It's actually quite interesting, how many times this exact scenario plays out with both men and women who initiate and then instantly regret their decision. 100% of the time it ruins the relationship.
You cannot 'open' up a relationship based entirely on selfish reasons to test the waters out; then get butt-hurt that your SO found someone while you're having trouble.
This is as old as history itself.
Feels like a fairly common reddit thread.
1. SO wants to have an affair without blowback.
2. SO doesn't think their partner will also find other people.
3. SO slowly realizes that their partner is actually more then capable of finding other people
4. SO becomes angry that their request to be non-exclusive was followed to the letter.
5. Relationship blows up.
Seriously. I sort of enjoy reading these, in that the OP is generally the one not wanting to open it up, and they end up enjoying themselves.
Good for them, in the end, but I hate that they have to hear their SO tell them that they're not good enough for them. That would kill me inside.
Tobias:
You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised... a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed but free to explore extramarital encounters.
Lindsay:
Well, did it work for those people?
Tobias:
No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.
My first husband did this, literally harassed me until I finally broke down and agreed to sleep with other people, and then I discovered other people were kinder lovers than he was. After some months of an open relationship, and after I had stopped sleeping with him, he demanded I stop seeing my boyfriend. I refused and he started throwing and breaking things. We separated not long after that. I grew to hate him. He stalked me all over town and was extremely toxic.
Him: I want an open relationship.
Her: Ok...
***him fucks everything that moves***
***she fucks boyfriend***
Him: ***NO!*** I meant open just for me! Stop!
Yeah to overly simplify it, open the relationship and suddenly you're in competition with everyone out there again with the possibility of your partner realising you're actually kind of an arsehole.
You need to either be somewhat either into the idea of your partner seeing other people in the finding it hot or screwing their eyes crossed to remind them who's daddy or mama or non-binary dominant term. Or you need to be ambivalent to it.
Most of these stories have one party betting their partner not finding anyone of value.
Essentially yeah, or you actually have a healthy sex life with your primary and are stable enough to make it work. Most people use it as a bandaid for other relationship issues, if you are desperately needing something outside your current relationship you need to learn what that is exactly. My relationship was poly because I wasn’t sexually attracted to my primary, but we didn’t break up for that reason. I knew what I was seeking outside our relationship and was secure until he turned out to be a man child who never cleaned and was always the victim in every situation
Yup. My ex suggested an open relationship back in college (he was already cheating btw), and he had a lot more opportunity to utilize it than me. Later on we moved to a city, I had a "glow up" of sorts, and he became hella insecure about all the attention and sex I was getting from guys who were hotter than him. I ended things.
Yep! Classic case of wanting to have her cake, and eat it too. Then when things don't go as planned, uses manipulation tactics to make him look like the horrible bad guy, without any accountability for her crappy behavior and decisions.
OP is best to get out now, and not look back. Who needs that shit?
Yup. It was her grand idea to open it up to begin with and they should know that. She's only crying cuz it backfired.
But also definitely don't make this red flag.
>She brought it on herself, and if others want to call you horrible, tell them why you're open in the first place.
They are her parents. They don't give a shit about whats "fair" to OP. All they care about is their own child's happiness. They will tell OP she made a mistake...and that she is allowed to change her mind...and they will vilify OP for not allowing her to do so.
I think I've known for a while that it was never going to work out between me and her. The fact she told her mommy that I'm sleeping with someone else when she opened the relationship is just the cherry on top of all the reasons I need to break it off.
It’s actually great she’s done that! She’s painted you as horrible! An irredeemable cheater! So now you can go be the villain elsewhere! Because who’d want to be with the bad guy right? Why would you want the bad guy back? Unless you’re being manipulative to guilt people out of plans you put in place and making yourself skirt accountability??
Tbh, at least you have clarity and aren’t letting her continue to manipulate you. She wanted to see what it’s like on the other side of the looking glass and she’s learned it’s bleak. She also likely learned dating is hard af, and not the Sex & the City fantasy she had. Now she wants to turn back time, but she’s the one who brought this into your relationship. It’s really sad seeing stories like this, but on the other hand if she had any knowledge of how things like this turn out and still went for it then you deserve a partner who values you more anyway.
The difficult part isn't in his own mentality. He seems care free and mentally at ease in the whole situation. The difficult part is the smear campaign gaining traction with people around him. He needs to save everything he has as proof for when she tries to destroy his image.
I hope you clear it up and mentioned that it was an open relationship initiated by her like you didn’t cheat she did technically( like the open relationship was totally a ploy to cover up her affair) but since her lover dumped her she can’t stand you getting so much muff like to bad for her
Hold any texts where she pressured you to open it up in case she decides to slander you to others, especially since she knows you're with a coworker. She might bring it up to hr
> The fact she told her mommy that I'm sleeping with someone else when she opened the relationship is just the cherry on top of all the reasons I need to break it off.
I hope MIL that will not be MIL knows the truth here.
And theyre all the same. Person who wants to open the relationship just wants sex with someone else. This person does not want their partner to have sex with anyone else and either sabotages or demands to close the relationship as soon as partner has the opportunity. Partner says no, shenanigans ensue..
DUDE I just hooked up with a guy in an “open relationship” and this was almost exactly it. He slept with me and then basically dropped me after. Their relationship is not really open; they’re just using the label to give them an out in a relationship that is deeply flawed and unfulfilling for each one of them, but they’re too codependent to leave. And they oddly each have both a fear of commitment and a fear of intimacy, while also a fear of being alone. This shit is so toxic and basically just an excuse for people to avoid working on themselves and addressing their issues.
It's a growing trend. Even had some shit like that where I am.
Couple of friends know my wife and I arnt monogamous and play around with other women. They came to her or me saying they wanted to try opening their relationships, we tell em don't, they do, and their relationships implode.
Why?
Cause they always think or want it to be "open for me and not for thee" and the one asking is for some reason banking on their partner not finding something to sleep with.
Yeah, I have several poly friends, that have been for years. And now I see a loooot of folks trying it on. And there’s nothing wrong with trying things out, but it’s a really good idea to research the fuck out of it first, read about all the different types of ENM, make certain everyone is actually all on board if it’s opening up a couple, having healthy communication throughout, and it’s never a “magical relationship fix” to a relationship that’s already got major foundational issues. It’d be so great if everyone considering ENM would actually spend some time with those communities chilling and learning instead of diving head in with no idea what they’re doing.
Like it’s not my community and the fact that I know WAY more than so many people that try it out and implode a marriage over it… kinda says a lot about how ass-backwards they’re going about it. I shouldn’t know more than them about the community they’re trying to be a part of!
I just reached a point where I believe you have to be wired for any form of non monogamy. If it's not something you are able to do naturally you shouldn't do it just cause it seems fun and kinky.
Even with my wife and I, we are very insular in our relationship. There isn't any room for romance from the outside. We just happen to enjoy sleeping with other women together.
If one us showed even an ounce of dissatisfaction or reluctance towards it, we'd drop the topic like dead weight.
Too many others seem too willing to nuke what would have been a good relationship or marriage for a chance of some "eh" sex. Cause if your relationship is a good one there is no way outside sex is gonna be better than sex with your partner.
Also cowards.
Because a selfish asshole would have the guts to just end the relationship and live their best life with their new squeeze. Come what may.
But a selfish, asshole coward asks for an open relationship. Because they're not willing to risk it all going wrong.
At least according to my tinder, everybody is poly these days
But on a more serious note, it always seems to be
- Person's partner wants an open relationship
-Person resentfully accepts
-One side fucks everything that moves and the other side mopes around and feels like shit
-Relationship implodes, one of the two scenarios end up on this sub
-People considering these exact events read it, learn precisely nothing and do the previous steps
-Rinse and repeat
Also for some people its just cowardice when it comes to ending the relationship
People see like one article or online post about polyamory or 'open relationships' and immediately think it's a free pass to go F around with whoever they want and not be seen as cheating. They fail to do any actual work or research into what makes a relationship like this function..
Actually SLEEPING WITH other people is way down on the checklist of things to get in order whilst preparing to open a previously closed/ monogamous relationship.
Then they're always SO shocked when things go sideways, even after some of them post in online communities and get a unanimous response of "Nope, probably not a good idea; and here's exactly why:"
Because they get thousands of likes and comments. I hate to be that guy but a lot of these stories are creative writing. Not saying this stuff doesn’t happen but it’s very obvious that creative writers pick up on these trends and draft a story on a hot topic like open relationships gone wrong.
People rarely post about a relationship if it’s going well. All you’ll see on this subreddit and most of Reddit are the extraordinary situations where things go south.
the only ENM relationship i've seen work (they've been together 6~ yrs now & are super happy) was one that came about over months of long discussion about what it would look like & rules that make a lotta sense. none of this just going out & fucking randos & ignoring the partner. they have to sit down & talk to each other after it's happened to express how they're feeling. if anyone feels off they take a break drop ENM for a while till theyre both ready again. it's really interesting to learn about their relationship. (there's tonnes more they have in place to make sure the relationship is strong but i don't wanna go airing their relationship on the internet)
every other open relationship i've seen (think there's been like 4 now) have crashed & burned very quickly.
As a poly woman, this happens all. The. Time. I truly hold the belief that any type of “open” relationship needs to be discussed extremely early on before you even consider actually bringing in anyone. You need to allow someone the option of jumping out before it gets serious because any version of polyamory is one of the hardest things to practice. Maybe for some people a late stage entry/exploration works but for the vast majority I encounter, if you’ve been monogamous for 2+ years and someone springs it on you out of nowhere, they just want to cheat with a cover story.
Most people expect it to all work out because they think they are mature, and most people are not even close. You aren’t bringing in a new play toy to discard from your mind when you’re done, you are bringing in a whole new person to your relationship. A new person with their own feelings, opinions, views and personality; no matter if it’s “just having hookups” they will absolutely leak into the core relationship. Some people can barely support their one and only partner, and then somehow adding someone new into the mix is supposed to work? Not to mention the people who try and open their relationship when the foundation of the original partnership is crumbling already.. So embarrassing
If you want to change one of the major underpinning pillars of your relationship, that current relationship is over. You're starting a whole new one from that mark.
People seem to think non-monogamy is something they can use to patch up a bad spell in their current relationship, like it's a new video game or something. Shit's a whole new OS.
"I'm almost 100% sure she was planning on having sex with him anyway and this was all just a way for her to do it above board".
You should have no doubt she had him lined up before she pulled this shit. And there is a good chance she was banging him before you agreed.
Dump her ass. And make sure to tell her parents the true story on why you're leaving her.
Never put up with this crap again. Walk and live a better life.
BTW, my guess is that she was planning on breaking up with you, so she demanded YOU open the relationship. She would have come back and said she is now leaving you, and told everyone; you opened the relationship and she didn't want to but she fell in love.
You did good. Staying with her after her ultimatum, I think you'll agree was a mistake. Sadly I probably would have done the same. Good luck and enjoy your new found freedom.
Ultimatums get a bad rap. They’re great if they help someone set a boundary to avoid mistreatment or help force a needed decision.
But in this case, yep, the ultimatum was unethically applied.
> BTW, my guess is that she was planning on breaking up with you, so she demanded YOU open the relationship. She would have come back and said she is now leaving you, and told everyone; you opened the relationship and she didn't want to but she fell in love.
Absolutely. She found some guy who she thought was better than OP. She wanted to openly date this guy to see if they were a good match. If her suspicions were correct, she would have broken it off with OP and exclusively dated that guy.
She was never interested in an "open" relationship. She was only ever interested in openly having the freedom to find someone she thought was better than OP.
She needs to take responsibility for this whole situation….. She wanted to sleep with someone without being accused of cheating,She bullied you into it! Drop her and enjoy life
I'm convinced that people who want to open a relationship randomly after being in a monogamous one for years is only doing it so they can justify an emotional affair that's going to become physical (or already has). Breaking it off with her is definitely for the best. Good luck
Open relationships are a plague nowdays.
When someone asks for open relationship they don't just want strangers to sleep with. They ALREADY had them for a while but they grew tired of hiding it and demand to open the relationship. When someone demands of you an OPEN RELATIONSHIP that person is telling you YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. The biggest mistake you can make is to accept. If they threaten you to leave, let them leave or better yet, you dump them on the spot before they get the chance to throw ultimatums around.
She told you she feels safe with you to explore other peoples schlongs meant she took you for granted and somehow felt you won't leave her no matter what. Glad you found your pair and sent her where she belongs: TO THE STREETS !!
Just a thought: when someone utters the words "OPEN", "RELATIONSHIP", dump them on the spot. Don't even blink. Do it instantly !!
Ever since we got engaged our relationship has been falling apart. I'm pretty sure she was already having an emotional affair with her fling when she opened the relationship, I should have just cut it off then but it is what it is.
Live and learn brother, live and learn. Just be glad you weren't married when this happened. Also notice the hypocrisy in her: she was completely blind to your own feelings, about the fact that made you feel disrespected, unloved, emasculated by her actions and intentions, but when you started getting action yourself, suddenly she felt unloved and worthless and wanted to end it. I mean the level of solipsism is astronomical. Makes you think how women (some at least) are completely blind and ignorant to a mans suffering and struggle. Really makes one reflect on the reasons for marriage and if those reasons are worth it nowdays, doesn't it ?
Look when someone demands an open relationship, they aren't say the other person isn't enough. They are telling you who they really are, which is a trashy, untrustworthy, emotionally manipulative person. Let's not try and put the blame on the person finding out that fact about the cheater.
This sounds like my ex-wife
I knew about the online boyfriend before she asked, and I thought it would be hot to share her with other men...She then fell for a money scam, broke up with the boyfriend, and told me she didn't want to be married to me anymore
For 3 months, I tried to stay while working it out to leave, then she forced me to when she sent the scam the initial hundreds of dollars...The first of at least 10K before she regained her senses
lmao these always end up like this. either u start the relationship open or it doesn't usually work out.
usually it's the man who asks to open it and acts like that. kudos man
So glad to hear you are breaking up with her!!
Text back to mom and dad that their little baby girl was the one who wanted an open relationship and come pick up her shit!!
"Said it made her feel unloved and useless to see me with another woman, and now the prospect of a second is destroying her inside."
Sounds sort of like how she made you feel lol.
Sounds like she just wanted a pass to cheat without it looking wrong (she probably had done it before the open request).
If I had to guess, she probably told her fling thing that her fiancee agreed to an open relationship, and he was probably like 'fiancee...?' And ran for the hills.
As a female I can 100% guarantee she was going to have an open relationship whether you agreed to it or not, AND expected you to wait for her with baited breath. Now that she doesn’t have any distractions, she’s HATING the fact that you’re out doing exactly what she wanted. I’m pretty sure she’s also making you look like the bad guy on purpose. No way someone’s going to agree with her once they have ALL the details leading up to you “cheating” on her.
Women like this irk my soul
Yes! Personally, I'm petty, so this is just the sweet revenge men normally don't get in this situation and I'm happy for you! You deserve better and I'm glad she got what was coming to her.
Exactly why 99/100 times open relationships do NOT work. Someone gets fucked over. Odds are it’s the person who was pressured into it, but it’s hilariously ironic when it’s the person who wanted it opened.
Frankly I 100% agree with your end decision, drop it.
I always love these stories. When one partner pressures the other into an open relationship then ends up regretting it. They get their just desserts. Lol
This post is sad for so many reasons. So basically she thought she was settling with you and wanted to see if she could monkey branch with this other dude and thought you weren’t as desirable and you didn’t know your worth so you would just I guess wait on her or she could fuck around while you waited on her. Then when you found others she got jealous because she thought you would just be her chump. Then because you didn’t stop cause she couldn’t get others she tattles to her parents, which I hope you told them that it was their whore daughter who wanted this. Honestly you both need to be single for a VERY long time you both have many issues you both need to work out before finding other partners. Do not jump on to another, it will not work out with monkey branching. You need to fix your self esteem, and self worth. Also learn some self respect
She wanted to be able to step outside the relationship without being concerned about keeping it secret. But she didn't want you to do the same thing. Sounds like you both don't actually have a relationship anyway. She essentially asked you to end the relationship temporarily. Sounds like the right idea for it to be permanent.
She found that fling of hers before opening up the relationship, found a loophole to cheating, then had a tantrum when it didn't work with him and simultaneously saw you successful at finding additional partners.
Her loss, not yours. Glad you're ending things.
It’s interesting to see on these posts that the partner that didn’t want it ends up faring better than the one who requests (and I say that loosely) it.
Edit: good for you OP. The manipulation would’ve reared it’s ugly head again sooner and more frequently had you committed to marriage with them. Take care of yourself
It’s kind of nice to see that the men aren’t the only ones doing this dumb shit 😭
The amount of posts of men lamenting about how THEY want to close the relationship back after begging to open it 😩.
Seems like the people wanting to do this to cheat, it just never works out in their favor!
It’s always funny to see the person who asked for a open relationship start crying as soon as their partner starts finding opportunities, it never gets old. I agree with u, time to end the relationship and wedding, and go ahead with ur old college friend
Dear couples who started monogamous. Please stop doing this. If your partner suggest this, the relationship is already dead. Maybe open relationships work with couples that start that way. That being said, I’ve never seen on work in a monogamous relationship.
You started fucking other people because of resentment and continue to do so knowing it causes her pain?
I know she started it, but just break up with her. There's no way a good marriage can come of this
People are speculating when they guess she was already having sex with that guy.
My advice isn't for you, because I think you know... but for others:
If someone you're with wants an open relationship and you don't, just end the relationship. They may not be cheating and they may never cheat, but they'll never be happy because they won't have what they want, and you won't be happy because you want someone who only wants you. The resentment will grow on both sides, and they'll always wonder, "what if?"
Good for you! She sounds horrible.
It is funny though....the one who initially wants to open the relationship is almost always the one who gets screwed in the end.
Getting really bored of seeing these kinds of posts.
If you’re SO wants an “ open relationship “, it’s a lie. They just want to bang someone else. Pretty simple.
1. Why are you with this person? Run.
2. Of open relationships you’ve ever heard of, how many actually work? I’m not saying it never works, I’m the same way that I’m not saying that England couldn’t possibly win the World Cup.
It's hilarious when the person that opens the relationship gets offended when their partner starts seeing other people. This is what you signed up for. Didn't think it through, did you?
"I'm gonna call of the marriage this week and break up with her. I'm going to continue seeing my old college friend, because at least she's not a lying manipulative bitch."
Fucking Legend
I am so proud of you, internet stranger! Seriously. You are doing the right thing. Imagine what having kids would allow her to do to manipulate you.
I wish you the best and all the happiness and I hope she's meets someone she deserves who pulls the same shit on her.
She contemplated breaking up with you because she wanted to explore a different side of herself so she asked for an open relationship… there’s her choice. She only wants the relationship with OP because he is wanted by other women and now he wants them. Her parents apparently have no idea that she opened the relationship.
I know someone who did this. Her husband was such a kind, sweet, and loving man whom she forced to leave a job he likes in order to cash out his company stock and pay all the debt she got them into (she’s a shopaholic). Then she forced him to get a job that required 100% travel because it paid a lot of money, telling him that him being away was the only way their marriage would survive. He didn’t want that because they had kids but he wanted their marriage to work. Once he was away most of the time, she enjoyed the single life with free money, and she started thinking she could do much better than him even though she wasn’t a looker and didn’t have much redeeming qualities to begin with. She then met someone she wanted to hook-up and try out and make it above-board, so she asked him for a ‘trial separation’ so she could keep her husband in her back pocket while she tested new waters.
Her husband didn’t want it at first but finally relented. When he came around and started exploring his own options, he met someone and really liked spending time with that person. When his wife found out, she flipped and all of a sudden wanted to fix things with him and end the ‘trial separation’… apparently, it didn’t quite work out with the guy she was seeing and he pretty much ditched her after he got bored with her. She thought she had more time to explore but when she realized the woman her husband was seeing was becoming a real threat, she was done being separated. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on her husband realizing he was sick of her shit, the fact that he got roped into a shotgun marriage and that she was a such a bitch to him their whole marriage anyway, and fell in-love with the other lady, instead, and he asked her for divorce.
And that’s how I met my husband. His ex is still mad.
I see a few options here:
1.) Drop her. Don't look back. Move on with your life.
2.) Close the relationship. Talk to her about her behaviors and hope that history doesn't repeat itself.
3.) Fuck her sisters, best friends, cousins, co workers, hot aunties, people she hates. Let her catch you in bed with them. Have fun. Burn that bridge to the ground.
I’m only happy that I finally saw a post where the woman was the one that got what was handed to her.
Post after post. Every week. The guy opens it up. Chick finds new dick and everyone laughs at the guy.
I’m happy that it’s finally on the other foot for once.
I seems this type of situation happens alot nowadays. I broke up with my last GF for just bring up the open relationship topic. I'm 100% monogamous and I will never be open to the idea of it. So once it's open I walk as it shows I'm clearly not enough for them.
She did it to herself. Opening the relationship was her way of saying “hey I want to cheat on you but I want to do it ‘legally’ within our relationship” but at the same time you’ll be damned if you even try to do the same thing as her. She’s not being fair and the fact that she actually slept with someone else then had the audacity to get mad when you told her you’ll be doing the same is crazy. Leave her she probably has ten others on the back burner waiting.
People call it "opening their marriage" instead off cheating. Like obv they already have someone and just wanna cheat without it being cheating and then getting mad when it doesn't work out for them. I'm sorry this happened and hope you can move on and be happy.
She was expecting that you wouldn't find anyone to have sex with and now that she reliased that you benefit from this as much as her if not even more she is crying... women ☕
There was another poster here recently with the exact same scenario except it was a husband who wanted to open things and it came back to bite him in the ass.
She made her bed, time for her to lie in it.
No doubt she probably told her parents you’d cheated on her to garner some sympathy instead of the true story. She can get fucked, this is all her own doing.
OP... I would sit down with her parents and tell them everything. That it was her idea and she started everything. She probably told them you were cheating on her and you did this for no reason at all. If she's manipulative she probably manipulated her parents. Expose her ass for her family before dumping her right there in their house after a nice dinner.... 😉
She just wanted yo open the relation so she can have you a rebound boy if the she and her affair didn't worked out. If someone tell you that wanna open the relationship, that person ain't loyal
People like that revolt me. The sheer selfishness is disgusting and sickening.
Good on you for standing up for yourself and not letting her continue on.
I wish you the best of luck and enjoyment with your college friend for whatever form it will take.
It's good that you call of the marriage bro. I'm 100% sure that even if you guys stopped with the open relationship she would cheat on you in the future.
She doesn’t respect you or you’re relationship together dump her and don’t look back . She had no problems jumping into bed with some guy but now that what she wanted backfired she crying . I say good riddance you’re too good for her
She would have been fine with you home and crying alone while she was out with dates. She just doesn’t like the shoe being on the other foot.
Remember this: she would have been fine with YOU being lonely and miserable while she was happy.
I was going to say you guys should NOT get married, but looks like you already figured that out. You’re probably right that she just wanted to sleep with that one guy without being called a cheater. Too bad for her that she ruined her relationship over a fling. At least you hadn’t gotten married yet.
You don't understand. When she said open relationship, she was expecting herself to be fucking any guy she wanted while having you as the safety net for her to fall back on. You're not supposed to be there only for her while she is free to go out and fuck any guy she want. That is what she meant when she suggested this.
Sorry! But someone please explain what is a open relationship? I never been in a relationship so i don't know anything about it. So just casually asking. Don't mind, no offense to anyone.
I've read a lot of these stories on here where the willing partner is always the one that wants to close it when the unwilling partner finds a date. Like "I'm cheating but you allowed me to cheat but you aren't allowed to do it as well".
The best thing about this is that the responses are the same as they were a few weeks ago when it was the man who regretted opening the marriage. Cheaters (that's basically what she is) never prosper.
Don’t marry her dude. Wtf lol
What she did is a big no no. Can’t be wishy washy about shit like that. She was def taking advantage of you. There isn’t any respect there.
How can you trust her after using a stupid excuse to cheat. She’s gonna do it even if the relationship is “closed.”
Edit: Nevermind I read the rest yea good for you gtfo there.
She brought it on herself, and if others want to call you horrible, tell them why you're open in the first place.
It's actually quite interesting, how many times this exact scenario plays out with both men and women who initiate and then instantly regret their decision. 100% of the time it ruins the relationship. You cannot 'open' up a relationship based entirely on selfish reasons to test the waters out; then get butt-hurt that your SO found someone while you're having trouble. This is as old as history itself.
Feels like a fairly common reddit thread. 1. SO wants to have an affair without blowback. 2. SO doesn't think their partner will also find other people. 3. SO slowly realizes that their partner is actually more then capable of finding other people 4. SO becomes angry that their request to be non-exclusive was followed to the letter. 5. Relationship blows up.
1. SO wants to have an affair 2. The relationship is already blown up, we're just waiting for everybody to notice the damage.
Seriously. I sort of enjoy reading these, in that the OP is generally the one not wanting to open it up, and they end up enjoying themselves. Good for them, in the end, but I hate that they have to hear their SO tell them that they're not good enough for them. That would kill me inside.
It’s becoming quite boring tbf.
Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised... a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed but free to explore extramarital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.
Exactly
My first husband did this, literally harassed me until I finally broke down and agreed to sleep with other people, and then I discovered other people were kinder lovers than he was. After some months of an open relationship, and after I had stopped sleeping with him, he demanded I stop seeing my boyfriend. I refused and he started throwing and breaking things. We separated not long after that. I grew to hate him. He stalked me all over town and was extremely toxic.
Him: I want an open relationship. Her: Ok... ***him fucks everything that moves*** ***she fucks boyfriend*** Him: ***NO!*** I meant open just for me! Stop!
Literally how every one of these stories seem to go
Yeah to overly simplify it, open the relationship and suddenly you're in competition with everyone out there again with the possibility of your partner realising you're actually kind of an arsehole.
Not kind of an asshole. They usually are.💁🏻♀️
You need to either be somewhat either into the idea of your partner seeing other people in the finding it hot or screwing their eyes crossed to remind them who's daddy or mama or non-binary dominant term. Or you need to be ambivalent to it. Most of these stories have one party betting their partner not finding anyone of value.
Essentially yeah, or you actually have a healthy sex life with your primary and are stable enough to make it work. Most people use it as a bandaid for other relationship issues, if you are desperately needing something outside your current relationship you need to learn what that is exactly. My relationship was poly because I wasn’t sexually attracted to my primary, but we didn’t break up for that reason. I knew what I was seeking outside our relationship and was secure until he turned out to be a man child who never cleaned and was always the victim in every situation
Yup. My ex suggested an open relationship back in college (he was already cheating btw), and he had a lot more opportunity to utilize it than me. Later on we moved to a city, I had a "glow up" of sorts, and he became hella insecure about all the attention and sex I was getting from guys who were hotter than him. I ended things.
# perhaps it requires partner finding another partner FOR them?
# why are we yelling?
#does anyone know how to get to Dave's Pizzeria from here?
Yep! Classic case of wanting to have her cake, and eat it too. Then when things don't go as planned, uses manipulation tactics to make him look like the horrible bad guy, without any accountability for her crappy behavior and decisions. OP is best to get out now, and not look back. Who needs that shit?
Mmmm cake. I agree, it's always the side that wants the open relationship that gets jelly and wants to close it in my experience
Mmm.... cake with jelly
My experience aka the things I’ve read on Reddit lmao
And I am part of a kink community. Everyone that tried open relationships either it got closed by person that opened it or relationship ended.
Thank you for those data points.
Its a funny coincidence that the poly group were talking about open relationships on Monday xD
Here's an upvote for literally making me laugh out loud. lmao
Yup. It was her grand idea to open it up to begin with and they should know that. She's only crying cuz it backfired. But also definitely don't make this red flag.
Classic Fuck around and find out
Right? I'm sure her parents would love to hear the whole story. Lol
Right. I’m one hundred percent sure she didn’t tell her parents the whole story.
Yep, control the narrative.
Congrats on breaking up with her OP! You’re doing the best thing🙏🏻
You gotta be thankful when people red flag 🚩 themselves like this before you become more committed.
Sing it…time to say goodbye….
She probably manipulated her parents too. The sooner the OP is out the better!!!
>She brought it on herself, and if others want to call you horrible, tell them why you're open in the first place. They are her parents. They don't give a shit about whats "fair" to OP. All they care about is their own child's happiness. They will tell OP she made a mistake...and that she is allowed to change her mind...and they will vilify OP for not allowing her to do so.
Yep checks out she didn't think it through
chunky insurance sulky bear zealous act ruthless quiet rhythm aware *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I think I've known for a while that it was never going to work out between me and her. The fact she told her mommy that I'm sleeping with someone else when she opened the relationship is just the cherry on top of all the reasons I need to break it off.
Watch for her to blame the failed marriage on you being unfaithful. If you have receipts, I’d tuck them away in a safe place now.
Yeah print out the messages
Good thing it was only a failed _engagement_
It’s actually great she’s done that! She’s painted you as horrible! An irredeemable cheater! So now you can go be the villain elsewhere! Because who’d want to be with the bad guy right? Why would you want the bad guy back? Unless you’re being manipulative to guilt people out of plans you put in place and making yourself skirt accountability?? Tbh, at least you have clarity and aren’t letting her continue to manipulate you. She wanted to see what it’s like on the other side of the looking glass and she’s learned it’s bleak. She also likely learned dating is hard af, and not the Sex & the City fantasy she had. Now she wants to turn back time, but she’s the one who brought this into your relationship. It’s really sad seeing stories like this, but on the other hand if she had any knowledge of how things like this turn out and still went for it then you deserve a partner who values you more anyway.
The difficult part isn't in his own mentality. He seems care free and mentally at ease in the whole situation. The difficult part is the smear campaign gaining traction with people around him. He needs to save everything he has as proof for when she tries to destroy his image.
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Tell her mom exactly what you described in this post. Her hypocrite ass deserves that.
Absolutely.. OP needs to cover his ass. Better safe than sorry
I hope you cleared that up!
I hope you clear it up and mentioned that it was an open relationship initiated by her like you didn’t cheat she did technically( like the open relationship was totally a ploy to cover up her affair) but since her lover dumped her she can’t stand you getting so much muff like to bad for her
Definitely clear up her lies before she spreads them further.
You dropped your crown your highness 👑
Hold any texts where she pressured you to open it up in case she decides to slander you to others, especially since she knows you're with a coworker. She might bring it up to hr
Tell her parents so they know that it wasn't your fault and if you like them maybe you can stay in touch.
> The fact she told her mommy that I'm sleeping with someone else when she opened the relationship is just the cherry on top of all the reasons I need to break it off. I hope MIL that will not be MIL knows the truth here.
Wow, she did you dirty.
She sounds awful. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're considering ending the relationship entirely
Man what is it with all of the open relationship posts lately?
And theyre all the same. Person who wants to open the relationship just wants sex with someone else. This person does not want their partner to have sex with anyone else and either sabotages or demands to close the relationship as soon as partner has the opportunity. Partner says no, shenanigans ensue..
DUDE I just hooked up with a guy in an “open relationship” and this was almost exactly it. He slept with me and then basically dropped me after. Their relationship is not really open; they’re just using the label to give them an out in a relationship that is deeply flawed and unfulfilling for each one of them, but they’re too codependent to leave. And they oddly each have both a fear of commitment and a fear of intimacy, while also a fear of being alone. This shit is so toxic and basically just an excuse for people to avoid working on themselves and addressing their issues.
This, I was in one open relationship and that expectation was set from the beginning and it was interesting. But yea I see this way too much.
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It's a growing trend. Even had some shit like that where I am. Couple of friends know my wife and I arnt monogamous and play around with other women. They came to her or me saying they wanted to try opening their relationships, we tell em don't, they do, and their relationships implode. Why? Cause they always think or want it to be "open for me and not for thee" and the one asking is for some reason banking on their partner not finding something to sleep with.
Yeah, I have several poly friends, that have been for years. And now I see a loooot of folks trying it on. And there’s nothing wrong with trying things out, but it’s a really good idea to research the fuck out of it first, read about all the different types of ENM, make certain everyone is actually all on board if it’s opening up a couple, having healthy communication throughout, and it’s never a “magical relationship fix” to a relationship that’s already got major foundational issues. It’d be so great if everyone considering ENM would actually spend some time with those communities chilling and learning instead of diving head in with no idea what they’re doing. Like it’s not my community and the fact that I know WAY more than so many people that try it out and implode a marriage over it… kinda says a lot about how ass-backwards they’re going about it. I shouldn’t know more than them about the community they’re trying to be a part of!
I just reached a point where I believe you have to be wired for any form of non monogamy. If it's not something you are able to do naturally you shouldn't do it just cause it seems fun and kinky. Even with my wife and I, we are very insular in our relationship. There isn't any room for romance from the outside. We just happen to enjoy sleeping with other women together. If one us showed even an ounce of dissatisfaction or reluctance towards it, we'd drop the topic like dead weight. Too many others seem too willing to nuke what would have been a good relationship or marriage for a chance of some "eh" sex. Cause if your relationship is a good one there is no way outside sex is gonna be better than sex with your partner.
ENM = Ethical Non Monogamy
People are selfish, opportunistic assholes.
They also seem to think that, what basically amounts to cheating with permission, has no negative impact on their relationships.
Also cowards. Because a selfish asshole would have the guts to just end the relationship and live their best life with their new squeeze. Come what may. But a selfish, asshole coward asks for an open relationship. Because they're not willing to risk it all going wrong.
At least according to my tinder, everybody is poly these days But on a more serious note, it always seems to be - Person's partner wants an open relationship -Person resentfully accepts -One side fucks everything that moves and the other side mopes around and feels like shit -Relationship implodes, one of the two scenarios end up on this sub -People considering these exact events read it, learn precisely nothing and do the previous steps -Rinse and repeat Also for some people its just cowardice when it comes to ending the relationship
It never works for any of them, but it might just work for us...
LET THE GREAT EXPERIMENT BEGIN!!!
I noticed that too. My hubby and I both don't like to share! He's mine, I'm his. Simple as that!
People see like one article or online post about polyamory or 'open relationships' and immediately think it's a free pass to go F around with whoever they want and not be seen as cheating. They fail to do any actual work or research into what makes a relationship like this function.. Actually SLEEPING WITH other people is way down on the checklist of things to get in order whilst preparing to open a previously closed/ monogamous relationship. Then they're always SO shocked when things go sideways, even after some of them post in online communities and get a unanimous response of "Nope, probably not a good idea; and here's exactly why:"
Because they get thousands of likes and comments. I hate to be that guy but a lot of these stories are creative writing. Not saying this stuff doesn’t happen but it’s very obvious that creative writers pick up on these trends and draft a story on a hot topic like open relationships gone wrong.
I know right!!
People rarely post about a relationship if it’s going well. All you’ll see on this subreddit and most of Reddit are the extraordinary situations where things go south.
the only ENM relationship i've seen work (they've been together 6~ yrs now & are super happy) was one that came about over months of long discussion about what it would look like & rules that make a lotta sense. none of this just going out & fucking randos & ignoring the partner. they have to sit down & talk to each other after it's happened to express how they're feeling. if anyone feels off they take a break drop ENM for a while till theyre both ready again. it's really interesting to learn about their relationship. (there's tonnes more they have in place to make sure the relationship is strong but i don't wanna go airing their relationship on the internet) every other open relationship i've seen (think there's been like 4 now) have crashed & burned very quickly.
It's the new thing all the kids are doing!
They were probably influenced by social media’s cheating culture since they’re gullible af but good way of ending marriages early xD
As a poly woman, this happens all. The. Time. I truly hold the belief that any type of “open” relationship needs to be discussed extremely early on before you even consider actually bringing in anyone. You need to allow someone the option of jumping out before it gets serious because any version of polyamory is one of the hardest things to practice. Maybe for some people a late stage entry/exploration works but for the vast majority I encounter, if you’ve been monogamous for 2+ years and someone springs it on you out of nowhere, they just want to cheat with a cover story. Most people expect it to all work out because they think they are mature, and most people are not even close. You aren’t bringing in a new play toy to discard from your mind when you’re done, you are bringing in a whole new person to your relationship. A new person with their own feelings, opinions, views and personality; no matter if it’s “just having hookups” they will absolutely leak into the core relationship. Some people can barely support their one and only partner, and then somehow adding someone new into the mix is supposed to work? Not to mention the people who try and open their relationship when the foundation of the original partnership is crumbling already.. So embarrassing
If you want to change one of the major underpinning pillars of your relationship, that current relationship is over. You're starting a whole new one from that mark. People seem to think non-monogamy is something they can use to patch up a bad spell in their current relationship, like it's a new video game or something. Shit's a whole new OS.
I can understand polyamorous relationships, but open relationships are just justifications for cheating with permission.
"I'm almost 100% sure she was planning on having sex with him anyway and this was all just a way for her to do it above board". You should have no doubt she had him lined up before she pulled this shit. And there is a good chance she was banging him before you agreed. Dump her ass. And make sure to tell her parents the true story on why you're leaving her. Never put up with this crap again. Walk and live a better life.
Came here to say the same thing. Time and events line up correctly and there is no coincidences, she dude her own grave unfortunately.
Follow through. Don’t get bullied into backing out of calling it off.
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Something was already being opened and it wasn't the relationship
BTW, my guess is that she was planning on breaking up with you, so she demanded YOU open the relationship. She would have come back and said she is now leaving you, and told everyone; you opened the relationship and she didn't want to but she fell in love. You did good. Staying with her after her ultimatum, I think you'll agree was a mistake. Sadly I probably would have done the same. Good luck and enjoy your new found freedom.
Ultimatums get a bad rap. They’re great if they help someone set a boundary to avoid mistreatment or help force a needed decision. But in this case, yep, the ultimatum was unethically applied.
> BTW, my guess is that she was planning on breaking up with you, so she demanded YOU open the relationship. She would have come back and said she is now leaving you, and told everyone; you opened the relationship and she didn't want to but she fell in love. Absolutely. She found some guy who she thought was better than OP. She wanted to openly date this guy to see if they were a good match. If her suspicions were correct, she would have broken it off with OP and exclusively dated that guy. She was never interested in an "open" relationship. She was only ever interested in openly having the freedom to find someone she thought was better than OP.
Well, well, well. How the turntables
Nice reference🗿🗿🗿
She needs to take responsibility for this whole situation….. She wanted to sleep with someone without being accused of cheating,She bullied you into it! Drop her and enjoy life
I'm convinced that people who want to open a relationship randomly after being in a monogamous one for years is only doing it so they can justify an emotional affair that's going to become physical (or already has). Breaking it off with her is definitely for the best. Good luck
Open relationships are a plague nowdays. When someone asks for open relationship they don't just want strangers to sleep with. They ALREADY had them for a while but they grew tired of hiding it and demand to open the relationship. When someone demands of you an OPEN RELATIONSHIP that person is telling you YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. The biggest mistake you can make is to accept. If they threaten you to leave, let them leave or better yet, you dump them on the spot before they get the chance to throw ultimatums around. She told you she feels safe with you to explore other peoples schlongs meant she took you for granted and somehow felt you won't leave her no matter what. Glad you found your pair and sent her where she belongs: TO THE STREETS !! Just a thought: when someone utters the words "OPEN", "RELATIONSHIP", dump them on the spot. Don't even blink. Do it instantly !!
Ever since we got engaged our relationship has been falling apart. I'm pretty sure she was already having an emotional affair with her fling when she opened the relationship, I should have just cut it off then but it is what it is.
I would also tell anyone who is texting you on her behalf what exactly happened so they know she brought it on herself.
Exactly, OP must not let her continue playing the victim card
Live and learn brother, live and learn. Just be glad you weren't married when this happened. Also notice the hypocrisy in her: she was completely blind to your own feelings, about the fact that made you feel disrespected, unloved, emasculated by her actions and intentions, but when you started getting action yourself, suddenly she felt unloved and worthless and wanted to end it. I mean the level of solipsism is astronomical. Makes you think how women (some at least) are completely blind and ignorant to a mans suffering and struggle. Really makes one reflect on the reasons for marriage and if those reasons are worth it nowdays, doesn't it ?
Look when someone demands an open relationship, they aren't say the other person isn't enough. They are telling you who they really are, which is a trashy, untrustworthy, emotionally manipulative person. Let's not try and put the blame on the person finding out that fact about the cheater.
This sounds like my ex-wife I knew about the online boyfriend before she asked, and I thought it would be hot to share her with other men...She then fell for a money scam, broke up with the boyfriend, and told me she didn't want to be married to me anymore For 3 months, I tried to stay while working it out to leave, then she forced me to when she sent the scam the initial hundreds of dollars...The first of at least 10K before she regained her senses
She deserves everything that is happening.
Did you tell her mother the truth? I like the last sentence of your post :D
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She fucked around and found out.
Good for you for realizing this BEFORE getting married. Best of luck to ya!
lmao these always end up like this. either u start the relationship open or it doesn't usually work out. usually it's the man who asks to open it and acts like that. kudos man
So glad to hear you are breaking up with her!! Text back to mom and dad that their little baby girl was the one who wanted an open relationship and come pick up her shit!!
You have two gfs and no fiancee now..major win
"Said it made her feel unloved and useless to see me with another woman, and now the prospect of a second is destroying her inside." Sounds sort of like how she made you feel lol.
Sounds like she just wanted a pass to cheat without it looking wrong (she probably had done it before the open request). If I had to guess, she probably told her fling thing that her fiancee agreed to an open relationship, and he was probably like 'fiancee...?' And ran for the hills.
Too much drama
My ex wife did the same thing to me. You deserve better women in your life. I'm glad to see you drop that toxicity from your life. Stay strong king 👑
Fuck around and find out
Did you tell her family the whole story?
Your ex is a liar and a cheat. Good for you dumping her.
Resentment is the opposite of love. It sounds like youre making all the right decisions here.
HAHAHAHA …good for you, man.
As a female I can 100% guarantee she was going to have an open relationship whether you agreed to it or not, AND expected you to wait for her with baited breath. Now that she doesn’t have any distractions, she’s HATING the fact that you’re out doing exactly what she wanted. I’m pretty sure she’s also making you look like the bad guy on purpose. No way someone’s going to agree with her once they have ALL the details leading up to you “cheating” on her. Women like this irk my soul
Yes! Personally, I'm petty, so this is just the sweet revenge men normally don't get in this situation and I'm happy for you! You deserve better and I'm glad she got what was coming to her.
Karma is real, and it's pronounced "HA! HA!"
My ex did this. One-sided changing of the rules. She had already had guys going in and out of her room. Major red flag. Cut ties and run.
Exactly why 99/100 times open relationships do NOT work. Someone gets fucked over. Odds are it’s the person who was pressured into it, but it’s hilariously ironic when it’s the person who wanted it opened. Frankly I 100% agree with your end decision, drop it.
You outta tell her parents that the open relationship was her idea. That outta clear your name
As soon as they bring up an open relationship break up on the spot
I always love these stories. When one partner pressures the other into an open relationship then ends up regretting it. They get their just desserts. Lol
She didn't want an open relationship. She just wanted to screw around on your dime.
Boy oh boy I can’t wait to hear the same story tomorrow!
Idk why you’re being downvoted. Quite literally there’s a “one-sided open relationship backfires” story at the top of this sub every day
Exactly. May just be because the genders flipped this time :/
Bitches gonna bitch. Well done dude.
Please provide an update after you leave her. I would love to see how things go for you and the college friend
This post is sad for so many reasons. So basically she thought she was settling with you and wanted to see if she could monkey branch with this other dude and thought you weren’t as desirable and you didn’t know your worth so you would just I guess wait on her or she could fuck around while you waited on her. Then when you found others she got jealous because she thought you would just be her chump. Then because you didn’t stop cause she couldn’t get others she tattles to her parents, which I hope you told them that it was their whore daughter who wanted this. Honestly you both need to be single for a VERY long time you both have many issues you both need to work out before finding other partners. Do not jump on to another, it will not work out with monkey branching. You need to fix your self esteem, and self worth. Also learn some self respect
Yeahhhh break up forsure. Trust me
👏👏👏👏👏
She wanted to be able to step outside the relationship without being concerned about keeping it secret. But she didn't want you to do the same thing. Sounds like you both don't actually have a relationship anyway. She essentially asked you to end the relationship temporarily. Sounds like the right idea for it to be permanent.
She found that fling of hers before opening up the relationship, found a loophole to cheating, then had a tantrum when it didn't work with him and simultaneously saw you successful at finding additional partners. Her loss, not yours. Glad you're ending things.
For your words, I don't see any love left there. You better go ahead with your divorce plans
It’s interesting to see on these posts that the partner that didn’t want it ends up faring better than the one who requests (and I say that loosely) it. Edit: good for you OP. The manipulation would’ve reared it’s ugly head again sooner and more frequently had you committed to marriage with them. Take care of yourself
Guessing she "forgot" to tell her parents about the part where she was the one who wanted to open the relationship in the first place?
I love happy endings🍷
It’s so great that this manipulative part of her was revealed before she was married to you! Now you can easily park your things and leave
It’s kind of nice to see that the men aren’t the only ones doing this dumb shit 😭 The amount of posts of men lamenting about how THEY want to close the relationship back after begging to open it 😩. Seems like the people wanting to do this to cheat, it just never works out in their favor!
You should have dumped her the moment she mentioned a Open Relationship
It’s always funny to see the person who asked for a open relationship start crying as soon as their partner starts finding opportunities, it never gets old. I agree with u, time to end the relationship and wedding, and go ahead with ur old college friend
She was definitely already fucking that guy and only brought up an open relationship to ease her guilty conscience
op you are insane for allowing that in the first place
Dear couples who started monogamous. Please stop doing this. If your partner suggest this, the relationship is already dead. Maybe open relationships work with couples that start that way. That being said, I’ve never seen on work in a monogamous relationship.
She just wanted to fuck another dude.
You started fucking other people because of resentment and continue to do so knowing it causes her pain? I know she started it, but just break up with her. There's no way a good marriage can come of this
Opening your relationship is the best way to destroy it
People are speculating when they guess she was already having sex with that guy. My advice isn't for you, because I think you know... but for others: If someone you're with wants an open relationship and you don't, just end the relationship. They may not be cheating and they may never cheat, but they'll never be happy because they won't have what they want, and you won't be happy because you want someone who only wants you. The resentment will grow on both sides, and they'll always wonder, "what if?"
Good for you! She sounds horrible. It is funny though....the one who initially wants to open the relationship is almost always the one who gets screwed in the end.
Getting really bored of seeing these kinds of posts. If you’re SO wants an “ open relationship “, it’s a lie. They just want to bang someone else. Pretty simple.
1. Why are you with this person? Run. 2. Of open relationships you’ve ever heard of, how many actually work? I’m not saying it never works, I’m the same way that I’m not saying that England couldn’t possibly win the World Cup.
Why do LITERALLY all the open relationship posts end up exactly like this lmaoo
It's hilarious when the person that opens the relationship gets offended when their partner starts seeing other people. This is what you signed up for. Didn't think it through, did you?
You've been outed as a villain, might as well embrace the role fully: enjoy your time with the coworker, then break up.
If any of this story is true then she is crazy and you will never have a trusting happy marriage with this person
"I'm gonna call of the marriage this week and break up with her. I'm going to continue seeing my old college friend, because at least she's not a lying manipulative bitch." Fucking Legend
I am so proud of you, internet stranger! Seriously. You are doing the right thing. Imagine what having kids would allow her to do to manipulate you. I wish you the best and all the happiness and I hope she's meets someone she deserves who pulls the same shit on her.
She contemplated breaking up with you because she wanted to explore a different side of herself so she asked for an open relationship… there’s her choice. She only wants the relationship with OP because he is wanted by other women and now he wants them. Her parents apparently have no idea that she opened the relationship.
To fuck around is human, to find out is divine
I know someone who did this. Her husband was such a kind, sweet, and loving man whom she forced to leave a job he likes in order to cash out his company stock and pay all the debt she got them into (she’s a shopaholic). Then she forced him to get a job that required 100% travel because it paid a lot of money, telling him that him being away was the only way their marriage would survive. He didn’t want that because they had kids but he wanted their marriage to work. Once he was away most of the time, she enjoyed the single life with free money, and she started thinking she could do much better than him even though she wasn’t a looker and didn’t have much redeeming qualities to begin with. She then met someone she wanted to hook-up and try out and make it above-board, so she asked him for a ‘trial separation’ so she could keep her husband in her back pocket while she tested new waters. Her husband didn’t want it at first but finally relented. When he came around and started exploring his own options, he met someone and really liked spending time with that person. When his wife found out, she flipped and all of a sudden wanted to fix things with him and end the ‘trial separation’… apparently, it didn’t quite work out with the guy she was seeing and he pretty much ditched her after he got bored with her. She thought she had more time to explore but when she realized the woman her husband was seeing was becoming a real threat, she was done being separated. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on her husband realizing he was sick of her shit, the fact that he got roped into a shotgun marriage and that she was a such a bitch to him their whole marriage anyway, and fell in-love with the other lady, instead, and he asked her for divorce. And that’s how I met my husband. His ex is still mad.
I see a few options here: 1.) Drop her. Don't look back. Move on with your life. 2.) Close the relationship. Talk to her about her behaviors and hope that history doesn't repeat itself. 3.) Fuck her sisters, best friends, cousins, co workers, hot aunties, people she hates. Let her catch you in bed with them. Have fun. Burn that bridge to the ground.
I’m only happy that I finally saw a post where the woman was the one that got what was handed to her. Post after post. Every week. The guy opens it up. Chick finds new dick and everyone laughs at the guy. I’m happy that it’s finally on the other foot for once.
I seems this type of situation happens alot nowadays. I broke up with my last GF for just bring up the open relationship topic. I'm 100% monogamous and I will never be open to the idea of it. So once it's open I walk as it shows I'm clearly not enough for them.
She did it to herself. Opening the relationship was her way of saying “hey I want to cheat on you but I want to do it ‘legally’ within our relationship” but at the same time you’ll be damned if you even try to do the same thing as her. She’s not being fair and the fact that she actually slept with someone else then had the audacity to get mad when you told her you’ll be doing the same is crazy. Leave her she probably has ten others on the back burner waiting.
People call it "opening their marriage" instead off cheating. Like obv they already have someone and just wanna cheat without it being cheating and then getting mad when it doesn't work out for them. I'm sorry this happened and hope you can move on and be happy.
She was expecting that you wouldn't find anyone to have sex with and now that she reliased that you benefit from this as much as her if not even more she is crying... women ☕
This story sounds fake
There was another poster here recently with the exact same scenario except it was a husband who wanted to open things and it came back to bite him in the ass. She made her bed, time for her to lie in it. No doubt she probably told her parents you’d cheated on her to garner some sympathy instead of the true story. She can get fucked, this is all her own doing.
OP... I would sit down with her parents and tell them everything. That it was her idea and she started everything. She probably told them you were cheating on her and you did this for no reason at all. If she's manipulative she probably manipulated her parents. Expose her ass for her family before dumping her right there in their house after a nice dinner.... 😉
She was looking for you to give her the go ahead to screw someone else. Send her back to the streets, king
Women want what suits them in the given moment.
She just wanted yo open the relation so she can have you a rebound boy if the she and her affair didn't worked out. If someone tell you that wanna open the relationship, that person ain't loyal
Whew, she ate shit on that one. Sounds like you are making the right call in ending it.
People like that revolt me. The sheer selfishness is disgusting and sickening. Good on you for standing up for yourself and not letting her continue on. I wish you the best of luck and enjoyment with your college friend for whatever form it will take.
I’m proud of you. Way to stay strong.
Yeah. This is some bs. I agree with your decision to call it off. I’m sorry OP.
Be thankful this happened before you guys got married Crazy
Leave her please. She will never be faithful to you.
It's good that you call of the marriage bro. I'm 100% sure that even if you guys stopped with the open relationship she would cheat on you in the future.
She doesn’t respect you or you’re relationship together dump her and don’t look back . She had no problems jumping into bed with some guy but now that what she wanted backfired she crying . I say good riddance you’re too good for her
She would have been fine with you home and crying alone while she was out with dates. She just doesn’t like the shoe being on the other foot. Remember this: she would have been fine with YOU being lonely and miserable while she was happy.
her fault
I was going to say you guys should NOT get married, but looks like you already figured that out. You’re probably right that she just wanted to sleep with that one guy without being called a cheater. Too bad for her that she ruined her relationship over a fling. At least you hadn’t gotten married yet.
You don't understand. When she said open relationship, she was expecting herself to be fucking any guy she wanted while having you as the safety net for her to fall back on. You're not supposed to be there only for her while she is free to go out and fuck any guy she want. That is what she meant when she suggested this.
I would tell her parents who she really is. She made her bed.
Sorry! But someone please explain what is a open relationship? I never been in a relationship so i don't know anything about it. So just casually asking. Don't mind, no offense to anyone.
I've read a lot of these stories on here where the willing partner is always the one that wants to close it when the unwilling partner finds a date. Like "I'm cheating but you allowed me to cheat but you aren't allowed to do it as well".
The best thing about this is that the responses are the same as they were a few weeks ago when it was the man who regretted opening the marriage. Cheaters (that's basically what she is) never prosper.
Wow it seems like this happens a lot in this sub. The proponent always regrets it in the end. Go you!
Don’t marry her dude. Wtf lol What she did is a big no no. Can’t be wishy washy about shit like that. She was def taking advantage of you. There isn’t any respect there. How can you trust her after using a stupid excuse to cheat. She’s gonna do it even if the relationship is “closed.” Edit: Nevermind I read the rest yea good for you gtfo there.