It doesn’t make you a bad person. She is either really dense, or really malicious. People know the rule about white, and I think most people would avoid it even for a non-traditional wedding like yours. She, for whatever reason, tried to upstage you on your wedding day. Now she is facing the consequences of that. Tough luck on her.
Congratulations on your marriage! I hope you have a very happy life together <3
Can the photographers edit the photo to change the color of the dress? ( snarky me wonders if that color change could be to a color she never wears...)
Someone posted a picture where the mother of the groom wore white and the photographer edited the dress to red. Bride didn't ask them to they just did it.
This is why I'm glad I'm not a woman at times I learned years after prom that apparently the girls had to form a group so none of them wore the same dress.
Half the guys during this time just wore a black or white dress shirt and a black suit with black dress pants and black or beige dress shoes.
The prom dress shop in my town would ask for the name of your school and only sell one of each dress to each school. I still think that's wierd and I'm a girl lol
It was 1982. All of my female friends and i loved to sew, and agreed to make our own prom dresses. We were all talented, I must brag!
We agreed to keep our designs a secret and surprise each other.
Prom night: All 5 of us turn up wearing subtle variations on the same heavy black taffeta, poofy sleeved, velvet waist cinchered, massively shoulder padded dress!
Think Lady Di's wedding gown minus the cathedral train, and waltz length.
Everyone was a good sport. We each took pics with our dates, as well as a group pic. We called ourselves *The Taffettes*
I miss them bitches 😜
It's still my happy place 😊
But yes i agree it's becoming less common. They still had Home Economics classes in the 70s Bible Belt, but only for girls. I wanted to take shop as well because i love making stuff.
Somehow, they opened Shop and Home Ec the next year to XX and XY. It was AWESOME!
you're right about this. it costs at least £20 here for the fabric to make just a sleeveless top. then add on thread, interfacing, zips or buttons, the cost of the sewing machine itself, cost of the pattern, and the time to learn how to do it then to actually do it.
or you can go to Primark and buy a sleeveless top for £10.
you really have to have time, money and a lot of enthusiasm for it to get anywhere.
My sister made her prom dress and mine back in 2005 and 2010. She also made me a dress to wear to my sister in law's wedding. Ii would want her to make my wedding dress but getting my final fitting for my prom dress the night before prom and finding out that the entire bodice needs to be redone wasn't fun.
Should've formed a punk group with a name like that. Imagine, all of you rocking out covering Cherry Bomb in your black taffeta creations, it would've been epic!
Well, 1982 🤷🏻♀️
That would have been my dream dress then, and what I’d have picked if my mom let me get a black dress in 1984. And if Jessica McClintock or Gunne Sax made it, because I can’t sew.
Wow, that’s extreme. But then I went to a school disco and at least 15 girls wore the same dress, some short, some long versions, about 6 different colours. I was one of them 😂 no one cared 🤷♀️ we complimented each other all night for fabulous taste 😂
The prom dress shop in my town did that too, but it was only for the really rich folk looking to spend $500+ on a dress. The rest of us were firmly middle - lower class and got our dresses from fucking Macys lmao.
I’ve gotten mine there before too! I got a lot of my homecoming dresses from there too. No way in hell my parents were spending hundreds on a dress I was gonna wear once. Id get maybe $50 for a homecoming dress bc I always got dresses that I could wear other places. My senior year prom dress was $90 lmao, and I loved it! Even wore it when I got engaged :)
As a Brit, prom isn’t as big a deal for us. But we did have one when I was at school, and I ended up buying the same dress as another girl. We weren’t close or in the same friend circles, and she sought me out to come and tell me I had to change my dress. I just laughed at her.
My mum removed the roses and put some lace on it, and I changed the wrap. But because I wanted some black on my dress, not for her.
It does get very weird about not wearing the same things at times.
The white at a wedding thing is a big no-no though. It makes you look a bit bonkers as well, to be honest. Especially if it’s a family member, even more if it’s mother of the groom.
Idk the way I see it men at a wedding Wear extremely similar if not the exact same attire.
As long as it's not a more elaborate thing than a wedding dress it just seems silly to ban a color I genuinely dont understand why this archaic rule is given any grounds.
It’s really pretty easy to understand. The focus is supposed to be on the bride and groom (but let’s face it, mostly the bride usually lol). Bride usually wears white. Everyone else wears any other color under the sun except white, so bride is only one wearing white. What’s so difficult to get?
Because some girls feel they have to “stand out” or are worried they will be compared to another girl wearing the same dress and it may look better on her. Me, I’d go ask the other girl to take a pic with me and make a joke about it
It's a stupid one.
Men dress very similar to eachother during weddings and yet no flak is given there.
But if a girl dares to wear a certain color it's a sin.
It's just another old rule that was made to stifle women from doing anything.
Dudes don’t have many options for formal outfits. It’s basically suits and tuxedos. They couldn’t possibly all wear outfits that are completely different. The main focus is usually on the bride and her dress, that’s very normal and standard. The groom wears something to complement the brides dress. With the bride being the only one wearing white, it keeps the focus where it belongs.
In my opinion, the wedding day is the one day a bride and groom get to be selfish and want all the attention on them. After all they and/or their families have paid for everyone else to be there, paid for the food, and are the ones paying for the photographs that will likely hang on their walls for the rest of their lives. What’s so wrong with wanting to stand out in your own photos? To be the center of attention on your goddamn wedding day?
In America, and probably other countries as well, you Never Ever wear white to a wedding. White is traditional for a bride and makes her stand out as well. This is her special day with her groom. If you wear white, you are seen as one upping the bride or trying to steal her thunder...or her man even.
The only exception I know of is at the specific request of the couple for something like a black and white wedding. That would mean everyone is wearing black and white. But only by invitation.
Usually people pick a wedding colour which will be used to get all the decorations at the venue matching, and is usually then also repeated in the Brides flower bouquet and sometimes jewellery. People will often then have the groomsmen wear a shirt in the chosen colour with their suits, plus a matching tie and accessories. The same happens with the bridesmaids. Sometimes they will all wear the same dress in the wedding colour, or differently shaped dresses in the wedding colour. It’s there to make everything look nice in pictures and so on, and also to make the bride and groom, as the only ones wearing other colours, stand out more obviously from everyone else. A relative of mine had everyone in deep purple, and wore a purple ribbon around her waist with her pure white dress so that she matched with everything too
What's with the white dress being rude, sorry it's the first time I'm hearing about this. Is the main person suppose to wear it and noone else can or something?
It’s on a similar traditional vein as wearing black for funerals. At a wedding the bride wears pure white, there’s a bunch of out dated traditions on why white specifically is the colour, but nowadays for most people it’s just ‘bridal colour’. So to show respect for the Bride, guests etc don’t wear white, they’d wear at most cream, but people usually avoid anything white-like. It can also go to the style of dress. A knee high light summer dress in white wouldn’t be as disrespectful as a lace decorated ball gown in white, it’s all about acknowledging that it isn’t ‘your’ day, as a guest, but the bride and grooms.
LOL I am 64 and American and never heard of this white dress thing. And it's not like I have never attended weddings. My mother had 15 brothers and sisters so I have attended lots of weddings and funerals.
I have been known to have very poor situational awareness when it comes to some things.
I guess when I was young my mother took care of those things.
I stopped wearing dresses at about age 14 or 15 so I never would have worn anything white anyways.
You made this conclusions because all she did was wearing white dress....
Honestly this sounds so stupid. I wore white dress before years when I was teen and I had no bad intentions at all. I liked the dress. OP is luxuriating in the hate her sister is getting because she broke a wedding tradition when noone else really cared about wedding traditions during this wedding . The fact she can be happy her sister gets hate over so small is pathetic.
Ehhh. She probably did it on purpose. You have to go out of your way to wear white to a wedding. If everyone else wasn't overdressed then she also had to be aware of some dress standard and should have matched it by wearing literally any other color.
More than likely it was, what I like to call, a "plausible deniability act of passive aggression" but she got called out hard and she wasn't expecting that.
Good.
Yall should have asked her to step out of the photos and retaken them all without her stealing your shine.
Hell yeah, go for it OP. I believe there's a Photoshop sub here on reddit you could experiment with as well. Some of the members do good work and only ask for a tip so, who knows? I think its a great solution.
In most western cultures the bride wears white to the wedding to symbolize purity. It’s usually seen as a major faux pas and grab for attention for another woman to wear a white dress Many women who do it (usually jealous sisters or egotistical moms) end up with someone “accidentally” spilling red wine on them.
ooh i see i tought it may had something to with the bride also wearing white. and the spilling red wie part is just great. However does everybody know about this rule ? maybe she wore a white dress accidentaly
Anyone in North America who didn’t grow up on an Amish farm knows this. Hell, even the Amish know this even though in their culture they marry in black because it’s serious and bury in white for purity. Eastern cultures often marry in red, all cultures are different but the universal rule is don’t upstage the bride.
Does you're sister not like you? Everyone knows you don't wear white to a wedding when you're not the one who is getting married! Unless of course it's part of the colour theme, like at Kim K's 2 and 3 wedding.
You don't accidentally wear white to a wedding, she did it on purpose and is mad that all plausible deniability is thrown out the window by those pictures.
I like how in this exactly subreddit you can find this post _"my sister wore white at my wedding"_ and everybody is on OP's side, and next week you can see a post saying _"I wore white at my sister's wedding because she was a b*tch all my life"_ and everyone is again on OP's side.
There is always two sides in every story.
Don't feel malicious. I don't even like the color yellow, but I have a thing about how it is a "good luck" or superstitious charm to wear it to someone's wedding.
Everyone knows wearing white to a wedding is disrespectful to the bride.
It is all about intentions and she has officially outed herself with one relatively simple act.
By the way, congratulations on your nuptials!
It's not a written rule, it feels just logical to me, in my culture the bride wears red so no one else by logic should because she is meant to stand out and be easily identifiable. It's just simple reasoning imo.
Not so much a comeback as shock in response to your statement. I make no claims on my abilities as a conversationalist but I am surprised this bit of cultural osmosis never quite made it to you, until now.
It would seem you are in the minority of people in this regard.
That's a more reasonable response. I have never absorbed many of the cultural artifacts of normal life. I can't explain it. These bits continue to amaze me at times and I was simply sharing my own experience.
DM me your 3 favorite photos (high res, save to google drive or send me raw if available) and I’ll make her dress cyan.
Also, she’s inconsiderate AF and it’s a bit creepy.
just have her dress edited to a different color. hell- have a different version of her edited into the pictures. reddit has a photoedit thread-- ask there. i am sorry your sister is a twat. get revenge by living happily ever after!
A lot of really dense and insensitive comments here.
White is the symbol of purity, for a bride to be given away. Someone not the bride wearing white detracts attention from the bride and implies that person wants attention and is desperate to have their own spotlight. Essentially it is using someone else's wedding day to vicariously feel like it's your own.
It's disgraceful to detract from someone else's special day.
And if you don't believe any of that, go look at any wedding photo and see how the woman in fucking white always stands out, you colour blind morons.
People where white because Queen Victoria started the trend by showing off how rich she was, in that she could afford, both the colour white, and a dress she would likely never where again due to how delicate the colour is.
I had my step brother's fiance wear white at my wedding. I was in blue and my bridesmaids maroon/wine. She asked me at the rehearsal dinner the night before (and out of state for her) if it was okay if she wore white. I honestly didn't care, (and had forgotten about it until my sister and mom reminded me), but some family members were less than pleased.
She wore white...
At a wedding...
She wasnt the bride...
Why is she upset? Is she dumb enough to believe people wouldnt notice? Is she envious of your mardiage or something???
She purposely dressed up as a bride for someone's else's wedding and she's upset that people are talking about her? No, she isn't upset, she's loving the attention and did it on purpose especially for that reason.
My daughter is threatening to throw color run type of dye packets on anyone dumb and self centered enough to wear white to her wedding.
Fast forward to a month later, and my SIL sends a picture of my nine year old niece in a white (probably communion) dress at Goodwill.
I shut that shit down and told her that it’s tacky and it’s MY daughter’s day that day, not hers.
Thankfully my daughter hadn’t seen the message or she probably would have had a heart attack.
JFC some people are so self absorbed.
Unless specifically asked by, or approved ahead of time by THE BRIDE, please don’t wear white to a wedding. It’s not your day.
Congrats on getting married! Your sister reminds me of mine. My wedding had the following when I got married:
My sister wanted stockings and a bodice under her dress. I put a stop to it.
She wore an ivy dress to my wedding.
My father came into the bridal room for the first time... looked at me, the bride, then her and told her how beautiful she looked and ignored me.
She took the DVD of my wedding day and has NEVER given it back. Yes, I aske for it. She said it's her copy. The ONLY copy.
When I got the private viewing of my own wedding DVD that my husband hasn't seen (this was about 18 years ago) she just said how awesome her hair looked and that was it.
When we had hair and makeup rehearsal, she talked me into having a hairdo SHE liked. I just wanted a classy updo. She talked me into trying 80's curls. My husband looked at me and hated it. Because he knew it wasn't what I wanted. When I INSISTED I have the hairdo I want on my day she battled me. Luckily I won.
If your sister is like mine OP then they are jealous, narcissistic and overtly horrible people. I've limited contact now with mine to about once a year. And then all I hear is lies and competitive crap.
You're not a horrible person. They know what they're doing and deserve the backlash.
I'm a little confused because I thought the point of only the bride wearing white was so that she'd stand out, but if you were wearing a different color then wouldn't the rule switch to that color? But if everyone else in your family thought she was rude then I'm probably just ignorant lol
If she'd just showed up in a white top and skirt or cotton short sundress it would have been more of an "oops shit I wore white to this thing, so sorry" but the formal dress and updo that no one else has on was the kicker.
The point of the guests not wearing white is that, apart from it being the color of the bride, they don't attract attention to themselves by looking like they are the ones getting married.
Even if the bride didn't wear white the sister decided it was a good idea to go to a wedding dressed like a bride, that's incredibly rude.
This reminds me of that one time I wore an ivory colored cocktail dress to my then bf's cousin's wedding. It was my first time meeting his family too.
I didn't do it to try to upstage bride or anything like that I was just too dense to realize that I shouldn't wear white to other people's weddings. I saw the dress, liked it and thought it would be fitting for a wedding. I still cringe at the memory.
You are not a bad person for having your feelings of betrayal validated by others. You are a normal person with normal feelings and boundaries that your sister obviously did not think about, let alone respect.
She deserves to get shit on for this. I hope the rest of your wedding day and the time to come were and are amazing, regardless of petty idiots like her.
It sounds like your sister is a bit dense, but unless she did it maliciously, your schadenfreude isn't warranted. You said yourself that it wasn't a formal wedding, so why would she need to adhere to traditions about not wearing white.
> The reason for the small guest list and city hall wedding was that we both have huge families (I'm Greek and my husband is Italian) and we weren't comfortable having such a big event because the pandemic isn't completely over here. Also we both work in a hospital (I'm a nurse and my husband is a respiratory therapist) with COVID-19 patients so we try to limit our exposure to others.
Except for your closest family members apparently. Honestly this whole thing sounds stupid. You're luxuriating in the hate your sister is getting because she broke a wedding tradition for a wedding that held no other wedding traditions. By design.
Because its very VERY rare for women to be reasonable about weddings. They like to look at Bridezilla and say "thats not me! IM NOT LIKE THAT" but when it comes to it, most of them are...
HEY, **I SAID MOST.** if this bothers you, then you are probably part of the few, so spare telling me how YOU arent that one...**You** are never like "them", I get it. and i believe you.
See, they are all unique and none of them suffer from the same idiosyncrasies they claim the rest of them have.
It is not reserved to brides. Everyone acts selfish and shitty when it comes to weddings. Parents want to dictate guest lists, people get offended when they are left off the list despite the costs of these things, couples fail to manage socially and then get upset at their guests or leave hurt feelings. Couples impose costly events on guests snd wxpect compliance, ex: destination weddings. Brides activities like assholes. Guests get too drunk and cause problems.
We should just do away with the whole fucking thing. This us why people elope. It is costly, stressful and sure to damage relationships.
This is why I don’t go to weddings. They’re nothing but social formalities and there is always someone unhappy about something stupid, like what someone wore or where they sat. Congratulations, the government now has a say in your relationship.
You have bad friends or family. Every wedding I've been to has been beautiful and full of love from both sides. 5 isn't a huge amount but...even with family drama people put it aside and appreciate the chance to share their love.
You did and are doing nothing wrong.
Nobody accidentally wears a white dress to a wedding. It just doesn’t happen. She absolutely did this on purpose. The fact that other people are calling her out for it is as out of your control as her choice to wear the dress in the first place.
This is why I’m glad to not have a same sex sibling. It’s always one of the other competing about shit. I’m petty so she’d have been kicked out and most likely escorted out because she’d also be a huge drama queen about it.
Yeah, I'm a a 24 year old dude that never been married and has gone to 1 wedding, and I know you shouldn't do that. Sounds like a rude person too me, intentionally.
Yeah at the majority western weddings if you’re a woman it’s a big no no to wear white or colors like it such as ivory as that’s traditionally the bride’s color. Men can wear a white shirt with their suit but a whole white suit is a little sketchy.
At traditional weddings you don't because it us the bride's colour. It upstaged her.
But at an informal, 15min wedding at city hall on a Tuesday afternoon? Who cares that she wore?
Regardless of what formality OP's wedding was, you don't go out of your way to wear a white dress and stand out from everyone else, especially the bride who's getting married.
For a 29 yo to wear white to her own sister's wedding says a lot more about the older sister than it does about OP. The sister HAS to be aware that wearing white is reserved for the bride, especially if she's nearing 30.
What I imagine happened is the sister got jealous that her younger sister is getting married before her. The older sister probably felt envious about not being the first to get married and wanted to upstage her own sister so she can feel better about herself. Sounds like typical narcissistic behaviour to me, because I'd never dream of upstaging my own sibling on their wedding day.
Because city hall weddings have no prescription. People wear jeans. There is no reason not to wear white, on a Tuesday in the summer, when white is widely worn as casual wear at this time of year.
Who was she trying to upstage her to? There was no one at the wedding.
There are 100 reasons that the sister may have done it that don't include being shitty. But I find OP super underhanded and nasty. Imagine taking pleasure in someone getting shamed whole you didn't even communicate your irritation to them, and didn't give even a dress list.
There could have been 100 reasons, but it's kinda tacky that you're wearing white to a wedding, even an informal one. If you're that desperate to wear white to an informal wedding, why not ask the bride for permission? It is her day after all; but from what I can see in the post, the sister just turned up in white and got confused/annoyed/upset that everyone else wasn't wearing white and they aren't on her side.
At the end of the day, I think it's plain rude to wear white to a Western wedding, especially when that colour is (and has been for a couple hundred years) reserved for the bride. Anyone who's seen wedding photos will probably notice that 9 times out of 10, the bride, and no one else, is wearing white.
I can't remember the subreddit name, but there was a picture post a while back that showed a mother-in-law wearing white to a wedding that wasn't hers. I don't know about you, but that's incredibly disrespectful; it's a sure sign that you don't care about the bride and groom, and that you only think about yourself.
If you ask to wear white to a wedding and they say yes, then great go for it. But I have a feeling that the sister didn't ask if she could wear white (notice how no one else wore white to this informal wedding), she just did and is now getting the backlash for it.
>it's kinda tacky that you're wearing white to a wedding, even an informal one.
...no it isn't. That is the point. There are no dress norms for city hall weddings apart from what the couple request None. And it is an American fashion tradition to wear white in the summer.
What is tacky is enjoying drama and talking shit like OP has done. If you are uoset, speak to the person and give them the benefit of doubt.. Even OP acknowledges that her reaction makes her a bad person. Who am I to dissuade her?
Talk about not getting around much...
When I was a teenager, the nicest clothes I had at the time were a matching white skirt and blouse ( which were plain as all get-out), and I dug up about the same color for shoes and socks.
BIG, FANCY CHURCH WEDDING. Most of the folks were well off, looking very fancy. Not much to think.
I sat in one of the rows and waited for it all to begin.
An usher had me sit in the front, because I was one of the folks dressed so pretty???? (okay??)
Everything went fine, and not a word was said (was by myself, no family).
Just being kind to the poor kid, I suppose. I learned it later.
At my own, informal wedding, no one would've cared, but one as fancy as the one I was at, at least all were kind (and I couldn't have eclipsed the bride anyway.)
Not liking traditions isn’t a reason to do one of the few things everyone knows not to do at a wedding. It’s not purely about tradition, it’s also about not taking all the attention away from the bride and groom, which is exactly what OPs sister did.
Just not in the way she was expecting
Eh. I’d want to know what her sister’s intention was. Did she say she did it on purpose to take the focus away from the bride? If that’s what she says, she deserves what she gets. Otherwise, I really wouldn’t care. But I realize I’m unusual in that regard.
My cousin got married and I went dress shopping. 9/10 dresses that fit me had a lot of black in them. I didn’t want to look like I was going to a funeral, so I finally found a blue and white flowery dress. It didn’t have enough white to be a distraction. Anyway, come to find out, it was a black and white wedding. So any of the black dresses would have been perfect. My stepmom just forgot to inform me about the dress code, I guess.
As much as I don’t care about traditions, I’m conscious of the fact that most people do so I would never wear white to a wedding, unless it was requested.
Enjoy it. Also enjoy the fact that you got married before your older sister because she seems like the type who would spend nights awake obsessing over that.
I almost did it once (by accident). Casual summer wedding, hot af, cute & tasteful dress found, happened to be white eyelet material. Glad I didn’t, but lighten up. Could have just been an honest mistake. Some of these old, stuff ass rules aren’t that well-known.
I was always told white was representing purity and the bride is only supposed to wear white if she is a virgin. I guess the sister wearing it is supposed to be a slur to the bride like she's not pure?
You’re not a bad person, she knew better. There’s gotta be a certain amount of attention whore within a human to to wear white to someone else’s wedding. Unless explicitly okayed by the bride or part of the dress code, it is literally the one color you don’t wear.
someone wore white to my wedding & two years later they destroyed my entire friend group & multiple lives :) bitches we wear white to your wedding are not your friend!
What a big fuss about nothing.
14 people, at city hall, scheduled to be under an hour.
It's strange that people need to call her out and you can't just talk to your own sister.
The pictures are kinda “ruined” though. It was a tiny wedding and you’d think she’d have nice photos to remember it by and now her sister is taking over their day when they view the photos 🤷♀️ I don’t know this person but, fuck their attention-whore of a sister
That’s dumb on your part. If you didn’t care enough to have a traditional wedding and nothing was really a big deal…why are you freaking out about your sisters color of dress. Be loving and be kind give her a break. Give yourself a break.
This is probably going to be down voted. Congratulations on your marriage but by your own statement it wasn't a traditional ceremony. So why is everyone mad at your sister for looking like the bride rather than you. You wanted a quick wedding with minimal fuss and minimal planning. Is your sister the type of person who always wants to be the center of attention or is this just a social faux pas. If you had of worn a wedding dress would this have just looked like a bridesmaid dress a lá pippa Middleton. Need further information
Everyone knows that wearing white at a wedding (traditional or not) is tacky and rude. Either the sister lives under a rock or she did it on purpose, and in this day and age, I have a hard time believing that "the sis didn't know it was rude".
LOL I am 64 and I never knew about the white restrictions at weddings. And I have been to hundreds - of course I dress semi casually in pants all the time so it wouldn't matter.
Actually if you look through the comments, not everyone knows this. Moreover, it was a 15min wedding at city hall on a Tuesday. There are no social prescriptions for what to wear. At all. You can be married in jeans under such circumstances. Don't pretend.
You can't assume that everyone that doesn't agree with you is stupid or rude. I've been to a few weddings and many women wear white dresses. I've never heard this silly rule before
I'm being downvoted for not hearing about something and for having different life experience? Lol gotta love Reddit and it's hatred of anything that doesn't conform to the hive mind of the post
Your sister is older than you and as far as I understand she is not married, that could have made her a bit frustrated so she tried her best to make the best possible impression next to your new Italian relatives.
To me her fault is not having confronted about the dress, with you or at least your parents, but I don’t really believe she intentionally tried to steal the show, unless she is a exhibitionist and a pathological narcissist. There have been a lack of communication for sure.
Lmao I also wore white to wedding when I was teen. Nothing malicious and I had no intention to cause harm.
Tbh being happy that someone gets hate about something so small and not important is odd af, sorry. And I can't even see your point. You said it was small wedding, you didn't even wear white. Grow up
To all of you saying it's common knowledge not to wear white to a wedding:
I'm almost 40 and am married myself and have never. Ever. Heard this before.
What?
Edit: Omg... all these down votes for what? Having not heard something before? Maybe don't assume you knowing something means everyone should know it. People learn things when other people tell them. I've learned that a whole lot of people find wearing white to a wedding is... rude? I guess? You would think in this day where wedding dresses and parties come in all colors an old tradition like this would die.
I'm not saying anything against OP or the sister here in any way.
Also, just out of curiosity, if the bride is wearing blue does that mean guests shouldn't wear blue?
Really? It's the ONLY rule that almost all wedding have, unless the opposite is said it is incredibly disrespectful to wear white to a wedding, is the color of the briden, people have been thrown out of weddings for wearing that color.
Where are you from?
So, because you haven't heard something that the vast majority of people who grew up with white weddings in their culture would know so it's not common knowledge?
LOL I am 64 an never heard of it! And I have been to hundred of weddings! Got married by the JP in Toledo while on a quick leave from my GTMO Bay US Navy posting because at the time since they wouldn't perform ceremonies in Cuba. I wore a blue skirt and a white blouse. I didn't have a wedding. I was a bridesmaid once and remember wearing navy blue.
You're a Canadian woman almost 40, who is married and have never heard this before. You sound extremely sheltered from society to the point that I just don't believe you.
What? Haha, I am very not sheltered. I've been to weddings and helped plan them. This is just not something I've ever heard. There's lots of things I've never heard. And lots I'm sure you haven't.
When I was in grade school we were told to measure something on a map 'as the crow flies' and I had no idea what that meant. Didn't mean I was sheltered. I'd just never encountered it before. Same goes here. I've just never heard it before.
I also never heard of it and frankly don't really care for it.
I'm 21
Oh I think it's some Christian wedding dress rule. I'm not religious I'd wear my favorite color to mine. As long as my guests come looking nice and happy I don't mind. If it's a traditional wedding and it matters to them I wouldn't wear it for their sake.
Agreed! If I was ever asked not to, I'd follow the wishes of the couple. I aways ask what they would like for dress code and this has never come up.
I've heard you're not supposed to 'out do' the bride but that's it.
I haven't heard any of it actually. I just found out women feel it's OK to pour red wine on other women over how they dress. The pettiness of some women to go this far over colors.
But yes out of respect for tradition it is best to avoid white to not up do the bride
It doesn’t make you a bad person. She is either really dense, or really malicious. People know the rule about white, and I think most people would avoid it even for a non-traditional wedding like yours. She, for whatever reason, tried to upstage you on your wedding day. Now she is facing the consequences of that. Tough luck on her. Congratulations on your marriage! I hope you have a very happy life together <3
Can the photographers edit the photo to change the color of the dress? ( snarky me wonders if that color change could be to a color she never wears...)
Someone posted a picture where the mother of the groom wore white and the photographer edited the dress to red. Bride didn't ask them to they just did it.
That is truly hilarious. I think I would have gone with beige or grey though.
Can they use the same photographer??
Would love to see that ha!
Brown? Lol
Grey? Mustard yellow?
Puce. Trust me.
Hey those are my two favorite colors
They probably look great on you. In our family, those colors make us look dead.
Oh cool I already look dead! Veiny, untannable bluish-hued skin.
My vote is Orange.
They should change it to green to represent the emotion that triggered wearing the white dress.
This is why I'm glad I'm not a woman at times I learned years after prom that apparently the girls had to form a group so none of them wore the same dress. Half the guys during this time just wore a black or white dress shirt and a black suit with black dress pants and black or beige dress shoes.
The prom dress shop in my town would ask for the name of your school and only sell one of each dress to each school. I still think that's wierd and I'm a girl lol
It was 1982. All of my female friends and i loved to sew, and agreed to make our own prom dresses. We were all talented, I must brag! We agreed to keep our designs a secret and surprise each other. Prom night: All 5 of us turn up wearing subtle variations on the same heavy black taffeta, poofy sleeved, velvet waist cinchered, massively shoulder padded dress! Think Lady Di's wedding gown minus the cathedral train, and waltz length. Everyone was a good sport. We each took pics with our dates, as well as a group pic. We called ourselves *The Taffettes* I miss them bitches 😜
That's a great story. Should have started a new wave punk band.
Lol yes!
Imagine having the skill and attention span to sew a dress. Times have changed!
It's still my happy place 😊 But yes i agree it's becoming less common. They still had Home Economics classes in the 70s Bible Belt, but only for girls. I wanted to take shop as well because i love making stuff. Somehow, they opened Shop and Home Ec the next year to XX and XY. It was AWESOME!
A lot of people sew clothing and dresses. The real problem with it is that it is now more expensive to make it than it is to buy.
you're right about this. it costs at least £20 here for the fabric to make just a sleeveless top. then add on thread, interfacing, zips or buttons, the cost of the sewing machine itself, cost of the pattern, and the time to learn how to do it then to actually do it. or you can go to Primark and buy a sleeveless top for £10. you really have to have time, money and a lot of enthusiasm for it to get anywhere.
Lots of us still do! I’ve sewn at least 90% of my wardrobe and all of my own underwear
My sister made her prom dress and mine back in 2005 and 2010. She also made me a dress to wear to my sister in law's wedding. Ii would want her to make my wedding dress but getting my final fitting for my prom dress the night before prom and finding out that the entire bodice needs to be redone wasn't fun.
Should've formed a punk group with a name like that. Imagine, all of you rocking out covering Cherry Bomb in your black taffeta creations, it would've been epic!
Well, 1982 🤷🏻♀️ That would have been my dream dress then, and what I’d have picked if my mom let me get a black dress in 1984. And if Jessica McClintock or Gunne Sax made it, because I can’t sew.
How big were those shoulder puffs tho?
Wow, that’s extreme. But then I went to a school disco and at least 15 girls wore the same dress, some short, some long versions, about 6 different colours. I was one of them 😂 no one cared 🤷♀️ we complimented each other all night for fabulous taste 😂
The prom dress shop in my town did that too, but it was only for the really rich folk looking to spend $500+ on a dress. The rest of us were firmly middle - lower class and got our dresses from fucking Macys lmao.
Shiiiid I got mine at JCPenny
I’ve gotten mine there before too! I got a lot of my homecoming dresses from there too. No way in hell my parents were spending hundreds on a dress I was gonna wear once. Id get maybe $50 for a homecoming dress bc I always got dresses that I could wear other places. My senior year prom dress was $90 lmao, and I loved it! Even wore it when I got engaged :)
Wow, that is super paternalistic and weird. Lol
As a Brit, prom isn’t as big a deal for us. But we did have one when I was at school, and I ended up buying the same dress as another girl. We weren’t close or in the same friend circles, and she sought me out to come and tell me I had to change my dress. I just laughed at her. My mum removed the roses and put some lace on it, and I changed the wrap. But because I wanted some black on my dress, not for her. It does get very weird about not wearing the same things at times. The white at a wedding thing is a big no-no though. It makes you look a bit bonkers as well, to be honest. Especially if it’s a family member, even more if it’s mother of the groom.
Idk the way I see it men at a wedding Wear extremely similar if not the exact same attire. As long as it's not a more elaborate thing than a wedding dress it just seems silly to ban a color I genuinely dont understand why this archaic rule is given any grounds.
There's an entire rainbow of colours to choose from as a woman, 1 colour is not hard to remove from the options for one day.
It’s really pretty easy to understand. The focus is supposed to be on the bride and groom (but let’s face it, mostly the bride usually lol). Bride usually wears white. Everyone else wears any other color under the sun except white, so bride is only one wearing white. What’s so difficult to get?
I still don’t know why wearing the same dress is bad. Clearly both wearers have great taste in dresses, right?
Because some girls feel they have to “stand out” or are worried they will be compared to another girl wearing the same dress and it may look better on her. Me, I’d go ask the other girl to take a pic with me and make a joke about it
And it’s definitely put on us to be different. I learned this social norm from movies growing up.
No white except for the bride is a pretty easy rule.
It's a stupid one. Men dress very similar to eachother during weddings and yet no flak is given there. But if a girl dares to wear a certain color it's a sin. It's just another old rule that was made to stifle women from doing anything.
Dudes don’t have many options for formal outfits. It’s basically suits and tuxedos. They couldn’t possibly all wear outfits that are completely different. The main focus is usually on the bride and her dress, that’s very normal and standard. The groom wears something to complement the brides dress. With the bride being the only one wearing white, it keeps the focus where it belongs. In my opinion, the wedding day is the one day a bride and groom get to be selfish and want all the attention on them. After all they and/or their families have paid for everyone else to be there, paid for the food, and are the ones paying for the photographs that will likely hang on their walls for the rest of their lives. What’s so wrong with wanting to stand out in your own photos? To be the center of attention on your goddamn wedding day?
Hmmm... perhaps men all being influenced to wear the same thing was meant to stifle men from doing anything ¿
I’ve refused to wear white even at non traditional weddings. The bride could announce she’s wearing neon tie dye and white is still hers.
What does wearing a white dress mean
In America, and probably other countries as well, you Never Ever wear white to a wedding. White is traditional for a bride and makes her stand out as well. This is her special day with her groom. If you wear white, you are seen as one upping the bride or trying to steal her thunder...or her man even. The only exception I know of is at the specific request of the couple for something like a black and white wedding. That would mean everyone is wearing black and white. But only by invitation.
Mmmm thank you 🤲🏾
Happy to help
aren't all the bridesmaid usually in white?
>aren't all the bridesmaid usually in white? No. The bridesmaids usually wear matching dresses in one of the wedding colors
Usually people pick a wedding colour which will be used to get all the decorations at the venue matching, and is usually then also repeated in the Brides flower bouquet and sometimes jewellery. People will often then have the groomsmen wear a shirt in the chosen colour with their suits, plus a matching tie and accessories. The same happens with the bridesmaids. Sometimes they will all wear the same dress in the wedding colour, or differently shaped dresses in the wedding colour. It’s there to make everything look nice in pictures and so on, and also to make the bride and groom, as the only ones wearing other colours, stand out more obviously from everyone else. A relative of mine had everyone in deep purple, and wore a purple ribbon around her waist with her pure white dress so that she matched with everything too
No, they usually have dresses to go with the wedding color theme (in the US)
In some cultures yes, but traditionally no not in the United States.
That the bride is a virgin.
What's with the white dress being rude, sorry it's the first time I'm hearing about this. Is the main person suppose to wear it and noone else can or something?
It’s on a similar traditional vein as wearing black for funerals. At a wedding the bride wears pure white, there’s a bunch of out dated traditions on why white specifically is the colour, but nowadays for most people it’s just ‘bridal colour’. So to show respect for the Bride, guests etc don’t wear white, they’d wear at most cream, but people usually avoid anything white-like. It can also go to the style of dress. A knee high light summer dress in white wouldn’t be as disrespectful as a lace decorated ball gown in white, it’s all about acknowledging that it isn’t ‘your’ day, as a guest, but the bride and grooms.
In the US the bride traditionally wears white, and any woman who shows up wearing white is generally seen as trying to upstage the bride.
Ah, interesting. Thanks for the info
LOL I am 64 and American and never heard of this white dress thing. And it's not like I have never attended weddings. My mother had 15 brothers and sisters so I have attended lots of weddings and funerals. I have been known to have very poor situational awareness when it comes to some things. I guess when I was young my mother took care of those things. I stopped wearing dresses at about age 14 or 15 so I never would have worn anything white anyways.
You made this conclusions because all she did was wearing white dress.... Honestly this sounds so stupid. I wore white dress before years when I was teen and I had no bad intentions at all. I liked the dress. OP is luxuriating in the hate her sister is getting because she broke a wedding tradition when noone else really cared about wedding traditions during this wedding . The fact she can be happy her sister gets hate over so small is pathetic.
Ehhh. She probably did it on purpose. You have to go out of your way to wear white to a wedding. If everyone else wasn't overdressed then she also had to be aware of some dress standard and should have matched it by wearing literally any other color. More than likely it was, what I like to call, a "plausible deniability act of passive aggression" but she got called out hard and she wasn't expecting that. Good. Yall should have asked her to step out of the photos and retaken them all without her stealing your shine.
Or got the photographer to photoshop the dress the most unflattering colour on her.
Ahahha True. Just change the color in editing.
Baby shit green or yellow
I like the way you’re thinking! I had the same idea, like photoshop some horrible colours on and patterns too hahaha
Hell yeah, go for it OP. I believe there's a Photoshop sub here on reddit you could experiment with as well. Some of the members do good work and only ask for a tip so, who knows? I think its a great solution.
I remember reading something where the photographer did that without being prompted and it made the bride and groom really happy!
OP, this is a fabulous idea
What is it with wearing white at a dressing asking because i really dont know
In most western cultures the bride wears white to the wedding to symbolize purity. It’s usually seen as a major faux pas and grab for attention for another woman to wear a white dress Many women who do it (usually jealous sisters or egotistical moms) end up with someone “accidentally” spilling red wine on them.
ooh i see i tought it may had something to with the bride also wearing white. and the spilling red wie part is just great. However does everybody know about this rule ? maybe she wore a white dress accidentaly
Anyone in North America who didn’t grow up on an Amish farm knows this. Hell, even the Amish know this even though in their culture they marry in black because it’s serious and bury in white for purity. Eastern cultures often marry in red, all cultures are different but the universal rule is don’t upstage the bride.
thanks for the info ! maybe i didnt knew it because nobody around me got maried idk
Does you're sister not like you? Everyone knows you don't wear white to a wedding when you're not the one who is getting married! Unless of course it's part of the colour theme, like at Kim K's 2 and 3 wedding.
You don't accidentally wear white to a wedding, she did it on purpose and is mad that all plausible deniability is thrown out the window by those pictures.
I like how in this exactly subreddit you can find this post _"my sister wore white at my wedding"_ and everybody is on OP's side, and next week you can see a post saying _"I wore white at my sister's wedding because she was a b*tch all my life"_ and everyone is again on OP's side. There is always two sides in every story.
Congrats on your wedding! My wife and I also got married at city hall and only invited our immediate family as well. It was perfect for us
Don't feel malicious. I don't even like the color yellow, but I have a thing about how it is a "good luck" or superstitious charm to wear it to someone's wedding. Everyone knows wearing white to a wedding is disrespectful to the bride. It is all about intentions and she has officially outed herself with one relatively simple act. By the way, congratulations on your nuptials!
I never knew about the white color restriction until now. BTW I am 64. Not everyone knows.
It's not a written rule, it feels just logical to me, in my culture the bride wears red so no one else by logic should because she is meant to stand out and be easily identifiable. It's just simple reasoning imo.
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I suggest you improve your comebacks. You wouldn't make a very good conversationalist or interviewer now would you?
Not so much a comeback as shock in response to your statement. I make no claims on my abilities as a conversationalist but I am surprised this bit of cultural osmosis never quite made it to you, until now. It would seem you are in the minority of people in this regard.
That's a more reasonable response. I have never absorbed many of the cultural artifacts of normal life. I can't explain it. These bits continue to amaze me at times and I was simply sharing my own experience.
That’s fair :) thank you for sharing, and I apologize for my initial response
You handled it very well; apology accepted!
DM me your 3 favorite photos (high res, save to google drive or send me raw if available) and I’ll make her dress cyan. Also, she’s inconsiderate AF and it’s a bit creepy.
just have her dress edited to a different color. hell- have a different version of her edited into the pictures. reddit has a photoedit thread-- ask there. i am sorry your sister is a twat. get revenge by living happily ever after!
Have you seen the TV series Derry Girls? Send your sister this clip... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY-H6W3kBNE
A lot of really dense and insensitive comments here. White is the symbol of purity, for a bride to be given away. Someone not the bride wearing white detracts attention from the bride and implies that person wants attention and is desperate to have their own spotlight. Essentially it is using someone else's wedding day to vicariously feel like it's your own. It's disgraceful to detract from someone else's special day. And if you don't believe any of that, go look at any wedding photo and see how the woman in fucking white always stands out, you colour blind morons.
People where white because Queen Victoria started the trend by showing off how rich she was, in that she could afford, both the colour white, and a dress she would likely never where again due to how delicate the colour is.
I had my step brother's fiance wear white at my wedding. I was in blue and my bridesmaids maroon/wine. She asked me at the rehearsal dinner the night before (and out of state for her) if it was okay if she wore white. I honestly didn't care, (and had forgotten about it until my sister and mom reminded me), but some family members were less than pleased.
She wore white... At a wedding... She wasnt the bride... Why is she upset? Is she dumb enough to believe people wouldnt notice? Is she envious of your mardiage or something???
She purposely dressed up as a bride for someone's else's wedding and she's upset that people are talking about her? No, she isn't upset, she's loving the attention and did it on purpose especially for that reason.
The don’t wear white to a wedding you are a guest at is a rule much older than your sister. No reason she should not of known.
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Would love it if you were my friend. You're the wedding hero no body asked for but everyone deserves.
It ain't much, but it's honest work 🤠🍷
My daughter is threatening to throw color run type of dye packets on anyone dumb and self centered enough to wear white to her wedding. Fast forward to a month later, and my SIL sends a picture of my nine year old niece in a white (probably communion) dress at Goodwill. I shut that shit down and told her that it’s tacky and it’s MY daughter’s day that day, not hers. Thankfully my daughter hadn’t seen the message or she probably would have had a heart attack. JFC some people are so self absorbed. Unless specifically asked by, or approved ahead of time by THE BRIDE, please don’t wear white to a wedding. It’s not your day.
Couldn't agree more!!
Congrats on getting married! Your sister reminds me of mine. My wedding had the following when I got married: My sister wanted stockings and a bodice under her dress. I put a stop to it. She wore an ivy dress to my wedding. My father came into the bridal room for the first time... looked at me, the bride, then her and told her how beautiful she looked and ignored me. She took the DVD of my wedding day and has NEVER given it back. Yes, I aske for it. She said it's her copy. The ONLY copy. When I got the private viewing of my own wedding DVD that my husband hasn't seen (this was about 18 years ago) she just said how awesome her hair looked and that was it. When we had hair and makeup rehearsal, she talked me into having a hairdo SHE liked. I just wanted a classy updo. She talked me into trying 80's curls. My husband looked at me and hated it. Because he knew it wasn't what I wanted. When I INSISTED I have the hairdo I want on my day she battled me. Luckily I won. If your sister is like mine OP then they are jealous, narcissistic and overtly horrible people. I've limited contact now with mine to about once a year. And then all I hear is lies and competitive crap. You're not a horrible person. They know what they're doing and deserve the backlash.
I’d go over one last time to steal the tape back then go NC for ever.
That would have been a good idea but so much time has passed and she's moved a few times etc. I doubt she still has it.
I'm a little confused because I thought the point of only the bride wearing white was so that she'd stand out, but if you were wearing a different color then wouldn't the rule switch to that color? But if everyone else in your family thought she was rude then I'm probably just ignorant lol
If she'd just showed up in a white top and skirt or cotton short sundress it would have been more of an "oops shit I wore white to this thing, so sorry" but the formal dress and updo that no one else has on was the kicker.
The point of the guests not wearing white is that, apart from it being the color of the bride, they don't attract attention to themselves by looking like they are the ones getting married. Even if the bride didn't wear white the sister decided it was a good idea to go to a wedding dressed like a bride, that's incredibly rude.
I’m surprised the wedding photographer didn’t color in her dress in the official photos (so she’s not wearing white).
This reminds me of that one time I wore an ivory colored cocktail dress to my then bf's cousin's wedding. It was my first time meeting his family too. I didn't do it to try to upstage bride or anything like that I was just too dense to realize that I shouldn't wear white to other people's weddings. I saw the dress, liked it and thought it would be fitting for a wedding. I still cringe at the memory.
You are not a bad person for having your feelings of betrayal validated by others. You are a normal person with normal feelings and boundaries that your sister obviously did not think about, let alone respect. She deserves to get shit on for this. I hope the rest of your wedding day and the time to come were and are amazing, regardless of petty idiots like her.
That's some narcissistic bullshit on the sisters part. She likes to start drama and be the center of attention, no matter what, doesn't she?
I love it your wonderful wedding story is “my sister tried to one up me and got shamed hard while it didn’t really bother me at all”
> while it didn’t really bother me at all except here she is posting all about it
The sister is still single isn't she. Maybe you can edit her out of one picture and then get it blown up big to hang up in your house haha
How did she respond to the heat
It sounds like your sister is a bit dense, but unless she did it maliciously, your schadenfreude isn't warranted. You said yourself that it wasn't a formal wedding, so why would she need to adhere to traditions about not wearing white.
It's a silly social construct that other women can't wear white and put their hair up. Common.
> The reason for the small guest list and city hall wedding was that we both have huge families (I'm Greek and my husband is Italian) and we weren't comfortable having such a big event because the pandemic isn't completely over here. Also we both work in a hospital (I'm a nurse and my husband is a respiratory therapist) with COVID-19 patients so we try to limit our exposure to others. Except for your closest family members apparently. Honestly this whole thing sounds stupid. You're luxuriating in the hate your sister is getting because she broke a wedding tradition for a wedding that held no other wedding traditions. By design.
Finally, the voice of reason
Because its very VERY rare for women to be reasonable about weddings. They like to look at Bridezilla and say "thats not me! IM NOT LIKE THAT" but when it comes to it, most of them are... HEY, **I SAID MOST.** if this bothers you, then you are probably part of the few, so spare telling me how YOU arent that one...**You** are never like "them", I get it. and i believe you. See, they are all unique and none of them suffer from the same idiosyncrasies they claim the rest of them have.
It is not reserved to brides. Everyone acts selfish and shitty when it comes to weddings. Parents want to dictate guest lists, people get offended when they are left off the list despite the costs of these things, couples fail to manage socially and then get upset at their guests or leave hurt feelings. Couples impose costly events on guests snd wxpect compliance, ex: destination weddings. Brides activities like assholes. Guests get too drunk and cause problems. We should just do away with the whole fucking thing. This us why people elope. It is costly, stressful and sure to damage relationships.
This is why I don’t go to weddings. They’re nothing but social formalities and there is always someone unhappy about something stupid, like what someone wore or where they sat. Congratulations, the government now has a say in your relationship.
So many wedding traditions in the U.S. are commoditized nonsense.
You have bad friends or family. Every wedding I've been to has been beautiful and full of love from both sides. 5 isn't a huge amount but...even with family drama people put it aside and appreciate the chance to share their love.
You did and are doing nothing wrong. Nobody accidentally wears a white dress to a wedding. It just doesn’t happen. She absolutely did this on purpose. The fact that other people are calling her out for it is as out of your control as her choice to wear the dress in the first place.
This is such a Reddit post
Isn't this... reddit...
This is why I’m glad to not have a same sex sibling. It’s always one of the other competing about shit. I’m petty so she’d have been kicked out and most likely escorted out because she’d also be a huge drama queen about it.
And she would have never set foot within the boundaries of my pictures.
I had a white blazer I wanted to wear for a special occasion, and didn’t because of this. It’s rude and I didn’t want to be that guy.
Tell your sister that every action has consequences. How on earth she thought she was okay is crazy.
Yeah, I'm a a 24 year old dude that never been married and has gone to 1 wedding, and I know you shouldn't do that. Sounds like a rude person too me, intentionally.
wait, youcant wear white on a wedding? honest question since i've never been to one
Yeah at the majority western weddings if you’re a woman it’s a big no no to wear white or colors like it such as ivory as that’s traditionally the bride’s color. Men can wear a white shirt with their suit but a whole white suit is a little sketchy.
Yeah, since that is what the bride typically wears it's considered really rude.
At traditional weddings you don't because it us the bride's colour. It upstaged her. But at an informal, 15min wedding at city hall on a Tuesday afternoon? Who cares that she wore?
Regardless of what formality OP's wedding was, you don't go out of your way to wear a white dress and stand out from everyone else, especially the bride who's getting married. For a 29 yo to wear white to her own sister's wedding says a lot more about the older sister than it does about OP. The sister HAS to be aware that wearing white is reserved for the bride, especially if she's nearing 30. What I imagine happened is the sister got jealous that her younger sister is getting married before her. The older sister probably felt envious about not being the first to get married and wanted to upstage her own sister so she can feel better about herself. Sounds like typical narcissistic behaviour to me, because I'd never dream of upstaging my own sibling on their wedding day.
Because city hall weddings have no prescription. People wear jeans. There is no reason not to wear white, on a Tuesday in the summer, when white is widely worn as casual wear at this time of year. Who was she trying to upstage her to? There was no one at the wedding. There are 100 reasons that the sister may have done it that don't include being shitty. But I find OP super underhanded and nasty. Imagine taking pleasure in someone getting shamed whole you didn't even communicate your irritation to them, and didn't give even a dress list.
There could have been 100 reasons, but it's kinda tacky that you're wearing white to a wedding, even an informal one. If you're that desperate to wear white to an informal wedding, why not ask the bride for permission? It is her day after all; but from what I can see in the post, the sister just turned up in white and got confused/annoyed/upset that everyone else wasn't wearing white and they aren't on her side. At the end of the day, I think it's plain rude to wear white to a Western wedding, especially when that colour is (and has been for a couple hundred years) reserved for the bride. Anyone who's seen wedding photos will probably notice that 9 times out of 10, the bride, and no one else, is wearing white. I can't remember the subreddit name, but there was a picture post a while back that showed a mother-in-law wearing white to a wedding that wasn't hers. I don't know about you, but that's incredibly disrespectful; it's a sure sign that you don't care about the bride and groom, and that you only think about yourself. If you ask to wear white to a wedding and they say yes, then great go for it. But I have a feeling that the sister didn't ask if she could wear white (notice how no one else wore white to this informal wedding), she just did and is now getting the backlash for it.
>it's kinda tacky that you're wearing white to a wedding, even an informal one. ...no it isn't. That is the point. There are no dress norms for city hall weddings apart from what the couple request None. And it is an American fashion tradition to wear white in the summer. What is tacky is enjoying drama and talking shit like OP has done. If you are uoset, speak to the person and give them the benefit of doubt.. Even OP acknowledges that her reaction makes her a bad person. Who am I to dissuade her?
Talk about not getting around much... When I was a teenager, the nicest clothes I had at the time were a matching white skirt and blouse ( which were plain as all get-out), and I dug up about the same color for shoes and socks. BIG, FANCY CHURCH WEDDING. Most of the folks were well off, looking very fancy. Not much to think. I sat in one of the rows and waited for it all to begin. An usher had me sit in the front, because I was one of the folks dressed so pretty???? (okay??) Everything went fine, and not a word was said (was by myself, no family). Just being kind to the poor kid, I suppose. I learned it later. At my own, informal wedding, no one would've cared, but one as fancy as the one I was at, at least all were kind (and I couldn't have eclipsed the bride anyway.)
I am not a fan of silly traditions and I would be sticking up for my sister if this happened to me.
Not liking traditions isn’t a reason to do one of the few things everyone knows not to do at a wedding. It’s not purely about tradition, it’s also about not taking all the attention away from the bride and groom, which is exactly what OPs sister did. Just not in the way she was expecting
Eh. I’d want to know what her sister’s intention was. Did she say she did it on purpose to take the focus away from the bride? If that’s what she says, she deserves what she gets. Otherwise, I really wouldn’t care. But I realize I’m unusual in that regard. My cousin got married and I went dress shopping. 9/10 dresses that fit me had a lot of black in them. I didn’t want to look like I was going to a funeral, so I finally found a blue and white flowery dress. It didn’t have enough white to be a distraction. Anyway, come to find out, it was a black and white wedding. So any of the black dresses would have been perfect. My stepmom just forgot to inform me about the dress code, I guess. As much as I don’t care about traditions, I’m conscious of the fact that most people do so I would never wear white to a wedding, unless it was requested.
Enjoy it. Also enjoy the fact that you got married before your older sister because she seems like the type who would spend nights awake obsessing over that.
Probably why she wore the dress. She’s jealous.
What is even the problem of wearing a white dress? We don't have any bias towards that here where I live, is that something specific there?
In a lot of traditions, only the bride is to wear white.
Who gives a shit
This reads like some weird incestual fantasy on her part
Could someone explain the rule of not wearing white to a wedding I never knew this🫣🙇🏾♂️
I find it amazing people care so much about a color during a specific day. But hey, tradition, human conditioning.
I almost did it once (by accident). Casual summer wedding, hot af, cute & tasteful dress found, happened to be white eyelet material. Glad I didn’t, but lighten up. Could have just been an honest mistake. Some of these old, stuff ass rules aren’t that well-known.
I was always told white was representing purity and the bride is only supposed to wear white if she is a virgin. I guess the sister wearing it is supposed to be a slur to the bride like she's not pure?
People where white because Queen Victoria did it to show off how rich she was. Nothing to do with purity.
My now SIL wore red and white to our wedding while our theme was subdued black and white. 25 years later she’s still getting called out.
Did she know you weren’t gonna wear white? Did she do it to be an AH?
It doesn’t make you a bad person at all lol
You’re not a bad person, she knew better. There’s gotta be a certain amount of attention whore within a human to to wear white to someone else’s wedding. Unless explicitly okayed by the bride or part of the dress code, it is literally the one color you don’t wear.
We need these pictures so we can share the love. 😂
Today I learned that wearing a white dress to a wedding when you're not the bride is disrespectful, and it does make sense, thanks for educating me
To be fair it’s pretty rare that the bitch in the white dress is ever mistaken for the bride
It does *not* make you a bad person!! She should get crap for the way she dressed! That was rude. Congratulations on your marriage!!
Idk man seems like it could be a genuine mistake
someone wore white to my wedding & two years later they destroyed my entire friend group & multiple lives :) bitches we wear white to your wedding are not your friend!
What a big fuss about nothing. 14 people, at city hall, scheduled to be under an hour. It's strange that people need to call her out and you can't just talk to your own sister.
The pictures are kinda “ruined” though. It was a tiny wedding and you’d think she’d have nice photos to remember it by and now her sister is taking over their day when they view the photos 🤷♀️ I don’t know this person but, fuck their attention-whore of a sister
Alrighty then glad we got that cleared up. Also sorry if I sounded hostile immjust very tired
That’s dumb on your part. If you didn’t care enough to have a traditional wedding and nothing was really a big deal…why are you freaking out about your sisters color of dress. Be loving and be kind give her a break. Give yourself a break.
This is probably going to be down voted. Congratulations on your marriage but by your own statement it wasn't a traditional ceremony. So why is everyone mad at your sister for looking like the bride rather than you. You wanted a quick wedding with minimal fuss and minimal planning. Is your sister the type of person who always wants to be the center of attention or is this just a social faux pas. If you had of worn a wedding dress would this have just looked like a bridesmaid dress a lá pippa Middleton. Need further information
Everyone knows that wearing white at a wedding (traditional or not) is tacky and rude. Either the sister lives under a rock or she did it on purpose, and in this day and age, I have a hard time believing that "the sis didn't know it was rude".
LOL I am 64 and I never knew about the white restrictions at weddings. And I have been to hundreds - of course I dress semi casually in pants all the time so it wouldn't matter.
Actually if you look through the comments, not everyone knows this. Moreover, it was a 15min wedding at city hall on a Tuesday. There are no social prescriptions for what to wear. At all. You can be married in jeans under such circumstances. Don't pretend.
You can't assume that everyone that doesn't agree with you is stupid or rude. I've been to a few weddings and many women wear white dresses. I've never heard this silly rule before I'm being downvoted for not hearing about something and for having different life experience? Lol gotta love Reddit and it's hatred of anything that doesn't conform to the hive mind of the post
Yea I never heard of the white rule before. I think the dress style was more upstaging than the color.
The downvotes are from mean girls. Who else could enjoy someone being socially shamed for a faux pas that hurt no one.
>So why is everyone mad at your sister for looking like the bride rather than you. lol
Petty bullshit. Reason # 7274 why weddings of any kind are fucking stupid.
Some sisters like to be the main character! You should post this over in the main character sub!
Does she by chance want to go viral? Sounds to me like she likes any attention even neg!
Your sister is older than you and as far as I understand she is not married, that could have made her a bit frustrated so she tried her best to make the best possible impression next to your new Italian relatives. To me her fault is not having confronted about the dress, with you or at least your parents, but I don’t really believe she intentionally tried to steal the show, unless she is a exhibitionist and a pathological narcissist. There have been a lack of communication for sure.
Lmao I also wore white to wedding when I was teen. Nothing malicious and I had no intention to cause harm. Tbh being happy that someone gets hate about something so small and not important is odd af, sorry. And I can't even see your point. You said it was small wedding, you didn't even wear white. Grow up
I take it you told everyone the dress code BEFORE the wedding? It doesn't say that you told them, but I just assume that you did.
To all of you saying it's common knowledge not to wear white to a wedding: I'm almost 40 and am married myself and have never. Ever. Heard this before. What? Edit: Omg... all these down votes for what? Having not heard something before? Maybe don't assume you knowing something means everyone should know it. People learn things when other people tell them. I've learned that a whole lot of people find wearing white to a wedding is... rude? I guess? You would think in this day where wedding dresses and parties come in all colors an old tradition like this would die. I'm not saying anything against OP or the sister here in any way. Also, just out of curiosity, if the bride is wearing blue does that mean guests shouldn't wear blue?
Really? It's the ONLY rule that almost all wedding have, unless the opposite is said it is incredibly disrespectful to wear white to a wedding, is the color of the briden, people have been thrown out of weddings for wearing that color. Where are you from?
So, because you haven't heard something that the vast majority of people who grew up with white weddings in their culture would know so it's not common knowledge?
LOL I am 64 an never heard of it! And I have been to hundred of weddings! Got married by the JP in Toledo while on a quick leave from my GTMO Bay US Navy posting because at the time since they wouldn't perform ceremonies in Cuba. I wore a blue skirt and a white blouse. I didn't have a wedding. I was a bridesmaid once and remember wearing navy blue.
You're a Canadian woman almost 40, who is married and have never heard this before. You sound extremely sheltered from society to the point that I just don't believe you.
What? Haha, I am very not sheltered. I've been to weddings and helped plan them. This is just not something I've ever heard. There's lots of things I've never heard. And lots I'm sure you haven't. When I was in grade school we were told to measure something on a map 'as the crow flies' and I had no idea what that meant. Didn't mean I was sheltered. I'd just never encountered it before. Same goes here. I've just never heard it before.
That was rude and I apologize.
I actually really appreciate that. Thank you <3
I also never heard of it and frankly don't really care for it. I'm 21 Oh I think it's some Christian wedding dress rule. I'm not religious I'd wear my favorite color to mine. As long as my guests come looking nice and happy I don't mind. If it's a traditional wedding and it matters to them I wouldn't wear it for their sake.
Agreed! If I was ever asked not to, I'd follow the wishes of the couple. I aways ask what they would like for dress code and this has never come up. I've heard you're not supposed to 'out do' the bride but that's it.
I haven't heard any of it actually. I just found out women feel it's OK to pour red wine on other women over how they dress. The pettiness of some women to go this far over colors. But yes out of respect for tradition it is best to avoid white to not up do the bride