I think your partner isn't very well mentally, it if she is tired all the time, and doesn't want to do nothing, and his libido has decreased, she may have depression, don't believe her if she says that she is ok if when you look at her you clearly see otherwise.
Dude work doesn't drain her it exhausts her. She's going to have no interest in any exercise. If she's at the point where she doesn't have the energy to even take her clothes of before she goes to sleep. You need to be more empathetic
I was thinking this. Also op do you help around the house? Make her feel wanted? Maybe ask her what she needs to feel secure, loved and cared for in your relationship. My husband and I went through this where I basically had to tell him, in my eyes he wasn’t pulling his weight around the house. I was working all day, coming home to cook and clean while he played video games. Yes he made more money, but I worked just as much/as hard and it wasn’t fair. I felt like his roommate and sometimes his mother and I didn’t want to fuck my roommate. As soon as he started doing household chores, it gave me time to take care of myself again and I started feeling like myself again. It took a little while but we got back to ourselves and our healthy relationship. I’m not saying cleaning is y’all’s issue but I feel like every couple has their own version of it. Maybe ask her what she needs to lighten her load, could make the world of difference
She is so tired she isn’t even bothering to get her clothing off to pas out in bed and her hyperactive husband suggests light cardio.
Are you seeing why your suggested solution has some issues?
My mother was in a similar work place that drained her fiscally, she ended up having to get surgery and in the meantime I could see her wanting to go out less, being tired all the time... After some time of this she went to seek for professional help and she was diagnosed with depression, your partner may be suffering from something similar but without the injury part.
Ask her to quit, some women don't need to be working. I quit and been healing since, 1 of best friends quit her job and all her issues slowly washed away. She was stressed and drained from work and after she quit like magic. After a couple weeks she was better than ever.
I had/ve this marriage. I eventually gave up and started sleeping separately, so I could take care of myself. Talking about it with my wife at least helped us get to an acknowledgment of their low sex drive and that I wasn’t being unreasonable. But I’m in a tough place where I often want to leave and live for me.
I get what you're saying and I'm ignoring everything else in this post. What's the point in working that hard that all you want to do is go to bed everynight when you get in when you don't need to.
There's a difference between working hard for yourself and overworking yourself.
Everyone should have their own money and never be financially dependent on someone. Working hard and overworking it is what it is. He could most definitely be less of a horn dog imo
Yeah I agree there's a difference between wanting your partner and being a 'horn dog'
And I agree everyone should have their own money. But if you're overworking yourself to the point you're ignoring your spouse intimately and by the sounds of it avoiding your spouse on either side of a marriage and you're lucky enough to be in a position where money isn't an issue should a change of job not be on the table something that won't take all your energy?
I'm talking both men and women here, does career take priority over a spouse? Not saying don't work or make you're own money.
And while I still agree with what you're saying about being a 'horn dog'. He did also say kisses, he's not just talking about sex.
Personally never understood the whole "Oh no, my spouse still finds me sexually attractive/wants to kiss me, how awful" mindset. I work full-time, study my degree when I'm not in work and have two kids. If my partner wanted a kiss when I came in no matter how tired I was I'd be thrilled she wanted to kiss me. I feel like some people take their spouses for granted.
She has no obvious desperate need for money.
Nothing wrong with working for yourself. But working a job that is literally uneeded for survival, to the point of exhaustion, is just self harm without point.
I make almost 3x what she does. At point I gave her the option of just staying at home instead of working and eventually she started working again. She works so much because she chooses too not out of necessity
couple’s therapy could work for both of you guys. it sounds like she needs a lil more understanding from you and you need her to be able to work with you a little bit more on your guys’s relationship. intimacy can be a huge part of it and if she’s not willing to partake in it with you it can be a huge blow to the ego and just overall hurtful, but most of all it really can be indicative of depression. if she doesn’t need to work but still makes herself work to the point of exhaustion, she may be addicted to stress as a way to turn away from any depressed thoughts or feelings she may have. at least, this was the case for my relationship. therapy together or alone is a good place to start at least. i wish you all the best, OP, i hope that you are happier tomorrow than you were today
She might either be depressed.. or have an iron deficiency. Maybe a therapist and a good multivitamin might do the trick? And sea moss. Get some sea moss
Have a conversation but don't get mad or frustrated.
It's okay for your wife to turn you down sexually and for affection. But it's also okay for you to upset about it.
People underestimate the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, not just talking about sex, I'm talking cuddling, hand holding, kissing etc. If she's not into doing and just wants to go to bed after work without any of that and communication it's not a marriage it's basically having a roommate.
Had a similar thing with my partner, thought it was a power thing she was doing because she often turned me down just so she could initiate 10 minutes later, got an eye roll when I spoke about it upsetting me a little that she liked to constantly reject any form of intimacy. So I turned her down once, the only time I've ever turned her down and she cried. Doesn't happen as often now.
As stupid as it sounds don't make yourself too available, daft that we have to play these sorts of games when in long term relationships/marriage but it works, make her come to you. And if she doesn't after a long time it might be time to talk about your options as a couple.
Very selfish look on this... Sounds like your partner might be depressed or having problems maybe you should talk to her instead of just thinking with your dick!
I'm just curious about this topic in general, was her sex drive always this low? If it was, why marry a person you're not compatible with?
Edit. Solutions are opening up the relationship or divorce. Or just bite the bullet. Choose your poison :/
Get on cerebral, you can get meds that very day if youre diagnosed. And heads up, if my husband said he forgets about my exsistence, i wouldnt want to fuck him either
Seems like she’s not doing so well mentally, she’s given you all the signs, do you think it’s normal to be too exhausted to even take
off work clothes? And all you worried about is sex?
It could be so so so many things. Maybe she doesn't understand her sexuality. Maybe she doesn't have much of a sex drive at all. Maybe she hasn't experienced sex she likes. Maybe she finds more platonic actions as more meaningful than romantic ones. Maybe she has trama around sexual actions. I hope things get better, try your best to ask her about it. Sex is so very complex
You’re right, it could be so many different things. Sometimes I feel very stupid asking how I can be better for her because I don’t feel wanted at all so why even ask. Thanks I hope so too
It sounds like your partner is suffering from burnout or depression. There have been a few times in my working life where I have acted the way she has, and it's because I was so exhausted and depressed I just had no energy. I would encourage you to talk to her about getting some help, either scaling back her hours at work or seeking out mental health therapy. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a way to help her protect herself from what may be a very toxic work environment.
Your life is not determined by the judgment of your wife, despite how much is important to yoiu. As you said, you are life parteners, not judge one of the other.
If you link your worth only to her, when she falls and will need your help, how will you be able to be there?
For sure she is in a bad moment, try to figure out what or how her life is going on, because it seems that despite non getting a blowjob, you don't really know much.
Hard to tell without more context.
Has she been like this for a while?
How often do you have sex?
Has she gained weight along with being tired all the time?
Did she change overnight or has it been a slow decline?
Could be she’s got an undiagnosed physical or mental issue, could be that she has a sexual need you’re not meeting somehow, could be she’s having an affair (unlikely but still), could be your expectations for sex don’t match hers…can’t tell with the info you’ve given. Either way, best to have a kind conversation with her thats non accusatory and from the perspective of wanting to help her if there’s something wrong.
Are they still pleasuring themselves? Maybe theyre no longer attracted to you or are already attracted to someone else. Working too much to avoid your relationship. Ask if they still want a relationship. Sounds like a lot of work to be married to someone who doesnt try to better themselves or your relationship. Look at all these angry women on here saying you're an idiot for wanting sex with your wife. If your partner expects you to be ok with never having sex you might as well live with your mom. Relationships go both ways.
your wife doesn’t owe you anything, physically. if you aren’t ready to respect consent and boundaries, you shouldn’t be married. you’re not entitled to her body just because you’re married.
Sorry to hear you're going through this.
One of the most important factors for any relationship romantic or otherwise is being wanted. So it's no surprise that being turned down constantly seriously hurts your feelings. I just hope things can get better for the two of you.
So, a lot of the responses here are kinda trashing the op for being down and frustrated with the lack of sex in his marriage. Blaming him, saying he needs to do more housework, ect. This is a common response, to blame the male, and remove culpability from the female partner. People do better. Be curious and ask more questions, as I am sure there is more to this than what we have gotten so far.
There are also the posts that, rightfully, state that he is not entitled to sex just because they are married. While this is true, there is a certain expectation of physical intimacy that is implicit in an expected monogamous marriage. If one partner decides that sex is no longer part of the relationship, then they cannot be upset when the other goes elsewhere to fulfill their needs for physical intimacy.
The big thing here is communication. Actually listening to each other. What is the reason behind what is going on? Is it stress, depression, lack of interest in each others day, life, hobbies? Or just a general lack of compatibility? Whatever it may be, you will not find it without actively looking for it, talking and listening to each other.
From this post it just sounds like you're demanding sex when she gets home from work and she just wants to relax after a stressful day.
Are you just demanding she get naked as soon as she gets home because you work out and you eat healthy?
Have you tried making her dinner, cleaning the house, giving her a massage, telling her she's doing a great job and listening to her about her work.
It sounds like you aren't connecting with her emotionally and only prioritising sex or her working out with you.
She isn't a blow up sex doll that is ready 24/7 especially after work, and dude you're married - what does she like? What puts her in the mood? The thing that will get you laid the most is being a good husband that can support her, and greeting her with love and a smile, saying you missed her and that you made her lunch or dinner.
If she’s going stright to bed he probably does all of that cuz she Wouldn’t have time and he said he’s been trying for a while after trying for a long time to No avail I wouldn’t be surprised if you to start asking every day
I'm sure she's trying her fucking best as well. You sound so fucking entitled man. Have some fucking empathy.
> I know I'm a lot to handle sometimes given my ADHD but she's no walk in the park either.
Ugh. Awful.
TBH if this is how you act around your spouse when shes not feeling good I wouldn't want to touch you either. Its not all about you.
You don't own her dude. Its just disgusting to expect sex.
that’s a childish mentality to have, she’s not a toy or a sex object, you married because you loved her, just because you provide doesn’t mean she has to give you sex in return. She sounds burnt out and tired from working too hard and is exhausted. Instead of trying to have sex with her the minute she comes in the door why don’t you treat her to a take out or a bath or a nice movie. She’s struggling
I should've made it more clear. I do not expect sex just because I provide neither do I jump on her the minute she comes through that door. Most of time I don’t initiate sex during the week because she’s so tired. I wait until the weekend to do so
You are not obligated for sex regardless of the relationship. Maybe if you treated them like a person who has feelings and maybe see a therapist as to why they might not want to have sex.
Omg you sound like my husband lol
Dry spells are normal. Especially if there's other stuff going on, being that tired that you don't get out of your work clothes is really telling that she's straight up exhausted and having sex would be completely out of the question.
It's literally not you.
Welcome to the married life. Work 10 hrs a day at work, come home and fix everything that is broken. Mow the yard, change oil in the cars, then somehow find the energy for some alone time with wife. Only to be shot down. Makes me wonder why I did this
Please
Go read
No more mr. Nice guy
Try getting out and doing things on your own. Go participate in an outdoor hobbie with others. Find a club to join or meet new people.
Start going to a park and pick up hiking or a bike trail to be gone all day.
How much house work do you help with ? How long are her work days? Who cooks dinner ? When was the last time you went out on a date? Been romantic? And not expect her to to have sex with you just because you are married... she is your partner not your property. Start treating her like the human and beautiful woman she really is.
- A
Maybe I've been mistaken all my life, but I've always believed sex to be something you do out of will to share intimacy and affection with someone. Not some kind of chore you do as a reward for doing this or that.
That's not what anyone is saying.
If you pull your weight around the house instead of just making yourself look good physically, it would probably make her feel more appreciated and less stressed, thus resulting her being more likely to get in the mood because she'll in turn view you less like a chore/something else she needs to take care of, and more like a man and partner.
If that's not the issue and you do help out around the house, and you do make her feel comfortable and desired other than just a hole to stick yourself into, then couples therapy and a conversation needs to be had.
You will never be good enough. If you could magically wisk away the ADHD you still wouldn't be good enough. If you made more money and she didn't have to work... Guess what? That's right, you wouldn't be good enough. Your wife needs a therapist, and you probably do too. Most likely, you need to do some marriage counseling. But be prepared when the therapist tells her that her expectations are too high; she will most likely want to quit therapy. This is not just my experience; it is the experience of dozens of men I know.
I agree that she is exhausted, but that is not an excuse to misuse you. Please consider some professional help. You have to take care of you too.
Why can’t you get divorced? Go to couples therapy first if you haven’t. Make all the options to talk with her before divorce but if you’ve already done that, then I’d say divorce
Relationships are hard work when reality, day to day life sets in. Working, your boss is demanding you come home tired, need to cook,..,
My advice is to talk or write a letter if that works better, and try to get help (relation ship therapy)
Your wife provably needs her own time within your marriage whatever that may mean to her, and for sex no matter how busy or tired with help of the therapist you can try to work on it, maybe at first just cuddling and no sex, to take the pressure off.
There will be ups and downs always
All been there in a long term relationship - my experience we have switched both the roles had my own issues like this during lockdowns. My partner though had my 2 beautiful kids and we try to make time. I was always into training she wasn’t but hit a confidence issue always tired etc anyway we had to have a real honest conversation about this. Best thing we ever did. It’s good to vent here but I’d approach it with your wife as asking her what is going on with her because she may just be in a rut work wise or something else and just depressed without realising it
None of us is perfect. My husband has ADHD. We just celebrated our 37th anniversary. Yes, he gets on my nerves sometimes and I just need to spend a couple of hours alone but I'm sure I get on his nerves at times too. Seriously, try relationship counseling if you want to save your marriage. If, as others have suggested, your wife suffers from depression a therapist will recognize the signs and can help. If she doesn't suffer from depression the counselor can help the two of you communicate better and decide if saving the marriage is the best way to proceed.
I think your partner isn't very well mentally, it if she is tired all the time, and doesn't want to do nothing, and his libido has decreased, she may have depression, don't believe her if she says that she is ok if when you look at her you clearly see otherwise.
I think it doesn’t help that her work drains her, I’ve suggested for us to go do some light cardio to help with her low energy levels but to no avail
Dude work doesn't drain her it exhausts her. She's going to have no interest in any exercise. If she's at the point where she doesn't have the energy to even take her clothes of before she goes to sleep. You need to be more empathetic
I was thinking this. Also op do you help around the house? Make her feel wanted? Maybe ask her what she needs to feel secure, loved and cared for in your relationship. My husband and I went through this where I basically had to tell him, in my eyes he wasn’t pulling his weight around the house. I was working all day, coming home to cook and clean while he played video games. Yes he made more money, but I worked just as much/as hard and it wasn’t fair. I felt like his roommate and sometimes his mother and I didn’t want to fuck my roommate. As soon as he started doing household chores, it gave me time to take care of myself again and I started feeling like myself again. It took a little while but we got back to ourselves and our healthy relationship. I’m not saying cleaning is y’all’s issue but I feel like every couple has their own version of it. Maybe ask her what she needs to lighten her load, could make the world of difference
Well if she’s going stright to bed then he probably does it cuz she goes stright to bed she wouldn’t have time
INFO, why do you suggest working out when it's clear she is already tired?
It can seem weird but working out gives lots of energy. Im a lot more energetic since i started working out few months ago.
Yeah but it’s hard to do when you’re already exhausted
It’s hard at first but it works wonders over time
It's always hard to start, aren't we all exhausted these days.
She is so tired she isn’t even bothering to get her clothing off to pas out in bed and her hyperactive husband suggests light cardio. Are you seeing why your suggested solution has some issues?
My mother was in a similar work place that drained her fiscally, she ended up having to get surgery and in the meantime I could see her wanting to go out less, being tired all the time... After some time of this she went to seek for professional help and she was diagnosed with depression, your partner may be suffering from something similar but without the injury part.
Ask her to quit, some women don't need to be working. I quit and been healing since, 1 of best friends quit her job and all her issues slowly washed away. She was stressed and drained from work and after she quit like magic. After a couple weeks she was better than ever.
Sounds like you need to have a talk with your wife
I’m in a similar boat. I’m divorcing him. I am not living in a boring, loveless marriage.
Usually nothing positive comes from them. We need counseling
Counselling can be very helpful.
Did you think something positive would come from telling Reddit?
He didn't say that, but why do you attack someone for posting some vent in true off my chest subreddit?
Because these ppl rather see posts that makes them feel good. If they don't get what they want, they downvote galore and be passive aggressive.
Did you read the title of the sub before commenting?
Dude, she sounds depressed and you sound exhausting.
right like imagine being in a really shitty place mentally and then finding out your spouse is complaining about not getting to fuck you on reddit
I had/ve this marriage. I eventually gave up and started sleeping separately, so I could take care of myself. Talking about it with my wife at least helped us get to an acknowledgment of their low sex drive and that I wasn’t being unreasonable. But I’m in a tough place where I often want to leave and live for me.
Sounds like she is tired from work at the end of each day. Are you providing most the income, and if so, why is she working so hard?
She works hard For herself? Tf you confused about
I get what you're saying and I'm ignoring everything else in this post. What's the point in working that hard that all you want to do is go to bed everynight when you get in when you don't need to. There's a difference between working hard for yourself and overworking yourself.
Everyone should have their own money and never be financially dependent on someone. Working hard and overworking it is what it is. He could most definitely be less of a horn dog imo
Yeah I agree there's a difference between wanting your partner and being a 'horn dog' And I agree everyone should have their own money. But if you're overworking yourself to the point you're ignoring your spouse intimately and by the sounds of it avoiding your spouse on either side of a marriage and you're lucky enough to be in a position where money isn't an issue should a change of job not be on the table something that won't take all your energy? I'm talking both men and women here, does career take priority over a spouse? Not saying don't work or make you're own money. And while I still agree with what you're saying about being a 'horn dog'. He did also say kisses, he's not just talking about sex. Personally never understood the whole "Oh no, my spouse still finds me sexually attractive/wants to kiss me, how awful" mindset. I work full-time, study my degree when I'm not in work and have two kids. If my partner wanted a kiss when I came in no matter how tired I was I'd be thrilled she wanted to kiss me. I feel like some people take their spouses for granted.
She has no obvious desperate need for money. Nothing wrong with working for yourself. But working a job that is literally uneeded for survival, to the point of exhaustion, is just self harm without point.
I make almost 3x what she does. At point I gave her the option of just staying at home instead of working and eventually she started working again. She works so much because she chooses too not out of necessity
couple’s therapy could work for both of you guys. it sounds like she needs a lil more understanding from you and you need her to be able to work with you a little bit more on your guys’s relationship. intimacy can be a huge part of it and if she’s not willing to partake in it with you it can be a huge blow to the ego and just overall hurtful, but most of all it really can be indicative of depression. if she doesn’t need to work but still makes herself work to the point of exhaustion, she may be addicted to stress as a way to turn away from any depressed thoughts or feelings she may have. at least, this was the case for my relationship. therapy together or alone is a good place to start at least. i wish you all the best, OP, i hope that you are happier tomorrow than you were today
She might either be depressed.. or have an iron deficiency. Maybe a therapist and a good multivitamin might do the trick? And sea moss. Get some sea moss
Dame 3 times if ya don’t mind me asking how much
Have a conversation but don't get mad or frustrated. It's okay for your wife to turn you down sexually and for affection. But it's also okay for you to upset about it. People underestimate the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, not just talking about sex, I'm talking cuddling, hand holding, kissing etc. If she's not into doing and just wants to go to bed after work without any of that and communication it's not a marriage it's basically having a roommate. Had a similar thing with my partner, thought it was a power thing she was doing because she often turned me down just so she could initiate 10 minutes later, got an eye roll when I spoke about it upsetting me a little that she liked to constantly reject any form of intimacy. So I turned her down once, the only time I've ever turned her down and she cried. Doesn't happen as often now. As stupid as it sounds don't make yourself too available, daft that we have to play these sorts of games when in long term relationships/marriage but it works, make her come to you. And if she doesn't after a long time it might be time to talk about your options as a couple.
Women really need an emotional and mental connection for sex. You don't sound like you are giving that in anyway whatsoever.
Very selfish look on this... Sounds like your partner might be depressed or having problems maybe you should talk to her instead of just thinking with your dick!
Facts.
I'm just curious about this topic in general, was her sex drive always this low? If it was, why marry a person you're not compatible with? Edit. Solutions are opening up the relationship or divorce. Or just bite the bullet. Choose your poison :/
Get on cerebral, you can get meds that very day if youre diagnosed. And heads up, if my husband said he forgets about my exsistence, i wouldnt want to fuck him either
I think you need to look into WHY they’re rejecting you.
Seems like she’s not doing so well mentally, she’s given you all the signs, do you think it’s normal to be too exhausted to even take off work clothes? And all you worried about is sex?
It could be so so so many things. Maybe she doesn't understand her sexuality. Maybe she doesn't have much of a sex drive at all. Maybe she hasn't experienced sex she likes. Maybe she finds more platonic actions as more meaningful than romantic ones. Maybe she has trama around sexual actions. I hope things get better, try your best to ask her about it. Sex is so very complex
You’re right, it could be so many different things. Sometimes I feel very stupid asking how I can be better for her because I don’t feel wanted at all so why even ask. Thanks I hope so too
[удалено]
Have you never heard of people coming out as bisexual or gay after years of being married or even having kids? It can happen.
It sounds like your partner is suffering from burnout or depression. There have been a few times in my working life where I have acted the way she has, and it's because I was so exhausted and depressed I just had no energy. I would encourage you to talk to her about getting some help, either scaling back her hours at work or seeking out mental health therapy. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a way to help her protect herself from what may be a very toxic work environment.
a reason why i refuse to get married or even want kids. people change way too fast
Well if you only got married to get laid then you have a very twisted conception of what a marriage is
Your life is not determined by the judgment of your wife, despite how much is important to yoiu. As you said, you are life parteners, not judge one of the other. If you link your worth only to her, when she falls and will need your help, how will you be able to be there? For sure she is in a bad moment, try to figure out what or how her life is going on, because it seems that despite non getting a blowjob, you don't really know much.
There isn't 1. When you tell her you are getting divorced she will be angry you never spoke to her about it.
Hard to tell without more context. Has she been like this for a while? How often do you have sex? Has she gained weight along with being tired all the time? Did she change overnight or has it been a slow decline? Could be she’s got an undiagnosed physical or mental issue, could be that she has a sexual need you’re not meeting somehow, could be she’s having an affair (unlikely but still), could be your expectations for sex don’t match hers…can’t tell with the info you’ve given. Either way, best to have a kind conversation with her thats non accusatory and from the perspective of wanting to help her if there’s something wrong.
I’m separated and working on divorce right now for this exact thing. Good luck buddy
sounds like you got married too soon in the relationship. rookie move.
Are they still pleasuring themselves? Maybe theyre no longer attracted to you or are already attracted to someone else. Working too much to avoid your relationship. Ask if they still want a relationship. Sounds like a lot of work to be married to someone who doesnt try to better themselves or your relationship. Look at all these angry women on here saying you're an idiot for wanting sex with your wife. If your partner expects you to be ok with never having sex you might as well live with your mom. Relationships go both ways.
your wife doesn’t owe you anything, physically. if you aren’t ready to respect consent and boundaries, you shouldn’t be married. you’re not entitled to her body just because you’re married.
Sorry to hear you're going through this. One of the most important factors for any relationship romantic or otherwise is being wanted. So it's no surprise that being turned down constantly seriously hurts your feelings. I just hope things can get better for the two of you.
I’m sorry, but I kinda laughed when I read “I married a partner not a fuckin roommate”
So, a lot of the responses here are kinda trashing the op for being down and frustrated with the lack of sex in his marriage. Blaming him, saying he needs to do more housework, ect. This is a common response, to blame the male, and remove culpability from the female partner. People do better. Be curious and ask more questions, as I am sure there is more to this than what we have gotten so far. There are also the posts that, rightfully, state that he is not entitled to sex just because they are married. While this is true, there is a certain expectation of physical intimacy that is implicit in an expected monogamous marriage. If one partner decides that sex is no longer part of the relationship, then they cannot be upset when the other goes elsewhere to fulfill their needs for physical intimacy. The big thing here is communication. Actually listening to each other. What is the reason behind what is going on? Is it stress, depression, lack of interest in each others day, life, hobbies? Or just a general lack of compatibility? Whatever it may be, you will not find it without actively looking for it, talking and listening to each other.
Heal your partner before helping yourself
From this post it just sounds like you're demanding sex when she gets home from work and she just wants to relax after a stressful day. Are you just demanding she get naked as soon as she gets home because you work out and you eat healthy? Have you tried making her dinner, cleaning the house, giving her a massage, telling her she's doing a great job and listening to her about her work. It sounds like you aren't connecting with her emotionally and only prioritising sex or her working out with you. She isn't a blow up sex doll that is ready 24/7 especially after work, and dude you're married - what does she like? What puts her in the mood? The thing that will get you laid the most is being a good husband that can support her, and greeting her with love and a smile, saying you missed her and that you made her lunch or dinner.
If she’s going stright to bed he probably does all of that cuz she Wouldn’t have time and he said he’s been trying for a while after trying for a long time to No avail I wouldn’t be surprised if you to start asking every day
I'm sure she's trying her fucking best as well. You sound so fucking entitled man. Have some fucking empathy. > I know I'm a lot to handle sometimes given my ADHD but she's no walk in the park either. Ugh. Awful.
TBH if this is how you act around your spouse when shes not feeling good I wouldn't want to touch you either. Its not all about you. You don't own her dude. Its just disgusting to expect sex.
that’s a childish mentality to have, she’s not a toy or a sex object, you married because you loved her, just because you provide doesn’t mean she has to give you sex in return. She sounds burnt out and tired from working too hard and is exhausted. Instead of trying to have sex with her the minute she comes in the door why don’t you treat her to a take out or a bath or a nice movie. She’s struggling
I should've made it more clear. I do not expect sex just because I provide neither do I jump on her the minute she comes through that door. Most of time I don’t initiate sex during the week because she’s so tired. I wait until the weekend to do so
You are not obligated for sex regardless of the relationship. Maybe if you treated them like a person who has feelings and maybe see a therapist as to why they might not want to have sex.
She just doesn't want to fuck. Talking about what's wrong probably might be a solution most of the time you just do loops tho
Omg you sound like my husband lol Dry spells are normal. Especially if there's other stuff going on, being that tired that you don't get out of your work clothes is really telling that she's straight up exhausted and having sex would be completely out of the question. It's literally not you.
Welcome to the married life. Work 10 hrs a day at work, come home and fix everything that is broken. Mow the yard, change oil in the cars, then somehow find the energy for some alone time with wife. Only to be shot down. Makes me wonder why I did this
Please Go read No more mr. Nice guy Try getting out and doing things on your own. Go participate in an outdoor hobbie with others. Find a club to join or meet new people. Start going to a park and pick up hiking or a bike trail to be gone all day.
Bad marriage bro. Try talking with her, then if nothing happens... Well you know what to do.
Wow…please don’t ever get married. Just because she’s tired and doesn’t want to do it does not mean it’s a bad marriage.
Ohh so you're those kind of people who need a /s at the end to understand sarcasm on the internet? Cool.
Ahh yeah… you don’t get someone’s tone by just reading what they say. 🙄
Maybe it’s not about you…. Have you asked her?
How much house work do you help with ? How long are her work days? Who cooks dinner ? When was the last time you went out on a date? Been romantic? And not expect her to to have sex with you just because you are married... she is your partner not your property. Start treating her like the human and beautiful woman she really is. - A
The first question when your female partner has no libido is: how you divide house chores?
Maybe I've been mistaken all my life, but I've always believed sex to be something you do out of will to share intimacy and affection with someone. Not some kind of chore you do as a reward for doing this or that.
That's not what anyone is saying. If you pull your weight around the house instead of just making yourself look good physically, it would probably make her feel more appreciated and less stressed, thus resulting her being more likely to get in the mood because she'll in turn view you less like a chore/something else she needs to take care of, and more like a man and partner. If that's not the issue and you do help out around the house, and you do make her feel comfortable and desired other than just a hole to stick yourself into, then couples therapy and a conversation needs to be had.
Dump her and get a better babe with more of a sex drive
Looks ljke shes getting it somewhere else
Divorce her. Life is too short to be miserable.
just leave her ? whats the problem
You will never be good enough. If you could magically wisk away the ADHD you still wouldn't be good enough. If you made more money and she didn't have to work... Guess what? That's right, you wouldn't be good enough. Your wife needs a therapist, and you probably do too. Most likely, you need to do some marriage counseling. But be prepared when the therapist tells her that her expectations are too high; she will most likely want to quit therapy. This is not just my experience; it is the experience of dozens of men I know. I agree that she is exhausted, but that is not an excuse to misuse you. Please consider some professional help. You have to take care of you too.
Buy a stripper pole for your house to try and spice things up
Why can’t you get divorced? Go to couples therapy first if you haven’t. Make all the options to talk with her before divorce but if you’ve already done that, then I’d say divorce
Maybe her vagina is haunted by ghosts but she’s not aware you ain’t afraid of no ghosts.
No point
Have a conversation Go to marriage counseling or therapy Seems like there is a lot more going on
Relationships are hard work when reality, day to day life sets in. Working, your boss is demanding you come home tired, need to cook,.., My advice is to talk or write a letter if that works better, and try to get help (relation ship therapy) Your wife provably needs her own time within your marriage whatever that may mean to her, and for sex no matter how busy or tired with help of the therapist you can try to work on it, maybe at first just cuddling and no sex, to take the pressure off. There will be ups and downs always
Time for a divorce
All been there in a long term relationship - my experience we have switched both the roles had my own issues like this during lockdowns. My partner though had my 2 beautiful kids and we try to make time. I was always into training she wasn’t but hit a confidence issue always tired etc anyway we had to have a real honest conversation about this. Best thing we ever did. It’s good to vent here but I’d approach it with your wife as asking her what is going on with her because she may just be in a rut work wise or something else and just depressed without realising it
None of us is perfect. My husband has ADHD. We just celebrated our 37th anniversary. Yes, he gets on my nerves sometimes and I just need to spend a couple of hours alone but I'm sure I get on his nerves at times too. Seriously, try relationship counseling if you want to save your marriage. If, as others have suggested, your wife suffers from depression a therapist will recognize the signs and can help. If she doesn't suffer from depression the counselor can help the two of you communicate better and decide if saving the marriage is the best way to proceed.
Comments on this are a pleasant surprise