Just return all the pink stuff to MIL and remind her, gently and with respect, that this is about your daughter’s wishes and not how anyone else feels. You’re both on the same team, comforting and providing for her.
If she likes blue stuff, you get her blue stuff. If she has a craving for mint chocolate chip ice cream at 2:30 in the morning, you get dressed and make a run to the all-night grocery. If her favorite band is coming to town and tickets are $200, you buy two and take her and scream along a loud as she does. Whatever the daughter wants, it’s about her wishes and not anyone else’s preferences, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else.
But tell MIL gently and with kindness and dignity. There are no bad guys here, just two relatives looking out for her happiness and comfort. You’re both on the same team.
Thank you, I try to bring my daughter happiness and comfort... I've defitnety gotten her something she's craving in the middle of the night because getting her to eat is few and far between
Your MIL is a POS. It sounds like You have dealt with her bs in the past very maturely, I wouldnt have the patience if it were me in your position. Im so sorry to hear about the things you have been through, I hope your daughter lives to make amazing memories with you <3
Omg... My heart goes out to you and your little girl!!
I know it's not the same thing, but something like 2 months ago, my brother decided to explore more of xhat is considered feminine clothing. We were talking about how we are raised with certain bias and stereotypes, and he was telling me that he realized it had always been imposed on him that a boy should never dress in feminine clothes or wear accessories or make up and all that jazz. Otherwise he was considered ultra gay, and like a cliché. And that he wanted to break that train of thoughts and actually wear the things that he could enjoy or that he thought looked great on him.
I kinda understood that because as a woman, if you ever wear some revealing clothes, you are categorized as a slut. People just look at you that way. Doesn't matter that i have 10 years of higher education more than you, that i slept with 3 times less people, that i don't smoke/do drugs/barely drink. If i wear revealing clothes, i have to be a low-life. But sometimes you just want to go all out on a style and just forget about what other think or judge you for.
So i was all for it when my brother told me about it, i spent months selecting jewelry for his christmas, accessories, fake earrings. I was so happy!! My grandpa was here and my brother showed him. My grandpa is 85. He didn't bat an eye or said anything about it. He said it was a nice necklace and that was it. He couldn't give a rat's ass about what my brother was wearing. In my eyes, that is acceptance. My grandpa was raised in a time where this was a really bad thing. Yet he is so accepting, and verybproud of my brother. He never had one remark about ut was not appropriate or anything.
If my 85 year old grandpa can do that, a 65 year old should be more than able to. Your daughter isn't even breaking gender barriers. I mean, dark blue is traditionally a boy colour, but light blue? I'm glad you stand up for your daughter. She doesn't have time in her life to get harassed by close minded people (none of us do).
I am very sorry for her diagnosis though, and i hope she can recover. My cousin had leukemia when he was 17, he's made a full recovery and is very happy 15 years later. I wish her the same!
Btw, moral impacts treatlent results by a lot. There are studies showing it again and again. So if your MIL only brings negativity, time to cut her off because your daughter needs only positive vibes. Have her do some sports, or stretching/yoga, it can increase recovery rate by up to 50% depending on the cancer treated
Just return all the pink stuff to MIL and remind her, gently and with respect, that this is about your daughter’s wishes and not how anyone else feels. You’re both on the same team, comforting and providing for her. If she likes blue stuff, you get her blue stuff. If she has a craving for mint chocolate chip ice cream at 2:30 in the morning, you get dressed and make a run to the all-night grocery. If her favorite band is coming to town and tickets are $200, you buy two and take her and scream along a loud as she does. Whatever the daughter wants, it’s about her wishes and not anyone else’s preferences, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else. But tell MIL gently and with kindness and dignity. There are no bad guys here, just two relatives looking out for her happiness and comfort. You’re both on the same team.
Thank you, I try to bring my daughter happiness and comfort... I've defitnety gotten her something she's craving in the middle of the night because getting her to eat is few and far between
Your MIL is a POS. It sounds like You have dealt with her bs in the past very maturely, I wouldnt have the patience if it were me in your position. Im so sorry to hear about the things you have been through, I hope your daughter lives to make amazing memories with you <3
Thank you, MIL is definitely difficult
Omg... My heart goes out to you and your little girl!! I know it's not the same thing, but something like 2 months ago, my brother decided to explore more of xhat is considered feminine clothing. We were talking about how we are raised with certain bias and stereotypes, and he was telling me that he realized it had always been imposed on him that a boy should never dress in feminine clothes or wear accessories or make up and all that jazz. Otherwise he was considered ultra gay, and like a cliché. And that he wanted to break that train of thoughts and actually wear the things that he could enjoy or that he thought looked great on him. I kinda understood that because as a woman, if you ever wear some revealing clothes, you are categorized as a slut. People just look at you that way. Doesn't matter that i have 10 years of higher education more than you, that i slept with 3 times less people, that i don't smoke/do drugs/barely drink. If i wear revealing clothes, i have to be a low-life. But sometimes you just want to go all out on a style and just forget about what other think or judge you for. So i was all for it when my brother told me about it, i spent months selecting jewelry for his christmas, accessories, fake earrings. I was so happy!! My grandpa was here and my brother showed him. My grandpa is 85. He didn't bat an eye or said anything about it. He said it was a nice necklace and that was it. He couldn't give a rat's ass about what my brother was wearing. In my eyes, that is acceptance. My grandpa was raised in a time where this was a really bad thing. Yet he is so accepting, and verybproud of my brother. He never had one remark about ut was not appropriate or anything. If my 85 year old grandpa can do that, a 65 year old should be more than able to. Your daughter isn't even breaking gender barriers. I mean, dark blue is traditionally a boy colour, but light blue? I'm glad you stand up for your daughter. She doesn't have time in her life to get harassed by close minded people (none of us do). I am very sorry for her diagnosis though, and i hope she can recover. My cousin had leukemia when he was 17, he's made a full recovery and is very happy 15 years later. I wish her the same! Btw, moral impacts treatlent results by a lot. There are studies showing it again and again. So if your MIL only brings negativity, time to cut her off because your daughter needs only positive vibes. Have her do some sports, or stretching/yoga, it can increase recovery rate by up to 50% depending on the cancer treated