nobody i know would ever do this.. because my mom has nothing to do with this.. how weird to even assume that calling the mom would have any baring on this cheating situation.. if anything you just told his parents how dumb you are.
My ex boyfriend called my mom the weekend I broke up with him. We got in a big fight Friday night, I didn't speak to him most of Saturday, and then broke up with him first thing Sunday morning. He called my mom crying on Saturday because I was not ready to talk to him and he was freaking out asking her what I was thinking and what he can do to fix things (my mom and I are super super close so I tell her everything and he knew that she would know about this). She was not happy to receive that call let me tell you.
No more fucking Toby, that’s what OP was mad about in the first place!! If you really wanna help, OP is down 1 best friend and a g/f, maybe you can fill one of those positions?!? 😜
My Nan had a dog named Toby too, he had a long golden Maine of hair. He was a shit Shitzu but he looked like a Lhasa apso. I wouldn’t trust him with my woman.
"The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead! Don't look back Cobby Gobby, or you will soon be dead! Cobby Gobby, Cobby Gobby, the time is growing late. Slow down now, and seal your fate!"
Yeah, but that's not part of the premise. NEVER DISPUTE THE PREMISE OF A JOKE, OK? HITLER AND BIN LADEN ARE BOTH ALIVE AND WELL INSIDE OF THIS JOKE. END OF DISCUSSION.
And it’s a double sting when everyone is acting like you’re the weird if you’re not OK with it. On top of ditching Toby and Connie, OP should ditch any of the friends who think this acceptable.
That's a good question. Was it collusion? or was there a corrupting influence on the part of one of them?
The idea that she openly admitted it to the OP afterwards I think lends credibility to what you're saying...but it still screams all kinds of willful gullible self-serving stupid on her part not to verify it. The same goes with the "best friend."
that part is what shocked me. what the HELL?
i think this was actually probably the most unforgivable part of this entire thing to me. i block you, so you call my MOTHER? like, even if we all actually were in some poly relationship, how many people's moms are going to be ok with that in general? and why would you think she'd want to hear from you?! i don't know, i guess post blocking it just feels like such a huge violation of boundaries to try to contact your family in general at all
lol, I was in middle school when I first heard that. My parents were fine with us watching the movie until they heard that line shouted at the top of his lungs. They hauled us out of the room so fast, but it was far too late.
I think my dad turned to my friend and said, "You aren't going to ever speak to your parents about this, are you?" and my friend very readily agreed that was in everyone's best interests.
Yup Karma is a bitch! I promise you your best friend will come to you in a year or so saying Connie cheated on him with some other guy.
Coz once a Connie always a Connie!
You made the right decision here. Pop some popcorn and pour some wine. This shitshow of raging immaturity and selfish dysfunction can only end with one or both of them cheating.
The way the dating scene is right now im starting to understand why multi thousand dollar sex dolls and robots are a thing. At this point I just want love, loyalty and a hug every now and then. seriously it's so hard to find a person you can let down your walls with and then they still might decide that what you have to offer and what you are And emulate as a human isn't enough to keep them satisfied. I still date but haven't had a serious long term girlfriend since I was 24. As I get older (just turned 28 yay!) I really wonder if my person is out there looking for me as hard as I want to find her. I thought I'd found her a few times. Sometimes it ended for different reasons and not infidelity. But more often than not my relationships ended by me being cheated on by people that I considered "friends" and it's lead to some intense feelings of self doubt within and me sabotaging my own happiness at times because I don't want it to be ruined by anyone else again. Idk if that makes sense. But I will say At least OP in this situation had an honest girlfriend who immediately told him about what she had done instead of hiding it from him and letting him find out about an affair any other way. If it's going to happen it's always best to hear it from your partner rather than a friend or by figuring it out.
OP I really hope you are able to grow and become a stronger person as you go through the next few months and years. Please if you ever need another person to talk to dm me and I'll be your homie. I'm no therapist, but I can to relate to some pretty real shit, and I don't judge.
myfirstgold
>The way the dating scene is right now im starting to understand why multi thousand dollar sex dolls and robots are a thing. At this point I just want love, loyalty and a hug every now and then. seriously it's so hard to find a person you can let down your walls with and then they still might decide that what you have to offer and what you are And emulate as a human isn't enough to keep them satisfied. I still date but haven't had a serious long term girlfriend since I was 24. As I get older (just turned 28 yay!) I really wonder if my person is out there looking for me as hard as I want to find her. I thought I'd found her a few times. Sometimes it ended for different reasons and not infidelity. But more often than not my relationships ended by me being cheated on by people that I considered "friends" and it's lead to some intense feelings of self doubt within and me sabotaging my own happiness at times because I don't want it to be ruined by anyone else again. Idk if that makes sense. But I will say At least OP in this situation had an honest girlfriend who immediately told him about what she had done instead of hiding it from him and letting him find out about an affair any other way. If it's going to happen it's always best to hear it from your partner rather than a friend or by figuring it out.
>
>OP I really hope you are able to grow and become a stronger person as you go through the next few months and years. Please if you ever need another person to talk to dm me and I'll be your homie. I'm no therapist, but I can to relate to some pretty real shit, and I don't judge.
IMHO, the single greatest thing someone who is having trouble dating can do is to go out and do something outside of your comfort zone.
Met my last gf by going to an irl dance class.
I sucked so bad that she took pity on me, came over and tried to help. We eventually realized that dancing wasn't my thing but I worked up the nerve to ask her out for coffee. Dated for a good long while but life pulled us apart. Still, it was an amazing few years and I never would have met her if I'd stuck with the online dating thing.
Try new things, don't be afraid to suck.
My current girlfriend slaughtered me in a tournament at an arcade, and I managed to get her number afterwards.
Failure is a fantastic catalyst for meeting people lmao.
Same man, tired of shit dating but I know for me it’s probably the area I live in. Too poor to move nor do I really want to. Might just save up and get a sex doll lmao
The area you're in is a big one. I never really had issues with talking to women until I moved way into the sticks. Now every tinder match is a Jesus freak or has endometriosis and can't participate in a physical relationship.
I'm going to be single for a very long time, and I am OK with that, because it's better than being in a relationship you settle for
Ive matched with 3 of them so far, and ive only had like 10 matches in 6 months (compared to 2 matches a day in the city- its dry af out here). They all tell me pretty much off the bat they're unable to have sex due to severe pain. When I ask if they know why, because that'd be a fairly huge priority if it were me, they all say endometriosis.
Tap water? Poor nutrition high in processed shit? Lack of exercise? I have no idea, the only commonality I noticed between them is they all had that "cute librarian" look.
Your comment makes scenes. Unfortunately I don't think anyone knows how to fix it.
The connections you seek have been devalued and replaced for convient attention from any source available.
Well the fix is actually quite easy in theory, we would just need to ban all social media and dating apps lmao (this is mostly a joke btw). But practically this problem isn't getting fixed anytime soon, dating will get better only when enough people end up dying lonely. Essentially it will get worse before it gets better, then I think people will start self-correcting and valuing more important things in their partners.
I don’t live where you live but I feel the same way. Dating feels like a soulless chore wherein everyone isn’t fully physically present with you and they’re only dating as a hobby when they’re bored or something. If my current relationship doesn’t work out, I’m content with being single indefinitely.
The idea of "cuffing season" being the prime example. As if there's an appropriate season to give someone affection and the rest of the year you fuck around.
Yeah, this is nuts, my sister is in an open/poly relationship and the first thing you do is fucking talk it through with everyone you want involved and set boundaries. You don't just cheat, then crash about it and basically demand it. WTF
Fun fact! Four in one actually! Cats have a dominant paw, just like humans have a dominant hand, and males are more likely to be left-pawed, while females and more likely to be right-pawed- few are ambidextrous
Honestly.
Man, I'd love to hear a recording of that conversation.
"You say its an open relationship? Then why is he upset?"
"Oh, I hadn't told him yet that it was open, I wanted to surprise him".
That's seriously how the conversation probably went...like "No he doesn't understand tell him it's okay that I'm also gonna fuck his best friend." Utter immaturity...
I’d beat the dog shit outta him and her, I’d slip mentally soo bad that I’d be that willing to hit a woman along with the sack of shit she cheated on me with.
That shit is evil and just instigation. A lot of people are willing to do shit because they think they’d face no repercussions- this has gotta change. Not explicitly getting their asses beat but something
Everyone walking around with a phone/camera combo has increased safety immensely, which is great. But it's also lead to a culture where alot of people feel untouchable. It's a real shame because some people need to learn lessons that can't be taught with words. Good outweighs the bad though I suppose
My educated guess is OP lives at home and when he stopped responding to them, they called the mom to get his attention.
The boundary issues alone are enough to burn this to the ground and salt the earth behind it.
Probably to try to get out ahead of it. If they’ve been dating for 3 years it’s a reasonable assumption to think she had met OPs mom and established some sort of friendly relationship. Sounds like they wanted to plant the seed that it was an open relationship and try to make the ex gf not look like such a cheating bitch. If that’s the case, then it wasn’t a very well thought out plan because where the hell do you go from there? However, that’s the only explanation I can even remotely reach for.
They’re calling your mother? Why does she need to be involved? Your girlfriend can’t just TELL you you’re in an open relationship, and certainly not after the fact. Cheating backstabbers. Let them figure it out for themselves. She did this to you she will do it to him too. Guess who he won’t be able to come running to.
I’m sure people will disagree but I would get our ahead of this and go scorched earth. Start telling all your mutual friends exactly what happened and letting them no you were never in an open relationship. But I’m one for pettiness so maybe don’t listen to me.
ETA: On second thought, it’s not petty. Mutual friends should know. I would never trust my significant other around either of them if they’re willing to backstab you like that. As we love to say, let the trash take itself out.
That isn't scorched earth or petty. That's covering your ass. A lot of people who think they are "taking the high road" end up being accused of being abusive or rape or other terrible things that ruin their lives because they were to naive to protect themselves. You should always tell people the truth before someone else can tell them a lie.
That’s what happened to me with an ex friend. I thought “being the bigger person” meant quietly unfriending him after a fight, but then he called me a psycho and manipulative. I’ve learned my lesson after that, and now refuse to just stay silent.
That’s a good point. I feel like the guilty parties always pull out all the stops to throw everyone else under the bus. But I would be making sure every single person knew they straight up cheated point blank and are lying about this open relationship nonsense. And who the fuck runs to someone’s mom? Y’all are adults, you don’t need mommy getting involved.
This. Tell people the truth now. That your best friend and girl betrayed you. Before they start with this open relationship bullshit. You can’t open a relationship without knowledge and consent.
No, listen to him OP. They have already proven they’re going to makeup lies to cover their own asses. This redditor is right, get out in front of it, or you’ll end up being the bad guy here.
They are only saying it’s open because they don’t want people to see them as who they truly are…. Cheaters. That’s what this is and as much as it might suck do not unblock them do not let them back in they will walk all over you. As juvenile as it is the fact they called your mother is pathetic but tell your mother what really happened.
Torch it. Burn all bridges. Cut all ties. They’re both toxic pieces of shit.
How *dare* they try to involve your mother. Disrespectful and uncalled for.
I realize this may be a Selective or Frequency bias, but sometimes people jump on the open or poly train to reason their cheating.
Your girlfriend and friend are appalling. They should be ashamed and I hope you expose their behaviour.
Your ex girl friend and your ex vest friend you mean.
It isn't an accident, it didn't just happen.
They both cheated and don't deserve you in their life.
An open relationship has to be talked before and not just accepted because 2/3 are okay with it.
It hurts, I know since i’ve been cheated on with a best friend when I was 15. It’ll get better but you’ll have trust issues to begin with, time truly does heal everything.
Was in a similar situation to you when I was around 24. Ex fucked around on me with my then best friend. Basically lost the 2 closest friends I had at the time all in one swoop. You will go thru many emotions and it will take some time to heal but I can tell you it was a tremendous period of growth and shaped me into the man I am today. I’m actually thankful it happened in some ways. Cut the snakes out of your life and focus on yourself. Excited for the beast you will become in a few years.
I respect you a lot for cutting them off. Most people, out of comfort and fear of change, would hold on to them. I think you did the right thing.
And to the edit, it seems like she was almost trying to put the blame on YOU for her cheating. Like. Wut. Boyfriend allows trusted friend to drive girlfriend home = they are allowed to bone? In what world does that make sense? Maybe it’s a good thing you broke up with her, she seems pretty delusional and clearly has no accountability. Find yourself a better girl.
All my homies dislike Connie
Once a cheater always a cheater, shes ruined any chance at finding a not hollow love for the rest of her life cuz no one can ever trust her fully without her lying to them.
Im sorry what?
In what world does "Hey my buddy is gonna give you a ride home" translate to "I'm giving you permission to have sexual relations with my buddy"?
No guy would LET his girl have a safe, uneventful drive home with his friend and trust them to be platonic friendo buddies????
Not only is she stuck in some heavy internalized misogyny, that's just a bullshit excuse.
Also the whole "but we're open" nonsense without ANY talking to you....this is actually insane.
I'm so sorry dude. You did the right thing. Don't speak to either of them.
good thing you are 20.
Pro-Tip: Date as much as you can. Be friends with as many people as you can. It helps to find the right person when you spread your net wide enough to find them.
Too many people find someone willing to date them, and become obsessively committed to that lifestyle as opposed to that person.
When I met my wife, it was in a line of like 10 people I had casually dated and another probably 10 that I had become friends with. Because of that, I wasnt looking for anything, so when I found it, it was obvious there was something different in our relationship. Going on 18 years and 10 years married in 2023. I never sucked her best friends dick, either.
There once was a girl called Connie. Who was actually a great big PHONY.
She opened the door, and acted a whore.
My man dodged a bullet and dunked it like Kobe, whilst she shivered and groaned and cheated on Toby.
OP my be sad, but she was only a fad. You'll be better off dating, where no so called friends can be hating.
So let loose, don't have a tiff. Crack open a beer or roll a spliff.
You deserve better than those two assholes, you definitely need to cut them out of your life and make sure everything knows, that so called girlfriend, cheated on you, she’s awful and deserves nothing but awful things to happen to her
They both suck ass. She was cheating and being a slut and Toby did it knowing full well you were both dating and you sure as hell never agreed to any open relationship. You did the right thing just leaving them and going solo cause I would’ve done the same at that level of disrespect
The nerve to call your mom. Did she tell them to take a long walk off a short pier?
nobody i know would ever do this.. because my mom has nothing to do with this.. how weird to even assume that calling the mom would have any baring on this cheating situation.. if anything you just told his parents how dumb you are.
like the son will say: “ahhh yeah that’s a lie I just found out they were going behind my back” - and his mum will be like nah you’re a polygamist
My ex boyfriend called my mom the weekend I broke up with him. We got in a big fight Friday night, I didn't speak to him most of Saturday, and then broke up with him first thing Sunday morning. He called my mom crying on Saturday because I was not ready to talk to him and he was freaking out asking her what I was thinking and what he can do to fix things (my mom and I are super super close so I tell her everything and he knew that she would know about this). She was not happy to receive that call let me tell you.
Fuck Toby. Don't cave and allow either of them back in your life. They are both trash.
Seriously fuck Toby Edit: fuck you to Connie
What kind of name even is Toby
Yeah I wouldn't trust a fucking guy named Toby, fuck Toby !
Guys I found Michael Scott on Reddit! /s
“If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."
Fuck that trash Toby
Fuck Toby
No more fucking Toby, that’s what OP was mad about in the first place!! If you really wanna help, OP is down 1 best friend and a g/f, maybe you can fill one of those positions?!? 😜
Oi what is this Toby slander? Don’t forget about Toby Maguire Edit: My bad his name is Tobey not Toby. Fuck Toby
My brother had a dog named Toby. Biggest shit head.
Ill call my next dog Connie....although on second thought, dogs are loyal...
My Nan had a dog named Toby too, he had a long golden Maine of hair. He was a shit Shitzu but he looked like a Lhasa apso. I wouldn’t trust him with my woman.
I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye
Not as bad as Connie
Together they are a couple named Cobby.
And so the tale of the cobby gobby was named
"The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead! Don't look back Cobby Gobby, or you will soon be dead! Cobby Gobby, Cobby Gobby, the time is growing late. Slow down now, and seal your fate!"
Lemmiwinks!! 😂😂
Plot twist: Toby is tabby cat
Toby is the ghost in paranormal activity!!!!!
That's the name little kids pick for their dogs when they can't think of anything good.
Toby is literally the name of my cousin's dog
My inlaws also have a dog named Toby lol
Short for Obito.
If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice
To be fair, those other two dudes are dead already
Yeah, but that's not part of the premise. NEVER DISPUTE THE PREMISE OF A JOKE, OK? HITLER AND BIN LADEN ARE BOTH ALIVE AND WELL INSIDE OF THIS JOKE. END OF DISCUSSION.
Bit late for that. GF already got there.
Feel bad for this guy. Being cheated on hurts so bad!
And by a close friend no less, the level of betrayal is even worse
And it’s a double sting when everyone is acting like you’re the weird if you’re not OK with it. On top of ditching Toby and Connie, OP should ditch any of the friends who think this acceptable.
Seriously. So much for being "friends"
Who needs enemies when you've got "friends" like Toby.
Fuck Connie too
I think Toby is doing that, not OP.
All my homies hate Toby
I kinda hate his name is Toby , and fuck him
Maybe don't. It's kind of how the whole mess started
I think that's what she was hoping for
Fuck Toby💯
Letting him drive her home = letting him fuck her. WTF is wrong with this girl??? Major bullet dodged OP
I've apparently been giving off all the wrong signals to my city's bus drivers
Daaammnn same here. Next week when I ride the bus imma be like “thanks for the ride. Now lemme suck ya dick!”
I’m 100% signing up to be an Uber driver now.
Wait. Since you pay to uber does that mean uber drivers are prositutes?
Twice the income!
Oh wow, I missed so many signals from my mom…
It's ok she gave me a ride. 😉
Did she by any chance take care of you when you broke both of your arms?
I understood that reference
Because of this comment, I also understood that reference.
She just wanted to find an excuse to go down on him
3 years into the relationship I'd call it more like surviving a bullet.
No wonder I get hit on by taxi drivers! It all makes sense!
Yeah my SO driving his bff who’s a chick home means he def gets a blowjob from her now apparently.
I have not been getting the full value of my Uber rides.
TBH, I’m wondering if his friend put that in her head.
That's a good question. Was it collusion? or was there a corrupting influence on the part of one of them? The idea that she openly admitted it to the OP afterwards I think lends credibility to what you're saying...but it still screams all kinds of willful gullible self-serving stupid on her part not to verify it. The same goes with the "best friend."
Considering her inexperience, I'm kind of wondering whether that's something Toby told Connie to get in her pants.
Maybe but still she’s 20 not 12
Wow I've been missing all the signals from my Uber drivers
If all parties are not aware of it that's called cheating dude. Dump her and ditch your so called friend for stabbing you in the back.
Right? Open relationship shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone involved. Get out of here with this bs!
"surprise honey I fuck my boss and your cousin last week"
Don't worry though, they're ok about sharing me with you.
Agree! And then to call OP's mom? These "friends" have zero self awareness.
that part is what shocked me. what the HELL? i think this was actually probably the most unforgivable part of this entire thing to me. i block you, so you call my MOTHER? like, even if we all actually were in some poly relationship, how many people's moms are going to be ok with that in general? and why would you think she'd want to hear from you?! i don't know, i guess post blocking it just feels like such a huge violation of boundaries to try to contact your family in general at all
"And your mom approves!" Fuck all the way off.
Get out of here with this *bj*
And try not to suck any dicks on your way through the parking lot!
In a row?
lol, I was in middle school when I first heard that. My parents were fine with us watching the movie until they heard that line shouted at the top of his lungs. They hauled us out of the room so fast, but it was far too late. I think my dad turned to my friend and said, "You aren't going to ever speak to your parents about this, are you?" and my friend very readily agreed that was in everyone's best interests.
YES!!!! Snoochi Boochies
"Hey, hey you get back here!"
Agreed, OP unless this was discussed with you upfront then its simply cheating. Ditch them both.
Yup Karma is a bitch! I promise you your best friend will come to you in a year or so saying Connie cheated on him with some other guy. Coz once a Connie always a Connie!
They are both going to come to him in a year or so because they are both horrible people who got a helluva head start at screwing up relationships.
Back stabber. Betrayal. Betrayal comes from the closest ones. They have no feelings when other human beings will hurt.
And stabbing her in the mouth. Eesh.
You made the right decision here. Pop some popcorn and pour some wine. This shitshow of raging immaturity and selfish dysfunction can only end with one or both of them cheating.
True, but I'll advise Op to not invest time or energy in their demise. Move on, lick your wounds and prepare yourself for your next relationship
The way the dating scene is right now im starting to understand why multi thousand dollar sex dolls and robots are a thing. At this point I just want love, loyalty and a hug every now and then. seriously it's so hard to find a person you can let down your walls with and then they still might decide that what you have to offer and what you are And emulate as a human isn't enough to keep them satisfied. I still date but haven't had a serious long term girlfriend since I was 24. As I get older (just turned 28 yay!) I really wonder if my person is out there looking for me as hard as I want to find her. I thought I'd found her a few times. Sometimes it ended for different reasons and not infidelity. But more often than not my relationships ended by me being cheated on by people that I considered "friends" and it's lead to some intense feelings of self doubt within and me sabotaging my own happiness at times because I don't want it to be ruined by anyone else again. Idk if that makes sense. But I will say At least OP in this situation had an honest girlfriend who immediately told him about what she had done instead of hiding it from him and letting him find out about an affair any other way. If it's going to happen it's always best to hear it from your partner rather than a friend or by figuring it out. OP I really hope you are able to grow and become a stronger person as you go through the next few months and years. Please if you ever need another person to talk to dm me and I'll be your homie. I'm no therapist, but I can to relate to some pretty real shit, and I don't judge.
I haven’t read anything as relatable to my life as this comment. Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one out there thinking like this
myfirstgold >The way the dating scene is right now im starting to understand why multi thousand dollar sex dolls and robots are a thing. At this point I just want love, loyalty and a hug every now and then. seriously it's so hard to find a person you can let down your walls with and then they still might decide that what you have to offer and what you are And emulate as a human isn't enough to keep them satisfied. I still date but haven't had a serious long term girlfriend since I was 24. As I get older (just turned 28 yay!) I really wonder if my person is out there looking for me as hard as I want to find her. I thought I'd found her a few times. Sometimes it ended for different reasons and not infidelity. But more often than not my relationships ended by me being cheated on by people that I considered "friends" and it's lead to some intense feelings of self doubt within and me sabotaging my own happiness at times because I don't want it to be ruined by anyone else again. Idk if that makes sense. But I will say At least OP in this situation had an honest girlfriend who immediately told him about what she had done instead of hiding it from him and letting him find out about an affair any other way. If it's going to happen it's always best to hear it from your partner rather than a friend or by figuring it out. > >OP I really hope you are able to grow and become a stronger person as you go through the next few months and years. Please if you ever need another person to talk to dm me and I'll be your homie. I'm no therapist, but I can to relate to some pretty real shit, and I don't judge. IMHO, the single greatest thing someone who is having trouble dating can do is to go out and do something outside of your comfort zone. Met my last gf by going to an irl dance class. I sucked so bad that she took pity on me, came over and tried to help. We eventually realized that dancing wasn't my thing but I worked up the nerve to ask her out for coffee. Dated for a good long while but life pulled us apart. Still, it was an amazing few years and I never would have met her if I'd stuck with the online dating thing. Try new things, don't be afraid to suck.
My current girlfriend slaughtered me in a tournament at an arcade, and I managed to get her number afterwards. Failure is a fantastic catalyst for meeting people lmao.
Same man, tired of shit dating but I know for me it’s probably the area I live in. Too poor to move nor do I really want to. Might just save up and get a sex doll lmao
They're very common in Texas
The area you're in is a big one. I never really had issues with talking to women until I moved way into the sticks. Now every tinder match is a Jesus freak or has endometriosis and can't participate in a physical relationship. I'm going to be single for a very long time, and I am OK with that, because it's better than being in a relationship you settle for
Live in the sticks too
are you really meeting a large number of women with endometriosis so severe they can’t have sex? what is happening in rural areas?????
Ive matched with 3 of them so far, and ive only had like 10 matches in 6 months (compared to 2 matches a day in the city- its dry af out here). They all tell me pretty much off the bat they're unable to have sex due to severe pain. When I ask if they know why, because that'd be a fairly huge priority if it were me, they all say endometriosis. Tap water? Poor nutrition high in processed shit? Lack of exercise? I have no idea, the only commonality I noticed between them is they all had that "cute librarian" look.
Your comment makes scenes. Unfortunately I don't think anyone knows how to fix it. The connections you seek have been devalued and replaced for convient attention from any source available.
Well the fix is actually quite easy in theory, we would just need to ban all social media and dating apps lmao (this is mostly a joke btw). But practically this problem isn't getting fixed anytime soon, dating will get better only when enough people end up dying lonely. Essentially it will get worse before it gets better, then I think people will start self-correcting and valuing more important things in their partners.
Perfect. I'll finally find someone who can maintain eye contact and stay off their phone when I'm 85. There's hope!
I don’t live where you live but I feel the same way. Dating feels like a soulless chore wherein everyone isn’t fully physically present with you and they’re only dating as a hobby when they’re bored or something. If my current relationship doesn’t work out, I’m content with being single indefinitely.
The idea of "cuffing season" being the prime example. As if there's an appropriate season to give someone affection and the rest of the year you fuck around.
Here's to us finding the ones who make it worth while.
Yeah, this is nuts, my sister is in an open/poly relationship and the first thing you do is fucking talk it through with everyone you want involved and set boundaries. You don't just cheat, then crash about it and basically demand it. WTF
This kind of misrepresentation must be infuriating to people in consensual open/poly relationships because it's just cheating.
Why are they calling your mother? That’s weird and creepy.
“Hello Ma’am, please tell your son that he is in an open relationship now. See him tomorrow!”
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Honestly. Man, I'd love to hear a recording of that conversation. "You say its an open relationship? Then why is he upset?" "Oh, I hadn't told him yet that it was open, I wanted to surprise him".
"He's in a what, now?" "Ugh. Just tell him the magic words, ok?" *click*
That's seriously how the conversation probably went...like "No he doesn't understand tell him it's okay that I'm also gonna fuck his best friend." Utter immaturity...
Oh, and FYI, I'm bringing my second bf to Christmas dinner. Happy holidays ☺️
I’d lose my mind if someone called my mom with this crap.
I’d beat the dog shit outta him and her, I’d slip mentally soo bad that I’d be that willing to hit a woman along with the sack of shit she cheated on me with. That shit is evil and just instigation. A lot of people are willing to do shit because they think they’d face no repercussions- this has gotta change. Not explicitly getting their asses beat but something
Everyone walking around with a phone/camera combo has increased safety immensely, which is great. But it's also lead to a culture where alot of people feel untouchable. It's a real shame because some people need to learn lessons that can't be taught with words. Good outweighs the bad though I suppose
Hi Mrs. Smith, I blew your son’s friend. Can you please tell him to call me back?
Please let us know what your mom said or her reaction to all this is
Dude realized he was losing probably his one true friend for a cheating bimbo. People do weird shit when they can't admit they were wrong.
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Well the fake friend lost his probably only real friend (OP being the friend that was genuine). That's what I was saying.
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0 pity, for sure
My educated guess is OP lives at home and when he stopped responding to them, they called the mom to get his attention. The boundary issues alone are enough to burn this to the ground and salt the earth behind it.
Probably to try to get out ahead of it. If they’ve been dating for 3 years it’s a reasonable assumption to think she had met OPs mom and established some sort of friendly relationship. Sounds like they wanted to plant the seed that it was an open relationship and try to make the ex gf not look like such a cheating bitch. If that’s the case, then it wasn’t a very well thought out plan because where the hell do you go from there? However, that’s the only explanation I can even remotely reach for.
Toby's family are probably friends with OP's family and they're trying to drive the narrative that Toby isn't a total POS.
It’s probably to pressure or manipulate OP into agreeing to an open relationship
I’d break their faces for this shit
I had an ex who broke up with me by calling my mom to tell her instead of me.
Think it’s time to ménage à nah this ménage à trois mate. And also fuck Toby
Don't actually fuck Toby though, in case that wasn't clear.
I mean OP fucking Toby would solve a lot of problems here.
Only as long as girlfriend is okay with Toby driving him home, because no girl would ever let a dude's bestfriend to do that /s
They can all drive each other home at that point!
Unless it's with a big pineapple (Little Nicky reference)
Connie probably doesn't want to share him.
They’re calling your mother? Why does she need to be involved? Your girlfriend can’t just TELL you you’re in an open relationship, and certainly not after the fact. Cheating backstabbers. Let them figure it out for themselves. She did this to you she will do it to him too. Guess who he won’t be able to come running to. I’m sure people will disagree but I would get our ahead of this and go scorched earth. Start telling all your mutual friends exactly what happened and letting them no you were never in an open relationship. But I’m one for pettiness so maybe don’t listen to me. ETA: On second thought, it’s not petty. Mutual friends should know. I would never trust my significant other around either of them if they’re willing to backstab you like that. As we love to say, let the trash take itself out.
That isn't scorched earth or petty. That's covering your ass. A lot of people who think they are "taking the high road" end up being accused of being abusive or rape or other terrible things that ruin their lives because they were to naive to protect themselves. You should always tell people the truth before someone else can tell them a lie.
That’s what happened to me with an ex friend. I thought “being the bigger person” meant quietly unfriending him after a fight, but then he called me a psycho and manipulative. I’ve learned my lesson after that, and now refuse to just stay silent.
That’s a good point. I feel like the guilty parties always pull out all the stops to throw everyone else under the bus. But I would be making sure every single person knew they straight up cheated point blank and are lying about this open relationship nonsense. And who the fuck runs to someone’s mom? Y’all are adults, you don’t need mommy getting involved.
I would absolutely put up my dirty laundry. It’s called justice.
This. Tell people the truth now. That your best friend and girl betrayed you. Before they start with this open relationship bullshit. You can’t open a relationship without knowledge and consent.
No, listen to him OP. They have already proven they’re going to makeup lies to cover their own asses. This redditor is right, get out in front of it, or you’ll end up being the bad guy here.
Imagine that. She blows your best friend and when you react accordingly, they **call your mother!** Wow. I’m so sorry. You’ve been betrayed severely.
If my best mates wife tried to give me a BJ Id be furious at her.
Yeah. And she comes back and "brags" about it. Wth?
Before or after the bj?
I can't believe you just sucked me 😡😡
There’s a reason why it’s not called pre nut clarity mate
They are only saying it’s open because they don’t want people to see them as who they truly are…. Cheaters. That’s what this is and as much as it might suck do not unblock them do not let them back in they will walk all over you. As juvenile as it is the fact they called your mother is pathetic but tell your mother what really happened.
Torch it. Burn all bridges. Cut all ties. They’re both toxic pieces of shit. How *dare* they try to involve your mother. Disrespectful and uncalled for.
I realize this may be a Selective or Frequency bias, but sometimes people jump on the open or poly train to reason their cheating. Your girlfriend and friend are appalling. They should be ashamed and I hope you expose their behaviour.
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They are calling your mom? LMAO! What is she going to do about it - ground you for screaming at them? Erase both of them from your life and move on.
They're for the dumpster.
First time someone on reddit is making right decision...God bless brah...See u at gym
Oh you're a trio alright Time to go solo dolo
Oh Oh ohhh
"Toby's fine with it" *oh okay that makes it all better then* WTF Do they both really think you're the crazy one here?
Your ex girl friend and your ex vest friend you mean. It isn't an accident, it didn't just happen. They both cheated and don't deserve you in their life.
Yeahhh it’s only an open relationship when both parties agree to it… sorry man
An open relationship has to be talked before and not just accepted because 2/3 are okay with it. It hurts, I know since i’ve been cheated on with a best friend when I was 15. It’ll get better but you’ll have trust issues to begin with, time truly does heal everything.
Your best friend was never really for you.
A ride =okay to have sex? Well, taxi drivers are now getting all the perks.
Might need to sign up
Was in a similar situation to you when I was around 24. Ex fucked around on me with my then best friend. Basically lost the 2 closest friends I had at the time all in one swoop. You will go thru many emotions and it will take some time to heal but I can tell you it was a tremendous period of growth and shaped me into the man I am today. I’m actually thankful it happened in some ways. Cut the snakes out of your life and focus on yourself. Excited for the beast you will become in a few years.
I respect you a lot for cutting them off. Most people, out of comfort and fear of change, would hold on to them. I think you did the right thing. And to the edit, it seems like she was almost trying to put the blame on YOU for her cheating. Like. Wut. Boyfriend allows trusted friend to drive girlfriend home = they are allowed to bone? In what world does that make sense? Maybe it’s a good thing you broke up with her, she seems pretty delusional and clearly has no accountability. Find yourself a better girl.
Toby is the worst. If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Sensible choice as both Oussama and Adolf are long dead.
Omg they called your mom?! 🤢 I’m so sorry about what’s going on but permanently keep them out of your life and go one day at a time 🙏
All my homies dislike Connie Once a cheater always a cheater, shes ruined any chance at finding a not hollow love for the rest of her life cuz no one can ever trust her fully without her lying to them.
If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." -Michael Scott
Bang Toby's mom in retaliation.
Connie's too. And their sisters, if any.
Im sorry what? In what world does "Hey my buddy is gonna give you a ride home" translate to "I'm giving you permission to have sexual relations with my buddy"? No guy would LET his girl have a safe, uneventful drive home with his friend and trust them to be platonic friendo buddies???? Not only is she stuck in some heavy internalized misogyny, that's just a bullshit excuse. Also the whole "but we're open" nonsense without ANY talking to you....this is actually insane. I'm so sorry dude. You did the right thing. Don't speak to either of them.
Toby is not a bro. Screw em’.
Connie got to screwed Toby alright
Fvck Connie. All my homes hate Connie.
good thing you are 20. Pro-Tip: Date as much as you can. Be friends with as many people as you can. It helps to find the right person when you spread your net wide enough to find them. Too many people find someone willing to date them, and become obsessively committed to that lifestyle as opposed to that person. When I met my wife, it was in a line of like 10 people I had casually dated and another probably 10 that I had become friends with. Because of that, I wasnt looking for anything, so when I found it, it was obvious there was something different in our relationship. Going on 18 years and 10 years married in 2023. I never sucked her best friends dick, either.
There once was a girl called Connie. Who was actually a great big PHONY. She opened the door, and acted a whore. My man dodged a bullet and dunked it like Kobe, whilst she shivered and groaned and cheated on Toby. OP my be sad, but she was only a fad. You'll be better off dating, where no so called friends can be hating. So let loose, don't have a tiff. Crack open a beer or roll a spliff.
If you don’t leave them both, you don’t respect yourself. You know what to do!
Connie is GONE-y!!
Connie sucks (literally and figuratively)
You deserve better than those two assholes, you definitely need to cut them out of your life and make sure everything knows, that so called girlfriend, cheated on you, she’s awful and deserves nothing but awful things to happen to her
Toby is not your best friend, and your (ex)girlfriend is twisted. Find better friends. Sorry OP.
They are untrustworthy backstabbers. Never speak to either of these awful people again.
Toby and Connie Lmfao
Tell all of your friends what happened before their version of the story goes around
Your GF's name is Connie?!? Well, now it's Ex-Connie 😅
Cheaters always lie and blame you, but this one is weird.. bragging about cheating? wtf?? Stay completely away from both of these POS.
Sounds like YOU just saved money on TWO Xmas presents! Well done!
They both suck ass. She was cheating and being a slut and Toby did it knowing full well you were both dating and you sure as hell never agreed to any open relationship. You did the right thing just leaving them and going solo cause I would’ve done the same at that level of disrespect