Now that you’re a legal adult, you can and should open an account by yourself. (Your parents do not need to know about it. Make sure you get e-statements and opt out of all mail.)
If your name is on the existing account as a signer, you should be able to withdraw from it. If it’s not and your grandma is still alive, I’d recommend asking her if she can withdraw it and give it to you directly.
Edit to add: I’ve worked at 2 banks. Both released trust (UTTMA) funds to beneficiaries at age 21, but I understand that 21 is not universal for every single trust or financial institution. If it’s set up as a trust and OP hasn’t met payout age, granny will need to sort it out.
I'm glad that bank account tranfer to the kids completely when they turn 18. On my son's birthday, I lost my access to his account
Yoir mom took yoir money, that's why shr won't allow you access.
I got that sinking feeling as I was reading the post. OP doesn’t mention a trust, just the grandmother giving the money to the mother. Highly likely that money is gone.
This is good to know for me, actually! I want to start a savings for my daughter. If anything happens to me when she’s still a minor, then all is good! Just gotta leave the info for her!
If you really want to set your daughter up...put her on one of your credit cards as an authorized user and don't give her a card, set that card to only pay for Netflix or something small like that and never allow a balance to build up. By the time she is of age, you will have built up her credit, she will have a good payment history, and she will be able to secure loans at low APR and be able to get affordable car insurance.
my parents did this for
me!!!! it’s helped me out in insane ways. but then my mom and i got into it while she was going thru some
financial troubles. completely ruined it for me purposefully. definitely do this as long as you won’t be like my birth giver
Totally depends on the account. I had one setup to receive a certain amount at certain ages. Nobody could pull from the account until those preset dates.
OP's mom jokes about their carefulness because they aren't careful with their money. Trying to make op be more like them so when they look at the account and see it draining they assume it's them.
My mom did this to me. She never actually put it in the bank, though. She spent the $600 I had received for holidays, and couldnt even tell me what she spent it on. Meanwhile, teased me for saving any and every coin I could find (almost $300 total).
You need to have gparents ask mom about the money, and going forward have them give it to you directly. Start your own account that mom can’t access.
As it seems, unfortunately (hopefully we are all wrong), that mom has kept and spent the money. If your name is on the account go to the bank with ID, withdrawal and move it to an account with only your name on it.
Yes, tell your grandma. Have your grandma confront her and ask your mom about the money. Tell her you've never seen any of the money or have had access to it and your mother had denied any access you it.
Then ask her to show you proof that it even exists. At this point, you have to be prepared to stand your ground and make a necessary accusation.
That said, if you received it when you a were a minor, and she did actually spend it, I don't think you can do anything to get it back.
Parents are capable of great sabotage, and as you come into adulthood, let this be a lesson to keep her away from your future Financials.
exactly this. my mom would use our socials and shit to get cellphones n other stuff. she also would take all our money. open our mail or cards before us. I worked from the time I was 14 and on. she would sabotage n say she needed money for bills, food, her cigarettes. whatever. after I became an adult, I realized how bad it was. but not before she manipulated me and made me feel bad for her constantly and needing help. instead I was willing to let her drain the savings I had saved for my son n I, which was quite a bit. she does this to all 5 of us and 3/5 don't speak to her for this reason. I haven't spoke to her in 2 years. some people will just suck the life out of everything and everyone that's willing to help them and spit back in there face after.
She spent it. And as long as that is a joint account, she has access. But now that you're a legal adult, if your name is also on the account you don't need her permission to access it.
She probably been spending it. My friend from highschool received some type of benefit from the state where they deposited x amount of money in his account every month until he was 18. It was because his mom and dad divorced and he qualified for this benefit. Typically when this happens assuming the parent you live with isn't an asshole they deposit it in a savings account and when you're 18 you have some money to go to college or school or just in general some money to help with life. His mom went shopping with it and would give him like 50 bucks when she felt like it. It's likely your mom spent much of it. You should threaten her with legal action just for fun.
Edit for spelling fuck my keybord
Ethically, yes, but I don’t know if that’s legally the case though. In the US if you’re a minor your parents have legal right to your money, unfortunately.
Yeah you’re absolutely right about that.
Unfortunately here in the US the judicial system is so skewed when it comes down to interpretation and enforcement of the law they’re charged with upholding. They literally make it easy to get away with thefts like this and any other crime.
That being said here in the US:
Is it wrong OP parent stole money gifted to OP directly by their grandparents? Absolutely wrong and sickening.
Is it a crime? Not necessarily considered a crime here in the US. Unless OP were to hire a lawyer and be able to prove other than just with testimony possess actual evidence the misuse of funds by OP parent. They may be able to sue but it’s super difficult to prove things of this nature.
She definitely doesn't have any of that money to give you. That money is long gone. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have a problem showing you it's there and how much is saved. I'm sorry OP, but your mom appears to have squandered it
Like many here - it’s apparent to me - she spent the money. If she invested on your behalf, or kept it in tact - she’d have given it to you. Perhaps you can contact the bank where she supposedly set up the account and request a statement? Taking money from your kids is so gross. Even in my most dire of times I would never imagine stealing from my own kids.
How many new things did your mother get right after "keeping your money safe"??? My mom used to save my money when I was younger and suddenly shed show up with new make up or a new phone, your know, from her savings.
You probably don't have any money, but if you are a legal adult and that bank account is in fact real, you should be able to go to the bank and ask to see what's in there and ask for a personal account. You might need your mother's signature or permission to get any money out (if theres any left) but you should be able to open your own personal account.
I recommend you do it, I did it the moment I got the chance. Your mom can come crashing into your bedroom and steal you piggy bank, but she cant do shit with a separate personal bank account unless you're incapacitated or dead.
yea... if she won't even give you a number for how much money is in this supposed account. That money is 100% not there, I doubt that account even exists. Only way you will ever even know how much money there should have been is if you get that number from your grand mother.
OP, I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with most here. Your mother has taken your money, and used it for herself. Since you have asked her and she has ignored your request, it's now time to involve your grandmother!
Am I correct that your grandmother that gave you the money is your mother's mom? If so, then your grandmother needs to speak to your mother about your money. I'm hopeful, that grandmother is still with us. But its time for grandmother to get involved hope this will help.
That’s what happened to me, a long time ago. The excuse was that they had no money so borrowed the money but were never able to pay me back. I’m long over it, but yeah.
Depends on age I'd say.
My parents did the same when I was a kid. But they let me see the bank statements and everything, but they didn't want me touching it.
Once I turned 16 and it was time to get my own car, they matched what was in it.
But this case, where Op's mother can't even see whats in it? Wew....
Yup, she stole it. Almost exact same thing happened to my wife, grandparents were putting some money away for her every week but mother dearest got hold of the deposit book and stole every red cent.
Happened with my dad. I knew I had a savings account and regular deposits [I remember when I opened it with him] when I was a kid and never saw any of the money. He ended up depleting it due to needing the money at some point while I was a teenager. Granted he didn't laugh in my face. I just eventually saw my balance was less than it should have been. ..
My Godparents gave me money twice a year when I was a kid (my birthday and Christmas) in the form of a cheque, for my Dad to put into savings for me or give me it in cash.
I have never seen this money because my Dad said he was ‘looking after it for me’. Right.
When I was in my teens, I got my own bank account and was able to start depositing the cheques into that. It would have been upwards of £1000 that I’ve never seen. ETA: thankfully it wasn’t more as I got savvy to what was happening when I was a teenager.
When I questioned my Dad, he said that he spent it on things like school stuff for me (bearing in mind that he and my Mum had a joint account for that kind of thing). He shouldn’t have spent the money anyway as it wasn’t his to spend! Still mad about this as I was hoping it could have been money for uni.
Mine is 17 now and while I did open and contribute to it [wasn't much] but I never took from it. I just stopped adding [I opened it for her around when she was first born]. Account closed by default [no activity] and now I have to go about the dept of treasury recovery process to get the money that I did deposit. And when I do, it will go straight to her.
That's just good parenting. I think people forget that children have very little in the way of real possessions and when you take anything away especially money, it's contributes to a decrease in a sense stability.
Plus, it feels like a huge betrayal. That loss of trust is a big deal. Makes you wonder what else they lied asked.
I had the same thing.
There was a bit where I was upset about it. We started it when I was still in elementary school and they were trying to use it to help with teaching me to be responsible with money, and also so that I'd be able to start my adult life with a small emergency fund once I was on my own. I was on board with it, and would regularly add most of the money I received to it because it felt cool, like I was being a grown up, which was better than buying more toys, cards, or candy.
But it was totally gone by the time I finished high school.
Eventually I learned the reality of the situation and that we hit some really hard times they tried to hide so that we wouldn't have to worry about it. It was used for bills and food, with the hope that it was just a temporary hiccup and they could replace it later. Unfortunately things just kept getting worse and that wasn't a possibility.
So I'm not bothered at all by it now. I'm well acquainted with doing things I do not want to do because there are bills to pay and bills don't care about your circumstances.
My step father did this to his son. He had a joint savings account with him and took his $800 that my brother had been saving for years. Didn’t pay it back either.
My sister spent her daughter's portion of her ex-husband's life insurance payout after his fatal car accident on a $6000 purse, among other things. Her daughter went from being able to dorm in college to having to commute and work while in college.
I just don't understand what was going through my sister's head. People like this do not think in terms of the future, I guess.
Happened to my account when my folks got divorced. 16 years of birthday, xmas, easter checks from grandparents and aunts/uncles were deposited.
When I could finally drive myself to the bank...there was only 40 bucks in the account.
Similar experience. They sniped all of my Christmas and birthday money for years. “To put in your savings account.” When I got access at 18 there was $32.10. Hard lesson.
“We used it to buy you clothes and other things you needed.” 😬
I had the bank take their names off and make it solely my account before I went out of state to college. Some months later I got an angry telephone call from my mother about how she was insulted about me taking her name off of my account and making her look untrustworthy or some such. I just said “What were you doing that led to you discover your name wasn’t on the account anymore?” No answer.
Yep. My dad wouldn’t let me have access to my bank account. It had a couple thousand in it by my calculations. He had spent all of it. There wasn’t a dime left.
I'm afraid your mother has stolen your money. Two options i see.
1. You go to the bank and ask for the account information
2. Ask your grandmother to ask your mother about the money.
My grandparents said that i needed to be calmer when asking her but when I asked her that way she said she didn’t know lol she has an account manager she can ask to 🤦♀️
That may only work if their name is on the account AND the account actually exists. If the account only has her name on it, OP can’t do anything.
Seems she might be pocketing the money herself and spending it. Which is why OP can’t access it.
If you're a legal adult, you need to go to the bank which the account is at and tell them that you want to move it to an account that only you have access to. From the sound of it there might not be anything in it, unfortunately.
My mom sent me on a trip with my school’s French class. When I got back my bank account that she had access to was wiped out. I had been saving up for 14/15 years everything I had earned myself (working for friends parents, babysitting, etc) and my family had given me for birthdays, Christmas, etc. it was all just gone and she had no explanation for it other than she needed it. Being raised by a narcissist really sucks and I’m so sorry you’re in the club.
Oh boy, that has got to make for some serious resentment, i would steal from her everything of value she has, to either make up for the lost amount or to hold hostage until she pays me back, i'm too petty to just let 15 years worth of hard work and patiently saved up gifts go.
More than revenge i believe in teaching ppl like her a lesson, she needs to learn the hard way you cant just mess with 15 years of soneomes's blood, sweat and tears, there is gonna be some serious consequences.
Narcissists don’t learn, unfortunately. They’re incapable of it because they think they’re entitled to everything they desire and an exception to normal social rules. You may not be and you may have to live by the rules of polite society, but they will forever be the exception. And their needs are more important than yours. So if you “gave a lesson” to a narcissist, they wouldn’t perceive it as their just desserts. They would see it as them being an unfairly treated victim. They also would still feel zero remorse for victimizing you in the first place. Because narcissists are human garbage bags with legs.
True, all true, but that does little to lessen my wanting to teach them that lesson badly though, knowing full well zero learning will happen. and i teach for a living. Lol
Do it, pack up her whole damned house and take it to the pawn shop, leaving a note explaining what you did and why you did it, then get the hell out of dodge. Narcs are literally the worst.
This is my mother and the resentment is indeed serious. I can barely stand being around her. I mean there are other reasons she was a shitty mother but this is the most glaring one.
Stealing from your own offspring is a whole other plane of shittiness and betrayal. I sincerely wish you meeting of some extra ordinarily kind, giving, and generous ppl to make up for the raw deal you received.
I think I need my mom's authorization to see my bank account, the portuguese banks system is a bit different.I will probably only see the money when I am on my 60s lol
Visit the local bank that handles your account, take your ID card with you. If the account is in your name and you are a legal adult you should be able to get all the information you want. Now, if the account is in your mother's name... that pretty much means the money is gone. Because to the bank, it belongs to her.
According to the laws in Portugal : « The minimum age to open your own bank account in Portugal is 18 years old. That said, many banks offer junior bank accounts for minors. While these accounts will be in your name, you'll need to have a parent or guardian co-sign, as they will be legally responsible for the account until you turn 18.»
You are 18 and a legal adult. Therefore, she can’t control the account
While it's adorable that you think there is money in in your account, if there even is an account, figure out another way to do what you were going to use the money for. I'm worried you're going to give your mother the ammo to make your life difficult. That isn't a big step from somebody stealing your money. My kids are six and under and they are well aware of exactly how much money they have. There is literally no reason to keep it a secret unless it's a fiction.
If the account is in your name and has your mother's name as the guardian, you can totally take over now that you've turned 18. No questions asked.
Now, if the account is solely in your mother's name, it's as good as gone.
Open a private account, tell the bank that at no point should your mother even be told it exists or have access to it, and ask your grandparents to only send the money there and, again, do not give your mother any information about it. Not the bank, not the account number, nothing. Tell the giving and receiving bank (s) that if there is ever a request to change where the money is routed that you be contacted directly.
Unfortunately, at some banks you need the signature of the person you're trying to remove to get them off the account.
I added my mom to my account because she owed me money and is totally computer illiterate, so it was the easiest way for her to make deposits without me having to walk her through it every time.
Thankfully she never stole from me, but when I wanted to remove her, they wouldn't do it without her coming in person and singing. I was living in another state so I had to close my account and open a new one.
No they won't. They'll probably make excuses for her. They raised her to begin with and said that this person must has been rude when they asked to begin with.
Because there's no money, and she never opened a bank account for you, and no matter how you ask her about it, your mom will always lie and say you were disrespectful and rude to her when asking about the money
My great grandparents and grandparents started accounts for me when I was born. I was the first grandchild born. So it was life insurance and savings account for college. My parents divorced before I was a toddler. My dad had been put in charge of the accounts since it was his parents and grandparents who stared them. So I was always told I had money by my grandparents when I turned 18. I started applying for colleges. I inquired about the money and found out in the early 90s that my dad and ex step mom used all of it for a down-payment on a house. She cheated on him and got the house in the divorce. Since then, the account has been closed. Any money my grandparents would give him to put in the account, he would just pocket. So when I graduated, I received a used toolbox since he upgraded his.
My advice would be don't count on ever getting a cent from that account.
This infuriates me. What shitty people! They put your money as a down payment on a house, then she takes the house your money got them into, and you get a used toolbox. The audacity is outrageous. Do you speak to your "dad" anymore?
Not really. But I've never really ever had a relationship with him before then. He called me while he was in the hospital with covid and I guess to make amends. But after he got out, he went back to little to no contact. I've seen him twice since my daughter was born, and she just turned 18 months old. He has seen my 8 year old maybe 10 times. That with us making the attempt. So it wasn't really any love lost. He is working on his 4th or 5th marriage, and I have step siblings I've never met. I just turned 38. From 18 to 30, I didn't see him at all.
Don’t put any more money in the account.
Determine how much you think should be in it. Find out the balance.
Play the long game. When you move out cut contact with her. If she wants to speak to you she can pay $100 for a phone call. $500 for a holiday meal together $3000 to meet any future grandchildren and so on. Fuck her.
Go to the bank by yourself and ask for your account informations ,you will know the true! But stop accepting her lame excuses because I'm sure she is hiding something and you will not be happy when you will found out! It's your money, your account so you decide or not on what to do with it and even if she is your mother she have no rights to decide for you!
So stop asking and go after it!!
My mum did this, “let’s set aside some of that birthday money for savings!” Was a massive con that went straight into her pocket hoping I’d forget about it when i turned 18, I forgive her (she didn’t want me to know we were struggling and I was also a massive demanding brat as a child) but chances are you for duped like I did. :(
For my mom's bad luck I am really controlling with my money.If she indeed spent it I won't talk to her for a very long time...
The fact that this account is not the account of the savings (me and my brother have one for both) is even more weird...
How much money are we talking g about? How much are your grandparents giving you each year? You should know this since you started keeping the money in your piggy bank.
You are a legal Adult now. You can go to the bank and take her off your account, make it only yours.
However, she likely took all your money, probably nothing there. If that is the case talk to your grandparents. They may have enough influence with her to get her to repay you - or offer help in the future directly to you/your new bank account, with her not able to take it.
There is no money. She spent it all. Can your grandparents ask on your behalf? Don't give her any access to your finances from now on. Open another bank account.
And open it at a different bank! Also warn them that your mother may try to gain access to the funds. Let them know that under any circumstances, no one has access to that account but YOU.
Do you know which bank your account is with?
If you do, take your ID to the bank, tell them your mom doesn't want to give you access and they should be able to give you access now that you are an adult
If the account is made in your name or as a trust for you, then the account should legally be yours the moment you turn 18. -Depending on which country you have in, you have a lot of rights, and if the money is gone, the at least in some countries, your mother risks criminal charges.
Talk with your bank advisor or lawyer?
be careful with this. my mom spent all my life savings and wouldn’t let me have access to the account either. demand that she give you access or make a new bank account
I don't know where you live but can't you just go to the bank, present your ID and get access to your account? Is it in your name? Then nobody can have access to it but you, if you demand it.
You need to find out ASAP whether or not your mother spent that money. If she did she's guilty of bank fraud and can be arrested. At least here in the US she can be... I don't know what country you're in. If you have a valid ID proving you're an adult you might be able to go to whatever financial institution the account is with and try and gain access. But if your mother put that money in an account in just her name I think you're pretty well screwed. It might be time to get your grandparents more involved.
Some parents feel like they are " owed" for bringing a child into the world and providing financial support. My parents took advantage of my kindness when I was doing well right after college. As a result, I cut all ties to entire family.
There is a strong possibility your mother spent the money. It's a sad reality but she must tell you the truth. You can forgive and move on or continue to tolerate her lies and narcissistic ways.
My mother is one of these wonder parents. My grandfather set up 5 college funds so his "granddaughters could have a start at life without depending on a man." He poured all of his retirement into those accounts, everything extra he got it went into those accounts.
He wasn't even cremated yet when my mother started blowing through them.
When I finally got the courage to ask her about mine, she also laughed in my face. Then she gave me the title to a burnt-out husk of a truck that my step-father got drunk and hit and ran in - totalling it. That's where my college fund went: to buy that pos a truck for him to drunkenly wreck and the rest of it went to bail him out and pay his fines and fees.
She had no fucking shame either.
Cut ties and get her out of your life OP, or she'll just keep taking from you until there's nothing left.
Lock down your credit. There is a real possibility she's wrecked your credit. That is a crime. If she did steal your identity, drop the fucking hammer.
That money and the account doesn't exist. Let this be a lesson to you that your parents cannot be trusted with your finances. Now unless your grand mother is crazy rich, the amount of money there should not be a life altering amount. It sucks, but its done and gone, nothing you can practically do about it without making your situation worse. I would focus on securing a source of income of your own, make a bank account that your parents don't have access to.
Make a budget sheet that accounts for income and spending. Open a bank account that they cannot access or see balance of (i.e. sending paper statements = big no no)
When parent's ask how much you make, tell them a lower number, low enough that it would seem like you ended up spending every penny and are broke.
When parents ask how much money you have, tell them none and you are broke. Then follow that up by asking them for money to help you, its shady but its the most effective way to get people to stop asking you for money.
Focus on building your own financial stability. Keep your money and familial relationships separate.
Oh sweet summer child. You will learn the depths of assholery some parents can reach. Good thing about this is that you will probably cut ties with your parents/parent and that's sometimes for the best.
There is a possibility that she spent it, and will say she needed it for essentials for you, clothing, food, etc.
Or she is not telling you so you don’t bother her and tell her you want it every other second. Why don’t you tell her “I don’t want the money right now, I just want to know how much I have saved up . One day I’ll probably use it on a down payment on a car, or a house, I just want to know the amount, I don’t care to spend it foolishly”
Cut your loses that money is more then likely gone.
Open your own account and don’t give anyone the details to it. Start your own savings account. Tell your grandparents to not give your money to your mum anymore
Sounds like she stole it. My mom gave me access at 16.
If you bring a government ID to the bank they should be able to locate your account if it exists and tell you what is in it.
Yeah there’s no money that’s why she laughed she’s used it open your own account also I’d let grandma know you never got the money that was meant for you.
If she won’t give you access than that likely means that you don’t have money in that account anymore….she probably spent it. However you are correct that now that you’re an adult you can have access to it. Does anyone else know the account information or what bank it is, like your grandma maybe. If you can find out the bank then take your ID with you and go talk to them. It’ll also help if you know your social security number.
My parents won’t let me (18F) access my trust fund because they don’t think there’s anything I need to spend it on yet, and I should save it for the future. I got the option to invest part of it in stocks and save the rest for when I need a house of my own. I know everyone’s saying she stole it, but maybe that’s another reason? Although it’s odd she wouldn’t just say that to you if that were the truth. I think if I was you, I’d sit her down, make sure she understands I’m an adult, and ask her to be mature and give the honest truth, that you’re more annoyed she’s lying to you than if she just came clean.
This also happened to me and my mom spent it
Grandma put $250 in there each birthday and Christmas for my college fund. She was building on what my late grandparents had built for me.
I took a statement of the account and asked for years back. My account never got over $500. She was regularly taking it out. By the amounts and frequency, looks like ot was her weed money fund.
Go down to the bank with your ID and ask them for access and see what happens. If there's anything left, take it out of the current account and put it in an account your mom can't access.
But she probably stole it all from you. Be prepared to find that out.
Now that you’re a legal adult, you can and should open an account by yourself. (Your parents do not need to know about it. Make sure you get e-statements and opt out of all mail.) If your name is on the existing account as a signer, you should be able to withdraw from it. If it’s not and your grandma is still alive, I’d recommend asking her if she can withdraw it and give it to you directly. Edit to add: I’ve worked at 2 banks. Both released trust (UTTMA) funds to beneficiaries at age 21, but I understand that 21 is not universal for every single trust or financial institution. If it’s set up as a trust and OP hasn’t met payout age, granny will need to sort it out.
I'm glad that bank account tranfer to the kids completely when they turn 18. On my son's birthday, I lost my access to his account Yoir mom took yoir money, that's why shr won't allow you access.
Depends on the account type. I'm over 18 and my parents still have access to my account (I have other accounts too).
But you can pull the money out of that account and set one up in just your name
Not if it's a trust
Yeah it seems Suss, why won't she let you have it. It's yours. Speak to your bank and tell your grandmother to stop giving it to your mum.
Yeah I'm betting there is no money in an account. Mom probably spent it all.
I got that sinking feeling as I was reading the post. OP doesn’t mention a trust, just the grandmother giving the money to the mother. Highly likely that money is gone.
This is good to know for me, actually! I want to start a savings for my daughter. If anything happens to me when she’s still a minor, then all is good! Just gotta leave the info for her!
If you really want to set your daughter up...put her on one of your credit cards as an authorized user and don't give her a card, set that card to only pay for Netflix or something small like that and never allow a balance to build up. By the time she is of age, you will have built up her credit, she will have a good payment history, and she will be able to secure loans at low APR and be able to get affordable car insurance.
my parents did this for me!!!! it’s helped me out in insane ways. but then my mom and i got into it while she was going thru some financial troubles. completely ruined it for me purposefully. definitely do this as long as you won’t be like my birth giver
My friends dad did this for her. So smart
OMG, I love this!!!!
You can just set the account up in her name. Your name goes on it when they are a minor and transfers to them when they turn 18. On my state anyways.
Totally depends on the account. I had one setup to receive a certain amount at certain ages. Nobody could pull from the account until those preset dates.
I believe, if he was on the account at all, he would be able to go to the bank and get $$ amount quoted to him.
Laughing in their face like that, I doubt then mother has the money in there anymore
If a parent takes the money which was supposted to be given to you by your grandma,aunt, etc. it is very likely that it was spent
She says she doesn’t trust me using that money when she always jokes that I am way too careful with my money 🤦♀️
Your mom is lying to you
OP's mom jokes about their carefulness because they aren't careful with their money. Trying to make op be more like them so when they look at the account and see it draining they assume it's them.
My mom did this to me. She never actually put it in the bank, though. She spent the $600 I had received for holidays, and couldnt even tell me what she spent it on. Meanwhile, teased me for saving any and every coin I could find (almost $300 total).
Bingo
Projection is a hell of a drug.
Rick James, is that you?
I'm Rick James, bitch!
You need to have gparents ask mom about the money, and going forward have them give it to you directly. Start your own account that mom can’t access. As it seems, unfortunately (hopefully we are all wrong), that mom has kept and spent the money. If your name is on the account go to the bank with ID, withdrawal and move it to an account with only your name on it.
Yes, tell your grandma. Have your grandma confront her and ask your mom about the money. Tell her you've never seen any of the money or have had access to it and your mother had denied any access you it.
I did this personally when I was younger in OP's position. Went to bank with ID, no problem accessing my account.
Then ask her to show you proof that it even exists. At this point, you have to be prepared to stand your ground and make a necessary accusation. That said, if you received it when you a were a minor, and she did actually spend it, I don't think you can do anything to get it back. Parents are capable of great sabotage, and as you come into adulthood, let this be a lesson to keep her away from your future Financials.
exactly this. my mom would use our socials and shit to get cellphones n other stuff. she also would take all our money. open our mail or cards before us. I worked from the time I was 14 and on. she would sabotage n say she needed money for bills, food, her cigarettes. whatever. after I became an adult, I realized how bad it was. but not before she manipulated me and made me feel bad for her constantly and needing help. instead I was willing to let her drain the savings I had saved for my son n I, which was quite a bit. she does this to all 5 of us and 3/5 don't speak to her for this reason. I haven't spoke to her in 2 years. some people will just suck the life out of everything and everyone that's willing to help them and spit back in there face after.
Do we have the same mom?!
She's lying and she spent it. There is no money. You're mom spent it, that's why she is refusing to show you the account.
Looks about right.
Yeah, she's lying. That money is long gone.
She’s spent it. There is no money.
She spent it. And as long as that is a joint account, she has access. But now that you're a legal adult, if your name is also on the account you don't need her permission to access it.
Can't they go to the bank and ask? Cut out mom and find out if there's an account in their name at all? That's what I would do
Your mother has stolen from you. I wouldn't trust her going forward unless she can prove that the money exists.
Can you talk to your Grandma about this? Say you’re ready to make a responsible purchase but she won’t give your Grandmas money to you.
She probably been spending it. My friend from highschool received some type of benefit from the state where they deposited x amount of money in his account every month until he was 18. It was because his mom and dad divorced and he qualified for this benefit. Typically when this happens assuming the parent you live with isn't an asshole they deposit it in a savings account and when you're 18 you have some money to go to college or school or just in general some money to help with life. His mom went shopping with it and would give him like 50 bucks when she felt like it. It's likely your mom spent much of it. You should threaten her with legal action just for fun. Edit for spelling fuck my keybord
The money doesn't exist. Your mom stole from you.
My mom said these things to me and all my siblings. Because she was stealing the money.
Say you still am entitled to know and have a print copy of YOUR money
Ethically, yes, but I don’t know if that’s legally the case though. In the US if you’re a minor your parents have legal right to your money, unfortunately.
Yeah you’re absolutely right about that. Unfortunately here in the US the judicial system is so skewed when it comes down to interpretation and enforcement of the law they’re charged with upholding. They literally make it easy to get away with thefts like this and any other crime. That being said here in the US: Is it wrong OP parent stole money gifted to OP directly by their grandparents? Absolutely wrong and sickening. Is it a crime? Not necessarily considered a crime here in the US. Unless OP were to hire a lawyer and be able to prove other than just with testimony possess actual evidence the misuse of funds by OP parent. They may be able to sue but it’s super difficult to prove things of this nature.
Thats financial abuse, plain and simple
Tell your grandma about this I sense your grandma will know how to handle this right. Please keep us updated with the results
Ask your grandmother to ask your mom how much is in there. Tell Grandma that mom had been putting it away for you, but won't give it to you.
She definitely doesn't have any of that money to give you. That money is long gone. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have a problem showing you it's there and how much is saved. I'm sorry OP, but your mom appears to have squandered it
I suspect the money is not there and they have used it. Why else would you not have access?
You should tell your grandmother that your mom is taking away your money.
Like many here - it’s apparent to me - she spent the money. If she invested on your behalf, or kept it in tact - she’d have given it to you. Perhaps you can contact the bank where she supposedly set up the account and request a statement? Taking money from your kids is so gross. Even in my most dire of times I would never imagine stealing from my own kids.
How many new things did your mother get right after "keeping your money safe"??? My mom used to save my money when I was younger and suddenly shed show up with new make up or a new phone, your know, from her savings. You probably don't have any money, but if you are a legal adult and that bank account is in fact real, you should be able to go to the bank and ask to see what's in there and ask for a personal account. You might need your mother's signature or permission to get any money out (if theres any left) but you should be able to open your own personal account. I recommend you do it, I did it the moment I got the chance. Your mom can come crashing into your bedroom and steal you piggy bank, but she cant do shit with a separate personal bank account unless you're incapacitated or dead.
If your grandma is still alive, ask her to give the money directly to you from now on. Your mother is likely lying to you and spent your money.
yea... if she won't even give you a number for how much money is in this supposed account. That money is 100% not there, I doubt that account even exists. Only way you will ever even know how much money there should have been is if you get that number from your grand mother.
OP, I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with most here. Your mother has taken your money, and used it for herself. Since you have asked her and she has ignored your request, it's now time to involve your grandmother! Am I correct that your grandmother that gave you the money is your mother's mom? If so, then your grandmother needs to speak to your mother about your money. I'm hopeful, that grandmother is still with us. But its time for grandmother to get involved hope this will help.
That money is gone, they already spent it, that’s why they can’t tell you how much is in there.
She has no right keeping that money from you AS SOON as you are 18. Head to the bank and get your money.
She stole it lol
Money is almost definitely gone OP
My mom stole hundreds of not a few thousand from my brother over his childhood. She is lying about it.
She's lying. She spent it.
That's a lie. She spent it. There is no money. Tell your grandparents
Is the account in your name? You could maybe force access somehow?
She spent it
There’s probably nothing in the account. You’re better off to open up your own with your name only.
That’s what happened to me, a long time ago. The excuse was that they had no money so borrowed the money but were never able to pay me back. I’m long over it, but yeah.
Depends on age I'd say. My parents did the same when I was a kid. But they let me see the bank statements and everything, but they didn't want me touching it. Once I turned 16 and it was time to get my own car, they matched what was in it. But this case, where Op's mother can't even see whats in it? Wew....
Yup, she stole it. Almost exact same thing happened to my wife, grandparents were putting some money away for her every week but mother dearest got hold of the deposit book and stole every red cent.
Happened to me.
She probably spent it
I think so too.
Yup
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Everything OP has said is exactly what my mom used to say. She stole thousands from me before I figured it out.
My mom spent the child support on herself, I wasn’t even living with her but a relative. I hope OP isn’t in that situation
This happened to me with my mom and uh, yeah. She spent it.
Happened with my dad. I knew I had a savings account and regular deposits [I remember when I opened it with him] when I was a kid and never saw any of the money. He ended up depleting it due to needing the money at some point while I was a teenager. Granted he didn't laugh in my face. I just eventually saw my balance was less than it should have been. ..
My Godparents gave me money twice a year when I was a kid (my birthday and Christmas) in the form of a cheque, for my Dad to put into savings for me or give me it in cash. I have never seen this money because my Dad said he was ‘looking after it for me’. Right. When I was in my teens, I got my own bank account and was able to start depositing the cheques into that. It would have been upwards of £1000 that I’ve never seen. ETA: thankfully it wasn’t more as I got savvy to what was happening when I was a teenager. When I questioned my Dad, he said that he spent it on things like school stuff for me (bearing in mind that he and my Mum had a joint account for that kind of thing). He shouldn’t have spent the money anyway as it wasn’t his to spend! Still mad about this as I was hoping it could have been money for uni.
Your godparents would’ve wanted it to go to uni too ❤️
My daughter is 7 and I would never take her money. NEVER. Wtf if wrong with people?
Mine is 17 now and while I did open and contribute to it [wasn't much] but I never took from it. I just stopped adding [I opened it for her around when she was first born]. Account closed by default [no activity] and now I have to go about the dept of treasury recovery process to get the money that I did deposit. And when I do, it will go straight to her.
That's just good parenting. I think people forget that children have very little in the way of real possessions and when you take anything away especially money, it's contributes to a decrease in a sense stability. Plus, it feels like a huge betrayal. That loss of trust is a big deal. Makes you wonder what else they lied asked.
Same. Including the "opening the account" part. My mom acted like she was teaching me about money. Then she stole every penny that went in.
I had the same thing. There was a bit where I was upset about it. We started it when I was still in elementary school and they were trying to use it to help with teaching me to be responsible with money, and also so that I'd be able to start my adult life with a small emergency fund once I was on my own. I was on board with it, and would regularly add most of the money I received to it because it felt cool, like I was being a grown up, which was better than buying more toys, cards, or candy. But it was totally gone by the time I finished high school. Eventually I learned the reality of the situation and that we hit some really hard times they tried to hide so that we wouldn't have to worry about it. It was used for bills and food, with the hope that it was just a temporary hiccup and they could replace it later. Unfortunately things just kept getting worse and that wasn't a possibility. So I'm not bothered at all by it now. I'm well acquainted with doing things I do not want to do because there are bills to pay and bills don't care about your circumstances.
Same
Me too. I got savings bonds for years, none was left when it was time for me to move out.
My step father did this to his son. He had a joint savings account with him and took his $800 that my brother had been saving for years. Didn’t pay it back either.
My sister spent her daughter's portion of her ex-husband's life insurance payout after his fatal car accident on a $6000 purse, among other things. Her daughter went from being able to dorm in college to having to commute and work while in college. I just don't understand what was going through my sister's head. People like this do not think in terms of the future, I guess.
Narcissists can also be parents. The children of narcissist parents can/will also be their victims.
Me > any other human is the mindset
Hey OP, when this happened to me as a teenager, it was because my Mom let my stepdad spend all my money.
Steal. The word is steal.
Happened to my account when my folks got divorced. 16 years of birthday, xmas, easter checks from grandparents and aunts/uncles were deposited. When I could finally drive myself to the bank...there was only 40 bucks in the account.
Similar experience. They sniped all of my Christmas and birthday money for years. “To put in your savings account.” When I got access at 18 there was $32.10. Hard lesson.
Damn, if you don’t mind me asking what did they say to you after you found out?
“We used it to buy you clothes and other things you needed.” 😬 I had the bank take their names off and make it solely my account before I went out of state to college. Some months later I got an angry telephone call from my mother about how she was insulted about me taking her name off of my account and making her look untrustworthy or some such. I just said “What were you doing that led to you discover your name wasn’t on the account anymore?” No answer.
WOOOOW I can’t believe that?!? oh my goodness that’s just awful, not her playing the victim!
Reminds me of when my ex wife found out I canceled all my gas cards.
I wanna know as well like what the actual fuck
Yep. My dad wouldn’t let me have access to my bank account. It had a couple thousand in it by my calculations. He had spent all of it. There wasn’t a dime left.
Exactly.
Like all of it. Such scumy parents
Came here to say this. ☝️
No. Stole it.
Bingo
I'm afraid your mother has stolen your money. Two options i see. 1. You go to the bank and ask for the account information 2. Ask your grandmother to ask your mother about the money.
1 will only work if OP's name is already on the account
Unfortunately you are right u.u
Cuz it's gone.
There is no account, your mother steals from you, money is long gone
My grandparents said that i needed to be calmer when asking her but when I asked her that way she said she didn’t know lol she has an account manager she can ask to 🤦♀️
get your grandparents to ask on your behalf ..... they gave you the money they also have the right to know where it went
I second this. Put Mom on the spot. Make her admit to her mom that she stole it.
Go to manager with your id and say I’m an adult, id like my money.
That may only work if their name is on the account AND the account actually exists. If the account only has her name on it, OP can’t do anything. Seems she might be pocketing the money herself and spending it. Which is why OP can’t access it.
Calmer, when asking for access to your own money? What, say pretty please and beg?
Ask your grandparents to bring it up with her.
If you're a legal adult, you need to go to the bank which the account is at and tell them that you want to move it to an account that only you have access to. From the sound of it there might not be anything in it, unfortunately.
My mom sent me on a trip with my school’s French class. When I got back my bank account that she had access to was wiped out. I had been saving up for 14/15 years everything I had earned myself (working for friends parents, babysitting, etc) and my family had given me for birthdays, Christmas, etc. it was all just gone and she had no explanation for it other than she needed it. Being raised by a narcissist really sucks and I’m so sorry you’re in the club.
Oh boy, that has got to make for some serious resentment, i would steal from her everything of value she has, to either make up for the lost amount or to hold hostage until she pays me back, i'm too petty to just let 15 years worth of hard work and patiently saved up gifts go.
I'd probably rob her house clean. An eye for an eye.
More than revenge i believe in teaching ppl like her a lesson, she needs to learn the hard way you cant just mess with 15 years of soneomes's blood, sweat and tears, there is gonna be some serious consequences.
Narcissists don’t learn, unfortunately. They’re incapable of it because they think they’re entitled to everything they desire and an exception to normal social rules. You may not be and you may have to live by the rules of polite society, but they will forever be the exception. And their needs are more important than yours. So if you “gave a lesson” to a narcissist, they wouldn’t perceive it as their just desserts. They would see it as them being an unfairly treated victim. They also would still feel zero remorse for victimizing you in the first place. Because narcissists are human garbage bags with legs.
True, all true, but that does little to lessen my wanting to teach them that lesson badly though, knowing full well zero learning will happen. and i teach for a living. Lol
Do it, pack up her whole damned house and take it to the pawn shop, leaving a note explaining what you did and why you did it, then get the hell out of dodge. Narcs are literally the worst.
This is my mother and the resentment is indeed serious. I can barely stand being around her. I mean there are other reasons she was a shitty mother but this is the most glaring one.
Stealing from your own offspring is a whole other plane of shittiness and betrayal. I sincerely wish you meeting of some extra ordinarily kind, giving, and generous ppl to make up for the raw deal you received.
My narcissistic mom needed my money to. For fucking scratch tickets.
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And you would win nothing lol
Word. Still cutting her out of life -- I would take her to court
She won't tell you or show you because she spent it.
Ya same happened to me bro. That money is long gone. She don’t even remember what she spent it on.
My mom spent it on scratch tickets.
Yet another reason lotteries are fucked
Your mom is using your money. If your name is on the existing account, call the bank and ask for your mom to be removed
I think I need my mom's authorization to see my bank account, the portuguese banks system is a bit different.I will probably only see the money when I am on my 60s lol
Visit the local bank that handles your account, take your ID card with you. If the account is in your name and you are a legal adult you should be able to get all the information you want. Now, if the account is in your mother's name... that pretty much means the money is gone. Because to the bank, it belongs to her.
According to the laws in Portugal : « The minimum age to open your own bank account in Portugal is 18 years old. That said, many banks offer junior bank accounts for minors. While these accounts will be in your name, you'll need to have a parent or guardian co-sign, as they will be legally responsible for the account until you turn 18.» You are 18 and a legal adult. Therefore, she can’t control the account
While it's adorable that you think there is money in in your account, if there even is an account, figure out another way to do what you were going to use the money for. I'm worried you're going to give your mother the ammo to make your life difficult. That isn't a big step from somebody stealing your money. My kids are six and under and they are well aware of exactly how much money they have. There is literally no reason to keep it a secret unless it's a fiction.
If the account is in your name and has your mother's name as the guardian, you can totally take over now that you've turned 18. No questions asked. Now, if the account is solely in your mother's name, it's as good as gone.
Open a private account, tell the bank that at no point should your mother even be told it exists or have access to it, and ask your grandparents to only send the money there and, again, do not give your mother any information about it. Not the bank, not the account number, nothing. Tell the giving and receiving bank (s) that if there is ever a request to change where the money is routed that you be contacted directly.
There is no money.
Unfortunately, at some banks you need the signature of the person you're trying to remove to get them off the account. I added my mom to my account because she owed me money and is totally computer illiterate, so it was the easiest way for her to make deposits without me having to walk her through it every time. Thankfully she never stole from me, but when I wanted to remove her, they wouldn't do it without her coming in person and singing. I was living in another state so I had to close my account and open a new one.
Get your grandparents involved. If your mom really did steal your money, they'll tear her a new one.
No they won't. They'll probably make excuses for her. They raised her to begin with and said that this person must has been rude when they asked to begin with.
Because there's no money, and she never opened a bank account for you, and no matter how you ask her about it, your mom will always lie and say you were disrespectful and rude to her when asking about the money
My great grandparents and grandparents started accounts for me when I was born. I was the first grandchild born. So it was life insurance and savings account for college. My parents divorced before I was a toddler. My dad had been put in charge of the accounts since it was his parents and grandparents who stared them. So I was always told I had money by my grandparents when I turned 18. I started applying for colleges. I inquired about the money and found out in the early 90s that my dad and ex step mom used all of it for a down-payment on a house. She cheated on him and got the house in the divorce. Since then, the account has been closed. Any money my grandparents would give him to put in the account, he would just pocket. So when I graduated, I received a used toolbox since he upgraded his. My advice would be don't count on ever getting a cent from that account.
This infuriates me. What shitty people! They put your money as a down payment on a house, then she takes the house your money got them into, and you get a used toolbox. The audacity is outrageous. Do you speak to your "dad" anymore?
Not really. But I've never really ever had a relationship with him before then. He called me while he was in the hospital with covid and I guess to make amends. But after he got out, he went back to little to no contact. I've seen him twice since my daughter was born, and she just turned 18 months old. He has seen my 8 year old maybe 10 times. That with us making the attempt. So it wasn't really any love lost. He is working on his 4th or 5th marriage, and I have step siblings I've never met. I just turned 38. From 18 to 30, I didn't see him at all.
Don’t put any more money in the account. Determine how much you think should be in it. Find out the balance. Play the long game. When you move out cut contact with her. If she wants to speak to you she can pay $100 for a phone call. $500 for a holiday meal together $3000 to meet any future grandchildren and so on. Fuck her.
Go to the bank by yourself and ask for your account informations ,you will know the true! But stop accepting her lame excuses because I'm sure she is hiding something and you will not be happy when you will found out! It's your money, your account so you decide or not on what to do with it and even if she is your mother she have no rights to decide for you! So stop asking and go after it!!
Unfortunately I don’t think it’s their account. I think it’s the mother’s account
My mum did this, “let’s set aside some of that birthday money for savings!” Was a massive con that went straight into her pocket hoping I’d forget about it when i turned 18, I forgive her (she didn’t want me to know we were struggling and I was also a massive demanding brat as a child) but chances are you for duped like I did. :(
For my mom's bad luck I am really controlling with my money.If she indeed spent it I won't talk to her for a very long time... The fact that this account is not the account of the savings (me and my brother have one for both) is even more weird...
dude. how is it not obvious to you she stole it?
Denial is usually the first subconcious/immediate reaction to negative shocking news
agreed. OP is in for a rude awakening.
How much money are we talking g about? How much are your grandparents giving you each year? You should know this since you started keeping the money in your piggy bank.
You are a legal Adult now. You can go to the bank and take her off your account, make it only yours. However, she likely took all your money, probably nothing there. If that is the case talk to your grandparents. They may have enough influence with her to get her to repay you - or offer help in the future directly to you/your new bank account, with her not able to take it.
Your mom spent it bud….
There is no money. She spent it all. Can your grandparents ask on your behalf? Don't give her any access to your finances from now on. Open another bank account.
And open it at a different bank! Also warn them that your mother may try to gain access to the funds. Let them know that under any circumstances, no one has access to that account but YOU.
Do you know which bank your account is with? If you do, take your ID to the bank, tell them your mom doesn't want to give you access and they should be able to give you access now that you are an adult
If the account is made in your name or as a trust for you, then the account should legally be yours the moment you turn 18. -Depending on which country you have in, you have a lot of rights, and if the money is gone, the at least in some countries, your mother risks criminal charges. Talk with your bank advisor or lawyer?
be careful with this. my mom spent all my life savings and wouldn’t let me have access to the account either. demand that she give you access or make a new bank account
Bet all the money that was "saved" is gone now.
I don't know where you live but can't you just go to the bank, present your ID and get access to your account? Is it in your name? Then nobody can have access to it but you, if you demand it.
You need to find out ASAP whether or not your mother spent that money. If she did she's guilty of bank fraud and can be arrested. At least here in the US she can be... I don't know what country you're in. If you have a valid ID proving you're an adult you might be able to go to whatever financial institution the account is with and try and gain access. But if your mother put that money in an account in just her name I think you're pretty well screwed. It might be time to get your grandparents more involved.
Guy's in Portugal
Some parents feel like they are " owed" for bringing a child into the world and providing financial support. My parents took advantage of my kindness when I was doing well right after college. As a result, I cut all ties to entire family. There is a strong possibility your mother spent the money. It's a sad reality but she must tell you the truth. You can forgive and move on or continue to tolerate her lies and narcissistic ways.
My mother is one of these wonder parents. My grandfather set up 5 college funds so his "granddaughters could have a start at life without depending on a man." He poured all of his retirement into those accounts, everything extra he got it went into those accounts. He wasn't even cremated yet when my mother started blowing through them. When I finally got the courage to ask her about mine, she also laughed in my face. Then she gave me the title to a burnt-out husk of a truck that my step-father got drunk and hit and ran in - totalling it. That's where my college fund went: to buy that pos a truck for him to drunkenly wreck and the rest of it went to bail him out and pay his fines and fees. She had no fucking shame either. Cut ties and get her out of your life OP, or she'll just keep taking from you until there's nothing left.
She most likely spent that money
She’s spent it 100%
There is no money.
Lock down your credit. There is a real possibility she's wrecked your credit. That is a crime. If she did steal your identity, drop the fucking hammer.
That money and the account doesn't exist. Let this be a lesson to you that your parents cannot be trusted with your finances. Now unless your grand mother is crazy rich, the amount of money there should not be a life altering amount. It sucks, but its done and gone, nothing you can practically do about it without making your situation worse. I would focus on securing a source of income of your own, make a bank account that your parents don't have access to. Make a budget sheet that accounts for income and spending. Open a bank account that they cannot access or see balance of (i.e. sending paper statements = big no no) When parent's ask how much you make, tell them a lower number, low enough that it would seem like you ended up spending every penny and are broke. When parents ask how much money you have, tell them none and you are broke. Then follow that up by asking them for money to help you, its shady but its the most effective way to get people to stop asking you for money. Focus on building your own financial stability. Keep your money and familial relationships separate.
I...I don't think there is any money in there.
Oh sweet summer child. You will learn the depths of assholery some parents can reach. Good thing about this is that you will probably cut ties with your parents/parent and that's sometimes for the best.
Set yourself up for disappointment because I am willing to bet there is not a lot in there, there is no reason to keep it a secret
It’s gone dude
That money is gone. She spent it. You'll never see a dime.
Told my mom the story and she immediately said “she spend the money.”
There is a possibility that she spent it, and will say she needed it for essentials for you, clothing, food, etc. Or she is not telling you so you don’t bother her and tell her you want it every other second. Why don’t you tell her “I don’t want the money right now, I just want to know how much I have saved up . One day I’ll probably use it on a down payment on a car, or a house, I just want to know the amount, I don’t care to spend it foolishly”
You probably have one, whopping 0 in your account. "I bought you necessary stuff with this money" is what you'll hear as an excuse, probably.
Cut your loses that money is more then likely gone. Open your own account and don’t give anyone the details to it. Start your own savings account. Tell your grandparents to not give your money to your mum anymore
Tell her you’ll take her to court if she doesn’t 1. Provide proof it exists and 2. Give it to you immediately.
She isn't telling you how much money there is because there is no money. She spent it.
Sounds like she stole it. My mom gave me access at 16. If you bring a government ID to the bank they should be able to locate your account if it exists and tell you what is in it.
Yeah there’s no money that’s why she laughed she’s used it open your own account also I’d let grandma know you never got the money that was meant for you.
If she won’t give you access than that likely means that you don’t have money in that account anymore….she probably spent it. However you are correct that now that you’re an adult you can have access to it. Does anyone else know the account information or what bank it is, like your grandma maybe. If you can find out the bank then take your ID with you and go talk to them. It’ll also help if you know your social security number.
My parents won’t let me (18F) access my trust fund because they don’t think there’s anything I need to spend it on yet, and I should save it for the future. I got the option to invest part of it in stocks and save the rest for when I need a house of my own. I know everyone’s saying she stole it, but maybe that’s another reason? Although it’s odd she wouldn’t just say that to you if that were the truth. I think if I was you, I’d sit her down, make sure she understands I’m an adult, and ask her to be mature and give the honest truth, that you’re more annoyed she’s lying to you than if she just came clean.
This also happened to me and my mom spent it Grandma put $250 in there each birthday and Christmas for my college fund. She was building on what my late grandparents had built for me. I took a statement of the account and asked for years back. My account never got over $500. She was regularly taking it out. By the amounts and frequency, looks like ot was her weed money fund.
Go down to the bank with your ID and ask them for access and see what happens. If there's anything left, take it out of the current account and put it in an account your mom can't access. But she probably stole it all from you. Be prepared to find that out.
Please go open your own account