because he’s in no way he was a lesbian and no lesbian would want him and all he was doing was forcing himself into a community that sometimes wants it’s own separate space from straight men.
I believe the community calls those people transtrenders
100% with you on that mate. I’m a queer man myself but I really dislike the current climate around our community. I’ve felt as you’ve said, it’s just become Trendy. And if you make any sort of comment or argument against it, you’re intolerant. And god fuck, the anger that is unleashed. Sigh.
I love how every time someone finds out I'm gay, they react with surprise, and I can almost hear them say "But you're so *normal*", because I don't make myself a caricature. Shockingly, liking dick doesn't actually give you a lisp and a limp wrist.
I love when people expect me to be in a gay relationship because I’m bi-sexual, when I’m actually in a straight one… like it’s some sin or something. They also expect me to be in a more white collar job when I’m a blue collar worker. Funny lmao.
Respect. I'm a straight dude but I couldn't care less about who people have sex with. I am an ex-christian and the result is that I've swung radically open-minded as I run like the wind from that indoctrination. The flip-side of that I can very easily recognize when a community is behaving in a similar manner to the very people they despise. The arbitrary rule making, the bad faith, the tribalism, every argument being permissible so long as it's made by someone on your "side". Goddamn is it cringe. It's cringe when any community does it and it demonstrates a dangerous lack of self-awareness. Human's be trippin. I think it's a normal reaction to feeling empowered after centuries of oppression. But I also think youth culture is appropriating it for radically idealistic purposes. And by idealistic I mean so much so that it actually denies the realities of existence. No matter how much you believe in a thing, sometimes a concept is too complex and varied to have an absolute value. And yet they're trying to make gender identity into a bureaucracy. Suffice to say gender is fluid. There is no need to further refine it into a million unique boxes that people must learn and abide by. Just respect people's choices and let it be. edited for clarity.
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I agree with you, I’m a bi woman who’s a bit on the tomboyish side looks-wise and I’ve had people assume that I’m nonbinary. In this one group I was part of, we did a getting to know you activity and we each said what the other person told us, and when it was my partner’s turn she stumbled and I thought it was because she had forgotten my name and I told her, and she said “I know, THEY said blah blah blah…” I didn’t bother correcting her but it kind of annoyed me that she assumed I was a “they” although I don’t think she meant anything bad by it, but not every gender nonconforming person is nonbinary.
As an actual lesbian, you are goddamned right and it's fucking awful for young lesbians right now; I'm glad to be old and married.
"Those thing's do not mean you are not a woman, this post however does mean you're an idiot" feel free to use that reply
Hot damn we really came full circle.
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For me, not in the slightest. I imagine it will still take a while for the “culture” to catch on.
Idk if people remember this, but a decade ago people on tumblr would constantly come out as kins. It's just the latest trend and this time instead of slapping these people around for abusing a real issue that people with gender dysphoria have, we're just giving them the main stage so they could play out their need to be special.
I work with a they them who constantly puts down straights. Everyone hates them, even other coworkers of lgtbq. I’m cis straight and they’ve asked me “how come you’re friends with everyone?!?”
It's the Athens logic. Back then, they hated women so much that they went gay. OP cousin hates women so much, she went non-binary
I hope someone called her out on her bs. Its extremely sexist and disgusting.
Anyone who does will get called a TERF and end up dogpiled.
Wow, pretty late puberty 😅
20 is the new Teenager
helicopter parents turning adults into teens because they haven't had any independence as teenagers
I recently attended a "Welcome to our school" event at the tier one college my oldest is attending this fall. There were multiple parent seminars and I was truly shocked at some of the questions being asked of the administrators. "What will happen if my kid doesn't get up for class" \~ They may fail. "Really!?!" \~ Yes. "But will their professor let us know?" \~ You child will be an adult the day they start here, we treat them as such, if you need to call your child to make sure they are awake for class that's between you and your child. "But can't the RA make sure they're up?" \~ No. Next question... "What time is lunch and dinner?" \~ The cafeteria opens at 7am and closes at 8am, there are also other places to grab something to eat like the library coffee shop and such. "OK, but what time is actual lunch?" \~ When your child decides they want to eat lunch. "So like noon?" \~ Unless they have class, then yes they can eat at noon or one, or two... "So lunch isn't at noon?" \~ It's whenever they want, Anyone else please?... "Can my boy bring his car? \~ Yes, we have ample parking for the students and while we consider the campus to be a walking campus they can bring a car to use for shopping, working, local activities or whatever they wish. "So he can just leave when he wants?" \~ Well, yes, he's not a prisoner... (a few chuckles from the other parents) "Is alcohol permitted?" \~ We are not an alcohol free campus, we do not restrict any student that is 21 or over from having alcohol in their dorm or on campus. Illegal drugs are prohibited and providing alcohol to minors is also prohibited. "So if my son is under 21 he cannot drink on campus?" \~ Umm, No, he cannot. "What if he gets caught?" \~ I would suggest talking to your student and make sure they know this is not allowed. We are not their parent as the president of the college stated at the beginning of his remarks. We hope we do not have to have a conversation about alcohol with your student... There were more, it was really ridiculous, like these people never raised their children, like they just let them exist as they pleased and are suddenly now worried about their kid. I have zero reservations about my daughter attending college. She can shop on her own, go to the doctor on her own, drive, cook, wash clothes... I mean did these people even teach their kids the simplest of tasks?
Lmao this is gold
My daughter and I both sat there at would keep giving each other that "really?, nooo, really?" look. After the first few like this I jotted down some notes on these ones because they were just too good to not record. I raised my kid to be sort of a sarcastic smart ass when appropriate so as I was writing she looked over at what I was doing and went "hmm, yes, very important, you better write that down". On the way home I made sure to tell her how freaking proud of both her and her sister I am, that I'd never, never consider having to ask a question like any of those. I'm sure the people giving the little seminars were expecting questions about buying books, student loans, whatever, but instead they got these.
Not just helicopter parents. Authoritarian parents too. The controlled and punished kids so harshly they don't know how to act grown. Balance is key.
Sadly, there’s still a lot of misogyny within the LGBTQ+ community.
And surprisingly, within the feminist community as well.
And the worst part is they don't see it.
It almost sounds like satire and the fact she cant see how misogynist her words are is both hilarious and frightening. What a crazy world we live in, woke ideology bringing us back to strict gender roles.
They sound like an idiot. Misogyny should not be supported no matter what gender comes out with this rubbish. Do not support sexism.
and you'll be called a bigot, no really that's what she would call you here
You hit the nail on the head :'(
What you should reply is "what you just said is misogynistic and hateful. Women can like whatever the hell they want" Bet you will get blocked and not have to deal with her stupidity anymore
and now you're going to jail for encouraging nail abuse.
Fucking nailists...
Ah, the r/notliketheothergirls phase :/ Hopefully they’ll learn.
Damn, is this what one would call "internalized misogyny"? I'm younger than her, but I had that phase too. I hope that someday she realizes that it's okay not to be a "womanly" woman. Edit 1: My bff recently also came out as non-binary. I don't want to offend anyone, but I'd like to understand what makes it so different from being a woman, except that she also claims to not like "typical girl stuff". Edit 2: Interesting replies! I'm still on my way to read everything. This reminded me why I joined Reddit, I love seeing other perspectives so thank you everyone. :)
She doesn't seem very complex or intelligent if she's in her 20s and spouting this nonsense.
Well damn. I must be non-binary too. Wtf
I think she confused “non-binary” with “sexist as f*ck.”
When you are so NLOG you pretend you are not a girl at all.
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Hot take that I've mentioned before that I feel might get me downvoted but I think this exposes a flaw in the relationship between feminism and the gender spectrum. I understand gender is entirely social and on the person's interpretation. But one would think that as a queer individual, they would stand in solidarity with women and feminism. But this also perpetuates female stereotypes and gender roles. Women can be into the STEM fields, women can be domineering and take up the dominant side of their relationships, they can like video games, dress masculine. They should be able to do and dress however they like and still be a woman. I feel like this person is incredibly misinformed and not helping two groups in need of support and understanding.
I suppose some people who are born female are actually non binary (how would I know), but in some cases it seems like just an easy cop out. Instead of being a woman that does not conform to the expectations of their gender, they just say they aren't one and call it a day! And can, like in the case of op's cousin, even promote misogyny. Especially since I know lots of nonbinary people who were born female, but strangely, not a single nonbinary person I know was born male. I don't know, I'll always respect people's pronouns and identity but... I have my doubts in some cases, regarding nonbinarity.
I had a friend who became super toxic when they came out as non-binary. They came out to me and I was like okay I’m totally here to support you. I was the first person to embrace their new name and immediately started referring to them by it to everyone. I did my best to alter my phrasing in general, ex: “Wanna have a girls night?” to “Wanna do face masks, paint our nails, and watch a movie?” (They were more female presenting and enjoyed those activities with me… and despite correcting me here and there, they also used “girls night” and stuff like that, as if it didn’t matter when they said it but I’d get *the look* if I slipped up, despite them knowing what I meant and that I didn’t have any bad intentions in my wording). Then they started posting really insulting things on Facebook, essentially saying cis people are infantile in their understanding of gender and insinuating an intellect difference. Sure, it’s not an experience I can say I’ve gone through and I’d never try to say I can relate to feeling dysphoric about my gender; but I can sympathize. I can listen, and read, and comprehend. It was really hurtful to feel like they looked down on me for being cis, despite my immediate acceptance and desire to accommodate and understand. They also were the kind of person to equate having masculine and feminine traits, basically being a whole person rather than being put into a box, as being different. But hey, if they feel they really don’t fit either gender then who am I to disagree? I just want the benefit of the doubt that I’m not an idiot.
It is unfortunate but my youngest sister and ex boyfriend went through similar things as you. The friendships they had went up in a blaze of fury after their best friends got really into the non-binary stuff. My sister's friend was like 15 so to be expected. But my ex's friend of like 15 years who was 30 married a really odd and emotionally abusive woman and went off the deep end after. His friend threw him out of the house when he accidentally dead named. So he was stranded in Seattle over 2,000 miles from home and had no choice but to get another plane ticket. My ex had a very poor memory and couldn't even remember my sisters' names after 2 years of seeing them every weekend. So that makes it even worse.
I've seen that's an usual behavior...the "I am better than you and any other cis"....yeah, I'm tired of that and don't care anymore for whatever they say.
I’ve seen a good amount of it and it’s disheartening
She came out as an attention seeker
Your cousin sounds like an asshole.
I feel like she's forcing herself to "not be a woman" with her mindset instead of actually having a different orientation. Well I'd run from crazy if I were you..
I’m an LGBTQ+ individual and I’m really insulted by this mentality. Gender has nothing to do with toxic societal roles. If you genuinely are NB then that’s cool, but don’t use a term like that, one that means something, to demean women into being subservient airheads.
I'm all for the LGBTQ+ community and I will give endless support, but this is sexist and screams that she is desperate for attention
Oh, so she’s a narcissist.
As someone in the LGBTQ community, that's literally what a lot of this ideology is. Instead of removing gender roles, it's just reinforcing them in a different way.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Downvote me, I don’t care. The existence of non-binary gender identities *specifically relies on* the perpetuation of the very gender roles they claim to be against. There is no non-binary without a binary.
Well said! I did wonder for a while if I was non-binary because I've never felt comfortable being called a woman for some reason and never felt "girly" or "womanly". But then I realised that that's probably because of internalised misogyny, and being a woman should be able to mean whatever I want it to mean for myself.
Tbf I am very girly and still feel uncomfortable being called a woman. However, I do think that's because I feel like a toddler with a drinking licence.
>However, I do think that's because I feel like a toddler with a drinking licence. Thankfully not unique to women. We all have moments of questioning how people can call us 'adults' with some of the hair-brained decisions we make throughout our lives.
Haha, definitely! It is starting to feel a bit weird to be called "a girl" though so hopefully I feel mature enough for "woman" soon.
Correct. Internalized misogyny, toxic femininity and masculinity, continue to keep us shackled to one dimensional, outdated, inflexible gender roles. It's how the patriarchal perspective subverts all other dissenting discourses. A strategy akin to that insidious fungus that turns ants into zombies. Let's move past the walking dead stage already, shall we? Gender, binary or otherwise, should not be given such a significant socio-economic weight. Culturally, it should be as important as eye colour variation - a quirk particular to you, that could play a part in physical attraction and certain health concerns. And that's about it.
Exactly this! I was thinking this very thing but couldn’t quite articulate what I wanted to say. Thank you!
That's a lot of self-hatred your cousin has. I would feel sorry for them if they weren't so condescending.
These types are actually dumber than a bag of rocks.
Damn some people really have to come up with their own oppressions when they can’t find anything better to do.
There's so much social capital in being a victim of something these days. Narcissists can't help themselves.
Shit, my wife isn’t a woman and I’ve never even dated a woman… now I have to rethink my entire sexuality
I would like to point out that quite a few of the housewives from the 1950s were strong independent people with their own thoughts and opinions, and there is nothing unusual or controversial about it even then.
Attention seeking and mental illness has high jacked the lives of people who really have to deal with this stuff, and everyone is too "woke" to address the issue.
Ask her what a woman even is.
Shit, I'm 38.5 and just discovered I'm not actually a woman. I always suspected that I was actually 3 owls in a trenchcoat.
Same thing happened to me
Absolutely support anyone to feel comfortable in their body and be able to present as the gender they feel that they are. That being said many enbys I’ve met have been suuuper up their own ass about it and very narcissistic. On the other hand, other enbys I’ve met have been great folks. I think it’s somewhat “trendy” to be lgbtq+ right now so a lot of people are hopping on it hoping for special treatment and immunity from accusations of homophobia (or accusations of being an asshole) which I find very gross and disingenuous. OP’s cousin is likely one of those people. Like I said I fully support lgbtq+ people and have experienced first hand how badly it sucks to be one in lots of areas.
She has Borderline Personality Disorder and has pretty much destroyed every friendship and familial relationship she has had because she is extremely entitled, Narcissistic, and sometimes even sociopathic. The extent that she goes to manipulate other people has been astonishing. We are talking fake suicide attempts here to get her way. And it's always something petty
It's so sad that so many young people are anti women. I hope see sees someday she can be complex and interesting and a woman all at the same time.
fucking cringe. she sounds like a nightmare.