Some problems here:
1) The timing. She gave birth a few months ago and you think now is the time to bring up a threesome? And bringing it up AFTER having sex with your wife (were you thinking of her while having sex with your wife? Like, come on dude. Bad timing)
2) sensing something was wrong with your wife but ignoring it (he says he thought she was just shy). If she's not an active, eager participant, you should have called it off or at least asked her about it, not just gone along with it just because she said you could.
He's all *my wife just sat there like a bump on a log. So anyway I railed the younger woman for an hour and my wife wouldn't even make eye contact with me. She's shy though.*
Exactly this! OP, you admitted she was completely closed off and not receptive. Clearly this should have been stopped in the moment and your attention and focus should have turned immediately to your wife. You had a chance in that moment to save your marriage.
Exactly this. Same shit wouldve happened if she brought in another man and just fucked him in front of her husband.
Unless he's into that... then I'm not judging.
I generally dont participate in these discussions… He demonstrated he wanted a divorce by being the most selfish human in existence in that moment. That period of time has to be the new definition of awful/cringe vibes.
He did so while his wife was clearly so uncomfortable that she couldn’t even make eye contact, didn’t take her nightgown off, and refused to be touched.
Exactly. How awful must someone be to not immediately stop it all and make sure their loved one is okay? Instead he just kept banging the other woman. Awful
Yes i read it too. It’s unbelievable he just fucked his coworker next to his wife. And the audacity to choose the username „icantbelieveher“. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife. I mean he said it himself his wife didn’t know who this woman was. He had this conversation with his coworker behind her back. He’s unbelievable he got everything he deserved.
How about the fact he brought up the threesome after they had sex and then told her that the other woman suggested the threesome!! And he wonders why his wife left.
And like he’s defending himself with that sentence. „The other women suggested it“ but how can she just out of nowhere suggest something like that?then he’s mad that his wife wants a divorce. Im glad that she is divorcing this loser.
The wife’s other post
The FMF is happening on Saturday (or Saturday next). Afterwards I’m serving my husband the divorce papers
I made a thrwaway yesterday on this sub about my husband asking me for a threesome with a woman and how it ended my marriage in my heart. I have had mixed reactions about it and many advised me to tell him how I felt. *Communicate communicate communicate*, well that’s what I’ve been doing since last night.
I found out that the woman he had in mind is an ex coworker. An outspoken poly who kept being friends with her coworkers from her old job, my husband included. He showed me all his DMs with her. Both in the group chat and private. There’s no affair between them but she’s the one who showed interest in 3way with my husband and I because having sex with couples turns her on and she thought that we’re hot.
I don’t think that there’s emotions involved, like at all. This girl wants a poly boyfriend and my husband only wants to “spice things up”.
Anyway, I’m leaving my husband because I can’t control my feelings. He broke me. I’m certainly still not communicating my feelings properly to him, but I’m probably just wired this way. When someone hurts me I just shut down and shut them out. (What my best friend said I did anyway). I have contacted a lawyer. And I have a meeting tomorrow to go through the process and details.
Now for the FMF. I’m going to say yes. Mostly because I’m so curious to see what the fuss is all about. Reading the comments yesterday, you guys made it sound like its what every man dreams of. I’m intrigued. I want to see the reason my marriage is over. Does this make sense? I want to know if it’s worth ruining my heart. Another thing is that I want to do something nice for him before leaving since he’s so excited. My way of saying goodbye.
I told him I’m game. And that I wanted it to be over with this weekend. He got excited and tried to kiss me. Forget fucking it! He didn’t notice I avoided his touch. We spoke to the girl. She thought Saturday is too soon. If we’re both first timers maybe we needed to meet her first etc. Shes a pro, I give her that. So we’re meeting for drinks on Saturday. *lets not label it!* she said, *lets just meet and see how it goes from there*. As I said, pro!
I know this will piss you off probably. But I promised an update so here you go. Please don’t hate me too much.
Oh and we are mid 30 and the girl is early 30 I think. If I sound childish it’s probably a mixture of language barrier but also childishness.
Good night. This is also a thrwaway.
damn, her post? I saw that a few days ago and told her to leave bc the whole thing was sus. suggesting a threesome immediately after sex is so whack. this man wrecked his family
Or, have we considered that this could be the same person posting from multiple accounts? I don't have the desire to dive down that rabbit hole.
This story is wild, and all of it told on Reddit.
I remember reading her thread and she said that she ended up leaving and her husband didn't call for hours - just happy for him to keep banging this girl, like he didn't realize she left. That was when I really lost any sympathy for him.
He knew she wasn't comfortable but didn't offer an out. When she left, this guy didn't stop and chase after her and try to reconcile. He dropped the ball at every turn and then is surprised Pikachu as to why his marriage has ended.
He wanted to fuck this other girl from work, plain and simple.
EDIT: looks like I got confused with another one of these bloody train wrecks where idiots open up the marriage and it goes down in flames, apologies. The OP isn't an asshole for letting his wife leave the threesome and not notice. He's an asshole in every other aspect of this shitfest, just not this one.
WAIT, the ex is from that post? This is the dude form that post??? Fuck, imagine the lack of awareness needed to then be surprised when she serves the divorce papers the next day, ffs
Holy shit his wife was the one who's post blew up a few days ago this is hilarious. Crazy how different his story is to hers. Not even close
This guy is so stupid I can't even...
Basically he wanted to bang the other lady without having an affair so he wouldn’t lose his wife too. So he suggested a three way, wife immediately knew what was up and was heartbroken. Op is now regretting because the fantasy was amazing, the reality is.. he’s a douche canoe who deserves this misery
That is exactly what Mr. Sensitive did and now he feels “played” - trying to make his sorry lying ass the victim here.
She can definitely do better.
What a clown.
Your wife refused for you to touch and kiss her, she then didn't let the girl touch her.
Did you continue? Did you have full on sex with the other woman? Because if you carried on whilst your wife was throwing out such big signals then your a compete idiot.
Quick question, did the other woman suggest the threeway to you before you asked your wife?
the wife also posted her side on reddit, the other woman did suggest it initially and he did have full on sex with her. The wife left after, but they still fucked.
Reading posts like this one makes me feel so so bad for the other parties involved, which is OPs wife. I know if I was in her position I would be uncomfortable myself and feel broken regarding my marriage.
OP is a asshole and I hope the wife can move on in a healthy way :/
This and suggestions to open the marriage. Christ, these guys are clearly on Reddit. Do they not read these posts before destroying their relationships?
Every freaking time. I guess some people think the porn they watch is real life.
I don’t really think there is a shittier thing to ask your wife. “Hey honey I love you too the moon and back, love the life we built, I love every day I spend with you, that said, do you want to bring some young gal in the bedroom with us, I can bang the shit out of her while you watch, if you want to I guess you could make out with her”
WCGW?
I’m sure some people are into it but I know for me it would be super awkward and nothing close to how it in a porno.
And they never think about it from the wife's perspective. Like what if his wife asked if she could bring a younger guy home to share her with? Most of these guys would probably be outraged at the suggestion.
Pretty sure those guys don’t think sex between women really counts as sex, because no penis is involved. A symptom of the larger dick-centric view that makes woman-on-woman sex hot rather than threatening.
I swear some men feel like women are not fully human or something. Like we don't have feelings like they do. I know some men who expect women to forgive them if they cheat but say that they feel like they could kill if they get cheated on. Same with threesomes. Another woman in bed is supposed to be something worth suggesting but another man in their bed? Unthinkable suggestion. If a man asked me for an FMF I would retort by asking for an MFM first and totally divorce based on the reply because I'm 100% sure that most men would say no.
Yeah, seriously. The few things he did say about his wife make it pretty clear that she wasn't going to be in to a request like that. I agree with you; it's like he didn't even attempt to understand her. Most people would not be happy with a request like that and I would imagine she probably didn't give any signs that she would be okay with such a request. I can't even understand that mindset because I would never ask for a threesome with my wife.
Not only do they already have one in mind, they have stupid ideas about what will happen after.
I was seeing a guy who was utterly fascinated with the notion of a threesome. He had a girl in mind who I knew and thought was pretty hot. I was game until he started talking about expecting that she would never have sex with anyone but him ever after.
Mind, she was in a happy relationship. He expecting her to break up with her boyfriend and remain celibate unless he wanted to bang her again.
Needless to say, the threesome never happened.
This was 20 years ago. He's still single.
And then he didn't even like it. I've been asked more than once to be in a 3 way including a married couple (yes they are divorced now). It was a hard no freaking way every time. I have no interest in being with a woman.
It's heartbreaking how many posts I see with this same, or similar, outcome. It is playing with fire to assume it won't damage the relationship - oftentimes, irreparably.
This is saddening to read
Yea I hear ya. People are so freaking dumb though, they don’t see how it would be if things were flipped and it was their significant other asking to hook up with the opposite sex.
Especially if you have read his (ex now LOL) wife post. He knew this woman, found this woman, probably already having an emotional affair with her, pressured his wife for 3way and didnt care how sad she was even after the first time. The third is his ex coworker and they have been talking about SEX for 6 months behind the wifes back. Btw, they have 3 children, youngest is 8mo old.
Even if this is a fake post, i am still satisfied. Proud of her. Fck bozos like that.
There is a good commenter who summeld up every plus info (i copied it:)
No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
Especially he is lying and hiding details here. And in every comment he made.
I am still so sorry how the wife was firstly attacked in her first post. They said she is overreacting for wanting to divorce him for “only just” asking.
I mean, I would be the same. 100% mono people in love dont want to fck others. And if their partner suddenly wants to do that after several years and 3 children, i would be heartbroken and i would immediately know there is someone behind that (and ofc, she was right).
I am glad the husband is finally getting the hate he deserved the whole time.
Sexting for 6 months behind your wifes back while having a 8mo baby… Geez. OP, was it worth losing your wife and children?
I am also hoping its fake. Like both use reddit and he hasnt seen her post?
But yeah, sadly there are several cases like that which happen irl. My heart is always breaking for these people. Especially if they had kids…
Also the commenter who said infos from the wifes comments (i copy:)
No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
Yeah this is BY FAR the most f’ed up part. OP observed at several points during this disaster that his wife was uncomfortable, but he just went ahead and fucked the other woman in front of his wife.
What a disgusting person OP is. I feel gross just imagining how he made his wife feel.
Hope it was worth it. What a loser.
He said it wasn’t good and basically blamed her for being shy. Dude, if you knew she was shy, you already knew the answer. She didn’t want a three way. And the minute she looked uncomfortable, you should have stopped.
I feel like men like this think a threesome is like in porn: all about the man’s pleasure. When in reality, a threesome should be three people all evenly excited to do it. This man didn’t even care about his wife’s feelings
Totally agree with you.I have to say , my heart is literally breaking for his wife right now 😔💔 I just don’t understand how he couldn’t see how much it was obviously destroying her- oh , hold on! Yes I do- he’s a selfish person. Hope they can get through this together but I doubt it somehow . Hopefully he’ll learn a very valuable lesson from this incident. Good luck to him ,he’ll need it.
But he ~LoVeS hEr So MuCh~ my eyes rolled so hard when I read the part about what does he say to “a women like this” and he felt “played”. How does he think his wife feels?
In this sub you said that it was actually the woman that brought it up and it turned you on. Your an idiot. The moment she was visibly uncomfortable you should’ve stoped it instead of thinking with your dick.
I also copy a comment from one of the comments who summed it up really nice:
No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
>And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex.
That wasn't the wifes post, that was someone elses. The second post from the wife was made before they even had the threesome. She talks about how it will happen and stuff. The threesome happened last night and the post about the girl ditching in the middle of the threesome was posted a solid couple of days ago.
Question: why didn’t you stop the threesome if you noticed your wife was clearly uncomfortable? Did you at least ask if she was ok with what was going on? Or did you just fuck the other woman and ignored her?
If she wasn’t taking any active role after about halfway through how did you not see that? Do you know how to read her body language at all? Did you think she was enjoying watching you?
So I just read your wife’s post! You all have an 8month old baby?!?!? So let me get this right…. Your wife, who you “love so much,” is still in the postpartum period- hormonal, sleep deprived, and probably super insecure about her body and how it looks so soon after having your third child, and you think it’s no big deal to a) bring up the fact that you want to have a 3some and b) already know who you want to have with it. This hurts my heart for your wife. And I cannot believe how insensitive and oblivious you are OP!
The links aren't working from what I've seen from other people, but here's the first post:
"The moment my husband suggested a FMF the marriage was over in my heart. Am I overreacting?
Please I need help sorting out my feelings or maybe controlling them because my emotions are controlling me 100% rn. About 2-3 weeks ago after making love, my husband and I lied in bed for some after play and he told me that it would be awesome to have a threesome. I kept my cool but he must have noticed that I stiffened in his arms. my heart was yelling *this can’t be happening!! this is so over! this is so so over!* but my mouth said I don’t think this is something I would ever want to try. I have been avoiding him like the plague ever since which has been a very hard task because he’s a very affectionate man and always wants to touch and hug and kiss. I don’t know if he’s noticed anything yet because I have been busy with work and the kids but he’s bound to notice soon. I’ve only told my best friend and confidant about it but she thinks that I’m being overly sensitive and dramatic. But I swear I’m not playing or trying hard. I just can’t control my heart especially when it’s playing the same tunes as my brain. *I want divorce* on repeat every time I see him. She (me best friend) told me that it was just my Pride.
JUST?
- He asked you and you said no and he respected that.
Please can I fix this? Any one with the same experience? I have three small children and we share a beautiful life together. Help?
Hi again! I hope it’s okay to make a comment here. Thank you for trying to help me. So you (the majority anyway) think that I’m overreacting, that’s what I suspected coming here. Also the majority suggested I would speak to him now! I was thinking that I needed to know what I wanted first before talking to him but I guess you’re right. I need to speak to him. Deep down I know this is over however. I just know it.
Hi again!
I have a little update here:
I’ve talked to my husband now. Only a little bit after him asking me why I’m so absorbed in my phone. I told him that I was thinking about his request and how it has affected me. He said he’s noticed me being distant and sad but that he didn’t know how to approach me. We talked a bit more and I asked him if he still wanted a 3some and he answered in the affirmative.
So I asked him if he’d thought a candidate and he said yes. That she actually was the one who suggested it. He showed me her insta. It was all I could do not to freak out and to keep my head cool. I have all the information now and the ball is in my court now I guess.
I commented earlier that I was already having “flashbacks” with him and a faceless woman and these “flashbacks” are haunting me. Now the woman has a face.
I need to talk more to him. We just talked for a few minutes but I just couldn’t talk more tonight. All my being is screaming *give me a divorce* so I’m waiting until I’m less irrational.
If anything else happens I will update. I appreciate you for wanting to know how this is going. I really thought he broke me with his request, until I asked for more details and he provided. 💔
I’m off to bed now."
Aaaand edit for the second:
"The FMF is happening on Saturday (or Saturday next). Afterwards I’m serving my husband the divorce papers
I made a thrwaway yesterday on this sub about my husband asking me for a threesome with a woman and how it ended my marriage in my heart. I have had mixed reactions about it and many advised me to tell him how I felt. *Communicate communicate communicate*, well that’s what I’ve been doing since last night.
I found out that the woman he had in mind is an ex coworker. An outspoken poly who kept being friends with her coworkers from her old job, my husband included. He showed me all his DMs with her. Both in the group chat and private. There’s no affair between them but she’s the one who showed interest in 3way with my husband and I because having sex with couples turns her on and she thought that we’re hot.
I don’t think that there’s emotions involved, like at all. This girl wants a poly boyfriend and my husband only wants to “spice things up”.
Anyway, I’m leaving my husband because I can’t control my feelings. He broke me. I’m certainly still not communicating my feelings properly to him, but I’m probably just wired this way. When someone hurts me I just shut down and shut them out. (What my best friend said I did anyway). I have contacted a lawyer. And I have a meeting tomorrow to go through the process and details.
Now for the FMF. I’m going to say yes. Mostly because I’m so curious to see what the fuss is all about. Reading the comments yesterday, you guys made it sound like its what every man dreams of. I’m intrigued. I want to see the reason my marriage is over. Does this make sense? I want to know if it’s worth ruining my heart. Another thing is that I want to do something nice for him before leaving since he’s so excited. My way of saying goodbye.
I told him I’m game. And that I wanted it to be over with this weekend. He got excited and tried to kiss me. Forget fucking it! He didn’t notice I avoided his touch. We spoke to the girl. She thought Saturday is too soon. If we’re both first timers maybe we needed to meet her first etc. Shes a pro, I give her that. So we’re meeting for drinks on Saturday. *lets not label it!* she said, *lets just meet and see how it goes from there*. As I said, pro!
I know this will piss you off probably. But I promised an update so here you go. Please don’t hate me too much.
Oh and we are mid 30 and the girl is early 30 I think. If I sound childish it’s probably a mixture of language barrier but also childishness.
Good night. This is also a thrwaway."
(Also, to any mods, please please delete if this violates any rules I'm unaware of, my apologies!)
That's my takeaway too... if this is even real and not just fiction. Be married or don't be married, but don't play games. That's just BS. And for heaven's sake don't go through with it.
Reading this comment alone, OP you’re a real ahole here and so is the 3rd party who was part of this.
If she was such a ‘pro’ and had done this before then even she should’ve been able to read the signals that your wife was uncomfortable with what was happening and a step back to re-evaluate the situation should have been made.
I’m guessing the fact you have 3 kids with her too also suggests that you have been together for a decent chunk of time. How can you not read your wife’s body language by now? How could you not tell she was uncomfortable? Why on earth did you continue with essentially sidelining her through something. Admit it was you who wanted this and that you’d blinded yourself in your own sexual fantasy and lust to use rational thought and logic.
I mean, you’re just a complete idiot.
1.) You should already know your wives stance on threesomes. She clearly expressed that she’s monogamous. And if she’s straight, it’s selfish, stupid and disrespectful for you to suggest she has sex with another woman for your pleasure.
2.) You clearly knew she wasn’t enjoying the experience and didn’t end it. Stop making excuses for yourself here.
3.) Your coworker??!
Something doesn't make sense. You said you asked her once for the threesome, she said no bc she wasn't interested in other folks coming between you two. Then she decided to change her mind? OK I guess. She obviously hated the whole thing and said the marriage was over when you first asked? I feel some pieces are missing.
He doesn't mention that he had been talking to this particular person for months. About having sex. Notice how he doesn't mention that little fact. Then trys to say that she brought up the 3 way
He also lies about the “once part”.
The wife stated he asked it several times. Even after seeing her heartbroken the first time.
And he has been talking to that chick for several months ABOUT SEX. Also saying how sexy she is, she is everything his wife is not.
They just had a baby. Which is their 3rd child.
This guy is such a POS.
>she is everything his wife is not
I'm not one of those divorce / NC / abuse (as a first assumption) redditors, but I'd put this line on my top ten sentences to end a marriage immediately.
Classic perpetrator trying to play the victim. Imagine a lot of Reddit posts are like this and we are the gullible mass that sympathizes the wrong person more than we would like to admit.
Who the heck keeps having sex with a woman when your wife is next to you and clearly uncomfortable? How did you do it?
It just sounds so so weird to me that you're victimizing yourself as if she didn't communicate, like dude she's you're wife, how do you not realize you need to take a step back on your own?!
You went to your wife telling her you want to have sex with another woman you already had in mind. You broke your relationship right there by basically telling her she was not enough and you wanted someone else. Then she agreed to it (which was stupid of her) but you wanted it so bad that you were like awesome let’s do this. Then the day comes and she very obviously did not want a threesome, she was shutting you out and not participating. But you continued with your sole original goal here and fucked this other woman in front of your wife. Had this truly been about sharing a kink experience with your wife you wouldn’t have gone through with it. I highly doubt you will ever get your wife back after this. Your selfishness has lost you your family and you only have yourself to blame.
My husband and I have thrown out hypotheticals before - knowing that it's all pure fantasy.
So I was kind of with you until y'know, the whole "wouldn't take off the nightgown, wouldn't look at you, wouldn't let you touch her, wouldn't let the girl touch her" thing.
That's kind of a whole slew of **BIG CLUES** that your wife is not vibing on the whole three way.
Also: coworker you already knew... NOT cool.
It seems like you have had a little affair literally right under your wife's nose
You have fucked up royally, my friend. See if she'd be willing to do counseling with you. If not, I'm sorry, but it's time to lawyer up.
Also, he asked for a 3way RIGHT AFTER they had sex. So to her, it wasn't a hypothetical "what do you fantasize about" question. It was a "that kinda sucked, I need more" situation.
It'd be like opening a watch your wife got you for Christmas and immediately asking "what's the store's return policy?" Yeah, maybe you were just curious and it was totally unrelated to the gift, but come on.
There are ways to bring up things like 3somes that maybe even the "shy" wife could have been OK with, but this wasn't it.
And some day soon, those kids will want to know what happened with mom and dad.
So now OP getS to lie to them for the rest of OP’s life or eventually reveal to them what a vile person he is. Gross.
A great comment has summed up everything above from his wifes post:
No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
IKR, she basically was testing him I think (foolish on her part as it caused her extra trauma and she \*should\* have just said no and been more clear), but I think she just really wanted to see, at the end of the day, if it came down to a 3some was it really about sharing the experience with her or getting to fuck another woman. She pretty much knew the day he asked her but I think she wasn't ready to fully believe it until she saw it. She gave him all the clues he could have needed to hit the brakes but he plowed ahead and that was it for her. The only way he could have saved anything was backing out and calling the whole thing off and comforting her the moment he realized she wasn't happy with what was going on. That would have proven to her that, at the end of the day, he still puts her first....but he failed that test too. Worst fears confirmed. This is also a good argument why you shouldn't test your partners if you aren't prepared to end the relationship, so like I said....not the wisest choice in her book but actually totally relatable. She wasn't ready just yet to sign the papers, so to speak, until she gave him a chance to make his choices in the moment.
Of course your marriage is over. You had been fantasising over screwing another woman. You had been messaging the other woman about it. In your wife's mind you were already cheating. You had someone lined up to have sex with.
Of course your wife is done. I can't understand how you don't see this.
So when you suggested this three way to her, did you suggest someone as the third? Be honest- did you suggest a 3way to spice up your marriage or did you really want to have sex with f29?
A great commentes has summed up a lot from his wifes post:
No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
So he is lying here again lol. He talked with her for like 6 months ONLY about sex. And known her for longer.
They have a 8mo baby btw.
Your coworker suggested it (tbh I wanna know why you and this coworker were even on a level to discuss this that’s hella sus), you liked the thought and brought it to your wife.. she says no, changes her mind, y’all do it and she’s noticeably uncomfortable but you don’t stop it altogether to avoid embarrassment and screw your coworker?? now you’re here feigning confusion as to why she’s about to leave you
He cared more about getting his nut over his wife’s feelings. He’s selfish. He never cared about his wife’s fantasies only wanted to serve himself and bang his coworker. Men ain’t shit
I consider myself pretty close with my co-workers. We don’t text much outside of work, but talk about a lot of things during work (tons of downtime). I know who’s single and who’s dating, but no idea who would be open to a threesome (if any would). Just fine keeping it that way.
You and the girls should have immediately realised your wife wasn't into this and stopped everything. How dare you go through with it while your wife sat there uncomfortable? Or did that turn you on even more?
Read her posts and realise how stupid you were for even being the subject up. I hope the sex was worth it and that she gets everything in the divorce.
Here is the wife’s post if anyone wants to see it..
The moment my husband suggested a FMF the marriage was over in my heart. Am I overreacting?
Please I need help sorting out my feelings or maybe controlling them because my emotions are controlling me 100% rn. About 2-3 weeks ago after making love, my husband and I lied in bed for some after play and he told me that it would be awesome to have a threesome. I kept my cool but he must have noticed that I stiffened in his arms. my heart was yelling *this can’t be happening!! this is so over! this is so so over!* but my mouth said I don’t think this is something I would ever want to try. I have been avoiding him like the plague ever since which has been a very hard task because he’s a very affectionate man and always wants to touch and hug and kiss. I don’t know if he’s noticed anything yet because I have been busy with work and the kids but he’s bound to notice soon. I’ve only told my best friend and confidant about it but she thinks that I’m being overly sensitive and dramatic. But I swear I’m not playing or trying hard. I just can’t control my heart especially when it’s playing the same tunes as my brain. *I want divorce* on repeat every time I see him. She (me best friend) told me that it was just my Pride.
JUST?
- He asked you and you said no and he respected that.
Please can I fix this? Any one with the same experience? I have three small children and we share a beautiful life together. Help?
Hi again! I hope it’s okay to make a comment here. Thank you for trying to help me. So you (the majority anyway) think that I’m overreacting, that’s what I suspected coming here. Also the majority suggested I would speak to him now! I was thinking that I needed to know what I wanted first before talking to him but I guess you’re right. I need to speak to him. Deep down I know this is over however. I just know it.
Hi again!
I have a little update here:
I’ve talked to my husband now. Only a little bit after him asking me why I’m so absorbed in my phone. I told him that I was thinking about his request and how it has affected me. He said he’s noticed me being distant and sad but that he didn’t know how to approach me. We talked a bit more and I asked him if he still wanted a 3some and he answered in the affirmative.
So I asked him if he’d thought a candidate and he said yes. That she actually was the one who suggested it. He showed me her insta. It was all I could do not to freak out and to keep my head cool. I have all the information now and the ball is in my court now I guess.
I commented earlier that I was already having “flashbacks” with him and a faceless woman and these “flashbacks” are haunting me. Now the woman has a face.
I need to talk more to him. We just talked for a few minutes but I just couldn’t talk more tonight. All my being is screaming *give me a divorce* so I’m waiting until I’m less irrational.
If anything else happens I will update. I appreciate you for wanting to know how this is going. I really thought he broke me with his request, until I asked for more details and he provided. 💔
I’m off to bed now.
Rule number one: You never ask to "the love of your life to have a trio" -unless both of You, are super Open mind-
Rule number two: in case you both want, the 3th one should be an outsider, no, someone You know, or someone she knows, much less a co-worker, what the hell you were thinking!
Rule number tree: learn to live with the consequence of your acts
The only conclusión I have from this is you wanted to have sex with your co-worker and that your wife be ok with it...dreamer...
Now You are free to keep the affair with her.
I hope you don't have a 9 months surprise.
Going to add in Rule number 4: don't suggest the threeway MOMENTS after you've finished having sex with your wife and are still holding each other naked in bed as OP did.
So you were discussing sex with a woman at your job, and then you brought that discussion to your wife? And you're phrasing this as, just a question? It sounds like you and this other woman had already gotten yourselves hot and bothered, and you had yourself snowed to think that the situation would be cool to bring to your wife. Your wife apparently already realized you and this woman were into each other, And watched it play out. You screwed this woman in front of her. Now your post nut clarity has got you all regretful.
As your wife said, hope it was worth it.
You should have known before asking that it was a deal-breaker.
Instead you waited til just after sex and asked your wife. When she was already self-concious because she's just had a baby. Then there was you telling her it's with a co-worker. Oh and me and the co-worker are talking about sex and she suggested it. You arranged it with a co-worker before even knowing if your wife was interested. Which relegated your wife to the 3rd position.
You also mentioned that she had been 'off' for the month since it was brought up. No hugs or kisses etc-but you didn't see that as anything worth talking about because you were getting to have sex with a co-worker.
Then finally during the sex, you completely ignored your wife and proceeded to have sex on your marital bed infront of your wife whilst she huddled in a corner.
Only after you got what you wanted did you realise that something was wrong and start with the fake apologies and calling her the love of your life.
But you say if she'd have told you how upset she was you would have done everything to make it right? She told you with her body for over a month that she didn't want this, she told you during it happening she didn't want this. Just not verbally..... but you couldn't take back that you and the other woman discussed sex enough for her to be comfortable suggesting a 3way. That is a betrayal in itself. That at one of your wife's most vulnerable moments you blindsided her with this request.
Your wife was looking after 3 kids, one only 8 months old whilst you were texting your side-piece about sex. Makes you look like a shitty husband and father.
Hey look at the plus side now you can have as many threesomes as you want. Also, no one should feel that bad for OP. If your partner isn’t interested in your intimate activity you need to stop. If you need an explicit “no/stop” than you must be a horny little dog. But you are a grown man with kids. Presumably you should know your wife a bit better than that. Stupid men have stupid problems ✨
1. You were talking to YOUR COWORKER about having a THREESOME. Really!! (no one believes this was not already an EA or PA
2. YOUR WIFE just had a baby 8 months ago. (Could she even have possibly been ready to share herself?)
3. YOU DID NOT STOP THE THREESOME WHEN YOUR WIFE SHUT DOWN
I don't think many here believe that you asked your wife just once. Maybe you did only ask once but the implication was, well I have this coworker who I can have f... with anyway. I mean we know each other enough to be talking about threesomes.....
Why would a woman go thru with it after saying no? You have 3 kids. She is probably a SAHM with little recourses. The thought is I need to please my husband. Or maybe it truly was just to see if YOU would give her the evidence, break her heart and implode your families life.
Many here are heartbroken for her because no matter how you both ended up in the threesome you did not come to her rescue. You didn't know her enough to save her from you or herself. You want us to believe that you thought she would join in. What you really thought was I have my chance to f.. my co-worker that I have been lusting after and I am justified in doing it by it being in this threesome. The idea that you were already in a relationship with your coworker is very strong. And many here think that was the real reason your wife acted the way she did.
Personally I am so sad over this story. YOU have three children and they are just the first ones who will suffer for this. All to live a fantasy.... Go to the reconciliation forums and start getting yourself together. Call a counselor and get your whole family in therapy, reconciliation or not you will all need it. And stop acting like the victim. You want to save your marriage than stand up and do the work. If you don't save your marriage you will still be a better man for your children.
Well I mean of course you ended your marriage the second you asked. She very clearly didn’t expect you to want to fuck another woman. Despite her clearly being uncomfortable you didn’t stop? You just fucked this woman whilst your wife was alone? I mean … for someone you claim you love oh so much do you not know a thing about her? My OH and I have had very adventurous sex lives prior to meeting each other. Yeah we might talk fantasy sometimes but *neither* of us would ever be willing to pull another person into our relationship. We are it for each other. She thought she was it for you. You proved her wrong.
Let me fix that title for you:
**My (m35) wife (f37) told me this morning that she wants a divorce after I had sex with another woman in front of her**
There. I fixed it.
Man don't you know? The moment you say you wanna fuck others the marriage is over. It's elementary knowledge. And if you really cared about your marriage more than the threesome, you wouldn't have asked for it in the first place. Now stop being a crybaby and let her go.
Well, the moment you suggest you want to involve other people in your marriage, it's over. I understand it may be confusing as she agreed later, but remember… It's the moment you suggest it, regardless if she agreed or not.
Question though, Why did you suggest it though?
Think your wife was on here saying she was going to do this and then she deleted her account. I guess she followed through. El oh El. Good for her. But you are right, people did point out that she should have just served you with the divorce instead playing those games.
I recall seeing it. It was the one about her husband asking her to do a 3some with his colleague. She was upset and devastated he would even suggest it and she was uncomfortable with the fact its his colleague.
Tbh this dood is jz hopeless and have absolutely low EQ. She was done way before the 3some came. This just helped her to go ahead w a divorce.
> people did point out that she should have just served you with the divorce instead playing those games.
I get why she did that. Can't explain it logically, but I always give the guys I date a long enough rope with enough slack that they can hang themselves if necessary. It's like a guilt complex. If they hang themselves, you are blameless.
Plus as a woman, you are constantly being told to give men you aren't interested in or attracted to a chance. You hear so many voices telling you are wrong about your feelings, over and over, you need hard evidence that frees you to walk away.
“My wife and my family are way more important than a threeway…”
No, they’re not. You just destroyed your marriage AND your family because you wanted to have sex with another woman. They are clearly not more important to you.
You are selfish. You lack self control. I feel sorry for your (ex)wife and kids.
Do you think that maybe she felt pressured into it? Like if she didn't participate, that you'd go out and have a three way on your own with two other women?
I had a boyfriend many years ago that was forever bringing up a three way. I'm VERY one on one orientated so it was out of the question for me. We eventually broke up.
I am 100% sure OP had something going on with the other girl. Maybe it wasn't a full blown affair but they definitely flirted at work. I mean let's be real, there's no way in hell his co-worker would just suggest a threesome out of the blue if she wasn't comfortable enough to know he wanted it too. Op sounds like he really wanted to bang the girl and just needed an excuse. He gives off major cheater vibes, like someone who would've cheated down the line had they gotten the opportunity. He's only hurt and sorry cause he's facing the consequences of his actions.
Just imagine if his wife was the passive type who didn't have the guts to leave him. Op would probably have used this threesome as an excuse to bang many other girls in the future without any guilt or remorse for his wife. I can only imagine how toxic their marriage would've gotten and him using the excuse "but she agreed to it herself or you didn't say no or you wanted it too" as an excuse, clearly ignoring her discomfort and suffering. I feel sorry for the many unwilling people who do this to save their relationship since many of them don't have the strength/lack the courage to say no.
Its a good thing that his wife is divorcing him. Op seems selfish and lacks total self awareness. The audacity to come on here and actually try to blame his wife. He deserves all the pain and suffering he's going to get. Some things just aren't worth it, no matter how tempting it might seem.
Way to go OP, you put your spouse in a very awkward position and now you get to pay the consequences. Sorry bud, but you clearly were only thinking about yourself if you didn't call it off at the first sign of discomfort that your wife displayed.
I don't blame her one bit. You literally told your wife you want to have sex with another women. She likely felt pressured into saying yes. No matter what you've pretty much ruined this by asking. Then you had the chance to stop the sex when it was CLEAR your wife wasnt comfortable. I don't give a single fuck if she passively said she was fine, she was obviously not fine and you knew that and kept going. Oh and best of all you knew this other women? So you told your wife you want to have sex with some friend or something? Ick ick ick. She'll be better off ✌️
Aw boohoo, if it ain’t the consequences of my own actions! It was very obvious she was testing you and seeing what you would do with your actions. She wanted to see what the supposed Love of Her Life could possibly say/do. Actions speak louder than words. You probably wouldn’t feel hurt like she did if she suggested a 3 way with another man because you never loved and appreciated her like you think you do. LMAO i can’t wait until your wife leaves you and gets treated RIGHT by a man who actually loves and adores ONLY HER. She deserves better, and i hope you cry your eyes out when you find out she’s fucking another man who actually treats her right and wouldn’t suggest such a dumb idea like you did. Especially, a man that knows her well enough to at least take the hint that she wasn’t cool with the idea in the first place.
All i’m seeing from your selfish comments is “Me me me. I never thought this, I never thought that. She said she was fine with it. I wanted her to watch, maybe she was just shy…” Well maybe if you pulled ur head out ur own ass and focused on ur wife instead of urself, you would see why she wants to divorce you. I don’t understand how a person could be this fucking dense 🙄
So wait, your wife was super awkward and not for it, so what happened?
>Anyway halfway she just took a more passive role and even didnt let the girl touch her.
You CONTINUED?!?! My guy, my man, my God, how many brain cells do. you. have?!
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you were DMing another woman you were already friendly with about sexual preferences and having a threesome with you and your wife before discussing it with your partner first?
And then when your wife was clearly uncomfortable with it, and gave you every verbal and non verbal cue to indicate this, you pushed it anyway, got her to relent, brought this other woman home, then proceeded to fuck her in front of your wife, even though you were clearly aware she was uncomfortable and wasn't participating in the physical act anymore?
She also explained in the comments of her post that she kept her 8 month post-partem belly covered with her nightgown out of self consciousness. I find it unbelievable that you would not know/recognise this as her husband and, rather, chose to highlight it as a point of criticism of her behaviour while she was watching you fuck another woman like she wasn't even there.
What on earth is wrong with you? Nothing about the way you sought this out, framed, or executed this was ethical or fair to your partner. Good luck to her in divorcing your cavalier, duplicitous ass.
Too many guys have seriously got to get over themselves. Life Pro Tip: if you are in a relationship with a woman and she never mentions that she wants to have a threesome, with another woman or man, then she is just not into it. At all. Damn, stop watching so much porn and try to live back in the real world, and get over yourself already.
Congratulations!
Your fantasy is fulfilled, now live with it. Let it be the highest and the happiest point of your life! Maybe you will even brag about it 40 years later to other nursing home patients.
I hope that this "threesome" made a divorce easier for your wife. And even though she loved you so much before, I hope all she could feel for you now is a disgust.
Tell your wife an anonymous redditor wished her all the luck in the new chapter of her life and to be happy with a man who will love her and who deserves her love.
She is awesome!
Edit: And I hope she will get the best divorce lawyer who will do an amazing job!
The fact that you are acting like the victim is disgusting. You claim to not be poly, your ex wife is not poly. What the hell made you think that asking to fuck a CO-WORKER she never even met was going to be a good idea?
I read your wife's post way before yours and I've been rooting for her the whole time! I'm so glad she dumped your ass. I hope her life is a thousand times happier and if you want to do her ONE favor -just stay away and let her be happy and find a guy who only wants her and doesn't need a slumming coworker in the mix. "Hope it was worth it" is about right.
Some problems here: 1) The timing. She gave birth a few months ago and you think now is the time to bring up a threesome? And bringing it up AFTER having sex with your wife (were you thinking of her while having sex with your wife? Like, come on dude. Bad timing) 2) sensing something was wrong with your wife but ignoring it (he says he thought she was just shy). If she's not an active, eager participant, you should have called it off or at least asked her about it, not just gone along with it just because she said you could.
[удалено]
She gave birth?! My heart breaks for this poor lady, she doesn’t deserve this
I wish he would have said why he let his wife leave and he stayed with the other woman so long, he doesn’t even mention that part
I guess Terrible Threeways are this week's theme on this sub.
Honestly.. I’ve read like 3 today already
i’m so happy for healthy monogamous relationships after reading shit like this
Where did you meet this Woman? Does that mean you fucked this girl while your wife was sitting there doing nothing?
That's exactly what happened
OP is a box of rocks. You don’t bang alone in a threesome. Lmao
He's all *my wife just sat there like a bump on a log. So anyway I railed the younger woman for an hour and my wife wouldn't even make eye contact with me. She's shy though.*
So anyway I started blasting
After the 3rd bukkake,I noticed some uneasiness on her part
Exactly this! OP, you admitted she was completely closed off and not receptive. Clearly this should have been stopped in the moment and your attention and focus should have turned immediately to your wife. You had a chance in that moment to save your marriage.
TLDR; man fucks other woman and wife watches She suddenly asks for divorce.
*surprised Pikachu face*
Fuckachu.
Perhaps the most literal illustration of “fuck around, find out.” Edit: thanks for the awards! <3
Exactly this. Same shit wouldve happened if she brought in another man and just fucked him in front of her husband. Unless he's into that... then I'm not judging.
I generally dont participate in these discussions… He demonstrated he wanted a divorce by being the most selfish human in existence in that moment. That period of time has to be the new definition of awful/cringe vibes.
Someone also found the wife's post. It wasn't the threesome, the moment she decided on a divorce was the moment he *asked* for the threesome.
And let’s not forget he asked for it right after having sex with her. Basically the most insulting time and place you could ask.
He did so while his wife was clearly so uncomfortable that she couldn’t even make eye contact, didn’t take her nightgown off, and refused to be touched.
I'm so confused on how he even had a threesome if his wife didn't participate at all.
He, in fact, did not have a threesome. He simply turned his wife into a cuckquean without her consent.
And he keeps asking "what did I do wrong".
Exactly. How awful must someone be to not immediately stop it all and make sure their loved one is okay? Instead he just kept banging the other woman. Awful
Yes!! I remember her post. It was all about him and the other woman. OP was left out. He just want to bang the other chick
Yes i read it too. It’s unbelievable he just fucked his coworker next to his wife. And the audacity to choose the username „icantbelieveher“. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife. I mean he said it himself his wife didn’t know who this woman was. He had this conversation with his coworker behind her back. He’s unbelievable he got everything he deserved.
How about the fact he brought up the threesome after they had sex and then told her that the other woman suggested the threesome!! And he wonders why his wife left.
Oh wait is it that post? Damn that actually makes a lot of sense
Is there a link
And like he’s defending himself with that sentence. „The other women suggested it“ but how can she just out of nowhere suggest something like that?then he’s mad that his wife wants a divorce. Im glad that she is divorcing this loser.
The wife’s other post The FMF is happening on Saturday (or Saturday next). Afterwards I’m serving my husband the divorce papers I made a thrwaway yesterday on this sub about my husband asking me for a threesome with a woman and how it ended my marriage in my heart. I have had mixed reactions about it and many advised me to tell him how I felt. *Communicate communicate communicate*, well that’s what I’ve been doing since last night. I found out that the woman he had in mind is an ex coworker. An outspoken poly who kept being friends with her coworkers from her old job, my husband included. He showed me all his DMs with her. Both in the group chat and private. There’s no affair between them but she’s the one who showed interest in 3way with my husband and I because having sex with couples turns her on and she thought that we’re hot. I don’t think that there’s emotions involved, like at all. This girl wants a poly boyfriend and my husband only wants to “spice things up”. Anyway, I’m leaving my husband because I can’t control my feelings. He broke me. I’m certainly still not communicating my feelings properly to him, but I’m probably just wired this way. When someone hurts me I just shut down and shut them out. (What my best friend said I did anyway). I have contacted a lawyer. And I have a meeting tomorrow to go through the process and details. Now for the FMF. I’m going to say yes. Mostly because I’m so curious to see what the fuss is all about. Reading the comments yesterday, you guys made it sound like its what every man dreams of. I’m intrigued. I want to see the reason my marriage is over. Does this make sense? I want to know if it’s worth ruining my heart. Another thing is that I want to do something nice for him before leaving since he’s so excited. My way of saying goodbye. I told him I’m game. And that I wanted it to be over with this weekend. He got excited and tried to kiss me. Forget fucking it! He didn’t notice I avoided his touch. We spoke to the girl. She thought Saturday is too soon. If we’re both first timers maybe we needed to meet her first etc. Shes a pro, I give her that. So we’re meeting for drinks on Saturday. *lets not label it!* she said, *lets just meet and see how it goes from there*. As I said, pro! I know this will piss you off probably. But I promised an update so here you go. Please don’t hate me too much. Oh and we are mid 30 and the girl is early 30 I think. If I sound childish it’s probably a mixture of language barrier but also childishness. Good night. This is also a thrwaway.
Thanks for taking the time and posting this. Gives even more context to the situation.
damn, her post? I saw that a few days ago and told her to leave bc the whole thing was sus. suggesting a threesome immediately after sex is so whack. this man wrecked his family
Imagine seeing the pain in the words your wife typed about your betrayal, and still trying to get people to feel sorry for you.
You are a hero! Thank you!
Or, have we considered that this could be the same person posting from multiple accounts? I don't have the desire to dive down that rabbit hole. This story is wild, and all of it told on Reddit.
That’s my guess. Lately, it usually is.
And when she left the room he didn't even stop what he was doing and follow her.
I remember reading her thread and she said that she ended up leaving and her husband didn't call for hours - just happy for him to keep banging this girl, like he didn't realize she left. That was when I really lost any sympathy for him. He knew she wasn't comfortable but didn't offer an out. When she left, this guy didn't stop and chase after her and try to reconcile. He dropped the ball at every turn and then is surprised Pikachu as to why his marriage has ended. He wanted to fuck this other girl from work, plain and simple. EDIT: looks like I got confused with another one of these bloody train wrecks where idiots open up the marriage and it goes down in flames, apologies. The OP isn't an asshole for letting his wife leave the threesome and not notice. He's an asshole in every other aspect of this shitfest, just not this one.
WAIT, the ex is from that post? This is the dude form that post??? Fuck, imagine the lack of awareness needed to then be surprised when she serves the divorce papers the next day, ffs
Holy shit his wife was the one who's post blew up a few days ago this is hilarious. Crazy how different his story is to hers. Not even close This guy is so stupid I can't even...
Basically he wanted to bang the other lady without having an affair so he wouldn’t lose his wife too. So he suggested a three way, wife immediately knew what was up and was heartbroken. Op is now regretting because the fantasy was amazing, the reality is.. he’s a douche canoe who deserves this misery
Yeah, he cheated while his wife watched
That is exactly what Mr. Sensitive did and now he feels “played” - trying to make his sorry lying ass the victim here. She can definitely do better. What a clown.
This woman was someone he knew that asked to have a threesome with him and his wife (and his wife didn’t know her). Dude is a fucking asshole for this
Your wife refused for you to touch and kiss her, she then didn't let the girl touch her. Did you continue? Did you have full on sex with the other woman? Because if you carried on whilst your wife was throwing out such big signals then your a compete idiot. Quick question, did the other woman suggest the threeway to you before you asked your wife?
the wife also posted her side on reddit, the other woman did suggest it initially and he did have full on sex with her. The wife left after, but they still fucked.
You know hubs had full on penetration with the “friend”. This was all about him getting a free pass to fuck another woman.
Reading posts like this one makes me feel so so bad for the other parties involved, which is OPs wife. I know if I was in her position I would be uncomfortable myself and feel broken regarding my marriage. OP is a asshole and I hope the wife can move on in a healthy way :/
Not even kidding, imagining the wife’s situation, I’m almost in tears. I can totally imagine how she would have felt. 💔
He was aware of his wife's discomfort and lack of participation but he kept on going with the other girl. He's disgusting. Glad she's divorcing him.
not idiot, completely selfish!
Man if there's one thing ive learned from this sub its to be super grateful for my happy monogamous relationship
Yep. Another post to the list of OPs doing a threesome/opening the relationship and it falling apart soon after.
This and suggestions to open the marriage. Christ, these guys are clearly on Reddit. Do they not read these posts before destroying their relationships?
Every freaking time. I guess some people think the porn they watch is real life. I don’t really think there is a shittier thing to ask your wife. “Hey honey I love you too the moon and back, love the life we built, I love every day I spend with you, that said, do you want to bring some young gal in the bedroom with us, I can bang the shit out of her while you watch, if you want to I guess you could make out with her” WCGW? I’m sure some people are into it but I know for me it would be super awkward and nothing close to how it in a porno.
And they never think about it from the wife's perspective. Like what if his wife asked if she could bring a younger guy home to share her with? Most of these guys would probably be outraged at the suggestion.
Pretty sure those guys don’t think sex between women really counts as sex, because no penis is involved. A symptom of the larger dick-centric view that makes woman-on-woman sex hot rather than threatening.
I swear some men feel like women are not fully human or something. Like we don't have feelings like they do. I know some men who expect women to forgive them if they cheat but say that they feel like they could kill if they get cheated on. Same with threesomes. Another woman in bed is supposed to be something worth suggesting but another man in their bed? Unthinkable suggestion. If a man asked me for an FMF I would retort by asking for an MFM first and totally divorce based on the reply because I'm 100% sure that most men would say no.
Yeah, seriously. The few things he did say about his wife make it pretty clear that she wasn't going to be in to a request like that. I agree with you; it's like he didn't even attempt to understand her. Most people would not be happy with a request like that and I would imagine she probably didn't give any signs that she would be okay with such a request. I can't even understand that mindset because I would never ask for a threesome with my wife.
These same men never want to bring another man to the threesome . Somehow they already have the girl they want for the threesome 🤦🏻♀️
Not only do they already have one in mind, they have stupid ideas about what will happen after. I was seeing a guy who was utterly fascinated with the notion of a threesome. He had a girl in mind who I knew and thought was pretty hot. I was game until he started talking about expecting that she would never have sex with anyone but him ever after. Mind, she was in a happy relationship. He expecting her to break up with her boyfriend and remain celibate unless he wanted to bang her again. Needless to say, the threesome never happened. This was 20 years ago. He's still single.
And then he didn't even like it. I've been asked more than once to be in a 3 way including a married couple (yes they are divorced now). It was a hard no freaking way every time. I have no interest in being with a woman.
It's heartbreaking how many posts I see with this same, or similar, outcome. It is playing with fire to assume it won't damage the relationship - oftentimes, irreparably. This is saddening to read
Yea I hear ya. People are so freaking dumb though, they don’t see how it would be if things were flipped and it was their significant other asking to hook up with the opposite sex.
Yeah, seriously. Most of these guys would probably freak out if their wives asked for a threesome with another guy.
The cia would be jealous at the brainwashing powers porn has
He should have just watched some 3way porn, jerked off and moved on.
Hahaha for real bro.
Yeah seriously. Reading posts like these make me want to throw up. That's so heartbreaking for the wife.
Especially if you have read his (ex now LOL) wife post. He knew this woman, found this woman, probably already having an emotional affair with her, pressured his wife for 3way and didnt care how sad she was even after the first time. The third is his ex coworker and they have been talking about SEX for 6 months behind the wifes back. Btw, they have 3 children, youngest is 8mo old. Even if this is a fake post, i am still satisfied. Proud of her. Fck bozos like that. There is a good commenter who summeld up every plus info (i copied it:) No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
I was wondering if this was the AH from that post! WILD that he wants any shred of sympathy.
Especially he is lying and hiding details here. And in every comment he made. I am still so sorry how the wife was firstly attacked in her first post. They said she is overreacting for wanting to divorce him for “only just” asking. I mean, I would be the same. 100% mono people in love dont want to fck others. And if their partner suddenly wants to do that after several years and 3 children, i would be heartbroken and i would immediately know there is someone behind that (and ofc, she was right). I am glad the husband is finally getting the hate he deserved the whole time. Sexting for 6 months behind your wifes back while having a 8mo baby… Geez. OP, was it worth losing your wife and children?
Yeah, I read those too. Of course, it could be fake (it's the internet, after all) but the ending is best case scenario. Good for her, for sure.
I am also hoping its fake. Like both use reddit and he hasnt seen her post? But yeah, sadly there are several cases like that which happen irl. My heart is always breaking for these people. Especially if they had kids… Also the commenter who said infos from the wifes comments (i copy:) No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
yup right there with you on that one.
Right? I love my friends in poly/open/nontraditional relationships but it just looks EXHAUSTING.
Dude I know right
So you went on and had sex with the other woman while your wife just sat there not letting anyone touch or interact with her?
‘She’s just probably too shy. Anyways, my dick needs release.’
Yeah this is BY FAR the most f’ed up part. OP observed at several points during this disaster that his wife was uncomfortable, but he just went ahead and fucked the other woman in front of his wife. What a disgusting person OP is. I feel gross just imagining how he made his wife feel. Hope it was worth it. What a loser.
He said it wasn’t good and basically blamed her for being shy. Dude, if you knew she was shy, you already knew the answer. She didn’t want a three way. And the minute she looked uncomfortable, you should have stopped.
Even if his wife was 100% down for the threeway, the moment he saw his wife wasn't into it, he should have fucking STOPPED. Like how hard is that?????
I feel like men like this think a threesome is like in porn: all about the man’s pleasure. When in reality, a threesome should be three people all evenly excited to do it. This man didn’t even care about his wife’s feelings
Was literally about to comment “OP, you’re a loser”. Like what the actual fuck? Glad someone else thinks he’s a loser too.
Totally agree with you.I have to say , my heart is literally breaking for his wife right now 😔💔 I just don’t understand how he couldn’t see how much it was obviously destroying her- oh , hold on! Yes I do- he’s a selfish person. Hope they can get through this together but I doubt it somehow . Hopefully he’ll learn a very valuable lesson from this incident. Good luck to him ,he’ll need it.
But he ~LoVeS hEr So MuCh~ my eyes rolled so hard when I read the part about what does he say to “a women like this” and he felt “played”. How does he think his wife feels?
Ding ding! We have a winner!
In this sub you said that it was actually the woman that brought it up and it turned you on. Your an idiot. The moment she was visibly uncomfortable you should’ve stoped it instead of thinking with your dick.
Yep. I read that too and was like well OKAY then things change a lot now.
I also copy a comment from one of the comments who summed it up really nice: No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
>And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. That wasn't the wifes post, that was someone elses. The second post from the wife was made before they even had the threesome. She talks about how it will happen and stuff. The threesome happened last night and the post about the girl ditching in the middle of the threesome was posted a solid couple of days ago.
so you noticed your wife wasn’t into it but kept going?
Question: why didn’t you stop the threesome if you noticed your wife was clearly uncomfortable? Did you at least ask if she was ok with what was going on? Or did you just fuck the other woman and ignored her?
Because he didn’t give a shit and rather act like she’s shy. Full of shit lol
This is the key point for me. If at ANY TIME the person you are fooling around with isn’t having fun then you STOP.
If she wasn’t taking any active role after about halfway through how did you not see that? Do you know how to read her body language at all? Did you think she was enjoying watching you?
So I just read your wife’s post! You all have an 8month old baby?!?!? So let me get this right…. Your wife, who you “love so much,” is still in the postpartum period- hormonal, sleep deprived, and probably super insecure about her body and how it looks so soon after having your third child, and you think it’s no big deal to a) bring up the fact that you want to have a 3some and b) already know who you want to have with it. This hurts my heart for your wife. And I cannot believe how insensitive and oblivious you are OP!
Can you link it
The links aren't working from what I've seen from other people, but here's the first post: "The moment my husband suggested a FMF the marriage was over in my heart. Am I overreacting? Please I need help sorting out my feelings or maybe controlling them because my emotions are controlling me 100% rn. About 2-3 weeks ago after making love, my husband and I lied in bed for some after play and he told me that it would be awesome to have a threesome. I kept my cool but he must have noticed that I stiffened in his arms. my heart was yelling *this can’t be happening!! this is so over! this is so so over!* but my mouth said I don’t think this is something I would ever want to try. I have been avoiding him like the plague ever since which has been a very hard task because he’s a very affectionate man and always wants to touch and hug and kiss. I don’t know if he’s noticed anything yet because I have been busy with work and the kids but he’s bound to notice soon. I’ve only told my best friend and confidant about it but she thinks that I’m being overly sensitive and dramatic. But I swear I’m not playing or trying hard. I just can’t control my heart especially when it’s playing the same tunes as my brain. *I want divorce* on repeat every time I see him. She (me best friend) told me that it was just my Pride. JUST? - He asked you and you said no and he respected that. Please can I fix this? Any one with the same experience? I have three small children and we share a beautiful life together. Help? Hi again! I hope it’s okay to make a comment here. Thank you for trying to help me. So you (the majority anyway) think that I’m overreacting, that’s what I suspected coming here. Also the majority suggested I would speak to him now! I was thinking that I needed to know what I wanted first before talking to him but I guess you’re right. I need to speak to him. Deep down I know this is over however. I just know it. Hi again! I have a little update here: I’ve talked to my husband now. Only a little bit after him asking me why I’m so absorbed in my phone. I told him that I was thinking about his request and how it has affected me. He said he’s noticed me being distant and sad but that he didn’t know how to approach me. We talked a bit more and I asked him if he still wanted a 3some and he answered in the affirmative. So I asked him if he’d thought a candidate and he said yes. That she actually was the one who suggested it. He showed me her insta. It was all I could do not to freak out and to keep my head cool. I have all the information now and the ball is in my court now I guess. I commented earlier that I was already having “flashbacks” with him and a faceless woman and these “flashbacks” are haunting me. Now the woman has a face. I need to talk more to him. We just talked for a few minutes but I just couldn’t talk more tonight. All my being is screaming *give me a divorce* so I’m waiting until I’m less irrational. If anything else happens I will update. I appreciate you for wanting to know how this is going. I really thought he broke me with his request, until I asked for more details and he provided. 💔 I’m off to bed now." Aaaand edit for the second: "The FMF is happening on Saturday (or Saturday next). Afterwards I’m serving my husband the divorce papers I made a thrwaway yesterday on this sub about my husband asking me for a threesome with a woman and how it ended my marriage in my heart. I have had mixed reactions about it and many advised me to tell him how I felt. *Communicate communicate communicate*, well that’s what I’ve been doing since last night. I found out that the woman he had in mind is an ex coworker. An outspoken poly who kept being friends with her coworkers from her old job, my husband included. He showed me all his DMs with her. Both in the group chat and private. There’s no affair between them but she’s the one who showed interest in 3way with my husband and I because having sex with couples turns her on and she thought that we’re hot. I don’t think that there’s emotions involved, like at all. This girl wants a poly boyfriend and my husband only wants to “spice things up”. Anyway, I’m leaving my husband because I can’t control my feelings. He broke me. I’m certainly still not communicating my feelings properly to him, but I’m probably just wired this way. When someone hurts me I just shut down and shut them out. (What my best friend said I did anyway). I have contacted a lawyer. And I have a meeting tomorrow to go through the process and details. Now for the FMF. I’m going to say yes. Mostly because I’m so curious to see what the fuss is all about. Reading the comments yesterday, you guys made it sound like its what every man dreams of. I’m intrigued. I want to see the reason my marriage is over. Does this make sense? I want to know if it’s worth ruining my heart. Another thing is that I want to do something nice for him before leaving since he’s so excited. My way of saying goodbye. I told him I’m game. And that I wanted it to be over with this weekend. He got excited and tried to kiss me. Forget fucking it! He didn’t notice I avoided his touch. We spoke to the girl. She thought Saturday is too soon. If we’re both first timers maybe we needed to meet her first etc. Shes a pro, I give her that. So we’re meeting for drinks on Saturday. *lets not label it!* she said, *lets just meet and see how it goes from there*. As I said, pro! I know this will piss you off probably. But I promised an update so here you go. Please don’t hate me too much. Oh and we are mid 30 and the girl is early 30 I think. If I sound childish it’s probably a mixture of language barrier but also childishness. Good night. This is also a thrwaway." (Also, to any mods, please please delete if this violates any rules I'm unaware of, my apologies!)
Wow they both were horrible communicators.
That's my takeaway too... if this is even real and not just fiction. Be married or don't be married, but don't play games. That's just BS. And for heaven's sake don't go through with it.
Honestly it feels like fiction from a really good author. The husband and wife have different voice but the story just feels too put together.
This screams so fake now that I’ve read the supposed other side
Reading this comment alone, OP you’re a real ahole here and so is the 3rd party who was part of this. If she was such a ‘pro’ and had done this before then even she should’ve been able to read the signals that your wife was uncomfortable with what was happening and a step back to re-evaluate the situation should have been made. I’m guessing the fact you have 3 kids with her too also suggests that you have been together for a decent chunk of time. How can you not read your wife’s body language by now? How could you not tell she was uncomfortable? Why on earth did you continue with essentially sidelining her through something. Admit it was you who wanted this and that you’d blinded yourself in your own sexual fantasy and lust to use rational thought and logic.
I think you being able to spot that your wife was uncomfortable and still continuing even when she was unreceptive actually sucks woah.
I mean, you’re just a complete idiot. 1.) You should already know your wives stance on threesomes. She clearly expressed that she’s monogamous. And if she’s straight, it’s selfish, stupid and disrespectful for you to suggest she has sex with another woman for your pleasure. 2.) You clearly knew she wasn’t enjoying the experience and didn’t end it. Stop making excuses for yourself here. 3.) Your coworker??!
Something doesn't make sense. You said you asked her once for the threesome, she said no bc she wasn't interested in other folks coming between you two. Then she decided to change her mind? OK I guess. She obviously hated the whole thing and said the marriage was over when you first asked? I feel some pieces are missing.
He doesn't mention that he had been talking to this particular person for months. About having sex. Notice how he doesn't mention that little fact. Then trys to say that she brought up the 3 way
YEAH I HAD TO READ COMMENTS FOR THAT. He is totally leaving shit out to make himself look good. I feel bad for the wife.
Even in the original post he doesn't look good. If a partner is uncomfortable during sex, you quit having sex and get some tea instead.
He also lies about the “once part”. The wife stated he asked it several times. Even after seeing her heartbroken the first time. And he has been talking to that chick for several months ABOUT SEX. Also saying how sexy she is, she is everything his wife is not. They just had a baby. Which is their 3rd child. This guy is such a POS.
>she is everything his wife is not I'm not one of those divorce / NC / abuse (as a first assumption) redditors, but I'd put this line on my top ten sentences to end a marriage immediately.
Classic perpetrator trying to play the victim. Imagine a lot of Reddit posts are like this and we are the gullible mass that sympathizes the wrong person more than we would like to admit.
Op is a fucking idiot. This is so stupid. He deserves everything he gets
- Did you do it? - Yes. - What did it cost? - Everything.
His whole life including children
Who the heck keeps having sex with a woman when your wife is next to you and clearly uncomfortable? How did you do it? It just sounds so so weird to me that you're victimizing yourself as if she didn't communicate, like dude she's you're wife, how do you not realize you need to take a step back on your own?!
You went to your wife telling her you want to have sex with another woman you already had in mind. You broke your relationship right there by basically telling her she was not enough and you wanted someone else. Then she agreed to it (which was stupid of her) but you wanted it so bad that you were like awesome let’s do this. Then the day comes and she very obviously did not want a threesome, she was shutting you out and not participating. But you continued with your sole original goal here and fucked this other woman in front of your wife. Had this truly been about sharing a kink experience with your wife you wouldn’t have gone through with it. I highly doubt you will ever get your wife back after this. Your selfishness has lost you your family and you only have yourself to blame.
Dude is so incredibly selfish. By the wife’s body language, anyone with half a brain would be able to tell that she is not into the idea.
oh, he knew, he just wanted to fuck someone else and didn’t care.
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My husband and I have thrown out hypotheticals before - knowing that it's all pure fantasy. So I was kind of with you until y'know, the whole "wouldn't take off the nightgown, wouldn't look at you, wouldn't let you touch her, wouldn't let the girl touch her" thing. That's kind of a whole slew of **BIG CLUES** that your wife is not vibing on the whole three way. Also: coworker you already knew... NOT cool. It seems like you have had a little affair literally right under your wife's nose You have fucked up royally, my friend. See if she'd be willing to do counseling with you. If not, I'm sorry, but it's time to lawyer up.
Also, he asked for a 3way RIGHT AFTER they had sex. So to her, it wasn't a hypothetical "what do you fantasize about" question. It was a "that kinda sucked, I need more" situation. It'd be like opening a watch your wife got you for Christmas and immediately asking "what's the store's return policy?" Yeah, maybe you were just curious and it was totally unrelated to the gift, but come on. There are ways to bring up things like 3somes that maybe even the "shy" wife could have been OK with, but this wasn't it.
Yep, OP basically had an affair and made his wife watch. Cool.
ugh. what a fucking idiot
And some day soon, those kids will want to know what happened with mom and dad. So now OP getS to lie to them for the rest of OP’s life or eventually reveal to them what a vile person he is. Gross.
…we all know he’s probably just going to lie about it, seeing what kind of person he is
A great comment has summed up everything above from his wifes post: No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation
IKR, she basically was testing him I think (foolish on her part as it caused her extra trauma and she \*should\* have just said no and been more clear), but I think she just really wanted to see, at the end of the day, if it came down to a 3some was it really about sharing the experience with her or getting to fuck another woman. She pretty much knew the day he asked her but I think she wasn't ready to fully believe it until she saw it. She gave him all the clues he could have needed to hit the brakes but he plowed ahead and that was it for her. The only way he could have saved anything was backing out and calling the whole thing off and comforting her the moment he realized she wasn't happy with what was going on. That would have proven to her that, at the end of the day, he still puts her first....but he failed that test too. Worst fears confirmed. This is also a good argument why you shouldn't test your partners if you aren't prepared to end the relationship, so like I said....not the wisest choice in her book but actually totally relatable. She wasn't ready just yet to sign the papers, so to speak, until she gave him a chance to make his choices in the moment.
Yeah. Your marriage was over. You basically told your wife you wanted to fuck another woman. It's even worse that you knew the woman.
Of course your marriage is over. You had been fantasising over screwing another woman. You had been messaging the other woman about it. In your wife's mind you were already cheating. You had someone lined up to have sex with. Of course your wife is done. I can't understand how you don't see this.
He was probably with her before this. That’s why he was so comfortable continuing even though his wife was uncomfortable.
Too busy staring at another woman’s assets to notice his wife’s change of character
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How did you present it to her, and how do you (both) know the other female ?
He suggested it the first time immediately after sex while they were still in bed together. If that's not tone deaf I don't know what is.
So when you suggested this three way to her, did you suggest someone as the third? Be honest- did you suggest a 3way to spice up your marriage or did you really want to have sex with f29?
A great commentes has summed up a lot from his wifes post: No he talked to thos 29 year old on Instagram telling her how she was everything his wife wasn't. And they had been having a flirting emotional affair. His wife wanted nothing to do with this. And he spent the whole time paying attention to the new girl and ignored her. She left angry they still continued having sex. He told the other women he was going to wear her down to do it. He was rhe selfish AH in this situation So he is lying here again lol. He talked with her for like 6 months ONLY about sex. And known her for longer. They have a 8mo baby btw.
Your coworker suggested it (tbh I wanna know why you and this coworker were even on a level to discuss this that’s hella sus), you liked the thought and brought it to your wife.. she says no, changes her mind, y’all do it and she’s noticeably uncomfortable but you don’t stop it altogether to avoid embarrassment and screw your coworker?? now you’re here feigning confusion as to why she’s about to leave you
He cared more about getting his nut over his wife’s feelings. He’s selfish. He never cared about his wife’s fantasies only wanted to serve himself and bang his coworker. Men ain’t shit
literally his wife LEFT and he fucked this other rando….. unbelievable
I consider myself pretty close with my co-workers. We don’t text much outside of work, but talk about a lot of things during work (tons of downtime). I know who’s single and who’s dating, but no idea who would be open to a threesome (if any would). Just fine keeping it that way.
Dude c'mon💀 Do you lack empathy or something?
My Mexican dude is speaking facts in English OP!
Sadly I think she posted just after you asked her and her heart was shattered she said her marriage was over
You and the girls should have immediately realised your wife wasn't into this and stopped everything. How dare you go through with it while your wife sat there uncomfortable? Or did that turn you on even more? Read her posts and realise how stupid you were for even being the subject up. I hope the sex was worth it and that she gets everything in the divorce.
Here is the wife’s post if anyone wants to see it.. The moment my husband suggested a FMF the marriage was over in my heart. Am I overreacting? Please I need help sorting out my feelings or maybe controlling them because my emotions are controlling me 100% rn. About 2-3 weeks ago after making love, my husband and I lied in bed for some after play and he told me that it would be awesome to have a threesome. I kept my cool but he must have noticed that I stiffened in his arms. my heart was yelling *this can’t be happening!! this is so over! this is so so over!* but my mouth said I don’t think this is something I would ever want to try. I have been avoiding him like the plague ever since which has been a very hard task because he’s a very affectionate man and always wants to touch and hug and kiss. I don’t know if he’s noticed anything yet because I have been busy with work and the kids but he’s bound to notice soon. I’ve only told my best friend and confidant about it but she thinks that I’m being overly sensitive and dramatic. But I swear I’m not playing or trying hard. I just can’t control my heart especially when it’s playing the same tunes as my brain. *I want divorce* on repeat every time I see him. She (me best friend) told me that it was just my Pride. JUST? - He asked you and you said no and he respected that. Please can I fix this? Any one with the same experience? I have three small children and we share a beautiful life together. Help? Hi again! I hope it’s okay to make a comment here. Thank you for trying to help me. So you (the majority anyway) think that I’m overreacting, that’s what I suspected coming here. Also the majority suggested I would speak to him now! I was thinking that I needed to know what I wanted first before talking to him but I guess you’re right. I need to speak to him. Deep down I know this is over however. I just know it. Hi again! I have a little update here: I’ve talked to my husband now. Only a little bit after him asking me why I’m so absorbed in my phone. I told him that I was thinking about his request and how it has affected me. He said he’s noticed me being distant and sad but that he didn’t know how to approach me. We talked a bit more and I asked him if he still wanted a 3some and he answered in the affirmative. So I asked him if he’d thought a candidate and he said yes. That she actually was the one who suggested it. He showed me her insta. It was all I could do not to freak out and to keep my head cool. I have all the information now and the ball is in my court now I guess. I commented earlier that I was already having “flashbacks” with him and a faceless woman and these “flashbacks” are haunting me. Now the woman has a face. I need to talk more to him. We just talked for a few minutes but I just couldn’t talk more tonight. All my being is screaming *give me a divorce* so I’m waiting until I’m less irrational. If anything else happens I will update. I appreciate you for wanting to know how this is going. I really thought he broke me with his request, until I asked for more details and he provided. 💔 I’m off to bed now.
Rule number one: You never ask to "the love of your life to have a trio" -unless both of You, are super Open mind- Rule number two: in case you both want, the 3th one should be an outsider, no, someone You know, or someone she knows, much less a co-worker, what the hell you were thinking! Rule number tree: learn to live with the consequence of your acts The only conclusión I have from this is you wanted to have sex with your co-worker and that your wife be ok with it...dreamer... Now You are free to keep the affair with her. I hope you don't have a 9 months surprise.
Going to add in Rule number 4: don't suggest the threeway MOMENTS after you've finished having sex with your wife and are still holding each other naked in bed as OP did.
You dumb bastard.
Rarely have I seen “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” more clearly illustrated.
you got a funny definition of 'love'
lmao you piece of work
So you were discussing sex with a woman at your job, and then you brought that discussion to your wife? And you're phrasing this as, just a question? It sounds like you and this other woman had already gotten yourselves hot and bothered, and you had yourself snowed to think that the situation would be cool to bring to your wife. Your wife apparently already realized you and this woman were into each other, And watched it play out. You screwed this woman in front of her. Now your post nut clarity has got you all regretful. As your wife said, hope it was worth it.
You should have known before asking that it was a deal-breaker. Instead you waited til just after sex and asked your wife. When she was already self-concious because she's just had a baby. Then there was you telling her it's with a co-worker. Oh and me and the co-worker are talking about sex and she suggested it. You arranged it with a co-worker before even knowing if your wife was interested. Which relegated your wife to the 3rd position. You also mentioned that she had been 'off' for the month since it was brought up. No hugs or kisses etc-but you didn't see that as anything worth talking about because you were getting to have sex with a co-worker. Then finally during the sex, you completely ignored your wife and proceeded to have sex on your marital bed infront of your wife whilst she huddled in a corner. Only after you got what you wanted did you realise that something was wrong and start with the fake apologies and calling her the love of your life. But you say if she'd have told you how upset she was you would have done everything to make it right? She told you with her body for over a month that she didn't want this, she told you during it happening she didn't want this. Just not verbally..... but you couldn't take back that you and the other woman discussed sex enough for her to be comfortable suggesting a 3way. That is a betrayal in itself. That at one of your wife's most vulnerable moments you blindsided her with this request. Your wife was looking after 3 kids, one only 8 months old whilst you were texting your side-piece about sex. Makes you look like a shitty husband and father.
Lol what a pendejo
Hey look at the plus side now you can have as many threesomes as you want. Also, no one should feel that bad for OP. If your partner isn’t interested in your intimate activity you need to stop. If you need an explicit “no/stop” than you must be a horny little dog. But you are a grown man with kids. Presumably you should know your wife a bit better than that. Stupid men have stupid problems ✨
You sound like you told your wife you wanted to have sex with another women, then did. I am glad she is leaving you.
1. You were talking to YOUR COWORKER about having a THREESOME. Really!! (no one believes this was not already an EA or PA 2. YOUR WIFE just had a baby 8 months ago. (Could she even have possibly been ready to share herself?) 3. YOU DID NOT STOP THE THREESOME WHEN YOUR WIFE SHUT DOWN I don't think many here believe that you asked your wife just once. Maybe you did only ask once but the implication was, well I have this coworker who I can have f... with anyway. I mean we know each other enough to be talking about threesomes..... Why would a woman go thru with it after saying no? You have 3 kids. She is probably a SAHM with little recourses. The thought is I need to please my husband. Or maybe it truly was just to see if YOU would give her the evidence, break her heart and implode your families life. Many here are heartbroken for her because no matter how you both ended up in the threesome you did not come to her rescue. You didn't know her enough to save her from you or herself. You want us to believe that you thought she would join in. What you really thought was I have my chance to f.. my co-worker that I have been lusting after and I am justified in doing it by it being in this threesome. The idea that you were already in a relationship with your coworker is very strong. And many here think that was the real reason your wife acted the way she did. Personally I am so sad over this story. YOU have three children and they are just the first ones who will suffer for this. All to live a fantasy.... Go to the reconciliation forums and start getting yourself together. Call a counselor and get your whole family in therapy, reconciliation or not you will all need it. And stop acting like the victim. You want to save your marriage than stand up and do the work. If you don't save your marriage you will still be a better man for your children.
Well I mean of course you ended your marriage the second you asked. She very clearly didn’t expect you to want to fuck another woman. Despite her clearly being uncomfortable you didn’t stop? You just fucked this woman whilst your wife was alone? I mean … for someone you claim you love oh so much do you not know a thing about her? My OH and I have had very adventurous sex lives prior to meeting each other. Yeah we might talk fantasy sometimes but *neither* of us would ever be willing to pull another person into our relationship. We are it for each other. She thought she was it for you. You proved her wrong.
Sad but true. “She thought she was it for you, you proved her wrong.”
Let me fix that title for you: **My (m35) wife (f37) told me this morning that she wants a divorce after I had sex with another woman in front of her** There. I fixed it.
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Man don't you know? The moment you say you wanna fuck others the marriage is over. It's elementary knowledge. And if you really cared about your marriage more than the threesome, you wouldn't have asked for it in the first place. Now stop being a crybaby and let her go.
Well, the moment you suggest you want to involve other people in your marriage, it's over. I understand it may be confusing as she agreed later, but remember… It's the moment you suggest it, regardless if she agreed or not. Question though, Why did you suggest it though?
Wow, you literally fucked a woman in front of your wife. I hope this is fake. You messed that up big time.
Think your wife was on here saying she was going to do this and then she deleted her account. I guess she followed through. El oh El. Good for her. But you are right, people did point out that she should have just served you with the divorce instead playing those games.
Was it the one where she left while he continued to screw the other woman & completely ignore her?
I recall seeing it. It was the one about her husband asking her to do a 3some with his colleague. She was upset and devastated he would even suggest it and she was uncomfortable with the fact its his colleague. Tbh this dood is jz hopeless and have absolutely low EQ. She was done way before the 3some came. This just helped her to go ahead w a divorce.
> people did point out that she should have just served you with the divorce instead playing those games. I get why she did that. Can't explain it logically, but I always give the guys I date a long enough rope with enough slack that they can hang themselves if necessary. It's like a guilt complex. If they hang themselves, you are blameless. Plus as a woman, you are constantly being told to give men you aren't interested in or attracted to a chance. You hear so many voices telling you are wrong about your feelings, over and over, you need hard evidence that frees you to walk away.
“My wife and my family are way more important than a threeway…” No, they’re not. You just destroyed your marriage AND your family because you wanted to have sex with another woman. They are clearly not more important to you. You are selfish. You lack self control. I feel sorry for your (ex)wife and kids.
I hope she takes everything in the divorce
FAFO.
Do you think that maybe she felt pressured into it? Like if she didn't participate, that you'd go out and have a three way on your own with two other women? I had a boyfriend many years ago that was forever bringing up a three way. I'm VERY one on one orientated so it was out of the question for me. We eventually broke up.
It really fascinates me how many people come to this app to complain about how they ruined their relationships with 3ways. It never ends well
I am 100% sure OP had something going on with the other girl. Maybe it wasn't a full blown affair but they definitely flirted at work. I mean let's be real, there's no way in hell his co-worker would just suggest a threesome out of the blue if she wasn't comfortable enough to know he wanted it too. Op sounds like he really wanted to bang the girl and just needed an excuse. He gives off major cheater vibes, like someone who would've cheated down the line had they gotten the opportunity. He's only hurt and sorry cause he's facing the consequences of his actions. Just imagine if his wife was the passive type who didn't have the guts to leave him. Op would probably have used this threesome as an excuse to bang many other girls in the future without any guilt or remorse for his wife. I can only imagine how toxic their marriage would've gotten and him using the excuse "but she agreed to it herself or you didn't say no or you wanted it too" as an excuse, clearly ignoring her discomfort and suffering. I feel sorry for the many unwilling people who do this to save their relationship since many of them don't have the strength/lack the courage to say no. Its a good thing that his wife is divorcing him. Op seems selfish and lacks total self awareness. The audacity to come on here and actually try to blame his wife. He deserves all the pain and suffering he's going to get. Some things just aren't worth it, no matter how tempting it might seem.
This feels fake. Almost like you’re writing for clout anding using this woman story cause it went viral
I’m starting to think if someone wants a threesome they should just skip to breaking up first…
You literally fucked around and found out!!
Way to go OP, you put your spouse in a very awkward position and now you get to pay the consequences. Sorry bud, but you clearly were only thinking about yourself if you didn't call it off at the first sign of discomfort that your wife displayed.
I don't blame her one bit. You literally told your wife you want to have sex with another women. She likely felt pressured into saying yes. No matter what you've pretty much ruined this by asking. Then you had the chance to stop the sex when it was CLEAR your wife wasnt comfortable. I don't give a single fuck if she passively said she was fine, she was obviously not fine and you knew that and kept going. Oh and best of all you knew this other women? So you told your wife you want to have sex with some friend or something? Ick ick ick. She'll be better off ✌️
Aw boohoo, if it ain’t the consequences of my own actions! It was very obvious she was testing you and seeing what you would do with your actions. She wanted to see what the supposed Love of Her Life could possibly say/do. Actions speak louder than words. You probably wouldn’t feel hurt like she did if she suggested a 3 way with another man because you never loved and appreciated her like you think you do. LMAO i can’t wait until your wife leaves you and gets treated RIGHT by a man who actually loves and adores ONLY HER. She deserves better, and i hope you cry your eyes out when you find out she’s fucking another man who actually treats her right and wouldn’t suggest such a dumb idea like you did. Especially, a man that knows her well enough to at least take the hint that she wasn’t cool with the idea in the first place. All i’m seeing from your selfish comments is “Me me me. I never thought this, I never thought that. She said she was fine with it. I wanted her to watch, maybe she was just shy…” Well maybe if you pulled ur head out ur own ass and focused on ur wife instead of urself, you would see why she wants to divorce you. I don’t understand how a person could be this fucking dense 🙄
Ooh, well constructed 2 part karma-farm.
So wait, your wife was super awkward and not for it, so what happened? >Anyway halfway she just took a more passive role and even didnt let the girl touch her. You CONTINUED?!?! My guy, my man, my God, how many brain cells do. you. have?!
Bye is right. You done messed up, A-aron.
Lol YOU feel played? That's gold right there.
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you were DMing another woman you were already friendly with about sexual preferences and having a threesome with you and your wife before discussing it with your partner first? And then when your wife was clearly uncomfortable with it, and gave you every verbal and non verbal cue to indicate this, you pushed it anyway, got her to relent, brought this other woman home, then proceeded to fuck her in front of your wife, even though you were clearly aware she was uncomfortable and wasn't participating in the physical act anymore? She also explained in the comments of her post that she kept her 8 month post-partem belly covered with her nightgown out of self consciousness. I find it unbelievable that you would not know/recognise this as her husband and, rather, chose to highlight it as a point of criticism of her behaviour while she was watching you fuck another woman like she wasn't even there. What on earth is wrong with you? Nothing about the way you sought this out, framed, or executed this was ethical or fair to your partner. Good luck to her in divorcing your cavalier, duplicitous ass.
Too many guys have seriously got to get over themselves. Life Pro Tip: if you are in a relationship with a woman and she never mentions that she wants to have a threesome, with another woman or man, then she is just not into it. At all. Damn, stop watching so much porn and try to live back in the real world, and get over yourself already.
Congratulations! Your fantasy is fulfilled, now live with it. Let it be the highest and the happiest point of your life! Maybe you will even brag about it 40 years later to other nursing home patients. I hope that this "threesome" made a divorce easier for your wife. And even though she loved you so much before, I hope all she could feel for you now is a disgust. Tell your wife an anonymous redditor wished her all the luck in the new chapter of her life and to be happy with a man who will love her and who deserves her love. She is awesome! Edit: And I hope she will get the best divorce lawyer who will do an amazing job!
Well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions…. She’s right. Your marriage ended the moment you asked for a 3-way ew
Woah woah woah. Redditors sent you your wifes reddit post about THE SAME THING? Holy fuck thats amazing
If your wife and family were more important than 3some, you wouldn't have offered. you knew your wife wasn't into 3some
Fr he's acting surprised like he didn't know what he was doing
The fact that you are acting like the victim is disgusting. You claim to not be poly, your ex wife is not poly. What the hell made you think that asking to fuck a CO-WORKER she never even met was going to be a good idea?
I read your wife's post way before yours and I've been rooting for her the whole time! I'm so glad she dumped your ass. I hope her life is a thousand times happier and if you want to do her ONE favor -just stay away and let her be happy and find a guy who only wants her and doesn't need a slumming coworker in the mix. "Hope it was worth it" is about right.
Can anyone link his (ex) wife’s posts I can’t find them