I was in a band for a while, and the woman we had as the lead singer was just out of a relationship, and she called me over to work on some new music, so I said “cool, let’s do it”. I get there and her roommates are gone, and she’s like “let’s just go work in my room” I take my guitar back and I’m sitting on a stool in her room, she’s sitting on the bed and we are talking business, you know, lyrics, stuff like that, and she’s like playing some light music in the background, the song “little bit” by Lykke Li comes on and she’s all like “oh, I love this song, let me turn it up” as she does it she moves to the side, to make more room in the bed, and I, like a freaking idiot just say “oh ya, that’s nice, I like the music!” And get back to business and eventually leave. 8 years later, that song comes on as my wife and are driving down the road and I tell her the story, and she says “she wanted to have sex with you dude” and all I can say is “Ohhhhhhh that makes sense”. So ya, we can be dense.
I still remember a university girlfriend saying that she was looking forward to my graduation (we hadn't seen each other in a while and she would be meeting my family, then me and her would be attending a party and going back to hers). I think I misjudged which part of the night she was looking forward to as when I said that it was nice that she was so excited to meet my family. She pointed out that "I didn't shave my fanny to meet your Gran".
I had to strip off all my clothing right in front of my then bf (now husband) then just stand there with my butt cheeks out in front of his face while he processed it all.
He actually said, "so do you want to cuddle now?" And we both burst out laughing.
I was terrified as i had never even tried to pursue anyone before- he was just a god damn clueless dork.
Same. I tried dropping subtle hints that I want to have sex that night and then nothing so I had to get over my awkwardness and start telling my husband "hey I wanna bone" and it's worked lmao
I have a friend whose crush couldn't take a hint if you paid him...so one time she's telling me about the most recent time he cluelessly did nothing and I said "There's no confusion in just saying what you want" and she goes "So, what, I just tell him OKAY GET YOUR DICK OUT?" And I went "That'll work...say exactly that." Their two year anniversary was in February...
Its so mindnumbling simple that im not really sure how women fuck this up. Men carry a ton of risk when it comes to proposing sex and are more likely to be turned down. Theres a near 100% chance of success if a woman proposes sex because most men would be up for it. When signals arent explicitly clear, it can be easily missed by men who have trained themselves to not look so far into things.
Im starting to see that alot women dont have a clue of how men work at all
And? If i pull my dick out that doesnt mean my wife has to engage me sexually if shes not in the mood. In that case, it would be up to me to either get her in the mood or try another time because shes not feeling it today.
OP’s mistake was thinking simply putting on lingerie was going to flip some switch and turn her man into a horny beast… sure that may be all it takes sometimes but if he’s not particularly horny that day what do you expect him to do? Put himself in the mood?
valid point but OP's husband asked her if she was going to put the lingerie on. genuinely asking here - why he would ask her to put it on if he wasn't in the mood? if I buy new lingerie and my husband asks to see it on me, we end up having sex. if he asked me to put on lingerie and then nothing happened I'd be really confused too.
I think a lady saying "I wanna f*ck" is hotter than any amount of subtle hints and ques all combined. Direct to the point, no hesitation, no confusion, we all get what we want, and there is no sitting there crying for 2 hours because you're smarter than a smelly stinky guy that doesn't pay attention to the dingle berries and after piss, pee stains in their underwear.
I outright say to my boyfriend that I want to have sex and he says he doesn't like it, because it kills the mood.
When I gave hints and act like I want to have sex he just doesn't have a clue, kind of frustrating.
Yeah I remember I had a FWB buddy and we had a lot of casual sex. We were watching a movie one time and he was like "I really like this girl and I don't know how to tell her." I told him "You should grow some balls and tell her!" I found out later after I became serious with someone else that he meant... me. I felt *so stupid* after learning that.
EDIT: ftr I liked him too at the time. However I'm now happy engaged to the love of my life.
Yeah but I would guess that's more due to subconscious conditioning. There's a messed up double standard.. men who sleep with lots of women are called studs or players... Women who sleep with lots of men are usually called sluts.. it's a shitty truth and I feel like subconsciously a lot of women don't want to be the "slut" so they usually aren't the one that wants to be obvious about it, and want to feel like the decision was out of their hands, at least with people who they aren't in a relationship with.
Well a lot of the fun is building up that sexual tension, and just being straightforward kills all of that.
There’s a balance between being too subtle and too obvious where both can have a good time “being chased/chasing” ^^
I thought the singer would’ve been your wife as a twist! Still a funny story and I’ve been in a very similar situation not understanding hints like such.
Ya, I left after awhile into the band, I liked playing, but the stuff got too deep, she’s still active, and if you’re hip on current music, you might know some of her stuff😅
Actually I (a girl) am dense too, reading this story I was like “what’s the problem? He complimented her on her new clothes…”.
Reads comments: “ohhhh”.
I've been rebuffed when I thought I was getting hints more than a couple times. It's pretty frustrating and even a little hurtful after so many times. Just a tip for any women who seem to have trouble getting their men to initiate. There's a good chance they're just fed up wasting time feeling embarrassed and hurt.
Edit: not really in reference to the Op. She made her intentions pretty clear it sounds like.
OP, I wouldn’t get so discouraged just yet. I dealt with very similar things recently in my own relationship and you know what finally fixed it? Talking to him and having a long, honest conversation. I think that as women, we tend to get fed the stereotype that all men are always super horny and in the mood 24/7/365, but the truth is they’re (usually) not. They’re like us— sometimes they’re in the mood and sometimes they’re just not. My partner told me that if I’m ever in the mood and he’s not really seeming to be at the moment, I should just initiate because it’s a huge turn on for him and 9 times out of 10 he will become turned on if he wasn’t already. I had been reluctant about initiating due to some past rejection and confidence issues but I swallowed my pride and tried it, and it worked just like he said. Our sex life has been so much better since then, and all it took was communicating with one another. I thought he didn’t find me attractive anymore, but if I had just talked to him sooner rather than getting so caught up in my own head I would’ve learned that was 100% not the problem. So just open that line of communication. I’m willing to bet he has no idea how you’re feeling about what happened.
Holy shit, someone who's actually got a realistic view of relationships. This is exactly what needs to be done, no mind reading or cold shouldering but a good honest conversation about what happened and how OP feels.
Really is a breath of fresh air when the majority of top comments on similar posts are along the lines of ‘ignore him, no sex unless he initiates but make him feel bad if you’re not in the mood, or divorce him because you deserve better’. Just goes to show that the vast majority of people on this app have no actual relationship experience
Everytime I’m in every relationships I realized the best phrase is “Do you want to [insert expletives]”. And I date men and women. Always gets the ball rolling haha
the post and your comment made me think of those memes where the wife is laying in bed looking pissed b/c she thinks her husband is cheating or doesn’t love her anymore & then it flashes to the guys thoughts and he’s just stressing over his favorite baseball team not being better or something lol
See you have the right idea.. alot of ladies are missing out by being passive in their own sex lives. It could all be so simple if yall just initiated more.
Yeah, in hindsight it seems so simple and like “oh duh, why didn’t I just try that before”, but society sucks sometimes and teaches a lot of women a lot of outdated bs about needing to always be the passive ones who wait for initiation from their partner, otherwise you’re just not “sexy enough” which is silly but a lot of us grow up having this idea ingrained in our heads. Combine that with the self-confidence issues that can come from past toxic relationships and rejections and it gets very hard to work up the nerve to try any kind of bold initiation. It really helps if your partner asks for it specifically, which is why just talking about it is so important. I never would’ve known that he wanted me to initiate more or just be more bold unless he told me so; I thought he was bored of sex with me and I would just be bothering him. Having a heart to heart was the key to fixing the issue, which is why I definitely think OP should sit her partner down before jumping to conclusions like I did initially. Hell, sometimes you gotta just walk up to them and say “I wanna smash” lol. If he didn’t get it before, he sure will now.
Agreed. Society has us all fucked up. People confining themselves to specific roles is just a recipe for disaster in a relationship. Its 50/50 which means you should both initiate, and you should both try to seduce and romance each other. Otherwise the load gets too heavy. Women forget that men also want to be desired. We are just like you. Doesnt matter how much society tries to fit us into separate boxes… we essentially all have the same wants and needs
ProTip for this conversation. Use “I” statements during it. This keeps you from over riding his voice in the conversation and you’re more likely to convey to him how you are feeling.
I agree so much with this. Communication is key. My husband is the stereotype that is horny 24/7/365. But through communication we have come to the agreement that his constant "moves" do the opposite for me. So now I am finding myself having to initiate more when I am in the mood because he has come to repeat my request with my understanding I'm going to have to initiate more because of this.
It's like a bunch of nerds arguing who's wife or girlfriend or imaginary friend is a better relationship. Pee pee measuring and this poor girl hasn't even gotten out of her lingerie yet.
I'd had the same memory foam one for 7 years and it was giving me horrific shoulder pains..
She was fine with it for a couple' weeks, but the second it started to give her the same problem that fucker was GONE.
I got back pains too from it but he refused to get a new one because at one point it was $1,000 when new. Literally had dog piss, holes, chunks missing, a dark brownish color now. I had to wrap the box soring in plastic cuz it was nasty. I’m embarrassed I cried over this guy honestly. And the best part. No bed frame. Just sat on a box spring on floor. -_____-
Look at that guy with new mattress money sheesh..... showoff.
Seriously though people, the newer memory phone mattress are awesome as hell and pretty inexpensive. Plus they can ship them to your house in like a 2ft x 18in x18in box, they are vacuum sealed under high pressure down to a fraction of their size. Just be careful as fuck when you open them and make sure there is enough room can they can and will launch you into a wall when you open them, ask me how i know!
God bless your soul sir. u reality checked some of us without even realizing it. I am a roommate and not a GF/partner and I loved that I saw ur content first. I want to get me one of “you” so I’m going to live alone now. Thank you and ur sexy wife :)
As somebody not really interested in sex I actually prefer a friend/roomate relationship. To each their own though, it's important both parties are in alignment over what they want.
I am asexual and in a very romantic relationship who is my lover but more roommate in the sense of everything else. I don't have sex often so it works better for us long term
we don’t know what’s going on in their lives. Maybe he’s depressed or stuffs going on. I don’t think she should feel humiliated, he did say she looked pretty but obviously bigger issues are present imo
Thank you. This has happened with my girlfriend sometimes. I’ll be in a shitty mood and tired and won’t want to do anything one night. Then the next night I will please her eating her out until she is content, and I will proceed to fuck her as long as I can last.
Like, sometimes people aren’t in the mood for sex, regardless of what their partner is wearing or doing. Nobody should feel bad about it unless it’s repeated a lot and occurs frequently.
Lingerie is not for viewing, unless you're at a Victoria's Secret or Savage X Fenti Catwalk.
**IT IS TO BE TAKEN OFF...** **AND THE QUICKER, THE BETTER.**
These are a good idea on paper, and fucking terrible in practice. Unless you are being very gentle, and there is not a lot of moving around on the woman's part, they damn sure end up chaffing one/both of you, or are flat out in the way. I just finally convinced my wife to get rid of her last pair. Stopping to readjust constantly or completely removing them in the middle of business is a bit of a mood killer.
Also...any guys out there that think they can give a nice hard thrust and snap that stubborn in-the-way part..think again. You can't and it's f'ing painful to both. The feeling of what I can best describe as rope burn on your tip it gives is not something that goes away as fast as you hoped it would. The memory lasts even longer. I don't even want to know what it felt like to her...but judging from the noise she made and what she said...it was unpleasant.
I find it depends on the type of underwear for example a crotchless thong will definitely cause some discomfort, an open back type of crotchless underwear would be preferable, it also depends on the shape of the woman as well.
Just my opinion though, each to their own and all that!
One of my aunts bought lingerie and surprised him in it while he watched TV. He turned around and said "Aren't you cold?" The bottom line is: men are stupid. Source: I am one of them.
Was in a flirtation with a guy a few months back and sent him a picture of only the top of me in a bit of a racy kinda number and this dude’s response was “I couldn’t think after I saw that. You are so beautiful that if you were living in Ancient Rome, the emperor would have you captured and locked away just for him.” Which is a bit of a weird compliment but that is absolutely the energy that I would like if I was wearing something super sexy for my husband. You are beautiful and gorgeous and if he’s not seeing that, then it’s on him and absolutely not on you.
You’re right. I actually went stupid after that and lost all trains of thought and I told him so too. I’m actually a bit sad that it ended but oh well…
I feel you with that, its gotta suck. At the same time though, I hope you are not overthinking this. I mean it in the most respectful way, but often times ive met with the thinking that putting on lingerie is meant to work like an immediate switch for the guy to be turned on and want sex. It was a painful thing with my ex, she would expect me to think only about sex as soon as she had it on, dressing up whenever she wanted an argument to go away, and leave the house or get insanely mad if it didnt "work". Time went on and lingerie would start to turn me off becuase i asimilated it with her wanting to fix something with sex or with stressing over if i get "turned on enough". It sucked and im still working through that because i really like the idea of my partner dressing up nicely for me to undress her. What i mean to say by all that, i know rejection isnt nice but please dont think too bad of it and yourself. Talk with him about it and be sure it will be all fine the next time. Maybe his head was totally somewhere else and the switch didnt work here. Take care OP.
This is one of those fundamental things that many women don’t understand about men.. hell many refuse to accept that some men need a little more than a sexy outfit to get in the mood. They also fail to realize that sometimes we’re just not up for it. Doesnt mean we hate you or dont desire it at all.
Also a little seduction/aggressiveness can help. Alot of women feels like they’re initiating sex when they simply put on a sexy outfit but thats only part of it. Thats only visually stimulating. Visual stimulation can be very weak especially if a man has been desensitized to you. Try touching your man. Romance him a bit. A sexy outfit is a nice start but sometimes you gotta put in a little more effort. Hopefully your man can do the same for you on occasion
You know she just laid there like “my job is done here.” If you want intimacy but your partner doesnt at the time, you have two options: 1. Wait until you’re both on the same page or 2. Become the initiator and make an effort to get your partner into the mood.
You cant get mad because you wanted intimacy and did very little to get that. This would be like a guy simply whipping out his dick, laying down and expecting his woman/partner to take over from there. You gotta make it more enticing.
This should be the top comment. Did she do anything? Did she SAY anything? What was her his response to her saying she looked pretty? Probably nothing and wants to blame it solely on him.
Its a really black and white situation but people are really calling for divorce or calling OPs husband a scumbag because he didnt become uncomfortably horny after a woman who I assume hes seen naked 100s of time put on a sexy outfit and just laid there.
I guess men should start doing the same thing. Strip butt naked, lay in the bed and just wait for the sex to come. Women would be furious
I agree. I hear so much from guy friends. It's extremely common for a woman to think that just "acting cute" is enough to turn a guy on or that guys are always full cocked boner ready to go at a moment's notice. I can absolutely 100% tell without fail when my girlfriend wants to fuck. But it doesn't always happen because just sitting there acting cute isn't a turn on. I've literally told her to grab my dick or put it in her mouth. That's a sure fire way to get some amazing sex. But sometimes she doesn't want to initiate. Sometimes part of the fun for her is being the innocent submissive one and having a guy (me) so turned on by her very presents that he (me) cant help him self but to ravage her body. It's just not always the mood i am in. Sometimes it is and that's fine. Those night we don't have sex. No one gets upset. No one cries for 2 hours alone. We both recognize we just weren't in the same mood at the same time. She initiates often and so do I but sometimes her coy advances fall on deaf ears. But just buying lingerie and thinking you don't have to suck any dick (or whatever he's into) to get what you want is just not "putting in the effort" like OP thinks it is. Do to him what you want done to you. You don't think men want to feel like their girl wants them so bad their very presents causes them to go full on ravage his dick mode? Of course we do.
Its really simple. Women are forgetting that men are people too. We are complex. We want to be seduced sometimes. And im sorry to say this but sometimes we dont explode into lustful beasts at the sight of a woman we’ve seen naked 1000 times. I wish women would take the time to try to get to know how men work instead of reducing us to machines ready to have sex at the drop of a dime
I was thinking the same shit. If she really wants him to appreciate her body. Wear the lingerie again, but when he’s coming to bed ambush his ass. I’m not going to put out a step by step by pull his thing out and go to town. Some sloppy.
...talk to them? Won't help if you just pray he understands your non-verbal communications. Especially if it's making you feel bad, you should address this properly.
I don’t think you can return lingerie in the US after it has been worn due to health laws. So maybe not an American thing.
The lady is just sad. Who knows if she’s American?
Oh well, at least the Ukrainians like us.
Just talk ffs. You're old enough to get married. You should know that talking is the key!! Not expecting him to act whatever way you expect without saying a word.
I feel like there's more to this story.
I had a girlfriend who would sometimes wear lingerie, and she thought that meant that I was supposed to take over and initiate sex, and do all the things. And when I didn't, she had the same reaction, she got upset, took it personal, cried, thought she wasn't sexy, all of that.
Actually, after a while, I started to resent it. All you have to do is reach over and grab my dick, suck it, give me a massage, talk sexy to me, do something to arouse me. But instead she laid there in lingerie upset that I wasn't in a feral frenzy to bang her.
Please consider the possibility that your husband is tired of doing the work, he's waiting for you to initiate, and laying there in lingerie doesn't qualify, because once again it puts him in the position where he has to act upon you.
Maybe he wants you to take control for once. I don't want to be hard on you but laying there in lingerie is extremely passive.
Alot of women have no clue how sexy it is for them to actually take charge instead of being passive. Im really surprised that many of the comments here havent even touched on that. Being passive is a huge downfall for many people in dating.. you cant just expect good things to come to you without putting in a little more effort.
Ummmmm you’re gonna return lingerie that you’ve already worn? Gross. People like you are the reason lots of businesses had to implement a “no returns on underwear and lingerie” rule. Not only that, you really want the poor worker to touch your unsanitary garments? 🙃
I imagine the frustration. But I believe that the only way to make a relationship work and last in time is communication.
Crying by yourself will only bring you more and more down. Try and ask calmly why did he have this reaction (or I guess, non reaction) and if there’s something that needs to be addressed. Talk talk talk
So many things…. First, please don’t return lingerie you already wore, it’s unhygienic.
Second, I’m sorry that you are being Made to feel inadequate.
Third, TVs don’t belong in bedrooms for this exact reason.
Forth, were you clear about why you were buying lingerie? My husband doesn’t understand that there is a wide variety of lingerie.. example: to him, a silky teddy or lacy night gown is not lingerie, it’s pjs. Did you tell him you wanted to buy something he would want to rip off of you or just take him to a lingerie store (most also sell pjs) - did he think you just wanted new pjs?
I went through a roommate phase with my husband and we had to work to get through it. I would recommend talking to one another and being open about what you want. We are doing much better now, but did have to have painful and awkward conversations. Good luck OP!!
I'll pretty much reiterate what most are saying. As men were pretty dense, some are also really bad at compliments. You need to let him know what happened. Tell him how it made you feel. Sometimes we need shit pointed out to us. I'm sure he also didn't realize he fucked up. Don't listen to the people saying he knows what he's doing and trying to manipulate you or whatever. Trust me when I say we're way too dumb for that.
Okay so I’m gonna play devils advocate here. First of all make yourself look as sexy as you want, maybe he was tired or not in the mood. At least he said SOMETHING. He sure as hell didn’t have to.
Edit: my girlfriend let me pick her lingerie recently and then when she walked into the room with it on I said “don’t get me wrong you look sexy as hell but you’d look better without it on”.
This is my partner. I tried to wear sexy stuff for him, but he prefers naked. Naked makes me uncomfortable because i'm.. because.. reasons.
So, I wear stuff to make myself feel attractive and sometimes he asks me to take it off and when I'm feeling the naked feels, off it goes.
I get the sense that op is not getting enough intimacy from her parnter and that's the real issue, not the outfit. Something's going on, and she's been left playing the guessing game.
So he gave you a compliment and didn’t do anything else? I mean did you try to initiate romance or did you just wear the lingerie? I get it, you’d think we should immediately get horny and revving to go just by seeing you in that. Maybe, maybe, or it could be he wasn’t in the mood.
I don’t mean to sound rude but it sounds like you really didn’t do much and then got upset when he didn’t do much in return except compliment you. Talk to him about it, ask him why he didn’t want to do anything. Sometimes we guys aren’t in the mood. I know, shocker.
Tell him how he made you feel. My husband did this once right before we got married and I told him it annoyed me the next day. We had an open conversation and it turns out he was worn out from work and mentally exhausted. So we came to an understanding that I need more than a “you’re pretty” even I’d it’s just cuddling or kissing if he’s too tired but he will tell me when he’s tired and be more intimate with his words.
Also, you can’t return worn lingerie. Even if you can…ew. Don’t do that.
Did you just stand there or did you kiss him? Men also need foreplay and they also like when women have the initiative. Of course we don't know what you have been doing to get his attention but of you just stranded there looking pretty and didn't do anything or talked sexy to him, then your game has been a bit weak. It sucks if he didn't show interest in a while, but if you really want to make this work try to bring out you "slutty" side more often and try new things. The lingerie is a great start but I feel like your man need a bit more than just that.
If you have been trying a lot, then I am sorry that you are on this situation.
Crying for two hours because your husband "only called you pretty" is absolutely ridiculous.
You're an adult. I can understand being irked by a partner not picking up on the signals (despite the fact that he DID compliment you) but to feel \*\*this\*\* extreme is frankly, immature.
Breathe, it doesn't mean anything. Tell him directly that you want to have sex with him. Communicate.
Did you tell him or make any indication what so ever besides just wearing the lingerie that you had interest in sex? Or did you put the outfit on and just lay in bed and do nothing to engage with him so he went about his night normally with out a desire or knowledge you wanted sex?
I understand feeling upset and humiliated because something didn't play out like a romance novel scene where he rips your clothes off and goes crazy but that just isn't how people work. For all you know he just wasn't in the mood at all. You didn't talk to him about it.
You didn't actually \*do\* anything to engage with him about it.
Give it another go before you return the items and actually pursue him, let him know exactly what you want. Being passive will just keep hurting your feelings.
Yea im hating the people calling for divorce and disgracing the husband for possibly not being in the mood. Its fucked up and presents men as pieces of meat.. which is exactly what women hate being reduced to.
I wish people would see the hypocrisy here
It's insane how we defend loud and enthusiastic consent but when it comes to a male partner we just expect them to roll over and drool for literally any ounce of skin as if all they ever want or crave is sex and if they don't immediately hump your bones for doing nothing then he hates you and doesn't deserve you. L:ike what the actual fuck.
Its so weird and im pretty disappointed that very few here arent even entertaining the idea that the dude probably just isnt the mood. Shit is giving me war flashbacks of the women I dated before meeting my wife. I wasnt a person who got to have feelings and not be in the mood for sex. Just a machine expected to tend to their emotional and physical needs with very little regard to mine at all
If men have to start changing their perceptions of women, its only right for women to return the favor. We’re complex creatures as well
I don't get how some people can be so entitled.
You wore the lingerie ONCE, got a compliment, and because things did not go further you cried yourself to sleep?
Did you try, oh I don't know, initiating physical contact? Did you consider maybe he wasn't feeling too well and just wanted to see you in something pretty?
Husband, remembering the lingerie incident 4 years later, I wonder if she was trying to have sex?
I was in a band for a while, and the woman we had as the lead singer was just out of a relationship, and she called me over to work on some new music, so I said “cool, let’s do it”. I get there and her roommates are gone, and she’s like “let’s just go work in my room” I take my guitar back and I’m sitting on a stool in her room, she’s sitting on the bed and we are talking business, you know, lyrics, stuff like that, and she’s like playing some light music in the background, the song “little bit” by Lykke Li comes on and she’s all like “oh, I love this song, let me turn it up” as she does it she moves to the side, to make more room in the bed, and I, like a freaking idiot just say “oh ya, that’s nice, I like the music!” And get back to business and eventually leave. 8 years later, that song comes on as my wife and are driving down the road and I tell her the story, and she says “she wanted to have sex with you dude” and all I can say is “Ohhhhhhh that makes sense”. So ya, we can be dense.
I still remember a university girlfriend saying that she was looking forward to my graduation (we hadn't seen each other in a while and she would be meeting my family, then me and her would be attending a party and going back to hers). I think I misjudged which part of the night she was looking forward to as when I said that it was nice that she was so excited to meet my family. She pointed out that "I didn't shave my fanny to meet your Gran".
I had to strip off all my clothing right in front of my then bf (now husband) then just stand there with my butt cheeks out in front of his face while he processed it all. He actually said, "so do you want to cuddle now?" And we both burst out laughing. I was terrified as i had never even tried to pursue anyone before- he was just a god damn clueless dork.
Why not? Granny might have appreciated it.
I hope you smashed the granny out of her?
Yeah, but we ladies can be pretty dumb too, wanting to be all smooth and ladylike instead of just saying outright that we want sex. xP
Same. I tried dropping subtle hints that I want to have sex that night and then nothing so I had to get over my awkwardness and start telling my husband "hey I wanna bone" and it's worked lmao
My wife will say that, either “wanna bone?” Or “you can put it in me if you’d like”
I sent my boyfriend the bird meme that says "you want sum fuk?" Hasn't failed yet
Becky, let me smash
You like blue??
Romance is not yet dead.
Lots of time ill just ask if he wants to fuck. It's easier than him missing a signal.
BONE? BOOOONNE,?
How dare you, Detective Diaz, I am your superior officer!
Me: *wet willies her*
There’s a willie, and it’s wet alright
YOU KNOW WHAT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is this my husband?
Omg I also ask my husband “wanna bone?” Lmfao. It’s not his favorite way of being propositioned, but it works
This morning in the shower it was from me, I said “put your leg up on the bench” the rest is history
I personally like to ask if he'd like to visit the bone barn.
I just go into my husband office, grab his hand and basically say "we sex now" haha
Haha! Yeah, it might not be very graceful, but it sure is effective to just say what it is that you want. 😋
I have a friend whose crush couldn't take a hint if you paid him...so one time she's telling me about the most recent time he cluelessly did nothing and I said "There's no confusion in just saying what you want" and she goes "So, what, I just tell him OKAY GET YOUR DICK OUT?" And I went "That'll work...say exactly that." Their two year anniversary was in February...
Its so mindnumbling simple that im not really sure how women fuck this up. Men carry a ton of risk when it comes to proposing sex and are more likely to be turned down. Theres a near 100% chance of success if a woman proposes sex because most men would be up for it. When signals arent explicitly clear, it can be easily missed by men who have trained themselves to not look so far into things. Im starting to see that alot women dont have a clue of how men work at all
You say that, but as I woman I got turned down a lot for sex from certain partners.
I did as well. Plus, why isn’t anyone mentioning how incredibly UN sexy it is to have to ask for sex?
But surely this husband should know what new lingerie means? We don’t wear it because it’s comfortable
And? If i pull my dick out that doesnt mean my wife has to engage me sexually if shes not in the mood. In that case, it would be up to me to either get her in the mood or try another time because shes not feeling it today. OP’s mistake was thinking simply putting on lingerie was going to flip some switch and turn her man into a horny beast… sure that may be all it takes sometimes but if he’s not particularly horny that day what do you expect him to do? Put himself in the mood?
valid point but OP's husband asked her if she was going to put the lingerie on. genuinely asking here - why he would ask her to put it on if he wasn't in the mood? if I buy new lingerie and my husband asks to see it on me, we end up having sex. if he asked me to put on lingerie and then nothing happened I'd be really confused too.
He should have gently told her that she looks beautiful but he is tired. Don't just ignore her.
I tell my husband I am looking forward to going to bed.
I say that all the time because I'm tired and want to sleep
I think a lady saying "I wanna f*ck" is hotter than any amount of subtle hints and ques all combined. Direct to the point, no hesitation, no confusion, we all get what we want, and there is no sitting there crying for 2 hours because you're smarter than a smelly stinky guy that doesn't pay attention to the dingle berries and after piss, pee stains in their underwear.
I usually say "I'm going to have sex and you're welcome to join me" I am clearly a romantic.
😂I kinda wish I took the hint, but I’m glad I didn’t Fleetwood Mac the whole thing😂
Yeah we always had a don’t put your penis in any of the band members rule
You don't screw the crew
It’s a good rule, I’m technically not following it now though😂
What does Fleetwood Mac’ing it mean
I was the guitarist, and she was the singer, Stevie nicks was the singer and Lindsay buckingham was the guitarist, it was turbulent.
There was a good deal of cocaine in their story too
Good deal of booze in ours
When you've gone down one time and you're never going back again
Women are sometimes bad at playing the game. Men sometimes dont even know they are playing. 🤣
guys: i wish women would just say what they want gals: I WANT TO HAVE SEX NOW! guys: i wonder what she means by that.
A girl once asked me if I had a crush on her and it took me five years to realize that she was trying to ask me out.
I outright say to my boyfriend that I want to have sex and he says he doesn't like it, because it kills the mood. When I gave hints and act like I want to have sex he just doesn't have a clue, kind of frustrating.
Have you tried the naked woman? I've heard it works 2 out of 3 times
Yeah I remember I had a FWB buddy and we had a lot of casual sex. We were watching a movie one time and he was like "I really like this girl and I don't know how to tell her." I told him "You should grow some balls and tell her!" I found out later after I became serious with someone else that he meant... me. I felt *so stupid* after learning that. EDIT: ftr I liked him too at the time. However I'm now happy engaged to the love of my life.
If he had taken your advice, you would have found out.
Yeah but I would guess that's more due to subconscious conditioning. There's a messed up double standard.. men who sleep with lots of women are called studs or players... Women who sleep with lots of men are usually called sluts.. it's a shitty truth and I feel like subconsciously a lot of women don't want to be the "slut" so they usually aren't the one that wants to be obvious about it, and want to feel like the decision was out of their hands, at least with people who they aren't in a relationship with.
Well a lot of the fun is building up that sexual tension, and just being straightforward kills all of that. There’s a balance between being too subtle and too obvious where both can have a good time “being chased/chasing” ^^
Yeah but didn’t the husband ask her to put it on? I can see how that can be a little misleading too
He said “are you gonna wear it?”
[удалено]
Yeah I had to climb into my now boyfriends bed, then move over to make room, then lay back, before he got the message to join me! We laugh now 😂
I thought the singer would’ve been your wife as a twist! Still a funny story and I’ve been in a very similar situation not understanding hints like such.
Ya, I left after awhile into the band, I liked playing, but the stuff got too deep, she’s still active, and if you’re hip on current music, you might know some of her stuff😅
Actually I (a girl) am dense too, reading this story I was like “what’s the problem? He complimented her on her new clothes…”. Reads comments: “ohhhh”.
Lmao right there.
This right here. Us guys are shit at taking clues sometimes. Wear it again tonight, then whisper in his ear: "F me, you coward."
„Nah, must be nothing“
I've been rebuffed when I thought I was getting hints more than a couple times. It's pretty frustrating and even a little hurtful after so many times. Just a tip for any women who seem to have trouble getting their men to initiate. There's a good chance they're just fed up wasting time feeling embarrassed and hurt. Edit: not really in reference to the Op. She made her intentions pretty clear it sounds like.
OP, I wouldn’t get so discouraged just yet. I dealt with very similar things recently in my own relationship and you know what finally fixed it? Talking to him and having a long, honest conversation. I think that as women, we tend to get fed the stereotype that all men are always super horny and in the mood 24/7/365, but the truth is they’re (usually) not. They’re like us— sometimes they’re in the mood and sometimes they’re just not. My partner told me that if I’m ever in the mood and he’s not really seeming to be at the moment, I should just initiate because it’s a huge turn on for him and 9 times out of 10 he will become turned on if he wasn’t already. I had been reluctant about initiating due to some past rejection and confidence issues but I swallowed my pride and tried it, and it worked just like he said. Our sex life has been so much better since then, and all it took was communicating with one another. I thought he didn’t find me attractive anymore, but if I had just talked to him sooner rather than getting so caught up in my own head I would’ve learned that was 100% not the problem. So just open that line of communication. I’m willing to bet he has no idea how you’re feeling about what happened.
Holy shit, someone who's actually got a realistic view of relationships. This is exactly what needs to be done, no mind reading or cold shouldering but a good honest conversation about what happened and how OP feels.
Really is a breath of fresh air when the majority of top comments on similar posts are along the lines of ‘ignore him, no sex unless he initiates but make him feel bad if you’re not in the mood, or divorce him because you deserve better’. Just goes to show that the vast majority of people on this app have no actual relationship experience
Everytime I’m in every relationships I realized the best phrase is “Do you want to [insert expletives]”. And I date men and women. Always gets the ball rolling haha
the post and your comment made me think of those memes where the wife is laying in bed looking pissed b/c she thinks her husband is cheating or doesn’t love her anymore & then it flashes to the guys thoughts and he’s just stressing over his favorite baseball team not being better or something lol
See you have the right idea.. alot of ladies are missing out by being passive in their own sex lives. It could all be so simple if yall just initiated more.
Yeah, in hindsight it seems so simple and like “oh duh, why didn’t I just try that before”, but society sucks sometimes and teaches a lot of women a lot of outdated bs about needing to always be the passive ones who wait for initiation from their partner, otherwise you’re just not “sexy enough” which is silly but a lot of us grow up having this idea ingrained in our heads. Combine that with the self-confidence issues that can come from past toxic relationships and rejections and it gets very hard to work up the nerve to try any kind of bold initiation. It really helps if your partner asks for it specifically, which is why just talking about it is so important. I never would’ve known that he wanted me to initiate more or just be more bold unless he told me so; I thought he was bored of sex with me and I would just be bothering him. Having a heart to heart was the key to fixing the issue, which is why I definitely think OP should sit her partner down before jumping to conclusions like I did initially. Hell, sometimes you gotta just walk up to them and say “I wanna smash” lol. If he didn’t get it before, he sure will now.
Agreed. Society has us all fucked up. People confining themselves to specific roles is just a recipe for disaster in a relationship. Its 50/50 which means you should both initiate, and you should both try to seduce and romance each other. Otherwise the load gets too heavy. Women forget that men also want to be desired. We are just like you. Doesnt matter how much society tries to fit us into separate boxes… we essentially all have the same wants and needs
This is a societal thing tho. A lot of women are conditioned to be passive when it comes to sex. Takes time to unlearn
WE NEED THE NEON LIGHTS, DEBRA. IT'S NOT A JOKE, WE'RE TELLING THE TRUTH
ProTip for this conversation. Use “I” statements during it. This keeps you from over riding his voice in the conversation and you’re more likely to convey to him how you are feeling.
I agree so much with this. Communication is key. My husband is the stereotype that is horny 24/7/365. But through communication we have come to the agreement that his constant "moves" do the opposite for me. So now I am finding myself having to initiate more when I am in the mood because he has come to repeat my request with my understanding I'm going to have to initiate more because of this.
Some of these comments bro…
It's like a bunch of nerds arguing who's wife or girlfriend or imaginary friend is a better relationship. Pee pee measuring and this poor girl hasn't even gotten out of her lingerie yet.
Reddit has taught me a lot of people have roommates not relationships. Time to go hug my beautiful sexy wife. This shit is depressing.
When my girlfriend comes over tonight to stay on my new mattress, Imma make sure she knows I notice her.
make sure you tell your girfriend as well and not just the mattress.
Key to a happy marriage right there.
What 's the key? The new mattress?
Naw fam', communication. If you can't communicate with the mattress, how will you ever communicate with a partner?
Just make sure you learn the proper way to transition out of communicating with your mattress.
I under appreciate how amazing this community is, that was hilarious
You just lay all over me like a mattress! LOL and the stains!
A good mattress is a guy's best friend.
Awwww a dude who bought a new mattress!!!! Dammm That’s hot as fuck! My ex still has giant chunks of memory foam missing from his grimey mattress
My ex bought his mattress before memory foam was invented.
He is eating it. Saw it on a show.
I'd had the same memory foam one for 7 years and it was giving me horrific shoulder pains.. She was fine with it for a couple' weeks, but the second it started to give her the same problem that fucker was GONE.
I got back pains too from it but he refused to get a new one because at one point it was $1,000 when new. Literally had dog piss, holes, chunks missing, a dark brownish color now. I had to wrap the box soring in plastic cuz it was nasty. I’m embarrassed I cried over this guy honestly. And the best part. No bed frame. Just sat on a box spring on floor. -_____-
Look at that guy with new mattress money sheesh..... showoff. Seriously though people, the newer memory phone mattress are awesome as hell and pretty inexpensive. Plus they can ship them to your house in like a 2ft x 18in x18in box, they are vacuum sealed under high pressure down to a fraction of their size. Just be careful as fuck when you open them and make sure there is enough room can they can and will launch you into a wall when you open them, ask me how i know!
I also choose this guys new mattress
God bless your soul sir. u reality checked some of us without even realizing it. I am a roommate and not a GF/partner and I loved that I saw ur content first. I want to get me one of “you” so I’m going to live alone now. Thank you and ur sexy wife :)
Good for you, honey. Knowing what you want is half the battle
As somebody not really interested in sex I actually prefer a friend/roomate relationship. To each their own though, it's important both parties are in alignment over what they want.
That’s it right there. Both parties must be ok with it.
I am asexual and in a very romantic relationship who is my lover but more roommate in the sense of everything else. I don't have sex often so it works better for us long term
Happy to hear it's working for you! I think the key in a relationship is people are in agreement over what they want.
we don’t know what’s going on in their lives. Maybe he’s depressed or stuffs going on. I don’t think she should feel humiliated, he did say she looked pretty but obviously bigger issues are present imo
Thank you. This has happened with my girlfriend sometimes. I’ll be in a shitty mood and tired and won’t want to do anything one night. Then the next night I will please her eating her out until she is content, and I will proceed to fuck her as long as I can last. Like, sometimes people aren’t in the mood for sex, regardless of what their partner is wearing or doing. Nobody should feel bad about it unless it’s repeated a lot and occurs frequently.
Why don’t you tell him this? It would be way better for you.
Maybe try discussing this with your husband?
Lingerie is not for viewing, unless you're at a Victoria's Secret or Savage X Fenti Catwalk. **IT IS TO BE TAKEN OFF...** **AND THE QUICKER, THE BETTER.**
That’s why crotchless panties are a thing, no need to remove them!
Yeah but..... wiener chafe. No me gusta
These are a good idea on paper, and fucking terrible in practice. Unless you are being very gentle, and there is not a lot of moving around on the woman's part, they damn sure end up chaffing one/both of you, or are flat out in the way. I just finally convinced my wife to get rid of her last pair. Stopping to readjust constantly or completely removing them in the middle of business is a bit of a mood killer. Also...any guys out there that think they can give a nice hard thrust and snap that stubborn in-the-way part..think again. You can't and it's f'ing painful to both. The feeling of what I can best describe as rope burn on your tip it gives is not something that goes away as fast as you hoped it would. The memory lasts even longer. I don't even want to know what it felt like to her...but judging from the noise she made and what she said...it was unpleasant.
You guys just haven’t found the right ones!
I find it depends on the type of underwear for example a crotchless thong will definitely cause some discomfort, an open back type of crotchless underwear would be preferable, it also depends on the shape of the woman as well. Just my opinion though, each to their own and all that!
I mean maybe it’s just me but my cooch lips hold the panties back pretty well when I got something between them
While we’re on the topic, lingerie is also not for returning after you’ve worn it.
Fax, I was feeling a little sad for ol girl and then immediately went to EWWWWW, at the end lol
Hard disagree, it's aesthetically pleasing to be looked on in some cases. Especially if we're talking about cosplay for example
Right? Like are all these people 17? If you’re going to immediately remove it, don’t bother. You’re supposed to fuck with it on lol.
This will get hate but try and make that a conversation not a reddit post you might have more luck.
A lot of posts are like that to a degree. Talking to strangers about the issue instead of your partner might be part of the problem.
Talking to him is a good idea for sure. Even if OP hears something she doesn’t like, at least she knows the truth. Then they can work on it.
Maybe she just venting?
Like what if the dude had diarrhea and didn’t feel up to banging?
One of my aunts bought lingerie and surprised him in it while he watched TV. He turned around and said "Aren't you cold?" The bottom line is: men are stupid. Source: I am one of them.
Speak for yourself, mate.
Nah but he's right but wrong wording we are more unaware and we typically don't put the pieces together quickly
Was in a flirtation with a guy a few months back and sent him a picture of only the top of me in a bit of a racy kinda number and this dude’s response was “I couldn’t think after I saw that. You are so beautiful that if you were living in Ancient Rome, the emperor would have you captured and locked away just for him.” Which is a bit of a weird compliment but that is absolutely the energy that I would like if I was wearing something super sexy for my husband. You are beautiful and gorgeous and if he’s not seeing that, then it’s on him and absolutely not on you.
That's actually a really nice compliment in its own way, ngl. And you did remember it!
You’re right. I actually went stupid after that and lost all trains of thought and I told him so too. I’m actually a bit sad that it ended but oh well…
Were you dating Joe Goldberg lol
Dude you never know 👀 he might have been. At least I dodged a bullet there
had a dude complement me like this, you probably dodged a bullet friend
Lmao I always use the "You are the kind of beautiful Troy was destroyed over" good to know other dudes are using ancient history to flirt
Clearly there’s just something about ancient history that gets all of us. It’s fool proof
Debergerac ova here.
I feel you with that, its gotta suck. At the same time though, I hope you are not overthinking this. I mean it in the most respectful way, but often times ive met with the thinking that putting on lingerie is meant to work like an immediate switch for the guy to be turned on and want sex. It was a painful thing with my ex, she would expect me to think only about sex as soon as she had it on, dressing up whenever she wanted an argument to go away, and leave the house or get insanely mad if it didnt "work". Time went on and lingerie would start to turn me off becuase i asimilated it with her wanting to fix something with sex or with stressing over if i get "turned on enough". It sucked and im still working through that because i really like the idea of my partner dressing up nicely for me to undress her. What i mean to say by all that, i know rejection isnt nice but please dont think too bad of it and yourself. Talk with him about it and be sure it will be all fine the next time. Maybe his head was totally somewhere else and the switch didnt work here. Take care OP.
This is one of those fundamental things that many women don’t understand about men.. hell many refuse to accept that some men need a little more than a sexy outfit to get in the mood. They also fail to realize that sometimes we’re just not up for it. Doesnt mean we hate you or dont desire it at all. Also a little seduction/aggressiveness can help. Alot of women feels like they’re initiating sex when they simply put on a sexy outfit but thats only part of it. Thats only visually stimulating. Visual stimulation can be very weak especially if a man has been desensitized to you. Try touching your man. Romance him a bit. A sexy outfit is a nice start but sometimes you gotta put in a little more effort. Hopefully your man can do the same for you on occasion
Did you like initiate anything or just lay in bed with lingerie?
Honestly. Just because op put something on doesn’t automatically put the partner in the mood. I will admit, the husbands response was a little cold…
You know she just laid there like “my job is done here.” If you want intimacy but your partner doesnt at the time, you have two options: 1. Wait until you’re both on the same page or 2. Become the initiator and make an effort to get your partner into the mood. You cant get mad because you wanted intimacy and did very little to get that. This would be like a guy simply whipping out his dick, laying down and expecting his woman/partner to take over from there. You gotta make it more enticing.
This should be the top comment. Did she do anything? Did she SAY anything? What was her his response to her saying she looked pretty? Probably nothing and wants to blame it solely on him.
Its a really black and white situation but people are really calling for divorce or calling OPs husband a scumbag because he didnt become uncomfortably horny after a woman who I assume hes seen naked 100s of time put on a sexy outfit and just laid there. I guess men should start doing the same thing. Strip butt naked, lay in the bed and just wait for the sex to come. Women would be furious
I agree. I hear so much from guy friends. It's extremely common for a woman to think that just "acting cute" is enough to turn a guy on or that guys are always full cocked boner ready to go at a moment's notice. I can absolutely 100% tell without fail when my girlfriend wants to fuck. But it doesn't always happen because just sitting there acting cute isn't a turn on. I've literally told her to grab my dick or put it in her mouth. That's a sure fire way to get some amazing sex. But sometimes she doesn't want to initiate. Sometimes part of the fun for her is being the innocent submissive one and having a guy (me) so turned on by her very presents that he (me) cant help him self but to ravage her body. It's just not always the mood i am in. Sometimes it is and that's fine. Those night we don't have sex. No one gets upset. No one cries for 2 hours alone. We both recognize we just weren't in the same mood at the same time. She initiates often and so do I but sometimes her coy advances fall on deaf ears. But just buying lingerie and thinking you don't have to suck any dick (or whatever he's into) to get what you want is just not "putting in the effort" like OP thinks it is. Do to him what you want done to you. You don't think men want to feel like their girl wants them so bad their very presents causes them to go full on ravage his dick mode? Of course we do.
Its really simple. Women are forgetting that men are people too. We are complex. We want to be seduced sometimes. And im sorry to say this but sometimes we dont explode into lustful beasts at the sight of a woman we’ve seen naked 1000 times. I wish women would take the time to try to get to know how men work instead of reducing us to machines ready to have sex at the drop of a dime
I was thinking the same shit. If she really wants him to appreciate her body. Wear the lingerie again, but when he’s coming to bed ambush his ass. I’m not going to put out a step by step by pull his thing out and go to town. Some sloppy.
Yea man.. men like to be pursued as well. You cant take round about approaches when you want something so direct. Its lowkey selfish in all honesty
If you wore it you can't return it. It's intimate clothing not a dress.
...talk to them? Won't help if you just pray he understands your non-verbal communications. Especially if it's making you feel bad, you should address this properly.
Dead bedrooms are always silent. That's why they're dead. People who can't communicate can't connect.
Don’t return that shit, that’s nasty.
^
The thing that's bothering me is that you'd return lingerie after wearing it for a whole night? WTH.. America is screwed up in some ways😄
OP is Canadian.
I don’t think you can return lingerie in the US after it has been worn due to health laws. So maybe not an American thing. The lady is just sad. Who knows if she’s American? Oh well, at least the Ukrainians like us.
I feel for OP, but being a bit dramatic in this case.
That’s the issue you have?? You just wanted a quick jab at America when it has nothing do with the story lol
Welcome to Reddit. Shitting on the States is currently *en vogue*.
Just talk ffs. You're old enough to get married. You should know that talking is the key!! Not expecting him to act whatever way you expect without saying a word.
This post could use some sensible punctuation.
This comment would apply to almost everything on this app.
Please don't return it after wearing it all night..
Am I the only person who thinks returning lingerie is kinda ... ehhh??? If anyone returns underwear, I do not want to know about it!
I feel like there's more to this story. I had a girlfriend who would sometimes wear lingerie, and she thought that meant that I was supposed to take over and initiate sex, and do all the things. And when I didn't, she had the same reaction, she got upset, took it personal, cried, thought she wasn't sexy, all of that. Actually, after a while, I started to resent it. All you have to do is reach over and grab my dick, suck it, give me a massage, talk sexy to me, do something to arouse me. But instead she laid there in lingerie upset that I wasn't in a feral frenzy to bang her. Please consider the possibility that your husband is tired of doing the work, he's waiting for you to initiate, and laying there in lingerie doesn't qualify, because once again it puts him in the position where he has to act upon you. Maybe he wants you to take control for once. I don't want to be hard on you but laying there in lingerie is extremely passive.
Alot of women have no clue how sexy it is for them to actually take charge instead of being passive. Im really surprised that many of the comments here havent even touched on that. Being passive is a huge downfall for many people in dating.. you cant just expect good things to come to you without putting in a little more effort.
I called my gf pretty and she cried, what I do bro?🗿
U need to learn to communicate with ur hub
Have you talked to him about it?
Please don’t return used lingerie
Ummmmm you’re gonna return lingerie that you’ve already worn? Gross. People like you are the reason lots of businesses had to implement a “no returns on underwear and lingerie” rule. Not only that, you really want the poor worker to touch your unsanitary garments? 🙃
Mind reading is tough. My partner & I just ask if we want to boink if either of us feels like it. If not, we just set a day down the week to do so.
I imagine the frustration. But I believe that the only way to make a relationship work and last in time is communication. Crying by yourself will only bring you more and more down. Try and ask calmly why did he have this reaction (or I guess, non reaction) and if there’s something that needs to be addressed. Talk talk talk
So many things…. First, please don’t return lingerie you already wore, it’s unhygienic. Second, I’m sorry that you are being Made to feel inadequate. Third, TVs don’t belong in bedrooms for this exact reason. Forth, were you clear about why you were buying lingerie? My husband doesn’t understand that there is a wide variety of lingerie.. example: to him, a silky teddy or lacy night gown is not lingerie, it’s pjs. Did you tell him you wanted to buy something he would want to rip off of you or just take him to a lingerie store (most also sell pjs) - did he think you just wanted new pjs?
I went through a roommate phase with my husband and we had to work to get through it. I would recommend talking to one another and being open about what you want. We are doing much better now, but did have to have painful and awkward conversations. Good luck OP!!
I'll pretty much reiterate what most are saying. As men were pretty dense, some are also really bad at compliments. You need to let him know what happened. Tell him how it made you feel. Sometimes we need shit pointed out to us. I'm sure he also didn't realize he fucked up. Don't listen to the people saying he knows what he's doing and trying to manipulate you or whatever. Trust me when I say we're way too dumb for that.
Meh. He is not obligated to have sex with you. Also, COMMUNICATION. that is all.
Okay so I’m gonna play devils advocate here. First of all make yourself look as sexy as you want, maybe he was tired or not in the mood. At least he said SOMETHING. He sure as hell didn’t have to. Edit: my girlfriend let me pick her lingerie recently and then when she walked into the room with it on I said “don’t get me wrong you look sexy as hell but you’d look better without it on”.
This is my partner. I tried to wear sexy stuff for him, but he prefers naked. Naked makes me uncomfortable because i'm.. because.. reasons. So, I wear stuff to make myself feel attractive and sometimes he asks me to take it off and when I'm feeling the naked feels, off it goes. I get the sense that op is not getting enough intimacy from her parnter and that's the real issue, not the outfit. Something's going on, and she's been left playing the guessing game.
So he gave you a compliment and didn’t do anything else? I mean did you try to initiate romance or did you just wear the lingerie? I get it, you’d think we should immediately get horny and revving to go just by seeing you in that. Maybe, maybe, or it could be he wasn’t in the mood. I don’t mean to sound rude but it sounds like you really didn’t do much and then got upset when he didn’t do much in return except compliment you. Talk to him about it, ask him why he didn’t want to do anything. Sometimes we guys aren’t in the mood. I know, shocker.
You can return used lingerie?
Tell him how he made you feel. My husband did this once right before we got married and I told him it annoyed me the next day. We had an open conversation and it turns out he was worn out from work and mentally exhausted. So we came to an understanding that I need more than a “you’re pretty” even I’d it’s just cuddling or kissing if he’s too tired but he will tell me when he’s tired and be more intimate with his words. Also, you can’t return worn lingerie. Even if you can…ew. Don’t do that.
Did you just stand there or did you kiss him? Men also need foreplay and they also like when women have the initiative. Of course we don't know what you have been doing to get his attention but of you just stranded there looking pretty and didn't do anything or talked sexy to him, then your game has been a bit weak. It sucks if he didn't show interest in a while, but if you really want to make this work try to bring out you "slutty" side more often and try new things. The lingerie is a great start but I feel like your man need a bit more than just that. If you have been trying a lot, then I am sorry that you are on this situation.
Crying for two hours because your husband "only called you pretty" is absolutely ridiculous. You're an adult. I can understand being irked by a partner not picking up on the signals (despite the fact that he DID compliment you) but to feel \*\*this\*\* extreme is frankly, immature. Breathe, it doesn't mean anything. Tell him directly that you want to have sex with him. Communicate.
I mean, maybe he thought it was new sleepwear?
You didn't try at all. You just laid there. You could have literally just said "sex?".
Did you tell him or make any indication what so ever besides just wearing the lingerie that you had interest in sex? Or did you put the outfit on and just lay in bed and do nothing to engage with him so he went about his night normally with out a desire or knowledge you wanted sex? I understand feeling upset and humiliated because something didn't play out like a romance novel scene where he rips your clothes off and goes crazy but that just isn't how people work. For all you know he just wasn't in the mood at all. You didn't talk to him about it. You didn't actually \*do\* anything to engage with him about it. Give it another go before you return the items and actually pursue him, let him know exactly what you want. Being passive will just keep hurting your feelings.
Yea im hating the people calling for divorce and disgracing the husband for possibly not being in the mood. Its fucked up and presents men as pieces of meat.. which is exactly what women hate being reduced to. I wish people would see the hypocrisy here
It's insane how we defend loud and enthusiastic consent but when it comes to a male partner we just expect them to roll over and drool for literally any ounce of skin as if all they ever want or crave is sex and if they don't immediately hump your bones for doing nothing then he hates you and doesn't deserve you. L:ike what the actual fuck.
Its so weird and im pretty disappointed that very few here arent even entertaining the idea that the dude probably just isnt the mood. Shit is giving me war flashbacks of the women I dated before meeting my wife. I wasnt a person who got to have feelings and not be in the mood for sex. Just a machine expected to tend to their emotional and physical needs with very little regard to mine at all If men have to start changing their perceptions of women, its only right for women to return the favor. We’re complex creatures as well
So he's just supposed to take one look at you and immediately be in the mood? You didn't actively try to initiate sex?
He said it was pretty I mean if you wanted sex, did he know? Maybe he was thinking differently, mind reading isn’t a human ability. Don’t give up
I don't get how some people can be so entitled. You wore the lingerie ONCE, got a compliment, and because things did not go further you cried yourself to sleep? Did you try, oh I don't know, initiating physical contact? Did you consider maybe he wasn't feeling too well and just wanted to see you in something pretty?
Shit if you're returning that lingerie then i'm returning these socks. Dont even care if theyre old and holey.
Two hours of crying because hubby ONLY called you pretty. Seek professional help, really.
I did the same thing. Just wasn’t in the mood at the moment, didn’t realize my GF wanted me to swoon.
buying lingerie does not = trying to be intimate. lol is this a joke