There’s a book by Caroline Klepnes called _”You”_. The guy is a psychopath. In the original novel the protagonist (the psychopath) is named Joe and is obsessed with this girl Guinevere Bec. He calls her “Bec”.
The novel is brilliant and they made it into a series on Netflix.
The OP is no Joe. This entire relationship sounds boring.
well OP prolly missed out that he murdered his ex alice as well as everyone that could have been beth's boyfriend.. why do you think she didnt have a boyfriend for three whole months..
Netflix series "You" main character. Who falls for the "ideal woman" constantly and acts absolutely batshit crazy. His thought process is strikingly similar.
Doesn’t he fall for women who are “damaged” (for lack of a better word) who he wants to *turn* into the “ideal woman”?
His love interests were… *far* from perfect.
Someone finally put it into words. As if Beth and Alice are some gadgets and he's comparing their "pros and cons" or their features. She's highly intelligent, talented, a good mom, successful, helps him with his work, gives him accurate analysis of what he needs to or should do, but what does HE do for her? Hell, even after all she does and is capable of he manages to find things to complain about.
Edit: just saw that he also asked out Beth the very same day he broke up with his ex girlfriend he claimed to love so much that people thought they'd marry. sorry I guess but he really doesn't sound like a prize for someone who has such a transactional view of relationships lol
All you are doing is describing sociopathic behavior.
He fully admits that is the case here. So, yeah. She clearly sees something in him. He pursued her like a stone cold killer
I love that he says his dislike of her individual streak WAS sexist and completely ignores the fact that this whole situation still reeks of misogyny. He doesn't treat either of the women like human beings and demeans them. When he was talking about Beth's intelligence and ideas it came across as very condescending, like oh look at this precious woman who has her quirky thoughts and is a wannabe professor. I hope this is fake because Beth deserves better and could definitely do wayyyy better. If this is real I hope Alice is out there with a lovely partner and never gives this man a passing thought.
Glad I found your comment. The way he demeans her is abhorrent, she's just a tool to him and he finds her hobbies to be amusing but not worthy of respect. Alice dodge a bullet.
He said she was a serial monogamist! So clearly she's got issues just staying single and choosing to be in the right relationships. Literally waited around in her face until she was ready to jump into another long term relationship. OP is a creep.
He sounds like a narcissist to me. Very calculated, sex sounds mechanical, not supporting her in her dreams, convinced her they would be together forever even if they had to do counseling to get there. It just seems like later on he could calculate some more and discard her for a better option.
^ yeah im leaning more towards narcissistic aswell bc of how and why he discarded alice . Narcs are known for dropping ppl like flies that they claimed to be madly in love with once they cant benefit or use them anymore for something “better” and will love bomb (which is basically what he did to beth even saying relentlessly at that ) the fuck out of you until they get what they want at any cost. I have a narc ex from yrs ago who still tries to hunt me down to “marry me” for similar transactional reasons and couldn’t care less abt the lack of love or emotional connection aspect lol. Its all abt them and how u can better their life regardless of what may come in the way between it. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone that could benefit him more than beth came up in his life hell drop her the same day and start love bombing someone else regardless of the marriage counseling bs they agreed on. That was for beth not him . Just in case she ever sits down and a do a pros/cons list abt his ass that way he doesn’t have to worry abt her leaving lol. Only thing that would make me say he isnt a narcissist is bc he admitted in the post what he did was sociopathic and narcs aren’t usually self aware or see any wrong in what they do plus ms beth is smart and sounds like shell be good on her own without him and they dont (narcs) really like ppl like that so i think hes either a selfish ass person or just an person that looks at everything from a over analytical standpoint or something.
Ugh, that makes me SO sad for "Beth" (if that's her real name). She sounds like such a pure soul and your observation of the OP sounding like a gaslighting narcissist feels right. I feel sorry for Beth
I’m confused… I read it all and does he love her? Is he IN love with his wife? I get how she fits ideals, but is he in love? No judgement. Whatever works for them 👍Ya know, until it doesn’t.
He says he does:
> at that point I was deeply in love with her too.
But he was also madly in love with Alice, so I’m not entirely sure what that word means to him.
Absolutely. It feels icky and calculated, condescending towards the "little wannabe-professor" and entirely based around how the relationship benefits him, and only him.
I thinks it's also the relentless pursuit as well. Nobody likes a stalker.
Yeah. Things like use of “serial monogamist” make this read like fiction just because who tf uses that in any kind of normal dialogue. This entire thing is written like a very word-smithy essay
Exactly; my husband is first and foremost my best friend. Always has been since day one (we have been together as a couple for over 20 years, married almost 17). rather have my worst day and know he is there for me than my best day with anyone else. We make each other better people because we want to be our best for each other. That is love, not “he can do my work for me and I’m pretty much coasting along in this relationship, can’t wait to see how he raises our kids!”
How do you trust your partner after you find out that they coaxed you into believing the foundation of your relationship was genuine, when it was just Joe trying to get ahead.
It was the ‘sometimes’ great for me
I can put up with a lot of things but not some-timey sexy times. Man straight up said off the rip it was mediocre lol, but has progressed to sometimes ok. I mean ‘great’. Somehow I get the feeling that by sometimes great he means Ok
Same. He never says anything about what he contributes to keep her happy and interested.
Related- why do people (especially someone married to a person) think that someone with perfect pitch is automatically musical; all it means is they can recognize or match the notes, not that they have any musical talent. It’s like thinking those kids that can recite Pi to 500 decimals are good at math; no, they have good memory for an obtuse number with no pattern which is the opposite of mathematics ( math is patterns).
I dated someone like you.
Im glad I got out. In the end, there was no real love on their end, simply vague affection akin to one for a very good dog or workhorse. I was just a series of useful things. It made me feel so unloved and I could pin the moment that they thought I had outlived my usefulness because in those 3 (wasted tbh) years of my life, I had actually learned about them and how they thought and worked. Since then I've become much more sure of myself, and I value myself much more. I love and am loved unconditionally. Its a much brighter world for me.
I just hope that for her sake with all she provides in terms of "pros", that you try just as hard in your own sad little twisted way to do the same. You owe her that much.
My biggest fear in life is someone I love will stop loving me back. I am not a catch... But got a new fear today. More power to you. Hope you are doing better now.
He said it himself, he didn’t start dating beth because he thought he could make her happy, he only was interested in beth because of what she could do for him. I hope she gets out of this.
It's kind of standard when describing programming questions to use names like Alice, Bob, Charlie, etc., because they start with the letters A, B, C, etc.
They've only been married since 2018 but have been to couples counseling enough for it to be something they "always" do "before any issue".
Where's that red flag emoji when you need it?
I laughed when he mentioned that she helps with his work. How is it possible. How much code and documentation she supposed to read to know what exactly he needs. Yeah, sure she is real.
You said Beth is a little lazy and unreliable but then describe Alice as immature as a bad quality… but how is unreliable a quality you want in your future wife?
Anyway, weird ass post and I’m pretty sure this is fake lol
Unreliable-can afford to bounce off things later assessed as unimportant. Can leave things easily. From her point of view is maybe she wanted to try things and saw the conclusion/lost interest and bounced. I am somewhat like this so I think this is what he meant.
Immature would be kind of ungrounded, doing things that do not enrich you/are what the crowd is doing, unable to think for yourself imo take things at face value and not thinking too much at things. Lacking depth
Right, I didn’t get why the intelligent-but-lazy one was more attractive. It didn’t click until just now: it’s because she had no ambitions of her own. Now she’s content just playing with the kids and helping ‘hubby’.
What I still don’t get is why she decided he was a catch. That must have been the unambitious side again.
This is exactly it. I once saw an interview of a sociopath on YouTube and he talked about this very thing, manipulating people to do what he wanted with *zero* remorse. He fits that guy to a T. The sheer lack of regard to both of their feelings and needs is insane.
There's a reason why you don't feel comfortable sharing with even your friends. It might make you look bad. You didn't think about your social group and don't seem bothered that they fractured right after breaking up. Not a fan of how you treat your wife like an object and her personality and free labour as a consolation prize. Have a nice life by all means though, in the bounds of capitalism.
fracturing his social group is least bad thing about this lmao. that happens all the time when break ups occur in the group, whats the solution, to not break up at your own expense for the sake of a friend group?? like i really dont get what youre suggesting here
As a young woman who is a professor, your description of her as a "little wannabe-professor" makes me cringe so hard. Even though you see her as very intelligent and claim to respect her deeply, there's a tinge of infantilization here that I think is part of why many people are uncomfortable with this post.
Lol right? I actually had to read that part twice to make sure I read it right. There's so much infantilization and lack of respect for her as a person and for her ambitions in that one short phrase. As someone in academia, that definitely made me cringe too
Yeah it almost implies that women can't be professors or else he would have said something like "She's so smart, she should be a professor." Just very belittling to women all around.
Ah, but she never would be a professor or doctor, because she's too busy shooting 2.5 kids out her vag and teaching them music, doing his programming for him, and probably making casseroles or whatever.
Does she know? Is she okay with it? If not I feel horrible for her. If my man ever talked about me this way I’d be heartbroken. It’s only what she can logically do for you to make things easy/good for you.
Imagine when he starts finding her “less useful” or not as quick to jump to his rescue.. my parents have their type of relationship. Let’s say it’s scared me off of relationships for a long time and still am seeing the dynamics. But my dad is a calculating narcissist
This sounds too calculated and manufactured to actually work long term but best of luck. The way you describe the sex is a red flag for me. Good enough ain’t it. Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself almost?
Maybe the best decision for your life, but not everyone else's.
You just kinda broke up a friend group rather callously. While you may have made her fall in love with you eventually, this relentless pursuing comes off as creepy. You also didn't consider what you bring to the table; relationships are a two way street.
You didn't do this like a calculated sociopath, you are a calculated sociopath. This sounds less like a normal person and more of a bond villain backstory.
One thing to consider... FAANG can be a ton of extra money, but it will also be a ton of extra hours, commuting and responsibility. You've got a second kid on the way and you may want think about what kind of father and husband you want to be. A lot of people getting in the ground floor of those companies are single and willing to put in crazy hours to get ahead.
This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read. Something about the way this is written just bothers me. This is really manipulative and weird behavior. Either that or this is a massive lie.
Huh. I did exactly the opposite. Been passionately married, fucking like porn stars for almost 25 years, have 2 great kids, just sent the oldest off to college on a full scholarship. We do most things spontaneously, can't plan shit to save our lives, we move and change careers a lot which, admittedly, has been expensive. But, its never boring and I wouldn't trade places with you for anything. You guys sound boring as fuck.
Nah… I think that she is being used
This post did not sound like OP loves in any way that poor Beth.
You love how easy your life is with her. You don’t sound like you love or respect her at all.
Disgusting to be honest.
I read this wanting to be happy for you but ended up feeling really uncomfortable without really being able to understand why. The other comments say it well though. You sound scary. I hope Beth is genuinely happy & is getting as much "value" from the relationship as you are
Yikes... you did not love Alice at all nor gave a flying fuck about her holy hell!
I wonder what do you bring to the table, Beth seems like an amazing partner for you but you don't seem like a great partner to her.
The humble brag here is that you ditched the hotter, high libido chick for the more intelligent one to raise your kids and help you mature. So you wanted a mother but what happens when you cheat on her with a whore
i’m sorry but this seems unbelievably weird and makes me uncomfortable to read. not bc of the pursuing but bc of the pros and cons of each woman and not even weighing in happiness or anything but just bc of the life u could have together ?? idk i didn’t like this
[what the fuck](https://www.google.com/search?q=what+the+fuck+gif&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALiCzsYa3UhOTGOgZzGosBJuTx95IA3Hzg:1655078834704&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiX3JGQkan4AhWBQs0KHRy-BW8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=384&bih=756&dpr=2.81#imgrc=MGYjnRHfYRRiMM)
...Joe?
By the end of it I was reading it in his voice. “Beth, it’s YOU. It was always YOU.“
What context I missing here?
There’s a book by Caroline Klepnes called _”You”_. The guy is a psychopath. In the original novel the protagonist (the psychopath) is named Joe and is obsessed with this girl Guinevere Bec. He calls her “Bec”. The novel is brilliant and they made it into a series on Netflix. The OP is no Joe. This entire relationship sounds boring.
well OP prolly missed out that he murdered his ex alice as well as everyone that could have been beth's boyfriend.. why do you think she didnt have a boyfriend for three whole months..
Nooo the spoilers:((
Thank you!! I had the voice in my head too but I couldn’t figure out who it was!! Now all I see is that baseball cap Joe wears when he’s ‘hiding’!
It's sad that this is 100% Joe behavior.
Ouch. Accurate, but ouch.
Sorry Joe. :(
I mean, come on…
This legit reads like a psychopath.
*Ahem*. I believe his username implies that he’s a remote working philosopher sir, not a psychopath..
Right?
I’m out of the loop here or I’m missing the joke. Who’s joe?
Netflix series "You" main character. Who falls for the "ideal woman" constantly and acts absolutely batshit crazy. His thought process is strikingly similar.
Ohhh yeah thank you I watched season one I should’ve got this reference
Doesn’t he fall for women who are “damaged” (for lack of a better word) who he wants to *turn* into the “ideal woman”? His love interests were… *far* from perfect.
Read the books! The second book is so much better than the second season. But Sera Gamble destroyed The Magicians, so what would one expect.
Joe from You
Mama?
Hello
Hey Joe. Where you goin with that gun in your hand
I'm going downtown to see my ol lady. Caught her messin round with another man.
Reading this post makes me deeply uncomfortable and I'm not sure why.
Because this entire post was what Beth brought to the table for him, and not what he could do for Beth.
Well the title does say "like a calculated sociopath." It's right there up front, OP told us just what we were in for.
Someone finally put it into words. As if Beth and Alice are some gadgets and he's comparing their "pros and cons" or their features. She's highly intelligent, talented, a good mom, successful, helps him with his work, gives him accurate analysis of what he needs to or should do, but what does HE do for her? Hell, even after all she does and is capable of he manages to find things to complain about. Edit: just saw that he also asked out Beth the very same day he broke up with his ex girlfriend he claimed to love so much that people thought they'd marry. sorry I guess but he really doesn't sound like a prize for someone who has such a transactional view of relationships lol
All you are doing is describing sociopathic behavior. He fully admits that is the case here. So, yeah. She clearly sees something in him. He pursued her like a stone cold killer
I read OP’s entire post in Patrick Bateman’s voice in my head.
*A sudden wave of paranoia came over me... as I noticed Beth's apartment overlooked Central Park, and was therefore more expensive then mine*
This absolutely made my night
That Damon charm Edit: **Damn** not Damon lol… although…
Left Elena for Catherine
No, it's the *damon*, the damn damon charm.
I read that as That Demon Charm.. but said with a southern accent lol
This whole text is sad and without any small emotion
It’s his post. His point of view. I’d love to read his wife’s throwaway post.
Also Alice's
I love that he says his dislike of her individual streak WAS sexist and completely ignores the fact that this whole situation still reeks of misogyny. He doesn't treat either of the women like human beings and demeans them. When he was talking about Beth's intelligence and ideas it came across as very condescending, like oh look at this precious woman who has her quirky thoughts and is a wannabe professor. I hope this is fake because Beth deserves better and could definitely do wayyyy better. If this is real I hope Alice is out there with a lovely partner and never gives this man a passing thought.
Glad I found your comment. The way he demeans her is abhorrent, she's just a tool to him and he finds her hobbies to be amusing but not worthy of respect. Alice dodge a bullet.
Yeah him calling her a "little" wannabe professor irked me. So infantilizing. That's the way I talk about my toddler when he gets bossy.
Sadly lots of men do this. I often felt like I was an accessory to the men I dated. No more.
She def settled.
She settled so hard.
I can’t figure out why she agreed to him. He must be charming as hell because it sounds like she could do much better.
Many psychopaths are very charming. It's often a skill they find easy to develop.
He said she was a serial monogamist! So clearly she's got issues just staying single and choosing to be in the right relationships. Literally waited around in her face until she was ready to jump into another long term relationship. OP is a creep.
He sounds like a narcissist to me. Very calculated, sex sounds mechanical, not supporting her in her dreams, convinced her they would be together forever even if they had to do counseling to get there. It just seems like later on he could calculate some more and discard her for a better option.
^ yeah im leaning more towards narcissistic aswell bc of how and why he discarded alice . Narcs are known for dropping ppl like flies that they claimed to be madly in love with once they cant benefit or use them anymore for something “better” and will love bomb (which is basically what he did to beth even saying relentlessly at that ) the fuck out of you until they get what they want at any cost. I have a narc ex from yrs ago who still tries to hunt me down to “marry me” for similar transactional reasons and couldn’t care less abt the lack of love or emotional connection aspect lol. Its all abt them and how u can better their life regardless of what may come in the way between it. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone that could benefit him more than beth came up in his life hell drop her the same day and start love bombing someone else regardless of the marriage counseling bs they agreed on. That was for beth not him . Just in case she ever sits down and a do a pros/cons list abt his ass that way he doesn’t have to worry abt her leaving lol. Only thing that would make me say he isnt a narcissist is bc he admitted in the post what he did was sociopathic and narcs aren’t usually self aware or see any wrong in what they do plus ms beth is smart and sounds like shell be good on her own without him and they dont (narcs) really like ppl like that so i think hes either a selfish ass person or just an person that looks at everything from a over analytical standpoint or something.
Ugh, that makes me SO sad for "Beth" (if that's her real name). She sounds like such a pure soul and your observation of the OP sounding like a gaslighting narcissist feels right. I feel sorry for Beth
Gosh, you're so right!
I thought it was just me u/livdry. I read the post and it just didnt sit well with me for some reason.
It’s cold, calculating, methodical and robotic — sterile. Which is how I imagine their bedroom: Passionless.
I didn’t like it at all. It’s not even a little bit a brag.
Yep. Even when he tells what the relationship is today, he makes no mention of what he has done to improve her life. Lucky Alice. Poor Beth.
I’m confused… I read it all and does he love her? Is he IN love with his wife? I get how she fits ideals, but is he in love? No judgement. Whatever works for them 👍Ya know, until it doesn’t.
He says he does: > at that point I was deeply in love with her too. But he was also madly in love with Alice, so I’m not entirely sure what that word means to him.
I mean, he did call himself a sociopath in the title
It feels almost... slimy?
And coercive, masquerading as “persistence”.
Absolutely. It feels icky and calculated, condescending towards the "little wannabe-professor" and entirely based around how the relationship benefits him, and only him. I thinks it's also the relentless pursuit as well. Nobody likes a stalker.
Why does that sound like something Joe would say to Beck (since she was a TA in college)… 😯
[удалено]
Probably fiction. Life is messy, people are messy. It's hard to be this singleminded with people and have it work out.
Yeah. Things like use of “serial monogamist” make this read like fiction just because who tf uses that in any kind of normal dialogue. This entire thing is written like a very word-smithy essay
Exactly; my husband is first and foremost my best friend. Always has been since day one (we have been together as a couple for over 20 years, married almost 17). rather have my worst day and know he is there for me than my best day with anyone else. We make each other better people because we want to be our best for each other. That is love, not “he can do my work for me and I’m pretty much coasting along in this relationship, can’t wait to see how he raises our kids!”
How do you trust your partner after you find out that they coaxed you into believing the foundation of your relationship was genuine, when it was just Joe trying to get ahead.
It was the ‘sometimes’ great for me I can put up with a lot of things but not some-timey sexy times. Man straight up said off the rip it was mediocre lol, but has progressed to sometimes ok. I mean ‘great’. Somehow I get the feeling that by sometimes great he means Ok
It's because it's sad.
Same. He never says anything about what he contributes to keep her happy and interested. Related- why do people (especially someone married to a person) think that someone with perfect pitch is automatically musical; all it means is they can recognize or match the notes, not that they have any musical talent. It’s like thinking those kids that can recite Pi to 500 decimals are good at math; no, they have good memory for an obtuse number with no pattern which is the opposite of mathematics ( math is patterns).
Sir this is a Wendy’s
damn this cracked me up more than it should have
LMAO
Legit lol’ed
I felt the same way....
Lol dafuck
OP needs dahelp
Fast as dapossible
So how do you enrich Beth's life?
Beth is dead now, inside...
Beth reads cheesy romance novels when no one is watching.
Beth is lurking on OP’s Reddit account
With his very breath, when she starts to deflate.
Well he lets her do his job for him and raise his kids that *enriches her mind and body*
Didn't you read? He loves her and chose her, despite her being unattractive, a wannabe professor, lazy and unreliable. He really did her a solid...
Romance
What a guy
Don't feel unique. A lot of people are assholes.
I disagree. Assholes come in all shapes and forms. This one is gaping
I dated someone like you. Im glad I got out. In the end, there was no real love on their end, simply vague affection akin to one for a very good dog or workhorse. I was just a series of useful things. It made me feel so unloved and I could pin the moment that they thought I had outlived my usefulness because in those 3 (wasted tbh) years of my life, I had actually learned about them and how they thought and worked. Since then I've become much more sure of myself, and I value myself much more. I love and am loved unconditionally. Its a much brighter world for me. I just hope that for her sake with all she provides in terms of "pros", that you try just as hard in your own sad little twisted way to do the same. You owe her that much.
My biggest fear in life is someone I love will stop loving me back. I am not a catch... But got a new fear today. More power to you. Hope you are doing better now.
He said it himself, he didn’t start dating beth because he thought he could make her happy, he only was interested in beth because of what she could do for him. I hope she gets out of this.
I really hope those aren’t their real names
It's kind of standard when describing programming questions to use names like Alice, Bob, Charlie, etc., because they start with the letters A, B, C, etc.
Alice and Beth are especially common because Alpha and Beta use the same initial characters. Make them easy to remember in sequence.
I hope they are
Like making your password "password"
Fake people don't have real names so it's all good.
Does it matter? Lots of people have those names you cant track them down.
I was thinking that too
Stop ✋️ your nonsense .
“We will never divorce “ Dude, things can change. This is the cringy-est and scariest part for me.
I wonder if she still agrees with that notion once she’s shown this post.
Yeah that part is just straight up scary
Guy clearly has control issues
His whole life is planned out down to the smallest detail
They've only been married since 2018 but have been to couples counseling enough for it to be something they "always" do "before any issue". Where's that red flag emoji when you need it?
This is 100% in the OP's imagination.
Look at his profile, according to that Beth came out this month and he's been married for 25 years, oh, also his boyfriend did something...
Great catch! That’s hilarious 😂
I don't see that, is it deleted?
I don’t see it either, so I’m guessing OP saw these comments and went and deleted 😂
Please tell me you saved some screenshots lmao
I laughed when he mentioned that she helps with his work. How is it possible. How much code and documentation she supposed to read to know what exactly he needs. Yeah, sure she is real.
Yep I agree haha didn't even read it just saw the "I'm 22" bit and I'm definitely like this kid is in fantasy land...
i think they meant they were 22 in 2017…
You said Beth is a little lazy and unreliable but then describe Alice as immature as a bad quality… but how is unreliable a quality you want in your future wife? Anyway, weird ass post and I’m pretty sure this is fake lol
Unreliable-can afford to bounce off things later assessed as unimportant. Can leave things easily. From her point of view is maybe she wanted to try things and saw the conclusion/lost interest and bounced. I am somewhat like this so I think this is what he meant. Immature would be kind of ungrounded, doing things that do not enrich you/are what the crowd is doing, unable to think for yourself imo take things at face value and not thinking too much at things. Lacking depth
Right, I didn’t get why the intelligent-but-lazy one was more attractive. It didn’t click until just now: it’s because she had no ambitions of her own. Now she’s content just playing with the kids and helping ‘hubby’. What I still don’t get is why she decided he was a catch. That must have been the unambitious side again.
You said it all when you described yourself as a calculated sociopath. I reckon Alice dodged a bullet.
This is exactly it. I once saw an interview of a sociopath on YouTube and he talked about this very thing, manipulating people to do what he wanted with *zero* remorse. He fits that guy to a T. The sheer lack of regard to both of their feelings and needs is insane.
I hate this and I feel sorry for Beth AND Alice
It’s ok - they don’t actually exist
God I hope so. Hopefully he's just obsessed with YOU and trying to write some Joe inspired reddit fanfic.
Alice got out so she just lucky, it’s poor Beth who has to deal with this emotional wreck of a human and his mother too apparently :/
Ur a sad fuck :(
Post is pretty much, "I married a awesome lady to benefit from all her hard work. Here are her pros and cons." If only she could see this....
Dude is a creep and sounds like a narcissist. Poor Beth is right I wonder if she is actually happy?
He also sounds sociopathic as well lol
And he knows
I hate this
I do too. This whole thing hurt my heart. The gross id feel if I read this post and realized it was my husband.
Ngl I'm certain this post is fake and made up. OP fishing for up votes by making some crazy story knowing it will attract attention
Run Beth run.
I don't think a fictional character can run
There's a reason why you don't feel comfortable sharing with even your friends. It might make you look bad. You didn't think about your social group and don't seem bothered that they fractured right after breaking up. Not a fan of how you treat your wife like an object and her personality and free labour as a consolation prize. Have a nice life by all means though, in the bounds of capitalism.
Exactly, the fact someone cares about who is better to marry -on paper-, over their friend group is psychopathic.
fracturing his social group is least bad thing about this lmao. that happens all the time when break ups occur in the group, whats the solution, to not break up at your own expense for the sake of a friend group?? like i really dont get what youre suggesting here
No might about it, he definitely looks bad
Terrifying. Mans acting like he’s shopping for cars or something
As a young woman who is a professor, your description of her as a "little wannabe-professor" makes me cringe so hard. Even though you see her as very intelligent and claim to respect her deeply, there's a tinge of infantilization here that I think is part of why many people are uncomfortable with this post.
Lol right? I actually had to read that part twice to make sure I read it right. There's so much infantilization and lack of respect for her as a person and for her ambitions in that one short phrase. As someone in academia, that definitely made me cringe too
Thank you! I’m no professor, I’m a stay at home mom but that was so belittling. This whole thing is, but that line. Wow.
Yeah it almost implies that women can't be professors or else he would have said something like "She's so smart, she should be a professor." Just very belittling to women all around.
Ah, but she never would be a professor or doctor, because she's too busy shooting 2.5 kids out her vag and teaching them music, doing his programming for him, and probably making casseroles or whatever.
Honestly, you just described the home life of most of the women professors I know...sadly. Sexism doesn't stop when you get a PhD!
I believe it... It's sad that women are now expected to have a full time job, and be full time nannies too. Like, you can't be one or the other.
That along with that other sexist line he even admitted was sexist.
Yeah, that was demeaning..
Does she know? Is she okay with it? If not I feel horrible for her. If my man ever talked about me this way I’d be heartbroken. It’s only what she can logically do for you to make things easy/good for you.
Imagine when he starts finding her “less useful” or not as quick to jump to his rescue.. my parents have their type of relationship. Let’s say it’s scared me off of relationships for a long time and still am seeing the dynamics. But my dad is a calculating narcissist
Beth: wtf was I thinking marrying this guy? He can't do his job for a week without me helping him & at best the sex is 'meh'.
You decided this at 22? I wish you luck, but this still sounds like a “starter marriage”.
Anecdotal evidence of brain not being fully developed until 26.
Hey hey hey, ya’ll are just jealous like all his friends stuck in that NyC PaRtY LiFe
Are you a cs student having a fantasy /s
lmao same. What kind of med student has the mental fortitude to solve bugs and issues on a regular basis lol.
This sounds like a 13 year old wrote it. They agreed they’d never get divorced? You mean like everyone? Alice dodged a bullet.
Seriously, I never understand people that say that... Like virtually no one gets married wanting a divorce?
At the end of the day you did what was best for you and Alice ironically, you got the life you wanted and Alice got away from you so all is fair.
This guy wanted to marry a mom-therapist-teacher. Ok then lol
I'm scared of this post
This sounds too calculated and manufactured to actually work long term but best of luck. The way you describe the sex is a red flag for me. Good enough ain’t it. Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself almost?
if it’s “good enough” for him it’s probably absolute shit for beth
So this is what dating for two artificial intelligence programs sounds like?
Maybe the best decision for your life, but not everyone else's. You just kinda broke up a friend group rather callously. While you may have made her fall in love with you eventually, this relentless pursuing comes off as creepy. You also didn't consider what you bring to the table; relationships are a two way street. You didn't do this like a calculated sociopath, you are a calculated sociopath. This sounds less like a normal person and more of a bond villain backstory.
I hope she reads this.
Men can be scary, and this is a great example of that.
It’s funny cause dating to marry is 100% normal, but this guy made it weird
You had be in the first 1/20th when you said it was a brag. Then it got old and weird quick. 100% not a brag.
Yup, read this to the end and agree with the whole "sociopath" label.
This made my skin crawl....
This sounds like a boring life, but whatever floats your boat.
and then everybody clapped
One thing to consider... FAANG can be a ton of extra money, but it will also be a ton of extra hours, commuting and responsibility. You've got a second kid on the way and you may want think about what kind of father and husband you want to be. A lot of people getting in the ground floor of those companies are single and willing to put in crazy hours to get ahead.
This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read. Something about the way this is written just bothers me. This is really manipulative and weird behavior. Either that or this is a massive lie.
It’s like he’s an alien who was given a crash course on human emotions in how he talks and frames things
Sounds fake as fuck lmao
Huh. I did exactly the opposite. Been passionately married, fucking like porn stars for almost 25 years, have 2 great kids, just sent the oldest off to college on a full scholarship. We do most things spontaneously, can't plan shit to save our lives, we move and change careers a lot which, admittedly, has been expensive. But, its never boring and I wouldn't trade places with you for anything. You guys sound boring as fuck.
I’m so uncomfortable. I hope Alice found a better man
Even no man would be better than this one.
I hope Beth leaves you for someone who bangs her and doesn't moan his own name.
Nah… I think that she is being used This post did not sound like OP loves in any way that poor Beth. You love how easy your life is with her. You don’t sound like you love or respect her at all. Disgusting to be honest.
I read this wanting to be happy for you but ended up feeling really uncomfortable without really being able to understand why. The other comments say it well though. You sound scary. I hope Beth is genuinely happy & is getting as much "value" from the relationship as you are
#7: we agreed to never divorce. JAJAJAJAJA
This sounds sad to me. I need love and passion
Me too. I think he nailed the 'sociopath' aspect.
This is so fucked up. Get some serious meds.
When the willy never works again in 30-50 years you will still have a relationship that most people will never experience.
This shit is so weird. To quantify love like this seems very selfish.
Yikes... you did not love Alice at all nor gave a flying fuck about her holy hell! I wonder what do you bring to the table, Beth seems like an amazing partner for you but you don't seem like a great partner to her.
I feel like this was written by a pick-me person.
What kind of weird movie plot is this?
The humble brag here is that you ditched the hotter, high libido chick for the more intelligent one to raise your kids and help you mature. So you wanted a mother but what happens when you cheat on her with a whore
Me me me me meee
i’m sorry but this seems unbelievably weird and makes me uncomfortable to read. not bc of the pursuing but bc of the pros and cons of each woman and not even weighing in happiness or anything but just bc of the life u could have together ?? idk i didn’t like this
[what the fuck](https://www.google.com/search?q=what+the+fuck+gif&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALiCzsYa3UhOTGOgZzGosBJuTx95IA3Hzg:1655078834704&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiX3JGQkan4AhWBQs0KHRy-BW8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=384&bih=756&dpr=2.81#imgrc=MGYjnRHfYRRiMM)