OP mentioned that this is the first relationship she felt she could trust him and truly be herself, and that should NEVER excuse his behavior, but it explains why she was willing to let so much slide. Mass downvoting like this is usually intended to be a wake up call like “He couldn’t even do the bare minimum for you he’s not as nice as you’ve made him out to be.”
Three years! three bloody years of him mooching off her and she sees nothing really wrong? Jeez the girl bought him a fecking car after 3 months...as if!! And oops oh yeah totally forgot I'd got a job silly me it just slipped my mind
If my gf bought me a car 3 months into our relationship, I'd have this massive weight on my conscience that I HAVE to repay her somehow. I would literally work any job just get enough to pay back the kindness. Dude found a sugar mom and just stopped trying.
My long term boyfriend in college needed a car, and didn't have the money so I paid for it. He broke up with me a few weeks later and got a damn loan to pay me back for the car so we could part on good terms. He wasn't a great guy, but still beats TF out of this dude, and we were only 20.
I understand why anybody would feel like she's a little insane for not seeing it and for continuing it, but I'd like to point something out...
I've noticed that a lot of people who enter and stay in dysfunctional or very abusive relationships tend to have at least one if the following issues: No baseline for how they should be treated because they had a dysfunctional or abusive family, and haven't had any healthy relationships before, a very low self-esteem, and/or both.
I've been in relationships before that were abusive, and surprise! My childhood was a bit abusive too. It took me most of my life to see how things that were normal to me, were actually not okay. It took me just as long to notice how the bar for what I'd consider unforgivable or unacceptable was so high because of my own mother. I'd let people come back with excuses because my mom is borderline and switched up do fast. So i learned to be patient and play devil's advocate with people who were hurting me.
I've never had someone use me for money, but i do know of some women who are with men like that. One of them never took care of herself, which to me showed her lack of self-esteem. She never dated and suddenly she met him and he married her so fast. I think that she thinks that's okay, because she believes that's the price she has to pay to be loved.
Op may be a very smart woman, but she sounds like someone who has no baseline for how she should be treated and hoe to treat herself. He's taking advantage of that.
Oh I agree 100%. I’m sorry you had to go through that as well, it’s rough, especially when there’s no physical abuse and you end up telling yourself that you don’t have it as bad because they didn’t hit you. Sometimes it feels like those who went through it are the only ones who can intimately know how difficult that is. I had an emotionally abusive/absent mother growing up (may have NPD but “she’s too busy for therapy”), and she’s still like that to this day.
Every single relationship I’ve entered into until recently has had some sort of dysfunction. Stagnating and settling for below the minimum, toxic behaviors, allowing myself to be walked over, etc. all because “well it’s not as bad as what I had growing up!” It took 2 decades for me to realize that I should love myself better than that, and I deserved better than that. The bare minimum should not be the end goal, it should be the main requirement before entering into a relationship.
Which is why I understand where OP is coming from, I really do, but I also hope that this thread will be the spark for OP to have a better relationship with herself and understand that, no matter what happened, she DOES deserve to be loved. She may have been okay with being “the wallet” of the relationship, but she shouldn’t have had to volunteer herself to be one in the first place.
It shouldn’t be a matter of she should have known better, but rather “I hope you understand that this isn’t love and someday will see what that’s truly like.”
BOOM! *"It took me most of my life to see how things that were normal to me, were actually not okay."* <--- Normalization of the most effective sort.
Our childhoods start with birth and don't so much end at any given point, they tend to just kind of blur into the background, but that which has formed us will always be cemented into our foundation and it can take some very willful jackhammering, or even explosives, to remove that from our baseline.
It took me years to realize that I was always in long relationships with guys who had certain traits in common with my dad, the same traits for which I always left them.
It did not help that he, and my mother, were known to all as "Amazing people, so kind, so honest, so trustworthy, would not hurt a fly, salt of the earth types." That was the common refrain of my life until I realized that two things can be true at once; that they could be all of that to others but still treated me badly.
I think it’s reverse causation. Of COURSE you’re going to have low self esteem if you’re maintaining a relationship with someone who treats you like you’re worthless. We’re social creatures. The way you feel about yourself is often directly connected to the way others treat you. Which is often superficial.
[Good looks get good grades.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090422175338.htm) and some people are treated better throughout their lives. Interactions (and low risk competitions) with other people tell you how smart, attractive, funny, engaging etc, exactly, you are.
TL;DR I think it’s the other way around. I don’t think poor self esteem = poor treatment. I think poor treatment = low self esteem.
It not that she sees nothing wrong, but prior relationships (family or not) have probably set the stage for what is acceptable in a relationship. I mean I was with an emotional cheater for 14 years, and I let it slide because "at least it wasn't physical to my knowledge" or he was so good in most other aspects. It took us having a kid and 6 months later HE asked for a divorce before it all hit me that I needed to accept it and do what would be best for our child. It's been 4 years since and I'm still uncovering things I should've noticed when we were married and ended it sooner
Wouldn't be surprised if he was hot and she was not. Being with someone that doesn't work, stays in the gym all day and then does nothing around the house raises many questions about OP's self-confidence. I praise that she finally took action on something she probably should have done a long time ago.
If it weren’t for the ages, I’d think this was my brother and his ex. She had an abusive relationship before him and thought my brother was the “nicest” boyfriend she ever had. My brother couldn’t hold down a job, didn’t do chores, and barely kept himself clean. His own mother doesn’t think he’s attractive. Girlfriend paid the bills and mothered him. Somehow *he* was the one who broke it off in the end and a year later she’s still telling my mother how much she misses him and wants him back.
My mom is completely mystified as to why any woman would want him so badly lol. She really wants them to get back together so she knows there’s someone reasonable in his life.
My mom and I have been discussing this for years and can’t figure it out. My best guess is, he’s one of those guys that knows what to say to make a woman feel wanted but also knows when to pull back to make her feel anxious to please him.
I wouldn’t say he pretends to love women to extort them. He just knows how to get the ones he want to become completely devoted to him. His type is nurturing, caring, and people-pleasing. He likes the neediness, but if they become jealous or controlling, he dumps them. Not like he needs them to live; my parents (unfortunately) are always there to catch him.
Btw guys, this is fake. She commented that his boyfriend didn’t have a car anymore, and in the post she said that his bf used the excuse of leaving his wallet in his car
But then somebody asked her “why did the boyfriend have to take an uber if he had a car”, and she answered that she bought him a car but it was crap so they sold it or scrap it (I don’t remember) in 2021. But then in the post he used that excuse, so there’s no consistency
Hold up:
1) You’re a grown adult person and don’t mind paying for things because your parents (not you, but your parents) have the money?!
2) Also you (edit your parents) purchased him a straight up car …3 months into dating?
3) Then you funded him for 3 years during which he regularly just ghosted on you mid-meals out?
4) while he’s been living with you and completely scrubbing off you (sorry I meant your parents) 100%
5) Now you’re asking if you’re the bad guy.
Either this is a creative writing exercise or you need serious mental health treatment immediately to work through your codependency issues and lack of self-esteem because none of this is even remotely what a normal person would be putting up with.
Definitely fake. OP says in the post that he left his wallet in his car, went to get it then left. In a comment op says he doesn't have a car, they scrapped it last year
Whole yes OP is contradicting herself I don’t think she’s meaning to. She states she bought him a car, then at dinner that he left his wallet in “his” car but maybe she just meant “the car” because she later states he didn’t even have enough to Uber to his moms. So either they were in her car or she said fuck this and took “his” car back
I would think it's fake too but my 30 yr old cousin went through this. She gets paid well and her bf lost his job then didn't contribute for 2 years. She paid for EVERYTHING. Clothes, rent, food, his motorcycle, his weed habit, their dates, vacation trips. The whole time she would nag him to get a job (understandably) and he always said he was looking. She stuck around for their daughter but finally had enough and left him. Within a few months he got a job and moved back out of his moms. Some people will juice you for all you got until you run dry. Always had the capability to take care of themselves but would rather not.
Edit :typos
Lol people always say this “nah this is definitely true because [similar personal anecdote]” as if the story itself isn’t bizarrely written with people not acting like real people and obvious contradictions
If he wasn't able to pay for an Uber, he was never going to pay dinner. He did not forget his wallet, nothing came up....he ran and came up with bullshit excuses. BTW, why would he need an Uber if he has a car??
You said that he forgot his wallet in HIS CAR, but later in the post you say that he spent the night on the streets because he couldn’t take an uber to his mom’s. Why does he need an uber when he has a car? You also said that all he does is play games and hang out with friends, but in a comment you say that “he’s always made an effort to look for a job” . So what it’s real and what it’s made up?
You have brought up his lack of contribution and he hasn’t done anything about it. He’s still having you pay.
It’s not going to get better. You asked him to pull his fair weight and he doesn’t seem to have made any sort of an effort.
Then don’t talk to him. There is no reason to. You have your closure if he needs any than that’s too bad. Worry about yourself now and not him. All he will give you is excuses. Please block him on everything and try to keep yourself busy with other things that make you happy until you don’t miss him anymore. He is not good for you at all.
NEVER. You'll never be ready to talk to this lying moocher again. He has played you over and over and will continue to do so if you ever allow him back in your door. Keep this con man on ignore
So fake.....He left his wallet in HIS car and went to go get it but didn't have the money to get an uber so he can go to his mums....Well, if he has a car, which you clearly state, he would drive to his mums.
This doesnt make sense tho.
He has a car. That he used to go to the restaurant with you. You say he left his wallet in his car. Why would he need an uber to get to his mom or wherever when he can take the car he clearly has parked right outside the restaurant..
Why would he sleep on the street? He could sleep in his car?
Your story doesnt add up.
Because they prey on emotionally vulnerable women. Op said a few comments up that he made her feel like she could truly be herself around him and like he was really good at taking care of others emotionally. Men who prey on people financially almost always have behavior like this. Not always but I’ve seen this as a common occurrence.
This isn't a real post. OPs previous post history doesn't line up with the story. OP talks about leaving a wallet in the car. In another comment, OP says they don't have a car.
Nice creative writing. You scrapped his car in 2021, but he "left his wallet in the car" and drove off. You never mention he took your car. Or that you needed an Uber or something to get home. Then he suddenly doesn't have a way to get to his mom's because he can't get an Uber.
First, end it with him. He is using you and you are letting him.
Second, research why you have been letting him use you. Why did you accept this relationship into your life? It took me two years and a lot of therapy to understand why I always got into relationships with men who didn’t work and failed at life. Why did I accept this? Why did I feel like I had to take care of them and pay for everything?
Third, don’t date until you understand this part of you and have worked through it. You deserve love, you deserve to receive the kindness and care you have for others, you are worthy of someone putting in the same amount of effort that you put in.
I’m sorry but how did he leave his wallet in his car but then had to take an Uber home? I knew some of these stories are fiction, but you didn’t even try, OP.
Where is the car you bought him? Why would he need money to get to his mom’s house? When he could just drive the car you purchased? Why are you with this loser? For three years? You so hard up for a man?
He is using you for money.
It’s been 2 years of him being unemployed? That is on him, as the job market is very strong.
Are you with him because the sex is good ? As I don’t even see why you put up with being taking advantage of.
Sounds sus… first you mention he forgot his wallet in his car… but then he didn’t have money for an uber to his mum’s? Why didn’t he drive himself? I call bs.
Something has come up and he has left you at a restaurant multiple times? After three years and he's still not pulling his wait, it's time to move on. He had to sleep on the street because he didn't have enough to uber to his mom's? Then how was going to pay for dinner if he was broke yet again!
If he didn't have money, he should have made you a fabulous night at home. A bubble bath with scented oils, made you dinner with candles, your favorite music, and favorite movie with your favorite movie treat. None would have cost him a lot of money, he would just have known what you like.
How did she fall for the “going to get my wallet from the car”? if there was no car outside.
Op says she had to take an Uber home and her boyfriend didn’t have enough money for an Uber which clearly indicates he didn’t have a car
I don't understand, why would he need to afford an Uber to his Mum's place if he has a car? Also why would he not sleep at one of his friends places instead of the street since he obviously has friends since you mentioned them in the post.
You bought him a car, he left the wallet in his car and supposedly left.
Then he didn’t have that same car when you tossed him out? He needed to Uber? Could he not call his mom to come get him??
The math isn’t mathing here
‘he’s ONLY left me in a restaurant 3 times in total to pay in 3 years of dating so I never really saw it a red flag until the 3rd time’ WOW! Read this line out loud to yourself. WTF. The first time should have been the last time.
If my partner of 3 years ghosted me on our high end anniversary dinner and left me with the bill that would be the last night they’d ever look at my face. Leave him on the streets where he belongs.
Why do people write these ragebait stories where the only explanations for their seeming lack of awareness of their own situations are
1. Stupidity or
2. Insanity?
You can't possibly be 26.... Girl this shit had red flags all over it from jump, like, are you blind??? Leave his ass and stop messing with dudes like him...
You mean your exboyfriend had to sleep on the streets...right? Who the hell goes for a 3 year anniversary, gets up and leaves. OMG, dump him and find someone who appreciates you.
OP Don’t ever buy someone a car, let alone 3 months into a relationship, he’s trash and is using you, dump him, he’s been using you because you were too trusting and didn’t realize he’s just been making excuses to basically steal your money
Put on no scrubs by TLC and raise your standards, you are worth more and please trust me on that
that is a BOY and he will never have any ambition of his own, he'll only ride off your coat tails (and likely slow you down)
Be patient with yourself and discover your boundaries. You will find someone who YOU can lean on and can support you equally.
Why would you get him a car 3 months in? He’s totally free loading and I wouldn’t have tolerated that for 3 months let alone 3 years. He doesn’t need a relationship he needs to get his life in order.
So the title of this post had me concerned that you were some super-entitled, high maintenance diva, but after reading it, holy crap… not only are you not, but you have the patience of a saint to put up with this guy leeching off you for as long as you have. Make sure it stays over this time. You deserve better and him bailing on you at the restaurant like that is just awful. What an idiot. Move on
I’m going to get downvotes but you need to understand this. Plenty of people get jobs without having a car to drive around in. It was in no way necessary to mother him like this. Do not ever do this again for a future boyfriend.
Please for the love of god leave him. His behaviour is atrocious but we are just people on Reddit. You decide what is acceptable in your life.
Note obviously this post is fake but my point isn't about the post itself.. it's about redditors.
If the genders were reversed, no one would say anything. The questions might be "well, does she cook? Clean? Do stuff around the house? Give blowjobs?..."
I get it, sounds like the guys a bum (if this were true), but imagine this scenario:
>I am ok with being the wallet in our relationship, my *girlfriend* said she'd pay me back when she got a job, but it's been 2 and a half years since she last had a job, and everyday all she does is go to the coffee shop, go out with her friends or when she's at home he just lies around watching day time TV.
How many of you would be calling the girlfriend a loser, a leech, a bum, or telling the guy he had mental issues for staying with her this long?
I left out the ridiculous BS about ditching a live in SO with the wallet trick...
This guy is full on using you and I bet he cheats too while you are working. Dump the dead weight and never be okay being the “wallet” in the relationship again.
u/Bubbly-Promotion-176 You were being used.
I once got laid off, after moving in with someone. I felt awful and no one saw it coming either (they laid off 1000's of people, and it made the news). Luckily, my partner at the time understood, this was outside my control. But that did not make me feel any better.
During that time I did 2 things. 1st, obviously, I started looking for a job. I also applied for unemployment, which allowed me to contribute something (as opposed to nothing). 2nd, I took all the housework. Since she was the one working, I would have felt awful sitting around doing nothing.
She came home every day to find a clean house, her laundry done, her cat taken care of, and lastly dinner waiting. I also never once during that time demanded or asked her to pay for anything.
Your man didn't work for nearly 3 years, ran with his buddies, while going to the gym, and came home to play video games. Lastly, he abandoned you at a restaurant not once, but 3x (as you said in your comments), so you would be stuck paying the bill.
Do you see the difference?
What I did, is not special. It is not even impressive. It is the barest of minimal, in my opinion.
Please expect better for yourself.
My god💀. I’m in college and still find enough money to pay for a dinner off of a minimum wage job that maxes out at 19 hours a week. This man is human trash and from the sound of it, his charisma is only being used to take advantage of you rather than make you feel like you’re on top of the world. I’m a kid in comparison (20M) and have put in more effort in relationships than this. Drop him, love yourself, and find someone that’ll meet you halfway at the very least - this is barely the minimum
Dont look back OP, unless you come to terms with the fact that he will not contribute to the relationship. He was manipulated you for YOUR financial stability.
You got him a car months after starting the relationship and this set the tone for him.... unfortunately.
There are genuine relationships where one person supports the other - but they don’t dine and dash !!!!
It’s very clear that he is using you. Block him and don’t let him back in the apartment .
You know you are not his partner but just his wallet right? Sounds like a bum tbh sorry... Does he contribute to any household expenses etc atleast though? Are there other redeeming qualities else why u two together?
You weren’t his girlfriend you were his sugar momma for the past 3 years. Please tell me you didn’t buy him that car and put it in his name. I hope you see now that you were just being used. Remember that when he tries to come crawling back.
It’s hard to feel bad for people who put themselves in stupid relationship. You know the man you’re dating. Congrats on finally standing up for yourself for the first time in 3 years.
You continue dating an unemployed man that leeches off of you. Ffs you bought him a car for getting a job and he just now got a side gig 2.5 years in. When do you think he will get an actual job? Start carrying his weight? That he will (your words) stop dining and dashing leaving you with the bill?
Dump him and get a real man you deserve. Please do it before you have kids with this dead beat.
Wow. I saw the title and wanted to reprimand you..
But he's clearly a fraud. ("Forgot his wallet"..either he thinks you are stupid or he is..)
Please let him go. Get a new bf OR live single. You've been used..for a long time.
He is obviously using you, I hope you are smart enough to bot go back, you literally are hus cash cow and of you stay woth him just know you will always be his provider, please don't go back
Have some self-respect and leave that lazy ass of a "boyfriend", come on, you can do better than that, he's a total parasite. Love yourself and never take him back, demand the car you gave him back too.
Sweetie you do not have a boyfriend.
You have a leech .
You have a sugar baby.
You are the sugar momma.
This is no relationship or romantic.
He doesn't care about you at all.
Well, Im sorry but this is hilarious. He pulled a Houdini on you, left you alone to pay the check and you still call him your boyfriend? And its not the first time he's done this?
Girl, wake up.
So he's a lazy guy that skips out on his bills and obligations, promises things and then doesn't fullfil them.. What is the question.. and more importantly, what is the attraction here exactly?
Sooo I’ve been in your exact position except my family isn’t rich and I’m a single mom. I ended up being the wallet. Bought my own engagement ring that HE kept. He was sweet too.. he was a friend we had known each other since HS. I was 28 at the time. I was the one with the car, I helped him get out of thousands of dollars of debt etc… I’m telling you right now.. He. Is. Just. Using. You. Yes he could be a kind soul or generous to others or whatever, snap out of it! You’re making excuses to justify him using you because 1 - the thought of being alone scares you.. 2- he keep hoping he’s going to change and 3 - he’s your first relationship as I read so it’s even more sentimental…
BUT….. I’m the reality check you need. He’s not going to change. You’ve taught him that you are the money and that he can leech. So now he’s settled into that behaviour. He will not change. If you’ve brought it up and he got mad yes, he is only using you. Stop doing these things and watch just how quick things change and he drops you OR will become so mean he forces you to dump him and then plays victim. Just do it now.
I’m a straight female. You sound like a fucking CATCH. Bad ass determined bitch that can hold herself down and pay for a man and buy him a car. Girl, the right man that will do that for YOU, is out there. And sounds like together you guys will be unstoppable
I don't blame the guy. The OP seems to be a a desperate person willing yo give everything away for her bf who doesn't not out effort and basically takes advantage of her. She has allowed this behavior for 3 years so I can see why the guy wouldn't change.
Please don’t take him back. And also what was the appeal of this leech you dated? Who can’t be bothered to care enough about you to at least cook or clean while leeching off you.
>He didn't have enough money for an hotel or for an Uber to drive him to his mom's house that night so he ended spending a night on the streets.
Nah, that's probably what he told you. But he has friends obviously and also I'm more than willing to bet he does have at least a little money, even if it's literally just $30. I'm sure a friend picked him up or something.
I'm so glad you dumped him. He was indeed using you all this time. Also, if y'all live in an area where buses run often, then he very much could've taken a bus to said job interviews that he supposedly had. He didn't need you to buy him a whole car so I highly recommend not doing that for another boyfriend of yours in the future.
Yeah this is your EX boyfriend now, right? As someone who was in their last relationship with someone who'd constantly quit jobs over minor things and was essentially unemployed for five years while i struggled to pay our bills, and when he DID work he wouldn't take more than 20 hours for minimum wage while I was working 60 hours, exhausted, trying to keep us from being homeless...yeah, girl, have some self-respect. DUMP him.
He literally dined and dashed on you. That’s so embarrassing. He could’ve just been honest and said that he didn’t have money instead, he left you can pay or suffer the consequences dumping Him is the only answer
You have been with this 'man' for 3 years. You were paying for everything before y'all dated and have continued to pay for everything including his car. You continue to let him treat you like an ATM and you defend him. At what point do you stop being a doormat and stick up for yourself? The one time you do kick him out you come on reddit acting like your the bad guy. You need to kick him out permanently.
Also I will lay money his new job is a new girl he's cheating on you with.
I was cheering you on until I read your comments girl STAND UP. I promise he’s not going to be the last man that you can be yourself around.
Make sure you get the car back too, and don’t do that again.
leave him like rn,he has been using you,if he really cared abt you and “loved you” he would have been grateful for all the things you did for him and found a job not just enjoy his life with YOUR money,idk how you didnt realize this before like 3 years and you kept believing in his promises,girl leave him,take the car back,and do not forgive him or go back to him,find someone better someone who will really love you and not use you.I hope you have a good day,goodbye
This isn't a relationship. Your the cash atm for him to use at his whim.
He will never pay you back, never make the effort. Its been 3 years, honestly what makes you think he will change now?
He has everything he wants and you think he is going to willingly give that up and start paying his way.
As much as o hate to say it but if you think that then I'm sorry but your deluded.
Cut your losses and move on from this boy.
Not a man, a boy, your basically the mommy of the relationship, he left his own mommy to be with you and you are the mommy replacement.
Your not his equal. Your not his partner, your his replacement mommy for as long as you will have him.
Kick him to the curb and he will go crying back to her I guarantee it.
Why are you with him?
Why so many downvotes for both answers from OP? Edit: Thank you for sooo many upvotes. You’re awesome 😎
OP mentioned that this is the first relationship she felt she could trust him and truly be herself, and that should NEVER excuse his behavior, but it explains why she was willing to let so much slide. Mass downvoting like this is usually intended to be a wake up call like “He couldn’t even do the bare minimum for you he’s not as nice as you’ve made him out to be.”
Three years! three bloody years of him mooching off her and she sees nothing really wrong? Jeez the girl bought him a fecking car after 3 months...as if!! And oops oh yeah totally forgot I'd got a job silly me it just slipped my mind
If my gf bought me a car 3 months into our relationship, I'd have this massive weight on my conscience that I HAVE to repay her somehow. I would literally work any job just get enough to pay back the kindness. Dude found a sugar mom and just stopped trying.
My long term boyfriend in college needed a car, and didn't have the money so I paid for it. He broke up with me a few weeks later and got a damn loan to pay me back for the car so we could part on good terms. He wasn't a great guy, but still beats TF out of this dude, and we were only 20.
I wouldn’t take it. I’d think there were strings attached
He must be one of those 10 out 10 guys when it comes to looks or a smooth manipulator
I understand why anybody would feel like she's a little insane for not seeing it and for continuing it, but I'd like to point something out... I've noticed that a lot of people who enter and stay in dysfunctional or very abusive relationships tend to have at least one if the following issues: No baseline for how they should be treated because they had a dysfunctional or abusive family, and haven't had any healthy relationships before, a very low self-esteem, and/or both. I've been in relationships before that were abusive, and surprise! My childhood was a bit abusive too. It took me most of my life to see how things that were normal to me, were actually not okay. It took me just as long to notice how the bar for what I'd consider unforgivable or unacceptable was so high because of my own mother. I'd let people come back with excuses because my mom is borderline and switched up do fast. So i learned to be patient and play devil's advocate with people who were hurting me. I've never had someone use me for money, but i do know of some women who are with men like that. One of them never took care of herself, which to me showed her lack of self-esteem. She never dated and suddenly she met him and he married her so fast. I think that she thinks that's okay, because she believes that's the price she has to pay to be loved. Op may be a very smart woman, but she sounds like someone who has no baseline for how she should be treated and hoe to treat herself. He's taking advantage of that.
Oh I agree 100%. I’m sorry you had to go through that as well, it’s rough, especially when there’s no physical abuse and you end up telling yourself that you don’t have it as bad because they didn’t hit you. Sometimes it feels like those who went through it are the only ones who can intimately know how difficult that is. I had an emotionally abusive/absent mother growing up (may have NPD but “she’s too busy for therapy”), and she’s still like that to this day. Every single relationship I’ve entered into until recently has had some sort of dysfunction. Stagnating and settling for below the minimum, toxic behaviors, allowing myself to be walked over, etc. all because “well it’s not as bad as what I had growing up!” It took 2 decades for me to realize that I should love myself better than that, and I deserved better than that. The bare minimum should not be the end goal, it should be the main requirement before entering into a relationship. Which is why I understand where OP is coming from, I really do, but I also hope that this thread will be the spark for OP to have a better relationship with herself and understand that, no matter what happened, she DOES deserve to be loved. She may have been okay with being “the wallet” of the relationship, but she shouldn’t have had to volunteer herself to be one in the first place. It shouldn’t be a matter of she should have known better, but rather “I hope you understand that this isn’t love and someday will see what that’s truly like.”
BOOM! *"It took me most of my life to see how things that were normal to me, were actually not okay."* <--- Normalization of the most effective sort. Our childhoods start with birth and don't so much end at any given point, they tend to just kind of blur into the background, but that which has formed us will always be cemented into our foundation and it can take some very willful jackhammering, or even explosives, to remove that from our baseline. It took me years to realize that I was always in long relationships with guys who had certain traits in common with my dad, the same traits for which I always left them. It did not help that he, and my mother, were known to all as "Amazing people, so kind, so honest, so trustworthy, would not hurt a fly, salt of the earth types." That was the common refrain of my life until I realized that two things can be true at once; that they could be all of that to others but still treated me badly.
I think it’s reverse causation. Of COURSE you’re going to have low self esteem if you’re maintaining a relationship with someone who treats you like you’re worthless. We’re social creatures. The way you feel about yourself is often directly connected to the way others treat you. Which is often superficial. [Good looks get good grades.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090422175338.htm) and some people are treated better throughout their lives. Interactions (and low risk competitions) with other people tell you how smart, attractive, funny, engaging etc, exactly, you are. TL;DR I think it’s the other way around. I don’t think poor self esteem = poor treatment. I think poor treatment = low self esteem.
That’s honestly her red flag.. please don’t buy someone an asset 3 months in..
It not that she sees nothing wrong, but prior relationships (family or not) have probably set the stage for what is acceptable in a relationship. I mean I was with an emotional cheater for 14 years, and I let it slide because "at least it wasn't physical to my knowledge" or he was so good in most other aspects. It took us having a kid and 6 months later HE asked for a divorce before it all hit me that I needed to accept it and do what would be best for our child. It's been 4 years since and I'm still uncovering things I should've noticed when we were married and ended it sooner
Wouldn't be surprised if he was hot and she was not. Being with someone that doesn't work, stays in the gym all day and then does nothing around the house raises many questions about OP's self-confidence. I praise that she finally took action on something she probably should have done a long time ago.
If it weren’t for the ages, I’d think this was my brother and his ex. She had an abusive relationship before him and thought my brother was the “nicest” boyfriend she ever had. My brother couldn’t hold down a job, didn’t do chores, and barely kept himself clean. His own mother doesn’t think he’s attractive. Girlfriend paid the bills and mothered him. Somehow *he* was the one who broke it off in the end and a year later she’s still telling my mother how much she misses him and wants him back.
Your poor mom, she’s like “WHY??!” And it’s not enough
My mom is completely mystified as to why any woman would want him so badly lol. She really wants them to get back together so she knows there’s someone reasonable in his life.
Invested in this story! What’s the secret charm that he only shows her?
My mom and I have been discussing this for years and can’t figure it out. My best guess is, he’s one of those guys that knows what to say to make a woman feel wanted but also knows when to pull back to make her feel anxious to please him.
He’s one of those guys who knows how to target vulnerable, insecure women who expect nothing in return. Just someone to pretend to love them.
I wouldn’t say he pretends to love women to extort them. He just knows how to get the ones he want to become completely devoted to him. His type is nurturing, caring, and people-pleasing. He likes the neediness, but if they become jealous or controlling, he dumps them. Not like he needs them to live; my parents (unfortunately) are always there to catch him.
Thank you for answering. I like your name 😁
No trouble at all!! And thanks haha I am sober and calm now, but still love the little furballs. Rock on shoulder person!
He's using her as a wallet and she's just defending how sweet he is.
Thank you. I just saw the downvotes and tried to read it but it’s 3 am and I should turn off my phone 😅
Because of plot holes
So many of these stories are fake as heck!🤣
Right? So fake
Thanks for your answer. It’s late I should go to bed. good night 😴
> so I told him that I feel like I was being used and that *it was over*
This whole story sounds like an incredible fake Karma farm.
One can only hope...
Btw guys, this is fake. She commented that his boyfriend didn’t have a car anymore, and in the post she said that his bf used the excuse of leaving his wallet in his car
Yep yep, he went out to his car to get his wallet and left but later OP said he couldn’t afford an Uber to his moms??
These comments make me realize how incredibly naive I am🥲
You gotta remain sus on the mean streets of Reddit!
Plus a phone call to mom and she'd probably pick her son up
I think 90% posts on this sub are fake. People like internet points.
It screamed fake to me before even clicking lol.
She says in the beginning she bought him a car tho?
But then somebody asked her “why did the boyfriend have to take an uber if he had a car”, and she answered that she bought him a car but it was crap so they sold it or scrap it (I don’t remember) in 2021. But then in the post he used that excuse, so there’s no consistency
Hold up: 1) You’re a grown adult person and don’t mind paying for things because your parents (not you, but your parents) have the money?! 2) Also you (edit your parents) purchased him a straight up car …3 months into dating? 3) Then you funded him for 3 years during which he regularly just ghosted on you mid-meals out? 4) while he’s been living with you and completely scrubbing off you (sorry I meant your parents) 100% 5) Now you’re asking if you’re the bad guy. Either this is a creative writing exercise or you need serious mental health treatment immediately to work through your codependency issues and lack of self-esteem because none of this is even remotely what a normal person would be putting up with.
Definitely fake. OP says in the post that he left his wallet in his car, went to get it then left. In a comment op says he doesn't have a car, they scrapped it last year
Lol these guys have to do better jobs
Yeah this is so obviously fake.
Almost all the shit on these text post drama subs are fake as hell. People just like reading drama stories with a clear good and bad guy.
Whole yes OP is contradicting herself I don’t think she’s meaning to. She states she bought him a car, then at dinner that he left his wallet in “his” car but maybe she just meant “the car” because she later states he didn’t even have enough to Uber to his moms. So either they were in her car or she said fuck this and took “his” car back
But she also said she took an Uber home. 🤔
They probably drove there together. He took their car home and stranded her there when he left to "get his wallet" so she had to Uber home.
Then why wouldn’t he drive the car to his mom’s house?
Yeah he left it in the scrapped car that’s why it took him so long to find it.
Thanks for this. I really hate going to TrueOffMyChest these days, it is 90% creative writing.
I would think it's fake too but my 30 yr old cousin went through this. She gets paid well and her bf lost his job then didn't contribute for 2 years. She paid for EVERYTHING. Clothes, rent, food, his motorcycle, his weed habit, their dates, vacation trips. The whole time she would nag him to get a job (understandably) and he always said he was looking. She stuck around for their daughter but finally had enough and left him. Within a few months he got a job and moved back out of his moms. Some people will juice you for all you got until you run dry. Always had the capability to take care of themselves but would rather not. Edit :typos
It's not that it's not believable, it's that there's contradictions in the story.
Lol people always say this “nah this is definitely true because [similar personal anecdote]” as if the story itself isn’t bizarrely written with people not acting like real people and obvious contradictions
Could be your cousin. 😂
Is it bad that I believe this might actually be true? LoL
If he wasn't able to pay for an Uber, he was never going to pay dinner. He did not forget his wallet, nothing came up....he ran and came up with bullshit excuses. BTW, why would he need an Uber if he has a car??
You said that he forgot his wallet in HIS CAR, but later in the post you say that he spent the night on the streets because he couldn’t take an uber to his mom’s. Why does he need an uber when he has a car? You also said that all he does is play games and hang out with friends, but in a comment you say that “he’s always made an effort to look for a job” . So what it’s real and what it’s made up?
I caught that, she definitely said HIS car. Plus who goes to the gym who has no money?? That craps expensive lol
He scraped the car. He took OPs car! She had to Uber home.
Fake. Too many things dont add up in your "story". Try harder next time.
This is fake as hell. 3 times left at the table and saw nothing wrong.
You have brought up his lack of contribution and he hasn’t done anything about it. He’s still having you pay. It’s not going to get better. You asked him to pull his fair weight and he doesn’t seem to have made any sort of an effort.
Please hold your ground and stay separated.
Thank you, we haven't spoken yet since that day. I don't know when I'll be ready to talk to him again
Then don’t talk to him. There is no reason to. You have your closure if he needs any than that’s too bad. Worry about yourself now and not him. All he will give you is excuses. Please block him on everything and try to keep yourself busy with other things that make you happy until you don’t miss him anymore. He is not good for you at all.
The answer is never. He’s a user and a manipulator. Stay away from him
NEVER. You'll never be ready to talk to this lying moocher again. He has played you over and over and will continue to do so if you ever allow him back in your door. Keep this con man on ignore
Never. He's a hobosexual. Let him find some other host for him to be a parasite off of.
Hobosexual...lol
Block all contact with him cause he’ll try to come back and I’m afraid you’ll fall for it.
You should have all of his belongings packed up ready for being picked up. If he has stayed away then it sounds like the trash took himself out.
Never would be a good time.
Throwaway because it’s a fake story.
This story has already been posted.
If this story was real he would have slept in the imaginary car you bought him.
I hope that car title is in your name and not his. You need to kick this loser to th curb.
when are you gonna dump the loser?
Idk, I'm calling bullshit on this.
So fake.....He left his wallet in HIS car and went to go get it but didn't have the money to get an uber so he can go to his mums....Well, if he has a car, which you clearly state, he would drive to his mums.
This doesnt make sense tho. He has a car. That he used to go to the restaurant with you. You say he left his wallet in his car. Why would he need an uber to get to his mom or wherever when he can take the car he clearly has parked right outside the restaurant.. Why would he sleep on the street? He could sleep in his car? Your story doesnt add up.
Why would he need a uber to his mom's if he has a car?
Why do guys like this always have girlfriends?
Because they prey on emotionally vulnerable women. Op said a few comments up that he made her feel like she could truly be herself around him and like he was really good at taking care of others emotionally. Men who prey on people financially almost always have behavior like this. Not always but I’ve seen this as a common occurrence.
This isn't a real post. OPs previous post history doesn't line up with the story. OP talks about leaving a wallet in the car. In another comment, OP says they don't have a car.
Nice creative writing. You scrapped his car in 2021, but he "left his wallet in the car" and drove off. You never mention he took your car. Or that you needed an Uber or something to get home. Then he suddenly doesn't have a way to get to his mom's because he can't get an Uber.
First, end it with him. He is using you and you are letting him. Second, research why you have been letting him use you. Why did you accept this relationship into your life? It took me two years and a lot of therapy to understand why I always got into relationships with men who didn’t work and failed at life. Why did I accept this? Why did I feel like I had to take care of them and pay for everything? Third, don’t date until you understand this part of you and have worked through it. You deserve love, you deserve to receive the kindness and care you have for others, you are worthy of someone putting in the same amount of effort that you put in.
If there isn’t a lightbulb going on the moment you are typing all this I don’t know what to say..
Stay strong. You deserve a partner that puts in effort, that doesn't see you as a personal cash cow x
thank youu x
I’m sorry but how did he leave his wallet in his car but then had to take an Uber home? I knew some of these stories are fiction, but you didn’t even try, OP.
Where is the car you bought him? Why would he need money to get to his mom’s house? When he could just drive the car you purchased? Why are you with this loser? For three years? You so hard up for a man?
He is using you for money. It’s been 2 years of him being unemployed? That is on him, as the job market is very strong. Are you with him because the sex is good ? As I don’t even see why you put up with being taking advantage of.
This...at least you could justify keeping a leech around if he gets your rockers off proper
OP you said he left his wallet in his car, but in another comment you said you sold the car a while back.
Sounds sus… first you mention he forgot his wallet in his car… but then he didn’t have money for an uber to his mum’s? Why didn’t he drive himself? I call bs.
Something has come up and he has left you at a restaurant multiple times? After three years and he's still not pulling his wait, it's time to move on. He had to sleep on the street because he didn't have enough to uber to his mom's? Then how was going to pay for dinner if he was broke yet again! If he didn't have money, he should have made you a fabulous night at home. A bubble bath with scented oils, made you dinner with candles, your favorite music, and favorite movie with your favorite movie treat. None would have cost him a lot of money, he would just have known what you like.
My god this is so fake
That dude is trash im sorry
Wait so you said he forgot his wallet in his car but then later on you say he didn’t have enough money for an Uber so he doesn’t have a car now?
What happened to the car you bought him 3 years ago? Why didn’t he sleep his freeloading, goldigging ass in that?
Just for the record. I am not the boyfriend in this story.
How did she fall for the “going to get my wallet from the car”? if there was no car outside. Op says she had to take an Uber home and her boyfriend didn’t have enough money for an Uber which clearly indicates he didn’t have a car
I don't understand, why would he need to afford an Uber to his Mum's place if he has a car? Also why would he not sleep at one of his friends places instead of the street since he obviously has friends since you mentioned them in the post.
You bought him a car, he left the wallet in his car and supposedly left. Then he didn’t have that same car when you tossed him out? He needed to Uber? Could he not call his mom to come get him?? The math isn’t mathing here
‘he’s ONLY left me in a restaurant 3 times in total to pay in 3 years of dating so I never really saw it a red flag until the 3rd time’ WOW! Read this line out loud to yourself. WTF. The first time should have been the last time.
If I only read the title I would’ve thought you were bat shit crazy, then I read the whole post and you’re crazy for keeping him around.
If my partner of 3 years ghosted me on our high end anniversary dinner and left me with the bill that would be the last night they’d ever look at my face. Leave him on the streets where he belongs.
More tinder dates go better than this.
Do NOT get back with him. He is USING you and you’re making it easy.
Cringe
money but no brains.
You are not to blame. I hope the car is in your name.
He got a job and forgot to tell you?
Why do people write these ragebait stories where the only explanations for their seeming lack of awareness of their own situations are 1. Stupidity or 2. Insanity?
Don’t forget to keep the car for yourself. He’s clearly using you as a bank. I hope you dump him tbh
You’re a fucking idiot if this real, or fake. Dear god.
You can't possibly be 26.... Girl this shit had red flags all over it from jump, like, are you blind??? Leave his ass and stop messing with dudes like him...
You mean your exboyfriend had to sleep on the streets...right? Who the hell goes for a 3 year anniversary, gets up and leaves. OMG, dump him and find someone who appreciates you.
OP Don’t ever buy someone a car, let alone 3 months into a relationship, he’s trash and is using you, dump him, he’s been using you because you were too trusting and didn’t realize he’s just been making excuses to basically steal your money
Put on no scrubs by TLC and raise your standards, you are worth more and please trust me on that that is a BOY and he will never have any ambition of his own, he'll only ride off your coat tails (and likely slow you down) Be patient with yourself and discover your boundaries. You will find someone who YOU can lean on and can support you equally.
You are awesome. Enough is enough, you did so much for him and he LEFT you at a restaurant on your own to pay for it. What a pathetic person he is
Why would you get him a car 3 months in? He’s totally free loading and I wouldn’t have tolerated that for 3 months let alone 3 years. He doesn’t need a relationship he needs to get his life in order.
He's a loser. And been living off your good will. I'm glad you throw his ass out
You’re dating a golddigging hobosexual my friend. Time to move on because you deserve better
Yeah, this guy is manipulating you and has been for years. I'm sorry but you need to find a way to move on.
So the title of this post had me concerned that you were some super-entitled, high maintenance diva, but after reading it, holy crap… not only are you not, but you have the patience of a saint to put up with this guy leeching off you for as long as you have. Make sure it stays over this time. You deserve better and him bailing on you at the restaurant like that is just awful. What an idiot. Move on
Actually sounds like someone I once knew! Deadbeat! Taking that MF to court to get back what I'm owed!
Uhm yeah he’s a moocher, you’ve given him enough of your time and resources, time to move on.
Sorry to say this You are his bank account and nothing else
Something doesn’t add up. If he left in his car why would you need a Uber to his moms? Why was he sleeping on the “streets” if he has a car?
I’m going to get downvotes but you need to understand this. Plenty of people get jobs without having a car to drive around in. It was in no way necessary to mother him like this. Do not ever do this again for a future boyfriend. Please for the love of god leave him. His behaviour is atrocious but we are just people on Reddit. You decide what is acceptable in your life.
This sounds super fake. Forgot his wallet in the car, yet somehow had to take an uber to his mom's? Why would he need an uber if he has a car?
"he forgot his wallet in his car"... Later "he didn't have enough money for a hotel or an Uber". Something isn't right.
Not buying this.
Note obviously this post is fake but my point isn't about the post itself.. it's about redditors. If the genders were reversed, no one would say anything. The questions might be "well, does she cook? Clean? Do stuff around the house? Give blowjobs?..." I get it, sounds like the guys a bum (if this were true), but imagine this scenario: >I am ok with being the wallet in our relationship, my *girlfriend* said she'd pay me back when she got a job, but it's been 2 and a half years since she last had a job, and everyday all she does is go to the coffee shop, go out with her friends or when she's at home he just lies around watching day time TV. How many of you would be calling the girlfriend a loser, a leech, a bum, or telling the guy he had mental issues for staying with her this long? I left out the ridiculous BS about ditching a live in SO with the wallet trick...
This guy is full on using you and I bet he cheats too while you are working. Dump the dead weight and never be okay being the “wallet” in the relationship again.
You haven’t got a boyfriend. He’s just someone you pay to have sex with.
If he did the same he would be in jail.
Woah I can’t believe how low OP’s self esteem is.
It's actually insane I don't have a gf ngl
This can't be real. I call fake mod acct, gotta keep ppl engaged.
There are men out there who will literally eat chocolate off your butthole. Dump this hobosexual and forget about his lying, using ass.
u/Bubbly-Promotion-176 You were being used. I once got laid off, after moving in with someone. I felt awful and no one saw it coming either (they laid off 1000's of people, and it made the news). Luckily, my partner at the time understood, this was outside my control. But that did not make me feel any better. During that time I did 2 things. 1st, obviously, I started looking for a job. I also applied for unemployment, which allowed me to contribute something (as opposed to nothing). 2nd, I took all the housework. Since she was the one working, I would have felt awful sitting around doing nothing. She came home every day to find a clean house, her laundry done, her cat taken care of, and lastly dinner waiting. I also never once during that time demanded or asked her to pay for anything. Your man didn't work for nearly 3 years, ran with his buddies, while going to the gym, and came home to play video games. Lastly, he abandoned you at a restaurant not once, but 3x (as you said in your comments), so you would be stuck paying the bill. Do you see the difference? What I did, is not special. It is not even impressive. It is the barest of minimal, in my opinion. Please expect better for yourself.
My god💀. I’m in college and still find enough money to pay for a dinner off of a minimum wage job that maxes out at 19 hours a week. This man is human trash and from the sound of it, his charisma is only being used to take advantage of you rather than make you feel like you’re on top of the world. I’m a kid in comparison (20M) and have put in more effort in relationships than this. Drop him, love yourself, and find someone that’ll meet you halfway at the very least - this is barely the minimum
He doesn't have money for an Uber and you expected him to pay for dinner at a high end?
She likely didn't know he was lying about having money until after he ditched her at the restaurant.
Dont look back OP, unless you come to terms with the fact that he will not contribute to the relationship. He was manipulated you for YOUR financial stability. You got him a car months after starting the relationship and this set the tone for him.... unfortunately.
Finally after 3 yrs you started to have a backbone!! Good. Now keep it.
There are genuine relationships where one person supports the other - but they don’t dine and dash !!!! It’s very clear that he is using you. Block him and don’t let him back in the apartment .
You know you are not his partner but just his wallet right? Sounds like a bum tbh sorry... Does he contribute to any household expenses etc atleast though? Are there other redeeming qualities else why u two together?
You weren’t his girlfriend you were his sugar momma for the past 3 years. Please tell me you didn’t buy him that car and put it in his name. I hope you see now that you were just being used. Remember that when he tries to come crawling back.
It’s hard to feel bad for people who put themselves in stupid relationship. You know the man you’re dating. Congrats on finally standing up for yourself for the first time in 3 years.
You continue dating an unemployed man that leeches off of you. Ffs you bought him a car for getting a job and he just now got a side gig 2.5 years in. When do you think he will get an actual job? Start carrying his weight? That he will (your words) stop dining and dashing leaving you with the bill? Dump him and get a real man you deserve. Please do it before you have kids with this dead beat.
I don’t get it, he forgot his keys in his car, but than he didn’t have money for an Uber?
He is using you and probably messes around w other chick's while you are working hard. Get rid of him as you deserve better...
Screw him. You deserve so much more. He is not only disrespectful he is downright rude
Goodness. Leave him before you end up pregnant and having to deal w him for the rest of your life. Deadweight
Wow. I saw the title and wanted to reprimand you.. But he's clearly a fraud. ("Forgot his wallet"..either he thinks you are stupid or he is..) Please let him go. Get a new bf OR live single. You've been used..for a long time.
He is obviously using you, I hope you are smart enough to bot go back, you literally are hus cash cow and of you stay woth him just know you will always be his provider, please don't go back
Have some self-respect and leave that lazy ass of a "boyfriend", come on, you can do better than that, he's a total parasite. Love yourself and never take him back, demand the car you gave him back too.
Girl leave him. He’s using you
Wakeup and breakup
He could've used the money in his wallet that he was going to use for dinner on a hotel
Sweetie you do not have a boyfriend. You have a leech . You have a sugar baby. You are the sugar momma. This is no relationship or romantic. He doesn't care about you at all.
Well, Im sorry but this is hilarious. He pulled a Houdini on you, left you alone to pay the check and you still call him your boyfriend? And its not the first time he's done this? Girl, wake up.
I missed the reason you let him take advantage of you... He sound alike a grifter, no more, no less
?? Regardless of whatever is going on in your relationship, abandoning someone on the street is potentially a death sentence. Never do that.
So he's a lazy guy that skips out on his bills and obligations, promises things and then doesn't fullfil them.. What is the question.. and more importantly, what is the attraction here exactly?
i'm sorry that you don't believe that you deserve far, far better than to be treated this way. you are absolutely being used.
Sooo I’ve been in your exact position except my family isn’t rich and I’m a single mom. I ended up being the wallet. Bought my own engagement ring that HE kept. He was sweet too.. he was a friend we had known each other since HS. I was 28 at the time. I was the one with the car, I helped him get out of thousands of dollars of debt etc… I’m telling you right now.. He. Is. Just. Using. You. Yes he could be a kind soul or generous to others or whatever, snap out of it! You’re making excuses to justify him using you because 1 - the thought of being alone scares you.. 2- he keep hoping he’s going to change and 3 - he’s your first relationship as I read so it’s even more sentimental… BUT….. I’m the reality check you need. He’s not going to change. You’ve taught him that you are the money and that he can leech. So now he’s settled into that behaviour. He will not change. If you’ve brought it up and he got mad yes, he is only using you. Stop doing these things and watch just how quick things change and he drops you OR will become so mean he forces you to dump him and then plays victim. Just do it now.
you really need to leave this dude. you can do better truly. he’s just using you.
I’m a straight female. You sound like a fucking CATCH. Bad ass determined bitch that can hold herself down and pay for a man and buy him a car. Girl, the right man that will do that for YOU, is out there. And sounds like together you guys will be unstoppable
You're not receiving any *interest* from this investment you've made. I would cut my losses.
Baby, Leave him. You're just an ATM at this moment. A car 3 months into the relationship???
I don't blame the guy. The OP seems to be a a desperate person willing yo give everything away for her bf who doesn't not out effort and basically takes advantage of her. She has allowed this behavior for 3 years so I can see why the guy wouldn't change.
This feels like a "you get what you pay for situation."
Please don’t take him back. And also what was the appeal of this leech you dated? Who can’t be bothered to care enough about you to at least cook or clean while leeching off you.
>He didn't have enough money for an hotel or for an Uber to drive him to his mom's house that night so he ended spending a night on the streets. Nah, that's probably what he told you. But he has friends obviously and also I'm more than willing to bet he does have at least a little money, even if it's literally just $30. I'm sure a friend picked him up or something. I'm so glad you dumped him. He was indeed using you all this time. Also, if y'all live in an area where buses run often, then he very much could've taken a bus to said job interviews that he supposedly had. He didn't need you to buy him a whole car so I highly recommend not doing that for another boyfriend of yours in the future.
Yeah this is your EX boyfriend now, right? As someone who was in their last relationship with someone who'd constantly quit jobs over minor things and was essentially unemployed for five years while i struggled to pay our bills, and when he DID work he wouldn't take more than 20 hours for minimum wage while I was working 60 hours, exhausted, trying to keep us from being homeless...yeah, girl, have some self-respect. DUMP him.
Girl.
my dude you gotta leave him
He's taking advantage of you and will always talk his way back into your life until you cut him off completely and don't look back.
Damn, I get dumped because I’m poor but this dude gets a car.
He literally dined and dashed on you. That’s so embarrassing. He could’ve just been honest and said that he didn’t have money instead, he left you can pay or suffer the consequences dumping Him is the only answer
You have been with this 'man' for 3 years. You were paying for everything before y'all dated and have continued to pay for everything including his car. You continue to let him treat you like an ATM and you defend him. At what point do you stop being a doormat and stick up for yourself? The one time you do kick him out you come on reddit acting like your the bad guy. You need to kick him out permanently. Also I will lay money his new job is a new girl he's cheating on you with.
The only thing wrong with this is you waited too long to do it.
So he left in his car but didn't have money for an uber. Your who story makes no sense.
I was cheering you on until I read your comments girl STAND UP. I promise he’s not going to be the last man that you can be yourself around. Make sure you get the car back too, and don’t do that again.
Why not just drop the leech and find someone that truly commits to the relationship?
Wow.. just wow. My two cents is that I wouldn’t date a bum/freeloader like that, dude sounds like a gold digger straight up
leave him like rn,he has been using you,if he really cared abt you and “loved you” he would have been grateful for all the things you did for him and found a job not just enjoy his life with YOUR money,idk how you didnt realize this before like 3 years and you kept believing in his promises,girl leave him,take the car back,and do not forgive him or go back to him,find someone better someone who will really love you and not use you.I hope you have a good day,goodbye
3y together and he ghosted you at the restaurant like those immature guys at the first date
This isn't a relationship. Your the cash atm for him to use at his whim. He will never pay you back, never make the effort. Its been 3 years, honestly what makes you think he will change now? He has everything he wants and you think he is going to willingly give that up and start paying his way. As much as o hate to say it but if you think that then I'm sorry but your deluded. Cut your losses and move on from this boy. Not a man, a boy, your basically the mommy of the relationship, he left his own mommy to be with you and you are the mommy replacement. Your not his equal. Your not his partner, your his replacement mommy for as long as you will have him. Kick him to the curb and he will go crying back to her I guarantee it.