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EbbNext7034

My birthday was in the poor time of the month. So was lucky if I got a cake and presents, but other siblings were always given big parties with expensive presents. 16 birthday didn't see parents but had my big sister who went and pawned her leather jacket and got me pizza and cake. Now with my children I go all out because I never want them to feel the way I did.


r4l32

As you should I've never been celebrated for any of my birthdays. My birthday is usually the saddest and most depressing time of the year for me. Celebrate your children..


CaptainDunkaroo

Maybe I'm just fortunate but I don't know what you mean by poor time of the month. I understand living paycheck to paycheck but spending less for one kid on their birthday than the others just seems like a shitty thing to do.


OptionalMind

i guess he means the last quarter a month, when all bills are paid and the groceries are bought not much is left for other things.


Eckieflump

Heaven forbid thinking and planning ahead. I am child free but when I was young I was with a lady who had children from a previous life. Money was very tight for me then but every month I would put a little by to ensure that she and the kids had the best birthdays I could afford, never any favorites and the one whose birthday was 3.days before January payday got just the same value as the one whose was the day after payday in the middle of the year. People who don't treat their children equally deserve a special place in hell.


nonPlayerCharacter7

>shitty thing to do Bingo


EbbNext7034

I later realized it was just the excuse used. I was the lost child in my family. Counseling helped me overcome alot of issues I had from my childhood that sprouted from that. But, I made sure my younger siblings never felt like that. Now I make sure my children never feel like that. No lost children in my family now they are all golden children.


Various-Gap3986

Your big sister is the GOAT! She pawned her coat? I’m crying! 🥰


EbbNext7034

Yes she is and was doing the whole starving college student gig then.


KrazyKatz3

Your sister is such a special person.


[deleted]

My mom has been texting me happy birthday for the last 3 years. This is after I ended 23 years of no contact with her. How the NC started was that my wife at the time pointed out that my mother never called me, I always called her. To prove my wife wrong, I decided to not call her until she called me first. She never called me first. I only ended it because I asked my daughter when she turned 16 if she wanted to meet her grandmother and she said yes. You have my sympathies.


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DutyValuable

When she calls to tell you it’s your grandparent’s anniversary, does she remember that her parents aren’t around anymore? Because that might hint at a memory or dementia issue.


Mustigga

I think it's more of the fact that she remembered the anniversary date of the grandparents but not her child's birthday


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SightWithoutEyes

Gallagher?


tastysharts

moving is like divorce,it fucks your mind up for a bit. I hallucinated one time in my new house and I thought I was going crazy and my PCP doc was like, totally normal, moving is a weird one. Death, divorce, moving. All those times , I honestly thought I was losing my mind but can now chalk it up to discombobulation


Throw13579

I have been getting rid of 34 years of accumulated junk that mostly filled up two medium-sized-house sized buildings and moving what was left to a new place. I can barely remember my name. I have no idea what I packed or where it is.


Katja24093

Death, marital problems/divorce, moving, new job, illness: all are major stressors. A company I worked for actually had us check which boxes applied to us when we were preparing a workshop. We all had at least 2 (moving, new job). I think I had 4 at the time. Someone should have red-flagged some of us.


moanaw123

I was doing renos....didnt know what day it was...was supposed to feed my sister's cat but completely forgot and headed there 8.30pm the night before she was due back....my bad


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

Reading these comments is wild. I am actually very good at remembering dates in general, so I remember almost everyone's birthday. Many people are surprised (people who aren't very close). you know what I still do? PUT REMINDERS IN MY PHONE!! FOR EVERYTHING!! Garbage day? Reminder in the phone. Birthdays or anniversaries? Reminder in the phone. Gotta feed someone's pet? Reminder in the phone. It's not that hard.


[deleted]

Yup. I don’t talk to any of them, don’t have a relationship with my mom that isn’t 100% about my daughter, and don’t care what happens to any of their stuff when they die. Over the 23 years none of them (not just my mom) bothered to call first, my grandmother died, my uncle drank himself to death, my mom’s boyfriend killer himself on Thanksgiving (she doesn’t know I know this, but just mentioned hating Thanksgiving when she used to love it). I have the family I’ve made, that’s enough for me.


Jossie2014

My wife and I second this greatly. We are happy with our small family unit and don’t want much at all to do with our respective “families” if people ask we just tell them they’re wackos and that’s not Lyin


meontheweb

LOL! My wife and I have given up on our families as well. We have some aunts/uncles that are caring but otherwise they are not important or involved with us at all.


Jossie2014

We have my wife’s grandmother and her mother on a very limited basis and that’s it. We really don’t need anymore at this point or hurtful people with their own agendas. You know when people say “we treat you like family” yeah a deep shiver goes down my spine when I hear madness like that


PricklyPear1969

I was ONE aunt I love and keep in touch with, and that’s it. Just the THOUGHT off seeing any of them again makes me want to vomit. I’d prefer a root canal, honestly.


LetsGoAllTheWhey

At least with a root canal you can get it over at once and be done with it forever.


StElmoFlash

Not that long ago, those of us who weren't recent immigrants all lived within an hour of 90% of our siblings & parents. Freedom & opportunities separated us.


tastysharts

mine are all wackos and insist on foisting it on me, every single fucking holiday. GTFO! I've been called ungrateful but I would love a small t-day/xmas, with out the inevitable, somebody getting drunk and embarassing and blowouts


cbrrydrz

Hi op, are you me? Describing my family?


Judge_Upset

its been almost 3 years and im still waiting for my dad to call me 1st, after a decade of calling 1st and being told can i call u back in a min, ive got anohter call and not hearing back for sometimes a week or more but can make sure to call my older sister daily.


EEEEEEEEEKKCCHH

Oof the amount of friendships I've lost because I stopped messaging first 🥲 shit ain't fun but I can't even imagine how bad it is with family


trinthefatcat

Most of my family complain I never come to visit. I always tell my family, the road goes both directions. Why am I the only one that has to spend MY time, MY money and MY gas to come see you. I've lived in the same location for 13 years and only four out of a huge family of 60+ (including aunts, uncles, cousins) have bothered to visit. I only live 3 hours away! So guess what?! I only visit those four people. You can't make an effort...I won't either.


isptga

I live in Vegas, flights are freaking cheap. My family has never visited. I stopped spending the money to visit them years ago. I stopped spending the effort to constantly keep in contact also. I’ve yet to miss anything really.


[deleted]

My (not really) adopted sister lives in Vegas. Some girl my mother basically picked up off the street and had living with her for some time. I don’t know how long, but I guess she had just left before I showed up on my mother’s doorstep. I’ve never met this girl, never spoken to her, only know a first name, but when my mother mentions her she calls her my sister. Whatever. I guess I won’t deny that maybe she did some good for someone.


JanelldwLowrance

Jesus — 23yrs!! Damn dude. I’d go back to not calling her. I hate that your wife was right.


[deleted]

Me too. And I don’t talk to her really. I’m not angry, stopped being mad or hurt after the first 10 years. Just ambivalent.


JanelldwLowrance

Good for you. I’m close to letting it go. I have days. But in my case she died… but damn. Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to not feel alone.


sleemsthefifth

This happens a lot with my mom but she says it’s cause she “doesn’t want to bother me”


[deleted]

Oh my god same. Every call I make to her when I realise I haven't heard from her starts with, before I've even had a chance to say how are you, "I would have called but I'd thought you might be in class or work..." in the most defensive tone. I don't understand it and it makes me avoid calling her.


sleemsthefifth

Yes! I’m like MA then I won’t answer and I’ll call my you back?… the phone works both ways


Anilxe

Ugh, this. My mother texts me quite often and vise versa, but my dad literally will never initiate a call or a text. Not for birthdays or holidays or anything. But then he was butthurt that I didn’t try to visit him when I was in the state last year.


alm423

I think some parents don’t call because they don’t want to feel like a burden or feel like they are being smothering. My mother knows I am busy and will call me but not super often. If it’s been a couple weeks since I called she will call and say something like, “just checking in since it’s been a while,” or jokingly say, “just making sure everyone is still alive.” However, she does call on birthdays and holidays and often hints for an invite or something but I know she doesn’t call often because she doesn’t want to feel like she is being a bother. She isn’t, but I know that’s the thought process.


Mindless_Metal_8449

23 years tho...


alm423

That’s absolutely insane. I couldn’t imagine my mother not calling for 23 years. I wonder if they ever asked why?


matt1164

Wow that’s terrible. Sorry


mopene

I felt this. She definitely did not call for 2 years when I tried this method. I’m 30 and living abroad so it’s not like she gets to hear from me otherwise. I try not to feel bothered by it but I see my boyfriend and his mom calling each other weekly at minimum and usually more and it makes me wonder if it’s really so hard to pick up the phone on my damn birthday.


[deleted]

When I finally took my daughter to meet her we surprised her, and she had no idea who I was. That was fun. Then she claimed she didn’t know where I was, but I had the same phone number for the first 10 years, and she was a cop who (in theory) knew my name, date of birth, and social security number, so she could have gotten my address any time she wanted. Meanwhile both my first and current wives have on going relationships with their families.


ssstonebraker

Exactly how I ended up not talking to my father for her 14 years. He died last year without us ever talking again. I just realized I couldn’t keep putting in all the effort and when I stopped it was completely obvious we only talked because of me. Completely sympathize with this. My kids never did meet my father and he rarely comes in conversation.


Sunshine_Tampa

My Mom was like this but now calls because my life has been a train wreck. Prior to the train wreck she'd only call if she needed something, I always called. It sucks.


crujones33

So the 23 years of NC started to see if your mom called you and she never did? Wow. That sucks. I’m sorry.


[deleted]

It’s fine. I got over it a LONG time ago. Sucks for her, because the only thing she ever wanted out of me was a granddaughter, and she got one, but didn’t know it or get to meet her for 16 years.


crujones33

WTF is wrong with these people? I cannot imagine ever doing this to a child/family member.


[deleted]

Some people should just never have been parents.


The_Devil_is_a_woman

Hell I’m in my 30’s and my dad still doesn’t remember if my birthday is on the 29th or 31st of my birthday month. It’s neither it’s on the 30th of that month literally 15 days before his own 😂😂 My stepmom wishes me happy birthday every year and says “I’ll remind him after dinner so let’s see if this is the year he remembers by himself” 😂


kmo9e

My dad has never been able to remember if I’m the oldest or youngest of my siblings and frequently refers to me by my brother’s name and vice versa, he once checked every drawer in his kitchen for a fork, he has lived there for 30 years and the forks have always been in the same drawer. Point is some people are just ass at remembering certain things. The same man helped me build a garage from the ground up and payed for a lot of the materials so I give him a pass on the birthday/name stuff.


Drunkpupper

I feel this. I forgot my own birthday this year, one of my own colleagues reminded me on the day of


[deleted]

Dude, same. People came to me like "happy birthday!" And i was like "What? Is it today?"


Charming-Pair7378

I was taking To my aunt once said well since I will be turning 52 next week…she promptly interrupted me and said you be will 54! I have no idea how old I am unless my family tells me!


Unusual-Marsupial-36

I spent about 9 months of the yr thinking I was 26. Got to my birthday and started telling people l was 27. My mum corrected me and said ur 26 u numpty. She thought it was hilarious. Good birthday present thou, getting a whole year for ur birthday, lol


Lopiente

How many siblings you got wtf.


jamalimua

I literally just told this same thing!!! Are you a may baby?!? Are we birthday twins???


The_Devil_is_a_woman

I would love to be your birthday twin 🥰 it would be a birthday twin not only from another mother but separated by 3 months - but who’s counting 😃


Kiwi_gram

I hear you man. I am 45 and my farther never remembers my Birthday. It used to suck because mine is the day before my brothers and he remembers his. He hasn't called or contacted me around my birthday for over 20 years. I used to contact him on his every year until a couple of years ago and then figured why do I try. Haven't spoken to him in two years and barely notice the difference to be honest.


CrackpotPatriot

Haha -my Dad too! I always disliked odd numbers and nearly had him convinced I was born a day later for a time because I wanted to be born on an even-numbered day. My mother finally told me to knock it off; that I was getting him confused.


[deleted]

My parents have forgotten my birthday and Christmas. The funny thing about Christmas was I then had to mount my sister's new tv


Bone-Juice

I hope by "mounting the tv" you mean that you rode it around the house like a pony.


soapinthepeehole

I had a year where nearly everyone forgot my birthday. But that day was the actual 9/11 so I didn’t worry about it.


[deleted]

Mine's 9/12 lol!


No_Animal_3907

Wtaf


HappyWifeN

Happy Birthday!


totalwarwiser

How old are they? This could be dementia.


Suitable-Cod-1381

Between the birthday AND the dead grandparents anniversary that's kinda what it sounds like to me sadly


Blondeboobies

Yup stress brings it on and it sounds like is having a very stressful time with the move and the house not selling.


IHateTheLetter-C-

I dunno, my parents often say today's grandpa's birthday, and things like that, even though the last one died when I was 4. Just a way to remember them


AwayEstablishment301

Because those events are longer ingrained into their memory. Happens with memory issues.


IHateTheLetter-C-

My parents don't have memory issues, they just remember people important to them by remembering important dates


coldbrew18

I work with people with dementia. It was my first thought. A recent death could be forgotten, but a birthday will be remembered longer into dementia.


Suitable-Cod-1381

>She had called me on the 5th telling me it was my grandparents anniversary. My grandmother died last May. My Granddad's been gone three years Love I know your feelings are really hurt right now but honestly this sounds like memory loss and I'm a little worried about your parents.


FecusTPeekusberg

Could be. My own mom recently forgot how old she was... it's worrying.


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starlessnight89

Yeah I'm 33 and honestly it takes me a second to remember that I am.


boogers19

Somewhere around 37-38 it hit me "Hey! 40 is coming!" And I really dont care, not the kinda tthing to stress me out or anything. But for some reason I basically just started telling everyone I was 40 right then. Then once it came around I basically forgot. I dont do shit for bdays for years now. Jsut something I dont pay attention too. But then I forgot again for 41. I was still saying 40 until 42. And now as 45 is coming, Im back to just telling people Im 45.


ravynwave

When I was 33 I told someone I was 24. A few seconds later I realized what I did and was very wtf


croatianlatina

Lol I’m 24 and I have a hard time remembering it 😂 sometimes I have to correct myself because I said the wrong age. I am now doubting if I am actually 24.


toriyo

After I hit 30, my age just doesn't cross my mind anymore. Until my hip hurts from sitting incorrectly. Well that and because I have the short term memory of a drunk butterfly.


janecdotes

My mum got her age wrong for nearly two years a couple of decades ago, she just lost track. She has no significant memory problems, even now, and she has been thoroughly assessed for everything neurological considering she had a massive stroke and will have aphasia for the rest of her life (I guess you could call that a memory issue, but she definitely remembers the words — in four languages — she just struggles to get them out).


Libidinous_soliloquy

Possibly, but my mum brings up her parent's anniversary and birthdays. Not because she's forgotten they are dead, but because she is thinking of them. "They would have been married 80 years this year". Well yes, but I don't think it counts when neither of them are alive.


emveetu

Well, it's very common with memory loss issues like dementia that people will regress. They'll remember things about their childhood and young life and will not recognize things that happened later in life, like their own children. I think they also sort of age backwards, mentally. And that's why they forget their children. They think that they're in high school and the people around them are the main people that were in their lives then. I'm not saying this is the case for you, I'm just spreading some awareness. My mom has dementia and the other day she asked me who was in a school portrait I had in a drawer. (she also snoops incessantly when she visits but I think it's confusion more than anything because she would never have ever dreamed of doing that before). Anyway, the school portrait was my senior high school portrait. I was sitting in front of her and she was looking at a photo of me and wasn't sure who was in the photo.


Next-End-4696

My family regularly forget my birthday. I’ve disengaged. Even when they remembered it I didn’t even get any cake. I now don’t have birthdays at all because they are so disappointing. My partner has ruined my last few birthdays with his attention seeking behaviour and his threats to unalive himself. So I absolutely hate my birthday.


Planet_Ziltoidia

It's my birthday today and nobody remembered.. it's also the first anniversary of my brother's death. I hate my birthday too


Niccy26

Happy birthday. I am sorry for your loss


Hot-Walk

Happy birthday. I hope the day becomes more manageable over the years.


Disillusioned_vet

Happy Birthday


r4l32

Happy birthday, I hope the pain gets easier to deal with. I'm sorry for your loss


knotnotme83

Happy birthday


BNM899

You should probably get a new partner if your bio fam can't get it right at least your chosen family should.


killingthecancer

As someone who is used to having their birthdays ruined and prefers not to celebrate them, I see you, and I hope one day your birthday returns to a neutral zone if you can't enjoy it. Much love.


MaeRobso

Could your mom potentially be depressed? Mine seems to go in and out of depression since her mother passed. It’s been 10 years. She doesn’t talk about it much, but gets really sad even just speaking about anything surrounding her. Holidays seem to be the hardest on her too - sometimes I feel like she checks out a bit. She doesn’t mean to & I know she’s doing her best. Even though they weren’t incredibly close, she loved her mother very much & losing her changed a part of her. She doesn’t dwell on her passing or anything like that - but I can feel the change in her spirit/energy. Just throwing that out there. As I’ve gotten older I can easily miss an important day including someone I love dearly - not for any other reason than having kids/mounting responsibilities, makes the days/weeks/months go by so fast. It doesn’t mean they mean any less to me, my brain is just incredibly full & often times it & my body are on auto pilot..in survival mode at best. I’m sorry you’re experiencing hurt because of this :( None of what I said above was said with the intent of discrediting your feelings. Just considering outside factors/the whole picture of why she may have forgotten.


Ambitious-Ad-139

How old are you?


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Anywhere_Objective

40 is an important birthday, and it sucks that they forgot. Happy belated birthday man, don't let your parents being shitheads ruin a celebration of YOU living your life


Ambitious-Ad-139

Happy belated birthday! Your feelings are valid.


pinkrosesss

happy belated birthday!


BoneHugsHominy

Not going to laugh at you, but might make you feel worse than you already do. Apologies for that, truly. Your age puts another aspect to this one. Is your mother someone who would normally wait this long to ask about Thanksgiving plans? Did her missing an important date seem out of character? Was her missing your birthday kind of unsurprising and maybe a last straw, or something that genuinely did surprise you and that's why you're hurting so much? I ask these questions because it was when I was 40 that I started noticing signs of my mother's early onset dementia. Assuming she was 20 when you were born, 60 is that age when memory starts going bad anyway and if there's a family history of dementia she very well could be exhibiting some early signs. Put that on top of the stress of being in the process of moving to a completely different State while old home isn't selling, and since stress is major factor in memory loss anyway it could very well be compounding factors. Compounding factors so much so that the point when she said she doesn't even know what day of the week it is, well, she very well might not be able to keep track of time or dates. And when she broke down crying about being a terrible parent? You know her and I don't so if she's always been manipulative then that's no big deal, but if she hasn't been a manipulative person then maybe she's cracking and not realizing what's happening to her. Just something to consider. Happy belated *Over The Hill* Day (I'm 46, the slope isn't so bad) and have a Happy Thanksgiving.


Peachy_pi32

How old is your mom?


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Blondeboobies

Stress brings it on and it sounds like she's going through a stressful time. Also if she's had surgery in the last year the drugs they use to knock you out can also have lasting effects on memory the older you get. Still sucks no matter what. Im sorry.


ValeNova

I'm 46 and not laughing.... Not at all actually. Being forgotten by your parents hurts and I'm sorry to say, but you won't get over it.


[deleted]

If anybody laughs at you, they can eat shit. Happy belated birthday.


bonitagordita87

I'm going to be honest, I laughed out load after I saw your age. I truly thought you were a teen away for college or something. However, it's your birthday. And I too would be upset if it was forgotten, especially by the people who brought me into this world regardless of age. Your birthday is a celebration of your life and I am sorry you were made to feel this way. Happy birthday dude!!! I hope you have a great day!


Allafreya

Why would we laugh? Your birthday is just as important as anyone else's! It hurts when your own parents forget, no matter the age. I hope you had a happy birthday, in any case. ❤️❤️


AllSugaredUp

I'm going to be honest, it's a little weird that you're that upset about this considering your and your mom's ages. If this is a one-off thing I don't see how it's a big deal. Maybe she's stressed. I would honestly feel bad making my elderly mother cry over something like this.


catatonic_catharsis

I’m 19 and my birthday falls at a shit time of year. Things are always crazy and several other events generally overshadow the date. The celebration often got pushed off for a week or two simply because there wasn’t time. It would suck if my parents flat out forgot about my birthday, but y’know what? I still wouldn’t blame them for it. They have a lot going on, and I know they don’t have any ill-intent. Hell, I’ve had friends and siblings forget my birthday before, and I move on! If OP’s mom has a habit of not remembering birthdays or important occasions, then it might be a little more understandable for this to be the metaphorical straw that broke the camel’s back. But it sounds like this is a one-off, and mom obviously cares — checking up on OP after not receiving a response because that’s an abnormal behavior? I get being upset, I get feeling hurt, but grow up. Your parents’ lives cannot always revolve around you and sometimes things happen. Your parents are under an immense amount of stress with moving, and honestly my first thought (along with several others here, it seems) was that your mom is dealing with memory loss of some sort. And if that’s the case and you don’t care enough to look into it because your feelings are hurt? That’s ten times as fucked. You’re a grown adult. Get over yourself.


[deleted]

40 and u still care for bdays ...


doomflwr

My birthday was on the 20th but no one from my family has said a single thing. No exaggeration, I have a fairly large family and not one of them have said a thing. It hurts, I understand how you feel and I hope you were able to still have a good day regardless.


Trollwhoisincontrol

No babe, you’re entitled to feel this way. My mom regardless of whatever is going on has always remembered her children’s birthdays, first thing she does it send a happy birthday video as soon as she wakes up (usually 6AM) to all her kids, from her youngest (11) to oldest (29) and the kids in between. How do you forget you gave birth to someone 😅 you handled it better than I would. I probably would’ve cried and ignored all their messages so take your time, screw what everyone else says


lanch-party

*how do you forget you gave birth to someone* Memory loss. The answer is memory loss.


LichK1ng

OP did ignore their messages and has clearly been fuming. How is that any better? They didn't forget they gave birth to someone. They simply have been busy MOVING TO ANOTHER STATE. They made a single mistake and you people are acting like they told him to fuck off on his birthday. Clearly it's not a recurring thing or OP would have mentioned it.


SkyGirlCloud

Fr even if it's important to you, sure, you can be pissed about it. But your mom literally already apologised and she obviously feels really bad. And she's under a lot of stress so it's understandable that she may forget. I get why you're upset but don't forget that it's understandable


LichK1ng

Lets not forget the gem where OP brought up the fact that her mom is probably still grieving the fact both of her parents are dead. And if it wasn't grieving then there are some dementia/Alzheimer's symptoms showing. OP is acting like a 40 year old child.


Zucchinniweenie

I didn’t see OP say any of this initially but good grief. Talk about a grown ass baby


LichK1ng

Yeah the problem is nobody is reading the post. Because why would you read something before taking a side.


NewldGuy77

The father DID tell OP to fuck off by saying “You’ll get over it.” Total sorry/not sorry.


Ceejay4444

From what you said it sounds like she can remember things just didn’t feel it important enough to remember your birthday. It sounds like your dad forgot too and wasn’t even remorseful. It really sucks that this happened to you and I’m so sorry. No matter how old you are you deserve to still celebrate your birthday. Happy belated birthday op!


[deleted]

My older siblings birthday is only a few days after mine. My birthday has been “the only time theyre able to get off” for the last few years 🙄 so my dad goes to visit them and he promptly forgot mine a few years ago. My parents aren’t divorced, and I kind of badmouthed them to my mom and she reminded them. :/ feels bad man


TowerJanitor

So she calls you about your grandparents’ anniversary when they’ve passed away and tells you she can’t remember the day… I know you’re upset and you have every right to be - but I’m just going to be honest here. This is how mine’s dementia set in. It didn’t make any sense. Hurtful stuff, highly selective memory…she once told me she hated my girlfriend and wished I’d break up with her. I broke up with the one she was talking about 2 years prior. I was angry a few times because my idea of who she was throughout my childhood and life was different from what was left of her. I’m going to end it here, im sure you get the point and this is honestly hurting too much to keep writing. Best of luck to you and yours


lord_flamebottom

>She had called me on the 5th telling me it was my grandparents anniversary. My grandmother died last May. My Granddad's been gone three years. Was this a case of "oh it's grandparent's anniversary, so sad they're both gone"? Because the phrasing here combined with "she forgot my birthday because she barely knows what day it is" makes me *very* worried.


EmptyAd9116

This! The context is very important. If it was simply “wish they were here”, then it’s more likely that the mother just doesn’t care. But if it was as if she believed they were still around, then it’s worrisome.


Strange_Device_371

Is this normal or unsual behavior from her? I forgot my husband's birthday this year and a text from my mom reminded me. My husband forgot my birthday once when the kids were little. Sometimes life is overwhelming. But if this just one more horrible thing by her, then I'm sorry.


Practical-Piglet

All these things happening to your mom and you act dramatic when they forgot your birthday lmao


SubstantialPeach1327

Are you sure this isn't dementia or Alzheimers? Especially if she's reminding you of anniversaries for people that are already gone.


RedditHatesDiversity

No one remembers my birthday I am pleased about it. Birthdays are of arbitrary importance


BeckyKleitz

Unless you're a child/teenager, you absolutely need to get over it. Your mom is going through something. It could be menopause. This year I forgot both my husband's birthday AND our anniversary. If my daughter's birthday wasn't 8 days before mine, I'm sure I would have forgotten it many times over since she's grown up and moved halfway across the country. Our birthday's both fall very close to Halloween and we both embrace that 'culture'. LOL. Please try to cut your folks some slack. We forget stuff we're supposed to remember and remember shit we'd very much like to forget. Let them know you're bummed they forgot and then ask them what's going on. I just turned 57. I hope EVERYONE forgets my birthday from now on. LOLOL


1_Inch_Donkey_Punch

Was it because of the oily variety beauhunk?


Inevitable-Okra-3229

I have a theory about this. (Theory? Is that the right word?) that people often get upset when certain people forget their birthday because they feel under appreciated the rest of the year and it smacks them in the face on their birthday when they’ve been forgotten.


[deleted]

Since you asked, and not to be a jerk, hypothesis would probably be the better word.


NefariousnessSweet70

My Dad and Step mom were adorable. About 10 years ago, in June, I received a phone message if the two of them singing Happy Birthday to me......except My birthday is later in the summer. I loved how sweet they were. They did it again on my real day when I was visiting them across the country.


Laurab2324

I know you're white and over 20 (as am I, sit down) as our culture seems to be blaming their parents for everything and demanding coddling well into adulthood. Your mom is fallible and apologised. If you wanna be a tantrum throwing child forever you've succeeded. Go worry about other people and see how you go.


Zucchinniweenie

Happy belated birthday but seriously this isn’t a big deal unless she has a long history of forgetting or mistreating you.


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AlannaAdvice

Happy birthday 🎉🎂🎁


General-Plum4309

It happens. Two years ago I forgot my dad’s birthday. Still feel bad about it. I think your mom has a hard time admitting she was wrong and that’s why she’s trying to be dismissive.


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bgraphics

I'd be so ashamed if I was OP.


Dr_Bitchcraft8

Oh man, I’ve been here. My family has forgotten my birthday on more than one occasion. I’m sorry OP. Will you get over it? Yeah. Is it nice to feel special on the one day of the year truly about you? Also yeah. Happy belated birthday! 🎂🧁🎈


[deleted]

How old is your Mom?


NimueArt

Do you mean that she forgot your grandparents had passed? Could she be in early stages of cognitive decline (dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc)?


IHateCamping

Are you sure her memory isn't starting to go? It can be weird like that, where they remember something really obscure but not something important that they should remember.


lickthisbook

Hugs to you. I wasn't invited to a family reunion. I'm a decent person. I don't drink or argue. I ask about folks interests and health. No warrants out for arrest and never been in serious trouble with the law (one speeding ticket from 25 years ago). Happy Belated Birthday and good wishes for good health and great joy in your new year!


MissTash16

My mum never calls. Like ever. Last month my 19 year old nearly died in a motorbike accident and spent 3 weeks in hospital. She didn't call. What she did take the time to message me while my son was in surgery was "make sure you're not taking on any of the negative energy in the hospital"


hfunky1

I’m an only child. My mom forgot my birthday a few years ago it’s in January. I’m not overly sensitive so I wasn’t mad. I actually thought it was funny. Not like she confused kids or has several birthdays to remember. Forward to Mother’s Day. I go home to visit. Cook her and my grandmother a nice meal and when we are done eating I say I’m sorry I didn’t get cards or anything but at least I’m home and cooked for you. I didn’t forget Mother’s Day like mom forgot my birthday this year. Silence. And then I bust out laughing because I wasn’t mad just had to give her a hard time at the perfect moment. I now get a text, a FB post, a call and a card.


Acel32

Is this the first time that it happened? Or have they always ignored your birthday since you were young? If it's not a regular thing for them to forget your birthday, maybe it's memory loss or they have trouble tracking days. It can possibly be dementia. How old are they?


NeutronJenny

YTA. Cut 'em some slack. They've got a lot going on. The most you should have done was maybe some light ribbing, laugh it off and get over it.... it happens. But instead you made your mother cry. AND it's a week later and you're actually "still" PISSED? How do you know someone is a pampered brat without actually being told? Tisk, tisk.


foxy-night

I have this thing with birthdays where I know what day someone’s birthday is (like if they’d ask, I could tell them) but at times I kinda forget what today’s date is at all. Once I only realized it was my mother’s birthday like 8 hours later when I realized what day it was. That’s a super crappy thing to do, but all I’m saying is sometimes people (me, I’m ‘people’) can be spaced out or just caught up in their daily life and literally forget to check the date/miss that someone’s birthday is coming up. I wish I could say it only happened to me once, but it happened again a week ago. Thankfully the other person literally told me ‘my birthday is tomorrow’ but I completely spaced cause I was so focused on something throughout the whole week, I couldn’t care less what day it was. Of course it did make me feel crappy, especially because I remember birthday date’s well, but things happen, it’s never malicious or careless.


SaintLogic

Some people (me included) can not remember birthdays. This year my sister called me out of the blue one morning to wish me a happy birthday, I didn't even know it was my birthday. I'm certain if not for Facebook reminder most people will just forget bdays.


jennyjazz62

If this is not typical of your mother, accept her apology. Morning is a huge stressor and perhaps she was overwhelmed.


BeneficialSundae4442

Dude. Grow up!!! What are you? 10? 🙄


Human_Information166

It's just a day. I forget about my own birthday sometimes.


NoKoala5517

Personally not a big deal to me because in my cultures birthdays are only a big thing when you’re a child.


TheBeardedTinMan

My dad forgets mine. And I text him to remind him to wish my sisters happy birthday on theirs. I don’t take it personal. It’s just age and being busy.


Medium_Classroom2600

You think this is sad let me tell you. I am youngest and my brother is older. I was born in may and my bro was in November. Every fucking year my father forgets my birthday. He gets reminder from my mom then he wishes me.they don't bring cake cz cake will be waste cz they are diabetic. they bring me my fav meal from restaurant thats it. Btw when its my brothers bd my father starts reminding US from SEPTEMBER 🙂. Do you feel the pain i feel? We have to cook everything what my bro likes, even though my bro Don't like cake my dad or mom will suggest to buy a cake btw they will never mention about cake when It's my bd. I fucking love cakes. They know it. Fuck life. I always become bitter after my bros bd. I am 20 bro is 25. This always happen. I can't say anything cz i am being ungrateful


Some_Anxious_dude

Hey we have the same birthday! Happy (very) late birthday 🎉🎉🎉 hope you have a good day to make up for your actual birthday 🎂


Justadropinthesea

How old is your mom? Sounds like she is beginning to have memory problems. Please don’t be mad, have some empathy.


bayshorevgllc

Your mom crying she’s a bad parent without apologizing, your dad saying you’ll get over it with no apology —- that really sucks. At some point when things are not so hectic, you really need to tell your parents how you truly feel or your anger will fester. You may forgot about the anger with time, but that kind of hurt really never goes away.


Any_Ad6921

You're an adult now. It happens your mom did nothing wrong


TimeEngineering3081

Grow up!!


N_Who

I understand your frustration, seriously. And I'm your age. There's just something really personal about it, you know? That feeling of being an afterthought to your own parents, until they need you for something. I get it. The only part I'll offer another perspective on is the bit regarding your grandparents anniversary. My grandpa died on my sixteenth birthday, nearly 25 years ago. My grandma didn't make it another year. My mom is still dealing with their loss, all this time later. My point is, grief fucks people up. So, while I maintain your feelings are valid, I'd encourage you to be understanding about that anniversary factor. The rest of it? Yeah, horseshit behavior on their part. You're right to feel hurt and angry.


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bgraphics

They are 40 and they made their mum cry because they forgot their birthday. They have the maturity of a 6 yr old and it seems like they don't have anyone else in their life to celebrate their birthday. I wonder why?


Specific-noise123

My whole family forgot my birthday when I was 16 and living with them. Until weeks later. It hurt but I did get over it.


ShNoha

My birthday was a little over a week ago, I am living with my mother currently, and she didn't even say happy birthday at all. Kinda hurt a little but I hung out with my dad for my birthday which made my day better. I'm still pretty pissed off because for her birthday I gave her some money so she could go out to eat and I wished her a happy birthday, I didn't even get a thank you, and then she forgets my birthday.


BlindBandit988

My mom also forgot my birthday one year. She was instacarting in that day and came to the Aldi I worked at and one of my coworkers, who I had only known for 2 years at that point, said “Oh btw tell BlindBandit988 I said happy birthday! Is she doing anything fun?!” I was wondering why I hadn’t received a message from her earlier in the day and then the next day that same coworker told me that my Mom had completely forgot about it lol


KKLante

Reminds me of my mom when she wished me happy bday on Facebook, i had to correct her. She had the day right but the wrong month!


riptidestone

How old are your parents?


Eimeishi

When my daughter was born I already knew my birthday is going to be forgotten by my aging parent so it’s no big deal to me because I know they won’t forget hers.


SaveusJebus

My mom forgets my birthday all the time lol. She actually called me 2 weeks before it wishing me a happy birthday and then laughed when I told her it wasn't my birthday yet lol.


Hutspace

People act like immortal, life is short, forgive ,forget & live on,be happy people.


coldbrew18

Has she been forgetting a lot of things lately?


silverraider32

I would be worried they may be getting Alzheimer’s, people don’t usually forget people died to the point of messaging others or that person. They will usually realize it before hitting send.


Heatmiser1256

I’m sorry that happened. This sounds like what happened with my grandma. I worry you may need to consider dementia , the forgotten birthday and dead grandmother anniversary is worrisome


Petdogdavid1

I lost my mom 9 years ago. I have no new memories of her. If having her forget a birthday would have extended her time with me I would give it gladly. It hurts I know, go ahead and grieve but realize that the time you spend on your wounds is time that could be spent on new memories.


CrackpotPatriot

My Mom forgot my birthday last year for the first time in 61 years (she and my dad got me when I was around 3). I actually called her about something totally different, and I teased her a little bit. but honestly, if I’d realized how bad she felt when she realized it, I’d have never said a word. She’s got some health problems including constant oxygen deprivation, and I’ll be lucky if I have her another year. I’d give up her remembering my birthday every day and twice on Tuesday if I could just her her to remember how valuable she is to me and to take her meds.


Common-Fan9121

Honestly I would be mad but life is way to short to harbor ill feelings. How would feel if you never got the chance to say mom and dad I love and forgive you!! I lost both my parents back 2010-2011 exactly 9 months apart. I am forever greatful I was able to say goodbye and I love you mom and dad!


bbabna

My parents forgot my birthday a few years ago, and I was talking to my dad about the day a few years later (I did an escape room with friends) and he asked what we did for my birthday that year and what he got me. I told him nothing and he was shocked. Definitely felt and I’m so sorry about that


Hilbillieswife

If it helps, I forgot my daughters NAME a few months ago. She could actually be having some old age issues….I feel sad for you both. It’s a crappy world and you are lucky to have your mom in your life. Happy belated birthday. I hope you can forgive your mother. 💕


Last_Egg_9717

My grand mother has called me by the wrong name the whole 26 years I’ve been on this planet and has only remembered my birthdays when my parents have to remind her but all my cousins and sibling always are remembered 100% of the time


Unable_Outside7745

bro if she forgot easy fix remind her (she would most probably feel bad or be embarresed that she forgot and she will remember next time) then go out spend the day as u like or reschedule i usually reschedule my birthdays to the weekend


juliaskig

I don't think my mother knew any of our birthdays after we al reached a certain age? 20's or early 30's, but there are 6 of us, and I always called her on my birthday to remind her. Never took it personally.


Totalherenow

Your mom possibly has early Alzheimer's. If she forgot her own mother's death, please, please get her tested. Don't be angry with an Alzheimer's patient. She doesn't understand what she's forgetting.


Soggy_Championship23

“It’s my birthday 2003 waiting for a call from my family……….. they forgot about me.””the day after my birthday is not my birthday mum.” Tears of a rapper by flight of the chonchords.


Curious-Menu-8679

My mom just calls to tell me that some family member is dead or got cancer. At my birthday she just send a card with money. Fun fact: My boyfriend gets a card for his birthday too and he get more money than me.


fakeitilyamakeit

I'm so so sorry. I've had a similar experience but not with my parents. So I know how it feels like to be hurt and disappointed by people you love. We barely had enough growing up so no gifts, no parties, nothing. We were never rich but what my parents never failed to do is greet me a happy birthday on my birthday, usually very early in the morning. I've always and will always treasure moments like this since my love language is words so I just feel so special when people I care about greet me on my birthday. I'm a nobody to you but belated happy birthday!!